Oh dear.
Davis continues his whacked-out downward spiral, going so far as to confess to a priest that he's got a beast inside of him. But what we really see is him taking down scum on the streets and saving poor addicts from themselves. Maybe the show should be about him? Maybe?
Meanwhile, Chloe is gearing up for Jimmy's return to the area as he's transferred to Metropolis General. Clark is happy for her, which is surprising given how busy he's been setting records saving people as the still stupidly named Red-Blue Blur and making sure the security cameras catch him so he can be an anonymous beacon of hope. Good luck with that, Clark. Chloe goes to see Jimmy at the hospital and he's going through some rough times. He's messed up about his wedding injuries and in a lot of pain, hopelessly addicted to the morphine drip. It doesn't help that he keeps having hallucinations mixed with seeing David possibly kill someone in the hospital. When Jimmy tries to accuse Davis, he just ends up looking silly and drugged-out. Davis offers Chloe a shoulder to cry on and Jimmy sees them hugging, propelling him into a jealous tizzy. David and Chloe acknowledge their kiss and Davis assures Chloe that he's moved on. Jimmy, on the other hand, hasn't moved on at all. Jimmy escapes from the hospital and follows Davis. He finds a dead body in the ambulance and Davis drugs him up. Jimmy has a freak-out at the hospital in front of staff, where it's obvious he's tripping. Later on, Jimmy escapes again and follows Davis, who is about to turn into Doomsday. He believes Davis is murdering people and trying to get Jimmy out of the way to have Chloe to himself. Davis, about to turn into a monster, is saved when Chloe stun-guns Jimmy. Chloe's presence makes Davis go back to normal. But the big loser here is Jimmy. When he's released from the hospital, he tells Chloe he's tired of never being trusted over Clark or Davis and that things are over. He takes his pills and goes driving, quickly becoming an addict. Chloe cries and cries and calls someone, presumably Davis, for comfort.
Meanwhile, Tess Mercer asks Clark to come with her to an event in Los Angeles. In the air on Oliver's private jet (now co-owned by LuthorCorp.) they talk about Lex, whom Tess knows had a dangerous obsession with Clark. Clark offers drinks to try to get her inebriated enough to reveal what she knows about him. It doesn't work. Instead, Tess tells Clark about her childhood abuse and, playing the sympathy card, tries to get Clark to reveal his own secret, which she already seems to know. Clark doesn't. But when the plane suddenly starts to go down, Tess tries to find out anyway. She lies about not being able to find parachutes on the plane and says that the pilot is missing. Clark puts an oxygen mask on her, cuts off the air on it and jumps out of the exploding plane with her to safety. Later, we find out the plane crash was just a ploy when Tess hands the pilot a new identity and a suitcase full of cash. Clark tries to explain that he found one parachute (and is not aware there was a second one). Tess seems to have all the proof she needs about Clark now. How turbulent.
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First off, thanks to Tippi for subbing last week while I wallowed in the technology orgy that was South by Southwest Interactive for work. It was my first break in almost five years, which goes to show that you can be drastically loyal to pretty much any chunk of pop culture for an extended period of time if somebody's paying you for it. It helps if it's a little gay, to pass the time.Onward! We open on Stately Luthor Manor at night. We're viewing it from the outside, looking at a large stained-glass window. Inside, we see a painting showing Jesus being tended to by the Apostles. At least, I sure hope that's Jesus, or the stained-glass artist has a terrible sense of humor. A bald, serious-looking priest is sitting below it. Wait a minute, this isn't Luthor Manor, it's a church! Way to fool me, show. They both look like castles with lots of stained glass from the outside. In fact, I'm not convinced they didn't just recycle a chunk of the manor from an angle we haven't seen before. The priest slides open a panel in the confessional. That's a fancy confessional booth to have expensive artwork inside. A man, in silhouette on the other side of the panel, asks to be blessed, for he has sinned. He's hurt a lot of people. Al? Miles? PS3? Is that you? The priest is curious. Hurt a lot of people, eh? That sounds juicy! Let me get my blog software up. The man confessing, whom we can tell from the handsome profile is Davis/Doomsday, says that something inside him takes over. It's a beautiful song! "La la la LA!" No? No time for a song? All right, then. You'll be sorry when we take this thing to Broadway, CW Network. If that is your REAL network name. Davis leans forward against the partition and we can see his face lit. He says it's a beast. Inside of him. It's named Murray and it only wants to watch The History Channel. The priest, who has a cool little white beatnik beard, says that we all have our inner demons. Heck, I like to wear Uggs under these robes. People say I'm crazy, but I tell them the Lord works in mysterious ways to keep my feet awesome.
