Previously on Sports Night: Aw, screw it. You guys know what happened previously.
This episode starts off smack-dab in the middle of draft day coverage, with Casey talking about a 6' 7" 325-lb offensive lineman who can run the 40-yard dash in 4.4 seconds, which is pretty fast for a big guy like that, and Dan concedes that that's true, but any play designed for an OL to run forty yards is probably ill-conceived. No hint of any tension! Whew! Glad to see that blew over!
Cut to Isaac's office, so we know we're going to get the Weekly Whiner segment, and I'm considering starting up a pool on the MBTV boards so people can place bets on who is going to come to Isaac with their problems each week, and this week, it's -- Jeremy! Jeremy says to Isaac, "Fire me," which distracts Isaac from the television. "Why?" asks Isaac. "I'm a bad worker," says Jeremy, which Isaac disagrees with. "I come in late, I leave early," says Jeremy, and Isaac reminds him that the opposite is true. "You come in on your days off," says Isaac and Jeremy seizes on that and says, "And isn't that a little weird?" and Isaac admits it is, but won't fire him and tries to go back to watching television. Jeremy starts getting desperate and says he says things about Isaac behind his back, which Isaac doesn't believe, so Jeremy says he'll save Isaac the trouble and offer his resignation; Isaac reminds him he's under contract. The counter on my VCR says one minute, thirty-three seconds and Jeremy has already sent me zooming past my Annoyance Threshold for this week, although I did kind of laugh when Jeremy hopefully said, "I'm a racist," and made this "yeah, that'll do it" face. Isaac decides to play along with this one. Jeremy says he's been in the closet all this time but it's time to live an honest life, and then he goes into John Rocker mode and suggests that "all the people with the different skin colours and funny accents should go back to where they came from and leave America to the white people who killed the Indians in the first place, which they deserved," like who knew racism was so gut-splittingly funny? Jeremy says the country is being taken over by the blacks and the Jews, and Isaac reminds Jeremy that he himself is Jewish. "Well, I've got to be stopped!" says Jeremy, which was also pretty funny. But Isaac is getting tired of this and says "Jeremy," and Jeremy throws up his hands and says, "I'm totally screwed!" like maybe Jeremy and his porn star girlfriend have more in common then we realize. ["Zing!" -- Sars] Commercials.
Back from commercials, Jeremy says his "I'm totally screwed" line again, albeit a little less dramatically this time, and then we get an extreme tilted close-up of Jeremy rubbing his eyes. "Porn-star problems?" asks Isaac astutely. Jeremy explains about Jenny coming to visit and Natalie not knowing what she does. Jeremy spazzes about Isaac's continued usage of the phrase "porn star" instead of the more genteel "adult film actress" or simply "Jenny," which is a fair point: "Is it important that we say 'porn star' as many times as possible? Can we have a civilization for crying out loud?" Whatever that means, and Jeremy stands up, getting upset. Isaac wants him to calm down and wants to know why, if this bothers him so much, he asked Jenny to come. Jeremy explains blah blah about being open and honest about her. I don't know why Sports Night even bothered with the "previously" scenes at the top of the show, I mean I know this is Part 2, but stuff always continues from week to week and the writers have always used scenes like this one to explain past stuff. "I told her to come here today so she can see I'm not the person she thinks I am," says Jeremy. Isaac, wanting to get to the point, says, "And?" and Jeremy says, "I'm exactly the person she thinks I am." Isaac considers this and says, "Well, that's not too bad," which made me laugh for some reason. Jeremy explains about asking Jenny to come when he figured Natalie would have gone home, and I think Isaac would be way better off just reading my recap for last week, since reading it would take much less time than listening to Jeremy blather on and on, and then we wouldn't have to put up with Jeremy bitching about tennis players (at Indian Wells) who can't play in the rain on clay courts. According to Jeremy, that lack of tenacity is more evidence of the decline of today's civilization. Oh yeah, Jeremy told Natalie that Jenny is a choreo-animator. WE KNOW ALL THIS, LET'S KEEP IT MOVING, PLEASE. Can we please get to Danny's meltdown? No wonder Dan is going off the deep end, working with this pinhead. Jeremy repeats his request to be fired, but Isaac refuses, and Jeremy decides to call him "Sambo" to his face, which just causes Isaac to crack up at how ridiculous Jeremy is. Jeremy turns to go and says, "I didn't sell it," which was funny, and the interminableness of this scene is redeemed somewhat when Jeremy says, "How do the real racists do it?" and Isaac says, "It's too late for you, son, you need to be taught by your parents," and Jeremy finally goes back to work.
