Red-Blue Blah


Episode Report Card Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Red-Blue Blah

By Tippi Blevins | Season 8 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.12.2009

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It's raining outside the Daily Planet building when Lois shows up to berate Clark for not showing up at the airport in time to pick her up. She had to stand out there and get soaked for three hours because he's so undependable. Maybe they wouldn't let her wait inside because she insulted everyone within hearing range? I don't know. Anyway, he apologizes for getting caught up in work, which we all know really means he was out doing his secret hero thing as the city's "Red-blue Blur." Someone else knows it, too: The water-morphing Linda Lake, played by a slow-talking Tori Spelling, returns to town after a stint as a prisoner at Black Creek to threaten Clark. She knows all about his heroics and if he doesn't give her the inside scoop that will re-launch her writing career, she's going to tell the whole world he's a big, bad alien.

Clark decides to go public on his own terms. Chloe tries to talk him out of it because there's a lot to consider, like how very, very dumb he's being, although she's nicer about it than that. He goes to Lois with the story, telling her he's the RBB, and proving it to her by picking up a desk she's standing on. She goes all misty-eyed with awe and flattery, but he confesses she's not the first one he's told. When the story first comes out, the public reacts with joy and gratitude, even though they go a little nuts hounding Clark and his friends (and even an unseen Jimmy in his unseen return), but that quickly changes as people start getting bitter that Clark is choosing who lives and who dies. Linda also goes public with her side, telling everyone that Clark's the first wave of an alien invasion and he killed Lex.

This gets the government involved and they hunt down him, Lois and Chloe. His mom (unheard by us, but on the phone) is even in trouble. Chloe tells Clark that when Linda and she were both prisoners, electricity was used to keep Linda captive. Clark thinks he can use the time-travelling ring given to him by the Legion to go back in time and make things right. Somewhere in there he also tells Lois that after he goes back, he won't be telling her the secret again, because she's "special." Which... makes no sense, but whatever.

He travels back two days and tells Linda that he's got dirt on her past murders. If she stays quiet, so does he. This doesn't work as well as he'd hoped, so he electrocutes her rather creepily, saying, "No one can ever know my name."

When time resets, he picks up Lois at the airport. (Hope whoever he was busily rescuing in the first timeline didn't need him the second time.) She lets him know she'll be available for coffee later that night, although she tries to sound casual about it. He shows up, but just watches her from afar, messaging her that he can't make it. She messages him back, lying that she can't make it, either.

In the other story of the night, Davis Bloome -- a.k.a. Doomsday -- is back! He's been keeping "the beast" at bay with antipsychotic drugs, but he builds up an immunity to them. Chloe runs into Davis at the hospital, but she doesn't remember anything about him being Doomsday. She wants to be friends, despite the kiss they shared prior to her marrying Jimmy, but he says it would be "dangerous." In the first timeline, he ends up tracking her down at Isis and confessing he's a Kryptonian who's there to kill Clark, who he knows is also Kryptonian thanks to all the news. He tells her to warn Clark, but then morphs into Doomsday and possibly kills her in her car. In the do-over timeline, he doesn't find out the truth about Clark, but he does find out that killing people seems to soothe him, thanks to Linda taunting him at the hospital to set her free from her electrified bonds. He snuffs her with a pillow instead, and reveals to all of us that there's very little difference in Tori Spelling playing dead and Tori Spelling playing alive.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

While your regular recapper is off covering SXSW, I'm stepping in this week to write about what's going on with Clark and the gang. I asked Omar for any words of wisdom and his response was: "Bring booze." The economy being what it is, I'm going to try to be frugal and use up what I already have instead of buying more. Stocks consist of two bottles of Hornsby's Cider and a minibar-sized Kahlua. I hope it's enough.

Previously on Smallville: It's almost like Lana never existed. Jimmy took a picture of the "Red-blue Blur" saving Lois's life; gossip columnist Linda Lake got angry and also could turn herself into water; Chloe seemingly dispatched her during a well-coordinated fight; a Brainiac-possessed Chloe told Davis he was destined to "eradicate the other Kryptonian" and become Doomsday, which didn't go over so well with him; Lois and Clark almost kissed at Chloe's wedding before being interrupted (by Lana's return, but that part is cut out here); Lois cried on Oliver's shoulder about how she thought Clark needed her and Oliver assured her he knows that Clark does need her.

Now: It's rainy and gray as we peer down over the city of Metropolis, with the Luthorcorp building on the right and the Daily Planet building smack in the middle. Down on the streets, a soaked and panting Lois gets out of a yellow cab, struggling with a giant blue suitcase and a smaller carry-on. Symbolism for all her emotional baggage? Probably not. As the cab drives off, it splashes her with water and she shouts sarcastically, "Great! Thank you! Nice to be back!" Hope that did something for you, Lois, because no way that guy heard you. She then directs her ire at Clark, who's just showed up behind her with one of those superspeed whooshy sounds off-screen. She complains that he's just now showing up. "The one time I actually depend on you and you flake on picking me up from the airport," she says. He politely doesn't point out all the other times she's depended on him and instead apologizes as she complains about having to stand for three hours in a downpour, watching other people's curbside reunions. Why the hell didn't she wait inside? I know I usually feel kind of grungy after traveling, but taking a shower in the rain is just extreme. One of her bags pops open, spilling out some clothes, which she gathers up with exasperation from the rainy street. Clark tries to explain, but Lois goes on about how he emailed her the night before to say he'd be there, and how she needs to tie a string around his finger to remind him. Clark says he got held up at work (code for running around saving people), but Lois points out he's a reporter: "You're not saving the world." You know, I can see how Clark would seem dickish here to someone who doesn't know the whole story, but he is trying to explain. Plus, again, no one made you stand outside in the rain, Lois. He apologizes once more, but she cuts him off with a passive-aggressive zinger about how she doesn't expect to be the person at the top of his priority list. She goes inside. Sad orchestral music. Sad Clark face.

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