It's raining outside the Daily Planet building when Lois shows up to berate Clark for not showing up at the airport in time to pick her up. She had to stand out there and get soaked for three hours because he's so undependable. Maybe they wouldn't let her wait inside because she insulted everyone within hearing range? I don't know. Anyway, he apologizes for getting caught up in work, which we all know really means he was out doing his secret hero thing as the city's "Red-blue Blur." Someone else knows it, too: The water-morphing Linda Lake, played by a slow-talking Tori Spelling, returns to town after a stint as a prisoner at Black Creek to threaten Clark. She knows all about his heroics and if he doesn't give her the inside scoop that will re-launch her writing career, she's going to tell the whole world he's a big, bad alien.
Clark decides to go public on his own terms. Chloe tries to talk him out of it because there's a lot to consider, like how very, very dumb he's being, although she's nicer about it than that. He goes to Lois with the story, telling her he's the RBB, and proving it to her by picking up a desk she's standing on. She goes all misty-eyed with awe and flattery, but he confesses she's not the first one he's told. When the story first comes out, the public reacts with joy and gratitude, even though they go a little nuts hounding Clark and his friends (and even an unseen Jimmy in his unseen return), but that quickly changes as people start getting bitter that Clark is choosing who lives and who dies. Linda also goes public with her side, telling everyone that Clark's the first wave of an alien invasion and he killed Lex.
This gets the government involved and they hunt down him, Lois and Chloe. His mom (unheard by us, but on the phone) is even in trouble. Chloe tells Clark that when Linda and she were both prisoners, electricity was used to keep Linda captive. Clark thinks he can use the time-travelling ring given to him by the Legion to go back in time and make things right. Somewhere in there he also tells Lois that after he goes back, he won't be telling her the secret again, because she's "special." Which... makes no sense, but whatever.
He travels back two days and tells Linda that he's got dirt on her past murders. If she stays quiet, so does he. This doesn't work as well as he'd hoped, so he electrocutes her rather creepily, saying, "No one can ever know my name."
When time resets, he picks up Lois at the airport. (Hope whoever he was busily rescuing in the first timeline didn't need him the second time.) She lets him know she'll be available for coffee later that night, although she tries to sound casual about it. He shows up, but just watches her from afar, messaging her that he can't make it. She messages him back, lying that she can't make it, either.
In the other story of the night, Davis Bloome -- a.k.a. Doomsday -- is back! He's been keeping "the beast" at bay with antipsychotic drugs, but he builds up an immunity to them. Chloe runs into Davis at the hospital, but she doesn't remember anything about him being Doomsday. She wants to be friends, despite the kiss they shared prior to her marrying Jimmy, but he says it would be "dangerous." In the first timeline, he ends up tracking her down at Isis and confessing he's a Kryptonian who's there to kill Clark, who he knows is also Kryptonian thanks to all the news. He tells her to warn Clark, but then morphs into Doomsday and possibly kills her in her car. In the do-over timeline, he doesn't find out the truth about Clark, but he does find out that killing people seems to soothe him, thanks to Linda taunting him at the hospital to set her free from her electrified bonds. He snuffs her with a pillow instead, and reveals to all of us that there's very little difference in Tori Spelling playing dead and Tori Spelling playing alive.
While your regular recapper is off covering SXSW, I'm stepping in this week to write about what's going on with Clark and the gang. I asked Omar for any words of wisdom and his response was: "Bring booze." The economy being what it is, I'm going to try to be frugal and use up what I already have instead of buying more. Stocks consist of two bottles of Hornsby's Cider and a minibar-sized Kahlua. I hope it's enough.
Previously on Smallville: It's almost like Lana never existed. Jimmy took a picture of the "Red-blue Blur" saving Lois's life; gossip columnist Linda Lake got angry and also could turn herself into water; Chloe seemingly dispatched her during a well-coordinated fight; a Brainiac-possessed Chloe told Davis he was destined to "eradicate the other Kryptonian" and become Doomsday, which didn't go over so well with him; Lois and Clark almost kissed at Chloe's wedding before being interrupted (by Lana's return, but that part is cut out here); Lois cried on Oliver's shoulder about how she thought Clark needed her and Oliver assured her he knows that Clark does need her.
