Previously on I Wouldn't Say Ken and Barbie, So Much As Greg(g) and Marcia: It was revealed that Gregg and Anonymous Jen were keeping company at Koror, much to the scandalized delight of Coby. Coby's gasping joy only grew when he learned that in addition to the contortions involved in winding their limbs around each other in various formations, Gregg and Anonymous Jen were planning to bolt from Ian, Tom, and Katie once Willard and Caryn were gone. Meanwhile, both tribes had to go to tribal council, and after a weird switcheroo where Ulong wanted to vote off the challenge-blowing Ibrehem and was stopped by Koror, they booted Angie instead. Oh, and Koror booted Willard, because they literally could not think of one reason to consider doing anything else at all, making it possibly the least-discussed eviction in the history of the show. Willard went off to his room to think about what he had done.
Ulong. Night 12, after tribal council. A crab is on the move, because he knows a sinking ship when he sees one. As the miserable little tribe stumbles back into camp, Ibrehem interviews that it was the wackiest tribal council ever, what with going in there being sure that he was going to be booted, and then...not! Also, as Wing pointed out last week, who ever heard of beef stew and root beer? Not that Ibrehem really attacks on that front. The team has a meeting at which Steph starts talking about how, at the challenge, they should work on "listening skills," and quite brilliantly, James just starts talking over her about how important that is, and how right she is, all the while entirely stepping on what she's trying to say. "Keep your eeeears open, and listen to yo' teammates," James blathers. See, it's like irony, but more hillbilly.
Steph explains how Ibrehem knows that he was the one who was going to go, and he knows he'll go , as far as she's concerned. James decides that they should relive the entire thing again, some more, and he launches into a rant about how Ibrehem wasn't paying attention at the challenge, and "you cost us the game," blah dee blah. Bobby Jon interviews that he didn't appreciate James going after Ibrehem about the same old thing yet again, when as far as he's concerned, they both win and lose as a team. "If you can't get over beef stew, please," Bobby Jon says. Heh. And root beer!
And then it is the day, and Ibrehem is doing his prayers. I think he's the first active Muslim castaway, isn't he? I mean, one you actually see praying? I think he is. Mostly, in terms of spirituality, it's pretty much Bibles and yoga. Anyway, Ibrehem explains that, usually, he's able to get away on his own to do this, and he segues directly into how God had a hand in saving him at tribal council. Sigh. He tells us that he has "a whole new grasp" as the result of the intervention of...well, you know. It's good to see that the belief that God intervenes in reality television is an interfaith kinda thing.
Koror. Ian interviews that they voted Willard off, and then the group got some beef stew, and everybody seems good. Tom interviews similarly that people are doing "projects" around camp. Coby is already all wound up when we get to his interview. "Camp Koror had Craft Day," he singsongs. "Well, just Katie. Everybody else was working." And in the clips we see, Katie is indeed weaving something, but Coby is mostly...watching her, so I'm not sure what his great contribution is. In fact, Katie interviews that she's doing great, and "thought it would be harder than this." We watch Caryn ask Katie about what she's weaving, and then Caryn complains in her interview that she also thinks Katie should "work a little harder." Because, as Caryn says, "It appears that she's just here to entertain." I think Caryn and Coby need to start getting hip to the fact that nobody votes you off Survivor because you don't do enough work around camp, so unless Katie cares what Coby and Caryn think of her, which she undoubtedly doesn't, she has her role down perfectly well -- her role is Girl In Majority Alliance. And I believe it's Ian and Katie who are then seen putting on a puppet show with socks, in which they act out tribal council. Katie has puppet-Bobby Jon say, among other things, "Ah look like Jesus Christ!" He doesn't, really, but I'm telling you, it's the dress. But...hey, wait -- there's a third person popping up from behind the puppet-show curtain. It's Coby! I thought he was working! Wait, and there are Gregg and Jen in the hammock together! I thought everyone was working but Katie! She was the only one who had Craft Day! Coby said so! Well, I suppose Coby is right that he didn't quite have Craft Day. He had Puppet Day, which is apparently a far more serious undertaking.
