A yodel takes us to Peachy's voice-over, inviting us to join him for a "special episode" of Survivor: The Amazon. Peachy promises a look back at the past twenty-seven days of "highlights and never-before-seen-footage," but those of us who have seen one of these clips shows before know what Peachy's promises are worth: false expectations leading to unbearable disappointment. Or something like that. Because there's a reason this stuff's never been seen before. A quick shot of the burlap sack monkey-faced immunity idol brings us to a brief preview of the aforementioned never-before-seen footage. (And shouldn't the plural of "footage" be "feetage"?) In any case, Rob shows Deena a calendar while HeiDDi explains that it's a "great calendar, you know, for both tribes." Rob voice-overs that he's been painting the calendar with HeiDDi, "the hottest girl he's ever talked to." He adds, "She has both natural and manmade beauty qualities." Well, that's one way of putting it. "Botched boob job" is another.
In another of these pre-clips-show clips, Butch boasts that he made Christy feel good about herself, followed by a shot of Christy teaching Davey Rockett sign language. Christy enthuses that it was great that the others really wanted to learn.
In the final pre-clips-show clip, a snake uncoils and snaps at the camera in night-vision, followed by Jeanne talking about jungle noises. HeiDDi hears an animal close to camp, and two eyes glow like cartoon characters in a dark room. Proving that we are not watching a cartoon, other sets of glowing eyes don't pop up one by one, and there's no convenient pull-chain light fixture right above their heads.
The pre-clips-show clips wrap up, and we see shots of the river. Drumbeats accompany a boating local and a shot of the fishing boat that brought the S16 to the Amazon. Damned fishing boat. They never sink when you want them too. Peachy voice-overs that twenty-seven days ago, sixteen Americans, including a fresh-faced Rob, were stranded in the Amazonian rainforest. Peachy tells us what we already know: they were immediately separated by sex into two tribes: Jaburu and Tambaqui, and Deena was overjoyed by the "all-chick thing." Not to mention the chance to pee in front of the other women. Meanwhile, a "pumped up" Daniel bragged that the female tribe could never beat the men at anything, either physical or mental. He concluded, "We're never gonna go to Tribal Council." Technically, Daniel hardly ever does go to Tribal Council over the course of the series, but not for the reasons he thinks here. Jenna thought the men were cocky, and she wanted to beat them with her really skinny little arms.
Peachy's voice-over adds that the female Jaburu tribe stumbled from the beginning, as we see a clip of Shawna unable to untie the tribe's boat. Meanwhile the men "brimmed with confidence," leading Davey Rockett to proclaim them "friggin' men of pride, men of honor, whatnot." Also, Rob missed his calling as a lumberjack.
At Jaburu, Christy "revealed her secret": despite her deafness, she's more normal, well-adjusted, and functional than anyone else in the Amazon. HeiDDi and Jenna looked smirky, because...well, Christy's deaf! The women put on a comedy show with their machetes and fire-building skills. Not that you could really call them "skills." Christy felt like an outsider because she couldn't read lips in the dark, but now that she's seen the episode, I'm sure she's glad she wasn't forced to endure the conversation in which Jenna and HeiDDi discussed the male tribe's reactions to their own cuteness. Christy could never be like them! 'Cause she's not! Always totally different! Always has been! I'm not entirely sure why that's a bad thing, but she cried and pulled her hair nevertheless.
By Day 2, Roger was annoying his Tambaqui tribemates. Not to mention the entire viewing audience. Rob did what he said, while Ryan and Daniel failed to impress by not willingly assuming the role of Roger's bitches. Roger called them "kids," and proclaimed them "useless," but as Peachy tells us, the tribe members still have it together, despite their differences. And despite living by the motto intended for seventh-graders on their prominently displayed banner.
Meanwhile at Jaburu, the women were busy boiling their underwear. Deena vocalized their difficulties with prioritizing, completing, and moving on from tasks, and then made a nasty face at someone's back. This was Deena before she went full-on psycho egomaniac and was only partly-on psycho egomaniac. She told us she didn't abide by the "I'm kinda feeling like I need to wash my buff now" thing, and was more interested in building a shelter. From which to rule the world, no doubt.
On Day 3, Janet hit "rock bottom." She didn't have far to fall. She told us she'd never before been so physically exhausted, and was having trouble even walking.