Now: It's rainy and gray as we peer down over the city of Metropolis, with the Luthorcorp building on the right and the Daily Planet building smack in the middle. Down on the streets, a soaked and panting Lois gets out of a yellow cab, struggling with a giant blue suitcase and a smaller carry-on. Symbolism for all her emotional baggage? Probably not. As the cab drives off, it splashes her with water and she shouts sarcastically, "Great! Thank you! Nice to be back!" Hope that did something for you, Lois, because no way that guy heard you. She then directs her ire at Clark, who's just showed up behind her with one of those superspeed whooshy sounds off-screen. She complains that he's just now showing up. "The one time I actually depend on you and you flake on picking me up from the airport," she says. He politely doesn't point out all the other times she's depended on him and instead apologizes as she complains about having to stand for three hours in a downpour, watching other people's curbside reunions. Why the hell didn't she wait inside? I know I usually feel kind of grungy after traveling, but taking a shower in the rain is just extreme. One of her bags pops open, spilling out some clothes, which she gathers up with exasperation from the rainy street. Clark tries to explain, but Lois goes on about how he emailed her the night before to say he'd be there, and how she needs to tie a string around his finger to remind him. Clark says he got held up at work (code for running around saving people), but Lois points out he's a reporter: "You're not saving the world." You know, I can see how Clark would seem dickish here to someone who doesn't know the whole story, but he is trying to explain. Plus, again, no one made you stand outside in the rain, Lois. He apologizes once more, but she cuts him off with a passive-aggressive zinger about how she doesn't expect to be the person at the top of his priority list. She goes inside. Sad orchestral music. Sad Clark face.
Just when Clark thinks things can't get worse, the water streaming out of a nearby downspout morphs into Linda Lake, as played by Tori Spelling. She says that Clark can save the city, "But when it comes to the ladies, the Red-blue Blur still drives with the brakes on." What do cars have to do with anything? All the rest of the terrible quips in the episode have to do with water. Maybe when she was plotting out this reunion, she imagined he would be in a car and she didn't feel like changing things. Also, she can apparently morph clothes out of water, too, because she's got a nice blue trench coat on. Clark points out she's a murderer and should be in prison, but she says she's been cleared of the charges. "Besides, there's no prison sentence worse than where I've been, circling the drain of obscurity." Ugh. She's nobody now: "Two years living underground dried up my prophetic pen, but I'm ready to make another splash." Again: Ugh. She wants to be the voice of the Red-blue Blur, and she says all of this so very slowly, like she's breaking in some new lips (possible) or speaking to a dimwit (also possible). She shows him the story she wrote that morning, titled "The Truth About Clark Kent." Sounds boring -- you might want to think about jazzing it up a little. She wants the scoop on all the saves Clark makes or she'll out him as "Little Orphan Alien." Clark momentarily panics because he thinks she means she'll expose his fetish for musicals featuring curly-haired orphans and older bald men, then he realizes what's actually going on. He threatens to stop her, and grabs at her, but she morphs back into water and flows down the gutter. He stares after her, worriedly. Somebody save him! I'm going for a cider.
Kent farm. It's nice and sunny. Chloe walks into the barn wearing a greenish peacoat and some jeans, calling out for Clark. She sees him standing at the top of the stairs and goes up to meet him. She asks if she can borrow some DVDs. Jimmy's being transferred to "MetGen" (after being mauled by Doomsday a few weeks ago) and Chloe doesn't think he's "into a chick flick." Show him horror movies about monsters! Clark doesn't reply, prompting Chloe to ask if he's OK. He tells her Linda Lake is back. Chloe is surprised enough to deliver her own terrible quip: "I thought that water snake slithered back into her swamp." Clark says if he doesn't give Linda the exclusive on his saves, she'll expose him: His name, his face, his... everything. Exposing his everything sounds hot; Linda should put something about that in her title. Chloe figures, "Well, the H2O has obviously gone to her head." They need to find a way to kill the story but Clark says Linda has a back-up plan. She does? I just recapped that whole scene and I don't remember any back-up plan. Nothing like, "If I disappear or get locked up again, an old friend will send a copy of this story to the news." Clark seems to think she has a plan, anyway. He says even if they stop her, she's going to release his identity. They're trying to make it sound like Clark is backed into a corner but I'm not feeling it. Who would believe anything Linda Lake said?
