Previously on Survivor, the alliance of John, Zoe, Tammy, and Robert maintained "strategic control of the camp." Paschal gave his "huge word" to John, but it wasn't so "huge" after all, or at least it didn't end up meaning as much as he said it did. And as it turned out, Paschal and Neleh were indeed "supporting [John's] success in the game." If "success in the game" meant voting his ass out the chance they got. Eight remain. Who will be voted out tonight?
It's Day 25 at Soliantu. We see the pretty waterfall, and voices rise above the water's rush. Sean announces that it's "a new day," and it "feels like The Wiz." I'm assuming he means the musical, and not Kathy's new nickname after peeing on John's hand. In any case, Sean launches into a rousing rendition of "Brand New Day" from said musical. Vecepia joins in, because that's what she does. Meanwhile, Sean has raised his fist in the air and is pumping it. Take that, old day! It's a brand new day! Kathy says she loves that song, but I bet she's never heard it before. In a confessional, Sean tells us that he feels good this morning because until now his "destiny" has been in other people's hands, so being in control is a new experience. Kathy stands directly underneath the waterfall and her bathing suit sags. Actually, Kathy's bathing suit sags wherever she stands. She needs some new elastic. Or the breasts of Britney Spears. Now from opposite sides of the waterfall, Sean and Vee greet the world with shouts of, "Hello, world!" and then Vee tells Sean he'll be the "first Jet beauty of the week." In a confessional Sean rehashes how he, Vee, Neleh, Paschal, and Kathy voted John out, and says, "Truly may the best man win with no alliance." So basically, you can conspire to vote as a group, but so long as you don't actually call it an "alliance" then it's not one? Sean jumps off the edge of the waterfall and yells, "Marquesan Islands!" and I'll have to remember to yell "Baltimore City!" the time I step off a curb. Paschal lies near the group but is not actively involved in their celebration. He tells us in a confessional that he wants the non-manipulative, fair players to reach the top. As he says this, we see clips of Sean giving the peace sign, Neleh floating on her back, and Vecepia backstroking by a now ecstatic, no longer floating Neleh. Neleh says of John's last minute ejection, "I just think it's hilarious. Like, I just laugh my head off." She then proceeds to laugh her head off, in case we didn't get it.
Scary idols. A cow skull. The American flag. Are we watching Survivor or playing "One of these things is not like the others"? Paschal carries wood, and we see Tammy and Robert sitting side by side watching their tribemates interact. Tammy tells us in an interview that the mood is very happy "among those five people" because they're "sittin' pretty." The five huddle and discuss their noble plans for the game about five feet from where Tammy and Robert sit. Kathy says they have to have fun today, and the others agree, although in my experience, fun by mandate is never as fulfilling as fun that just happens. Tammy shakes her luxurious hair (or at least it should be luxurious, based on the way she shakes it around), and tells Robert they are "two outcasts sittin' over here." Robert doesn't think anyone will come over to hang with them, and Tammy thinks the others see them as traitors, but insists that they would have done the same thing. Maybe so, but they might not have gloated about it so much.
Now we're back in the huddle, and Neleh is going on about how good and pure and honest she is, and how she's always been that way.
We then cut back to where Tammy sits, spitting -- clearly being neither good nor pure nor honest. She tells Robert they got screwed for trusting John. But John didn't do anything to betray them; really, they just got screwed for being too cocky. In a confessional, Tammy tells us that the members of the Rotu alliance have targets on their backs, and unless something significant changes in the few days, she'll go first because she's viewed as the alliance's new leader. Robert looks at her affectionately and says, "You then me, kid. That's the pecking order." He then leans over and brushes something off her face. Tammy, who may or may not have a clothespin on a string wrapped around her arm, responds that the game's not over yet.
In a confessional, Tammy tells us that her allegiance is to Zoe and Rob, but she doesn't know "what game Zoe is playing." We see Tammy and Rob watching Zoe, whom Tammy says "fits right into that group now." Tammy tells us that she wanted to determine the strength of their old alliance. She sits in a shallow puddle of water -- Survivors have been sitting and squatting in puddles of water since the first season, and it's always looked very uncomfortable to me -- and tells us that she told Zoe she was glad for their alliance.
