Previously on Survivor: Boston Rob was sad that Amber was on the other tribe, so he sat on a log and stared at the ocean and hoped that Lex fell for his scam. And Lex did! So Amber lived to see another day! And Jenna -- who totally thinks she's part of the Rob/Amber alliance and so isn't -- squealed with delight. Rupert won the reward challenge, and took two fine young ladies with him to the spa. Is anyone else worried about the permanent damage these people are doing to their skin? I expect a rash of Survivor skin cancer stories in a few years. Just me, then? After the reward, the tribes merged, and Rob and Amber were reunited, and it felt so good. That is, if you believe that they are the Greatest Love of All Time, which I don't. Rob wanted to get rid of Lex, and Amber couldn't believe it, since Lex saved her ass. Rob and Kathy each got individual immunity. Kathy thought about giving her immunity to Lex, but then probably realized that it wouldn't save him for more than three days, so she kept it, and Lex was voted off. Hee! They called Lex "dumbfounded." Lex puts the "dumb" in "dumbfounded." Man, that was a long previouslies segment.
Chaboga Mogo. Night 27. Clouds pass over a full moon, and somewhere a coyote howls. Do they really have coyotes in the Pearl Islands? I guess that's a lot more atmospheric than having, say, a pelican squawk or whatever the hell a pelican does. The tribe members return from Tribal Council, having just voted Lex out, and discover that their fire has gone out, and their fire pit is now in a puddle. Since we didn't get to see a lot of the shelter-building and setting-up-camp-type activities last week in order to make room for the extended "Lex Is Screwed" remix, I have no idea whom to blame for this. So I'm just going to go ahead and blame Rupert. Especially since he says, "I knew as soon as I saw the puddle forming that our fire was going to be washed away." Oh, you did? So why didn't you say something? Or move it? HATE! Amber interviews that "Tribal" sucked, because it was rainy and cold the whole time, and she got two votes, so she's happy to still be there. I feel like Amber might have an interesting personality, and we've certainly seen more of it this season than in Australia, but it's difficult to say. If she, for example, orchestrated a coup of Rob in order to save her own ass, that would make her a lot more interesting. But it won't happen.
Alicia says that she's glad the vote is over, and wonders if Kathy is okay. They look around and see Kathy putting some lotion or something on her face. Kathy interviews that she was going to give her immunity away, but that she couldn't do it, even though she wanted to. Well, she could have done it. She didn't want to. It's not like she wasn't allowed, or someone physically restrained her from doing it. I guess she has to say whatever it takes to get her through the night. The thunder rolls, and Garth Brooks strolls by with his guitar and silly headset, singing about it. Kathy adds that she thinks Boston Rob has a soul, but that he also has a temper. Which is interesting, because Rob's vote had nothing at all to do with emotion and temper, and everything to do with strategy. Kathy adds that Amber is "playing a tough game" and "lying like a rug," so Kathy voted for "the person that has lied to my face several times." I wish I had a better memory (or better search skills) and could point out times when other people (like Lex) have lied to Kathy, too. If no one else has (which I highly doubt), then let's just pretend that they have so that we can hate Kathy some more.
Rob has a conference with Jenna, Big Tom, Alicia, and Amber, wherein he mumbles that he thinks that he would've gotten votes if he didn't have immunity. You think? Alicia says that Rob is a target, just like Lex was. Rob interviews that everything went down according to plan, and then there's a flicker of a smile, but he manages to suppress it and soldier on, saying that it was "kind of a tough vote" because "Lex is a friend," and that Lex said some "pretty personal stuff" before they went to Tribal Council. Rob adds that he understands that "when your back is against the wall, sometimes you scramble," but that Lex pushed Rob too hard. Oh, whatever. Rob knew how he was going to vote, and his conversation with Lex didn't change anything except maybe make him more sure. Let's not pretend that Lex's assy behavior had any effect on the proceedings.