Clark tells Chloe his brilliant plan. "I'm going public. On my terms." Chloe says it's fine that Clark buried himself in patrol duty after Lana (who?) left. "But to come out waving the flag? I mean, that's huge." Clark says that Chloe convinced him that Jimmy's photo of the Red-blue Blur symbolizes hope. Chloe counters that he didn't have an "address or a family or a face" when he was just a blur. Is he ready for this? Clark says he doesn't have a choice, which, yes, he does. He says this way he can at least control the story and Chloe snarks that the paparazzi is great at respecting people's privacy. She again tries to say they can stop Linda, but he says it's different this time. "Even if I agree to be Linda Lake's puppet, eventually she will stab me in the back and expose me." Plus she'll make him sit on her lap and sing while she drinks a glass of water. Oh, wait--that's a dummy, not a puppet. My mistake. He says he needs to do this for everyone's sake. Chloe responds that people are slow to accept change. Clark is more optimistic: Because they accepted the Blur, he thinks they might be able to accept him, too. Chloe frowns. Clark thinks he might actually be able to be himself from now on. Chloe looks at him sadly, like she's thinking, "You poor, dumb, alien fool."
Metropolis General Hospital. A dark-haired woman in blue scrubs enters a code to get into the Dispensary. Hey, it's Janey from Watchmen. Inside, she runs into Davis Bloome, who's got his EMT gear on as he gets a packet of pills from the shelves. Janey asks him what he's doing there and he introduces himself and his very nice eyelashes. Janey's never seen him before and he explains he's been >away for a few weeks. She asks him to explain the pills. He holds up a blister pack: "I'm just restocking my rig." She reads the pack and helpfully tells all of us that they're antipsychotics, used to treat multiple personalities. I thought they were calling it DID now? Anyway, she buys the explanation and says she hopes they help whoever they're meant for. Davis does, too. After Janey leaves, Davis tears into the pills.
Daily Planet's somewhat bustling basement news room. Clark watches Lois at her desk for a moment before approaching her. I have to say, she has really excellent posture. He asks her if they can talk and she brats: "Wow, what is that noise? Is someone talking?" I meant to say she has excellent posture... for a six-year-old. Clark says she can't ignore him forever. She says at least he wasn't ignored in a three-hour downpour. Clark tells Lois he wants her to write his story. Lois mistakes the request as Clark trying to pawn off his work load and says, "I've long since graduated from the 'lonely seeking lonelier' classifieds." Do they hire actual reporters to write those? I don't think so. Clark says it's a pretty interesting story. Lois busies herself looking for paper and says he may have forgotten about her, but the news world didn't. God, shut up about that! Maybe she had to wait outside because airport security kicked her out for annoying everyone inside. Clark tells her if she writes the story, the news world will never forget her. Mostly because she'd keep reminding everyone over and over about it. Clark says he didn't forget to pick her up -- he wasn't there because he was busy protecting people. She sighs, but lets him continue. "I'm the Red-blue Blur," he says with a hopeful smile. She looks him up and down before laughing and walking away. Clark looks like she just pointed and laughed at his wiener.
He follows her into an unoccupied office and shuts the door behind them instead of questioning why he chose Lois to write his story. He mentions other times of heretofore unexplained weirdness he was responsible for, like when she was saved from the speeding car, or the time the barn door flew through the air. She's incredulous: "Yeah, right, what'd you do? Sneeze?" Well, yeah. She gets a chair and uses it to step up onto a desk in front of some supply shelves. She tells him, "The time you have a liquid lunch, take the rest of the day off." She reaches up for some paper that's way out of reach. Clark whooshes over to help her by lifting up the desk. She looks stunned. Personally, I would probably yelp embarrasingly, but she turns and looks down at him, giving a strangled, "Whoa!" He drops the desk (breaking one of the casters on it) and whooshes over to catch Lois as she falls. She looks up at him and says, "Guess I should stop calling you 'Smallville,'" which makes it sound like she's figured out he's not really from there, but as we'll see in a minute this is not the case.