The priest adds that Davis must control these urges. Davis, shaky, says he's trying. Davis says he drives through Metropolis at night looking for a way to save himself. He wishes there were some sort of theme song about somebody saving me, but he's at a loss. As he's talking, his face flashes orange and we do a cool, seamless transition to Davis driving his ambulance. Davis says there's pimps and thieves and so much crime on the streets. What are you, Rorschach from Watchmen? Davis stops the ambulance in a shady warehouse area and sees what appears to be an assault that makes a young man drop to the ground. In the ambulance, Davis balls up his fist and turns on the siren. The assaulter, who has stringy long hair, scrambles and runs. Davis, flashlight in hand, runs to a boy who's lying on the ground. He is telling the priest in voiceover that when he finds someone who's lost their way, he reaches out. The boy is reaching out for a vial of drugs on the ground. Davis crushes it with his boot. Davis picks the boy up roughly and yells, "GO HOME!" in his I-am-turning-into-a-monster growl. The boy runs. Davis puffs some breath. The assaulter, who has a thin moustache to match his greasy hair, stands against a fence, unable to climb. Davis approaches him. He tells the priest that when he finds evil, he does everything in his power to put it at an end. Davis's eyes light up red as the guy says he's not even a cop. Davis grabs the dude and throws him against a car, shattering a window. He snaps the guy's neck as his eyes flash red. We hear a sickening crack. Davis says that when he stops the wickedness he sees, it keeps the beast from coming out and makes him feel human. Good... for you?
We flash back to Davis in the confessional. The priest advises him to stay on the righteous path. Kill some bums and whores. Stay human, buddy. God loves ya. He is advised to overcome evil with good. Davis has to think about that. He kisses his rosary and gets ready to leave. Wow. Intense. But I'm sure Clark will show up any minute and ruin the mood.
Opening credits. Commercials. Sears isn't going out of business despite this crap economy, and don't you forget it. Wanna buy a washer/dryer? SEARS WILL BE HERE WHEN YOU ARE READY.
Kent Farm, daytime. The cows can't believe this shit got renewed for a ninth season. What farmer does a cow have to blow around here to get some early retirement? Inside, Clark, dressed in a natty dark suit, is coming down the stairs looking supremely confident. He's going to be the best-dressed choreboy ever! Clark goes to the kitchen table and grabs a backpack we've never seen before, a bright red monstrosity that even a fashionably stunted German schoolboy wouldn't wear on a trip to America. Does it go with the suit? It does not. Chloe comes in without knocking. She's wearing a purple scarf that also would not go with the egregious backpack. She says she hasn't seen Clark this pumped since he threw the winning pass for the Crows in the State Championships. I kinda like the State Championship on Friday Night Lights better. That had me pumped. Clark agrees it's tough to top that, but thinks he might have done it last night. Oh no. Did he have sex with a tailor? Chloe says she heard about Clark's night. She says it was like his "coming-out party." It's a little late for that. One day, long ago, I would have made an easy gay joke, but these days it only works if you're feeling nostalgic. But they still try, don't they?
