By Daniel
Fade up on the guys wrapping up the show, and tonight's wrap-up features the three elements of this show that annoy me the most: wry understatement (Casey refers to Tiger Woods as someone "some of you may have heard of"), random sprinkling of foreign language (Casey referring to the NCAA's basketball tournament's third round as "le ronde de seize," for no discernible reason) and, well, Casey (Casey). Rectangle Head plugs their expanded coverage tomorrow that features him and Dan in the studio from 3 to 11, analysts in the field, and CSC's Bobbi Bernstein. At the mention of Bobbi's name, Dan almost spits up the water he's drinking, but manages to keep it safely in his mouth and off camera, and manages to regain his composure to say goodnight.
When the cameras go off, Dan commences glaring at Casey. "Whoa!" he says. Casey won't even look at him; he just tells him to take it easy. Dan wants to know when this happened. "You're talking about Bobbi Bernstein?" asks Casey faux-blithely. Casey then says Dana must have forgotten to tell him. Dan gets all indignant and says she did indeed forget to tell him. Enter Dana, who says she forgot to tell Dan that Bobbi is filling in for Jack, who's sick. Dan's anxiety prompts Dana to ask what his problem is with Bobbi Bernstein. Dan says he doesn't have one -- he's lying. Dana and Dan agree that Bobbi very good and that she knows college basketball. Then Dana fills in Dan and Casey that Isaac is going to want to show his vacation pictures, so she's getting a welcome-back cake and they're going to have a party in his office tomorrow. Gee, how do we know Isaac's the boss? How many other coworkers would you welcome back with cake and hold a party so you can see all the vacation pictures? At my office, I get greeted with resentful glares and, "So, how was Banff? Good? Must be nice." Anyway, Casey asks what kind of cake Dana's getting. She doesn't know, and wants to know why Casey's asking. "I'm particular about cake," he says, and some of you who haven't seen this episode might think I made that up, but no, he actually says that he's "particular about cake." He's not kidding, either. And now he goes into a little diatribe about how it's his experience that men buy better cakes than women do. He's serious about this, too. Casey, if you plan to be insufferable and sexist and profess to speak for the entire male half of the population, couldn't you come up with something less lame than "men buy better cakes than women"? For many reasons, both sexist and non-, I am quite happy to be a guy, but this alleged superiority in cake-buying is not one of those reasons. Casey says men are better at buying cakes because women buy yogurt-frosted low-fat cakes blah blah blah. Dana pretends to be a little taken aback and says she didn't realize how strongly Casey felt about cake. "But now that I do, I guess the answer is: whatever cake I damn please." Casey says "excellent," like, good comeback there, Casey. Dana double-checks with Dan to make sure that he doesn't have a problem with Bobbi. "No, ma'am," says Dan, and Dana leaves.
Dan strolls up to Casey, who's busy stuffing his face. Dan just stares. Casey shrugs and says, "I'd go for it." You know, maybe you guys should try actually speaking your lines instead of just thinking them at each other. Dan flags down Dana, who is exceedingly pissed at Casey, asking if there's anything he won't make a speech about or pass judgment on. Well, no; I haven't even known Casey as long as Dana has, and I already know that. Dan settles her down so he can explain the whole fucked-up relationship with Bobbi. "I didn't know you two had a relationship," says Dana. "We don't," says Dan. "I'm confused," says Dana. So Dan prepares to lay the whole story in front of Dana, but prefaces it by warning her that most people don't believe him when he tells this story. Dana assures him she'll believe him. Isn't this the exact same thing that happened with Natalie? This isn't so much "Eli's Coming" as it is "Small Town Redux," so I'm thinking later on there'll be a scene Sorkin added, featuring Dan having dinner at a French plantation. Dan explains that Bobbi is convinced the two of them slept together in a hotel room in Spain, but a) he'd never met Bobbi before she started working for the show, b) he's never slept with Bobbi, and c) he's never been to Spain. Dana chuckles. "Thank you for believing me," says Dan. "Danny, you never called her?" Okay, who didn't see that coming? I didn't, but I was in the john. Dana walks away, followed by Dan whining about her not believing him. He says there must be something in the stuff women put in their hair, which certainly doesn't win him any points from Dana, who says that her hair is natural and not enough people know that. Her hair looks really nice today, actually. Dan mentions that Rebecca's coming to watch the show tomorrow. For some reason, Dana finds it necessary to tell Dan that Rebecca colours her hair. Why do women think that's a big deal? More important, why do they think men care about superficial things like that? It's just hair. It's not like we're talking about something important, like breasts. Dan's point is that he's worried about Rebecca being around while Bobbi goes into one of her "arias" about him not calling after sleeping with her, even though he can't seem to remember that Bobbi only brought it up after Dan pushed and prodded and goaded her. Dana says he should have called her, and you wonder if Dan will ever realize that nothing good ever comes of telling a woman about the time you didn't call after having sex, fiction or not. Commercials. Stay tuned, because later I tell a story about not calling a woman after having sex. And also, more about breasts!
