Cat's in a gold dress that's almost as shiny as her hair, which is hippie-chick straight and parted in the center. She announces the top four dancers on the stage, and four is not enough to adequately mob Cat as she strolls on to the dance floor, unfortunately doing that "4 Real" nonsense on her shoulder.
So everyone's dancing with everyone tonight (including "Joshuer" and Twitch, so get ready for some gay panic!).
Mandy Moore -- hey, did you know she's nominated for an Emmy? -- is sitting in with Mary and Nigel tonight.
First up: Courtney and Twitch, doing a Taboleon hip-hop routine. Napoleon promises it will be really "raw" and depict a pissed-off woman looking for her boyfriend in the club. We get a looong montage of rehearsal hijinks, and we're promised that Twitch will get punched in the crotch." Then they perform to "Church" by T-Pain. Courtney chases Twitch around the dance floor and yells at him, while he makes blah-blah-blah gestures with his hand. She air-punches him. She appears to pull a shotgun out of his pains and shoots it (at the disco ball?) but that's probably because there's a shotgun sound effect in the song. Twitch swings Courtney around on his shoulders, and the routine ends with Twitch in church, on his knees, praying. It's surely Taboleon's hardest-hitting hip hop, which is kind of like Hefty Smurf being the toughest Smurf. But it was pretty good -- energetic.
"You guys, that was awesome! Way to start it out!" chirps Mandy, saying she really felt the crazy girlfriend thing. Mary yells something about feeling the "crazy judge" thing, and then she yells at Courtney, something about being awesome, and then she screeches it, hamming it up, EVEN FOR HER. Nigel says when this is all over, he's going to miss everyone and everything, except for one thing: and then he pretends to shriek, but he can't make his voice get that high. He thought it was great -- after wondering what it is about Twitch that inspires choreographers give him crazy girlfriend routines.
Cat asked each of the dancers about what they're from, and what they're going to take away from the experience. Courtney's from New York, and she says everyone yells at each other instead of talking. She reminisces about her grandparents coming with her to the audition. What's she going to take away from this? "I know I'm not the best dancer. I don't think the show is about being the best dancer." She's got a boyfriend, named Brett. "There was this whole thing with you and Gev and the chemistry..." says Cat. That doesn't have anything to do with over-invested fans who insist that people who work together on-screen also sleep together, does it? Courtney talks about how great it's been to have her family support her, and she's made it farther than she expected to.
This leads into Courtney's final solo of the competition. She spins and jumps -- what? That's it? Seriously? OK, you guys have TWO HOURS and FOUR DANCERS. Let them dance a full routine!
Mandy talks about how far Courtney has come and how it's important to train. Mary talks about how Courtney has fought for everything, and how she's an inspiration to lots of young girls, which makes Courtney start to cry. Nigel says he's delighted Courtney's in the top four, because none of them would have predicted it. "America has taken you to their heart, you're a bundle of joy to be with," he says. He says she should become a teacher as well, because she energizes everyone around her.
Katee and Joshua are up , dancing for Wade Robson. Katee thinks being in the top four is "ridiculously crazy" and that she's been smiling for days. Have we ever seen Katee not smile? Wade tells us the theme of his piece is "love is hard work."
They take the floor to "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room" by John Mayer. Slow and languid, with a rigid Katee being pulled this way and that by Joshua. She bends backward and he lifts her up with his foot. I'm not convinced that love is hard work so much as love appears to be a whole lot of whining and wailing, and you get heavy arms like "Thriller" zombies. They hug at the end, so I guess everything worked out.
Joshua can barely respond to Cat, he's so emotionally overcome. Mandy calls it beautiful, and says it's great to have Wade back. She says she was sold right from the beginning, with Katee inhaling and exhaling. Katee is uncharacteristically subdued taking in the comments. Mary agrees that the piece was beautiful and amazing, and "it's so nice" that the couple ended up together at the end of the performance. Nigel says there were "many remarkable things" about that routine. Chief among them is that Wade's back. Yeah, Mandy covered that, Nigel. He says everything that was "show-bizzy" about dancing was stripped from the routine. He says Katee danced it brilliantly, and talks about Joshua's "uncontrolled control." He calls Joshua brilliant as well. He says they're two of the best dancers they've ever had on the show.
Katee and Courtney are now performing a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine. "We have a girly-girl routine for once," says Katee. Translation: parasols! It's true you don't see many lumberjacks carrying parasols.