Chloe pours herself some coffee that Clark probably didn't even make and says that Clark had more saves the night before than Billy Graham at a revival meeting. I think it's just called a "revival," Chloe. No meeting. Clark thought she'd be happy about his new dual identity. He stands there with his silly backpack strapped to his shoulder. Chloe asks if Clark had to make a Red-Blue Blur appearance on every traffic cam in town. Cark says that slowing his super speed enough to appear on video is not easy. "I wasn't even sure it worked the first few times," he says playfully. He sure got over Lana fast. Come to think of it, so did I. Chloe thinks he might be overdoing it. Clark says he'll take that chance if it gives people hope. Chloe hopes that Clark's rush to inspire "Joe Sixpack" doesn't reveal his real identity. Clark says the newspaper is the perfect cover. Yes, we newspaper people have lots of time to go fight crime in between not getting fucking laid off every single day. It's perfect. Chloe asks if he's going to change clothes in the middle of the bullpen. As a matter of fact, Clark says, he's been working on that and getting really good at it. "Watch," he says. He blurs out and reappears, blurring down the stairs in his red jacket and blue shirt. Oh. Wow. You shouldn't have. That outfit is a red-blue BORE! (Snap, snap.) Big ups to my dead friend Mr. Blackwell. I'm tipping over a 40-ounce dry martini in your honor. Chloe grins. I joke, but this is the kind of cute, fun moment the show could use more of. How about taking a break from killing motherfuckers every week to do a little enjoyable character development?
Clark zips out and reappears, this time with the suit and the red backpack. Chloe jokes that she doesn't want to pre-empt his America's Top Model appearance, but he's got a wardrobe malfunction. His collar is open and his tie is loose. Chloe says he's not inspiring much confidence with that. Clark buttons up his collar. Chloe reminds him that after Lex died, his personal files ended up back at LuthorCorp. She asks what'll happen when Tess gets her hands on those. Another season of shows, maybe? Clark clumsily changes the subject. He says Chloe doesn't have to worry about him or about Tess: she should be worried about Jimmy. That's why you did a fashion show and had a whole conversation about yourself before bringing up Jimmy? Yes, priorities, Clark, of course! Why didn't we think of that? Clark says he saw Jimmy the night before and he's still pretty shaken up. You should tell his wife. Oh, whoops, I forgot, she's standing right there. Chloe blinks. Clark is upset he wasn't able to protect Jimmy at the wedding. Chloe says Clark did what he could and that now Jimmy's closer to home since he got transferred to Met Gen. Met Jen is what Angelina Jolie wishes she'd never had to do. Chloe says she thinks the future looks brighter for him. The camera zooms in on that for extra emphasis to let us know that this is not at all how things are going to turn out. You've been warned. Clark cracks a tiny smile of support.
Jimmy at the hospital. He's making an ugly, frowny face as he stares at a button he's pressing by his hospital bed. It's the morphine drip. He keeps pressing the handheld button. It glows, but apparently nothing is happening and Jimmy's all strung out. Chloe comes in and sees this sad scene. She tells him that the machine is set to a certain dosage and won't give him more. She takes the button away from Jimmy, who releases it reluctantly. Jimmy says his pain is Hummer-sized, not hybrid. Would you settle for a dose of four-door sedan? Chloe, looking worried, says that being in a hospital bed for five weeks does a number on you. That number is "Five." But she wonders if Jimmy's ailments may go beyond the physical. Jimmy scoffs. Chloe suggests he talk to a psychologist. Annoyed, Jimmy says he doesn't need a shrink, he just needs to go home. With a big bag of morphine. He will call it Morphy and have sex with its morphine eye socket. Wow, you're pretty gross to even think that up, Jimmy. Jimmy thinks he'll be fine as long as Chloe's fine. "Jimmy, I wasn't the one that was practically mauled to death," she says. Jimmy loves reliving that. He asks if that beast has shown up anywhere else. Chloe says the villagers have put away their pitchforks, which is an odd thing to say. It's like the monster is the good guy. She thinks it's gone forever. She pulls the covers up on Jimmy. He's not convinced. "We would have heard about it," she assures him. Jimmy can't believe the monster just dropped in and destroyed everything. That's how I used to feel about Lana. Chloe says it's a pitfall of living in the meteor freak capital of the world. Jimmy says it's a sign they're meant to be together. If a King Kong meteor freak can't take Chloe away, he reasons, they'll be together forever. You keep on thinking that, buddy. We'll see what happens. They hug. No kiss. Just a hug. Chloe still looks worried.