The day, Casey is holding forth in the newsroom about how special the extended coverage is, and I realized here how much more I like Rectangle Nate than Rectangle Casey, who is going off on the "foxhole mentality" of the day and urges everyone to enjoy the moment. Dan strides by and tells Casey he wants to talk to him. Casey protests that he's "firing up the troops," but Dan is clearly agitated, so Casey follows Dan into their office. Dan can barely stand still. He tells Casey that he just went down to Rebecca's office and Steve Sisko was there. Casey considers this carefully, then starts going on about the extended coverage again until Dan says he wants to talk about Rebecca a bit more. Casey wonders what Steve Sisko's doing in the office on a Saturday. Dan says he doesn't care what day it is, what's he doing there, period? A thought occurs to Casey. I know, I know, but seriously. He points out that between Rebecca, Steve Sisko, and Bobbi Bernstein, Dan's going to have quite a day. Dan says he doesn't want to talk about it and sits down to get to work, and keeps saying that he's fine. "And I'm not saying I'm fine in that dramatic way that's obviously meant to indicate that I'm not fine; that's not what I meant." Oh, you mean the Sorkin technique that makes playing a Sports Night drinking game prohibitively expensive? Not to mention endlessly repetitive dialogue, which follows here as Dan repeats over and over again that he's fine, and Casey agrees with him over and over again. Then, blessed silence for a few moments, at least until Casey says he's really frightened about today's broadcast. "I hear you," says Dan.
In Isaac's office, Dana is directing Natalie and Jeremy, who are hanging up a way-too-professionally-done "Welcome Back" banner. Once Dana is satisfied that the banner is straight, she lets Jeremy and Natalie get down and Dana starts babbling about what a nice image the banner makes with the skyline, but she's not satisfied, as signified by her use of the phrase "here's the thing." "What?" says Natalie. Dana says she's not wild about the text, because she thinks it's a little "on the nose." Natalie agrees with that, but it doesn't bother her. Dana says she bets it would bother Casey. Dana's lip curls, and she goes into a tirade about how judgmental Casey is, and in her case, hyper-judgmental. Jeremy makes the nearly fatal mistake of asking if Casey said something about her hair, which nearly sends Dana off into a completely different tailspin. Thank God Danny rushes in, even if it's only to tell everybody that Steve Sisko is in Rebecca's office. Instead of saying, "We care...why?" Natalie says, "On a Saturday?" Dan wants to know why everybody cares that it's on a Saturday. Then we get to Casey's Judgment Of The Banner. He says he likes it, and suddenly the sun shines on Dana. She asks him if he doesn't think it's on the nose. He says he thinks it's "precise" and he praises its "economy of language," but Dana seizes on this and assumes it's a backhanded compliment. "Like I'm the one who can't shut up?" she says. Why does God hate me? Dana's assumption that Casey's mocking her causes her to say she can cut one more word from the banner. This makes sense, what with her being so upset that Casey just praised her economy of language. Dana says she's going to take the "back" off the banner. Casey says, "'Welcome'?" Dana defiantly asks if he has a problem with that. "He'll think he just cleared customs," says Jeremy, and Casey says Jeremy has a point. Natalie suggests adding an exclamation point. Oh, Natalie and her exclamation marks! Dana stomps out of the room, saying she's going to get the cake. Casey casts a critical eye over the banner again and says it should be higher on the right. We hear Dana yelling, "Shut up!" which is really good advice for everyone.
