“ Like, get a grip, Casey -- do you honestly think that a condemnation from a priest or a minister is going to make a nutjob like that shake his head and say, 'Oh, you mean killing people with bombs isn't okay?' ”
Previously on Sports Night: Dan recognizes Rebecca as Steve Sisko's wife, Dan's avoiding Rebecca because she's taking counselling with Steve, there was a bomb hoax in the building because a radio host did an impression of a gay Jesus, Isaac's in the hospital with a stroke, Casey's pissed at Dana because she dumped their show off a while back for Gordon, and Casey being pissed in turn pisses off Dana, and after all the clips we only have about five minutes left for actual new show.
Man. Fade up on the former Manhattan skyline, in all her glory. What you need to know is that even before the twin towers were destroyed, Casey's whining here about last week's bomb threat was fairly annoying. Worse yet, it's worked into one of those repetitive dialogue things with Dan here that is so bad it actually seems like a parody of Aaron Sorkin rather than actual Aaron Sorkin. I mean, we establish that it's been a week since the bomb threat, and that gets repeated about fifty times before the opening credits have finished rolling.
In the control room, as the gang gets ready for the show, Dana reveals that she is forgetting things and losing things, but she isn't forgetting or losing anything "specific," whatever that's supposed to mean. Dana says she might have to consider the possibility that she's going "stark-raving mad." Jeremy, who at one point I thought was a smart man, says, "Sure don't have to sell me!"
At the desk, Casey is still harping on the bomb threat, wondering why religious leaders haven't stepped in to condemn the actions of a man who threatens to blow up a building ostensibly in the name of God. Dan clearly isn't interested in this conversation, because apparently they have had it a few times already, and where has Casey been that he hasn't noticed (even pre-September 11) that people are capable of just about anything if they believe it's God's will? Like, get a grip, Casey -- do you honestly think that a condemnation from a priest or a minister is going to make a nutjob like that shake his head and say, "Oh, you mean killing people with bombs isn't okay?" Anyway, for the sake of shutting Casey up, Danny agrees with him.
So I'm writing this recap at the same time as I'm watching Cal Ripken's final game, and Josh Charles is being interviewed at the game right now. Apparently he's a Baltimore fan, and he's doing a good job of articulating how he feels about his baseball hero, and Cal Ripken was also the baseball hero of a young shortstop named Daniel a long time ago, and Charles is going on about how nice it's always been that no matter what happens, one constant has been Ripken at shortstop (or third, I guess). Okay, now Charles has been babbling on for about ten minutes and this moron sportscaster has just asked Charles if he has anything to plug, like, SHUT UP, MORON SPORTSCASTER, I mean, his first on-field interview after the opening ceremony was with Cal Ripken's agent, like, who better to comment on such a magical night of baseball than an agent. And at the risk of getting more "we love Josh Charles" hate mail, Charles should have told the interviewer to stuff it and get back to Cal, instead of telling us all about his new movie, which he just finished shooting in Toronto in July. It's called Our America, and it will be on Showtime eventually.
Ten Wickets
“ Jeremy explains that the guy was in Trinidad, telling Jeremy about a cricket match in New Delhi. Uh oh. My Contrivance Alarm is going off. ”
Oh, fuck, now Faith Hill is going to sing the national anthem. Wait, this isn't the national anthem. It's just a shitty Faith Hill song. Is this her Pearl Harbor song? This song sucks, even for Faith Hill. Someone please shut her up now. This is the part where I hit "mute" and just watch the clips of one of my boyhood idols.
Ah, that's better.
Except then, thinking she's done, I un-press "mute" and she's still singing and my ears broke. Was she even at the game? They didn't even show any shots of her. I mean, I hate her music but I don't mind looking at her.
Now the Orioles' lineup from Cal's first game is on the field, so it's safe to turn the volume back up. And here comes a group to sing the anthem. Did I hear that right? Is the name of this group really Three Mo Tenors? That's hilarious!
Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah. Dan agrees with Casey's theory that religious leaders should step in and tell bombers not to blow up buildings. Law-enforcement officials the world over smack their foreheads and wish they'd thought of that. "I, however, have decided to move on," says Dan, pissing off Casey. "So you're not with me," he says.
In the control room, Dana is telling Natalie that there are three things she's doing: she's losing things, she's forgetting things, and then she forgets the third thing. I don't know why Dana's so stressed. She should know by now that these occasional personality quirks of hers only ever last thirty minutes, tops, and then are never seen again.
I, however, will be getting my blood pressure checked, since Natalie uses this time to get on the intercom and remind everyone that she's still Jeremy's girlfriend, and she apparently does this every night at this time. I really wish Natalie's stupid plots were as fleeting as Dana's stupid ones, because I had my fill of this one about three seconds into "Ordnance Tactics." Jeremy gripes about this and reminds Natalie that he broke up with her, but she continues to refuse to acknowledge it.
Speaking of plots that annoy me, back at the desk, Casey is still crabbing about how Dan used to be with him but has since "moved on." They go live, with their usual poetic teases at the top of the show. Commercials.
When we come back, Jeremy's on the phone, practically shouting, "You're breaking up!" and eventually loses the connection completely, and then there's a throwaway gag about how Jeremy keeps talking even after there's no longer anyone there. Thankfully, we're saved from more "Jeremy talks to himself" hilarity filler crap by Dana coming into the editing room, apparently looking for something. She's too preoccupied to pay much attention to Jeremy. Like, Jeremy tells her he was just talking to a guy in Trinidad, and Dana asks when Jeremy was in Trinidad. Stuff like that. Jeremy explains that the guy was in Trinidad, telling Jeremy about a cricket match in New Delhi. Uh oh. My Contrivance Alarm is going off.