Back at the desk, it's Pittsburgh's turn to make a selection and the anchorknobs break. While various Lesser Tertiary Characters fuss about them, Casey all olive-branch-offeringly says Dan's line about ill-conceived plays for offensive linemen was funny, and Dan doesn't even look at him and is pretty brusque. Casey, undeterred, says, "Look," and Dan says, "Drop dead." Without looking. Then Dan says, "You owe me an apology, jackass, and until I get one, keep your reviews to yourself," stuffing the olive branch as far up Casey's ass as it will go. Casey says "I'm sorry" (twice) and he looks sincere to me, but Danny doesn't buy it and tells Casey so. Rectangle Head has had enough and says, "I am, in fact, I'm so sorry it's hard for me to think of different ways to say 'bite me.'" Danny says, "I think you've come up with quite enough for one day," but Casey doesn't think so, surprise surprise. Casey stands up and wants to finish the conversation somewhere else, but Danny petulantly says that he wants to stay out there lest he miss another second of Draft Day 2000. "Get your ass back here," says Casey, tiredly. Oooh! He said "ass"! I think NYPD Blue's proximity to Sports Night is starting to take effect. The two of them shuffle off to a private corner and Casey lectures Dan for a while about how his "hissyfit" (which is such a shoutout to Wing Chun) over not getting to play golf sends seismic shockwaves through an organization of people who are under the impression they enjoy doing the show together. "It's not my job to make sure everyone's having a good time," says Dan, "and if it is, I need to be paid more." Casey self-righteously says he manages to do it whether it's a part of his job or not, and Dan points out that Casey is in fact paid more. Casey, sensing a sore point, twists the knife and says, "Well, I'm paid considerably more, Danny, is that what you want to talk about?" Dan says he finds it baffling since they each do half the work. Casey muses sarcastically, "Well, maybe it's because who knows when you're going to decide you'd rather play eighteen holes than anchor team coverage?" which is a good point, other than the fact that Dan did not in fact blow off the show to play golf. Dan, pissed, wonders if Casey is at all interested in a life outside the studio. "Not really," says Casey, "but when I do decide to step out, will you be the one to show me how it goes, since your life is so hot, Danny?" Hey, at least Dan goes to Tom Waits concerts. Is it me, or does Casey look a little turned on right here? Dan starts smirking and walks away. Following him, Casey wonders if they didn't already have enough to fight about that Dan had to bring up the money. Dan apologizes for bringing him down on draft day, but just between you, me, and the fencepost, I don't think he means it. He suggests Casey go to the control room to pick up the troops to make himself feel better.
Back at the desk, Casey, despite being ticked that Danny brought up money, sees fit to lecture him on capitalism, specifically that Casey is paid what the market will bear. Casey says his agent asked for an amount, and CSC pays it because they know if they don't, someone else will. On the other hand, points out Casey, Danny wouldn't get paid as much if he asked for it, because CSC knows that if they don't, no one else will. Just whip it out and be done with it, Casey. "Meaning?" asks Danny. Casey: "You came with me. Deal with it." They get ready to go back live, but Danny makes a snide remark about how snappy Casey looks in his Eagle Scout uniform. "But I never wanted your help, I never needed your help, and God knows I never asked for it." Casey says, "Bite me," falling back on the tried and true. They go live, Dan puts on his work face and says, "Welcome back!" and the two of them ease back into the snappy on-air camaraderie, but I see Dan's smile looks out of place. Look closer, it's easy to trace, the tracks of his tears. During their on-air banter, Dan calls Casey "my friend" with no trace of sarcasm. Pittsburgh's made a selection, the boys check in with their correspondent, we go to the control room.
