First and foremost, thanks to Wing Chun for overnight-ing a tape from Toronto to Baltimore because my VCR horked. ["Aw." -- Wing Chun] Now you can all have a recap, and I can have fun with Canadian commercials!
Last week on Survivor, Lex Loser's gut instinct and sense of smell led him to blame Kelly for Teresa's vote in the Tribal Council. Brandon joined the Cult of Lex, and turned on his Samburu roots.
It's now Day 25, and Lex Loser's face is superimposed over a moon; then day breaks, and his face fades away. The editors are getting clever with these "special" effects. Brandon picks at his eye boogers, and then Lex Loser tells us that camp has been grim since the evening's "emotion-packed" Tribal Council. He explains that there are now two divisions within Mofo Maji: those who voted against Lex, and those who voted against Kelly. He says that the tribe is waiting for the "smoke and ash" to settle before they figure out what's going on. In New York, they're still waiting for the smoke and ash to settle. Sigh. In any case, Lex Loser insists that the biggest issue the S8 face in the game is trust, meaning, "Who do you trust, and who do you believe?" He philosophizes, "When you think about it, in life, that's kind of the foundation that you base everything on." We see dramatic headshots of the other members of the tribe. Frank slaps at his arm, but a deer antler would probably come in much handier for those hard-to-reach itches. A praying mantis-like bug snares a fly and gobbles it up. A dust cloud stirs itself up into a little tornado. Two gazelles flee a scene. Any scene. And then a monkey just sits there looking harmless. One of these things is not like the other ones. If I had to guess, I'd say the monkey had something up his sleeve. If he had a sleeve.
We join Ethan and Lex Loser as they gather firewood together. Ethan says he doesn't trust Brandon because he so willingly turned on his friends in the vote against Kelly. Lex Loser responds, "That's what they say." Which means, I suppose, that he's pretending to question whether Brandon ever allied himself with Kimp and Teresa? In a confessional, Kimp explains that Brandon's vote was shocking because she's trusted Brandon for "twenty-four straight days." She doesn't further explain that twenty-four straight days is a long time...in the life of an African fruit fly. Kimp continues that she thought Brandon was her friend and she had completely believed that he was being true to her. She says, "I'm really burnt up today for sure. I mean, I can't understand it." Kimp emphatically tells Kimj and Teresa how she was set up by Brandon, and then she grabs her face like she's smearing something on it. It's not pretty, but it appropriately demonstrates her significant angst.
In a confessional, Ethan tells us that Brandon and Lex Loser have developed a "supposedly strong bond." This is followed by a conversation between Lex Loser and Ethan (the latter of whom is wearing his innocuous little glasses -- he could never be a member of Elisabeth's family) in which Ethan points out that Brandon may be loyal to Lex Loser, but that he doesn't have any allegiance to the other members of the Boran alliance. Lex Loser insists, "Brandon saved our skin." He says he won't forget that, and crazy-eyes, "If I think that both Brandon and Frank are sure bets to vote for each other, I'll vote for the guy that did me a favor, not for the guy that's been trying to screw me." This week, he counts on his own fingers because Tom isn't around.
Segue to Lex Loser whispering to Kimj and Ethan about having been forced to save their asses in the Tribal Council because Kelly wasn't going to help them. He then tries to claim that he ate some bad cornmeal that compromised the decision-making abilities of his gut. Actually, he blames the other members of Boran as he says that he regrets the choice now, but that he acted because someone had to. He guilt-trips, "I do not want to make that decision anymore. It's a position I didn't ask for in the first place, and I've been put in it and I don't like it." There's manic finger-pointing throughout this statement. Kimj punctuates the finger-pointing with exclamations of agreement, but I think her response might be patronizing. Anyone who believes that Lex Loser didn't want to be the tribe's decision-maker deserves to be voted out. Kimj deserves to be voted out anyway. Not that I don't like Kimj, but this game is called Survivor, and she couldn't survive a trip to the Mondawmin Mall Division of Motor Vehicles here in Baltimore. Lex Loser continues preaching about the tribe being full of nothing but doubt and lack of trust. He insists, "You guys need to help me figure this one out; I'm not gonna do it by myself."