At the first immunity challenge, the burlap sack monkey-faced idol made its first appearance, and the obstacle course/race began. The men were off to an early start, but Ryan and Daniel "couldn't handle the balance beam." Or the game of Survivor, for that matter, as we find out shortly. So the women took over the lead and "HeiDDi led Jaburu to victory." As I recall, she just managed to cling to a zipline successfully, but as we learned in last week's episode, Peachy's not inclined to pass compliments her way, so maybe there was more to it than we saw. Shawna flopped across the finish line, and the members of Jaburu started shrieking and jumping around like a bunch of girls.
Back at Tambaqui, Rob and his droopy, distracting manboobs had already begun to play both sides of the fence. Ryan and Roger both asked him to help them get rid of the other, and he agreed to their faces. To their backs, he agreed with Roger, so in a 4-3 Tribal Council vote, Ryan became the first member of the tribe voted out. In a post-boot interview, Ryan tells us that it was "upsetting" to be the first one, and that it's going to suck because "the boys back home are gonna give you a lot of crap." It's the whole "losing to a bunch of girls" line again. All these people need is a couple decks of cards, a jangly charm bracelet, and a dog named Tiger before they can decide to stop arguing over whether to get the rowboat or the sewing machine, and just agree to get a color television set instead. Ryan laments that the tie-breaking vote belonged to someone with whom he was aligned. He says it was all "hard to swallow," and get past his really, really white teeth.
Racing clouds find us at Jaburu on Day 4 with a new clip. While Jeanne and Joanna hunt for food, Jeanne shouts in her New England accent, and looks like a white-trash Diane Lane. Not that I'm entirely convinced a white-trash Diane Lane isn't the same as just plain old Diane Lane. Jeanne voice-overs that their natural resources are fish, plants, nuts, and fruits, complaining that the tribe hasn't spent sufficient time exploring the area, so she's forced to spend her available time hunting. We see her spot something in the brush, before shrieking in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, "It's a pineapple!" Joanna joins her and they squeal and jump and shout and hallelujah together before Joanna tells Jeanne to "look at this!" which is strange since Jeanne's the one who found it. A blank-faced tapir stares at the women and at the pineapple, which was so thrown there by Mark Burnett. In an interview, Joanna tells us that she returned to camp with the fruit "concealed" inside her coat. We see Joanna slicing up the pineapple before performing a booty dance about its sweetness. The other members of the tribe gobble it up, before Jenna tells us she doesn't know if it tasted good because they were starving or delirious. In a really strange voice, Deena says she wants ten more pineapples.
On Day 6, Jaburu's good spirits broke down when controversy -- and a granola bar -- arose in the camp. They peeked into their supply crate, and someone needed to confess: who brought in the candy bar? Joanna said Jeanne said she saw it in Janet's backpack, and with that inarguable firsthand account, the tribe agreed that Janet was the culprit. Janet maintained her innocence, insisting that the others could vote her out for any reason but for being an accused granola smuggler. Well then how about the whining and the weakness and the noncontributing for starters?
The immunity challenge, according to Peachy's voice-over, was the first "mental" competition. We see a quick shot of a ladder resting against a hut, as Peachy asks, "How many rungs are on the outside ladder?" Hee. If you already know that it was a memory test from seeing the episode when it aired, it would appear that Peachy's definition of "mental" includes the ability to count to six, which Rob did successfully while Deena did not. So the men did some shrieking and jumping around of their own.
The women headed off to their first Tribal Council, where Janet looked like Susan Sarandon before becoming the second person voted out of the Amazon. In a post-boot interview, in which Janet looks like Rue McClanahan, she explains that they'd gone six hard days without drinking because they had trouble boiling the water. They had trouble boiling water? Imagine if they had to boil an egg! Janet claims that the younger members of the tribe were "droppin' like flies," which caused her to question how much more she could take. Who, besides Shawna, was "droppin' like flies," anyway? In closing, Janet insists that her Survivor experience was "a mid-life crisis gone extremely wrong," and then cracks herself up over it.
