"Top six, America!" chirps Cat, who also proclaims this the "toughest season ever." My grandfather tells me that this show was really tough in the '30s.
Adam Shankman joins Mary and Nigel at the judges' table
Courtney and Mark are practicing the Viennese waltz with Jason Gilkinson. Mark apparently grabs Courtney's boob, which I imagine is about as threatening as the shower curtain brushing one's breast.
David Cook sings "The Time Of My Life" as they waltz across the stage, with nice turns and arm movement. This song might be a little fast for a waltz -- it has them bobbing up and down very rapidly. Nice lifts.
Adam says it's "terrifying" up there for the judges, because all the dancers are so good, and they don't know how America's going to vote. He praises Mark's "rise and fall," which is I guess what the bobbing up and down is. Mary screams something about how they know how to choreograph in the LAND DOWN UNDER! When her voice returns to normal human speaking levels, she praises the dance. Nigel also liked it, and takes the opportunity to plug American Idol, which is where that song apparently secreted from.
Chelsie comes out to dance her some old hip-shaking solo in a black dress with sparkly boobs and green fringe. She ends with the splits.
Twitch dances a slower (at first) popping solo to Midnight Star, putting in a fake gold grill and eyeglasses. Good idea, because the gimmicky solo worked so well for Will last week. Cat continues to impress by demanding he hand over the fake grill so she can try it on, spit and all.
Joshua and Katee are back together again, dancing a Tyce Diorio contemporary piece, doing a Romeo and Juliet West Side Story-type thing. To Céline Dion's "All By Myself." I didn't even know she recorded this song. I suppose it wasn't cheesy enough, huh? The dancers do a nice job with the lifts and whathaveyou. I didn't hate this, like I often do. Katee leaps, legs splayed, landing on Joshua's outstretched arms. Nice. And then, at the end, I suppose, they die.
Adam falls into the choreographer's trap of thinking this is So You Think You Can Choreograph and tongue-bathes Tyce, talks about how they met while doing the Oscars in 1990, and also there's Paula Abdul! Didn't she show up for one brief on-camera appearance last year? He calls Katee and Joshua the most exciting dancers that have ever graced that stage, which seems a little bit much. Mary screeches a whole lot, and then the judges are on their feet, and Mary is having a seizure, or something. This all means she thought it was good. Nigel points out legendary choreographer Gillian Lynne in the audience; she's done Cats and Phantom of the Opera. Yes, but did she ever choreograph MC Skat Kat in "Opposites Attract"? I don't think so.
Twitch and Chelsie are doing a Tony and Melanie mambo. The big difference, majorly confusing Twitch, is the counting. He also has to hike up his pants, Urkel-style, so that Chelsie doesn't get entangled in his crotch as she goes between his legs. They dance to Victor Manuelle. Chelsie's in a red version of the same half-dress that she and Courtney fight over every week. Twitch isn't exactly in Chelsie's league -- she exudes an effortless sexiness that really suits the song -- but he does hold his own. Their footwork is great, and they're spinning and spinning, Chelsie shedding feathers.
Adam says Chelsie is on fire, and says Twitch was a really strong partner despite being out of his element. He also points out that dressing Twitch in black and white while Chelsie is in "tomato red" is a mistake, because his eye is drawn always to Chelsie. Mary similarly gives Twitch "huge props" for being mostly on time, despite not having much experience with this counting. She calls Chelsie a firecracker. Nigel praises Chelsie, and says Tony and Melanie did a good job choreographing a mambo routine for someone who's never done it before. But there was a point in the routine where Twitch made a mistake, during the (dance term I have no hope of deciphering), and he let it register on his face, which he shouldn't have. But overall, he did a great job.
Katee dances a football-rally cheerleader routine to Maroon 5. Go get 'em, boys! We're going for State!
Joshua dances a shoulder-shimmying, high-jump-splitting solo to Memphis Bleek. Either give the dancers more time for these or scrap them. They're really blending into each other.
Sonya Tayeh's got her hair back in a Mohawk to teach Mark and Courtney a jazz routine, which will work along the lines of the tired "battle of the sexes" routine. Speaking of tired, let's have a jazz-hands joke right off the top!
Mirah's "The Garden." Courtney's dressed in Victoria Secret's finest and a single holey stocking. Very beat heavy and headbanging. Mark, um, takes Courtney from behind. There is strutting, elbows jutting out. And Courtney wins the battle of the sexes. Sonya's out of her chair yelling at how awesome it is, or perhaps she spotted Mad Max trying to steal her gas.
"That was sick! That was so good! I loved that so hard!" yells Adam, screaming at Sonya that she's an "exciting new presence." He talks like a press release! He also says Courtney and Mark are crazy together. Speaking of crazy, Mary hollers a whole lot, and blew my speakers. Nigel talks about how that routine really personifies Sonya, and calls the routine one of the highlights of tonight's show.
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Katee and Joshua are doing a paso doble, choreographed by Jason Gilkison. Uh oh, stop the routine! Joshua lost his shirt! The music is the kind of semi-operatic stuff used mainly on commercials for beer and body spray. Then the strobe lights come on, and there is more angry movement. I realize this is modeled after bullfights, but other than that -- "Katee and Joshua, when they're together, true magic definitely happens on that stage, which is what it's all about," says Mary. Then she screeches at Joshua, something about how he's going to win the show if he keeps dancing like that. Nigel concurs, which Mary thinks is permission to start screaming again. Okay, seriously: why is anyone still encouraging this obnoxiousness? Oh, she's just "enthusiastic." I'm sorry. I used to have FUNCTIONING EARDRUMS, but at least you're enthusiastic.
Courtney dances a solo to Elisa's "Rock Your Soul." She flails her arms around, twirls and spins, and it's over before anyone has time to even yawn. I mean, it's really not the dancers' fault; they only have thirty seconds, so they're obligated to cram everything in there, and they all end up looking the same.
The final solo is Mark, who dances for the please-go-away-soon Robyn. He struts around like a bird. A bird that pulls up its tanktop until it's wrapped around its neck. All right, why not?
Chelsie and Twitch are doing a Taboleon hip-hop routine. The theme: crazy conductors that are searching for control (i.e. the baton). Whuzzah? Straight from the streets of Harlem! There's even a music stand on stage, and Twitch and Chelsie strut out on stage in tuxedos (well, tuxedos with shorts and sneakers, anyway). They wrestle for control of the bright-green baton; whoever has it has control of the other. It's kinda interesting to watch -- certainly funny and inventive. Arms interlocking, legs splitting.
Adam lauds Taboleon first, and then the dancers, particularly Chelsie. Well, only Chelsie, actually. Mary says Twitch has always been stellar in everything he's done this year (for example, hard-hitting hip-hop, smooth hip-hop, and comedic hip-hop. Diverse!). Mary praises Chelsie for keeping up with Twitch. Cat asks Nigel about the performance aspect of the dance, and he says, "You can watch this show even if you don't give a damn about dancing." Yeah, I'm sure lots of people who hate dancing are tuning in every week, Nigel. As for the dancing, he offers the radical notion that any of the top six dancers could be in the top four.
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