Previously on Survivor, the Jackée tribe finally figured out what the rest of us have known all season: Matthew is a serial killer. Sadly, HeiDDi didn't find out the hard way. Rob Base(ment) pretended to want Davey Rockett to leave because he was a threat and not because the ladies liked him better. Deena and Davey Rockett took separate baths and peeked at each other around a curtain, while Davey Rockett grinned at her adorably. Davey Rockett, by the way, did nearly everything adorably. Jenna did nothing to earn immunity, but she won it anyway, and then Davey Rockett got unanimously voted out. Eight remain. Who will be voted out tonight?
It's dawnish on Day 25 at Jackée. Rob Base(ment) paces while Matthew works on the fire and Jenna scratches herself in her sleep. In a night vision shot, Rob Base(ment) whispers that he has something to talk to Matthew about: he's "privy" to information about "some females with this tribe" who are unhappy with Deena's "leadership role." Okay. Last week with the "in cahoots," and this week with the "privy"? Is he 24 or 240? In a confessional, he tells us, "Every morning I give Matt a debriefing of the wild goose chases I want him to work on for the day just to keep his mind busy so he doesn't really have any chance to figure out what's actually going on." During this statement, we see shots of a wide-eyed Matthew nodding, grinning, and appearing to completely buy everything Rob Base(ment) says. Rob Base(ment) whispers, "This is very highly confidential," as Bond-style music begins playing in the background. Hee. He tells Matt that Deena has been warning the women that Matt is the biggest threat, to which Matt responds that everyone has thought he was the biggest threat since the second day. The music escalates, suggesting that someone with a sense of humor evolved beyond "potty" has infiltrated the Survivor production team. Rob, who is wearing his buff Aunt Jemima-style, explains that he's been "filling Matt's head with a lot of crazy stuff," including that the men are going to ally to vote off all the women, but they need Butch's help to do so. He concludes, "So Matt is off on a bunch of wild goose chases." Matt then tells Rob Base(ment) that he trusts him most of everyone in the tribe, followed by Butch, because he's a "really good guy," but Rob Base(ment) informs him that Butch is on a "need-to-know basis." Their discussion finished, Rob Base(ment) tells Matt that they should return to camp before anyone misses them. As Rob Base(ment) heads off, Matthew says, "You go that way and I'll go…the other way." Hee.
The Bond music funks out with a techno beat as we join the fishing Matt and Butch. Matt suddenly announces, "We're gonna be…we're gonna be a chain." Confused, Butch asks, "A what?" and Matt explains, "A chain. Like a chain link?" In a confessional, he again insists, "It's a chain," and brags that he's Butch's link to what's happening in the game: he'll decide when they speak, and will "initiate all communications," as well as decide how much information Butch gets. To his credit, he doesn't use the word "privy." He proudly concludes, "I'm his lifeline." Back in the fishing boat, Matthew tells Butch that their conversations don't exist and they don't talk about anything. Butch parrots, "We don't talk about anything," and "You initiate all communication." He then tells us in a confessional that it's "like a chain," and then gives some convoluted explanation of a "big four together," and being a link, and broken pieces, and jumping up a spot. Do you think it's like a chain? Because I personally think it can best be described as a chain. But maybe that's just me, thinking it's like a chain. More spy music plays as Matthew silences Butch with, "That's it. No more talk." As if Butch ever really needs silencing.
Back at Jackée, Rob Base(ment) regales the rest of the tribe members with tales of his puppetry. He mocks that when he tells Matt what to do, Matt immediately goes and tells Butch, laughingly saying, "Butch is like [Matthew's] operative." He imitates Matt with, "I told Butch. I said, 'Butch, you're on a need-to-know basis." The tribe collectively snickers, sounding remarkably like Beavis and Butthead. Or in HeiDDi's case, Breasthead. In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that the tribe wants to vote Matthew off because "we think he's mentally unstable, and we're afraid that he may kill us." He explains that at this point, they're just trying to keep Matthew from knowing he's in line. As we rejoin the group, Jenna earnestly urges, "We need to be cautious that he does not feel threatened…or he does not feel like he needs to kill any of us." Hee. Rob Base(ment) asks, "Is Matthew a physical threat? Yeah. To my safety!" Snicker, snicker, snicker.
On a treemail check with Rob Base(ment), Christy and Deena enthusiastically "Oh, no!" over the sight of a dartboard. Rob Base(ment) reads the clue aloud: "Practice, practice, practice. Don't compete in haste. Smell the aroma of victory. Get Brazil's most famous taste." Rob Base(ment) speculates that it might be coffee, as opposed to the other obvious possibility: cocaine. Deena agrees with him because of the "aroma" part, and I think they've all been watching too many Taster's Choice commercials. Rob Base(ment) thinks Matthew will win, while Deena thinks it will be Alex. Meanwhile, Christy is in the background, muttering the clue to herself. As the three head back to camp bearing the dartboard and weapons, Rob Base(ment) announces, "I don't know how good of an idea this is -- to give us a bow and arrow." Aside from the fact that Matthew's a likely serial killer, sharp objects put HeiDDi in serious danger of deflating.