Dana is blah-blahing about how happy she is in her t-shirt -- you know, the clever "I survived Draft Day at Sports Night" t-shirts that the rest of the crew got so non-excited about last week? It's her opinion that the rest of the crew would be happy if they wore t-shirts too, because Dana has a whole sack in her office. The crew members just look a little nervous, wondering exactly when Dana is going to snap. Kim says Elliot has something he wants to tell her. Elliot looks very scared and says, "No, I don't!" and Kim says, "Yes you do!" and Dana wonders what's going on and Dave says, "You're driving him nutsy with the t-shirts," and Dana says, "Really?" Backstabbing Dave says, "I, on the other hand, would like one" and Chris and Will chime in with their enthusiasm for the shirt. Kim calls them suck-ups, which they admit. Elliot resignedly asks for a shirt as well. "Give me one too," says Kim. "I'll make it look good." This is where I would normally make some sort of horndog comment about Kim, but I'm trying to give that up for Lent. Dana realizes that a sack of t-shirts in her office is probably more important than producing the show and leaves to get the sack, and Natalie offers to go with her.
But Natalie isn't so much interested in helping as she is in telling Dana that it's confirmed that Jeremy is seeing someone new and that he's over her. Since Jenny's occupation is a major plot point, Dana's first question is of course what Jenny does for a living, just like when Natalie asked Jeremy. Natalie tells Dana that Jenny is a choreo-animator. They start discussing what choreo-animators do, until Natalie says, "Oh, who the hell cares, he's over me," which Dana denies, telling Natalie that Jenny is a rebound girl and that Jeremy and Natalie are taking a break, but Natalie doesn't think that's true: "This is what he wanted! A choreo-animator! Could anything be more symbolic?" Uh, what? Well, at least Natalie doesn't come up with some overwrought overanalysis of the symbolism of Jeremy dating a choreo-animator. Oh, wait, that's exactly what she does. My bad! She says something about Jeremy now being able to spend the rest of his life with the cartoon characters that graced the walls of his boyhood bedroom. "Cartoon characters graced the walls of his boyhood bedroom?" asks Dana, who seems a little shocked. Natalie gives her a "what, are you smoking crack" look and explains she was speaking metaphorically. Dana giggles and says, "Oh, well you should let me know when you do that!" which I thought was pretty funny. Talk then shifts to the big honking bandage on Dana's face and Natalie doesn't understand how it happened, how Dana fell. Dana says she doesn't remember how she fell, which certainly isn't a suspicious thing to say at all. Thank God Dana isn't seeing anyone, since that would be the clue that she's being beaten and trying to cover it up. What's confusing to Natalie is how Dana fell down and managed to hurt only one part of her face, when I think a more reasonable question would be how she fell down and hit her face at all; I mean, anyone who has ever tripped or fallen down knows that you instinctively put your arms out to break your fall, and it would take a monumental klutz to hit their chin. ["Like, say, me. True story." -- Sars] I mean, obviously Dana is lying, but I would have expected her to come up with a story better than this "I fell" nonsense. Luckily, she and Natalie realize they have to get back and the t-shirt bag is lying on the couch, so Dana grabs the lying sack of shirts and they hustle out the door.