Later, Janu and Katie head out to get treemail, and they find a tube that has a lone Pringle tied to it. Boy, if that's not the foundation of a poem, people, I just don't know. When they read the bad rhyme, it becomes clear that there's some kind of aiming/shooting competition to come, and apparently, this is the crap-ass Pringles reward that has become traditional. When Katie tells the team that Pringles are involved, incidentally, she seems a lot happier than anyone else. You know how there's that one girl on your floor in college who still likes Jolly Ranchers? Well, Katie is that girl, except with Pringles. And apparently, Koror's clawing-the-air-and-hollering thing has really taken off, because the entire team does it, like a cheer. Is it from "Ko-RAAAR!"? Because...well, all right. But it's dopey. Of course, at my high school, they spelled out "Q-U-A-K-E-R-S" as a football cheer, so what the hell do I know?
Challenge clearing. Jeff brings in Koror, and then Ulong. Jeff explains that there are sixteen tribe-colored tiles hung up, eight for each tribe. With "a replica of a 50-caliber small-class cannon," which looks a lot like an air gun you'd aim and shoot at Chuck E. Cheese (well, you wouldn't shoot it at Chuck E. Cheese; you'd shoot it while at Chuck E. Cheese -- you know what I'm saying), each tribe will try to knock out its own tiles. The reward is that the winners get on a "very unique [sic] one-of-a-kind Japanese boat." They'll have Pringles and mai tais, just like they serve at a Polynesian mini-mart. Then they'll head out to Jellyfish Lake, which houses millions of jellyfish, among whom the tribe will snorkel. But don't worry -- they're safe jellyfish, because they live in fresh water and thus have no need or ability to sting. I love when Jeff tells the teams it's a chance to "get some food in your belly," because...Jeff, it's Pringles, dude. That's not food in your belly. That's salt and instant potato powder. That's like trying to get nutrition from ground Styrofoam floating in weak tea.
Koror is first challenged to sit half of the team. Ian says they'll sit Katie, Janu, Jen, and Ian himself. Presumably, they know that this leaves those four for the immunity challenge, which...wow. Anyway. Jeff sends those sitting out over to the bench, and we are off. Ulong is up first, and we start with Bobby Jon. Miss. Gregg. Miss. James. Miss. Coby. Miss. Ibrehem. Miss. Tom. Hit, of course. Of course. So Koror is up 1-0. And then Steph, and -- guess what? She hits, too. Tied 1-1. Caryn is up. Miss, duh. (It's Caryn.) Bobby Jon hits, giving Ulong a 2-1 lead. Gregg then hits, so it's 2-2. James misses again. Coby misses again. Ibrehem hits, so Ulong has it 3-2. Tom misses -- shock! Steph hits again, unsurprisingly. Ulong is up 4-2. Caryn hits (goes to show me), Bobby Jon hits, Gregg hits, so now it's 5-4 Ulong. And then it's James. Who misses again. Much missing ensues, until Steph steps up and puts Ulong up 6-4. Caryn hits for Koror, so it's 6-5. Bobby Jon connects for a 7-5 lead. Gregg gets Koror back to 7-6. And then James steps up for Ulong -- and misses again. Coby hits, so we're in a 7-7 tie. Ibrehem gets up. He misses. Tom is up for Koror. And he misses! Unbelievable. Steph gets up for Ulong, and she wants it bad. And she hits, of course, because she is completely awesome. Koror steps up to go for the tie, and the pressure is all on Caryn. Who misses, because she is Caryn, and she is not awesome under pressure. So did you get that? Ulong actually wins the challenge. I know! Apparently, they win without James's doing a damn thing. I very much like the Ulong celebration, especially the way that Ibrehem grabs up Steph and they look about as happy as if they had already just won the million dollars. Koror goes home empty-handed, and Jeff tells Ulong that they'll be going off for the party they obviously need very badly. Bobby Jon gives Steph one of those slightly protective, very admiring, mildly smothering hugs that certain guys can deliver in such a way that they could go on for an hour and a half, for all you'd care. Aw. I wish they weren't doomed.