Some time after being put back on her own feet, she locks the office door and turns to look at Clark, arms crossed over her chest. Clark: "You're speechless. That's never a good thing." At least she's not bitching at you, Clark. Isn't that a good thing? Eh, maybe he's a masochist and likes it. She studies him and runs through a checklist. "All the disappearing acts, the half-baked excuses, all this time I just coughed it up (WTF?) to a classic case of Peter Pan Syndrome, but you're the opposite." She supposes he's a hero. He knows it's a lot to take, and approaches her almost apologetically, but she backs away from him. He says he wanted her to hear it from him first. She seems flattered and asks why she's the first one to be told. "Actually, Lois, you're not." Lana and Chloe already know. Lois thinks Clark has had a busy morning telling them, but he clarifies that they've known for a long time. As has Pete, although he's not mentioned. Lois asks, "What guns you got in your arsenal?" Clark confesses with a little pride: "I can blast fire out of my eyes." I wish he'd called eyejaculation. He says he can hear dogs barking miles away, see through solid objects, and run faster than the speed of sound. She tells him to rewind and explain about seeing through things. Here she covers her breasts with her hands. Please, sister. If he can see through solid objects, he can see through your hands. Plus, there have been times you showed those things off so much a blind man could have seen them. He says he has to focus to do it. She wonders how she hadn't put the pieces together before. "I lived with you. Now we practically work on top of each other. Have I been high this entire time?" He kindly doesn't answer in the affirmative, and says the important thing is she knows now and that she's the best reporter for the job. Will she write his story? "Consider it done," she says. "Tomorrow's front page will tell the tale of the red-and-blue meteor-infected hero." Now, didn't it seem like she realized she wasn't from around here before? But she's acting like she still thinks he's from Smallville. As she turns to go, Supermannish music plays and he stops her. He says seriously, "We should talk about where I'm from."
The day, the newspaper tells the story: "Clark Kent Alien From Krypton!" The picture of Clark underneath the headline has him in his typical red jacket and blue shirt combo, posing like it's his high school yearbook picture. Clark stands besides the newspaper display outside a newsstand, admiring his and Lois's handiwork instead of wondering if he should worry about being vivisected. People start noticing him. Which is normal, because 1. anyone who looks like Tom Welling is going to get noticed, and 2. he's wearing the exact same outfit now as he is in the paper. An older gentleman from the newsstand hands him a free copy. He says, "For fifty years I've watched this city get eaten alive by crime. But you picked us up, Kent." A little boy comes up to him wearing blue and red and asks for his autograph. Clark happily obliges. A group of teen girls goes by, taking pictures with their camera phones. People start coming out of nearby shops, smiling and applauding him. Clark smiles back. A guy drives by in an SUV, looking out the window and waving and honking so much I thought for sure he was going to have a wreck and require some rescuing. Instead, the person who needs help is a teen girl who flings herself off a second storey fire escape, shouting "Catch!" Clark superzips over and catches her neatly. She kisses him on the cheek, saying, "I'll fall for you any day, Clark." Bystanders rush to take their pictures and Clark starts to look a little unsure about things. Just then, a watery rushing sound announces Linda's arrival. She's suddenly standing behind Clark, looking like her makeup gun got set to "whore" and then some. She's pissed: "You may have scooped me, but I will have the last word." She morphs away, in plain view of all the cameras, but no one seems to notice besides Clark. He stands in the middle of the crowd, alternately smiling and looking around helplessly.
