We open with a clip of Earl on what he called "Earl Island," making a shockingly good sand drawing illustrating his new touristy locale. He talks about keeping friends close and enemies closer, and he whacks a snake in half. In half! He always did have that killer instinct, you know. He finds the idol, talks about having the power, and says, "We are in business." And, of course, Manifest Destiny.
And then we are back in New York in the studio, where Earl is wearing a subdued print shirt and looking plumped-up. He's had a few plates of pasta since his return, I think. Jeff "Stinkpot" Probst reminds us that Earl never got one bad vote until he got all the good votes, which is a pretty big accomplishment, if you think about it. Jeff points out that in doing all this, not only did Earl never win an immunity challenge, but he didn't know he was coming on the show until two days before he left for Fiji. Jeff turns and congratulates Earl, who smiles the smile of a man who has just won a lot of money and, to the great dismay of the gap-toothed, has had his gap fixed, as I've previously mentioned. Jeff reminds Earl that they cast him at "the last minute," and further remembers that Earl got the call on a Friday and left that Monday. Asked if he recalls, Earl chuckles that he certainly does. You would think. Earl reveals that he not only wasn't a fan of the show, but really hadn't watched it regularly until he went. He says that he knew of it, and he'd watched maybe the first season, but he doesn't really even watch TV. Now, of course, he's a big fan. Money will do that. That's how I became a fan of betting on bunny fights.
Jeff asks Earl about his close relationship with Yau Man, which warms all of our hearts, and wonders when that relationship started. Earl says they bonded on the first day. He says that they immediately "clicked," and Earl noticed that Yau Man was "the Professor of the Gilligan's Island." So: bicycles out of bamboo, or whatever, were apparently in the cards. Jeff asks if they had an agreement to get to a particular point, and Earl openly admits that originally, the deal was to go all the way to the end together, but that as the game progressed, they all agreed that around F5 or F4, it was going to have to become every person for himself.
Jeff turns to Yau Man to ask what made him trust Earl, and Yau Man says that under the horrible conditions of Ouch Camp, you learn what people are made of. He mentions Earl's work ethic as well as the fact that Earl actually reached out to befriend him. It's amazing how far that gets people sometimes, and how you can get screwed if you're perceived as belonging to a clique that excludes. In fact...if I were to name one quality that the largest number of winners have in common, it might be that they were not perceived as belonging to a mean, catty clique that punished people socially. Hatch, Tina, Ethan, Vecepia, Heidik, Amber, Chris, Tom, Danni, Yul...only Morasca, Sandra, and arguably Aras. Really, only Morasca and Sandra, whom I didn't like anyway. Interesting. Anyway, Jeff asks whether Earl and Yau Man will really be friends for life, and Earl is sure they will be. Yau Man nods also. I really hope that's true. Earl certainly seems very confident, and it doesn't sound like bullshit. On the other hand, it's a little easier to say from where he's sitting; namely, on a pile of cash.
Jeff asks Earl if there was a pivotal moment in the game that led to his win, and Earl says that his pivotal moment, unfortunately, was booting Yau Man, which made it possible for him to get all those votes. Jeff points out that if that's the case, then that goes back to the pivotal decision really being "Dreamz" not giving Yau Man immunity. Earl agrees, saying that he was "shocked" by that development. He says he was already gearing up for a battle with Yau Man, so he was very surprised to find that it wasn't going to happen that way. Earl openly says that when he heard "Dreamz" go back on the deal, he thought, "I just won a million dollars." Jeff says it sounds like Earl knew he had the votes, and Earl hedges before admitting that...yes, he was pretty confident he'd beat Cassandra and "Dreamz." Jeff does his dumb and pointless thing here where he asks people to raise their hands if they would have voted for Yau Man instead of Earl if he'd been in the final three instead of "Dreamz." The funniest part is that Lisi, ever the desperate hanger-on, totally doesn't raise her hand, but she looks over to see what Alex is doing. Once she sees Alex's hand go up, she obediently raises her hand, because she can't think for herself, like, at all. She's the Lacey Chabert of this Mean Girls movie. So those ostensibly offering their votes to Yau Man include Stacy, Alex, Boo, Lisi, and Rocky. So, of course, Jeff declares that Yau Man would have won. This is always so meaningless, because nobody really knows what they would have done if the situation had been different; it isn't possible. If Yau Man's there, maybe the jury decides he was "crafty" or something. All jury grapes are sour; it's a basic rule of the game. That's not to mention the fact that Lisi totally has no idea what she would have done on her own. But Jeff congratulates Earl on the "very wise decision" to get rid of Yau Man.