Ethan tells us in a confessional that Lex Loser is 100% confident that Brandon will be loyal to him until the end, but that Ethan and Tom are not convinced. Ethan's hair is looking awfully snaky these days. It's cool hair, but lately it's been straddling the line between cool and creeping me out. Tom, who looks really thin this week -- for Big Tom, that is -- loses another piece of his already meager grasp on the English language this week. As he and Frank hold opposite ends of a water-carrying pole, he says, "Waiting on these women is same all time no matter if you're in Africa, in 'Ginny, New York...you still gotta wait on 'em." Frank thinks it would take twice as long if the women had a mirror. I guess Clarence didn't leave his compact behind when he was voted off. Tom says, "And how many we got in there? Three?" to which Frank responds, "Too many." Tom is amazed that they've "got three damn women and it's still thirty minutes!"
This conversation is followed by a gratuitous shot of some female body part being washed. After a few viewings, I've determined that the anatomy being squeegeed here is the bottom of Kimp's seated upper thigh. Tom does a little jig by the water hole. It's very cute, and if you missed it, you should be sorry, because you would have enjoyed it. Teresa's bathing suit is from the 1930s. Brandon watches the bathing, and tells us in a voice-over that things have been tense around Mofo Maji because he went against his group the night when he voted Kelly off. He knows that the old Samburu tribe is not pleased with him, but explains, "I wasn't gonna to align myself with Frank. That wasn't gonna happen, and they should have known better than that." He insists that he would rather go home in three days than have anyone back home think he sided with Frank. But apparently he doesn't mind having anyone back home know that he is willing to betray his closest friend out of anger against someone else. We see another shot of Brandon poolside, all sneaky-looking, while Lex Loser in the background maniacally pulls out his hair. Seriously, he's pulling out his hair, and I've just determined that every adverb preceding any verb describing an action of Lex Loser's should be "maniacally." Tom washes Brandon's hair for him. Okay, he doesn't wash it, but he pours the water over it. Sadly, the shampoo does not appear to be Herbal Essences.
In a confessional, Lex Loser snarks that Frank just decided, "I'm gonna be a jerk about this thing." He tells us that Frank's negative attitude has set the tone for the past three days. Lex Loser says nothing at all about the tone his manic rat-sniffing and gut-following tangent have set. Lex Loser says that Frank approached him about forming an alliance, but that Lex Loser's alliances were already set and he didn't feel comfortable making another agreement. He claims he was "fully straight up" with Frank on the issue. Lex Loser thinks Frank was pissed off at him because Brandon is "Public Enemy #1" to Frank. In a new confessional, Lex Loser tells us that he feels it's time for Frank to go. He says Frank is always in a sour mood, and Lex Loser can't deal with it anymore, because Frank brings down morale and is a pain in the butt. Jeez, Lex Loser, tell us how you really feel. Meanwhile, Frank inspects his socks. Were I Lex Loser, I'd be demoralized, too, by such blatant negative activity.
The sun is hot; we get it. A gong sounds. If I got on Survivor, I'd want my luxury item to be a gong. That way, I could conveniently provide the appropriate sound effects. I wouldn't, however, be able to provide, using my gong, the magnified buzzing of flies. Teresa whispers while she comments on the aggressiveness of the flies. One can never be too careful, I suppose. A few lions shrug off flies. A few monkeys shrug off flies. A bird shrugs off flies. A few humans shrug off flies. Kimj tells us that the flies are "rampant," and that if you wave your hand and touch one, the fly just stays where it is. She says that, at home, if she has a single fly in her kitchen, she goes "ballistic." In Africa, she feels like a baboon "picking, picking, picking" at the flies. She tells us, "When we go back home, we'll probably look like nervous wrecks just picking at ourselves all the time." Kimj also briefly mentions picking at scabs. This woman's conversation is charming. The most brazen of all the flies (the lord, you might say, of the flies) scuttles across the camera lens, and then a baboon scratches his butt.