Kathy recounts for Rob a conversation she had with Lex, in which she asked him if he wanted to go to the Final Four with her, Boston Rob, and Big Tom. Did they really think Rob would ditch Amber and keep Big Tom? I still don't understand what Lex's strategy was, if any. Kathy says that Lex had some arrangement with Big Tom, and that he thought Rob was part of it too, even though it had never been discussed in detail. Kathy laughs that she and Lex got angry when they realized that, post-merge, they were on the chopping block. Kathy is doing a lot of talking, and Rob is doing a lot of listening, which may be the best part of his strategy. He just lets people talk and talk and talk, and then they walk away thinking that he said something or agreed to something, when he never did. Of course, Rob also just lies. Rob interviews that he never made an alliance with Lex, and that he never even talked to Kathy. What Rob took away from the whole ordeal is the discovery that Lex and Big Tom had a super-secret side alliance. Rob sleazes, "Big Tom? Ya got caught! And your best buddy sold ya out! And he didn't even know he did it!" The sleazestache by night-vision is a frightening thing indeed.
Then there's lots and lots of thunder and lightning and rain. It's really quite spectacular, if you could somehow view it from a dry, air-conditioned area that had no chance of being struck by lightning. I wouldn't want to be living outdoors in those conditions, though. Then again, I wouldn't want to be living outdoors in any conditions. The sun also rises, and it's Day 28. Various tribe members wake up, peer out, and complain about the rain and how miserable it makes them. Big Tom interviews that the night was like a horror movie with the rain and the clouds and suchlike. Rob says that he's on his fourth day with no sleep, and one of the women comments that they're "going to start losing [their] minds a little bit." Then the genius editors cut to a shot of Rupert. Hee! Rupert interviews that their fire pit is in a lake, and that they have been too cold and wet to sleep. He pauses to cough, and then says that they hoped it would be better when they sun came up. It's not better.
It's still gray and rainy. The tribe members sit under a tarp and complain about how shitty their beach is. There is a river trickling down the hillside behind them, which reminds me of the camp in Australia that washed away. Rob says he's never seen this much rain in his life. Shii Ann interviews, "I woke up this morning feeling vulnerable and scared, and I thought to myself, 'Why am I here?'" We've all been wondering that for weeks now. Shii Ann and Jenna huddle together for warmth. Shii Ann says that she wants to see her family, and Jenna says that she wants to see her girls. They realize that they only have eleven days until they see their families. Jenna interviews that the situation is emotionally draining, since it's physically demanding and you're surrounded by relative strangers. Jenna thinks that the whole thing leads to bonding, and that the thought of going home in eleven days is keeping her going.
Jenna returns to the camp with Tree Mail. Everyone tries to figure out what the note is attached to; someone finally realizes that it's "that thing that you hang from, that goes down the line." I'm sure it has an actual name, but if you were going to go down a zip wire, you would hang from one of these items. Jenna pulls off the letter, which seems damp, and reads the traditionally stupid and non-scanning poem that concludes, "Bring the necklaces with you. It's not for reward alone." Each tribe member looks up sharply at that last part as the meaning sinks in. Jenna points out that they have a challenge today, and then Tribal Council that night. Big Tom tries to read the clue and puzzle out its meaning, and I harbor a secret theory that Big Tom is really like a college professor and the whole accent and stupidity is just a put-on. Come on. How awesome would it be if, whenever he left the show, he came back for jury duty wearing corduroys and a jacket with elbow patches, clean-shaven, holding a pipe, and spoke with a British accent or something? Let me have my fantasies. Kathy interviews that it's a combined reward/immunity challenge, and that they all thought that the immunity from the challenge would last three days. Read: She thought she was safe for three more days. Kathy concludes that she's the to go, unless she wins immunity.