Aaaah! Extreme close-up of Jeremy! The camera is very tight on his face right now and remains there for about ten minutes; then we realize that he's standing in front of the elevator, frightening everybody getting off on this floor, I mean, waiting for Jenny. The camera pans around and we see Casey all of a sudden just there, like Casey snuck up on Jeremy like a ninja. A ninja in a suit. Casey is offering unsolicited advice on how to deal with the Jenny thing, that Jeremy should tell her that there are "special circumstances" involved, that Jeremy made up a story because he knew how hurt his ex-girlfriend would be. Jeremy thinks that's a good idea, but it's not the truth, since he made up the story for everybody, not just Natalie, forgetting I guess that most of the main characters do in fact know Jenny's real occupation. "Special circumstances," repeats Casey. Jeremy sums it up: "'Hi, I made up this story about you because the whole idea of you embarrasses me.' What kind of man does that to a woman?" Even though the answer is "Jeremy Goodwin," Casey just says, "You don't think guys have done that to her before?" Jeremy says he knows they have, which is why he shouldn't have done it, because she doesn't deserve it, which is pretty considerate of him, I guess, but I think he's beating himself up a little bit too much. Something tells me that the "honest" and "open" and "okay with it" Jenny doesn't use her real name in her movies, so I don't see why Jeremy should feel obligated to reveal to everyone what she does, especially since they've known each other, what, a week? Jeremy's feelings suggest to Casey that Jeremy is ready to go for it, and Jeremy really does appear to like her a lot. Casey has to get back, so Jeremy continues to pace in front of the elevator until "ding!" the doors open and Jenny in all her cuteness is there. "Hey sport!" she says, and Jeremy says "hey" and Jenny smiles to melt the coldest heart.
Commercials. You know that Microsoft commercial with old cranky guy who loves to complain to the editor about every little thing in the newspaper? I talk to that guy EVERY DAY.
Back from commercial, Jeremy is gushing to Jenny about how fantastic she looks, taking her a bit by surprise since she's just wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, but Jeremy insists she looks great and keeps going on about it, in the tired television cliché of guys only complimenting their girlfriends when they've done something wrong. And, since Jenny apparently has watched television before, she interrupts him and wants to know what he's done. So he pulls her aside to talk to her more privately, and it always cracks me up how this show does this -- whenever people want to have a private conversation, they move a grand total of about five feet from their location and meanwhile people are still milling about, but this is somehow much more private. Anyway, Jeremy starts by yammering about how Jenny has no reason to feel ashamed about her life or career or anything like that, and Jenny rolls her eyes at him a bunch. Then Jeremy lies a little more and says he's told everybody exactly what she does. "Really," she says, not believing it. Jeremy admits that he's lying. Jenny says, "What am I?" Jeremy tells her she's a choreo-animator, and Jenny of course knows exactly what that is, like Dana and Natalie did, so maybe it is a real job, what do I know. Or maybe it's a Manhattan thing that Sars can explain here and feel even cooler about herself. ["It's not a Manhattan thing, to my knowledge. Furthermore, ouch." -- Sars] Jenny, pissed, says, "I'm going home," and I wonder if she would have stayed if Jeremy had come up with a better pretend job for her. Jeremy chases after her and tries to invoke the "special circumstances" defense that Casey came up with and tells Jenny that she has to appreciate that this isn't easy for him and that he's trying really hard. I really think that Jeremy is doing his best and that Jenny is expecting a bit much from him at this stage. I don't know why she's busting his balls so much over this, since I thought she really wanted to meet people outside the porn industry, so I fail to see why she's so surprised that when she does, her occupation takes some time for people to get used to. I also wonder if Jenny is facing similar embarrassment with her porn co-workers and is making up stories about what Jeremy does for a living since she's ashamed to tell them he's a producer for a sports show. Anyway, Jenny listens to what he has to say, and by the time he's finished, she has a little smile on her face, and the elevator dings and the doors open, but Jenny forgives him and doesn't get on the elevator, and they go to meet the gang.
Back at the desk, Casey and Dan are talking about the draft, which is a completely non-existent plot at this point. In the control room, Elliot is rudely staring at Dana's bandage and quizzing her about it. The crew members are all brown-nosingly wearing their t-shirts. Dana and Natalie talk about a player who has not yet been taken and he should have been by now, so Dana tells Natalie to put together some stuff on it for Dan and Casey to talk about. Elliot continues to look at the bandage and I don't know what his fascination is, I lost interest in her bandage about 0.3 seconds after I first saw it. Of course, I didn't know it was going to turn into the major plot deal it does later. Dana stares down Elliot until he goes away.