Horror-movie-style music plays as Tom lies on his back squeezing something nasty that's growing on his neck. Based on the way he's extending his tongue, he also may be trying to lick it. Ethan tells us that Tom has "a massive boil," and he's unable to stop looking at it; we see a shot of Ethan with his nose wedged into Tom's neck. Tom says it feels like "having a damn horn coming out of your neck," and Ethan describes the growth as "like third eye, extra brain, I don't know." He says he can't look Tom in the eyes, and keeps looking at his neck instead. As Ethan tells us he's never seen a boil that big, a clip reveals him sneaking another look at Tom's neck while Tom pretends to look away. In a confessional, Tom tells us that he's seen all the African beasts, and "most of the animals that are fit and strong usually have a horn." He points to rhinos and antelopes to illustrate his point, but we see a shot of a giraffe. Tom concludes, "So I'm growin' a horn to fight off the beast that comes...and mainly, it's comin' from inside the camp." Tom then goofs around, pretending to have horns and making animal-with-horn noises while the other members of the tribe watch with amusement. Lex Loser thinks the boil is making Tom crazy. If it's infected, it certainly could induce delirium. But Tom's a bit delirious anyway, so we can't blame an infected boil -- not even a nasty, infected boil like that one. Kimj touches the growth, and then Brandon applies some kind of medicine to it. Tom explains, "When you got sumpin' like this, they just can't keep their hands off it!" This statement is followed by numerous shots of the S8 examining and poking at Tom's neck. Brandon tells us that Tom also had a growth under his arm two weeks ago, and he squeezed it; it popped, and "tons of stuff seeped out." He says it would have filled up a shot glass. Tom then pretends to pull a twig out of his nose while feigning discomfort and I can't figure out what that has to do with the shot-glass-filling pustule on his neck. But we don't leave the boil alone for long, because the shot is a close-up of the festering abscess; if I were to play Ethan's "identify the extra body part" game, I'd say it looked like a pair of lips. Tom tells us that "women like to squeeze and cause pain to men," because it's a way for them to get revenge. He concludes, "Some things you want 'em to touch, they won't. Some things you don't want 'em to touch, they will."
Ethan and Frank fetch the mail, which contains a clue about strength, ability, and brains. I'd say our S8 are out of luck. The reward is an "evening getaway," and they should "each choose a friend" with whom to compete in the challenge. The clue is not very cryptic, and recycles the "outwit, outlast, and outplay" part of the show's motto. Back at camp, the tribe deliberates as to how to pair up fairly. Lex Loser thinks that if they start choosing teams, "it's gonna get uglier than it already is," and no one pulls a Jerri. They decide to choose from a hat, and Kimj is happy to end up on the same team as Ethan; Ethan feigns the same excitement. Actually, Kimj should be scared to be on Ethan's team. Impulsive clumsiness may be hazardous to the health of those around you. Tom and Kimp are another team, and they dub themselves "Big Bear/Little Bear." The last two teams are Teresa and Lex Loser, and Brandon and Frank. Mark Burnett's good, I tell you. He's even bribed their baseball caps. The tribe thinks the Brandon/Frank pairing is hysterical, but if they knew the truth about Teresa's vote for Lex Loser two councils back, they'd double their fun.
Blues music plays as Frank tells us, "Believe me, I did not pick Brandon." He says that Brandon would be the last person on earth he would select for a partner, and that "big old Tom got a big bellyful on this one." Meanwhile, Brandon coquettishly drinks water. Who even knew that was possible? In a confessional, Tom tells us that Frank's "disposition is about eighty years old." He says if he were Brandon, he couldn't have thought of a more tortuous thing to do to Frank than to partner with him. Tom is gleefully amused, and dances around over the odd pairing. Brandon tells us in a confessional that he and Frank are "polar opposites," and that if they lived door to each other, they'd never exchange words. Well, my life was the polar opposite of my key-losing, tool-stealing, held-hostage-by- her-drug-dealing-ex-boyfriend former neighbor, but we had our fair share of verbal repartee. Actually, that's not exactly true; mostly we turned out the lights and hid when we saw her sitting on our front porch at four in the morning. Ah, Baltimore. Visit soon, hon.
In any case, Tom tells us that he and Kimp are partnered, but that they haven't interacted with each other very much in the game so far. We see them bonding and being very chatty. Ah, shades of Elisabeth and Rodger. Tom continues, "If it's physical, we're gonna win. But if it's anything mental, we're screwed." Kimp and Tom goof off. Kimp encourages Tom to follow her lead as she does a cartwheel and he does nothing remotely resembling a cartwheel. He does jive walk, though, which is worth about fifteen cartwheels in my book. Maybe even a front handspring. Back handsprings are trump, though. The two look like they're having fun together, and it's good to see Kimp loosen up. She tells us in a confessional that it's hard for her to differentiate between playing the game strategically and forging relationships with the other members of Mofo Maji. As they both jive walk, Tom says, "We bad!" They decide they need a team name, and Tom comes up with "Big & Little." Tom feels the need to reinforce to Kimp, "You Little. You Little." Then, they bop fists. Kimp tells us that Big Tom is a good person, and she's excited to be paired up with him. Plus, he's big and strong so they might have a chance to win the challenge. Tom continues teasing Frank about being teamed with Brandon. Frank laughs it off and shakes his head, but clearly he is not all that amused. Now Tom has his arm around Kimp, and they're marching in tandem. Kimp looks over her shoulder, crosses her fingers, and insists, "We're like this." I suppose this clip is supposed to highlight for us how far from being "like this" Brandon and Frank are. I guess the proper description would be that they're "like that." Frank tells us it's funny to see everyone else matched up, but that in being partnered with Brandon, his "camping trip just went to hell, that's all." As he says this, we see yet another shot of Brandon batting his eyelashes and smiling prettily.