The tribe members report to the challenge area, and Probst is wearing a brown shirt! Not blue! It's freaking me out a little. Probst explains that this challenge is both team and individual, as well as both reward and immunity. Was this because of all the rain? Or are they just speeding things up because everyone knows Kathy is the one going? ["I think they had to have some legs of the season last less than three days, since they started with eighteen contestants but still are only out there for thirty-nine days." -- Wing Chun] It's an obstacle course, and I have an inhuman love for obstacle courses. I'll watch anything with an obstacle course involved. Dogs doing agility trials? Yes. Battle of the Network Stars? Absolutely. So, yay! Probst reveals the reward: letters from home and rain ponchos for the four people who win the team challenge, and the individual immunity winner gets to watch a video from home. Shii Ann is already crying, as is (surprise!) Jenna. Oh, and the video watcher gets a big pitcher of hot chocolate. I would think it should go in a thermos, but whatever. Of course, the tribe members are going to be tortured by sitting through a few minutes of the videos that 7/8 of them won't get to watch. Before they get to watch, Rob and Kathy have to hand over their immunity necklaces. Probst ditches one of them, since only one person will get immunity this time around. Jenna sprints into the little pagoda where they will be watching the videos, and everyone else follows.
Probst puts the tape in and says that it's "a very short tease." It always cracks me up that the production staff has to make some sort of entertainment cart out of logs and shit, as if that's going to disguise the fact that they have sophisticated electronic equipment sitting there. Anyway, Amber's tape segment is first. Amber starts tearing up as Probst announces that her sister Nicole, her niece Emma, and her parents made her tape. Jenna is crying already. Oh, Baby Emma is super-cute. She looks like a baby bird. And sister Nicole looks like Kelly Clarkson. Rob puts his hand on Amber's back briefly, which was kind of nice. Amber's family members blow kisses to the camera. Suddenly, there are, like, three dogs in the shot as well. Amber hides her face as Probst asks if she has a tight family. Who would really answer that, "Actually, we barely speak"? Amber says that her family is worrying about her.
up is Alicia's mom, who looks really young, and is also white. And I know it's possible for a white parent to have a black child, or that Alicia could be adopted or something, but it surprised me. Mostly because she looks younger than Alicia. Alicia's mom tells Alicia to stay focused, and that she loves her. Alicia chuckles and wipes away some tears, saying that she didn't need to see that. Alicia adds that they talk every day, and that she knows her mother misses her, because they are best friends.
Tom's tape is up . Probst says that it was made by Tom's son, Bucky Bo (or Beau) and Tom's wife, Sandy. Hee! Bucky Bo. Bucky Bo talks exactly like Big Tom. Sandy, however, doesn't have the accent. And she's pretty. Big Tom waves at the screen. They can't see you, dude. ["Shouldn't that be 'They can't see you, PROFESSOR'?" -- Wing Chun] Everyone laughs and looks at Big Tom, who laughs and says that the "old chick" is "looking pretty good!" How flattering for his wife. Probst goes all Melfi on us and says that he doesn't buy that Tom's not a little emotional. Big Tom says that Bo is one of his best friends, and that his wife has been with him for twenty-five years. He concludes that he has a "pretty good family."
Probst says that the tape is unusual, and they wouldn't expect any less from a relative of Boston Rob. But can it top the tape Greg's weird sister made? Rob starts laughing and looks embarrassed already. The tape starts, and a guy in a giant Gap sweatshirt who either has really large teeth or is wearing fake novelty teeth starts rapping. Rob laughs and everyone else just looks uncomfortable. Rob explains that his brother was imitating Don King. Oh. Oh, dear. Rob adds that he misses his brother, and that his brother has always been there. To supply Don King impressions in times of need? What a valuable service. Everyone kind of sniffles. Aren't they sick of crying?
Probst tells Shii Ann that it's her turn. Her parents appear on the tape, holding a giant cat. Shii Ann's mother talks to Shii Ann in the cat's voice, which my mom would totally do. Shii Ann cries and clutches Kathy's hand. Probst asks if this is motivating, and Shii Ann says it makes her "energized." Well, that's a first. Shii Ann says that her parents will be shocked that she got as far as she did. They won't be first in that line.
Kathy's son, Patrick, got to visit her at camp last time around, Probst reminds us. On the tape, Patrick pretends he was in the middle of reading a book and got interrupted by the camera. Why does his tape need a schtick? Shut up, Patrick. He wishes his mother luck and asks her to bring him home the million. Kathy laughs and jokes that her son is "not too focused on the almighty buck." Kathy sobs that her son is funny and good and great. Rob, whose heart is two sizes too small, actually swallows hard, as if he might be...crying?