That night, we learn that the women couldn't sleep "as the Amazon came alive." In new footage, Jeanne complains about the increased noises near their food. A bleary-eyed HeiDDi wakes needing to pee, and she's creeped out by the sounds. Jeanne suggests that the animals are just getting used to them. I think the animals would interpret "getting used to them" as "getting used to the idea of becoming better acquainted in a digestive sort of way." A machete-wielding Jeanne offers to accompany HeiDDi, and I'm surprised Deena didn't tag along too, as excited as she is by the communal peeing. As they walk away from camp, we see a quick shot of a fox-like animal scurrying up a tree branch, followed by an alligator thrashing in the water. HeiDDi suddenly jumps out at something, and I'm not sure if she's kidding or if she's really trying to scare away an animal with her gigantic bosoms. Jeanne points out a "raven over thah [sic]!" before HeiDDi tells us in an interview that bats started dive-bombing them. They ran away in an effort to escape the bat attack, but ended up with "these set[s] of glowing eyes just staring at us." Jeanne questions whether HeiDDi really wants to go down or if she can just "hold it." Jeanne urges, "Come down here and I'll dig a hole." In other words, this entire segment has been about HeiDDi needing to take a shit.
On Day 7, Roger asked Daniel to fetch some water; Daniel refused, so Roger did it himself. It made him "hot," and he wanted to "slap the kid around." Daniel complained that Roger was "unfriendly" while "barking" his orders, and that they're not speaking right now. Humph!
The members of Jaburu apparently didn't mind being barked at, though, and so Jeanne "initiate[d] Deena" as leader of the tribe. So she, like, made her drive her drunk ass around Buffalo and paint bricks and soak tampons in tuna juice and throw them at the other tribe? In any case, Deena complained that being the tribe's appointed leader put a "big target on [her] body" (oooh -- the legendary circling of the fat1), but that she accepted the responsibilities nevertheless.
Peachy voice-overs that Deena's leadership "sparked new life in the women's camp and they began to work in harmony." We then see new clips of the Jaburu women breaking sticks, chopping, working on the fire, pouring water, dragging branches, sharpening knives, and high-fiving each other while breaky, choppy, working-on-the-fire, branch-draggy, knife-sharpening, high-fivey music rhythmically accompanies them in time in the background. Shawna, meanwhile, is mixed into this montage every few seconds, haphazardly chopping a piece of wood to see how far and in which direction she can send it. Deena tells us that the "net effect" of their efforts is that the camp looks organized -- like someone lives there and cares about it and will take care of it. Of course, it just looks that way. She claims that a nicely turned out camp is the key to being "on par" with Tambaqui.
On Day 9, the competitors were locked in cages. Too bad they weren't left there. And I know I used that one in a past season, but it's worth saying again. The women claimed their fourth victory in five challenges, and the requisite shrieking ensued.
So Tambaqui headed back to Tribal Council and Daniel became the third person voted out. In his post-boot interview, where he -- based on what we've seen so far and what's still to come -- remarkably is not wearing two pounds of makeup, claims to be a "city slicker" who had never before been on a camping trip and would never voluntarily go on one. In other words, he was, like, drafted onto Survivor? So somewhere in Canada, there are legions of people burning the Jackée flag and gearing up to march on Mark Burnett's house? Daniel continues that he did Survivor only because he wanted to be the first Asian to win, but that was a goal he obviously didn't accomplish. As we see a clip of his exit, he quotes Bruce Lee with: "Low aim, not failure, is the crime," and then paraphrases it for us: "Sometimes even glory is to fail." Glory. Heh.
On Day 10, the younger women at Jaburu "sought to solidify" their closeness. And, ooh ooh ooh -- a slick, frolicky otter! Sorry, distraction. Shawna called herself "meek or prissy" before suggesting that Deena join their alliance. Deena thought it was a good idea, since she always desperately wanted to hang out with the cool crowd.
At Tambaqui, new footage shows Matthew catching a small but edible fish, while Rob worries over his position in the game. He acknowledges that Matt is the hardest worker, and whines that although Rob tries to contribute, there's only so much he can do for the tribe. Rob flails while attempting to carry a pot before telling us that he's tried not to be lazy and to be well-liked in the tribe while also "schem[ing] and plot[ting] his fanny off." And again with the geezer-speak. "Fanny"? In a wide camera shot (predecessor to the forthcoming fisheye) interview, he worries that Davey Rockett, Alex, Butch, and Roger are contemplating voting him out because their togetherness combined with Matt's usefulness around camp might lead them to the conclusion that "the guy that does the wisecracks isn't as useful as the guy that catches the fish." Particularly if said wisecracks are primarily of the "you've got treemail" variety.