Metropolis General. Inside there's crowd, too, taking pictures of Chloe as she walks down the hall towards Janey. Orderlies usher the photogs out as Chloe tries to find out why Jimmy suddenly isn't being allowed to stay there. He's being transferred there now and she confirmed yesterday that there was room for him. Janey says, "Yesterday the parking lots weren't full of paparazzis [sic] and our hallways weren't full of rubbernecking fans!" She says they can't run a hospital when everyone's trying to get pictures. Chloe doesn't get why they'd want pictures of a guy in a neck brace. Janey clarifies: "A guy in a neck brace married to the alien's best friend." That... seems like at least one degree of separation too many. Wouldn't they be interested in Jimmy because he works with Clark? Or are they just trying to remind us Jimmy is married to Chloe because it's been so long since they've been onscreen together? Anyway, Chloe sees Davis walking through the hospital hallway ahead of her and she rushes to catch up to him. As she does, he's digging through his duffle bag for his antipsychotic pills and pops one. She greets him, not seeing the pills, and wants to know when he got back. He says it was just a few days ago. She looks at him seriously and says, "I think we should talk about what happened." He looks worried and asks if she remembers. She says it's hard to forget: "You kissed me." Oh, that. I thought you meant the whole abducting you from the wedding thing! But no, she assumes that the messages Davis left her were about the kissing, so she deleted them without listening to them. He lies that she didn't miss much, because it was just him awkwardly apologizing. Chloe insists she hasn't been blowing him off, but so much as been going on with Jimmy's recovery and the memory loss. Davis cuts her off and says he went out of town to give her space. Chloe says it wasn't necessary and wants to forget what happened. Davis can't. "You have been nothing but a good friend to me," he says earnestly. "I just don't think that will ever be enough." Chloe is confused about why they can't even have a friendship. Davis says, "A friendship like ours... it can be dangerous." And sexy. She accepts this as goodbye, though, and even though Davis wants the same thing, he still looks a stricken when she turns and leaves. Just then, a nurse comes up to Davis, today's newspaper in hand, and she gushes that he knows the famous Chloe Sullivan. Davis doesn't see the big deal, but then she shows him the paper and he puts together the whole "Clark = Kryptonian = the one he's supposed to destroy" thing. Ominous music.
Daily Planet. A youngish guy with dark, curly hair is leaving the City Editor's office. Linda Lake is waiting in the hall for him with her article in hand and asks, "Ready to earn your stripes as city editor?" Except she says it so fast it sounded kind of like "Ratty onion strikes Hasidic editor" the first two times I listened. Maybe she was speaking slowly for Clark's benefit. Editor guy makes a snarky comment about Linda coming back to get her stiletto out of her assistant's back. Linda says the Daily Planet is "a poor man's wallpaper." Hey, some people just recycle more intensively than others. She wants to make the paper readable again. She holds up the article: "Clear your page one, run this." He declines to print her gossip. She reminds him that she was printing real news while he was still a cub reporter. "My blog had more hits than the Chicago mob." Editor guy turns away and tells her to get a new career, but then she mentions the article is about "the alien." This gets him to stop. Because he won't print regular old gossip, but he'll print alien gossip. It's good to have standards, I guess. I'm gonna have that second cider now.
Outside the farm house, things are crazy. News crews and fans mill around. Some people have signs that say "Clark save us!" and some have Obama-style "Hope" posters, except with Clark's portrait and the word "Believe" on them. Chloe arrives and tries to make her way through the crowd, but she's stopped by a flippy-haired woman with a camera crew and microphone. Flippy asks her what it's like to have an alien for a best friend. Chloe says she's just trying to get inside. Inside Clark? Oh, she means the house. That's where Clark is pacing, with the TV on the background, the room nearly entirely dark. He's on the phone with his mom: "What do you mean 'forced leave'? Can they even do that to a senator?" Apparently, yes. He thinks it'll all blow over after people adjust. They hang up. Chloe knocks on the door and he lets her in while keeping the crowd out. They each ask how the other is doing. Chloe announces that Lois was just given an editor's promotion: "Congratulations! You now have a penthouse office right to Tess Mercer." So I guess Clark got a promotion, too? Or is he just going to be put there for decoration? Their attention turns to the TV, where a weeping woman is talking about how her husband was killed last week when a crane collapsed at his work site. "Where was Clark Kent then?" she asks. "Who says he gets to choose who lives and who dies?" I hope the little girl she's holding through all of this is old enough to know this is just acting. Clark is focused on the TV but Chloe reminds him they need to find Linda Lake. She's found out that Linda shared a cell block with her at Black Creek, and that's why she was "MIA." Clark wonders why she didn't just turn herself into water and escape. Chloe explains some gobbledygook about special electrical restraints keeping Linda in solid form. Now they just need to find her. And there she is on TV giving a press conference! She's back to slow-talking. She explains in sing-songy words like some kind of blond Bobby Jindal about how Clark's not a hero, or savior, or friend. "He is the first wave of an all-out alien invasion." She blames him for the meteor showers, power outages, and human carnage. She says the real hero was Lex Luthor for trying to stop him: "And Clark Kent killed him." Technically, that was Oliver, but I guess the public thinks Lex died months earlier. Sirens wail outside the farm house. The feeling from the crowd changes noticeably outside. Should have read your Julius Caesar, Clark. Chloe advises Clark to leave, but he wants to stay and talk to the authorities himself. He leads Chloe out the back way and promises to catch up with her later. He opens the door to face the glare of the cameras, alone.
