Leave it to Mark Burnett. Just when you think you know how this game works, the unthinkable happens: Maraamu wins a challenge. And then they win another one. Because when Paschal and Neleh comprise half of any winning team, you just know there's some larger power at work. And when they comprise half of a winning team twice in a row...well, God may be still good (as Vecepia insisted last week), but Mark Burnett's always a fucker.
In any case, last week on Survivor, the tribes were switched up, and Peachy proclaimed it a new game for everyone. Rob, Sean, and Vecepia became members of the new Rotwo tribe, where they revolted against the worst four-letter word of them all: work. Sean and Rob complained, but Vecepia just "bunk[ed] that." The new Maraanu tribe (consisting of Sarah, Gina, Paschal, Kathy, and Neleh) lost yet another challenge and voted off Sarah, who then proudly discussed her fake breasts in a national publication.
Drums beat, and a many-legged insect scurries at Rotwo on Day 13. A very buff Tammy does push-ups, and a buffer-than-expected Zoe fetches water. Rob drinks from a coconut shell, makes a wincing face, and proclaims the beverage "kinda gross, huh?" He spits out the milk, and Tammy looks bothered. In a voice-over, Rob explains that the tribes were switched up three days ago, and that he's not happy about it. He says he had everything under control (and not to mention a fine piece of ass) at Maraamu, but he's suddenly in the minority because of the 5-3 original Rotu/original Maraamu breakdown of Rotwo. Now Zoe drinks from a coconut and proclaims it the "nectar of the gods."
Sean sleeps on the tribe's raft as Rob tells us in a confessional that Sean "definitely is done with the game." He says that Sean just lies around and doesn't try to fit in at all. But that's not any different from how he behaved before the switch-up, so Rob's point is lost on me. In any case, Rob is "definitely almost positive" that Sean will be the to go. If it's not Sean, Rob says, it will be himself or Vecepia, the latter of whom has the better chance because she's a good ass-kisser. He makes a big, smoochy sound to demonstrate said ass-kissing and grins, "You know what I'm sayin'?" Incidentally, officials at Boston University are currently reevaluating their admissions process. Immediately, we cut to a shot of Vecepia talking to Tammy; Vecepia's not puckering up, but she might as well be. Rob tells us that he wanted to try to make some kind of agreement or alliance with the former members of Rotu. We see Rob asking the others whether they consider the new Rotwos to be as much a part of the tribe as Neleh, Kathy, and Paschal were. As far as Tammy's concerned, the new members are Rotwos, and she says, "Right now, that's what we deal with." "Deal with" is the key there. Because who "deal[s] with" pleasant and wonderful things? "What we deal with," in that sentence, is just code for "crap we cannot change." Robert rambles on Dr. Seuss-like for a bit about who's more Rotwo than who. He concludes that since Rob's in the tribe now, he's full-fledged Rotwo, and The Moppet agrees. In a confessional, The Moppet acts like the former members of Maraamu just dropped a Coca-Cola bottle into the Rotu camp. He says that they "brought the game with them," and people are now corrupted by worries about how long they'll last. He drama-queens, "It's started here at our camp now." I think it started when they applied to be contestants on a game called Survivor, but The Moppet seems to have lost sight of that. Zoe and the former members of Maraamu head off on a hike as The Moppet explains to us that his first intention was to create a society with "seven strangers," and that things have completely changed since the switch. I now realize his problem: he thinks he's on The Real World Marquesas.