Jeff now talks about how "Dreamz" profoundly affected three people: himself, Earl, and Yau Man. "Dreamz" sputters some grinning nonsense about how he's "a good guy" and happy to affect three people...two negatively, including himself, but no matter. Being important is what counts! Jeff promises that we'll come back and talk to "Dreamz" and figure out what the hell goes on in his head. I'm skeptical, but I suppose that natural curiosity is good for us all.
Falling-down shots take us into commercials, logically enough. This whole season was about falling down, for many of us, and more falling down is probably the only thing that could have made it better.
We return to a "Dreamz" montage, including the wonderful/uncomfortable "shaqueelah" sequence. I can't believe I forgot to make better use of that during the season. In the studio, we are reminded that We! Are! Live! Jeff says that he wants to know first whether it's possible for "Dreamz" to really explain how he feels about things, given how different his perspective on a million-dollar game show naturally is from the perspective of, say, someone who hasn't ever lived in poverty. It's a fair question, though I'm not sure it's one that he's really equipped to answer, any more than any of us can speak intelligently about how our perspectives affect our perceptions. "Dreamz" kind of looks baffled, but he goes in another direction by saying that his background helped him not to be upset by the conditions, since living on the island was better than some of the other ways he's lived. Fair enough. He insists, as has become his general mantra, that what got him in trouble was the inability to separate friends from the game. Which is not true at all. I mean, where was he conflicted because of friendship? He wasn't conflicted over breaking his word to Yau Man because they were friends; he was conflicted over breaking his word to Yau Man because he already took the dude's truck. A real, honest, $60,000 truck that he extracted with a deal he didn't keep. That didn't bother him because they were buddies; it bothered him because he baldly went back on a deal after collecting a $60,000 payout. If that had been about friendship, the solution is incredibly easy: renege on the deal and give back the truck, and you have your shot at the million and you haven't screwed your friend. Problem solved! Anyway.
Jeff wonders whether "Dreamz" was "socially overwhelmed." Because Jeff gives him an opening by asking about his "plan," if he had one, "Dreamz" goes into this whole thing about how he had a plan from the minute he got there, everything was all carefully scripted from the beginning, which is total and obvious bullshit, and it's kind of embarrassing to see him trying to bravado his way through this conversation, as if he's fooling anybody. He says that he talked to Earl the first day about getting to the end, and they had a deal that they had kind of got messed up when they were separated tribe-wise. Jeff tries to get him back to the topic at hand, pressing that what people want to know about him is whether he was improvising the entire time (which he obviously was) or whether he was some kind of strategic genius (which he obviously wasn't). Unsurprisingly, "Dreamz" goes with "genius," though he glosses it so much that Jeff eventually turns to the audience in frustration to explain how hard it was the entire time to ever get the guy to give a straight answer.
Cassandra, called upon to help resolve the conflict, loyally insists that "Dreamz" was only pretending to be improvising, and in fact he was brilliant. God, why do these people think they're going to bullshit things that are contradicted by (1) people's actions and (2) private confessionals in which they have no motive to lie? It's just ridiculous, this "crazy genius" theory. It's ridiculous. She also preposterously claims that "Dreamz" "knew what people were thinking and how they would react" to events, meaning that he apparently intentionally behaved in a manner that would cause him to get not one single jury vote. I mean...come on. We're not idiots, lady. You want us to give him credit; give us a little credit, too. This also wildly contradicts his own repeated comments during the show that nothing he had planned ever worked out the way he intended. I understand that she feels defensive about people calling him stupid, and she's not wrong, because "strategically scattershot" is not the same as "stupid," but she's taking us on such a smoke-blowing tour here that what she's saying is losing all impact. She closes by marveling at his ability to get back in people's good graces, which worked like a charm on the jury. Shut up, Cassandra.