Oh, God. Rupert is up . I can't take much more of his baby talk. It's fucking baby talk. Who talks like that? Probst says that they've heard a lot about Rupert's wife and daughter, and starts the tape. Aw, Rupert's daughter is cute. It's not her fault her father's kind of a dillweed. Rupert simultaneously laughs and cries. Someone says that Rupert's wife is beautiful, which she is. Surprisingly so. Rupert growls that he knows his family is worried about him, and that he told them he wouldn't leave, but then he did. Oh, save it for your A&E Biography.
Probst makes a big production about how, last time, Jenna's tape didn't get sent in on time before revealing that, this time, she does have a tape. He turns on the tape to reveal Jenna's daughters, Sadie and Sabrina. They cheer that they love and miss her, and one of them uses sign language. Jenna signs back. Again, it's not a webchat. They can't see you. The girls blow kisses and wave to the camera, as Jenna sobs. Probst comments that the girls are cute. Jenna babbles that Sabrina used sign language, and dissolves into tears again. Probst says that all the tribe members had a lot of love for their family and friends, and now it's time for the challenge.
Probst explains that they will be divided into two teams of four members each to compete on the obstacle course. The first phase involves busting through "a maze of jungle timber." Then, they have to go across a balance beam, under a belly crawl, climb a ten-foot wall, and then navigate the "blown bridge" puzzle, where they have to use planks to travel from one stump to the . Finally, they have to scale a wooden ladder and walk across a rope bridge. Three team members wait in a "jail cell" under the platform and dig up a tribe flag, while the remaining team member zip wires down to get a key to set everyone free. The entire team will then race for the finish line. Probst explains that the first team across the finish line wins the rain ponchos and letters, and then the members of that foursome will compete against each other in a different challenge for immunity. The tribe members scoff, because this whole explanation took, like, twenty minutes. Complex! They pick teams.
The teams have been selected by Alicia and Rupert, and they are: Alicia, Rob, Amber, and Shii Ann versus Rupert, Jenna, Kathy, and Big Tom. It would have been interesting to see who got chosen in what order, but that would have taken time away from the sobfest earlier, so we don't get to see it. The teams take off, and Big Tom just plows through the maze like a bull. Rob has more finesse, but he's also faster. Alicia's team makes it across the balance beam with a slight lead, mostly thanks to Rupert's ungainliness. Alicia's team is already to the wall while Rupert's team is just starting the belly crawl. Rupert pulls Big Tom through the belly crawl, probably regretting that choice. Why would you pick Big Tom for anything that required agility? Then again, it's Rupert, and he probably made his choices based on whom he likes and doesn't like. Rupert's team hits the wall, while Alicia's team is already doing the blown-bridge puzzle. Rob directs his team members across while Big Tom and Rupert pull Jenna up the wall, and she looks like she's flying. Alicia's team gets to the end of the puzzle, but their remaining plank isn't long enough to reach either of the nearby platforms. Probst encourages Rupert's team to keep working, since Rob hasn't figured out the puzzle yet. Rob and his team (and they actually do appear to be helping, even Shii Ann) realize that they need to set a plank on another plank in T-formation to make it across. So now Rupert's team can just copy them, which always bothers me about puzzle missions. They shouldn't be allowed to see what the other team does!
Alicia's team heads to the platforms with rope bridges, and is nearly across before Rupert's team even gets to the first platform. Rob goes last for his team and dances across the rope. Was this challenge, which involved a great deal of balancing and agility, created for Rob's team to win? Who knows? All I know is that it was dumb to put Rupert and Big Tom on the same team. Shii Ann, Alicia, and Amber head down to their jail cell and start digging for the flag. Rupert and his team members make it across the rope bridge, and Jenna stays up top while the others start digging for the flag. Alicia's team finds the flag first, and Rob zips down the line to retrieve the key. He takes a leap off the platform, and swings his body in the air to gain momentum and make the trip as quickly as possible. He grabs the key, just as Rupert's team finds their flag. Jenna just kind of hops off the platform, so she doesn't go nearly as quickly down the line as Rob did. Rob gets his team unlocked while Jenna is still running back to rescue her team, and Alicia's team wins the reward. I really do love obstacle courses, but I think I like them better when it's two people going head-to-head. The team thing got a little confusing.