While the new members of the tribe are no doubt off lazing about somewhere, the original Rotus discuss how differently the two original tribes approached the game. Tammy thinks that Maraamu was cutthroat from the beginning (while Rotu is only getting cutthroat now), and proclaims it "really interesting;" John acts amazed that the other tribe has actually lied to each other. Robert, who always seems to be eating something, has a very protrusive lower jaw. He's also very cartoonish, and simian. I think I just described Magilla Gorilla. John says, "I mean, these are, like, real relationships," and Robert slaps him down, "Not like 'em. They are real relationships." John continues rambling that the game is about being honest and sticking to ethics. ["Is John from a planet where Survivor has never aired? Good lord." -- Wing Chun] The Moppet asks what the ethics of the game are, and John answers, "To me, it's tell the truth." The Moppet hacks at a coconut and shakes his head, and John asks, "Are you saying that you would lie to win this game?" The Moppet says that he's not even there to play the game. As he poses for the statue he expects they'll one day erect of him, he says, "I'm here for what we had; I'm here for that society that we had of eight people. I'm here to see if eight people from all over the country -- from eight different kinds of lives -- can come here and do this and live and be happy and build something amazing." I think The Moppet got a bad coconut. ["Is The Moppet from the same planet John came from? I mean, I know Rotu had a good run of it with the immunity, but he did realize that eventually those eight people would be whittled down to two, right? RIGHT?" -- Wing Chun] John isn't happy with this answer and asks again, "But would you lie to win the game?" The Moppet insists that he's not there to play the game, and John argues that he is there to play the game because he's there right now, playing the game. This whole argument is stupid: I mean, if The Moppet would lie to play the game, then why wouldn't he lie to John right now and cut the whole argument off at its knobby knees? But John's obviously looking to bump his competition and The Moppet's obviously looking to come off as some...well, commie pinko; so the argument goes on. Endlessly. In a confessional, John snits, "You're not here on a commune. You know, this is not the '60s, and you know, free love and all that kinda stuff." And speaking of that other beloved reality television program, I hope MTV has been listening, and at this very moment is casting The Real World Kibbutz. Now The Moppet sits alone cross-legged against a stump and stares at his hands while the other Rotwos sit together. John tells us in a confessional that after the switch, it should have been "game on" for Rotu, but he could tell immediately that something wasn't right. He determines to watch The Moppet carefully and "deal with him accordingly."
Are there dogs frolicking on this island? I think I saw a few.
Peaceful music brings us to Maraanu. Because its members may to varying degrees be scrawny and old (and in the case of one tribe member, quite possibly half-witted), but they have heart. They also have religion, and we join them as they pray. Gina tells us that the vibe after Sarah's exit was very good; she thinks the other members of Maraanu wanted Sarah gone as much as she did. She explains that they all bonded and knew their team was complete at that point. The tribe sits together and Neleh comments that it's nice and peaceful at Maraanu camp. It reminds Paschal of living in a "little ole country town." Kathy finds that hysterically funny for some reason. Oh yeah, she has no sense of humor. In a confessional, Neleh bugs her eyes out and says that they all have an energy and spirit that drives them to want to win. Gina, meanwhile, has a feeling that they'll be victorious in the challenge.
Paschal tells Kathy that, during the night, he kept hearing noises and thought it was crabs eating the tribe's basket. He seems a bit disturbed by this. It's not like they were teenage crabs and grinding, though, so I don't know why he's so bothered. Gina tells us that Kathy and Paschal were going to go get crabs ["hee hee hee" -- Wing Chun], and so she and Neleh offered to join them; she says it was their first act as a tribe that meant something. They creep very slowly through the woods as Kathy explains in a voice-over that they were under some acacia trees when "all of a sudden, these dudes -- these androids" appeared. She says they were just going back and forth, and imitates them. Either that, or a typewriter. She tells us that the crabs were very easy to catch, and this is followed by sped-up footage of the last few moments of the crabs' lives. Defensive, preyed-upon scuttling crabs are not nearly so entertaining as frolicking crabs going about their daily business. Gina thinks it's "hilarious" that the crabs think they're hiding from their attackers. A crab pinches Kathy, who miraculously does not pick it up and pinch it back. The four Maraanus chase and bag crabs; Kathy tells us they got a total of twelve, and that "the crabs then came back to camp." The advent of the crabs to camp sounds very ominous, but then nothing much happens. I was expecting a major crab revolt once they hit Maraanu, but all I got was one measly crab momentarily escaping from Kathy. Neleh dumps the crabs into boiling water as Kathy explains in a voice-over that they cooked the crabs, but it unfortunately takes a lot of effort to get the meat out. Unless you're born and bred in Maryland, in which case you can pick a crab faster than you can say "down'ee ocean, hon." Still, Kathy explains that the reward of "fresh, lumpy crab meat" is huge. A close-up of a big hunk of crab meat looks appetizing, but a pile of picked-at crab carcasses...not so much. Kathy tells us they were "pickin' away" at everything that was edible, and we see a huge plate full of crab meat. Kathy explains they ate huge spoonfuls of the crab meat and weren't "dainty at all." And if you've ever eaten crabs, "dainty" is not the word you'd use, even under the most civilized conditions. Gina says, "You couldn't ask for anything better," but Neleh thinks maybe some crackers would be nice. It's slightly sickening to see a happy Neleh; but then, a sad Neleh is kind of sickening too. Neleh's just a little bit off. In any case, they all comment on how delicious the crab is, and Kathy posits that it's a "morale booster." Not for the other crabs on the island, I'll bet. In a confessional, Gina says they all have the winning spirit, adding, "It's our time." Paschal promises us that they'll win today. If not, he'll dress up like a pilgrim and run up and down the beach waving a flag. Oh, wait -- he'll do that anyway.