Jeff shows a montage that reminds us all of the way the truck deal developed and the eventual reneging happened. He has the assistance of clips, fortunately. When we come back, the audience is booing lustily. And, logically, Boo puts his hand up to acknowledge the crowd screaming his name. Hee hee. Nice touch. I have a feeling that's not his first time on that joke. Jeff gets back to business and asks "Dreamz" about the wiggling back and forth about what he was going to do, as far as wanting his son to be a man of his word versus warning Earl and Cassandra about what to do if he didn't go with the "keeping my word for the good of my son" thing. So Jeff asks him, once again, whether at the time he made the deal, he intended to keep it. Of course, "Dreamz" first responds just as he has every time this has come up, which is by saying that he tried to get Yau Man out before he had to do either -- he tried to get Yau Man out before it became an issue. And we know that. That's right. However. The fact remains that he still, at the time the deal was made, knew that it was possible that wouldn't happen. And if that happened, did he think he would keep his word, did he think he wouldn't keep his word, or was he not sure? There exists an answer to that question. It's not Zen, it's not one of those crazy "tree falls in the forest" things; it's just a question, and "Dreamz" really, really, really does not want to answer it. Because I think the answer is "I saw the shiny truck and figured I'd deal with the rest later," like the kind of person who goes for those "no payments for six months" advertisements.
Jeff once again blasts him for never answering the question. Ultimately, "Dreamz" claims that he never intended to keep his word, which would mean that he pointlessly lied in multiple confessionals. It's just patently false, but we've been over this, as well as how sad it is that he prefers this image to the one he thinks he'll have if he admits what really happened. Jeff then asks him whether he thought about maybe giving the truck back. At this point, "Dreamz" says (missing the point again) that he thought maybe he should give the truck back because he liked Yau Man, but he had to get back in "game mode" and reassure himself that he should keep it. And the fact that he totally didn't have to keep the truck for game reasons is where his logic falls apart. That's where he kind of could have had it both ways -- you renege on the deal, play your hardest in the game, let the chips fall where they may...and you can still tell your son that when you broke your word, it felt right to give the truck back, so you did. But he wants the truck, which is fine, but...like I said, we've been over this. Jeff congratulates "Dreamz" on his "charm," which I don't agree with, really. I'm not sure he's charming as much as he's like a novice who goes and plays poker with a bunch of students of the game, and he manages to do really well for one game, because he's listening to the vibrations in his fillings and doing shit that doesn't make any sense, which makes him hard to predict. This is a short-term, not a long-term strategy, but that's really what Survivor calls for. If you play the game a hundred times, this isn't the way to play it, but you don't -- you play it once.
Now, Jeff asks Earl about the part where Earl reassured Yau Man that he thought "Dreamz" would stick to the deal. He wonders whether Earl really thought "Dreamz" would stick to the deal, or whether he just said he thought that, because it would keep Yau Man complacent in case maybe "Dreamz" wasn't going to keep it. Without hesitation, Earl says that he "totally" was convinced that "Dreamz" was going to keep his word. This moment, more than any other, looks to me like it cuts "Dreamz" to the bone. His half-smile is very, very complicated, to my eye.
And now, the We All Love Yau Man montage. And why not? In a season of Yau Man And Earl Versus The Moron Brigade, both of the non-morons should at least get some love. Of course, the part where he found the idol was the best part. That and "love many, trust few, do wrong to none." Back in the studio, everyone applauds wildly. Jeff returns to the truck thing, asking whether Yau Man really thought "Dreamz" would keep his word, and Yau Man says he did, right up until the last minute at tribal council. Jeff asks Yau Man what he thinks of "Dreamz," and whether he was disappointed or impressed. Yau Man says this, pulling no punches, which is the non-patronizing way to go: "I was actually quite impressed with him. I think, you know, basically he's a very smart guy, but he's so totally undisciplined in his thinking. He has flashes of genius, but he doesn't know what to do with them or put them together, so things come out of his head that go, 'wow,' and then other times...he doesn't put it together. That can be trained, you know, education. You can go anywhere you want to." "Dreamz" says that he thinks this sounds pretty good. Yau Man repeats that "Dreamz" can do anything, but he needs to "get himself together and get some discipline in thinking." If "Dreamz" is smart, he'll grab that suggestion and run with it. As I said, I really like the fact that Yau Man gave credit to "Dreamz" for having an interesting thought now and then, but didn't pretend not to have noticed that the kid's thinking is pretty much all over the place. I also think for a minute that "Dreamz" and Yau Man should be in a movie together where Yau Man teaches him how to organize his thinking, but then I realize that I wouldn't want to watch a movie with "Dreamz" in it.