And now it's time for the immunity challenge. The four contestants (Alicia, Shii Ann, Amber, and Rob) stand in front of giant sliding puzzles, of the kind you used to do in grammar school where you had to slide the pieces around and get the numbers in the correct order or form a picture or whatever. In this case, they have to maneuver the largest piece of the puzzle, which contains a knife, into the bottom center of the board. ["We've seen this before." -- Wing Chun] This will allow them to slide that piece out, and use the knife to cut a rope, which will raise a flag. The first tribe member with his or her flag raised wins immunity, as well as time to drink hot chocolate and watch a video from home. They uncover their puzzles, and start mixing them up on Jeff's signal. It's not that exciting to watch, although the music makes it seem as though it is. Shii Ann, who is supposed to be so great at puzzles, sneers when Probst says that Rob is close to being finished. Rob does, in fact, finish first, and he urges his flag to go up faster, which I found kind of amusing. He finishes by stabbing the knife into the table, much like he has stabbed so many people in the back, which I also find amusing. Probst adds that he's not sure anyone wants to see the video of Rob's brother, and Rob cheers. Shii Ann looks pissed, because she has been outed as completely useless at every possible task. Amber and Alicia hug Rob, and Kathy does a slow clap.
The tribe members reassemble in the pagoda, and Probst pours everyone a cup of hot chocolate, mentioning that Rob was nice enough to share with everybody. Like he's really going to hoard it, especially when people hate him right now. They toast to their tribe, and to family and friends. Rupert looks like he wants to kill someone. It's freaking me out. His eyes are all red, and he keeps glancing at the pile of letters from home. Rob announces that he has a proposition. He shakily says that his brother will kill him, but that there's some bad blood in their tribe right now, so he is willing to give up watching his video if everyone can get their letter from home, instead of just the winning team members. Jenna gasps and starts crying, and she really needs to get a handle on her emotions if she wants to make it any further in the game. Jeff tries to keep from laughing out loud at this naked display of strategy as Rob says he thinks it's the right thing to do. Jeff shakes his head and says it's a great offer. I really, really, really wanted him to say no, just because it seems kind of unfair, but instead he says he can make that trade. Jenna hugs Rob, and everyone laughs and chatters. Rupert and Big Tom shake Rob's hand. Oh, the big hero. Please. Rob says that everyone would have done the same thing, which they totally wouldn't have, because they're not smart enough to think of it, but whatever.
Probst hands out the letters, and the members of the winning team also get rain ponchos. Rob yells, "I forgot about the ponchos!" Probst makes sure that everyone remembers that the losing team members are only getting their letters thanks to "the generosity of Boston Rob." Kathy calls out a thank-you, but no one else does. Probst tells them to head back to camp and find a private spot (with a cameraman) to read their letters, because then the game will be back on. As if Rob's offer has nothing to do with the game. I mean, I admire the strategy, and I'm sure it didn't hurt that he could do something nice for once AND help his standing in the game, but it was total strategy. Probst reminds them that they have Tribal Council tonight, and that Rob has immunity, before sending them on their way.
The tribe members walk back to camp and discuss how excited they are to read their letters. I would totally be reading it while walking. Shii Ann interviews that Rob gave up his tape so that everyone could read their letters, and "that was really big of him and it showed a strength of character that [she] hadn't realized about Rob Mariano." Isn't she supposed to be smart? Maybe she'll transfer her crush on Richard Hatch to Boston Rob. Rupert reads his letter, which is written on tie-dyed paper. He reads a bit about how his wife thinks that he's "the strongest man," but then he breaks up and can't go on. Later, Rupert interviews that it's "uplifting," and that he likes that "[his] wife and daughter think that [he's] the toughest, baddest, son of a bitch out there." And then he self-deprecatingly adds, "Even though I'm not." Ugh! HATE! That encapsulates why I hate Rupert. That little self-deprecating tag reminding us that he only acts tough. Rupert says that he'll read his letter a thousand times in the eleven days. Well, it's not like he has other reading material. I don't think they deliver People to the Pearl Islands.