HeiDDi lollingly stares as Deena announces that they have bows and arrows, to which an unidentifiable male member responds, "Nice little orgasm." Just don't ask me what that means. In a confessional, Matthew tells us that each member of the tribe tried the various weapons, taking shots with the arrows, throws with the spears, and blowing a couple darts. This is accompanied by shots of each of them testing the weapons, including a big whiff by Rob Base(ment) and a raised eyebrow from Alex. A raised eyebrow from Alex, incidentally, is the equivalent of emailing in all caps. Surprisingly, they all look fairly decent at the weapon-wielding except for HeiDDi, who would have a chance at winning this challenge, but only if it tested their abilities to throw things sideways and into bushes. Rob Base(ment) tells us in a confessional that the only spears he knew coming into the game were "Britney and broccoli and asparagus." We then see HeiDDi fiddling with the blowdart, asking Rob Base(ment), "Do I need to, like, totally put my mouth around it?" Rob, who has fantasized his entire life about a woman saying that to him, gleefully responds, "Yeah, I think so." Meanwhile, Matthew continues to take successful shot after successful shot, and Rob Base(ment) tells him he's likely to win. Matthew doesn't think it's got to go down like that, and asks Rob Base(ment) what he thinks. Rob Base(ment) responds that if he were in Matt's situation, he'd be thinking the same way. This conversation doesn't make much sense until Rob Base(ment) explains in a confessional that Matthew approached him, claiming that he wouldn't try his hardest because he didn't want people to think of him as a physical threat, to which Rob Base(ment) responded, "Matt! I think you're finally starting to understand this game!" We rejoin their conversation as Matt proudly exclaims, "Dude! I'm learning, man!" Rob Base(ment) jabs himself with the pitchfork-like spear, and Matt is very concerned for his safety. After all, it's no fun if your victims accidentally kill themselves before you get to them!
Peachy welcomes the members of Jackée to the challenge, which he announces will test their proficiency using three weapons indigenous to the Amazon. In the first round, all eight competitors will shoot blow darts. The four tribe members with the highest scores will advance to the second round, during which they will throw spears. This challenge would be so much more entertaining if it actually was a Britney-Spears-throwing contest. Or, for that matter, a broccoli-throwing contest. The top two finishers will move onto the final round -- bows and arrows. Peachy preaches that "one of the things that Brazil is known for is its coffee," and reveals that a "Survivor coffee bar" has been constructed for the winner. He then brings out a cup of coffee and a croissant for them to share, giving it to HeiDDi with the comment, "You take it and figure out what to do with it." Because HeiDDi can't figure out what to do with a cup of coffee and a croissant.
They draw straws to determine their order, and Peachy zealously advises them to "Shoot your blow darts!" Christy goes first, and scores three points by landing in the green zone of the dartboard.
Matthew is , and takes his time before narrowing his eyes and scoring a perfect bull's-eye, worth ten points.
Peachy narrates that Butch "loses the glasses," as he readies himself to shoot. He scores five points and stares down the dartboard. He's believing in himself! He's believing in himself!
Rob Base(ment), who has really bad posture, heads to take his turn as Peachy announces, "Rob, you look like you're gonna be good at this!" The other members of the tribe alternatively laugh and put their heads in their hands. Rob Base(ment) ties Christy with three points, and plays slappy hands with his lined-up tribe afterwards.
Matthew coaches Alex with, "Nice and slow, dude." Alex scores in the red zone for seven points. Butch congratulates him with a "Good job," but is not entirely convincing in his delivery.
Jenna gets three points as well, and why does no one suck at this?
Cocky Deena is , and ties Butch with five points. With only HeiDDi left to go, Matt is in first place with ten points, followed by Alex with seven, and Butch and Deena tied with five. Jenna, Christy, and Rob Base(ment) are out of the competition.
As HeiDDi prepares for her turn, Peachy goads her with, "Gonna take five to keep you alive." Evidently, she thinks there's a twenty-pointer hidden away in the underbrush, because that's where her arrow lands after barely taking flight. Peachy further disses her with, "That's not a five." Not satisfied that she's been sufficiently mocked, he adds, "Zippo!" Hee. Even Peachy hates HeiDDi.
As it turns out, the reason they're all so successful at this challenge is because they're standing about two and a half feet from the target.
With the first round completed, Matthew, Alex, Butch, and Deena advance to the spear-throwing competition. Matthew is up first this time, and scores a near bull's-eye, causing Peachy to announce, "That's gonna be tough to beat!"
Apparently Deena has taken both comportment and spear-throwing lessons from HeiDDi -- she waggles her tongue and then totally whiffs. Jenna and Rob Base(ment) unenthusiastically clap, and Jenna congratulates her with, "You made it this far." Deena's not down with the hand-slappiness, and totally disses Alex's extended hand.