A little later, we're about to go live. Natalie's doing a sound check with the field reporters. Dana comes in, anxious that Isaac hasn't shown up yet; he said he would be there well before the show started and they're now two minutes to air. Jeremy suggests that maybe he stopped off for a pretzel, since he's been in Europe for two weeks and hasn't had a decent pretzel. Weren't pretzels invented in Europe? Shouldn't Jeremy know that? Shouldn't Sorkin make Jeremy give a long boring speech about pretzels that makes Dana look at Natalie with a "you're so lucky" expression? Well, whatever. Natalie tells Dana that Bobbi isn't there yet either, and Jeremy tells her she called from the car. "And?" says Dana. "Stopped off for a pretzel," says Jeremy, since his pretzel routine went over so well the first time. In actuality, Bobbi will be right there.
Out at the desk, Danny is surveying the scene around him. "This day's got the earmarks, Casey," he says. "Where's Rebecca? I ask you that." I'm assuming she's on her back on her desk in her office, Dan -- what do you want to hear? Although I do like this scene -- the sense of impending doom is palpable here. "Rebecca isn't here, Isaac isn't here..." says Dan. He glances over at Casey. "There's a strangeness about this day," he says. Casey's pretty oblivious, so I guess the day's not totally out of the ordinary. Dan thinks a little bit longer, then says, "Eli's coming." "'Eli'?" says Casey. Dan says he means from the Three Dog Night song, and Casey of course is all "duh" (I'm paraphrasing here). Dan explains that Eli is a darkness, something bad. Casey says, "'Eli's coming, hide your heart, girl.' Eli's an inveterate womanizer." Dan says he knows that, but he misinterpreted the song when he was a kid and these things stick with you. Yeah, I mean, I was eight when Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop" come out. I thought it was about a woman who likes to dance. The show goes live with the boys teasing their upcoming March Madness coverage, and I would like to say that to the Stanley Cup playoffs, the NCAA basketball tournament is my favourite sporting event. In fact, I even go so far as to take the first Thursday and Friday off work so I can watch the entire first round. I hope my boss doesn't read these recaps. Not Sars, my other boss. The one who likes me. "They say it's calmest before the storm," says Dan, who goes on to explain that he's "a serious sailor" so he knows that's not true; stuff happens before a storm. The Impending Disaster strumming kicks in as Natalie comes in and says, "Look who's here!" and Bobbi comes in. She says, "Hello, Casey," pleasantly and, still pleasantly but with a slight edge, "Hello, Dan," then heads backstage. Dan turns away and stares into the distance. "Eli's coming," he says. She bop he bop a we bop. Commercials.
When we come back, it's the exact same thing as the first Bobbi Bernstein episode. You know, where Dan's all jittery and she's the epitome of professionalism. Finally he asks her how she's doing, and she says she's fine. They go live, and Dan introduces Bobbi to the audience. They do that fake interviewing thing that commentators do with each other, where they ask each other planned questions, like, "Is Virginia's first-half press a surprise to anyone?" and Bobbi acts like she's so glad Dan asked her that, and she blah blahs about it and oh look! they have some videotape to look at to illustrate her point. Meanwhile, in the control room, Elliot comes in and Dana asks, "What did they say?" Elliot says Isaac's plane landed four hours ago and there's no answer at his house. Jeremy tries to reassure her by saying that on a Saturday night, coming up from JFK on the Triborough, four hours wouldn't be a record. Dana tries to accept this. Jeremy tells Elliot to check with the airport and make sure Isaac got on the plane. Dana tries to smile at Natalie, but Natalie doesn't smile back.