Now we join their walk as Zoe responds, "Well, it was...it was a pretty loose, pretty loose friendship in my eyes." Tammy stops short and looks perplexed. She wants to know what Zoe means, and Zoe says something about the alliance having been "weak." Tammy says it's fine if that's Zoe's "game" now, but it's not what she was saying earlier.
From her wet-assed confessional Tammy tells us that Zoe said she wasn't in the Rotu alliance, but that's not true. If Zoe wants Tammy to keep her mouth shut now so she can play her game that's one thing, but Tammy would respect it more if Zoe would be straight with her. It's now Zoe's turn to stop short. She turns and says, "You want me to tell you that, from the get-go, I didn't like ya? I didn't really dig you. I didn't, like, dig the way your eyes were -- your presentation." Harsh! Tammy stands -- dumbfounded -- and then tries to laugh it off. Tammy now tells us that she's changed her true opinion of Zoe, who's "a bitch." She says that Zoe's trying to save her own butt right now, but maybe her true colors will eventually show through and she'll be voted off in Tammy's place.
We then see Zoe telling Tammy that she doesn't trust her, and Tammy explains that she doesn't trust Zoe either. Or dig her presentation, for that matter. Zoe thinks that's "cool," and that they should go fetch some shells, because that's what they're there to do. They walk off side by side, mutually not digging each other.
In a confessional, Zoe tells us that she's trying to distance herself from Tammy in the game at this point. She says she's there to win, and if she had to "say something to someone and do something exactly the opposite without them knowing or with them finding out later," then that's "just the way life is." Zoe, along with Little Orphan Annie, is clearly aware that it's a hard knock life.
We see Neleh find a big coconut with a clue; she insists that the others are "gonna be so in love" with it, whatever that means. The clue -- perhaps penned by our very own Moppet -- reads, "Hard as a rock/Neat as can be/Tough to get into as you soon will see/You're gonna pair up/But you won't know with whom/Full bellies and a party if you both can pull through." The promise of food accounts for much shouting and happiness among Soliantu.
They arrive at the challenge, and we learn they've randomly drawn lots to determine their pairings: Sean and Paschal; Tammy and Vee; Kathy and Robert; and Neleh and Zoe. You may have noticed by now that I refuse to call Robert "The General." Because it goes against everything I believe in. In any case, each team has a three-foot-tall bamboo shoot, which they are challenged to fill to the top with coconut juice. The S8 can choose to gather coconuts scattered along the beach, or swim "far out" for "large parcels of coconuts" tethered in the water. The first team to completely fill its bamboo shoot wins the reward. Peachy explains that the winners will be picked up at camp by helicopter and dropped off on top of a mountain. Here, he raises his hand -- most likely for Neleh's sake -- to show that a mountain is HIGH. He says "two horse will be waiting" to take a "really fun ride" down to an authentic "full-on" Marquesan feast. He promises that they'll return fully sated and ready for the last thirteen days. Peachy coaches the S8 to take their spots and then reminds them that they can get coconuts from the beach or water, and if I'm ever stranded on a desert island, I hope I remember to look for the large bundle of coconuts anchored fifty yards out.
The race begins and Sean really wants that prize; in fact, he's ready to both run and swim for a good meal. And he's not a bad swimmer at all, so either he's learned during the past twenty-five days, or he was pretending to be unable to swim earlier during the show. Neleh and Vee are the only competitors who decide to scope out the beach for coconuts; the others make a dash for the water, and Robert is the only one who seems to be having difficulties. In the water, anyway. On land, Neleh unsuccessfully attempts to carry five coconuts. Every time she picks one up, she drops one of the coconuts already in her arms. She ends up just kind of squatting on the beach, cradling coconuts and looking a good deal like a four-year-old. Meanwhile, Robert is now drowning. Sean and Paschal are off to a good start, which Peachy credits to a "really healthy coconut."