Butch is , and scores in the green. It's not a particularly good shot, but it's good enough for now. Peachy concludes, "That'll work."
In order to make it to the finals, Alex has to be inside the green. He zips a sideways shot just inside the red, causing Jenna to bust out with a big "yeah, baby!" She then rises from her seat and shoulders her little purse, looking more like a sorority girl walking into the mall than a Survivor competitor.
Now comes the real challenge: the two men are actually not an arm's-length distance from the target. Instead, they take their shots from a tower. Matthew looks perplexed after scoring in the outer green. After all, he's an experienced bow-and-arrow shooter -- that's how he gets his victims. In the loser line-up, Rob Base(ment) tells Jenna, "This guy is a nincompoop!" Actually, we're supposed to think Rob Base(ment) tells Jenna this, but after repeated viewings, I think this was carefully edited in from a confessional. ["Also…'nincompoop'? What is this, the touring production of Mr. Belvedere?" -- Sars]
Alex bests Matthew by landing in the yellow and steals Davey Rockett's "booyah!" Everyone applauds as Peachy exclaims, "Alex is drinkin' coffee!" Matthew congratulates Alex about six and a half times, including with the requisite fistbop. Peachy points out that one of the best things about being in a coffee bar is "hangin' out with somebody," and Alex agrees with an "absolutely!" before immediately selecting Jenna. She and her little purse run over and hug Alex as Peachy dismisses the others back to camp. As Alex and Jenna embrace, Christy sneaks a wary slow-motion look at Matthew, while HeiDDi wonders how her breasts weren't picked to accompany Alex.
What's the deal with Holes? I mean, the whole "the book is now the movie" advertising campaign? Maybe they should have led with "the book is now the book" first.
We scan the landscape, including some nearly submerged trees, as Peachy leads Alex and Jenna through the jungle, rounding a corner and announcing, "Let me present to you -- your home for the several hours…the Amazon Café!" They both suitably exclaim as we see multiple shots of plates piled high with various muffins, cookies, and pastries; about sixteen cups; and a chalkboard menu of coffee drinks. In a confessional, Alex enthuses over the "awesome, cool structure" in the jungle, telling us they "had a blast." They pour iced coffee into glass, and Peachy joins them for a toast celebrating their twenty-five-day survival. We see hands grubbing for a jar of beans, followed by the requisite face-stuffing and groaning shots. Alex giggles over a large donut, while Jenna nibbles at a small one. She toasts his victory, claiming that she couldn't have picked a better person with whom to spend the afternoon. In a confessional, she explains that she really likes Alex and it was nice to spend time with him. She unconvincingly adds, "I was excited because I love to eat," and tells us that she and Alex are "bottomless pits." We pan away to sit them sitting on stools in the café, while Jenna insists that she's "so thankful." Gratitude? Who knew she had it in her?
Back at Jackée, Rob Base(ment) throws out a fishing net and manages to catch a small bush as Deena yells, "Catch something, would you?" before announcing that she's in the mood to do "absolutely frigging-ass nothing!" In a confessional, she tells us that the rewards are good because they often involve food, but they also reveal who's in it to win it. She points out that those same people are "unfortunately" set up in a bad position "a la Alex." She pronounces the "a la" like she's sucking on marbles. The French is really hard! She explains that Alex emerged from the challenge as the dominant competitor, and his strength frightened her. Deena asks Christy, Rob Base(ment), and HeiDDi if it's important for them to advance in the game, and HeiDDi responds, "Totally, with all my heart." Deena questions how well they'll be able to advance with both Matthew and Alex remaining, causing Rob Base(ment) to look uncomfortable with the conversation's direction, and HeiDDi to whisperingly insist, "Matt's not in the picture!" Deena slowtalks that she understands that, and points out the possibility of Matt winning the immunity challenge. HeiDDi sticks her tongue out in response. , Deena asks who HeiDDi thinks she has a better chance against in the finals, Alex or Butch, and HeiDDi immediately responds with Butch. Deena concludes that if Matthew wins the immunity, Alex has to go.
We return to the Amazon Café, where Alex serves a cup of cappuccino to Jenna, who asks, "Any special way to drink this?" She's never drank--or seen someone drink, for that matter-- a cappuccino before? She plans to "get amped," and Alex giggles that they're going to be "zinging out of [their] heads." He's very dorky for a thirty-two-year-old man. As they continue their carbo-loading, Alex marvels over how they can just sit together and hang out without worrying about being overheard. Jenna agrees that it's nice to have a conversation "without having to run away." She continues that she never expected to meet such cool people in the game, and Alex adds that their foursome is a lot of fun. Jenna thinks it's "funny" that "us four -- we're like…the bonding crew." Alex mentions Deena, and Jenna quickly jumps in with, "I don't know where Deena's at anymore!" Alex doesn't either, as Jenna continues that although she's known Deena since the first day, she think it might be hard for her because "she doesn't have…the same…like…she's very strict." Alex marvels that Deena is only three years older than he is, and Jenna responds, "But it seems like an eternity," which was much funnier to me the first time I heard it when I thought she said, "But she seems like an attorney." Jenna and Alex complain that Deena is always thinking of another angle or plot in the game.