Back at the desk, Bobbi is wrapping up her spontaneous talk on Virginia's first-half press by saying, "That's what Virginia's been doing all season and that's what Georgia Tech's going to see all night long," and she gives the "all night long" a lascivious little tweak that, surprisingly, I found irritating. I mean, I hope that sex-kitten sportscaster thing works out for you, there, Bobbi, but I think you're trying too hard. Melissa Stark manages to be sexy on Monday Night Football without sounding like she's coming on to Dennis Miller -- although I guess if she did come on to him, that would be just kind of creepy. But she seems to know her stuff and does a good job, and that's what's important -- that and the sleeveless sweaters she wears when it's early in the football season and still warm enough to do so. Anyway, Dan asks Bobbi how Rebecca's ankle is. Dana glances at Natalie. "I'm sorry?" says Bobbi. Dan recovers and asks how Rick O'Brien's ankle is. They talk a little more about basketball, then throw back to more field coverage.
Dan apologizes to Bobbi for the slip-up, and she tells him not to worry about it as she heads behind the set to check her make-up. Dan follows her and says he couldn't help but notice that she's a lot calmer than normal. Didn't we do this last time as well? Someone familiarize Dan with the concept of letting sleeping dogs lie, please. Bobbi says she knows Dan's worried she's going to go "turbo" on him, but it's really okay. So once again we have to put up with Bobbi trying to leave it alone and Dana making an issue of it. She says they should "forget it" and walks away, sitting down to fumble through her purse. Dan doesn't want to let it drop. He says he's done enough rotten things to women that he's going straight to hell, but he doesn't need Bobbi "padding the ballot box." I don't know if I buy Dan as this cad who's going straight to hell. Even I have only the one time when I didn't call a girl (stay tuned!) so I'm not too worried about going to hell. Anyway, Dan says to her that the reason he never called her after sleeping with her in Spain is that he never slept with her in Spain. And the reason he never slept with her in Spain is that he's never been to Spain. "And the time you bring this up, you better be armed with a picture of me with you in a hotel in Spain." Bobbi pulls a picture out of her purse and hands it to him. He examines it. "That's me," he says. Bobbi says yes, and asks if he can read what it says on the towel. "Hotel d'Espagne," he says. "The Hotel d'Espagne's in Spain?" D'oh! Bobbi tries to take the photo back, but Dan seems to be remembering something. "That's me in this picture," he says, "but that's not you." Bobbi says it is. Dan argues with her, he says that the girl in the picture is named Roberta. It dawns on him -- there's that Dartmouth education coming through. "Oh, holy cow," he says. "Bobbi Bernstein, pleased to meet you," she says. He says, "Bobbi, this looks nothing like you." She agrees and says, "Yeah, I turned into quite the babe, didn't I?" She takes the picture back and walks away. Well, that explains why Dan doesn't remember sleeping with her. Apparently she was fat, or ugly, or both, or something. And it explains how Dan could have been in Spain when he says he's never been to Spain. Oh wait, it DIDN'T EXPLAIN THAT AT ALL. But according to zapatos's fine Sports Night page, in the original script, Dan argues that the Hotel d'Espagne's in France, and he remembers being there, but Bobbi tells him that he and his friends drove from Spain from France, and the explanation offered is that he was really drunk (this happening during college, apparently). I have done lots of dumb things while drunk, some of which I've written about in these recaps. I beat up a good friend. I urinated in public. I agreed to work for Sars. I wore an army helmet and wandered around Halifax walking into stop signs. I said something to a woman that earned a slap, but I don't remember what I said and I don't even remember being slapped; I only found out about that the day from a friend who saw it. But I can't conceive of being so drunk that I managed to go to Spain with friends and not remember any of it.