The teams arrive at the reward challenge, which Peachy describes as "a good old-fashioned Survivor obstacle course." The route includes a cargo net; the "timber tumble"; a rope climb (of which the S8 have the option to climb a rope or a rope ladder in order to ring a bell); the belly crawl (which turns out, for some contestants, to be the same as the timber tumble); three climbing walls; a ladder assembly; and the final use of said assembled ladder to scale the finish line: a ten-foot wall. "Under the African sky," the members of the victorious team will then have their own private "outdoor movie experience" with candy, popcorn, and "all the Mountain Dew [they] can drink." On hearing that this is the reward, the S8 mostly look perplexed. The teams will compete in heats; the first round pits Brandon and Frank against Tom and Kimp. Off to a good start, Tom continues to amaze me in the challenges. Then again, he's only forty-six years old, and I'm deceived by the fact that he looks like he's in his mid-sixties. We hear Peachy advise Brandon to "hold up" at one point, so maybe the partners have to complete each phase of the challenge together, even though no one else bothers, and through the rest of the challenge, Brandon never waits for Frank. Peachy instructs the teams that their first person may approach the ladder construction area, but can't start working until the other teammate arrives. It's difficult, during this challenge, to tell who's ahead, and by how much. We watch Lex Loser conclude that Brandon and Frank are ahead and that "it's theirs," and so it is. I'm fairly positive that Tom yells "Bitch!" as he struggles with the ladder; meanwhile Brandon positively prances across the finish line.
Round two finds Lex Loser and Teresa competing against Kimj and Ethan. Surprisingly, Kimj and Ethan make it through without killing themselves or each other. In fact, they both appear to spend less than 50% of the challenge falling over. They have a good pattern down: Ethan climbs over the "timber tumble" while Kimj crawls under it. Then Ethan climbs the rope while Kimj climbs the rope ladder. As they endure the belly crawl, Ethan keeps telling Kimj to "get that butt down." Hee. Lex Loser is a really good belly crawler, but so are snakes. Kimj, who was holding her own very well in the early part of the challenge, is suddenly behind, and Peachy tells Ethan, "You can't start on the ladder without her, though." Ethan advises Kimj to take her time, and I'll bet he's a pretty good soccer coach. Lex Loser and Teresa evidently have a difficult time with the ladder construction because suddenly Kimj and Ethan are crossing the finish line hand-in-hand.
And now, the final heat. Peachy announces that the "winners are goin' to the movies Survivor-style." Triumphant music plays throughout the race, which is strange because they usually save the melodrama for the end of the challenge. Brandon yells at Frank the entire time. He's lagging behind, but he still keeps yelling at Frank. When I yell while exercising (which I really don't unless someone changes the TV station at the gym), it makes it hard to breathe. In any case, the sidelined Survivors -- particularly Teresa and Kimp -- are cracking up over Brandon's bossiness. Kimj has mud in her face, and it looks like she might have given up, but then it turns out she's ahead of Ethan. Of course, he's probably tired from carrying her, or from the spontaneously propulsive falling bouts. This challenge is impossible to follow: it's hard to tell whether the teams are even close, and then Frank and Brandon are suddenly finished. Frank turns around to congratulate Brandon, and they do one of those clasp hands/half-hug macho guy gestures. Brandon yells, "I've got a date with Frank!" and then Teresa hugs them both as happy music plays. Ethan and Kimj hustle through the finish line.
Two words: How High. One word: how?