Back at camp, Deena is doing exactly that. She continues telling Rob Base(ment), HeiDDi, and Christy that they all have a chance against each other, but not against Alex, so their best move is to get rid of the "equal powerhouse." Rob Base(ment) looks amused, and then in a confessional Aunt Jemimas that he has a secret alliance with Deena, and none of the other players are aware that they have been working so closely together. Rob Base(ment) asks Deena if Jenna would have a problem voting out Alex, and Deena quickly responds that Jenna isn't an issue because, she says, "I just need to finesse that." She informs that others that she'll let them know when it's time to deal with Jenna. Rob Base(ment) continues his confessional by telling us it's settled: if Matthew wins immunity, Alex has to go. We see Rob Base(ment) fishing again, as he debates whether he just got a fish or his line got caught or something. The camera pans up to show the line clearly stuck in a tree.
In a confessional, Deena explains that she and Rob Base(ment) are in control of the game. She then clarifies her statement to say that actually she's in control of the game. She brags that she always has a backup plan for her backup plan, but thinking so much makes her head hurt. The camera pans over to a dazed-looking HeiDDi, who mumbles, "This is getting so interesting."
We return to the Amazon Café, where Jenna is full and Alex is not planning on eating manioc any time soon. Jenna voice-overs that she drank four iced coffees and a cappuccino, and Alex had the same plus another iced coffee. She tells us they were "buzzin'" as we see a shot of Alex slurping up some more coffee. The editors then employ the rarely used fast-motion shots to zip the two back to camp.
Rob Base(ment) digs around in the manioc bin, and requests that they make a lot of it. As Jenna and Alex walk very slowly back to camp, Alex heralds that they have an "announcement." He volunteers to take the two fire watches, because they won't be sleeping any time soon due to all the coffee they had. Rob Base(ment) snits, "Yadda, yadda, yadda," as Alex goes on gesticulating effeminately and ordering them all to take a seat, which a disgruntled HeiDDi does. Alex reveals a plate of cookies that could better be described as a plate of crumbs, and tells the group that there are two cookies for each of them because it was all they could manage. He repeats that he wanted to make sure there was something for everyone. As the tribe digs in, Alex proudly says, "Enjoy them. Enjoy them, my friend." In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that the tribe very much appreciated the cookies. He adds, "But Matt and Butch were in the boat, and they didn't know there were any cookies…" Alex points out that there are a few crumbs left for Matt and Butch to "grub on," and Jenna thinks by telling people that there are actually two entire cookies there, they'll believe her. Rob Base(ment) announces that they could just eat them all, causing Alex to cover his ears and "la la la la la la la," before insisting that he'd been fair. Back in the confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that if they ate the cookies, Matt and Butch would never know. Besides, he says, "They're really on the outside looking in, power-wise. Even if they found out, what are they gonna do?" As someone who three minutes ago feared for his life, you'd think he'd know the answer to that.
We join the oblivious Matt and Butch in the boat, where a fish jumps up behind them. It's very, very still. Matthew whines that he wants to catch some fish, before Butch tells us in a confessional -- accompanied by shots of the two bored-looking men and massive schools of fish below -- that he and Matt caught twelve fish the first day, six fish the day, but only one fish today. Underwater, we see a fish swim over and steal their bait. So, is there a cameraman in a scuba suit down there or something? More fish swim along under the water, and Butch announces that he's "got somethin' goin' on here!" They work together to reel it in, and the fish flops around a while before Butch skewers it on his knife. Matthew congratulates him with, "Good job, dude. You got 'em. Awesome. Nice, nice size piranha, dude." In a confessional, Butch tells us that piranhas have long, sharp teeth. As he explains that he'd stabbed his catch twice in the head and had already "cut 'im all the way up," we see footage of Butch handling the fish, which suddenly flops around and chomps his hand. Butch examines his bleeding finger and dips it into the water to clean it off. He dips it into the water! As much as I like Butch, he totally deserved to pull a five-fingered skeleton back out. We see another close-up of his bloody hand as he voice-overs, "That fish was dead! I don't know -- he must have just saw my finger and come right around and bit me." He admits that it was stupid, but again insists that the fish was dead. Matthew and Butch agree that he "got nailed," as a group of guilty-looking fish swim away from the scene of the crime.