As we go to the fire-making challenge, Peachy ambushes his own bad pun by telling us that "the men were fired up," instead of the better " the men were on fire," seeing as how they literally were. Matt pretended like he wasn't enjoying it. They toasted their victory with Coke, while Jaburu returned to camp empty-handed, and Coke deprivation led to Shawna's breakdown. She didn't see herself lasting much longer without Coke, and that she would be "very tempted" to get out to get some Coke. Deena, meanwhile, didn't think she'd be able to further enable Shawna's Coke habit by sending her home.
Shawna sat out the fish-clubbing challenge on Day 12 while the men "fished their way to immunity" and prevailed, sending the women to Tribal Council. Even though Shawna's Coke withdrawal made her weak, the alliance planned to "keep her trapped in the Amazon" as part of Deena's master plan for world domination. While Deena claimed to feel compassion for Shawna, they had an agreement, and she doesn't want Shawna's Coke habit dragging her down, too. Deena instead focuses on Joanna -- the most "physical" member of the tribe. She tells us that Joanna has too much power and too much force. In other words, Deena can't boss her around. Not to mention she's nutso. Deena camera-talks, "Shawna, guess what: you're not in charge here. It's about the core alliance. Suck it up, baby. 'Cause you're along for the ride." So Joanna got voted out instead of the Coke-swilling Shawna, while Jeanne was mad and teary-eyed. In her post-boot interview, Joanna claims that she didn't expect to be voted out so soon, but that she knew Deena would "come after [her]," because of her presence as a strong leader. She complains about the "nasty" water, and bitches that she was struggling with no help while "everybody's layin' out lookin' crazy." And crazy would best know how crazy looks. She tells us it's hot, she's hungry, and she's been playing the game by herself. And with God, of course.
The morning, in new footage, Christy goes fishing by herself and learns that she is actually capable of catching something. Sounding shocked, she tells us that after doing so, she felt "kinda cool, you know?" As she explains that it felt good to provide food for the others, we see a shot of a poor fish laying on the ground with its little lips and little lungs attempting to breathe, and then another poor fish being swarmed by wasps. If I were a fish, I wouldn't watch this show. But then I'm a human, and I still occasionally watch Special Victims Unit.
Yet another fish writhes on the ground, and Deena steps on it on her way toward Christy, whose hat is raffishly perched atop her head. Deena tells Christy that Shawna and Jeanne have been "commiserating," prompting Christy to ask, "What, like discussing? Arguing?" Deena slow talks, "No...feeling really bad for each other." She continues, "As in 'I'm sorry that Joanna's gone/ I'm sorry that you're still here.'" Jaunty-hatted Christy earnestly asks, "'Commiserating'?" and Deena repeats, "Com. Mis. Er. Ate. Com. Mis. Er. Ate." Oh. That's embarrassing.
We join the commiserating conversation, where Jeanne announces that she's not just going to roll over and die because Joanna's gone. She holds nothing back as she tells Shawna that even though she thinks Shawna's "the greatest kid in the world," Shawna should have been voted off. Shawna -- whose lips are nasty white in this segment -- claims that she knows exactly what Jeanne means. Jeanne adds that the tribe needs energy, which Shawna doesn't have, and forecasts, "Or maybe the tribe has a plan that they didn't share with me."
Peachy tells us that, frustrated by Joanna's departure, Jeanne "cooked up a plot for revenge." A gong sounds and the camera zooms inside the container of fuzz-covered manioc. Jeanne tells us that she's "right there" in the game mentally, but in honor of Joanna's departure, she's "gonna kick their butts" because Joanna would like that. Jeanne explains that after she cooked the fish, the rest of the tribe still wanted manioc. So, she opened the lid, finding all manner of crud: "Pink fuzz, green fuzz, white maggots, ants, skinny little worms." As we see her fussing over the fuzz, she announces, "Good eatin', folks!" She continues telling us that she knew how to cook the manioc so that the others would like it and explains, "I went in, got a little of the mushy stuff, dipped it into the crunchy stuff, got a little green mold, a little pink mold, and kind of rolled it all together into little hot dog, bite-sized morsels." And I'm not sure if the food itself or Jeanne's overzealousness in describing it is more disturbing. As we see close-ups of Jeanne's fuzzy balls cooking in the ashes, she announces to the others, "Meatballs are cooking, girls! And they are gonna be...great!" She then makes a cringing face and sticks her tongue at the camera when the others can't see. Christy eagerly eyes the meal, and Jeanne responds that it's going to taste like "beef stew and your mom's biscuits." In an interview, she brags that the tribe devoured her fuzzy balls, thinking they were like "sesame treats." As we see the women waving the fuzzy balls around before popping them in their mouths, Jeanne laughs in an interview, "I wouldn't eat one if you paid me!" She adds, "Hopefully, they'll all keel over....they might!" As we break, HeiDDi gives the thumbs-up while Jenna announces that she could eat Jeanne's fuzzy balls all day.