A pelican lands in the water as we fade up on Jenna reading her letter and crying. She interviews that she got a letter from her parents, and that her dad said he's never known a stronger person. Than Jenna? He must not know many people. Crabs scuttle through the surf as we head over to see how Shii Ann is doing with her letter. Surprise! She's crying, too! She interviews that the letters remind her of her real friends and her family, and that her friendships on the island aren't the same. Alicia, all decked out in her new rain poncho, reads her letter. Amber reads hers and smiles. Shii Ann interviews that what Rob did "was a generous move, but it was also a strategic move." Thank you! I'm glad they realized that. Shii Ann concludes that "giving up his brother's video tape for letters from home may win him a million dollars." Well, not if everyone realizes that's why he did it.
Rob sits on a giant rock overlooking the water and reads his letter. He has his hat pulled down low to cover the fact that he's crying like a bitch. He interviews that he doesn't remember "the last time [he] was emotional about anything, ev-ah!" He feels bad that his brother made the tape for nothing, but this way, everybody won. Rob adds, "And I know it's gonna get perceived one way or the other. It's inevitable. It wasn't about me. It wasn't about strategy. It was about strategy to a degree. It's a good move. Yeah, it is." Hee! He interrupted himself to admit the truth. I admire that. He concludes that his family is the most important thing in the world, more important than money. Then he laughs and says, "But I'm still getting the million." I know that turned some people off (well, those who don't already hate Rob), but I thought it was a joke he made to lighten the moment, since he was all weepy and shit. I don't know. It made me laugh. The music is all sad and majestic as we fade out.
At Chaboga Mogo, it's still Day 28. Man, I can't believe this whole episode took place on one day. Kathy tells Rob she's not upset, but that she was upset about violating a friendship. Wuh? I don't know. Rob protests that emotion is in the game now, and Kathy says that it was personal. Rob says that when he got Lex to save Amber, he didn't know for sure that there would even be a merge. Kathy says that it's over, and that she and Rob are fine. Rob interviews that he was trying to be nice to Kathy, and that while he knows she's playing the game, he has no idea how the vote will go tonight.
Kathy and Shii Ann walk into the woods to get water. Kathy says she doesn't know who's going , but that it might be Shii Ann. Shii Ann says it could be, but that it might not be. Well, way to hedge your bets there. Shii Ann interviews that tonight's vote will go toward one of the original Mogo Mogo members: "Kathy and I [sic]." Man, she is looking increasingly dumb the longer she sticks around. She should be glad she left her season fairly early. I actually still sort of liked her then. Kathy gets the water as Shii Ann helps by...doing nothing. Kathy says that Rob is "trying to clean up his reputation." Shii Ann says that the thing with the letters was generous, but also a smart strategic move. Kathy interviews that while Rob might have wanted them to have their letters, higher on his list of priorities was getting people to like him after the "anger and anguish" from the day. Kathy says what we are all thinking: "If these guys were smart, man, somebody would take him out." Shii Ann says that they will, once he loses immunity. Kathy says that Jenna thinks she's going to the final three, and Shii Ann is sure Jenna is wrong. Shii Ann says something about Big Tom, and Kathy says that Tom knows Rob and Amber won't take him to the final three. Who will they take, if they make it that far? I'm guessing someone who's weak at challenges, so that Rob or Amber will win the final one. Maybe Jenna? Kathy thinks it's time to get Jenna, Rob, and Amber out of power.