Suddenly, it's challenge time. Wait...no clue? And it's not even my birthday! The tribes approach, and I'm guessing at this point that there's some sort of penalty if they lose physical contact with each other. Peachy points out that Sarah is out of the game and Maraanu is down to four people, while Rotwo still has a full tribe of eight. The camera pans to Rob's face as if to show his reaction to the announcement that Sarah is gone, but I'm betting that even Rob could tell who was missing from Maraanu without Peachy's narration.
Peachy explains that today's reward challenge will require teamwork and trust. Four "tikis" for each tribe have been "deconstructed" (and I know I spent too long in academia when my immediate first thought was of cigarette-wielding graduate students discussing the tikis' latent homosexuality) and scattered in the surrounding area. Three members of each tribe will be blindfolded, and a fourth member will be the tribe's "set of eyes." These callers will direct their blindfolded members to the tiki pieces in the field. Once the fourteen pieces are returned to the starting point by the blindfolded players, they can remove their blindfolds and -- along with their caller -- begin reassembling the tikis. The first tribe with four properly constructed tikis wins the reward, which Peachy says "is a big one." He explains that the winning tribe will visit the losing tribe's beach, "and then gets to basically raid the camp." Oohing and aahing and "oh my God"-ing ensues, along with Kathy's ear-splitting laughter. Peachy thinks this reward is a "chance to get in this game" for Maraamu, and "a chance to put the nail in the coffin" for Rotwo.
Vecepia, Sean, Rob, and Zoe are chosen to sit out for Rotwo. Blindfolding shots follow, and Peachy swats at John's face to make sure he's not faking it. Or maybe it's just fun to swat at John. Tammy, John, and Robert line up side by side holding hands, because it's much easier to pick things up while holding hands. Tammy insists that it will be fun, and Robert unconvincingly says, "Yeah, this is fun." Magilla Gorillas don't like chasing tikis while blindfolded. The callers are The Moppet and Kathy, obviously.
So the challenge begins, and so does the shouting, stumbling, shuffling. Sadly, it's scuttle-free. The Moppet yells directions at John while the others presumably just stand around. Then John appears to be without directions for all of a second and panics, repeatedly saying, "Gabe?...Gabe?" Kathy tells Paschal to take a right when she means a left. She then tells him he's "sitting on it" when he's near a tiki. Paschal trips on a stump while Gabe yells, "Hear my voice? My voice?" to his flailing tribemates. It reminds me of the time when my parents took us to Lake George in New York for vacation and we stayed at a lodge that modeled itself after Kellerman's in Dirty Dancing except it was about twenty years too late for that sort of organized activity to go over, and we didn't enjoy sitting with the mulleted family we were paired up with during every meal, or the wasp-infested tennis courts. And after dinner they had "shows," including a ninety-year-old tutu-ed woman and her "trained" poodles, and a hypnotist who couldn't pronounce the "v" sound and instead kept insisting that we "listen to [his] woice!" But I digress.
Back at the challenge...throughout the field are also scattered various other items like logs and oars which are confusing to the blindfolded competitors. Robert really wants a log to be a tiki, but The Moppet finally convinces him to put it down. Neleh wipes out, and Kathy actually apologizes. On the sidelines, Zoe hits Sean, and they laugh, apparently because Neleh fell. Hee. Meanwhile, The Moppet may or may not be playing with his nipples. Robert and Tammy plow into each other, and Rob on the sidelines is so amused by all of this. Kathy yells, "Right, right, right!" and Neleh snaps, "Who, right?" making for one pissed-off and still possibly half-witted Sweetpea. Paschal and John play a little game of "Miss Lucy had a Steamboat" while trying to get around each other. Kathy yells for Paschal to move, but he's just sort of slapping at John, who stands in his way. Finally, they get past each other and The Moppet tells John to go straight for "ten feet" which can't be easy to gauge when you're blindfolded. Suddenly, John cuts across the screen with both arms raised in front of him, high-footing it, and he also looks like a Thriller zombie, just as Vecepia did a few weeks back, so maybe these people saw the video on the plane over.