Anyway, Bobbi has walked back to the set, where Dan follows her and stammers a whole lot of nonsense until Rebecca hobbles up and says her ankle's fine. Good, that resolves this whole weird ankle subplot that we suddenly have, I...guess. Dan does the introductions. Rebecca asks if he has time for coffee. He bellows for Natalie, who tells him he has four and a half minutes. Bobbi says she's going to look at tape and takes off. Dan says, "Yeah," watching her go thoughtfully. Then he offers Rebecca a sandwich, but she declines, saying she actually doesn't even want coffee. She seems suddenly nervous as they go into an editing room together. "Was that weird for you?" she asks. "Seeing Steve Sisko in your office?" he says. He pretends that it wasn't weird for him. She mentions the Saturday thing, causing him to wonder again what difference the day makes. She also asks if he wants to know what Steve was doing there, and Dan says it's none of his business, and it actually isn't, since they've only been going out for a couple of weeks. After a few "aren't you sweet" kisses, Rebecca reveals that she and Steve aren't actually divorced. "You're married?" says Dan. "Separated," clarifies Rebecca. She tries to kiss him again, but this time Dan isn't having it. It's time for him to flip out. He asks if Rebecca is nuts. In fact, he says, "Are you some kind of nutty nut girl who's nuts?" He spazzes on about how there's a difference between divorced and separated, pointing out that "separated" means you're thinking about getting divorced, but that you're also thinking about not getting divorced. Rebecca asks if he's finished. Dan tries to think of something else to say, but can't. Rebecca gives some blah blah about how she doesn't feel like she was lying as much as she was "withholding the truth," which has always worked wonders for me when I've used that little cop-out. Dan asks what Steve was doing in her office, and Rebecca says he was talking about going for counselling. Dan seems relieved at that and says Steve could use some counselling, because he's an "inveterate womanizer" and blah blah about "Eli's Coming" again, before realizing that that's not the sort of counselling Rebecca's talking about. "He wants to go to couples counselling," says Dan. Rebecca says yes. Danny mulls this over for a moment, then says he has to go back on the air. "Danny..." says Rebecca, but he holds up a finger and says he'll be right back.
In the control room, the TCs are giving various commands as they're about to go back live. Dana says, "What's the rule for when you call the police?" Jeremy says, "In my house it was fifteen minutes after school got out," which isn't the most surprising admission Jeremy could ever make, but it's still pretty funny and earns a faint response from the long-MIA laugh track.
Back on the desk, the boys go live, but it's just to tease upcoming highlights and break for a commercial. After that's done, Dan starts muttering under his breath, and you catch the word "stupid" but not much else. He gets up and says he'll be back in a moment. Casey takes the opportunity to stroll into the control room, just after Dana tells Natalie that she's waiting five more minutes before she calls the cops. Casey starts pontificating on how long it's been since he's been in the control room. It's a fairly harmless statement, and I don't know that it deserves the snarkiness of Dana saying they've all missed him. Casey pretends to take that at face value and offers his own sarcastic "thank you." He then starts chatting with the front-row TCs and asks what they're doing, like, they're producing sports coverage, Casey. But because Dana is rude, Natalie has to be too, and she says, "Sometimes it's hard to tell," and how nice of her to take a swipe at them for no reason. Casey tries to be genuinely friendly and says he thinks the show's going well. Dana icily says that that's good because his opinion is really important to her. Casey's had enough and says, "Dana, whatever we're going to do, can we not do it in front of the help?" and that's an incredibly lame thing to say, and Casey's taken a lot of heat for it on the Sports Night forums, but I give him a little more credit than that. I know he's had his issues with, for example, not remembering names of the support crew, but I really don't think he actually considers the other TCs "the help"; I think his comment was meant way more metaphorically than that and he would just rather argue in private. Also, Dana's being a total bitch here. Sars, can I say that? ["Hey, you're not saying it about me for a change -- by all means, have at it." -- Sars] Anyway, Casey stomps outside, and Dana takes off her headset and follows him.