Their routine is to the "The Trolley Song" by Rufus Wainwright. Courtney appears to be late for... well, the trolley, I suppose. They skip and prance about the stage in froofy dresses, Courtney yellow and Katee, pink. Well, this is where all the "show-bizzy" stuff went after it was stripped from Joshua and Katee's routine.
Mandy calls it beautiful, that it was very old Hollywood. Mary says dancing with umbrellas can be dangerous, but they pulled it off. Nigel calls it a "happy routine." He advises Courtney to finish every move, like Katee does. He says Katee has just that little extra bit that makes him go "wow," and hastens to add that there's a miniscule amount between the two of them. Again, Katee barely shows any emotion.
Cat sits down with Twitch to find out what the deal is with his nickname. He says he was all fidgety in inappropriate places as a child, because he always wants to move. He grew up with his grandparents in Montgomery, Alabama, where there's not a lot to do. He almost joined the navy, he says, since he's deathly afraid of working a nine-to-five. Sure! What's easier than joining the military? He talks about the energy Kherington had, and how happy he was to paired with her through most of the season, and her elimination caught him off-guard. He says his favorite routine was Jean-Marc Genereux's Viennese waltz, the one based on his handicapped daughter. He says puts everything he can into dancing because it's the least he can give back to the art form.
"It Was All In Your Mind" by Wade Robson. Suck-up! It's extra-twitchy popping and locking. Good stuff. Being able to see the video-screen behind him explains why the dingbat audience members haven't been counting down the last few seconds of the routines anymore: the countdown clock is no longer up there.
Mandy says things about sparkling eyes. Mary lists all the great dances he's done (apparently, he's krumped like no other they've ever had!). Nigel confesses to being happy when Twitch was in the bottom three, because it meant he got to watch a Twitch solo. Amen. He talks about Twitch's humor, and calls him a great entertainer, which is bigger than being a great dancer.
Joshua and Twitch are paired up, and Cat says this will settle a feud that's been brewing since they arrived in Hollywood. And we watch a cute montage of the men mockingly calling each other out.
And what better way to settle things than with a Russian trepak, choreographed by Youri Nelzine? Twitch says the dance is very testosterone driven, what with the kicking and the spinning, and the brightly colored baggy pants and sashes!
The dance itself doesn't do much for me. The guys don't seem to be skilled enough to give the dancing the energy it deserves, and they just take turns trying to top each other. Physically speaking, it's ridiculous; the high leaps that the guys do, especially Joshua, are amazing. Elevation! But watching them stamp around and pretend to yawn at each other's moves like a Russian dance version of 8 Mile wasn't that interesting.
It earns a standing ovation from the judges, though, and Mandy's all, "Sorry, ladies, but guys rule." Mary screeches about how awesome it is that they have two hip-hop dancers in the finale for the first time. Well, good job sticking them with a tough Russian dance, then. She yells and yells and screams. Nigel says he expected them to be good at it, since it's Russian street dancing. He says the routine will be something that will be spoken about for years to come.
It's Katee's turn to come under the tough grilling of Cat Deeley. We go back to Vegas and reminisce about Katee almost throwing away her shot by shitting on Nigel's suggestion that she come back year if she doesn't make it this year, which is great, if you haven't heard Nigel bring it up constantly all season. She reminisces about her first partner dance with Joshua, and we watch a Katee-so-crazy-backstage montage.
"Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap is the music for Katee's solo. Oh, god, that's this song. I hate this song! Katee does the best job possible dancing to a crappy song.
Mandy's advice for Katee: "Keep dancing!" Thank you, Mandy. Mary calls her a beautiful, athletic dancer, and Nigel praises all the different characters she portrayed, as well as the way she finishes her moves.
Twitch and Katee are partnering for a foxtrot, so we "enjoy" some "wackiness" involving Twitch cutting in on Joshua. Tony and Melanie are the choreographers, and we watch a lot of awkward positioning of the two of them. Katee's thrilled that she winds up with the man at the end of the song, and Twitch confirms that she's been chasing a man all season.
"Feeling Good" by Michael Bublé, Oh, come ON! I don't know if Twitch is still tired from the trepak, but this dance seems to be all Katee. She's cartwheeling and twirling, and he's just kind of there.