Finally, John returns with a tiki and The Moppet thinks it's the last one they need. The sidelined Rotwo members immediately start counting while The Moppet keeps yelling that the piece John brought back is the last one. He's just about to tell the tribe to remove their blindfolds when Peachy points out that they only have thirteen pieces and are missing one. The Moppet still insists on counting them himself. When he realizes that are indeed short a tiki, he searches for it desperately, but can't find it. Finally, he spots it hiding behind a tree and sends a zig-zagging John on his way. John artfully steps over a fallen tree, so I'm wondering now if he can't see at least a little. Meanwhile, the members of Maraanu have collected all of their tikis, removed their blindfolds, and begun the assembly process. As John returns to the starting point with Rotwo's errant tiki, he runs through Maraanu's space and nearly takes down two of their semi-erected tikis, which would have been an interesting twist. Kathy, incidentally, calls the tiki pieces "this guy" and "that guy." Now the members of Rotwo remove their blindfolds and almost appear to catch up, but despite Kathy's bossy ineffectiveness and constant shrieking, Maraanu wins anyway. Peachy proclaims the tribe victorious, and they're happy with the smiling and the jumping and the yelling. Rotwo, meanwhile, looks pissed. Peach says they'll head over to Rotwo's camp, and advises, "Maraamu, prepare to raid." It's good to see Maraanu win for once, but it's better to see people tripping over each other.
Maraanu travels via speedboat to Rotwo's camp; they then disembark and hold hands as they wade to shore. For the record, they don't actually hold hands while attempting to collect items from Rotwo's camp. As Peachy welcomes them, he says there are certain things they must leave during the two-minute raid: one knife, one cooking pot, one water container, the magnifying glass, and any personal items. Which eliminates the taking of the picture of Tammy's "picture of fiancé and dog." "Anything else," Peachy says, "is fair game." The theme from Pac-Man may or may not play in the background as Maraanu begins gobbling up power pellets in search of the roving pretzel. Rotwo stands in a line and watches. Maraanu goes for the fins, food, and blankets; Gina shakes a coconut before deciding to take it. They also score what looks like a trove of vegetables. Hey, where'd those come from? As the competition comes to a close, Rotwo looks less and less pleased by the situation. Paschal kisses Gina, and the Moppet looks upset, although I don't believe the two are related. Then John and The Moppet console each other, which is ironic in light of later events. Peachy tells Maraanu to gather their new belongings, because the boat is waiting for them. Someone on Rotwo yells, "Bye, pirates!" which is kind of funny, then Rob starts smacking the frying pan against his leg, which makes a clanking sound. Is he made of metal or something? He yells that they forgot the pan, and Kathy laments having left it behind because she knows no mercy.
Rotwo recovers in the aftermath of the looting. Tammy's an ass-kicker, I think. And I like 'er. Rob looks very put out, which is kind of silly since he didn't actually earn any of the things Rotwo lost. In a confessional, Robert tells us that the raid was like the rug being pulled from beneath his hairy feet. Tammy attempts to stop the other members of the tribe from wallowing in self-pity, and suggests that they split up to gather what they'll need for dinner. In a confessional, Vecepia talks about facing adversity and being at a weak point, and I was sure there'd be some God or Jesus reference thrown in, but instead she talks about the importance of coming together as a unit. We see as Vecepia offers, for the first time, to do something around camp; well technically, she's kind of asked to do it, but she doesn't argue or make a fuss about it. Vecepia thinks the looting was the perfect opportunity for the tribe to "mesh." The Moppet pulls some roots out of his pockets and hands them to Sean, which is supposed to represent "mesh[ing]," I suppose. Something or someone yodels.
Now the members of Maraanu are back at their camp, and Kathy tells us that they had a great time bringing their booty to shore. We see her exclaim because they now have Rotu's crate lid as a cutting board. Kathy tells us that they relished every item they took from Rotwo, but she's more excited that they put a "dent in the big tribe" and that the others will finally "experience a loss." How big of her. Neleh is particularly happy for Gina because "she doesn't know what it feels like to win." I'm sure Gina has, at some point in her life, experienced a win. Actually, she had the biggest win of all...Watermelon Queen! Gina points out their new stuff, and is particularly excited by "all their hot peppers." Despite their new belongings, they're still just standing around eating the fruit from their own camp. Neleh has a cute new red bathing suit. Red bathing suits look good on half-wits, and it helps you spot them when they go missing in the woods. Paschal recalls the old saying, "They took everything but the kitchen sink" and concludes, "I think we took the kitchen sink." Kathy tells us in a confessional that this latest win beat anything she experienced at Rotwo.