As the other teams progress -- or fail to progress -- Peachy is in rare form. He chides Neleh and Zoe with, "You guys are dry, what's up?" and then tells Kathy, "You guys need to pick it up!" He encourages the tribes to keep working, and then sounds exasperated as he yells again, "Kathy and General, you guys need to pick it up!" Zoe smashes coconuts while Neleh timidly attempts to offer some advice. Peachy walks by and tells them to keep it up because they're still in the game, which leads Neleh to conclude they've as good as won. She squeals, "We got it, Zoe!" and bustles about claiming that they're "on top of it."
We return to Sean and Paschal, where Sean is manically smashing coconuts; he orders Paschal back out to fetch more. Meanwhile, Vee and Tammy are having difficulties; Tammy yells at Vee to "check' em every once in a while." I guess some coconuts are empty of juice while some are full? You'd think that would be obvious from the way they feel, but a lot of things happen in this game that defy common sense. Peachy then announces that Vee and Tammy have fallen behind because they have a "whole lotta coconuts and no juice." Now Kathy and Robert have caught up, and Zoe and Neleh are gaining, as well. Peachy announces , "One coconut can get you right back in it!" and that "it's tight," and so they shouldn't let up. Sean again sends Paschal back out for more coconuts, and then we join Kathy as she snaps at Robert, "I don't care if it's hard, just keep going!" Hee! He got yelled at by a girl. While a dismayed and anxious Sean waits on his return, Paschal trips in the water. Kathy, meanwhile, is yelling at Robert, "You are gonna win this! This is your win! This is your win!" Obviously, she's not at all aware of the fact that if he wins, she wins too. We see Robert and Kathy open an empty coconut, and then Sean's bamboo shoot is suddenly full. They win!
He and Paschal literally jump into each others' arms, fall to the sand, and begin rolling around. They don't quite make it to the surf, so they're just rolling around in the sand, while intimately cradling each others' heads. Peachy asks, "Is this the most unlikely pair?" and Paschal responds, "The old man and the brother!" Because "black" and "old" are mutually exclusive. Or because a black person is as unlikely to win as an old person? Peachy guarantees the winners a great day tomorrow and sends them back to camp. The others -- especially Kathy -- actually look generally happy for the victors. Then, as we go to commercial, Sean tries to smooch Paschal on the lips, but Paschal turns his head, so Sean gets the cheek. Dissed!
The sun sets on Day 26. A bird soars, representing the plight and potential of the old and the black. Paschal says he's ready for his "mission," and Neleh wants a full description as soon as he gets back. As they sit together, Kathy urges the others to look at the clouds. No one answers, so she commands, "Look at the pink on the clouds!" Neleh never thought she'd be sitting there on Day 26. Neither did we. Kathy hugs Sean and advises him to have "lots of alcohol and lots of pig." Sean says he'll try, and he'll also eat slow "'cause o' [his] stomach." Kathy again insists that it will be so much fun and she's so happy for them. She gives Sean a big kiss, and then the whole tribe walks them to the arriving helicopter. Vee recaps what went down in the challenge. She says Sean was down but not out, and he particularly deserves the win "after all of the mess some of these people on the Rotu tribe put him through." She fails to include herself in the whole "these people on the Rotu tribe" grouping, even though in the "Look Closer" clips show, she owned up to being a part of them.
Paschal heads into the 'copter and Sean blows them kisses. There's a lot of kissing going on in this episode. Vee cries while Sean gives a thumbs up sign through the window. Kathy feels like they're going away, and an annoyed Tammy points out that they'll only be gone a couple hours. Kathy knows that, but insists that it's exciting anyway. She then wants the others to agree that it's exciting. It is exciting isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it, goddamnit? Do I have to be excited for the rest of you? Do I have to do everything around here?
In the helicopter, Paschal tells Sean they're going to "see this thing all the way through." Is there any reason why they might not follow through on claiming their reward?