Jimmy in his hospital bed later, at night. He's having flashbacks to the wedding and all the destruction, including his own slashed midsection. He sees the beast carrying Chloe and hears screaming. Jimmy wakes up, sweaty. He bangs on the morphine pump and yells for a nurse. "I'm in a lot of pain here! Nurse!" he yells. No one answers. Jimmy removes his IV and gets out of bed. He walks down the hallway. Everything is dark and empty. He asks for some pain medicine. A bearded man suddenly grabs Jimmy and asks for help. Jimmy thinks he's been drinking. The man runs down the hall. Jimmy goes after him. Someone grabs the man and puts a bag over his head, slamming him against the inside of an elevator wall as Jimmy watches. The man falls. A hooded figure turns around. We see Davis in shadows as he looks toward Jimmy. The elevator door closes in front of Davis.
Commercials. Bolt on DVD. Against all odds, this one looks like a winner.
Daily Planet, daytime. Clark throws his ridiculous backpack on the desk and the desk is like, "Oh, no you don't. That thing is ugly." Clark has his computer's browser set to the Metropolis Police Web site. A pop-up window helpfully alerts him to a police stand-off at Main and 5th. Instead of heading over there, Clark sits down. He is a man of serious inaction. Clark watches the word "Alert!" blink several times before Tess Mercer shows up at his desk saying, sarcastically, "Nifty knapsack, Kent!" Psst, Clark... I don't think she really means it! It's not nifty at all! She asks if he's on his way to P.E. See? I told you! Clark says, unconvincingly, that he just got back from the gym. Tess tells Clark that if he wants to graduate from the bullpen to the corner office (hasn't he only been working for like two or three months?) that he needs to look the part. Age about 30 years and look stressed about your industry going down the toilet. Tess carries off Clark's bag without asking, saying they can find him something a little less High School Musical and a little more Louis Vuitton. Clark worriedly grabs at the backpack, saying he doesn't want his boss going through his underwear. He neglected to add the word "smelly." Tess says she'll take Clark shopping when they get back. He asks where they're going. Tess says L.A. Wouldn't the shopping be better in L.A. than in the middle of Kansas? No disrespect, Metropolis. Smiling, Tess says she's announcing the new Mercer Media Group. MMG in the house, bitches! Tess says she's holding a press conference and needs a friendly reporter to lob softballs. Unless she means actual softballs, that's a lame way to run a newspaper. Clark can't believe he's going. Tess says every cub reporter gets his big break and this happens to be Clark's. She knows this from how many years of publishing experience? Tess tells Clark not to underestimate his talents. "There's no telling where they'll take you. The sky is the limit," she says. Are we done here? Please say we're done here. Clark looks disappointed. She asks if Clark has more important things to do. Clark frowns. "No. Of course not." The elevator dings behind Tess. Without moving, she says the only reporters she wants working for her are ones who take their job seriously. She finally stands aside and lets Clark walk into the elevator. She gives him the sly sideway eyes as the elevator door closes in front of them.
Metropolis General. Jimmy is standing in the hospital room, looking troubled. Chloe, wearing a bright yellow coat, comes into the room. "Hey!" she says. She came after the police called. Jimmy says he's doing well, considering someone was murdered in the hospital the night before. He can't say the same about Davis. Chloe asks if Davis was hurt. That stops Jimmy in his tracks. "Hurt?" Jimmy asks, "No, he was the killer!" He says he saw Davis murder someone right in front of him. Just then, Davis walks in, lightly knocking on the door. Awk-ward! Jimmy shoves Chloe behind him and asks what Davis is doing there. Davis says that thanks to Jimmy, he got cuffed, detained for six hours and questioned by a homicide detective with foul coffee breath. Jimmy can't believe they let him go. Jimmy is outraged by this injustice. Outraged! Jimmy starts to yell about what he saw, but Chloe stops him. Davis admits that Jimmy saw him, but says he was only there to visit a patient who'd been brought into the ER. It was a fatal drunk driving accident and the drunk guy ran. Everyone was looking for him. Davis says he found Jimmy wandering the halls, completely out of it. Jimmy insists on what he saw. Davis says that Jimmy's morphine pump malfunctioned and was giving him double dosage. Chloe says that she was there the day before and it wasn't doing that. Jimmy nods like, "Yeah! That's why I got married!" Davis says that somehow it malfunctioned. He casts a level gaze on Jimmy. "Did you do something to it?" he asks. Jimmy is shocked. Davis says nobody would blame Jimmy; he was in a lot of pain. Jimmy insists there's nothing wrong with the pump. Davis says they can ask the doctors or nurses. Davis goes all dickish, scoffing and excusing himself, saying he'll stay out of Jimmy's way. He refrains from circling a finger to his head and going, "Coo-KOO!" Chloe has no idea what to believe. Jimmy crinkles his nose, thinking, "What the fuck just happened?"