The sun sets on Night 25 at Jackée, and Matthew returns to camp with good news and bad news: he caught a fish, but he's going to kill them all. Actually, the bad news is that the fish is small. Jenna announces that they have cookies, and Butch exclaims, "Booyah!" The only person who should say "Booyah!" is Davey Rockett. And even Davey Rockett, not so much. Alex again apologizes that the cookies didn't travel well, and encourages them to split up the pile of crumbs. He seems pleased as he tells them that everyone else already ate their cookies, so the remaining crumbs are all theirs. He apologizes for not returning with more food, but insists that he kept his promises. Matthew Jack Handeys, "Promises…are really what it's all about."
As the tribe sits fireside, Jenna awkwardly announces that she and HeiDDi have to go to the bathroom and will be right back. They head away from camp as Rob Base(ment) voice-overs that although Deena told HeiDDi not to say anything to Jenna about their plans to vote off Alex, HeiDDi still told Jenna everything immediately after she returned from the reward. We see their frantic whispering, as HeiDDi voice-overs that Alex and Jenna were her original alliance, and she's not going to turn on them now. She spoke to Jenna, whom she knew would then speak to Alex, which she promptly does. A curious sloth pokes his head through a tree branch to observe the conversation between Jenna and Alex. When she tells him that Deena has turned, Alex wants to know how she found out the information, and Jenna reveals that Deena told HeiDDi. Accompanied by a quick shot of clueless Deena chewing, Jenna tells us in a confessional that she's really pissed at Deena because she was being selfish and stabbed them all in the back. She adds, "She's obviously trouble. She's starting trouble already." Jenna worries about Rob Base(ment), though, because she knows he gave Deena his word. So I guess it's not such a secret alliance after all.
Alex tells us that he "grabbed Rob" to find out what was going on, and Rob Base(ment) wanted to know how he knew about the latest developments. Alex brags that his humble response was, "Dude. 'Cause I'm good!" Backed into a corner, Rob Base(ment) confirms Jenna's information, ominously adding, "She wants you done. Sooner than later." Alex waggles his finger in Rob's face as he proposes a new plan: they still get rid of Matt, but then keep Christy and Butch while voting off Deena.
In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) tells us that things have gotten interesting at Jackée because Deena and Alex both think they're calling the shots in the game. In last week's "scenes from the ," he wrapped up this statement by claiming that he's actually the one in control, but for some reason they edit this out here. In a completely wacky shot, Rob Base(ment) stands and laughs while being slowly swallowed up by the moon. I have no idea why, but it gave my friends and me a good laugh.
Someone is clearly working on their cinematographic skills, as we see shots of various day-glo and hairy spiders crawling around. The tribe is sleeping, and suddenly HeiDDi snaps to attention as a particularly hairy spider is making a dash for some underbrush. We see a shot of HeiDDi's bulbous knee as she voice-overs that she feels "retarded" because she got bit by a spider. Meanwhile, the spider feels like a genius because he bit the nastiest member of the tribe. Jenna "oh wow[s]!" as HeiDDi whines that the injury is getting worse, and she can't even bend her knee any more. We see more shots of the knee-breast as HeiDDi voice-overs that it started off sore before turning black and blue, and now she can't even touch it without feeling extreme pain. Jenna gropes HeiDDi's knee-breast, thigh, and crotch before proclaiming that the "whole area" is hot. Alex offers to carry HeiDDi to "put [her] down over there," and she feebly insists that she'll walk. Moments later, we see him scooping her up. In a confessional, Rob Base(ment) explains that HeiDDi has been bitten by an insect. He then vocalizes what everyone else has been thinking: "It has now reached the size of one of her breasts on her knee." He concludes that it's difficult for her to walk, adding, "Hopefully she'll have it trained," but again, I don't know what that means. HeiDDi giggles, stares at her knee-breast, and snits, "Stupid bug."
The tribe checks treemail in the morning, and Alex fervently reads the clue: "What do you crave more -- immunity or food? The thought of going home tonight, might put your palate in the mood." Jenna asks in a quick flurry, "What's that mean? That I don't understand. Oh, wait. No. I don't know. I'm confused. Maybe I'm just an idiot." Deena, who is flossing her teeth -- they get floss? -- yells that she plans on eating, before telling us in a confessional that their plan has always been "Matt first, Matt first, Matt first, Matt first." They've recently decided that if Matthew wins immunity, "Alex must go. He's gone. Period. End of statement." Back at camp, Jenna is ready to leave for the challenge and asks if anyone feels like canoeing.
Alex piggybacks HeiDDi into the challenge, causing Peachy to dryly point out, "You've got a wrapped knee." Peachy snidely asks what happened. He so hates her too. HeiDDi spastically guffaws, "Would you believe a spider? Stupid spider!" Peachy points out that she's in trouble if it's a physical challenge, and HeiDDi just giggles in response.