Suddenly, they're standing on the side of a mountain and Sean yells out, "Hello!" Two men wearing orange shorts and headdresses arrive on horseback. They introduce themselves, and one's name sounds something like "Akateeny," but he's not teeny at all. Akateeny then introduces Paschal and Sean to their rides, and Sean worries, "I gotta [sic] get the wild one!" Akateeny insists that it's okay, but Sean is concerned. He tells us in a confessional, "The only horses I been on are the merry-go-rounds at Central Park." We see Sean fussing on the horse, trying to figure out where to put his feet. He then tells us that "horses are big animals," but really, it's all relative: like, a horse is a big animal to a mouse, but to an elephant? Not so much. Vaudevillian music plays as we watch Sean's various horse-riding antics. He finally decides that talking to the horse might be the best approach and says, "Nice horsey. How ya doin?'"
It looks like they've finally started riding on the trail, and there's a big commotion. The horses are turning in circles and Sean is yelling in a horrified voice, "Oh, shit! He's biting' him! Oh my God!" Akateeny (by now, both men have become "Akateeny" to me) tries to calm Sean down by holding his hand, but Sean wants off the horse. The thing we see is Sean climbing onto the back of Akateeny's horse; he wraps both arms around Akateeny's waist, and burrows his head into Akateeny's back. In an interview, Sean tells us that the last thing he wanted to see was the horses biting each other and making horse noises. He imitates said horrifying horse noises. Neigh! He tells us that the Marquesan men seemed to have the horses under control, but he was like, "No, this is not gonna work." Sean rides with his face squished into Akateeny's back. He then starts tapping on Akateeny's arm with a pained looking on his face saying, "Ma ba --", and then waits a few minutes, then says, "Ma ba --"again, then finally says, "Ma ba -- it really hurts." Even though he's in too much pain, evidently, to complete the word "balls," we determine that his balls are being squished, quite possibly under Akateeny's ass. Finally, Sean fixes the situation by adjusting himself or doing whatever it is men do when their balls are troubling them, and they ride off, with Sean still desperately clinging to Akateeny. He tells us that we have to remember that they're not on flat land, and if they fall off, "You're fallin' off a damn near mountain with a horse on you!" Hee. I don't know how much time has passed, but now Sean is on his own horse. As they ride along the trail he hysterically exclaims, "This is the kind of thing that scares me!"
In a confessional, Paschal tells us that it was a long ride for Sean, who wasn't used to horses. He says Sean loosened up and started singing "after [they] made some different arrangements." Of his balls? We hear Sean singing, "I'm chillin' on a horse with Marquesan men. Everybody knows that we wanna do it again!" Really, it's not much better than the Moppet's rapping efforts. Sean then gets excited because he hears drums. He begins screaming "Word!" and raising a fist in the air to the drum's beat. As they exit the trail and arrive at the beach, Sean yells to the waiting natives, "Marquesa forever!" They are helped from their horses -- indeed, Paschal is lifted from his -- and Sean says, "Aw, this is better than Gilligan's Island."
As a pretty woman puts a thick green lei around Sean's neck, he says, "Watchoo doin' afterwards?" And when did he become Joey Tribbiani? The girl, who is appropriately named "Layla" (as bestower of the leis, I mean) kisses both of Sean's cheeks and he squeals in response. He then says, "Hi, I'm Sean. You're very pretty. A little too young for me." Hee. In a confessional he tells us that "these two beautiful -- although young -- Marquesan women" led them to beach chairs with huge pillows and coconut drinks.
Wearing floral crowns, Paschal and Sean toast each other and wish their tribemates could see them now. Sean says, "Who knew that a little black boy from Harlem would be here with a judge..." and Paschal cuts him off to say, "A southern white judge --" which Sean then completes, "A southern white judge from Georgia!" Sean points out the "irony in that." In an interview, Paschal tells us that two days ago he would have mortgaged his house on Sean's being the voted off, but things have changed. He says Sean "may have some problems," but he's honest and straightforward, and that's all Paschal can ask for. Now Sean and Paschal discuss their relationship. Sean says that things started out "rocky" but they've come very far and "the sky's the limit for all of us." Paschal tells us that they became much closer than they were during the reward, and he feels very fortunate to know Sean. That's what he loves about the game -- it's impossible to know what's going to happen.