We see Davis walking down the hallway outside the room. He pushes a button on the nearby elevator. Chloe follows him out. "Davis," she says, "I feel terrible." Is it because your coat is buttoned up all the way and Davis is in a short-sleeved shirt? Davis says he knows how painkillers work and knows that Jimmy is on some heavy stuff. Chloe, apologetic, says that Davis doesn't deserve to be the killer in Jimmy's psycho thriller. Davis scratches his ear and says he's not surprised Jimmy thinks that way, given that he kissed Jimmy's bride. Chloe takes a long moment with that and reveals that Jimmy doesn't know about that. Davis squints and moves his eyes around. He assumed he did. Chloe says she didn't want Jimmy to make a big deal out of it. Davis, taken aback, apologizes again for making Chloe's life more complicated. He says he accepts that Jimmy got the girl. How nice of you to see it that way and not think of it as Chloe making a choice on her own. Davis says he's moving on. Chloe, nervous, nods. Davis says he's here if Jimmy needs anything. Chloe looks back toward the door. She sighs. Now that the kiss is out of the way, Davis leans in close and asks what's wrong. He says Chloe can talk to him. That doesn't seem like a good idea. Chloe, near tears, wonders if this wouldn't have happened if Jimmy had never met her. Of that you can be sure. Davis hugs Chloe as she cries. It's a long hug. Davis looks like he wants to cry, too. The camera circles around and we see Jimmy watching them from behind the blinds in his room. He looks very suspicious.
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Tess, wearing a long white coat, and Clark, wearing his work duds, enter Oliver's private jet. Clark is surprised they're using it. Tess says that LuthorCorp and Queen Industries (now there's two names that go together) are one happy conglomerate. She says, "We share all of our toys." Dirty! The pilot, a strapping, tall man, says they may have to re-route their flight to Santa Barbara because of weather. He's Captain Nichols. Clark hears that Tess has been racking up a lot of frequent-flyer miles. She says that happens when you try to charm foreigners with your global endeavor. She says she also had to make a pit stop in Geneva to see a plastic surgeon. She explains that it wasn't a "nip/tuck" [So no lady cha-cha lips? - Zach], but to remove some bio-tech hardware that Lex had installed into her. Her eyes look all right, though. "I had to have it sliced out," she says. Ouchie. Clark says he heard from Lana what she went through. "I'm sorry," he says, lamely. "What about what Lex put you through?" she asks. She inquires how many years Lex pretended to be Clark's friend. Clark thinks he and Lex did have a real friendship at one point. "You were his obsession," she explains, patiently. Yeah, Clark. What the fuck? Clark looks very uncomfortable. She says Lex wanted to be like Clark, but knew in his heart he never could be. Clark squints. Too soon! "Did Lex talk to you about me?" Clark asks. She says he kept a journal. He did what, now? With an awkward smile, Clark tries to calmly ask, "What did it say?" Tess says she's sworn to secrecy. Even though Lex is dead and was her enemy before he died. Clark has a terrible dim-bulb idea all of a sudden. "Are you thirsty?" he asks. "Whu?" she asks, surprised. Clark is sure Oliver keeps some of the "good stuff" around. Clark has no idea what the name of an actual alcohol would be. He goes looking. They come in bottles, right? Tess smiles a little at Clark's amateur move.