Frank's elephant dance music plays as the tribe walks back to camp, and Brandon and Frank head off on their movie date. Lex Loser exclaims, "I never thought I'd see the day when Brandon would be Frank's taskmaster." They joke that Brandon had a whip on Frank, and it shocked them. The tribe speculates that the winners will get hamburgers and hot dogs in addition to the candy and popcorn and movie.
We then join Frank and Brandon as Peachy announces, "This is your mecca!" He points out the projector and says they'll be watching Out of Africa. I've never seen that movie, but I'd be bummed. It just seems slow. Don't send me hate mail if you love this movie. And just so you really hate me, I also refuse to see Titanic and The English Patient. Peachy points out the candy, hot dogs, and chips, and tells Frank and Brandon to "gorge, feast, and do whatever you want." He says they'll start the movie when the sun goes down. As they feast, Frank says he feels guilty eating so much food; Brandon says, "Me, too. Can't you tell?" The cameraman must have a condiment fetish, because there are lots of shots of hot dogs being attended to.
Back at Mofo Maji camp, the tribe continues to discuss the irony of Frank's and Brandon's pairing. Kimj thinks "it's the beginning of something really big and permanent." Tom calls the experience "a night to remember," and hopes it's moonlit. Then they make all kinds of not-funny jokes about "hands-on participation" and "[finding] their rhythm together."
And, on second thought, it doesn't appear that the cameraman has a condiment fetish; he has a plain old hot dog fetish. Now we see multiple shots of hot dogs being stuffed in mouths; at Mofo Maji, they regress to whip-cracking jokes. Tom says he's waiting for Frank to walk back to camp any minute and say, "That crazy movie. It ain't even an army movie!" Hee.
As they watch the movie, Frank looks over at Brandon grinning. They appear to be conversing and getting along, but we don't hear much of what they're saying. They're both happily wiggling their feet around. Frank tells us that seeing Out of Africa in Africa was unbelievable. He then says that Brandon's a competitor, and discounts the fact that he made physical contact with him in a high-five as being "in the spirit of victory." He continues, "Still doesn't mean that I'd go to coffee with him." Frank says that winning the challenge with Brandon didn't change anything their situation: he's still "old-fashioned and...don't even go there." Brandon, who can roll his eyes at a handful of popcorn, then tells us that in his "real life," he'd never be around Frank. He says that Frank is abrasive and cold and doesn't really have a warm side to "offset his, um, less than charming personality. Ahem." Frank tells us he accepts the cards he's dealt, and that sharing the reward with Brandon was "difficult for [him] personally," but that all they had to do was watch the movie. We see clip of them exchanging Twizzlers, and then there's Robert Redford. Frank says, "We simply had popcorn; we had pop. We watched a movie. It's history. It's over with. Let's move forward." But really, they look like they're enjoying each other's company. As the camera pans away, Frank jokingly admonishes Brandon to "quit eatin' all the white ones!" Brandon says, "Are there really no more?" And Frank says, "Nah, they're gone. You ate 'em all." Brandon then calls Frank a liar, because he saw Frank eat some of them. Hee.
At Mofo Maji on Day 26, Lex Loser tells us that Brandon's place in the tribe has become complicated. He points out again that Brandon saved their skin, but Ethan and Tom don't trust him; he says the members of the Boran alliance have discussed voting Brandon out , and he doesn't know if he can do that. Ethan and Lex Loser have a conversation about Brandon, and Ethan shitmouths, "Is your word just your word or does your word have a different level of words?" He wants to know if Lex Loser's commitment to Brandon is as strong as his commitment to the Boran alliance. Lex Loser explains that he's in it with the Boran members until the end of the game, but then Ethan then wants to know how far Lex Loser's commitment to Brandon goes. Lex Loser explains that he's committed to Brandon until the others vote him off. Tom walks by, and for some reason Lex Loser and Ethan clam up and look guilty. Tom tells us, "The big boy can smell a rat. How did Lex and Brandon get so tight all of a sudden?" Shot of some tight monkeys. They're not piggybacking monkeys -- quite the opposite, actually. Tom says that if it comes down to a conflict with Lex Loser, he'll have to go against "tribal boundaries" to get more votes for himself. He has a lot of trouble saying "tribal boundaries." Frank and Tom gather firewood together, and Frank insists that Brandon will go down before he does. In a confessional, Frank tells us that he likes Tom because he reminds him of "back home." He says they're similar, because they're both "slow" and "firm" and like to get things get done. He also says neither of them values political correctness, and that they're both men of action and should have met each other on the first day. He respects Tom's original Boran alliance, but thinks Tom is growing uneasy with "Lex's recruitment of Brandon right to his side." Frank concludes, "People are changin' their mind like they're changin' their underwear." We see a shot of Brandon looking down, and Kimp looking angry, but not a shot of someone changing their underwear.