As we pan across the treetops, a bright sun, and a little bird, Peachy voice-overs that on the morning of Day 13, the tribes received treemail promising "wine and laughter." Or in the case of most of these people, "whine and no senses of humor whatsoever."
Peachy voice-overs that Davey Rockett and Jenna met for "date night in the jungle." They "Oh my God"ed over the food, and Jenna told us, "We were so excited to actually talk to someone of the opposite sex. We were, like, ready!" Jenna told everything about her tribe, while Davey Rockett expected her to because he's a rocket scientist and they know everything. Everything, apparently, except that they'll still get an early boot in the game from making the wrong alliances. The morning, Jenna boasts to Peachy that they had fun and "didn't hold anything back." Davey Rockett and Jenna then had the chance to draft new, co-ed tribes, leading Shawna to perk up at the arrival of men at her camp. Deena thought it was "amazing what a little bit of testosterone can do for somebody." She'd know.
At the new Tambaqui, Christy felt at home because of the tribe's acceptance of her deafness. Butch tried to include and welcome her, and Christy cried happy tears because they figured out how to use their lantern effectively. She derisively referred to her original group as "that Jaburu tribe," before telling us in an interview that she planned to devote 110% to the new tribe.
Despite Christy's zeal, Jaburu won the immunity challenge. A spider web glinted in the light back at Tambaqui, as Davey Rockett approached HeiDDi about the likelihood of a tie at Tribal Council unless gender lines were broken. He claimed to want to "carry" HeiDDi into the merge, and acted like he was answering objectively when she requested his help. Also, HeiDDi scratched at herself and stuck her tongue out. But that kind of goes without saying. She told us in an interview she was between a "rock and a hard stone," providing a happy place for us to go to when we're feeling sad, before referring to herself as the "key factor" among the tribe.
So HeiDDi sided with the men in the night's vote, and Jeanne was voted out. In her post-boot interview -- having just been visited by Colby's mom and her makeup -- she tells us that she knew HeiDDi would turn on her because Jeanne was such a threat. Jeanne is flattered that the men thought so, too. Or else they just like HeiDDi's big boobies. She tells us that she thought she could be sneaky and cunning, while shirking responsibilities like the others, but in the end she couldn't. Instead, she spent her time hunting and gathering and playing with her fuzzy balls. She insists that she wanted to play the game hard and fair, but that it didn't work out the way she intended.
On Day 16, everyone on Jaburu was getting along, and Matthew complained that the members of his original tribe were too "tactical." Alex and Shawna groomed each other, and then Alex blahed on about romance in the air, interest in the air, flirting in the air, blah in the air. Jenna felt like a tagalong dork at the drive-in.
In new Tambaqui footage, Roger asks Christy if she listens to music through headphones. She says that she does, but really loudly, so it's embarrassing to take them anywhere because people "shhh" her. In an interview, Davey Rockett tells us that the new tribe was coming together and old alliances were "melting." We rejoin the tribe as Roger announces that he's stopped at many traffic lights where the music in the car to him was really loud. I'm so sure all those cars were populated by deaf people. In any case, Christy pauses before humoring him by admitting that some deaf people "overdo" it with the bass in booming techno music. Butch didn't want to lose another member of the tribe because they'd bonded so well and made Christy feel good about herself. Christy's primary role on Survivor is apparently to make other people feel good about making her feel good about herself. Christy asks the others if they want to learn to sign, and she teaches them a little cheer that means "Team Fish." In an interview, she tells us it's great that people want to learn because she can actually contribute, for once. Roger tries to look earnest as he wriggles his hands around while Christy adds that she would instruct them and then tweak the other's gestures to be more accurate. While Christy talks, the Music of Special People Reaching Out to Other Special People twinkles in the background. Christy happily concludes her interview, telling us that Tambaqui is now her tribe and her new home. Davey Rockett likes the "Team Fish" cheer and sees no reason why they need to learn anything else. Or do it ever again, for that matter.