Sean now insists that he's ready to eat and says the reward can't get any better. Technically it could get better; he could already be eating right now instead of talking about being ready to eat. Can you tell I'm hungry? The two pretty girls approach and one says, "Follow me." She has an accent, though, and Sean assumes that she's speaking in her native language. He repeats, "fa-LOW-me?" as if she's just said something difficult and marvelous and like he's willing to learn this wonderful new word. He then realizes his mistake and says, "Oh! Follow you?" This may make the list of my top ten all-time favorite Survivor moments because it was so naturally funny. Also, the way Sean pronounced it sounds kind of exotic and smutty all at once.
Now they join the men of the tribe, who are hovering over their below-ground oven. They pull off a bunch of leaves to reveal a shiny, pink carcass. The Marquesans chant, and one says "pork" but it sounds like "puerk-a," so Sean says "puerk-a" a few times before realizing that it's just plain old pork. Sean explains in an interview that they'd been led to a "Marquesan oven," and that food has been buried and cooked underground with the heat and volcanic rocks. In addition to the roasted pig, there are plantains, potatoes, and roasted goat. Sean is very excited by the meat and Paschal can't believe it. He tells us in a confessional that there are no words to describe the "tribal rituals" of the Marquesan men. He says he just had to sit down, comprehend, and savor the moment, because it probably won't happen again in his lifetime. Unless he goes to a luau at a Hawaiian hotel, which should be close enough.
The Marquesan men now chant and dance in front of the food. After each word they chant, Sean yells, "Okay!" The men then say the word "botu" a few times, which may or may not refer to food, causing Sean to point and say, "And then botu over here." The Marquesans stand at attention while Sean prays and thanks God for the Marquesans and for Paschal's "lifelong friendship." Then, funk music plays as they chow down. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't need to see close-ups of the food going into their mouths. I don't need to watch their greasy, chewing lips, or the stringy pork pieces as they gnaw at them. I don't need to see the strings of spittle issuing forth from their mouths, or the chewed up food inside their mouths. Honestly, I'll believe they're eating without seeing the gross face-stuffing footage. In any case, Sean tells us that the meal was unbelievable after their diet on the island. He says they should have paced themselves a little more, but it was like "ahahahahahahahhaha" as he makes motions of stuffing food into his mouth. Now that I didn't mind. The drumbeats begin again and female dancers enter while Sean yells, "The ladies, the ladies, the ladies in the house!" Paschal and Sean toast each other with pieces of fried fish.
Now Paschal tells us that while they were enjoying the Marquesan feast, the other members of the tribe were probably fixing the "same old crap" they've been eating every say. Oooooh. Paschal said "crap." Of course, we immediately segue to Soliantu, where gooey coconut drips from the edge of the pot. We hear Kathy and Tammy agree that it's much better to eat just one meal a day.
I guess that's the best footage they could find of the rest of the tribe looking hungry and pathetic, because we're already back with a happily burping Sean, and Paschal who comments, "That means you enjoyed it!" Sean tells us that he didn't feel bad for the other members of the tribe because he and Paschal were smuggling food for them. We see footage of Paschal sneaking food into his napkin, and who did they really think they were fooling? Plus, it's kind of rude to steal food from your hosts and hostesses. Then again, a few starving actors and actresses probably made a killing off of dressing up like Marquesans, chanting a few meaningless phrases, and serving up a meal. Sean explains that he and Paschal had "a move," where they'd block each other, roll the piece of food up in a napkin, and stuff it in their pockets and bags. Paschal tells us they were then brought out in a circle to dance with the Marquesans, but his pockets were so stuffed with food that his pants were falling down. The chanting natives circle and chant around the thankfully still-clothed Paschal and Sean. Sean looks positively rabid in slow motion, while Paschal is a little less frightening. Then again, Paschal's a little less frightening than a bunny rabbit. Paschal voice-overs that being with Sean -- and from such different ways of life -- while experiencing this day has been incredible. He says he'll never hear another tribal drumbeat without remembering and smiling.
Now it's time to leave, and Sean proclaims the Marquesans his "brothers." He tells us that he could tell their dancing and rituals were authentic, even though he saw them later that week in plain clothes at the Marquesas Tiki Bar and Grille. Sean says that the Marquesans didn't care what order he was voted off in (as long as they got their generous Survivor check) and that "the love they gave us was real." As he hugs Akateeny goodbye, he doesn't know what to say. He tears up, then teaches Akateeny and his friends a new handshake. No one chokes on a hot dog, but the Marquesans spirit themselves away anyway and run back into the Island of Dreams or wherever it is that they came from, while Paschal and Sean clutch at each other and shed tears of joy.