When we return, Ulong is paddling out to the boat as Stephenie interviews that she loved getting the win, which the team needed to "boost [their] spirits." They make their way up onto a big boat that turns out to have a sort of a party room inside. And there are the mai tais, and there are the cans of Pringles. Rather goofily, they have Pringles "Prints," on which there are questions written about past Survivor players. The first one is about Rupert, so I try not to pay attention. The question deals with who won a car on All-Stars, and that just makes me think of Shii Ann's free car again, which I hated very much, so I'm basically just getting more and more angry. Ultimately, Ulong has a toast in which they agree that they will engage in no further pathetic loserdom. Which is...you know, a likely story. As part of the sealing of the promises among them, the almost impossibly hot Bobby Jon, who is most definitely one of those lucky guys whose looks benefit tremendously from increases in scraggliness and desperation, encourages the rest of the team just to keep on going. I am not paying attention to one word he says.
, Ulong is delivered to the lake. They look down and see that the lake is indeed full to the brim with jellyfish. They strap on their snorkel gear as Bobby Jon explains how weird the experience was. We watch as the tribe members make their way through what is genuinely a veritable forest of jellyfish, which Bobby Jon calls "a euphoric type of feeling." I sort of think it would feel like having bugs crawling all over you, rather more "unbelievably creepy" than "euphoric," but...okay. ["I'm with you. Fish freak me out." -- Wing Chun] As he dives, Bobby Jon tells us that he wanted to cherish the experience, because he was at a place in the world where he'll never be again. Oh, Bobby Jon, you big sap. Steph says that the team now feels healthy and confident and ready to go. Because again, they never, ever, ever see it coming, no matter how many times it happens. "We feel like a tribe again," she says. Behold, the power of Pringles. (You know, one of my college friends was very interested in the fact that they eventually changed the slogan from "Behold, the power of cheese" to "Ah, the power of cheese." He hypothesized that people found the first one too threatening.)
Koror, Night 11. there is quite a storm kicking up as the tribe frets over its surroundings. Fortunately, they're fairly confident that their crew-built shelter will hold up -- Ian enough that he looks at the heavens and says, "I'd like to see 'em try!" Wow, that's a good way to be immediately hit by a bolt of lightning that leaves a little pile of greasy ashes where you used to be. ["It's especially ballsy coming from Ian, who is taller than some actual lightning rods." -- Wing Chun] Tom interviews that, with the increasing winds, he's very aware of every gust.
But before you know it, the members of Koror have apparently (and unexpectedly!) survived, because morning comes on Day 14, and the sun is out. The rest of the tribe is sort of grumping about the tough night they had, but Janu looks even rougher than the rest of them. You know that girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, and she kind of can't stand up, and people keep bringing her Diet Cokes and issues of Us Weekly? Well, even she would look over at Janu and say, "Oh, honey, it's not that bad." Janu interviews that she felt "vulnerable," "alone," and "scared." Because that's what storms do, apparently -- they make you lonely. Hey, you know what she needs? Company. Like...about a million jellyfish would be good. Of course, I think a million jellyfish would be of the most help to her if she could eat them, because yikes. She continues to sort of sit in the hammock looking miserable, and Tom tries to see if he can cheer her up. He tells her that he, too, feels what a bad day it is, and he's especially missing his family. He tells her just to let today suck, and then get on with tomorrow. Such good advice, seriously. The rest of the tribe listens in as Tom reassures Janu that now she knows she's not going home early. She'll make the merge, he thinks she'll make jury, and he thinks that she has a shot at the end, which I don't think is the case, but I realize this wouldn't be the time to tell her, "You could finish as high as fifth or sixth, probably, if you do everything exactly right." Janu insists that she lacks the strength, but Tom tells her she has it in general, even if she doesn't have it today. Aw. Katie interviews that Janu lets herself get too wrapped up in her own head. I sense that Katie doesn't have that problem, if you see my point. She refers to Janu as a "drama queen," which...I kind of understand. Because it does seem a little overdone, the whole thing.