Jeremy gives Jenny the tour, and she calls the newsroom "cool," as if, and Jeremy introduces her to everyone by saying, and I swear this is what he said, "This is a girl, everybody, her name is Jenny and this is our third date," which was probably supposed to seem sweet but to me it came off as dumb. All the Lesser Tertiary Characters make a big show of nodding and acknowledging Jenny, because all these actors realize this may be their only chance for the show's producers to notice them and promote them to a role like Casey's Sideburn Checker or Dan's Phone Message Taker so they maybe get a line or two someday. Jeremy tells Jenny that if any of them had asked him what she did for a living, he would have told them, which is easy for him to say, since he knows these people never get any lines. Jenny wants to know where Natalie is, and Jeremy assures her that Natalie would be much too busy to be anywhere other than the control room right now, which of course is the cue for Natalie to walk in and say hello.
Natalie introduces herself and the two women are very pleasant to each other. Natalie asks Jenny if it's true that she's a choreo-animator, which I thought was a weird way to phrase the question, like why wouldn't she say "I hear you're a choreo-animator" instead of implying that Jeremy might be lying about Jenny's occupation. I mean, Jeremy is lying about it, but Natalie doesn't have any reason to suspect that. Whatever, Jenny says it's true, although Jeremy looked perilously close to coming clean. Natalie says that's really interesting and asks her how she got into it. Jenny tells this story: "Well, believe it or not, I'd come to New York on a dance scholarship, actually, to study at Juilliard. But I had people back home who needed money and I could always draw. And a guy offered me money one time to draw, and I did, and so that's what I do now," like SPARE ME these after-the-fact extenuating circumstances to paint the porn star in a noble light when all along she's been harping on Jeremy that she's not ashamed of what she does, and how dense is Natalie who doesn't even notice how weird this speech sounded with its "one time a guy offered me money to draw" nonsense. Natalie says she'll think of Jenny every time she watches the fish dance in the Little Mermaid, which is funny coming from someone who was pretty snarky about the cartoon characters on the walls of Jeremy's boyhood bedroom. Jenny says she's really proud of that one, like take credit for a real choreo-animator's work, why don't you Jenny. During all this, Jeremy is making all these ashamed "I'm such an idiot" faces. Natalie takes off. Jenny says, "She's sweet, why did you break up with her?" Maybe Natalie doesn't, um, draw as well as you do, Jenny. Jeremy wants to speak to her alone, so they go in Dan and Casey's office.
Jeremy wants to know why she never told him that story before, and she says he never asked, "and I don't go through life singing my sad song so people don't mind me so much." Interrupting this fairy-tale romance of the sports producer and the porn star is Dana, looking for the info on the overlooked football player. Dana introduces herself to Jenny and Jeremy tries to tell her they were just in the middle of something, but Dana asks him why this particular football player hasn't been taken yet, and Jeremy recites a litany of flaws that made me wonder why Jeremy isn't on air. So Dana turns her attention to Jenny and asks her about the hippos in Fantasia until Jeremy interrupts to tell Dana that Jenny is in fact a porn star, which naturally shuts Dana up. She leaves, and Jeremy is all proud of what he just did but of course Jenny busts on him because he's still not really okay with what she does, and Jeremy admits that's not, but he's willing to try and he knows that he'll be able to get used to it. Jeremy makes some really valid points that relationships are hard with any two people, but that these are special circumstances, and I was a little confused by Jenny's seeming inability to recognize that. Jeremy says the day will come when he's at peace with what she does, but it until it does, he's going to try. Jenny tells him that's not good enough for her. Then she smiles at him and says, "So long," and walks out whilst the sad music plays. So long, indeed, Jenny. So long, indeed.