Brandon tries to explain to Kimp that he decided to vote for Kelly because she was "doubletalkin'." Kimp argues that the other members of Samburu would never have voted against Lex if they had known Brandon's intentions. Brandon lies that he changed his mind on the way to the council, and insists that there was no way he could have said anything. Kimp's not having it: she says she doesn't care if Lex Loser was watching, and that Brandon owed her an explanation because he was her friend. Brandon insists he is her friend. They check the treemail together, and Brandon Jacks, "Matches. Something to do with fire." I'd like to see a Karen-type out here. As they walk back to Mofo Maji, Brandon tells Kimp to vote against him in the Tribal Council because he can't take her talking against him. He says she's the only one out there in Africa that he cares about, and that she's still his friend and will be so forever. Through tears, she says she appreciates that. Neither mentions the bonds and healing powers of matching bead necklaces.
The clue is about earth, wind, and fire. Earth, Wind and Fire has a song called "Mighty Mighty." Shout-out? In any case, the clue cites these as the three elements necessary to winning the game. Given that they all have the same access to the earth, and that wind is fairly indiscriminate, I don't really understand what the clue is blathering on about. Not that I ever do. Lex tells us that the immunity challenge feels very important to him; he's the most vulnerable person in the tribe, because as far as he knows, he has the most votes against him. He'll do everything he can to win. We see another shot of Frank picking at his socks. Did he do nothing else in Africa? Can't the editors find a more suggestive clip to show repeatedly? Or perhaps we're supposed to think, "Poor, feeble-minded Frank over there, just minding his own business and picking at his socks." Kimp tells us that immunity will be a big part of how the game proceeds; she says that a lot of people want to vote off Brandon, and Teresa still thinks they can possibly vote out Lex. She says it's going to be a very interesting immunity challenge.
I don't know who Tim Horton is, but he wishes my loved ones and me a happy holiday. And what is Blue Murder? ["For those Americans who care, Tim Horton was a hockey player who is now deceased; before he died, he founded a chain of donut shops that still bear his name. There are some in upstate New York and elsewhere in the U.S. And Blue Murder is a crappy Canadian rip-off of NYPD Blue, set in Toronto. Even Canadians don't watch it." -- Wing Chun]
The immunity challenge set-up looks strikingly familiar to the fire-making challenge from Pulau Tiga. Peachy takes back the immunity dog collar from Ethan and tells the tribe that by now, they should all have learned the importance of fire. He say that after 26 days, the S8 should all know how to make fire, and that they're about to find out "who's the best" at it. I don't know why he thinks they should have learned this skill; they only had one night to attempt to make fire before it was given to them. He says they'll gather sticks and elephant dung, and put them in their individual fire circles. Using a magnifying glass and "the bright light of the sun," they'll attempt to create a fire with a flame high enough to light a wick, which will drop a bag, which raises a flag. The first person to raise their flag wins immunity, and a secure place in the final seven. Peachy points out that there is only one rule: none of the gathered material can touch any other part of the apparatus, including the wick. He reinforces, "Anything other than the fire will be disqualified." Do you think someone's materials will touch their wick? Because I don't.
Peachy sets the S8 to their task, and they start gathering their materials. Kimp takes an early lead, and looks very serious about winning this thing. Shots of different Mofo Maji members staring at their magnifying glasses alternate with shots of the hot sun. The S8 alternately blow on elephant dung. Peachy squats very close to Kimp as he watches her. Her fire ignites, and Peachy says, "There you go." I think he may have wanted her to succeed at this challenge, but squatting at such close proximity was probably more of a distraction than anything else. Oh, and I've almost entirely revised my opinion of Kimp. She just fell in with the wrong crowd at the beginning. Kimp starts to hallucinate from the flames as she converses with her fire. She encourages it to "come on, burn, burn, burn!" Frank and Lex Loser are keeping up with Kimp, but suddenly Peachy says Frank's branch touches the string, and he gets disqualified. His flag doesn't rise, but for some reason Kimp thinks she's already lost. She starts crying and falls over in anguish; Peachy has to scream at her repeatedly to "keep going" before she realizes she's not out of it yet. Still, she seems to have lost her momentum. Peachy explains again that the competitors can't let anything hit the wick, and Frank says he understands why he was disqualified. Kimp apparently thinks that staring at the fire will make it catch more quickly, and it doesn't look like Tom even has fire before Lex Loser's flag goes up. Kimp is very upset, and Teresa consoles her. Does Kimp think she's to go, or maybe she doesn't want to vote Brandon off? Or is she just upset because Lex Loser won immunity? In any case, no one seems particularly happy for Lex Loser. Ethan hugs him, but isn't too enthused about it.