The helicopter returns them to camp, and the other members of Soliantu greet them with happy waves. Sean tells us that he and Paschal missed their "island family" and received a welcome of hugs and kisses when they returned. He thinks the others were happy to see them, but once the sweaty, now rancid stolen food was revealed, "it was on." He compares the others to "roaches around the table" as they go at the food. Then Tammy makes a point of thanking only Paschal for bringing back treats. Actually, she might have thanked Sean too, but if she did, it was cut off by the editing. Sean tells us in a confessional that even though the others might vote him off, there's still a "human side" to the game. He says he was excited to bring them food because "the best victories are the ones you can share." I think $1,000,000 is a pretty awesome victory, though, and he's contractually forbidden from sharing that. Still, this is one of the first teacherly things I've heard Sean say.
It's now Day 27 and Sean looks pensive. The tribe is very excited by their breakfast of mango slices. I'm not sure whether Paschal and Sean returned to camp with mango, or whether the other managed to locate some. Or maybe they're being sarcastic and are not at all excited about the mango? I'm unsure. Still, Paschal says he'll never again let a banana get so ripe that he'll throw it away. Tammy tells us that she felt desperate this morning because she wasn't ready to leave the game. She talked to Rob, and they decided that their only chance to remain in the game was to gain Neleh and Paschal's allegiance. Tammy doesn't know if that will happen, but it's their only chance.
Now, Rob, Neleh, Tammy, and Paschal head off into the woods together. I don't know where the other members of Soliantu are during this exit, or if Tammy and Robert in any way think they're being discreet, but they're not. Paschal tells us that he and Neleh were approached because Rob and Tammy wanted to talk about "how the game has unraveled." Robert wants Neleh and Paschal to know that John wasn't speaking for the group. Paschal tells us this was a "final gasp," by Tammy and John, and that they denied being in cahoots with John. Robert argues that no one ever came to him and asked about his ties to John, so he doesn't want to be held accountable for anything John said. He's upset that Paschal and Neleh have "associated" him with the Rotu alliance.
Paschal tells us in a confessional that Robert's claims didn't seem sincere or make sense. We then see him point out to the others that they didn't exactly make a point of disassociating themselves from John, either. Robert and Tammy insist that they had no idea what John was telling the others. In a confessional, Robert complains that Paschal and Neleh don't believe him, but he's never lied to them. While Neleh rambles on about how bluebirds help her get dressed in the morning and little mice comb through her hair, Robert huffs that Paschal and Neleh will believe what they want to believe and he isn't going to change their minds. Tammy then pulls out their secret weapon, the "the bottom line": would Neleh and Paschal prefer to stand beside Sean and Vecepia in the final four? Paschal doesn't directly answer the question, but does say he wants to stand to people who never distorted the truth in order to manipulate him. Robert insists that Paschal can't say that without talking to him, because Paschal can't read his mind.
Robert tells us he won't "beg for anything," but the situation "seems a little personal" to him. He says he's had his say, and that's it. We then see him exit the group with the words, "When I'm on the branch just let me know," before sauntering off. Neleh tells us that Rob walked away because he didn't feel trusted; she says he's upset because they trust Sean and Vee more than they do him and Tammy. She blahs that he got "caught in his own game" and is now trying to manipulate them again, but she's not falling for it.
Now Robert hacks at a log with the machete as Neleh voice-overs that he is definitely pouting right now. She says he might need time to think because he has a "really bad attitude." We see Kathy approach him and invite him to the waterfall. He grumbles without looking up, "I got something that I gotta do." Really, it's pretty funny. He can go in the playpen to Neleh. He tells us in a confessional that the others don't like his grumpiness, but says, "Hey, I don't give a fat ass what you like." He says that's the way he is, and he couldn't care less if people don't like it. The others have to live with him for a few more days, anyway. He says if he wins immunity, he and his grumpiness will be around for longer than that.