Two little otters tread water and use their little hands/flippers/paws to eat. One ducks under the water.
In the challenge, the Tambaqui tribe gnawed their way to victory. And it was something nasty! Matt picked meat out of his teeth while Davey Rockett looked repelled and exhausted from the recently completed task. Seriously, if you have this on tape, go back and look at poor Davey Rockett's facial expression.
So Jaburu went to Tribal Council, where Shawna insisted with outrage that she was in it "for the long haul." Did she think they forgot when she wanted to leave? Still, "while Alex helplessly looked on," Shawna was voted out of the tribe, and Peachy may or may not have checked out her ass as she departed. In her post-boot interview, she tells us she thought she was a twenty-three-year-old "bad-ass" and a "rock." She also proves that she spent some time with Rob when she calls herself a "pantywaist." She admits to having dug her own grave, and claims that Survivor was the hardest thing she's ever done.
On Day 19, a thug monkey hung out in a tree.
Also on Day 19, treemail arrived and "sent both camps packing." As Jaburu prepared to leave, they plotted their move, and Deena reinforced the voting order: Davey Rockett, Roger, Butch. At that moment, home viewers knew the vote couldn't go down that way, because why would they broadcast it if it did? In any case, the new Jaburu agreed that it's all for one and one for all. But really, in Deena's case, it was all for one and one for all and not for long.
The tribes paddled out to Peachy's island, where he informed them that they would now merge into one tribe. The tribe -- calling themselves Jackée -- were sent off to their new home and greeted with a feast of hot dogs, drumsticks, and Coors Light. They toasted each other while Alex made frantic hand gestures in the background.
The members of the new Jackée tribe got to know each other, while Rob specifically "got to know HeiDDi." In new footage, we see the aforementioned calendar, and I notice that, for some reason, HeiDDi puts fingerquotes around the word "'calendar,' you know, for both tribes." As HeiDDi paints a grid, Rob voice-overs that he's been working on their story in the Amazon. He talks about HeiDDi's manmade breasts adding, "This is the hottest girl I've ever talked to. Even though she's wearing a retainer all the time." HeiDDi boasts that she and Rob are "pretty creative about this whole calendar event" and is proud that she can remember "day by day" what's happened to them. It's twenty days, people. Not twenty years. Rob continues that it's exciting for him to be "in such close contact with this girl and not have to have a handful of singles in my hand."
Roger put an end to all this supposed "fun" by citing the tribe's "tendency" to be festive while forgetting the need for a new shelter. So the men hacked things and Christy wanted to start putting the floorboards down, but Roger thought palm-frond-splitting was more appropriate womanly work, as evidenced by the fact that Rob was already doing it. So Christy animatedly bitched in an interview about wanting to help while Roger felt like everything was in place for a 6-4 Tribal Council vote against the women -- Tambaqui's original plan. He announced, "You know, it should just be...kick 'em off!" Meanwhile, HeiDDi was desperate to take out Roger, and Deena "oh, no no no"ed her. HeiDDi didn't care who left after Roger, but a snake apparently did as it cocked its head to listen. In an interview -- in which Matt stood beside him looking typically stumped -- Alex told us that Roger was under the mistaken belief that a girl would go .
During the immunity challenge, Roger wore seven layers of clothing and prematurely jumped off his perch. Surprisingly, the editors miss the chance here to repeat Jenna and HeiDDi's nudity for peanuts. Literally. Deena clutched her crotch and gave the thumbs-up before personally claiming the victory and fistbopping Christy.
So Jackée took its first joint trip to Tribal Council, where Roger felt confident and safe from the vote, claiming that if he'd really needed the immunity, he would have put more into the challenge. He then got booted anyway, and tells us in his post-boot interview that he was and still is cocky. He blathers on about never losing that "self-confidence" and positivity and being an opinionated Type A leader, none of which, he insists, ever go away. Still, he admits that he should have laid low and "exuded" less confidence. He credits the others for being better at the game than he is. But only at the game! Because they're obviously worse than he is at everything else.