Once in the meeting room, Casey asks her what the problem is. Dana asks him to let her off the hook. Casey does a little dance where he pretends not to know what she needs to be let off the hook for, but with some prodding, we can see he's pissed that Dana handed off the show the other week because Gordon was there and angry. But I'm going to offer my own analysis here. The only one who has had a problem (at least, that we've seen) since that happened has been Dana. She has been paranoid and hypersensitive all episode, jumping down Casey's throat over her own interpretation of what he says. Sure, maybe some stuff has happened off-camera that we haven't seen, but if we're supposed to sympathize with Dana, it would help us to see Casey holding a grudge over the show handoff, and sure, Dana knows Casey really well and can maybe judge when he's saying one thing and meaning another. But I think what's really going on is that Dana has been feeling guilty since she handed off the show to Sally, is angry at feeling that way, and is lashing out at Casey instead. Of course, Rectangle Head is ticked; we all know his work is really important to him -- he refers to Sports Night as "our show" (meaning his and Dana's). We all know, though, that there's more at work here than how Casey feels about the show. I really feel for Casey here; I think a man who truly loves a woman will keep silent about it if he knows she's happy with someone else, but Casey knows what an asshole Gordon is -- his transgressions include cheating on Sally and starring in Major League III -- and it must kill him to be passed up for such a jerk. I know what I'm talking about here. Anyway, Casey channels his anger into telling Dana that he'll let her off the hook when there's time, but right now he has to do their show, and he asks her to let him know when something more important comes along. Dana is really taken aback by his self-righteousness here and can barely muster a response. Casey takes off, bumping into Natalie, who has come to get him because he's needed back on the air soon. Natalie continues into the meeting room and asks Dana what's going on. Dana's venom melts my television as she practically screams, "I want so badly to rip his face off!" Felicity Huffman rocks.
Want to see how a man handles love? Dan comes into his office, looking for Rebecca. She pops up behind him and says she wouldn't have left. He says there was something he forgot to tell her before: "If you want to work on repairing your marriage, I will in whatever way you want support that." She asks him, "Really?" and he says yes. She kisses him softly. She says she'd really rather not think about too much more tonight, and Dan says that's okay too. He moves to leave, but stops in the doorway. "He's such a bad guy, Rebecca. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I know these things." He leans forward and says, "I'm not so good myself." Oh, please, Dan. I get half my love from Sports Night fans just for having the same name as you. Rebecca asks if she can watch him on the television in his office, and he says sure.
Dan strolls back to the desk, where Casey is on air giving highlights. Once Casey gets off, they start talking around their respective bruised hearts by talking about basketball. Dan mentions something about needing to get his head in the game. Bobbi comes up and says she's got some stats for Dan to look at. He asks if Casey wants to get in on it, but Casey mutters something about going to "talk to her" and takes off. Bobbi starts going over something basketball-related, but Dan interrupts her with, "What a jerk I was." She seems surprised. "I should have called you," he continues. "If my not calling you made you feel any less than what you are, I'm sorry." She's taken aback, but thanks him. He's getting off kind of easy here, as Bobbi seems to have dealt with this a long time ago. There was a girl, let's call her C, who I hooked up with during frosh week my first year in college, and she got really clingy really quickly. It wasn't a one-time thing, I considered her my girlfriend, but she was always calling. So I didn't intend to just stop calling her -- she called me often enough that I didn't really have to. I'd get back to my room and there'd be a message from her on the phone, but within half an hour of arriving she'd be calling anyway. I guess what happened is that eventually she realized I wasn't calling her back anymore, and she just stopped calling by December. So I'm free and clear, right? That's what guys do, right? We had different circles of friends in school, so I'd see her in the cafeteria but that was pretty much it. It wasn't until St. Patrick's Day when I bumped into her at a party that I realized what an asshole thing it was to do. I was happy to see her, she didn't seem to actually hate me, and she commented on me wearing green. I told her that I'm part Irish. "Fifty percent Irish, twenty-five percent Scottish, and twenty-five percent Italian," I said. "And a hundred percent sleazeball," she said, kind of half under her breath. I was kind of drunk and said, "What?" And she said, "nothing, nothing," and walked away. So the day I called her up and we talked, and she explained how much I'd hurt her, and I apologized and let her berate me because it was what I deserved, and I figured that was it. She went to another school the following year (no, not because of me -- at my university in Halifax it was pretty common to take your first year there and then go somewhere else).