Hospital. It's nighttime. Paramedics are bringing someone in on a stretcher as Jimmy, having escaped, walks past them. He snuck into someone's EMT gear. Bad Jimmy! He tries to walk stealthily to a nearby ambulance. He finds the one belonging to Davis and gets in. He sees the rosary hanging from the rear-view mirror. Just to make sure, he pulls down the visor and sees the ID belonging to Davis. He finds a flashlight on the passenger side floorboard. He goes to the back and looks around. Jimmy notices a bag sticking out from under a compartment. He pulls it up and looks inside the large, dark plastic bag. It's got a zipper. He unzips. OH MY GOD THERE'S A BODY! In a body bag! Can you believe it? It's the bearded guy Jimmy ran into in the hallway. Jimmy, scared, thrashes and knocks shit over. He cuts his hand. As he examines the wound, Davis walks into the ambulance rear. He finds Jimmy there and asks what he's doing there. He asks if Jimmy is looking for pain meds. Jimmy says he knows what Davis is doing; he's stashing the body until he can get rid of it later. "What body?" Davis asks. Jimmy glances over at the drunk driver. "Maybe that isn't such a bad thing," Davis whispers. Davis explains calmly that the man ran a red light and killed a young mother and her daughter on their way back from a ballet recital. Jimmy scoffs. "So you murdered him?" he asks. Davis says he didn't murder anyone. Today. Jimmy says the body is right there. Davis stands. He sighs and tells him he doesn't know what he's doing anymore. "It's those damn drugs," Davis says. Then he darts forward and stabs Jimmy in the neck with a needle. Jimmy struggles. But he fades quickly. He falls asleep. Always watch your neck. Especially these days, with all that Twilight bullshit.
We cut to Jimmy's chart. He's back in the hospital bed. The room is dark. He wakes and sits up, holding his head. He suddenly hears a crash and the sound of Chloe screaming. Jimmy stumbles to his feet and goes out to the hallway, which is again dark and abandoned. He yells for Chloe. He looks through windows and sees bodies lying in hospital beds. Chloe, still wearing the yellow coat, suddenly rounds the corner. "It's after me again!" she cries and rushes past Jimmy. Jimmy offers to save her. Chloe tells Jimmy to go back to his room or the thing will hurt him. Jimmy runs after her. Chloe runs into a hospital room. She locks the door. Jimmy, on the other side of the door, spots the creature approaching. It's behind Chloe, growling. She turns. It's all spiky and knobby, this Doomsday thing. It carries Chloe away as she screams. Jimmy bangs on the door and cries, "CHLOOEEEEE!" There's a sudden spray of blood on the door's window, to Jimmy. Jimmy's mouth hangs open. A hand touches his shoulder. It's Davis. Jimmy pushes it away and keeps banging on the door. They're suddenly surrounded by people and there's no blood on the window. Jimmy's still crying for Chloe. The room where Jimmy saw her is now just an empty hospital room. A nurse asks Jimmy what he took. Davis tries to grab him again, but Jimmy bats his hand away. Others try to restrain Jimmy and he fights back. They finally force him to the ground as he grunts and tries to elbow his way out of it. As Jimmy sweats and grunts, Davis takes out his pen light and flashes it in Jimmy's eyes. He asks for a shot of Haldol-Ativan. I'll have two! Jimmy says that the thing has Chloe and he has to save her. Chloe suddenly walks up, saying his name. Well, that would seem to put the monster theory to rest, then. Davis tells Chloe that they'll take care of him. Her hair is very not-flippy at the moment. She just looks sad and flat and worried. Drama at the hospital! Who could have foreseen that?