Cut to Dana popping pills in her office, and how cool would it be if the writers took Casey and Dana down a Sid and Nancy storyline instead of Ross and Rachel or Sam and Diane or whoever. Anyway, Dana is rubbing her temples as Casey strolls in on yet another Mission of Morale. He sits down, and Dana concedes defeat in the draft day bet and gets her money out of her purse. Casey starts in with how he knows she doesn't have the "physical grace of a cougar or anything" but that she doesn't just fall down. Dana admits her skin broke out, which I suggested last recap, except I admit I meant the actress, not the character. Anyway, Casey alludes to a couple of other times it's happened, and Dana says it's a recurring nervous condition that has, well, recurred. "What are you nervous about?" asks Casey. "I don't know," says Dana, who does a really good job as someone desperately trying to hold things together. Casey tells her not to worry about him and Dan, and I'm surprised that his bringing it up didn't cause her face to explode right then. But she admits she's a little ticked off at Dan. Casey is much more generous with Dan here than he was to Dan's face earlier and points out that Dan blew off the golf game, which Dana snittily (yet correctly) points out he should have blown off. Casey tells her again not to worry about him. Dana changes the subject to Ryan O'Brien, the unclaimed football player, and gives him the rundown on the info being put together. Casey says okay, then "so don't worry about it." Dana non sequiturs that she should have had more t-shirts made and walks out. Casey follows. I wonder if maybe Dana might want to talk to a priest, since church is such a big part of her life now.
At the desk, Natalie is giving Dan the rundown on Ryan O'Brien, which consists solely of Danny asking questions of Casey. Dan wants to know why Casey doesn't have to ask Dan anything: "Why is it that I'm always the one asking and he's always the one who knows?" Natalie says her assignments are always very fair. Dan whines that they aren't fair today. "Today," says Natalie, "I'm pissed at you and I'm in no mood to make you look smart. You don't like it? Lump it. Take it down the road and dump it," like how old is Natalie anyway, she sounds like an eight-year-old switching best friends. Natalie's "take it or leave it, buster" brand of bossiness is cute when she's giving Casey socks as a Christmas present, but when it comes to her job, she might want to consider striving for a little more professionalism. Dan makes a face as Casey sits down and asks him if he knows about the Ryan O'Brien stuff.
Going back live, Dan intros the O'Brien info and says, "O'Brien was projected as a middle-to-late first-round pick. Here we are in the second round and Ryan and the O'Brien family are still waiting for the phone to ring. Casey, tell us -- why should we care?" Casey looks a little surprised at the non-scripted question but does his best to deal with it, as the crew all have various "what the hell is Dan doing?" reactions. Casey starts explaining that a drop from first to second round could mean a difference of millions in a player's salary, but Dan interrupts him and says that that's why Ryan O'Brien should care, but Dan wants to know why we (i.e. he, Casey, and the viewers) should care that "this twenty-two-year-old is going to make only three million his first year instead of five," and now the tension is creeping into Dan's voice. Casey says, "Well," as Dan watches with interest, "I, uh . . ." and falls silent, and Dan says, "Good answer, Casey," and throws to their correspondent, who might have some answers. In the control room, Dana looks perplexed. When they break, Casey, justifiably angry at being embarrassed on live television, says, "What the hell was that? What the hell are you doing, Danny?" Dan's look of defiance suddenly crumbles and he shakes his head and says he's sorry, sounding like he's on the verge of tears: "I'm really sorry, Casey, that was over the line." Casey continues to glare at him. "I'm really sorry, please," says Dan. Dana watches the proceedings. Casey's face softens as it looks like he finally realizes that there's a deeper pain here than one that can be attributed to missing a golf game. "Let's get it back," he says. "It's all right." They go back live. This was a riveting scene and I wish we could say we're through the worst of the trouble between Dan and Casey, but in the scenes for week's episode, it looks like Casey has a hard time forgiving Dan. Also, it looks like CSC might have to lose some people, and Natalie tells Jeremy she misses him.