At Ulong on Day 14, they go and get a crate from treemail, and the crate is attached to a note. The note, in alarmist military-style lingo, explains that the other team (referred to in the note as "your enemy," because of the theme, you know?) will be trying to open this box to get out its flag, and your job is to tie up the box with ropes to make it as hard to get into as possible. "Make this box impenetrable," the instructions say. Of course, you're not really going to make it impenetrable by tying it up with rope, or safe deposit boxes would look really different, but you get the idea. And then the instructions say that you're to bring the box with you to the challenge. Which Koror probably would have figured out without help, but Ulong? Not likely. Ulong would have brought the crate to tribal council but not to the challenge. It's actually a good thing they didn't win the beef stew, or they'd probably have tried to patch their shoes with it.
Ulong sets about tying up its crate, and James announces that he knows this knot. It's a knot from the Navy. It's a Navy knot. A magic Navy knot. He vows to the team that, first of all, Koror will not find the magic knot, and if they do find it, they won't be able to do anything about it, as their efforts to pull on it will be unavailing. I believe he is implying that the knot knows kung fu. Now, what would make anyone think that James was capable of magic, I am not sure, but the team seems to be willing to take his word for it. As James arranges the ropes around the crate, Bobby Jon voices over that, indeed, James told them that he was all over this part of the challenge. "We spent a lot of time tyin' this one knot," Bobby Jon smiles, "that he said is like, that when you pull on it? It's just gon' get real, real tighter." You know, sometimes I have daydreams where we sit around and he speaks Bobby Jon-ese to me while feeding me grapes. (Not Pringles, though. No Pringles.) Steph gives some clue of what's supposed to be magic about the magic knot when she marvels that Koror will be going crazy trying to find the end. So apparently, it's a knot that conceals the end of the rope? "I'm pretty sure this is ours for the taking," Steph says into the camera with a grin, because I really love her, but she never smartens up. Maybe it's exactly because she never smartens up that I love her, come to think of it.
Challenge beach. The teams approach. They put down their crates, and then Probst takes back the coconut monkey from Janu. (Coconut monkey: "Mom! Dad! I don't want to go to a different school!") Jeff reminds them about the crate and rope they got this morning. Now, there's more. The teams will have twenty minutes to swim out and get three bundles of lumber that are floating in the water and bring them back to shore. You basically then use the lumber and additional rope to build what Jeff calls a "fortress," hee hee, around the foot locker. (You know, "If I Built This Fortress Around Your Foot Locker" is a really fucking deep song, man.) Ultimately, you're just entangling the crate in the messiest possible wad of wood and rope that the other team will have to undo before they can get into it. After twenty minutes, each tribe will start trying to free up its crate. Once you get to the crate and open it, you grab your flag and raise it, and the first team to do that will win.
For Koror, the team consists of the four people who sat out the reward challenge -- Ian, Janu, Jen, and Katie. Not quite the most formidable squad of all time for a challenge that has a physical aspect, especially given the rough shape that Janu has been in. Anyway, ready, go! As usual, I love watching Ian run, because he's delightfully spazzy and looks like a marionette. Ulong has Steph and Bobby Jon swim out to the lumber while Ibrehem dawdles in the water halfway back. Not sure what that brilliant plan is about. And James is standing around on the beach doing nothing with Ulong's crate and rope. Which is...also, what? Meanwhile, Ian and Jen swim out for lumber for Koror, while Katie and Janu are on the beach already adding additional knots to their crate. James, however, is preoccupied with retying his skirt. Because he was in the Navy, and while he learned to tie a knot that no one would ever be able to decipher, he apparently didn't learn how to tie a piece of fabric around his waist so that it wouldn't fall down or leave his naked ass to flap in the breeze.