Rob and Amber sit in the shelter with blankets wrapped around themselves. Kathy and Big Tom take a walk down the beach together. Kathy interviews that maybe she can help the other players realize that she could be used as a swing vote, and that they should disrupt the power now instead of waiting until there are only seven people left. Kathy tells Big Tom that he needs to take action and stop "flaking around." Big Tom says he will. Kathy repeats that he should do it now, because it will be more difficult when they get down to five. Big Tom thinks they should cut Jenna out. Why Jenna? Get rid of Amber and Rob's power is gone! Hello? She's the one who would be least likely ever to vote against him. Duh. Kathy doesn't want Jenna to win, and Big Tom promises that she won't. In the shelter, Rob tells Amber and Jenna that there's a lot of shit going on right now, and that he hopes that the others try something, because his alliance is going to make it to the end. He doesn't elaborate on how that's going to happen, so we shall see.
Shii Ann talks to Alicia and says that it's not about friendship, and that this is a game. Alicia says that Jenna and Rupert were part of her tribe, but that they still can't trust them, because Jenna plays favorites. Shii Ann says that they asked her to vote Alicia out on her first day there. Did they? Alicia acts like she's not surprised to hear that, but she totally is.
Kathy tells Rupert that "the key times to mix it up are at seven and five," and to make sure he knows what's going on. ["And Kathy would know, because she's totally won this game before, not. Shut up, Kathy." -- Wing Chun] Rupert nods like he has any idea what's going on. Rob giggles in an interview that there is "some last-minute scrambling going on," and that Kathy and Shii Ann will probably go after Amber or Jenna. Shii Ann and Big Tom eat rice together. Shii Ann wonders if there's something that could be done that would make sense. Big Tom just agrees with her, but doesn't offer up any suggestions because, he explains, he's had an alliance with Rob and Amber the whole time. Shii Ann asks whether Big Tom really thinks they'll take him to the final three. Big Tom kind of chuckles and says that he'd be a fool to sit there and not do anything. Big Tom interviews that he's been sticking with his original deal, but that when everything is going too well, you have to look out before it falls apart. Big Tom promises tol weigh his options.
Amber and Rob are still sitting in the shelter, watching the peons run around on the beach trying to come up with a plan. Usually, I would take their confidence as a sign that they are headed for a fall, but I think that if it happens, it won't happen in the two episodes. Also, Rob has been shown as extremely cocky, but also sort of endearing, and Amber hasn't really been shown as cocky at all, so it's possible Mark Burnett isn't trying to set them up as the villains. Rob calls Alicia over and asks what she discussed with Shii Ann earlier. Alicia says that Shii Ann has been talking to Big Tom a lot, and that Alicia doesn't trust anyone right now. Alicia adds that she and Jenna don't get along, and that she feels that she may be the one targeted tonight. Rob interviews that Kathy and Shii Ann are "implanting bad thoughts" into Alicia and Big Tom, and they seem to be buying it. Rob adds that he knows it would only take one of them (Alicia or Big Tom) to convince the other, and that his whole scheme would fall apart. I don't know why Kathy didn't go after Rupert and appeal to his sense of fair play, and argue that Rob screwed Lex over. Then again, Rupert loves him some Jenna, so I don't know if that would work.
Speaking of Jenna and Rupert, they sit together and watch the proceedings. Jenna points out that Kathy, Shii Ann, and Big Tom are spending a lot of time talking. Jenna thinks Big Tom must be giving Kathy an indication that he agrees with her, or they wouldn't have so much to talk about. Jenna says that Alicia is acting weird too, and Jenna is worried that she'll be targeted. Jenna interviews that Alicia and Big Tom are the weak links in the alliance, because no one has tried to draw them into the alliance of Amber, Rob, Rupert, and Jenna. Heh. That's what Jenna thinks. Little does she know that Rob has a side deal with Alicia. Jenna concludes that Alicia and Big Tom might be switching, which is what burned her in the first game, so she might be burned again.