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Stakes are high on a plane. Clark opens up a bottle of champagne. He thinks it's Diet Slice. He pours as Tess, in the background, says she doesn't think Oliver would appreciate them busting into his private reserve of 1990 Cristal. Yeah, well, Oliver's not in this episode, is he? Clark says it's a long flight and Oliver wouldn't mind. "About Lex's journal," Clark segues, in a not-at-all-smooth way, "he's gone now, so you can tell me." Tess brushes that aside. She says she wants to talk about Clark. Wow, this is a long flight. Tess says they've downed two bottles and that Clark seems to have a superhuman ability to ward off drunkenness. "I have a strong metabolism," he says. "Me too," she says. She doesn't seem tipsy, even. She says she can hold her liquor like no other. No other what? She says it's the Mercer gene. Apparently "Daddy Dearest" could finish off a fifth before lunch at the mill. Clark wonders what she's measuring a fifth of. "That sounds tough," Clark says. He has no idea what he's talking about. Mill? Fifth? He must think they're talking about boxing or something. Tess says that it wasn't the Norman Rockwell childhood Clark had at the farm. Norman who? Clark is so lost and drunk and confused. He just wants to go home and hug a cow. Clark says nobody's childhood is perfect. Tess bitterly says that Clark was probably read fairy tales at bedtime (no, that was Lana). "Not like what my dad did," she says. Clark sits down. Tess apologizes for bringing this up and says Clark doesn't need to hear that. Clark says it's all right. Tess says she had blue sheets she'd put over her head to feel like she was under the ocean. She'd hide and pretend to be The Little Mermaid, waiting for a prince to rescue her. She says her dad would come in. She gets a faraway look. "The bastard shattered my eardrum," she finally says, "and he broke my arm. Three times." Clark frowns. Trying to lighten the mood (please! Do that!), she says Clark probably didn't expect the in-flight entertainment to be her True Hollywood Story. She looks vulnerable for just a moment. "I'm just glad it has a happy ending," Clark says, lame as always. Does the happy ending include that awful line? Because that would be a pretty crap ending. Clark says, "Look at you now." Tess thinks she's just good at covering her tracks. She asks about Clark. He asks why he'd need to cover his tracks. She fires back, asking why Lex would have an entire room devoted to Clark. Because he was hot for farmboy ass? Just maybe? Tess says she's seen the photographs, the crushed Porsche, the bullets. Clark says he can't explain Lex's delusions. Tess says Lex was a lot of things, but delusional wasn't one of them. "Clark... we all have our deepest, darkest secrets. I just told you mine. Now tell me yours." Clark almost falls for it, it seems. She watches him expectantly. Clark closes his mouth. "There's nothing to tell," he finally says, "what you see is what you get." Tess hardens. She is surprised and a little angry. She stands up, grabs her champagne glass and walks away. She asks the pilot through an intercom how the weather looks in L.A. He says the skies are all clear. She walks to the farthest seat she can find and puts down her drink. True confessions time is over. Asshole. Just when things couldn't get more awkward, there's a bump of turbulence. The lights blink. "What's happening?" Tess asks.
Oustide, we see the top of the plane is surrounded by black smoke and the nose is dipping. Tess is looking out the window. Inside the plane, the oxygen masks have dropped and a siren is going off. Clark goes past a red curtain and pulls a piece of the plane off to see what's going on in the cockpit. The pilot is gone and the cabin is exposed to the atmosphere. Tess pulls open a cabinet out of Clark's view and finds two clearly labeled parachutes. She closes the door. She and Clark meet back in the main area. Clark tells her the pilot is gone. Tess lies and says she looked everywhere and couldn't find the parachutes. Tess coughs and falls to the ground. Clark tells her she'll be all right. "Clark! Do something!" she says. Clark pulls down and oxygen mask and puts it on her. He tells her to breathe. She stares at him, seemingly in terror. Clark reaches up and crimps the oxygen tube. He tells her to keep breathing. She tries, but the oxygen flow cuts off and she falls unconscious. That seems pretty dangerous, Clark. [Yeah, isn't that how Michael Hutchence died? - Z] Clark punches open a cabin door and looks outside. He doesn't look thrilled about the situation. He pulls off Tess's oxygen mask and picks her up. He carries her to the open door as triumphant action music plays. He jumps out of the plane, holding Tess at his side, one arm out. The plane explodes behind them in ridiculous CGI. It's really not Clark flying. More like dramatic Method jumping.
A dark Metropolis alley. A man uses a crowbar to break into an office. Another man stands behind him, watching. It's Davis, and his hand is shaking. He's wearing a hoodie. Davis starts to walk over, but accidentally knocks a bottle aside, making noise. He stops, and something clobbers him from behind. It's Jimmy, with the lead pipe, in the alley. Davis falls, and Jimmy handcuffs Davis to a nearby fence. Jimmy says he wasn't hallucinating. He still has the cut on his hand from the ambulance. Jimmy says Davis killed that man. Davis, panicked, tells Jimmy to get away. Jimmy says Chloe's on her way. "You don't know what you're doing! You're not yourself," Davis insists. Jimmy thinks Davis is trying to set him up. He says he saw Davis holding Chloe outside his room. Jimmy thinks Davis is just trying to get him out of the way. Davis pulls on the handcuff and growls for Jimmy to get away for his own good. Davis is facing away from Jimmy and his face is starting to contort. His eyes are turning red. Jimmy wants Davis to confess. Davis pulls one handcuff off the fence. He screams. Jimmy picks up the metal pipe. He's about to swing as Davis screams, but Jimmy is electrocuted by something. He falls. Chloe is standing behind Jimmy holding a stun gun. Davis is still grunting. He tells Chloe to get out of there. Still facing away, Davis's face begins to darken and horns appear. Chloe tells him that Jimmy can't hurt him. She puts a hand on his shoulder. The one with the wedding ring. Davis goes back to normal, his face crap disappearing. He looks at his own hand. He turns, sweaty. "You saved me," he tells Chloe.