Bobby Jon and Steph drag back wood for Ulong. They pass it off to Ibrehem, and James is still on shore working on his dress. "Look at James, tying his skirt instead of the knots," Coby mutters bitchily to Caryn. Ulong makes it back with all three bundles of lumber at once. James momentarily abandons his skirt-tying, which requires a quick blur of his butt as he goes out to help drag the wood in. Jen brings lumber back for Koror, and Katie and Janu go out to get it. Steph uses her teeth to work on knots. Koror finishes fetching wood, and they finally start on their sticks. "I think they've gotten ahead of us," Coby frets, because fretting is kind of his thing, and because it sets him up to complain later, and that's really his thing. ["He certainly would fit right in on The Apprentice." -- Wing Chun] The teams continue building, and suddenly, we fast-forward to five minutes left, and then one minute left. Jeff notes that Ulong has used all of its rope, while Koror has not, quite. As time runs out, the teams shove various pieces of lumber into their nests of rope, the better to complicate the process. Jeff counts down the last few seconds, and we are done. Coby gives a little golf clap.
Now, it's time for the teams to start untying. Ready, go! There is untying. Coby calls the situation "nerve-wracking," although the captioner thinks it is "nerve-racking," and then Koror begins to get a little bit of a lead, clearing out the wood and such a little bit more quickly than Ulong. Koror gets to its crate and drags it over to the table. Ulong is busy untying a zillion knots -- put there by Katie and Janu while James was working on his skirt -- and then finally, it frees up the crate and drags it over. So now both teams are down to the knots they tied this morning, with Ulong presumably counting on the magic Navy knot to be unbeatable. It appears that Koror has basically taken the approach of just putting an enormous number of knots in the rope that have to be untied before you can do anything else. In other words, their knots are not tricky, but they are plentiful. Janu goes after one with her teeth. Caryn and Coby look on uselessly. Koror! Ulong! Untying! Ropes! And then Koror gets to the crate first. Apparently, the magic Navy knot was not so tricky to conquer. Substantially easier to conquer, one hopes, than the actual Navy. Koror opens the box. They run their flag up the flagpole as Steph looks on in utter disgust, and Koror wins its fifth consecutive immunity challenge. The coconut monkey once again goes home with Koror, to the relief of both tribe and monkey, and Ulong is yet again facing a tribal council that will take it down to three members. Let's concentrate on Koror. Koror shares hugs! Aw, hugs!
Later, it is a very grim Day 15 at Ulong. Hash marks on a tree show that -- guess what? It's Day 15. At least they have counted days accurately, which, frankly, is a little bit of a surprise. Maybe there should have been more counting challenges. It is apparently early morning, and Bobby Jon is awake and walking. As the rest of the team gradually wakes up, Ibrehem complains in an interview that, as you know if you're watching at home, the team has yet to win a single immunity challenge. Yeah, I think I've heard that somewhere. Ibrehem says that he'll be voting based on who did the worst at all the immunity challenges, which leaves him with James. But at the moment, Steph is having a chat with James, in which she whispers that Ibrehem and Bobby Jon will certainly vote the same way, so maybe she and James should agree to vote for Ibrehem. "Are you sure Bobby's not going to vote for you?" she asks James. "Oh, I'm sure," James says. She asks him again if he's sure. "Bobby won't vote for me," James says flatly. Steph says she's going to go and speak to Bobby Jon.
James now conducts an interview in which he declares, "Ibrehem's overstayed his welcome." After all, he was meant to leave at the last tribal council and so forth. And then James takes a giant flying leap right past "amusing dumb-ass" to "rampaging asshole bigot" with this gem: "By the grace of Allah, he didn't go. Well, my God says he is today." Oh, you fuck. You tiny-minded, backward, hypocritical, know-nothing fuck. The kind of small that you have to be to drag a miscellaneous religious slur into a discussion of tribal council is so particular that it betrays a sense that you carry these things with you always -- these little rocks of distrust of everyone who isn't exactly like you, and you may tolerate people who aren't precisely like you, but it's an inch below the surface, all this ugliness, and you just can't wait for your shot. What a horrifying remark, truly. How embarrassing that we have people like that walking around in polite society. We should make them wear bells so we know where they are. Jerk. ["PS: Same deity. So in addition to being offensive and dumb, James's statement was also inaccurate. Well done, sir!" -- Wing Chun]
Bobby Jon is spear-fishing, and he is pondering his fate. He points out that he got two votes the other night himself. He says he knows one came from Angie, but he thinks the other one came from Steph. "But it wasn't Stephenie," he says. "I'm thinking it was James." Of course it was Stephenie, but apparently, Bobby Jon isn't on that clue train just yet. And you know why he thinks it was James? Because "it was male handwriting." I guess in that there were no bubble letters and no flowers. "I'm thinking James threw a dart at me, and I'm going to throw one at him," Bobby Jon says. You know, when you're basing your strategy on your belief that you know what men's and ladies' handwriting looks like, that's pretty tenuous.