Mandy calls it "very romantic." Man, I can't believe I didn't figure this out sooner: every dance tonight is going to be awesome, in the judge's minds, right? Mandy praises one of Twitch's lifts. Apparently, putting someone in a tuxedo makes him look like James Bond, so Nigel makes Twitch say, "The name's Bond. James Bond," and Cat swoons. Mary praises the sweating-profusely Twitch, and all she says to Katee is "bravo!" Nigel lauds everything Katee has done, and Katee finally allows herself to smile. Nigel says Twitch was a little too strait-laced at the beginning (too British, says Nigel. Well, shut up about James Bond, then!) but then he relaxed. He says Tony and Melanie have been spoiled, because they'll never again get a dancer so good at pressage.
Cat sits down with Joshua , and asks what growing up was like for him. He says his family didn't have a whole lot of money for dance lessons, but they scraped it together for him whenever they could. He also played football and ran track, but had to choose between the sports and the singing and dancing, and candidly admits that his coaches hated him after he quit football. Cat accuses him of being the biggest blubberer on the show, and then breaks down herself. Love her. He says his favorite routine was the samba he did with Katee. "Everything here is a blessing," he says.
For his solo routine, he dances to Funkadelic. You KNOW I'm down with that. He does some popping and then runs over to the judges table and pops and locks right to Nigel, ending with the splits.
Mandy calls him smooth and full of charisma, and says he was wonderful. "Wow! What can I say?" yells Mary. Try NOTHING for once! She mentions "hot tamale train," and it's now in my TWoP contract that I get to ignore her once she says that. Nigel says Joshua has set the standard for having untrained dancers on the show. But ... he did have some kind of dance lessons, right? He said so in the interview with Cat.
Courtney and Joshua are dancing a Jason Gilkison jive. Courtney says she's nervous because the dance is very fast. Jason says Courtney and Joshua have raised the bar "one billion percent." I suppose he might have said "one trillion" but didn't want to oversell it.
Anyone who's watched this show at all can by now identify a drum beat as being Brian Setzer-esque, can't they? "Dirty Boogie" is the music. Boring dance, out of sync in a lot of areas. I'm just not feeling it tonight. I guess I'll wait for the judges to tell me how awesome it actually was. At least it ends on a relatively high note, with Joshua swinging Courtney around his body and then doing backflips. Standing to Cat, the two of them look absolutely exhausted.
Mandy: "Holy moley!" She loved it. Mary says the jive is hard enough without all the flourishes put in by Jason (oh, and if you're wondering how it is an Aussie knows how to do the jive? It's because it's the same everywhere, basically. Thanks, Mary). Nigel praises the choreography, and then says he was disappointed in a lot of it -- the double bounce, the kicks. He shuts up the booers by pointing out that the whole reason for the comments is so the dancers learn something, which they won't if the judges just say things are good when they're not. He also refers to how hard this particular jive was, and calls Courtney and Joshua "brilliant, exhausted dancers."
The final performance of the evening is a contemporary piece by Mia Michaels, featuring all four dancers. We watch tired, sweaty dancers rehearsing, the streets outside the studio windows pitch-black, which gives us an indication of how late it is and how hard they've been working this past week. I mean, hats off -- three partner dancers, one solo, and a Mia Michaels piece, and presumably a group dance for tomorrow night, right? I'm sweating just thinking about it.
The Vitamin String Quartet doing "Hallelujah." The dancers are in tartans, the men are shirtless. It's very energetic and not one of Mia Michael's sappier routines. Very athletic. The girls through a loop the men make with their arms, and are caught, which Mia's done before, but it's still a cool move. So I haven't liked much about the other routines, but I like the Mia Michaels piece? What the hell is going on here?
Mandy blathers on about transcending the physicality, and she has the feeling she just witnessed something amazing. She says she would never have put the four of them together, but they danced together like a dance company. Mary praises Mia, and then says the dancers have to bring their A-game at this part of the season (could the judges enlighten us, since the dancers face elimination all the time, just when it's OK to not bring their best game). She singles out Twitch for praise, and calls Katee flawless. She's proud of them. Likewise Nigel, who praises Twitch and Joshua, two untrained dancers in the top four. He says Twitch and Joshua are the answer when people wonder how a dancer like Will could be eliminated. "I'll name names, I don't care," he says, adding that the two of them are inspiration for any one who hasn't had the same dance training that other kids might have. He calls the women "shining beacons," and then moves on the routine itself. He knows the dancers are tired, but when someone buys a ticket to the show, he doesn't want to know if the dancers are tired. "No one would complain after that performance," he says.
The judges send off the dancers with a standing ovation. This time tomorrow, we'll know who America's Favorite Dancer, At Least Among Those Who Watch This Show, At Least For A Year ™ will be.
Discuss who you think should win in our forums. And don't forget to cast your vote in our annual Tubey Awards.