“ A very excited Peachy tells us we must be wondering, 'How did this happen?' And I am wondering, because the switch between Thailand and Los Angeles was virtually seamless save for the aforementioned new coifs, Brian's beefed-up arms, and Jan's black eyeliner. ”
When we left Just Peachy, he was hopped up on Mountain Dew and heralding Brian's victory as the fifth winner of Survivor. Brian was whispering something long and urgent in Ken's ear, and a buttoned-to-the-neck C.C. was crying from an acceptable hundred yards away. The unrecognizable first seven booted contestants had filed onto the stage and were milling about trying to act as though we remembered who they were, while a tumbleweed had mysteriously settled atop Clay's head, perched jauntily beside Brian's brand-new mullet.
A very excited Peachy tells us we must be wondering, "How did this happen?" And I am wondering, because the switch between Thailand and Los Angeles was virtually seamless save for the aforementioned new coifs, Brian's beefed-up arms, and Jan's black eyeliner. But that's not what Peachy means. Instead, he's wondering how Brian -- known to everyone to be a "player and a threat" -- made it to the Final Two, and managed to bring along Clay, a "guy that not only didn't do his fair share of the work, but half his own tribe didn't even like him!" What Peachy finds most "confounding," however, is the failure by Jan, Helen, and Ted to wise up and "take one of those two guys out." In the following hour, Peachy tells us, we'll also "get to the bottom" of the Grindia-and-Ted incident, which is an unfortunate choice of words. Well, fortunate for us in the viewing audience because it's funny, but unfortunate for Ted and Grindia's families, who have probably long since moved on from that particular embarrassment and on to the myriad others life with their spouses undoubtedly presents. Peachy promises that the show will be quick, but says nothing about its being painless. Still, he insists that we'll have fun and urges us to stick around. As we go to commercial, the camera pans out to show Brian giving the thumbs-up to someone in the audience -- most likely, C.C.'s hardworking parole officer.
Back from commercial, the audience is prompted by some unseen element to applaud wildly. Most likely, Peachy has just announced that Penny will be unable to make tonight's show. Or else Rudy walked in. Yay, Rudy! Peachy gleefully tells us that this is the first time since Thailand that the entire S16 have been gathered together. Peachy tells us that after several seasons, he still can't make any sense of what it takes to succeed in the game. He points out that Richard won by being in control; Tina won "basically because people respected her"; Ethan's likeability led him to victory; and Vecepia won by flying under the radar -- not to mention God's grace, of course. Peachy thinks that Brian did the opposite of flying under the radar, but by my count, he pretty much perfectly fulfilled the other descriptions. He did control the game; people -- for what reasons, I don't know -- respected him; and they also seemed to like him a great deal. In any case, Peachy tells us that he's still clueless, because based on first impressions, he would never have predicted the game's end result. He congratulates a somber-looking Brian, who does his standard, humble-man "thank you, thank you" routine before standing, waving at the audiences, and extending a hand toward the players seated behind him, as if sharing his success with them. Brian sits back down and casually flips back his mullet as Peachy snits that he's "already taken his curtain calls."
Survivor: Thailand - The Reunion
Despite Peachy's confusion about how Brian won, he still thinks Brian was one of the all-time smartest players. In fact, Peachy posits, if the tribe were a totem pole, Brian was never at its head; instead, he maintained control of the game without ever controlling the tribe. Although I'm not sure if that statement is entirely true, it's worth the image of the animated heads of Ted, Jan, Helen, Clay, and Brian forming a totem pole. Brian credits his success to daily "positive affirmations," as well as to enjoying the game. He woke up each morning and reminded himself that he was not at Club Med. I'll bet every one-time shipwrecked castaway watching the show right now wishes he or she had that problem. Brian claims that there are mind games involved, and reveals that he had to remind himself of that frequently, and confirm his purpose in Thailand.
As Brian's cockiness escalates, Peachy swoops in to cut him down. He points out that, despite all Brian's strategies, he barely won over Clay. He apologizes to Clay for being "fresh," as he points out that he "badgered" three people on the jury and still got three of the jury's seven votes. He asks if Brian was surprised to have "squeaked this out." Brian curiously looks Clay over, before sputtering that Clay's a "very tough competitor, very likeable, very likeable, likeable guy, a very likeable guy." Peachy is annoyed and cuts in, "No, no, no, no, no, Brian. We're not doin' this anymore!" He thinks he might get a straight answer out of Clay, and very slowly explains that there were seven people on the jury, so Clay needed four votes. Instead of pandering to those votes, Clay instead gave Jake a pre-Tribal Council tongue-lashing, and did it again during the jury speeches; he talked around Ted's question; and he didn't even try to answer Helen. Peachy asks why Clay didn't even attempt to win over one of them, and points out that it would have been a "$900,000 vote." Clay responds that because he and Jake are from the same part of the country and have arguments every day, he thought that particular disagreement wasn't a big deal. Peachy questions whether Clay really thought Jake would write off the argument, "Aw, that old Clay." Clay says he didn't think that, but he also didn't think Jake would "hold it in his heart like that." Clay fumbles for words to continue, and Peachy finally cuts him off: "You get my point, right?" Clay understands, but that doesn't stop Peachy from snitting, "My point is: you got all this way and then you just started cuttin' bridges left and right." Clay explains that he didn't think at the time he was cutting a bridge with Jake, he remains confused about Ted's allegations of racism, and Helen's mind was already made up so whatever he said wouldn't have made any difference. With this, the camera pans over to show Helen's sourpuss face.
Peachy turns back to Brian, points out his various alliances, and says it was clear -- given the opportunity -- that Brian planned to take to the finals whomever would benefit Brian best in the end; Peachy asks why Brian thought that was Clay. Brian responds, "One word: paranoia." He explains that Clay made the mistake of allowing his emotions to take over, and didn't always think before acting. Peachy translates: "Meaning: Clay had more enemies," and then orders the group, "Gimme a direct answer" from now on because the show is only an hour long. Peachy agrees that it was wise of Brian not to pick Jan, because she was well liked. Brian mumbles, "Just a decision."