Steph and Bobby Jon have a chat in which she says that James is convinced that Bobby Jon won't vote for him. Bobby Jon basically says that somebody voted for him the other night, and it wasn't her (!) and it wasn't Ibrehem, so that only leaves James. "You didn't vote for me the other night, did you?" he asks. "No," she lies. "I voted for Angie." Bobby Jon repeats to her that he thought it looked like boy handwriting anyway. Steph interviews that she doesn't enjoy lying, but that it was right in the middle of a voting discussion, so she didn't feel she had much choice. "If I would have [sic] told him the truth, they would have voted me off tonight," she says. Word. Look how she's playing the game! Bobby Jon says that it won't be easy no matter what they do, and Steph says she swears to God that she voted for Angie. (God: "Oy.") Steph and Bobby Jon realize that they're heading for a tie tonight, and she explains to us that she and Bobby Jon agreed that ultimately, they would vote off James and get rid of Ibrehem . Stephenie agrees to this, in return for the promise that she and Bobby Jon will go to the end together. Bobby Jon interviews that he thinks he has a better shot at going to the end with Steph than with Ibrehem, so that's what he'll do once he gets rid of James. Which, frankly, cannot happen soon enough for me at this point. They had better vote off James. They really had better.
Steph interviews that she has two options at this point. One is to stick with James and force the tie. The other is to go with Bobby Jon and Ibrehem and get rid of James. She tells us she's not sure where she stands at the moment.
Tribal council. The team paddles up and is soon seated around the old familiar fire, where their butt prints are permanently pounded into the rock. "James," Jeff begins, "you have not won a single immunity challenge." It's like even Jeff can't believe it, you know? "I tell you whuut," James says. "Tell me something," Jeff begs. Hee. I love it when Jeff makes it clear that he really, truly does not understand. Jeff seeks enlightenment. Jeff wants to understand. Jeff isn't judging. Well, he is, but he's also really curious.
James goes on to share a fascinating psychological theory he has that the team somehow freezes when they hear the word "immunity," like they have a mental block now. I understand where he's coming from, in the sense that you want there to be a real explanation of some kind, but I really think that they just suck. Not that I don't enjoy hearing James wrap his mouth around the words "subconsciously sabotage ourselves," because I do. Jeff asks whether they "gave 100%" in the rope-and-box challenge, pointing out not only James diddling around on the beach with his skirt, but also the way they had Ibrehem pussyfoot around in the water waiting for them to bring wood to him. "That's when you lost the challenge," Jeff says sharply, referring to the fact that they didn't make any use of the early minutes while the wood was being brought in. "Well, that's not what held us up," James protests. Even though it was. And everybody knows it was. I certainly hope that this is the beginning of James circling the drain.
Jeff asks Ibrehem whether he's ever thought he wasn't cut out for the game, given how close he came to being out last time. Ibrehem says no, in fact, he's had his eyes opened to all the things he can do. Surprisingly enough. Jeff gets ready to stick it to James, telling him that according to the "you screwed us in the challenge" approach that James applied to Ibrehem last week, James would apparently go himself now. Unsurprisingly, James does not agree. Now, James thinks that basing your vote entirely on the challenge would be unfair. Now, he thinks you should consider "camp life" and "personality," as well as whether you "have personal feelings for this person." Um. Anyway, Jeff asks Steph how she feels about being part of the most pitiful tribe of all time -- one that is, in his words, "almost done." She says that she still wants to win one freaking immunity challenge, because it's way too embarrassing to be the first tribe not to win a single immunity. Seriously. Ten seasons, and you're going to be the worst tribe? Imagine that. That's got to hurt. It's like being the first person to ever accidentally pants yourself at the Tour de France.