In a confessional, Zoe calls Robert "a bull in the china shop." She complains that he's hard to deal with and does things only when he wants to. She's had enough of both him and Tammy. Now Robert and Zoe sit by the fire and Zoe says she doesn't want to cook on the green wood. Robert snaps that he's burning it all in the four days anyway because he cut it all. She answers, "Great, burn the whole house down," and he says again, "I'm burning it all!" I'm not sure what that argument was all about -- or even that it really was an argument -- but it definitely seemed contrary to me. Zoe now tells us that "to put it blunt," she has no intention of sticking with Tammy and Robert. She claims that she hasn't trusted them from the beginning, and has now started letting people know in "little ways" that she's no longer in the alliance and is "off on her own." She's a rogue Survivor!
In order to express her newfound free agency, Zoe decided to make shell jewelry for everyone in the tribe. She's still working on a few, and I bet they're the "few" intended for Robert and Tammy. Kathy receives her bracelet and squeals that Zoe is "darling." The others hover around while Zoe makes the jewelry, and Tammy looks on suspiciously. In a confessional she tells us that Zoe is "sucking up" because she thinks that if the others like her, they won't vote her out. We see Neleh saying, "How 'bout a bracelet or an armband?" She says she'd love a bracelet, but you know she's hinting that her vote's worth both. Tammy complains that Zoe's behavior is blatantly fake, and she can't understand how the others don't see that. Neleh hugs Zoe and calls her "the most tender-hearted person out here." She must mean aside from herself. Tammy and Robert watch the others fawn over Zoe with raised eyebrows.
Now Kathy and Paschal compete. Paschal looks nervous and Kathy cheers for him and then laughingly wonders, "What are we doing?" She doesn't move either foot before falling off; nor does Paschal, actually, but he falls more slowly and so wins. He's very surprised, and dances around (not lewdly) like a cartoon character who's had a match lit between his toes.
Neleh and Tammy are to go, and Peachy says, "Let's see if somebody can do the impossible and stand on these for more than a second." Neleh looks silly in her hat, and Tammy is all business. They both manage to take a series of steps, but then Neleh goes down. Peachy congratulates them both on their "good effort." Tammy moves on.
Now Sean and Zoe compete and Sean falls instantly, so Zoe doesn't have to do a thing.
The first heat of the semi-finals pits Vee against Paschal. Paschal seems to think he proved he was good at stilt-walking because he won a round, and struts cockily up to the ring. Sean is very supportive of Vee; he cheers for her to concentrate. This time they manage a couple of baby steps each, but then they both fall at the same time. Paschal's slow-falling method fails him, and he loses.
Zoe nods and smiles smugly at Tammy as they prepare to climb up on their stilts, while Tammy just glares. Zoe then loses complete control and does an aerial split, while Tammy continues advancing menacingly toward her. Peachy wants to know if Zoe's okay; he didn't know human legs could extend that far.
Now we're at the finals and it's Tammy against Vee, which is really no contest. Sean tells Vee to, "Do your thing, baby girl." Aw. Vee has greatly improved, but she's no match for the robotic Tammy, who has total control. At one point, Tammy just pauses and gives Vee a perplexed once-over, like, "Why aren't you falling yet? Shouldn't you be falling by now?" Then finally Vee does fall, and Tammy starts shrieking and yelling "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and obnoxiously punching her fists in the air. Peachy calls the victory "very much earned." and Tammy responds, "You have no idea how much I needed this." Except he probably does have an idea, since the tribe's every moment is recorded and watched by Peachy so he can take appropriate jabs at them during Tribal Council.
Peachy puts the necklace on Tammy and starts to say she can't be voted out, but she cuts him off with what is definitely the longest-ever victory scream ever on this show. Peachy points out that everyone else is vulnerable, and promises to see them soon. Incidentally, I would have enjoyed seeing some authentic Marquesan stilt fighting as demonstration, but that's asking too much when more important footage -- like Kathy standing under the waterfall -- already ends up on the cutting room floor. Although they did let us watch Charles the Masai Warrior poke Charles the Cow for the blood-drinking last season in Africa.