Peachy announces that they've now been in the Amazon for twenty-seven days; he thinks the most common thoughts in their heads during this time have been of food. Jenna says, "I'll be the first to say it!" as if there's some shame in admitting to hunger. He announces that they'll be getting food today, as a "nice Amazonian menu" has been prepared for them. The kicker? The meal will consist of all "Amazonian delicacies," which Peachy speculates they've seen around their camp and could be vital in a real survival situation. The challenge will consist of four courses, and the last two to finish in each round will be eliminated until two remain in the finals. Peachy reclaims the idol from Jenna, and proclaims immunity back up for grabs. The tribe draws numbers to determine their places at the table, and I don't know why that matters, but fair is fair. Peachy finishes up with, "Hope you brought an appetite!"
The S8 line up and remove the lids from their plates to reveal giant, crunchy-looking insects which Peachy calls "Amazonian grasshopper[s]." He adds that they're bigger than "traditional grasshopper[s]." So this is, like, an alternative grasshopper? Like, he listens to Morcheeba and Dashboard Confessional? Peachy adds that Amazonian grasshoppers are also "a little tastier," than regular grasshoppers, and lies that he has tasted one when Alex calls him out. Peachy explains that he'll need to see their empty mouths, but it doesn't matter if it "comes back up" afterwards. The first six members of the tribe to "finish their grasshopper[s]" move on to the round.
The challenge begins, and everyone digs in while Jenna daintily nibbles. Alex complains that it's "a little dry," while Christy retches from the start. Suddenly, a non-fazed Matthew is done, becoming the first to advance to the second round. Rob Base(ment) looks around at the others, while Christy covers her mouth and gags some more. Deena finishes , followed by Alex, who has a really long tongue. Rob Base(ment) chews and chews and chews, then echoes Matthew's concern about the grasshopper's dryness; he insists that it doesn't taste that bad, but is really hard to swallow. Butch looks both confused and pained. Christy is still struggling, and Peachy orders her to "get the rest in," followed by some gestures that look like imitation sign language. In response, Christy gags, stuffs some more grasshopper in her mouth, rolls her eyes, bends at the waist, and spits it out. Sounds like the lyrics to a twisted children's song to me. Jenna announces that she's sorry but she'd rather eat manioc, and wouldn't they all rather eat manioc? Peachy disbelievingly questions her confidence in feeling safe from the vote, and Jenna responds that she's not confident, but she just can't do it. Rob Base(ment) is still chewing and shaking his head, causing Peachy to point out that he needs to hurry up because he still has half of it left. Meanwhile, in response to Peachy checking on how he's doing, Butch responds, "I'm enjoying it!" Peachy keeps coaching Christy, who giggles through her gulping and retching while on the sidelines, Matt happily says, "Oooh, crunchy." Christy's noises are really liquidy, and as my friend Andy pointed out, it's a good thing Christy's deaf so she can't hear how nasty she sounds. Mid-chew, HeiDDi and Rob Base(ment) carry on a conversation about how difficult it is to swallow grasshopper. Finally, Rob Base(ment) gets it all down and waves around a black tongue; Butch finishes fifth, and a teary-eyed Christy prevails. She wriggles her tongue around in disbelief while HeiDDi looks confused and pissed off. Christy retches some more.
So HeiDDi and Jenna are eliminated, which is the exact opposite of the last challenge, and much more satisfying. The remaining competitors uncover their bowls to reveal ten squirmy creatures Peachy calls "coconut worms." Peachy thinks they've likely already eaten them at camp, and it should just be a matter of who can eat them the fastest. So we're supposed to believe they've been eating these wriggling, oozing things for the past twenty-seven days when they can't even eat manioc without complaining about it? Four will advance through this round, while two will be eliminated. Peachy begins the challenge, and they all pick up their bowls like they're finishing up a bowl of soup, except Butch, who's popping them in his mouth like he's at the movies. Either they employed some subtle time-lapse photography, or Matt is done in two seconds. He drank them! Deena, Alex, and Christy finish , so Rob Base(ment) and Butch are eliminated, causing Alex to say, but not mean, "Sorry, buddy."
Peachy advises the remaining four competitors to "take off [their] tops," and it's a good thing Rob Base(ment) is not still in the competition since those words probably sent him to a whole different, happy place. Five beetles are revealed as the dish, and no one -- not even Matt -- seems particularly happy about it. Peachy insists that they're "medium-sized -- they're not large," adding that they're "baked" and "crispy." Matthew is fairly methodical in his eating, and although the beetles present the biggest difficulty he's faced so far in this challenge, he and his steely dead eyes prevail. Christy is shaking her head again and bending over as if she's about to vomit. She covers her mouth and bends over again, while a perplexed Matthew looks on with his hands on his hips and says, "Come on, Christy." Deena finishes , leading Peachy to announce, "Deena is in. Christy is throwing up."