Jeff asks Bobby Jon whether he trusts his tribe, and adorably, Bobby Jon says that he does. "If you don't trust them, you shouldn't be on a tribe with them," he insists. Jeff asks Steph if she trusts the three guys. "I do," she says with a smile. Jeff tries to foment a little more disharmony by bringing up the fact that Ibrehem, James, and Bobby Jon are all...from the south? And he wonders if Steph is afraid that they'll boot her because...she's a Yankee? I don't know. This part is stupid. The Civil War is over, Jeff! Steph says that she's paranoid all the time about being voted off, but she's done her very best, and that's all she can do.
See, this is why I love Steph possibly as much as any woman on this show, ever. Not only is she an very physically and mentally strong person -- I don't recall hearing her complain about the conditions, no matter how crappy they got -- but she has managed to make the fact that she's a woman among guys an utter non-issue. It's like, until Jeff brings up the fact that they're all guys except for her, you kind of forget. Because not only has she been such a ridiculous challenge ass-kicker that it would be absurd to vote her off on a challenge-usefulness theory over either James or Ibrehem, but she has never once leveraged one single shred of the sort of gender-war bullshit that you see women drag out on these shows all the time. She has never gone in search of big brothers, or daddies, or protectors, or flirt partners -- I only even know Steph is straight because I've seen her bio and the discussion of her boyfriend back home. I admire just about every single thing about the way she's played, and the way she's approached her position in the game, and I think she and Bobby Jon have put on a remarkable display of how you handle being on a completely sucky tribe without ever looking like a self-pitying weenie. She befriended Angie when it wasn't clear that that was the horse to bet on, she's resisted getting into personal beat-downs at almost every opportunity, she has tried like hellat every challenge that's been put to the team, and she doesn't seem to have a lick of spite or meanness about any of it. She is flat-out awesome, and while I don't think she has a chance in hell of winning, I think she and I should totally have drinks and discuss how much we freaking hate stupid people.
Anyway, Jeff says that it's time to vote. He sends Bobby Jon, who votes. Then James votes for Ibrehem. "Sorry, Ibrehem," James snarls. "You and I, we just don't get along." Right. Because Ibrehem is God-fearing, and you are not. Punk. Ibrehem votes for James, saying, "Sorry, brother." Steph appears to hesitate, but then votes. Jeff goes off to tally. He returns with the urn, decision is final, blah dee blah. The first vote goes to James. The second vote goes to Ibrehem. And then James -- which puts a surprised look on his face -- and then Ibrehem. So now, it's a tie. Oh, Steph. Jeff sends Stephenie and Bobby Jon off to vote for either Ibrehem or James. "It's your last chance to change your vote," Jeff says. Bobby Jon and Steph both vote. Another tally, another urn. "Tally" being a fairly loose term here, obviously. At any rate, the first vote? James. Second vote? Also James. And he looks very surprised by that. Steph turns to him and apologizes quietly. "I understand, y'all," he says. He does not understand. And frankly, I don't understand, either. Why did Steph do that? If she was going to vote for James, why make a show of her disloyalty to Bobby Jon? It was suggested by the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters that she was afraid that Bobby Jon and Ibrehem might vote for her, so at least siding with James assured her the tie. But that just doesn't wash for me. If she was going to trust that James would vote for Ibrehem, why not trust Bobby Jon and Ibrehem not to vote for her? James is far more sketchy than Bobby Jon or Ibrehem. I don't really get that, but...there you go.
Anyway, James is snuffed. SNUFF! He and his Jesus dress take off for the last time, and Jeff tells Ulong that three people is officially the teeniest tribe ever. Jeff sends them back to camp, barely refraining from yelling, "You people suck!" as they go. I mean, you just know it.
In his interview, James says that his gut told him he wouldn't be voted off. So apparently, his gut is not infallible. He says he's glad he got to play. Me? Not so much.
week: more about Gregg and Jen. Bobby Jon hits the fish jackpot, but is overshadowed by Tom winning the shark jackpot. Way to ruin the suspense, guys.