So a couple of years later, my roommate Nevin tells me C's friend told him she was visiting just before Christmas holidays. Nevin also told me that C's friend told him that C got her nipples pierced. This floored me, because it seemed kind of out of character for her. Nevin told me I wasn't allowed to say anything, because C's friend realized it was a bad idea to tell him since it would get back to me, and Nevin promised her he wouldn't tell me. But of course he did. But if I let on that I knew, then she would know my roommate had told me and he'd be in trouble. You follow? Anyway, Nevin and I see C and her friend at the bar and things were great. I'm chatting with C, she's genuinely happy to see me, I'm trying to steer the conversation around to where she'll tell me about getting her nipples pierced. And I also want to see them, because I've never actually seen pierced nipples. In person, anyway. But nothing seemed to be working. Eventually we went back to our house because we were having a party and C and I spent the whole evening together. We were hanging out in my room talking, and Nevin and C's friend were in the room too. Nevin told me later that C's friend was really worried about leaving me alone with her, which I found funny, if only because never in my life have I been the bad boy that women are attracted to in spite of themselves. I'm the generally pretty good guy who sometimes gets screwed over in favour of the bad boy, but that's another story. Anyway, the night wears on, the liquor keeps flowing, and eventually C and I are left alone together, and talk unfortunately returns to what an asshole I'd been, and I felt guilty all over again because it was obvious I'd really hurt her, damaged her self-esteem, and I was trying to reassure her all over again that it wasn't her, that I had been a creep, but everyone knows that sounds like a line, even when it's true, and she actually started crying remembering the whole thing. And then I'm not sure exactly how we got from there to getting naked, but that's what happened. And much to my chagrin, her nipples weren't pierced! After all that! But I couldn't say anything about it, so I didn't; I just did my best to convince her that she's a good person who deserved a whole lot better than I'd give her years ago (which was true). Finally, later that night, she told me that she got her nipples pierced but she took them out because they'd irritated her. I kind of wanted to look really closely to see if there were holes that I could look through, but I restrained myself. And I spent the rest of the evening reflecting on what an asshole I'd been because it still bothered her years later. So I promised whatever I did from then on, I'd never just not call someone. Unless, I guess, I was told I didn't have to or she didn't want me to or something. I have never felt lower than listening to her cry because of how much I'd hurt her; it really taught me a lesson. Well, sort of, because I did get to sleep with her again, but that's not the point. The point is that I understand how low Dan feels right now, and I also envy him for getting off easy with Bobbi here. Apology over, Dan goes back to discussing the basketball. Bobbi smiles -- not a victory smile, but an appreciative smile.
In the newsroom, Dana is upset about Casey acting like he's never made his personal life a priority, and says she supposes they won't count the ten years he was married to Lisa and Dana had to watch that. She doesn't get into specifics, but we all know that Lisa = Satan and this show has totally ruined women named Lisa for me. Natalie is trying to calm Dana down, but she's now going off on Casey having no right to judge her relationship with Gordon. Casey comes in; Dana spies him and says, "Good, I'm due for another scolding." That's not why Casey's there, though; looking almost numb, Isaac tells her that Isaac's in the hospital after having a stroke at the airport. Dana and Natalie are both stunned. Casey says he has to go tell Dan, and leaves.
Dan and Bobbi are talking basketball when Casey comes up and tells Dan about the stroke. Instantly, Three Dog Night kicks in singing "Eli's Coming," and I could have done with a little more silence here until the song kicked in because Three Dog Night falls into that late-'60s, early-'70s brand of rock that features really overwrought vocals, like Blood, Sweat & Tears and Joe Cocker, and it really doesn't do a whole lot for me. Dan asks if it's bad, and Casey says it is and they'll go to the hospital after the show. He asks if Dan's all right, because Dan's not saying much. Dan says he's fine, and the show goes back live. The Three Dog Night swells so that we can't really hear what Dan's saying. Josh Charles does a good job here, even if we can't hear him; he's trying to look upbeat, but his mouth looks funny, like it's a supreme effort for him to keep smiling. The camera circles around Dan, resting on a close-up with Casey in the background, closing out maybe the finest Sports Night episode of them all.