On Day 22 at Jackée, Davey Rockett "pondered" his new situation. He looked stumped and pensive before telling us in an interview that his "stability" had been turned upside down, and then something else about "put[ting his] roots into Roger." He realized that he needed to play according to the new situation, and tried to prove his value to the tribe by scaling a twenty-foot tree using just his arms, and giving a rain-soaked interview/personal ad. He concluded by telling us that his goal was to build alliances with the remaining contestants. And maybe if he'd spent less time swing dancing, he could have made that happen. Because in new footage, we find Jackée at night, with Christy and Davey Rockett on fire watch while the rest of the tribe sleeps. He whispers to Christy about his feelings of guilt for his "Tambaqui behavior." He admits to having voted for her, and claims to feel bad about it. Juxtaposed into this conversation is an interview in which Davey Rockett tells us he wants to clean the slate -- make sure there are no feelings, and hey! if he manages to score a vote or two in the process, then he'll just have to live with it. Davey Rockett tells Christy that people want to get rid of him and it "kinda sucks." He then explains in an interview that, "shortly thereafter," Christy said she liked so dance. He acts like it's a rare coincidence that he likes to dance, too. He then asked her if she could swing dance, but she only knew salsa so he "took the opportunity" to teach her dancing. Suddenly, he goes all Swayze on us and Johnny Castles about six beats and four beats and leading and following and nobody puts baby in a corner! Oh. Anyway. As swing music plays quietly in the background, we pan over Dave's and Christy's moving feet to his hand on her waist and her grinning face. He leads her through an underarm turn, and she looks pretty happy about it, although I kind of think I spot a quick eye roll. Davey Rockett says in interview that it was the most entertaining fire watch he's been on so far. Christy then tells us that she thinks Davey Rockett was exaggerating how much he appreciates her. If he really appreciated her, he could have showed her throughout the game instead of "like, the day before you think you're gonna get voted off." Hee.
In the mask-busting trivia immunity challenge that I still maintain should have been a reward challenge, Davey Rockett's hopes are "smashed." This is a pun-heavy Peachy script. Jenna was the last one standing, and so took immunity into the eighth Tribal Council, where Davey Rockett made a final plea to the tribe -- he'd like to spend the few days with the other players and it turns out he gets that wish: as the first member of the jury. In his post-boot interview, he tells us he was surprised to be perceived as a threat and thought to himself, "Wait a minute. Now I'm the bad guy." He cites his experience as a "prime example" of how difficult it is to plan more than a few days in advance while playing Survivor. He admits to having miscalculated, and employs an extended "thin ice" metaphor that I won't go into here.
On Day 25, the Jackée alliance of Deena, Rob, Alex, and Jenna fell apart as HeiDDi tongued herself and insisted that Matt wasn't in the picture, while Deena slow-talked about the necessity of getting rid of Alex. So HeiDDi wrote that news down with her Number Two pencil on a piece of yellow lined notebook paper folded up like a football and passed it along to Jenna who then passed it along to Alex. Alex then passed the little football note along to Rob, adding a line about going for Deena instead of Butch or Christy.
The challenge put the "tribe's appetite for immunity" to the test, and Deena gave up in the final round, because Matt's a really, really good insect eater. I notice for the first time that the individual immunity necklace is made entirely of lettuce and carrots. At Tribal Council, Deena's decision to quit the bug-off cost her the game as she became the second member of the jury. In her post-boot interview, she tells us it was "game on" from the beginning and proclaims it okay to be "downright dirty." She says that Alex had more influence over the girls than she did, and though she thought she had everything under control, it all came crashing down around her. She chooses to employ an extended "house of cards" metaphor, but I won't go into that, either.
We wrap up the special with shots of the remaining seven castaways in action while Peachy voice-overs that the "stakes have never been higher." He says we'll learn how the S7's decisions will affect the jury and what adventures await them, before imploring us to keep watching to find out who will outlast the rest to become the sole survivor. Not to mention the myriad ways we can mock them.
It the same "scenes from the " that we saw last week -- part of the giant conspiracy by Mark Burnett, CBS, and Coors Light to trick us into watching the clips-show crapfest -- the young people lie around in bikinis. Well, the women do. For once, Rob and Alex manage to put on some shorts. Also, HeiDDi looks even more wrinkly when she's crying.