A big crab sits beside a little crab. The little crab mixes it up like it's scratching a record, and from what we see , the crab has a better sense of rhythm than The Moppet, who is clinging to a teddy bear and attempting to rap. Sean and Vecepia encourage him with straight faces, while Rob looks bemused. While Sean accompanies him on the "bass," The Moppet raps:
Now chillin' on my rap in the South Pacific
Lookin' at my home is gonna be terrific
Got a little taro cooking on the stove
Got a lotta love in my little shack home
Living out here in Survivor Four
Never been south of the equator
What makes this display even more painful is that The Moppet raps with some bizarre accent; also, as the others encourage him, he becomes more and more confident until you get the sense that he somehow believes that he's actually good at it. Oh, and I did think he said "Got a little tail cooking on the stove" which amused me for a while but then the rapping-induced pain took over. Thankfully, we cut away from this multi-sensory assault as The Moppet tells us in a confessional that he loves the new members of the tribe. Back at camp, Tammy is sitting to him all of a sudden, so either she's just joined the group or The Moppet rapped on multiple occasions, which alone would be grounds for voting him out. Zoe's there, too, while John snits and works in the background because no one asked him to rap, and he does a mean Snow. The rap continues:
The challenges!
Immunity!
We never know the day who we [sic] gonna be
Cause we're Rotwo
And we can do
So let's have a rap
Let's have some little...
Now The Moppet's added fly hand motions and thuggish expressions, and luckily a voice-over from John spares us the rest of the song. John tells us he's noticed The Moppet spending "lots and lots of time" with the new members of the tribe. He tells us that The Moppet had said in an earlier conversation that he would vote the newest members out first so that Rotu could return to being "one happy family." John wants to confirm that The Moppet plans to keep his word; if he does, then John is fine with keeping The Moppet around.
Now John, The Moppet, and Tammy discuss The Moppet's voting intentions. John asks whether The Moppet will vote off former Maraamus first, and The Moppet grabs his package as he responds that he never said that. He adds, "I'm not here for anything that I can't show to everybody." And who knows what that means. He did just show everybody that he likes to grab his package. John asks, "So your goal isn't to put the eight back together again?" and The Moppet insists that he'll deal with voting people off as it comes; he refuses to definitively say for whom he will or will not vote. This conversation was either completely nonsensical and these two just happen to be on the same bizarre wavelength, or else it's been poorly edited. John doesn't care what The Moppet says to John's face, because, he claims, "You're gonna play your own game." The Moppet argues that he's not playing his own game, and John snits, "But I think you are." The Moppet says, "No, I'm not," and John says, "Yes, you are," and The Moppet says, "No, I'm not," and John says, "Yes, you are," and The Moppet says, "No, I'm not," and John says, "Yes, you are," and The Moppet says, "Yes, I am," and John says, "No, you're not....Darn it!" In a confessional, John tells us that after this conversation, he thought of The Moppet, "No, you're done. You're not safe anymore." The Moppet tries to save his ass by insisting that the situation has been "misconstrued," and that he does plan to keep his word and inform the others of how he'll vote. John asks again if they're trying to put Rotu back together, and we don't hear The Moppet's response. Tammy tells us in a confessional that John pushed The Moppet too far, and that he's still got a chip on his shoulder about it. Tammy makes the arguing men hug, but clearly nothing has been resolved, as John tells us that it's important to get rid of The Moppet right away, and that John has started to "devise a plan to be able to do that." He mentions nothing about smelling a rat, or finding a snake. Said plan may or may not, however, involve the eventual use of his "gut."
, Tracey Flick bakes some cupcakes and begins politicking around the school in her campaign to become student body president. Except it's John, and he's approaching the other members of Rotwo with nothing to offer except his "word." Okay, so maybe he and Tracey Flick have nothing in common except one thing: being annoying. But that's enough. John tells Robert that he's seeking four people who will not vote against him no matter what. He admits that he doesn't have any of those people yet -- and he doesn't know if it's "an alliance, an agreement, or whatever." Robert says he has no intention of voting for John, and adds, "So don't worry about me." Robert doesn't really look John in the eye, though. Then John grabs at Robert's hand and says he'll give Robert "the same word back." He's serious when he says that, and explains that it means he "will not write [Robert's] name down." Robert looks distinctly noncommittal to me, but John seems to think they're in "one hundred percent" agreement.
I notice that Zoe's looking really pretty these days as John moves on to offer her a cupcake. He explains that his intended final four is comprised of him and her, along with Robert and Tammy. Zoe gives her support, and he says that if he doesn't have her support, then he's screwed. I'd resent being challenged like that, but Zoe doesn't. I expected better of her, but there's time yet.