Now Jeff jumps topics, saying that he thought it was really weird that at the last minute, Yau Man didn't make much of a move to try to persuade "Dreamz" to stick to the deal they made. Yau Man says that he feels like this was a product of a certain stubbornness on his part, and that he refused to acknowledge as the time got closer that he had been wrong about "Dreamz," and that he needed to rely on more than just his belief that the kid would keep his word because it was his word. Once again, you can see on the face of "Dreamz" that this is what really bothers him and makes him worry. Every time someone he thinks is a really good person and a really good barometer says how sure they were that he would stick to the deal, I think he feels all over again that sick feeling like they were disappointed in him. Obviously, they're not saying they were impressed that he ultimately didn't keep his word, you know? It's just a reminder that his whole thing -- his whole "I am noble, I am 'Dreamz'" thing -- it worked on these people, and they believed it. And then...well, you know. In fact, when Yau Man finishes with the simple words, "I was wrong about him," then entire audience lets out this "awwwww," which I think sinks into the soul of "Dreamz" like a lead weight. There's nothing like a father figure -- remember, "Dreamz" made that allusion himself -- saying he was wrong about you after all.
Jeff asks Yau Man about people approaching him on the street, and he agrees that yes, he gets approached for autographs and pictures and so forth. "It's a new feeling," he says neutrally. Jeff prods, asking whether it's a good feeling, and Yau Man says that it is, and that he's had to get used to the fact that people yell out his rather unusual name when they don't know him personally. He had to get used to not being embarrassed not to recognize people who clearly knew him. Heh. So if you see him, yell out, "Yau Man, you don't know me! But I know you! Way to go! Hope you get another truck! Don't give it away this time!"
Up : Rocky. God.
When we come back from commercials, Jeff tells us that every season, they try to cast a ridiculous asshole, known here as a "go-to guy." A montage of Rocky's sexist, obnoxious, gay-panic attacks on Anthony, among other "go-to" moments, follows. Back in the studio, Jeff chuckles affectionately about the big fucking bully, telling all the players that, not to take anything away from anyone else, Rocky "always delivered," meaning that he always talked in a way they could put on TV, whether he had anything to say or not. Jeff asks Rocky about being recognized on the street, and he confirms that indeed, he is recognized on the street. Rocky says that everyone realizes that he's an awesome guy as long as he's "had a sandwich that day." Jeff asks Rocky how he describes the experience to people, and he says "it was pretty rough, and I got to meet Jeff Probst," Jeff crinkles his nose affectionately, because this is exactly the kind of guy that is Jeff Probst's greatest weakness. When he sees a guy who's all, "I'm a man's man," Jeff cannot resist (1) wanting that guy to like him; and (2) desperately wanting to avoid coming off like he disapproves, lest people think he (Jeff) is girly. It's his Achilles' heel, and if you've watched him over the season, with his disdain for quitters and men who cry, you know it.
This weakness continues to play out as Jeff moves to Anthony, who was victimized by Rocky's bullying tactics to literally the point of tears, who was actually, literally accused of being inadequately manly with the use of the word "skirt," and who never once has indicated that he wanted any part of any battle with Rocky such that you could accuse him of picking part of the fight himself. In a montage, Anthony calls himself a nerd, and Rocky calls him "effeminate" and "a little girl." Jeff once again presents to Anthony his asinine, addlepated, nitwit theory that Rocky was a bully as a way of trying to help Anthony be a better and stronger person, which is right out of 101 Ways To Enable Abusers. I mean, are you shitting me, Jeff? People don't bully other people as a way of building them up; that's ridiculous. You can sympathize with Rocky as a figure more pathetic than malicious, but you certainly can't expect Anthony to thank him, which is practically what's being suggested. I think Jeff is generally a decent (though cheeseball) guy, but I cannot abide what happens to his personality when he sees an opportunity to weigh in on manliness. This is the part of him that became buddies with Colby Donaldson, because Colby was in razor commercials, because he was that much of a stud. Jeff has a thing about embracing this asshole "men who are real men" thing, and it makes me want to throw up every single time. Fortunately, Anthony is having none of it, and good-naturedly says that Rocky was "hungry" and "crazy," and he didn't really want to get in fights with people, so he handled it like he handled it, and fuck off, Jeff Probst. Jeff asks Anthony if he's different in any way, and Anthony says that he can "put up with a lot more" than he thought he could. Somehow, I don't think Anthony's buying the "Rocky taught me a lesson" story that Jeff is trying to sell. Anthony makes a comment about tolerating lawyers at work, and then pointedly says, "Alex." Heh.