It's still Day 27 and the tribe returns to camp. Rob congratulates Tammy on her victory, and she doesn't want him to give up. They console each other. Paschal tells us that the "foregone conclusion" was that Tammy would be voted out, but that can't happen now, so Zoe and Robert are both under consideration. Zoe fishes as Neleh voice-overs that Zoe is a hard worker, but has a bigger chance of winning immunity than Robert. We turn to a clip of a whistling Robert while Neleh continues telling us that he has been depressed and exhibiting a horrible attitude, so it might "work out better" if he left instead of Zoe. Neleh says no one wants to be around him anymore, not even her imaginary playmate Elton. She and Elton think it's kind of funny though. Robert tells us he can "accept [his] fate," as long as everyone else can accept their fate when he makes his decision on the jury.
Tribal Trill. Jabba the Tribal Council Hut, and a furious-looking tiki. Peachy brings in John, who's looking fine, and a good bit like Paul Rudd. But did his ears grow? Peachy wants to momentarily put the votes aside and "gage" what it's been like for the S8. Peachy asks how Sean feels being out there "livin' on [his] own," and what is this, Survivor: The College Years? Sean chokes up because he's thinking about his mother. He says he won the challenge with Paschal because of his mom. Does that mean Paschal won the challenge because of Sean's mom, too? Sean tells Peachy that he didn't have a father, and that he's the man he is today because of his mother. Actually, he doesn't finish that sentence because he breaks down crying in the middle of it. He then says, "See, Jeff, man..." and tries to continue, but cannot.
Peachy asks if Robert has experienced any "revelations." Robert responds that the last three days have been his "days of reckoning." He's analyzed himself and the people around him, and then cites one person in particular as having denied her past actions and alliances because she's "suck[ing] up to the powers that be right now." He says he's seen people "looked upon as nobodies" become great players in the game, and that he came to the Marquesas with "pride, dignity, integrity, and a backpack," and he'll leave with all of those things, plus a few friends. He hopes he'll take those relationships through the rest of his days.
Peachy questions whether Zoe recalls a moment that stands out on a "deeper level," and Zoe responds that the way she's "conducted [her]self" has been difficult, but she's played hard and worked hard. She doesn't say she lied her ass off.
Peachy then tries to get Tammy to give away her immunity, but she says there's "no chance in hell" of that because she worked way too hard, and knows her butt is on the line. A clip of Robert looking disappointed is shown here, but I have no doubt he knew she wasn't about to hand over immunity to him.
Now the voting begins. Zoe wordlessly votes for Robert, then Robert turns around and votes for her. He says, "Maybe this will be my one valuable contribution to the tribe," which suggests to me that she accused him of not being useful around camp. We don't see who Sean votes for, but he says it's "strictly a strategy move," and he plans to see this person "on the other side." Tammy then fills out her whole voting paper with Zoe's name. She says, "I'm voting you out tonight because, well, I just don't like you." And as Zoe herself said last week, payback's a bitch.
Peachy goes to tally and -- if she's good -- maybe he'll let Neleh help sometime. Decision is final. Leave immediately. Blah, blah. The first vote is for Zoe, then Rob, then Zoe, then "Zo," who looks perplexed. Then Tammy's super-sized "Zoe" vote, and then a final vote for "Zoey" with little hearts drawn around it. Robert manages to look expressionless throughout this coup, but John doesn't look particularly pleased. Then again, he doesn't know Zoe voted against him yet. Zoe tells Soliantu, "Strength and honor," on her way off the set, and then Peachy tells the others not to give up or count themselves out, because they never know how the game will play out.
Cingular salutes Tammy for being such a hard-ass.
time on Survivor, the tribe gets hungry, so Kathy tries to "whack" a shark. Vee cries on her birthday, and Kathy does yet another big old belly flop.
As the credits roll, we know that everyone voted for Zoe. She is surprised to have been voted off so early, but that's the way it goes. She says she worked hard and played hard, then concludes, "Zoe is, uh, she's leaving. That's that I guess." She wishes us sweet dreams, blows a kiss, and then smiles coyly -- and horrifyingly -- at the camera.