With Christy and Alex eliminated, Deena and Matthew advance to the final course, which merits display on a special Pier One tray. As Peachy busses their plates, he tells Matthew, "Specially prepared for you, Matthew." Alex repeats from the sidelines, "They ordered ahead just for you, Matteo!" to which Matthew oddly responds, "Yeah, thank God." I have this mental picture of the crew, after watching Matthew's nonchalance with the first three rounds, digging in the dirt and looking for the nastiest things they could find. We see a giant squirming beetle/caterpillar, which Deena proclaims is "nasty-ass." She slowly backs away from it while the sidelined members of the tribe want to know what it is. Matthew holds it up while contemplating it, announcing, "It's alive…it's just a big old nasty…" Alex interrupts to ask again what it is, and Matthew responds, "It's a big grub and it's alive and it's got big teeth." What an apt description of HeiDDi! As Matthew examines the insect's "really sharp claws," Peachy orders him to "put it back down now," as Jenna proclaims it "foul," while Alex yells, "Sweet, dude!" Peachy explains that it's a beetle larva found in the trunks of dead trees. Ew. He insists that they're very common, and the only difference between this and what they've previously eaten is that it hasn't been baked or barbecued. They've also removed their pinchers, so it won't hurt going down. Deena is clearly struggling with this -- or maybe she's throwing the challenge because getting rid of Alex has become more important to her than getting rid of Matt? That just came to me.
In any case, Peachy begins the challenge, and Deena makes an annoying, exaggerated gesture of reaching for the beetle larva with both hands, before pausing and pretending to hand it off to Matt. It's not like she could have won anyway even if she'd tried, because Matt swallows the thing whole. Peachy is amazed that he didn't even bother to kill it first, while Matthew creepily mimes the bug crawling down his stomach with his fingers. Just as his hands are approaching a place no man wants a bug to go, the camera cuts away as Peachy exclaims, "That thing is still workin' its way down!" Matthew hopes his digestive juices will battle the bug and win. Meanwhile, the tribe is totally flummoxed by Matthew's amazing bug-eating abilities, and Rob Base(ment) waves his arms in the air and in a hysterical falsetto warbles, "This guy is crazy!" Matt beats his chest while the rest of Jackée hails him, except for Deena, who is either really pissed off or acting really pissed off.
More moon shots and a scan of the landscape bring us to Jackée, where Jenna heads off into the jungle with Deena, while Rob Base(ment) looks on in amused curiosity. In a confessional, Deena condescendingly says, "The mistake that Alex made at the immunity challenge…was to lose the immunity challenge." She claims that Alex needed to win to "save his heinie" but it didn't happen. She then volunteers that she would have needed to feel really threatened in order to eat "that grotesque thing," but since everyone is with her, why should she even try? Didn't she learn anything from Roger? Jenna asks Deena what's going on, and Deena again states that Alex has to go . Jenna agrees that it's "understandable." Deena cockily continues her confessional, telling us that she adequately convinced Jenna of Alex's threat, "so he's gone." She obnoxiously singsongs, "Bye, bye, Alex. Bye, bye, Alex." This kind of behavior seems more personal than strategic, so I wonder if there's some conflict between the two of which we're unaware. They both floss their teeth before pinky-swearing on voting off Alex. Jenna tells us in a confessional that Deena betrayed her alliance and stabbed the other members of the group in the back. Now, she's incredibly disappointed and shocked, and she can't forgive Deena's behavior.
Alex sits on the shoreline looking morose. Jenna joins him, telling him that it's the first time she's been pissed off in the game. He agrees. Jenna then repeats Deena approached her about voting Alex off , and didn't we already see this conversation? Alex thinks Deena wants an all-women final four, and Jenna mocks her for saying, "We control this game." She whines that Deena has said that to everyone. Jenna adds that Deena bragged about having Rob Base(ment) wrapped around her finger, and that Rob Base(ment) in turn has Matthew wrapped around his finger. As we will soon find out, the latter part of that statement is more accurate than the first part. Either they're very paranoid or Deena is nearby, as this conversation takes place in whisper. Jenna points out that if Rob Base(ment) turns on them, they're screwed.
Now Deena, Rob Base(ment), and Christy are off on their own covert mission. Rob Base(ment) voice-overs that he's been getting information from both Alex and Deena, which is a precarious position to be in because it could backfire. Deena again states that Alex is the biggest threat, because he could "make a power play" with the girls in order to eliminate the rest of the competition. She insists that she doesn't want that to happen, while Rob Base(ment) looks around shiftily. She then tries to flatter Rob Base(ment) by claiming that he has more control over "the Butch and Matt thing," whom she says he can lead to do anything. As we see shots of Matthew and Butch fishing (is all they do -- fish?), Deena voice-overs that Rob Base(ment) is "doing his own little work" with Matt, who will then talk to Butch. She credits this to all her "little fingers outreaching," and claims the pieces are falling into place with the girls playing their part. She fakes a "phew!" Deena asks Rob Base(ment) if it's agreed that Alex is , and he looks compromised as he responds, "I think so." With as much lying as he does, you'd think he'd be better at it. He tells us in a confessional that both Deena and Alex think they have the same votes lined up to vote the other off, and they also both think their plans are foolproof. He continues, "It's like…we're in the mob, and that there's gonna be a hit on one of my friends, and I really have to look the other way and act like everything's hunky dory." Except he pronounces it "honkey dorey." And again, don't only older people (and last season's Penny) use expressions like that? Rob Base(ment) concludes by claiming that the one person "who gets the hit tonight," will be the one person who least expects it.