Tammy is not interested in the cupcakes; she's all about the issues. John insists that he isn't "playing" her, and that he doesn't know anything he can do besides "split [his] hand open, throw blood on [her]" to prove it. I don't know how doing either of those things would prove anything at all, since John is prone to doing both of those things accidentally anyway. John insists that he has Tammy's back, and that she's his partner. She doesn't say, "Does that mean I get to be Vice-President and leave campus for lunch?" John makes a big fuss over swearing on his "mother's fuckin' life." Tammy threatens to kick his ass if she finds out he's lying, and I can just see Tammy pounding on a squealing John. He says, "I mean, who's gonna stand here and say that they're gonna swear on their mother's life? Who's gonna say...what kind of creep is gonna do that?" The John kind, obviously. ["I was really hoping they'd cut to a John interview in which he added, 'Oh, my mom? She's dead.'" -- Wing Chun] In a confessional, John tells us that he knows he now has the other three allied with him, and that he's only worried about losing the day's immunity challenge. John and The Moppet pat each other's backs. The treachery!
We're now at Maraanu on Day 14. Kathy, Gina, and Neleh check the mail; Kathy coos, because it's "so simple." The clue is written on a long strip of paper, and it's about getting attention and keeping the tribe alive. Basically, they are advised to build a distress signal (with the artful condition of "except no fire you can blaze"), and the tribe that hears a ship's horn will be the victors. Kathy exclaims, "Yes, we can do this!" and doesn't, for once, say something like, "Good thing my signal-building skills are so good." Neleh tells us in a confessional that they're really excited and plan to make their camp as colorful and creative as possible to win immunity. As they walk back, they brainstorm; Kathy thinks a red triangle signals distress, but Gina corrects her that it's a black triangle. Neleh, meanwhile, thinks that rhythmic dancing will catch the judge's attention. Gina suggests that they use a red sheet with black ash smeared on it and Kathy points in agreement. Kathy accepts suggestions and corrections surprisingly well, if they come from Gina. In a confessional, Gina jokingly thanks Rotwo for all of the new supplies, which will certainly come in handy during the challenge. The happy la la la la la la music plays as the tribe works. Paschal opens something that I think at first is a bunch of diapers, but turn out to be the foam inserts from the life vests. Neleh puts one around her neck and cracks up over it. Because that's what half-wits do. In a confessional, Gina tells us that she wants to win for two reasons: to avoid Tribal Council, and also to send the other team there, where she hopes they will vote off a former member of Maraamu. As the tribe works on their signal, the camera pulls away and we hear them yelling, "Goodbye, Sean!" "Goodbye, Rob!" "Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!" Hee.
By now, the members of Rotwo have also retrieved their clue; they seem to be stuck on the fact that they cannot use fire in the signal. They also realize that they don't get to pick who sits out; by the rules of the game, the four who will compete must be the four who didn't compete in the reward challenge: Rob, Vecepia, Sean, and Zoe. Tammy tells the tribe that they should definitely plan on using their magnifying glass, and John gives her the hand and says, "Hey? Did you help yesterday? You can't -- you, you are not involved at all." Harsh. Tammy can't believe she isn't even allowed to talk. Sean actually puts forth a good idea -- that the tribe collect and lay out all the materials they plan to use. Robert explains in a confessional that Maraanu might have really won two challenges by winning the raid, because they stripped Rotwo of the materials they would otherwise have used -- especially the white blankets. Vecepia, too, laments the loss of the white blankets and it's a good thing she said that and not someone else because I'd hate to hear what Sean would have to say about it. Zoe tells the others to think about what they have, and not worry about what the others have. I'd like to hear more from Zoe, but she's clearly reasonable, likable, and normal, and thus not worth the wasted footage. She suggests building a structure, and Rob says that they should use orange on a white background. The rest of the tribe thinks a black background would be better. Robert worries in a confessional that the people competing for Rotwo are not "the most creative that [they] have in the group." A gong sound accompanies footage of Rob stretching. Because stretching is not creative. John and Robert look on in dismay as their teammates work; then Robert says that their "immunity fate" lies in the hands of three ex-Maraanus, and Zoe. He has full confidence in Zoe, though, because she's "been a seafaring woman her whole life." He explains that Rob and Sean have sat out both challenges so far, and that this is the first time they're competing; a lot is riding on their being victorious.