This brings us to the part where Jeff accuses Alex of being "in full lawyer mode" during tribal council, which, as I have already explained, is a load of hooey. Jeff asks Alex why in the hell he and his guys chose to trust "Dreamz." Alex says that you have "personal relationships" with everyone, and you have to "go with your gut" and so forth. Everybody's a risk; especially the guy who's already screwed, like, six people, but okay. When you're Alex, an endless string of clichés is the least of your problems. Alex insists that "Dreamz" was a better bet than Lisi, who wanted to go home. Jeff asks Lisi whether what was on TV was really her, all crazy and happy and sad and...did we mention crazy? He asks if she really does walk around with her brain hanging out like that. "You have to! What are you supposed to do?" she asks. And...she would, I guess. She says she can't be one of those people with "covering-up madness." Right on, crazypants! The clips of her include, of course, the awesome part where she fell on her face: Ka-fwump! She gives herself a "woo-hoo!" and then says "rock and roll" twice. Word to the wise: when you work for a phone psychic and your favorite drink is rum and Coke, you really can't say "rock and roll." Not even once, but especially twice. Jeff calls her "a go-to woman," because she is also an obnoxious asshole, just like Rocky, and that's what makes her a Jeff Probst MVP.
Boo! Jeff vows that the disgusting, stomach-churning, send-your-dog-out-of-the-room sound you heard when Boo's knee popped -- or popped back, really -- was the real live sound; no Foley artist was standing there smacking a side of beef with a baseball bat. Asked how his knee is, Boo says that he's got a torn ACL, the mother of all bad knee injuries. He hasn't had it worked on, either. This is eerie, because an unrepaired ACL tear is just another thing that Boo has in common with my dog. There are a few. His real name is "Kenward," by the way, which might explain a little bit about why he goes by "Boo."
Jeff talks to Michelle about the fact that if she hadn't been there, Ravu would never have gotten fire at all. They would presumably have all died of thirst. So thanks, Michelle, for saving Rocky's life. Oh, wait. He further points out that almost no one has made fire without flint. He can't think of a thing to ask Michelle that's more interesting than what it does for her as a very young person being on the show. Really, Jeff? A young woman who was unceremoniously dumped owing to bad luck from an alliance destined to dominate, and all you can ask her is what it's like to be a few years younger than everyone else? I mean, if she were fourteen, okay, but she's not, you know? Michelle says that it proved to her that it doesn't matter how old you are; it just matters that you have a good attitude. She's typically grinning, but it's a total missed opportunity, as are most of Jeff's attempts at conversation.
Edgardo! Of course, he's still pissed at "Dreamz." Edgardo is about this the way some people in Georgia are about the Civil War: it will never be over, and it will never stop being about the spilling of your personal blood. Jeff asks Edgardo about his comment in the last episode that he had gained new appreciation for family. In kind of a cutting remark, Jeff tells him that he honestly didn't think Edgardo was a family-missing kind of guy, all things considered. I don't know how I feel about that; it's like Jeff is saying, "Honestly, you struck me as kind of a meathead; can you tell me about having a soul?" Edgardo talks about how he got homesick, because...he was betrayed by "Dreamz." This really happens. Homesickness turns into a discussion of backstabbing. Do you think he still goes into restaurants and is like, "I'll have the chicken. You know who's really a chicken? A man who betrays another man"? Because I think maybe he does. Edgardo says that this reminds you of who you can trust. And you can't trust Dreamz, is the detail he'd like you to take away from all this.
Up : Gary talks about practically dying. And who gained weight for the show? But first: A suffering montage!
We come back, and Jeff is talking about the physical and mental toll taken by the game, and of course, we can go to Gary, a/k/a "Papa Smurf," who had to be medically evacuated. Jeff confirms what we heard, which is that the actual reason for his illness was "thousands of fire-ant bites." Yoiks. That doesn't sound very good. I actually get text messages about this show sometimes that say things like, "I wish that guy would get thousands of fire-ant bites," but those text messages (1) generally are in jest; and (2) mostly involve Mookie. Gary says that he was only physically changed in one way, and then he shows off a truly huge tattoo on his arm of the Survivor logo. Wow, really? That kind of freaks me out. You want to be a ninety-year-old guy whose arm says, "Outwit, Outplay, Outlast"? In really, really, really big letters?