A slithery, hissing snake brings us to Tribal Council. Peachy announces the jury, and yeah! Davey Rockett! Incidentally, Davey Rockett looks exactly like he looked when he was voted out: same clothes, same stubble, same everything. Apparently, what you see is what you get with Davey Rockett. Davey Rockett wears a serious expression as Peachy explains that he's only there as an observer to gather information for the upcoming final vote.
Peachy asks HeiDDi, "What the heck is goin' on with your knee?" She giggles that she wishes she knew, and insists that it's getting better and in two days she'll be "good to go." I think HeiDDi has a little crush on Peachy, since incommunicative as she usually is, she's even more so when Peachy is around. Peachy asks if she's concerned about the injury, and she responds that she is because her "strongest assets to this group are athletic ability and intelligence." Alex grins and shakes his head as HeiDDi continues, "And hello? One of those is gone right now!" In response, Peachy snits, "Which one?" Burn!
Peachy asks Deena whether, now that they're in the jury phase of the game, she's noticed any "palpable change" among the group. She responds that "the game is on," and that people are jockeying for positions in a struggle to see who has the power. She insists that the game has absolutely changed and people are now on edge. It's no longer about survival in the Amazon, but about survival in the game of Survivor.
Alex can't help feeling slightly paranoid at this point. He's been asking himself whether ethics play a role in the game, and if he should stab someone else in the back. He concludes that "it's a balancing act, for sure." I've recently noticed that his speech and mannerisms are uncannily like Shawna's. If we hadn't seen them in one place together, I'd be waging a "Michael and Janet Jackson are really the same person" campaign against them.
Peachy turns to Matt, asking if it's important for him to have the night's immunity. Matthew responds that immunity is "a nice thing to have," but based on what he knows about the tribe (which we all know is pretty much nothing), he claims it isn't essential. Deena looks simultaneously confused and amused as, despite his confidence, Matthew is unwilling to exchange the necklace.
Alex jumps in to say he'd love the necklace, because he wants to finish and win the game. He doesn't enter competitions to just give up and go, "Yeah, it's cool. I'm done now." It's not why he competes, but he knows if his name comes up, he's had no control over it.
Deena announces that she feels good about the way she played the game, adding that if her name comes up, "it would have come down to a bug." At first I think she means a "bug" as in a quirk in the system, but she means a literal bug, which she claims was "spawned out of the pit of hell." She says the insect is ultimately what separated her and Matt is "swallowing one giant, ugly grub." She seems very defensive here, so I think she might have been tipped to the vote.
Christy smiles as she votes. As we learned during the bug-eating, Christy smiles as she does nearly everything. She holds up Alex's name because he's a "serious threat."
Jenna votes for Deena because she betrayed her. She concludes, "You screwed me, now screw you."
Deena votes for Alex, because he's a mental and physical powerhouse. She says, "You're standing between me and the big prize."
We don't see Matthew's vote, but we do see his sweatiness.
Alex votes for Deena, complaining that she couldn't even keep her word for three days. He says he'd love to go up against her in court because she's the worst liar he's ever met, and I'm not entirely sure how that works against a lawyer in a court of law. (And please don't send me your emails. That's a joke. Sort of.) Alex shakes his head in disbelief as he drops the vote into the urn.
HeiDDi drops her vote into the jar like she thinks there might be a surprise waiting inside.
Peachy is off to tally: votes read, decision final, leave immediately, blah blah. The first and second votes are for Deena, and Rob Base(ment) sneaks a quick glance over at her to see how she's responding. The two votes are for Alex, but he's not stewing in it for long, as two more votes follow for Deena, and one more for "Denna." In response, Rob Base(ment) puffs out his cheeks and exhales. No one looks at Deena as she rises to have her torch snuffed, and Alex gulps pronouncedly. As she heads off, Peachy announces that they've survived nine Tribal Councils and have lasted twenty-seven days, so they must be doing something right. He says that the few days will raise one simple question: "How badly do you want it, and what will you or won't you do to get it." By my count, that's actually three questions.
time on Survivor, the alliance "flaunts their power," by tanning while Butch thinks it's "ridicoolous." Jenna cries, and then HeiDDi cries too. Yeah! HeiDDi cries!
As the credits roll and we see that she received all the votes except for Christy's, Deena tells us that the other members of the tribe saw her as a threat because she wanted to change the game and vote off the biggest threats. How is that "chang[ing] the game"? Isn't that what they've done every season so far? In any case, she claims that people changed their minds and formed attachments as relationships grew. She mothers, "But remember that you're gonna have to live with the decisions for the rest of your life, so make sure they count." She might have chosen the more appropriate lesson: "Pride goeth before a fall."