Now Sean and Rob sit side by side. Sean has his navy socks pulled up to his knees. In a voice-over, he tells us that "the consensus" is to get rid of The Moppet. He thinks it was a surprising mistake for John to share that information, and says that if the others plan to vote for Gabe, "they needed to just do it," and continue to let him think he'd be . He points out that the original members of Rotu are turning on one of their own, and that it doesn't negate the bond Sean has with his former Maraamu teammates. He thinks the former members of Maraamu now have the upper hand, and concludes, "All I'm sayin' is, stay tuned." Rob points out that they have a shot to go into Tribal Council evenly divided if they can align with The Moppet.
This conversation is interrupted by the boat's approach. Suddenly, we're on deck with Peachy, who is wearing a Survivor baseball cap like the dork that he is. He introduces us to the French boat and the French captain and tells us, "If you were marooned on an island, the one thing you'd wanna see passing by is a ship like this one." I'd think any kind of ship would suffice, but Peachy seems stuck on the French one. He re-explains the challenge, and says that the "expert opinion" of the ship's captain will determine which signal is more effective.
The Rotwos scream and wave orange flags; Rob blows a whistle; and don't ask me where they got a whistle, because I don't know. The Moppet looks pained not to be able to participate in his society. Rotwo's signal is very difficult to see from the boat, and it may have something to do with their darker-colored rocky beach and the trees in the background. Peachy asks the captain's opinion; the captain is not very impressed. He points out the plants and trees and then immediately wants to seek out the other camp. The ship leaves, and Rob keeps blowing the whistle. They realize that the ship didn't sound, and are surprised and disappointed.
Victorious music is already playing for Maraanu, where the tribe members are dressed up like pilgrims. Paschal says, "I've always said not for a million dollars would I do this," and I'm not sure what he's talking about...dressing up like a pilgrim? Neleh tells us she made him wear a hat. Haven't we already seen Paschal wearing a hat? Gina says, "Hot damn!" and Paschal threatens to kill "the pixie." They have used a big neutral-colored tarp, and painted a red bull's-eye in the middle of it. They are also wearing spats. Who knows why? Paschal explains that their "ace in the hole" is his American flag. He says that if they flag can't do it, nothing can. He doesn't say, "The flag! The flag! He's our man!" As the boat approaches, Paschal runs along the shoreline with the flag while Gina and Neleh walk with the tarp. Meanwhile, Kathy waves a huge pole with many flags tied to the end of it. The captain is immediately impressed to see "every color red on the sand." He points out the red pole and American flag and says, "They attract me." Peachy urges him to make a decision, and the captain decrees Maraanu the winner. On shore, the tribe appears to be slightly demoralized; Kathy yells for help, while Neleh screams at the ship to blow its horn. Gina still looks very hopeful, but also a little sad. Suddenly, the horn sounds and the tribe goes coconuts. They drop the tarp and flag and giant pole and shriekingly have a group hug. We briefly see Rotwo realizing that they've lost, and Zoe says they did the best they could. Back at Maraanu, the boat drops the crated immunity idol way out at sea, and the tribe has to swim out and get it. Good thing they have Rotwo's fins.
Back at Rotwo, The Moppet stretches. His stretching is not accompanied by a gong sound, but by peaceful New Age-y music. Vecepia has her hair pulled down over her face; Zoe approaches and says, "Who is that under there?" which is funny, and the best kind of moment on a show like this. Rob tells John he's feeling better, but I don't remember -- was he sick? John explains that if it's a normal merge, the new Rotwos will stick together and take out the other tribe. The worst any of them will do, then, is seventh place. Rob thanks John for including him, and John says, "Well, we're all one tribe." In a confessional, though, Rob tells us he doesn't believe John. Rob thinks John is "slick," and says he has a plan to get rid of John. Rob talks to Sean about needing to figure out a way "to spin it" in order to gain The Moppet's trust. Sean explains that if they can ally with The Moppet, they'll vote off John: "If you get rid of the head, and then we have numbers, then the rest may fall." I don't know if I'd call John "the head." "The ass" is a more likely description, but then Rotwo is a many-assed animal. Sean talks about the breakdown of Rotwo and, for the umpteenth time, concludes that "unless there's a shakeup," either he or Rob is going . Do you think either Rob or Sean will go ? Because I'm not quite convinced.