Tribal Council. Once everyone is seated, Probst announces Lex, the first member of the jury. Oh, God. Lex gave himself a Mohawk. What a douche. He should go marry Frankie from The Real World San Diego and have little alterna-babies. Lex just sits there all smug and pissed-off. Jeff points out to Kathy that this has been an odd season, because it has been really catty, but then there have also been strong friendships and bonds formed. Kathy says that she's been having a hard time figuring out when to play the game and when to back off. I'll give her a hint: you start playing the game the moment you arrive, and you don't back off until you're voted off or you win the million. Jeff asks Big Tom if he'll have a hard time voting off friends. Big Tom says, "Numa wumma spangle." Oh, come on. It was a dumb question. Do you really care about the answer? Fine. Tom wants to win with class. Jeff asks Rob how to win the game with class. Rob says that this game is a little different, because real friendships were formed before the game even started, back in the States. Lex is all smirky. Fuck off, Lex. And fuck off, Lex's smirk. And fuck off, Lex's stupid Mohawk. Rob says that he's struggled with those issues, and asks Jeff to define "class."
Jeff doesn't take the challenge, and instead asks Shii Ann what she is doing that should keep her in the game. Thank you! Shii Ann says that she is in the minority, having started out in Mogo Mogo, so she knows that she's a target. And also, she's useless. Though she doesn't mention that part. Shii Ann thinks that people will need to start figuring out whom they can beat in the finals. Shii Ann condescendingly says, "If all this talk about alliance here tonight is true, which I doubt, then I'm the to go, and I've played as many cards as I can, but you know, it's not the end for me yet. I may still win immunity." Yeah, because she's really shown strength in challenges thus far, by sitting them out. Jeff asks Kathy why she's voting the way that she's voting tonight. Kathy says she's voting for the person who lied to her, not that lying shouldn't happen in the game, but Kathy didn't like how the lying happened. Kathy lectures everyone about how the game will change when it gets down to seven people, because people will be rethinking strategies, and with fewer players, they will have less options. I wish Amber or Big Tom, who were the sixth and fourth player remaining in their seasons respectively, would tell Kathy to fuck off with the condescending advice. Oh, she made it one whole step further than Big Tom. Big deal. Kathy thinks that alliances should have shifted while Lex was still there. Lex gives a big smile. Finally, Aunt Kathy's advice segment is over, and the voting begins.
Shii Ann and Big Tom vote. Lex gives Amber the sanctimonious stink-eye as she walks by. You know, I even liked Lex after he went batshit crazy in Africa. I liked him for the first few episodes of this season. But either I'm fickle (probably) or he really turned into a self-righteous prick. Also, I miss the old days of Survivor, in the first season, where you could usually tell someone's vote because they showed them beginning to write the first letter. Kathy votes for Amber, saying that Amber needs to play a new game, or else she's not going to make it. Thanks for the advice, person who's about to leave. Oh, was that a spoiler? Rob votes for Kathy and says, "I don't discredit you for trying, but you didn't honestly think I was going to let you win." People were annoyed by that remark too, but come on. It's totally in keeping with his whole Robfather persona. Lex also gives Rob the stink-eye as he returns from voting, like, way to go with your powerful stink-eye, Lex. Grow up.
Jeff tallies the votes. He returns and reads them: Amber, Kathy, Amber. Amber actually looks worried. Jeff continues: Kathy, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy. Bye, Kathy! I guess all your brilliant strategizing and advice didn't work out all that well, did it? It's kind of difficult to expect other people to take your word on how to play the game when they know you are leaving that night anyway. ["And also when they know you've never won." -- Wing Chun] Kathy tells everyone to keep their eye on the million bucks, like that's not what they were doing by voting her out. She hugs Shii Ann, who has to be thinking, "Crap." Probst snuffs Kathy's torch and she walks out, and Shii Ann cries with her shiny, shiny face. Probst says that they seem like a different tribe than the one at the tribal council, and that there is "a whole lot of game left." I hope so, because this is getting boring. Well, even if Shii Ann goes week, then it might get sort of interesting.
In the final speech, Kathy says that she can't believe she got voted off, and that she shouldn't have trusted Rob to come through. She actually thought Rob would save her? That's a bit of strategizing we didn't really see. Anyway, Kathy also feels that she got robbed last time, and thought that meant that she should win this time. Whatever.