Hospital room. Jimmy is packing his stuff. A nurse hands Chloe some pills and tells her he's to take only three a day. They can be highly addictive. "Good luck," the nurse tells Chloe. Jimmy walks past Chloe. She reminds him he's not in this alone. He says he knows how much Chloe likes playing Florence Nightingale, but, "I can take care of myself." He looks mad. Jimmy walks out. Chloe, surprised, walks after him. She says she stopped Jimmy so he wouldn't do something he'd always regret. Jimmy says that Davis came after him and that Chloe would rather believe anyone else but him. Chloe looks around, embarrassed. Chloe says people are watching. She asks if they can talk about this at home. "Home? We have no home, Chloe," he says angrily. Chloe doesn't know what that means. She blames the drugs. Jimmy says he's never been clearer. He says he's put up with years of Chloe taking someone else's side. "First Clark, and then Davis?" he asks. Jimmy says he realizes she doesn't trust him. "You never have," he says. He starts to walk away. Chloe says that of course she trusts him, she's his wife. Jimmy bursts back at her saying that's what he doesn't understand. "Why the Hell did you even marry me?" he asks. Now Chloe's crying. A security guard tells him to settle down. "I'm fine!" Jimmy yells. Chloe says they were leaving. Jimmy says he's not going anywhere with her. Chloe asks him to work through this. Jimmy says, "I'm DONE trying to make this work." Chloe's eyes are full of tears. "Marrying you... was the biggest mistake of my life," he says. And there goes the hammer. Chloe watches him walk out of the hospital. She stands there, in tears. She's now wearing a red coat instead of yellow. And Jimmy's still a douche.
Daily Planet. Jimmy is storming into Tess Mercer's office as an assistant yells that he's calling security. "Don't bother, I quit," Jimmy says, throwing his press badge on the ground. Jimmy says that if they want to sell more paper, she'll put this on her to-do list. He bends over her desk and writes down something. It's a folder of photos including a mug shot on the front. "MEET DAVIS BLOOME," Jimmy wrote.
A song plays by the hilariously named Apocalyptica. That's almost as good as Crucifictorious. Rain over Metropolis. Inside the newspaper, Clark is looking at an electronic copy of a story in the paper. It features a photo of Tess and says, "CEO and reporter survive jet crash." Oliver's gonna be pissed. A Metropolis PD alert wakes Clark from his stupor. He gets up, zips to a phone booth and changes. We see flashes of red and blue inside. Clark emerges, dressed in the red jacket.
Music continues as we see Tess hand over an ID and a briefcase full of money to the pilot. She tells him to enjoy his new life.
A rainy street corner. Jimmy, in his car. Takes out four little yellow pills. He downs them. No, three! Three pills, not four, Jimmy! NOOOO! You'll die! Jimmy, looking like he's trying to be badass, runs a red light. THREE PILLS!
Chloe is crying. She's in her apartment as we watch through a window. She picks up her phone and dials.
Cut to boots on the pavement. Davis stands outside the apartment in the rain. The camera cranes toward his wet face as he looks blurry and conflicted. He stares up at us. DAAAAVIS! You are cute!
week: More drugs, more Doomsday. Sign me up.
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Omar G. is a journalist and writer living in New Braunfels, Texas. Check out the show he does with his brother, Pablo, "Trailers Without Pity." You can find him on Terribly Happy, Space Monkeys! and at Videogamey.com and hear him on NPR's "All Tech Considered," Mondays as part of All Things Considered.