Now The Moppet and Rob hide in the tent. Rob says his vote will be determined by his conversation with The Moppet. Rob asks whether The Moppet is 100% set in the way he wants to play the game, and explains that if The Moppet is okay with leaving , then he can't argue with that. But if The Moppet is willing to consider other options, then there's room for discussion. We don't hear anything of what The Moppet says because the editors want us to be surprised. We only hear Rob say that the conversation is "definitely a twist." He asks The Moppet not to tell anyone about its content. In a confessional, The Moppet reveals that Rob told him he was likely to be voted out during Tribal Council. He says he knew he could only get so far playing the game in his own way, but now he has another chance, which makes it look like he'll ally with the former Maraamus, which basically -- for those of us in the Survivor know -- tells us that he won't. In a confessional, John wishes he hadn't "hatched [his] plans" so quickly with Sean and Rob. By the way, the former Rotus all call Rob by his full name so as not to confuse him with Robert, but it comes out really fast as one word, "Robmariano." John is concerned that the others are plotting something against him, and he isn't sure that his plan to eject The Moppet will be successful. He says that if The Moppet does get voted off, John will be "sitting in a really great spot." If not, and John is the one to go, he'll at last have a good meal that evening. The Moppet digs into his butt crack as he and John debate whether they really need to bring all of their possessions to Tribal Council. John tells us that this vote will be the most "pivotal" of the game so far. For The Moppet, anyway.
The tribe arrives at Jabba the Tribal Council Hut. Peachy tells the old Maraamus to remain seated while the others light up, because the former Maraamus already have "personalized torches" from their prior trips. Peachy welcomes Rotwo as a tribe and says they've had a "pretty interesting first fifteen days." He points out their original winning streak, and then quickly turns to the tribe's recent losses. Peachy wants to know what their mood is, and Tammy says that they're still upbeat as a tribe, and that they had to lose some time. She remains optimistic, though. Peachy asks Zoe who among the tribe is "the jester," and Zoe says that "just a little giggle" from The Moppet turns her frown upside down. The Moppet grins, because that's what moppets do. Peachy asks whether The Moppet trusts the members of his tribe; The Moppet answers, "Is trust the biggest member of our tribe? No." Which is an oddball answer which I guess should not be that unusual coming from...well, an oddball. He explains that they are there to play the game and win a million dollars, and that trust is fleeting because there can only be one winner. Peachy wants to know whether the tribe has a leader, and John says that of everyone, he's stepped up. Sean borrows Neleh's bug eyes to express amazement and disbelief. John says he wouldn't call himself a leader "like most people would think," but that he has definite leadership qualities. Peachy wants to know whether it's good to be a leader, and John thinks that "coming out of the shadows and into the light" puts him at risk. Peachy asks how confident John is about not going home tonight, and John cackles that that's "an evil question." John honestly feels pretty confident that he's staying, but adds that he knows anything is possible. Finally, Peachy asks what Rob's voting criterion is, and Rob says he'll vote in his own best interest. Peachy questions whether it is indeed an individual vote, and Rob answers, "All votes, when it comes down to it, are individual votes." He says that, ultimately, people are only looking out for themselves at Tribal Council, making for one sensible statement apiece, in this episode, from Rob and Sean, shattering my entire belief system.
So on with the voting. John votes for The Moppet because he proved himself untrustworthy; John says that the game is too far along to be "wishy-washy." As Rob shuffles up to the voting urn, I realize he would have been perfectly cast as Joey's mugger in the recent "special" episode ofDawson's Creek. Tammy also votes for The Moppet, saying, "You're not here to play the game. You don't care about the money. And I'm here to play the game. And I care about the money." That's all we see, which is unusual. At the least, we'd usually see the ejectee's vote to throw us off his track.
Oh, I never noticed that the voting urn has cute little feet. How very Kate Spade of it. Peachy reads The Moppet's name, and The Moppet winces pronouncedly. After hearing his name a second time, The Moppet winks. Third time? He looks pissed off. Fourth time? Mischievous and smiley. He may or may not be trying to make a different face every time his name is called. In any case, the fifth vote means it's Moppet no more. Rob grins as The Moppet turns in his torch. It looks like The Moppet tries to tell Peachy how and when to extinguish his torch, which wouldn't be that unlikely. He exits without feeling himself up, and then Peachy snits to the remaining Rotwos that they just voted out a strong, spirited, hard worker. He wonders aloud how it will play out, and then sends them home.
week on Survivor, Rob wants to know if it looks like he has the word "stupid" written on his forehead. He should just look in a mirror.
As the credits roll, we see that everyone voted for The Moppet, except The Moppet himself, who voted for Rob. He tells the tribe that he misses them already, and that Survivor was a fantastic experience. He thinks his exit is "perfect timing," because he came to "experience" the game, not "play" it. Oh, Moppet: noble, true to his principles, and stupid as all get-out.