Miss Alli
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Previously on Happy Betrayals To You: Kathy was shocked to find that Boston Rob didn't actually intend to abandon his entire strategy and support her and Lex over his existing alliance. Then she found out some things about the Easter Bunny and Santa that...well, I don't want to get into the specifics, but suffice it to say that your esents-pray come from your arents-pay, and so do your ocolate-chay unnies-bay. In competitive developments, an obstacle-course challenge promised letters from home for half the group and, for the ultimate winner, both immunity and a home video. When Boston Rob came out on top, he asked to forego what undoubtedly would have been quite a cavalcade of asshattery in his brother's video in exchange for everyone's getting to see their letters from home -- a trade that Jeff was happy to make. With Rob snorfling over his own generosity from the cushy comfort of the Immunity La-Z-Boy, the elimination of the former Mogo Mogo continued apace, despite Kathy and Shii Ann's efforts to convince the six Chaperans that only a sudden change in strategy could protect them from...well, from winding up as the final six, I guess. In the end, Kathy's efforts to sound sage and wise weren't enough to save her, since she fairly obviously is neither, and she was sent home. We're down to seven -- who will be voted out tonight?
Credits. If your car ever makes that noise that opens the credit sequence, I recommend taking it to a mechanic immediately. I think that's actually the noise it makes if you have a slinky in your gas tank.
It is raining at Camp Chaboga Mogo on the morning of Day 29. For some reason, they appear to be using a sparkle filter on the camera so that each individual drop of rain falling on the water looks like a little starburst. Or, actually, a cross. I sense the hand of John Ashcroft in this. And if you've ever "sensed" the hand of John Ashcroft, you know how unpleasant that can be. Shii Ann sits sulking in one of the rain ponchos that were also part of the reward in the day's obstacle course. She voices over that tribal council was "really emotional," and that it made her "really choked up." She laments the "smug, horrible Chaperans" for daring to vote out Kathy. She could blame herself for not helping to win any challenges, which allowed her team to be picked clean like a turkey carcass, but I guess that would be too obvious. She gripes that Chapera is "Pagonging" the Mogo Mogos, so apparently, whatever Shii Ann does with the rest of her time, she spends some of it online reading about herself. Maybe she's doing it now. Hi, Shii Ann! I'm sorry about...well, hi, Shii Ann! We watch her walk plaintively on the beach (damn, I really should have made that macro a long time ago) as she explains that Kathy was her "rock" and her "one true friend." And by her "rock," Shii Ann means "the strategic Henry Higgins to her hapless, bumbling Eliza Doolittle." Now, she has no one. Which, of course, has nothing to do with her snotty attitude and complete failure to take any strategic initiative up to this point, but instead is the result of other people's shortcomings. It's a beautiful day in Shii Ann's mental neighborhood, so feel free to bonk yourself in the head with a rolling pin repeatedly until you feel like you're getting there.
“ Shii Ann doesn't approach Rob with any particular plan, she just asks generally about somebody other than herself being to go. It's just this random 'What about meeeee?' approach that's kind of like walking out to the pitcher's mound in the eighth inning of a no- hitter, all, 'You ever think about throwing with your other hand?' ”
Clouds roll in, and Shii Ann meets up with Rob to have a little chat. She tells him that she knows she's to go, and she wants him to tell her: is he sticking with the Chaperans, or is he open to other options? This, apparently, is her version of strategizing. She doesn't approach him with any particular plan, she just asks generally about somebody other than herself being to go. It's just this random "What about meeeee?" approach that's kind of like walking out to the pitcher's mound in the eighth inning of a no-hitter, all, "You ever think about throwing with your other hand?" Without any alternative being offered that's worth considering, Rob tells her that, frankly, he plans to stick with his original plan. "Win immunity," he says with a smile, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I'm going to try to win immunity," she says. See, I thought he was actually relatively nice in that conversation, and showed a totally refreshing understanding of how the game is played. He makes it clear that she's going, and he tells her affectionately to go and win immunity. This is when I like Rob the most -- he plays Survivor just like you'd play Monopoly or football. You might act goofy and overly competitive at times, but ultimately, you go out and you play hard, and you assume everybody else is going to do the same. Of course, graciousness is cheap for Rob at this point, so I grant you that it would be wise not to get overly impressed. "Don't beat me, though. I need it just as much as you," he says warily as they part. Heh. Shii Ann interviews that her odds of getting much farther aren't very good, and that her best chance is to "stir it up." Feh. I hate people who take the stirring upon themselves. They usually bore me. And I never find them as stirring as they find themselves. Less stirring! More laying down and letting yourself be run over.
Shii Ann tries to put a scare in Boston Rob by telling him that she'll be shocked if he makes it to the final two using his "current strategy." Yeah, that makes sense, because it doesn't seem to be working well for him at all so far. He looks bored and inspects his fingernails, which I'm sure is not a good idea at this point unless you want to get very depressed. Shii Ann claims to hope he does well, which she doesn't.
Back in the shelter later with the rest of the soggy Chaperans, Rob tells them that Shii Ann tried to unload a heap of strategic advice on him, and that his reaction was, "Thanks for the info, Shii Ann." Heh. He also reminds them that their group strategy needs to be to keep her from winning immunity.
Today's rain-soaked treemail is written on a mask, and it suggests a reward challenge having something to do with food. Alicia interviews that they certainly hope it's a food challenge, because they can't really cook or fish in the drenching rain they've been experiencing for a while now. So they haven't had, you know, a free feast for several days, poor babies. Tom picks up the mask and holds it over his face, making "ooga-ooga" noises, to which Rob simply comments, "Dumb-ass." Hey, it's not diplomatic, but sometimes, you just have to call 'em like you see 'em.