Back at camp, Lex Loser grins from ear to ear; I'll bet he was insufferable after this victory. He tells us that he has a lot invested in Survivor, and that the longer he plays, the more he wants to win. He says that the game has a "strange way, psychologically," of working out that way. Actually, I wouldn't call it "strange" at all; in fact, it seems natural that the more time and effort put into something amplifies its importance. But Lex thinks he's so smart and goes on about it being "less and less of an option to take that long walk out of the game." Of course, it's all easier to talk about, anyway, with an immunity dog collar around one's neck. Lex Loser tells us that the few days are going to be very difficult for the tribe. He says that he, Tom, Ethan, and Kimj have a decision to make. Despite what he said earlier about not wanting to be the one calling the shots, it's clear here that is what he really wants. Lex Loser says he's already told the others that he won't vote against Brandon, so if they choose to do that, they'll have to find enough votes elsewhere, so they don't lose the balance of power and, as a result, get picked off by the former Samburu tribe. He makes a grabby gesture when he talks about their alliance. Meanwhile, Kimj sleeps with her finger up her nose. Lex Loser whispers to Tom that he can't let his personal feelings get involved anymore. He says it doesn't matter that Tom likes Frank more than he likes Brandon. According to Lex Loser, what matters is that Brandon has already helped them out, and that he might do it again. Lex Loser insists that Frank would vote for Tom in a heartbeat if he thought it would help him win the game. Lex Loser then tells Tom that if Frank gets Brandon back on the Samburu side, they will target Tom, and then Brandon will go . This all seems like a very desperate attempt by Lex Loser to retain control. He concludes, "Think about that, but don't take too long. Because if you take too long you're going."
Tom tells us in a confessional that Lex Loser is dead set against voting for Brandon, and that's fine with him, but "it's kind of like goin' to the dance. If you dance with my old lady, I'll dance with yours." My husband needed to translate this from Tomglish to English for me. Frank tells Tom that he knows he can trust Teresa like family, and that he has the same feeling about Tom; he wants the three of them to make it to the final three together. Tom says that if he shakes on something, he's good for it, and Frank responds, "If I see you put it out there, then I know." But we don't see them shake, and we don't know if they agree on anything. Whispering while pretending to look at wildlife, Tom tells Ethan that Frank hates Brandon and wants him gone. Pretending to look at wildlife is a dead giveaway -- no one out there really gives a damn about elephants and giraffes. Ethan says he knows the way Frank thinks, and that Frank wants to go as far as possible in the game. Tom agrees, but also thinks that any of them would, and that it's "the American way." Ethan is worried that Frank will align with Brandon to win the game, but Tom says he still feels safer being on Frank's side than Brandon's. As singers sigh in the background, Kimj tells us that anyone who tried to manipulate people, jump ship, or come up with a back-up plan "got gooned." She says that when you reveal that you're investigating alternate options, you estrange the people currently on your side. Kimj says that she's stuck with her original alliance, and it's worked for her so far. We see a shot of Tom sitting under a tree with his legs in front of him, knees bent, looking perplexed and fingering food into his mouth. In a confessional he says, "Hey, Big Tom got himself between a rock and hard spot." He explains that he'll "hold to [his] guns," but if Lex doesn't "hep" him, they "may not have as tight a marriage as [they] want to." Since Tom slurs his words so badly while sober, maybe his speech actually clears up when he's drunk.
As they head off to Tribal Council on Day 27, Kimp angrily stomps ahead of the rest of Mofo Maji.. Ethan tells us that she is "a big question mark." He says she has a bond with Brandon, but that he screwed her over so badly in the last vote that she might be resentful. He knows they said they'd never vote against each other, but that he doesn't think that's a definite any longer. Ethan also says that he knows Frank "doesn't love Lex," and that the Samburu faction "smell[s] the final four" if they can get rid of Lex Loser. He says what scares him about Frank and Teresa is how close they could be to the final four if they make an agreement with Brandon.