Mookie. Jeff points out that Mookie never got to be in the nice camp, ever. He fails to mention that this was probably the universe's revenge. Plus, he gave away the immunity idol for no reason. Jeff asks what the worst part was, and Mookie says that going to almost every tribal council was pretty lousy, constantly wondering if he was going to be sent home. And then he name-checks "Dreamz" again for getting him voted off. I think maybe he and Edgardo could get a group rate on therapy.
We now move into the rapid-fire segment in which Jeff tries to get to everyone, mostly so you can see how all the women did their hair, which is one of the few things that is consistently worth discussing about the reunion show.
Jeff asks Stacy about the part where everyone said they hated her guts. Stacy says that it "changed [her] perspective on [her]self and other people." She doesn't really say how, and Jeff doesn't ask. Nice job, Jeff. Incisive interviewing technique, there.
Liliana. ("Who the hell is Liliana?") Jeff says he heard she gained twenty pounds to come on the show. Basically, she immediately admits that she didn't, but she maybe ate a little more before she came on. Yeah, way to break Jeff's stride, Liliana. No wonder no one remembers you! She says she intended to win, so obviously, she intended to be there a little longer.
Rita, are your kids proud? They are proud. Hey, there are Rita's kids in the audience. With Uncle Nick! And she says that she never gave up.
Sylvia gets just enough time to say the name of a show on HGTV called Extreme Building, which has selected a house she worked on to be featured at some point. I hope she enjoyed her moment. At least she got to dominate the early episodes, if only by being bossy and annoying.
Hey, Erica, was that frustrating? "It was very frustrating!" Jessica, did you make friends? She did, because after she got voted out, the other people there were really cool! That's all we have that we'd like to ask you; go away. You might -- you might -- get a table at Dolce.
up: the "sneak peek" at the destination.
When we come back, Jeff tells us that we're headed to...China! And here's how the preview of season goes: Shots of tropical islands. (You won't be seeing that.) Jeff says we're leaving the tropical islands at last. (So...that makes sense, then.) Shots of mountains. (You might see that.) Shots of the Great Wall. (Probably not.) Shots of...monks? With lamps? Walking along the Great Wall? (Definitely not.) "This...is China!" A big, bustling, sped-up city in China. (Not.) A busy street in China. (Not.) Chinese characters dancing across the street. (Oh my God.) A man writing. (Not.) Dragon heads. (Not.) Gold Buddhas. (Not.) A canal between two buildings in a city. (Not.) A gargoyle. (Not.) A giant statue. (Not.) The Great Wall again. (Not.) More statues. (Not.)
HEY! Islands. Maybe this has something to do with the show, and not just clips lifted from the Travel Channel. For a precious few seconds, we see what may actually be the location of the show on some mysterious lake or something, and then...a tiger. God knows you can't show anything about China without a tiger. Fuck the tiger, man. And fuck the panda he rode in on, who is seen after him, and the snow leopard after that. I have nothing bad to say about the monk ringing the giant bell, except that he has nothing to do with the show. And then there are shots of groups people doing various things -- rowing a dragon boat, dancing, and battling with sticks, and none of this has jack to do with the show, unless they have decided to cast Survivor: China entirely with Chinese people. We get another couple of shots of actual deserted settings, but then it's back to a totally irrelevant shot of guys with swords, whipping their swords in unison. Okay, seriously? What do martial arts and a city in China have to do with Survivor? It's like an entire preview that answers the question, "But what will the show be near?" "Well, it'll be near this! And this! And this! The show is being filmed near all kinds of exciting things!" NOBODY CARES. God. They'll never learn. They should make me the official No Lady of this show. All I would do all day is say, "...No." And things would immediately improve. STARTING WITH TOURIST SHOTS OF CHINA. God.
Jeff tells us that Earl will get his big check on The Early Show, and you can buy things at auction on eBay and blah, and if you want to be "helped" by bullies, you can apply to go on the show, and Jeff will give you a wedgie, maybe.
Oh, and Earl announces that half the money is going to his mother. Just so you know.
Thanks for the season, and thanks for your readership and good humor. Props to the entire TWoP staff, which rocks, and especially Wing and Joe R for fixing my typos. I hope to see you all in China.