The tribe marches into Magic Kingdom Africa, where it's a backstabbing world, after all. Peachy brings in Kelly, the first member of the jury, and as she walks past them, Ethan checks out her legs and Tom checks out her ass. Tom also looks a little guilty, but not for looking at Kelly's butt. Incidentally, there was not -- as there has been with past Survivors -- an explosion in the cosmetics section at CVS; Kelly looks natural and pretty. Peachy explains to the tribe that one person from Mofo Maji will join Kelly after the night's vote. He explains that Kelly is there only to observe, because "ultimately the jury will have the last say, and they will make the final vote to determine who gets the million dollars and the title of Survivor."
Peachy pokes at their weak spots with his questions. Ethan thinks "confidence" is the overriding quality in getting far on Survivor. Peachy asks whether Brandon looks at the game in terms of morality and ethics or in terms of determining how far he can push the rules. Brandon exclaims, "Yeah!" which doesn't exactly answer the question. He then explains that he wouldn't do anything "like, amoral or, you know, disgusting, or anything like that." I'm amazed that they didn't pan to Frank's face when he says this. Brandon finishes up by insisting that it's a game; he came to have a good time, and he has. Kimp looks sad. Peachy asks Tom the same question so I guess he didn't get the answer he wanted. Much as it was for Brandon, the question is too big for Big Tom, who answers, "All of the above" to what is basically a yes or no question. He says you have to keep your beliefs in check, and also check the beliefs of your "compadres" to see if they've changed. He says he can't dwell on these things, because he can't change them. Peachy asks what else there is to do in Africa besides obsess over the game. They all laugh, and Tom exclaims, "Well, Lord have mercy! I've had to warsh these women. I've got...I've had responsibilities! I've gotta dance. I gotta sing. It's a pretty lively bunch!" Frank says that trust is important and hard to come by, "but when you do find it, it means an awful lot." Lex also thinks the biggest factor in the game is trust; he says that's what he most takes into consideration "when voting with [his] gut." Peachy questions Lex's gut, and Lex responds, "My gut still doesn't lie, and my gut is still pretty damn accurate." Lex has some problems with his gut. He and his gut should seek counseling. Kimj insists that she votes against people because they're not nice; she says she votes based on whom she's comfortable with, and whom she'd respect in the final two. Like Lex Loser, she goes on her gut. Finally, Kimp reveals that her biggest weakness during Survivor is that she builds relationships with people, trusts them, and foolishly thinks those relationships are independent of strategy within the game. She says she's naïve and Brandon barely keeps from rolling his eyes during this. Okay, so he kind of sort of does roll his eyes, but I do believe he's sad about what happened between him and Kimp, and that the eye rolling is an unfortunate reflex.
Lex Loser votes for Frank and calls him "rude, grouchy, and a poor sport." He says Frank has been insufferable; the bottom line is that he's a "real downer," and Lex Loser can't wait to see him gone. Kimp votes for Brandon, and doesn't know what to say. She thinks it's a shame that it came to this but she can't trust him, and she's not even sure if they're friends.
That's all we see before Peachy skips off to tally the votes. I didn't ever get the impression that Just Peachy disliked Brandon, but I do believe he's suppressing a smirk here. The first two votes are for Brandon; the third is for Frank; two more for Brandon; one more for Frank; and then the deciding vote: Brandon. As he gathers his belongings, Brandon smiles and reminds the others that they have only twelve days left, that they should have fun. Kimp narrows her eyes, and Frank shows no emotion. Tom says, "See you, Sugarbear." Hee. Peachy concludes that the game is getting tricky, and then sends them back to camp.
week on Survivor, Lex Loser is in "the hot seat." Of course, seeing how devilish he is, he probably likes it there. Also, Tom gets creepy with the girls and -- surprise! -- Frank is politically incorrect.
As the credits roll, we see how the voting panned out: both Brandon and Lex Loser cast votes for Frank while everyone else voted for Brandon. A chipper Brandon tell us he can't believe he made it that far in the game because he's never before slept on the ground. He doesn't hold anything against anyone, and he only regrets the deterioration of his relationship with Kimp. He feels like he won, but I bet he'd feel even more victorious if Caroline Rhea stayed on with Sabrina and let him assume his birthright: Rosie!