After the break, we're back inside the house with some Department of Domestic Security guys and Clark. "Linda Lake is lying through her teeth," Clark insists, but the lead DDS guy says her points line up. What, like a bulleted list? They think Clark is working with someone, but Clark explains he was sent to Earth alone by his father to protect mankind with his abilities. DDS guy asks if Clark's friends will attest to that, then accuses Lois of aiding and abetting in exchange for the front page story. Then he brings up how long Chloe's been keeping his secret and wonders what else she's hiding. Clark insists he's been open about everything. The DDS guy: "Then I'm sure you won't have any problem with us running some tests." Clark draws the line. An armed and armored unit busts into the house, guns trained on Clark. One guy marches up to Clark and Clark promptly throws him across the room, because what better way to prove to people you're harmless? He could have just held him back. The order to fire is given. Clark just stands there, taking every shot, which results in the bullets riccocheting off his body and destroying half the kitchen. That'll be a great thing for his now-unemployed mother to come home to. He couldn't have caught the bullets in superspeed? Clark superzips out of there.
A little yellow car pulls up somewhere in a misty, foresty area. It's Chloe and she's meeting Clark. He tells her she has to leave because the Feds are after her. The car radio announces that authorities are after Clark, too, and advises people to stay inside. Chloe gets out of the car, asking if they know about the "meteor rocks." They do now, thanks. Clark says they have to leave town, separately. Chloe is worried: "Am I losing you, Clark?" He promises to find her when things calm down. Chloe asks if they can't just ask Jor-El to undo everything, but Clark says Jor-El has been gone since the Fortress went dark. Chloe says, "Unless you're hiding some latent power to turn back time, then I'm out of ideas." A little light bulb goes on over Clark's head, and he explains in detail exactly where he's hidden the Legion's time-travel ring in the barn, just in case any nearby villains need to overhear him. Chloe reminds him that there's always a consequence for turning back time, like a substitute recapper might run out of booze. Clark says he doesn't have a choice, because as long as people fear him, he can't help them. Clark and Chloe exchange long, sad looks. Linda, hiding in the bushes and having overheard the whole damn conversation, smiles.
Daily Planet. Lois is trying to reach Clark by cell phone, promising to "fire back" against whatever trash people are spreading about him. The City Editor drops the latest paper on her desk and says, "You sit across from the guy, Lane. How slow are you?" She looks at the headline: "Clark Kent: Murderer". The legal budget must be huge if they're not worried about libel suits at all. Hilariously, to the pictures of Clark and Lex, there's an article about how the bus system won't be expanded this year. Lois charges off, pissed about either Clark being accused of murder or the prospect of not being able to find a good seat on the bus. She runs into the elevator and sees Linda there, on her phone. Lois accuses Linda of not printing the facts and promises that Tess will run a rebuttal. Linda makes a big show of having to call "Katie" back because her connection just took on a "terrible, whining sound." "Katie Couric," Linda name-drops for Lois' benefit. Lois says to her, "You see a parade and you just have to rain on it, don't you?" Oh, no. Don't get started on the rain again. She also says that Clark could have been the hero people needed. Linda: "Funny thing about people -- the only thing they love more than building up heroes is tearing them down." Lois goes storming into Tess Mercer's office, but she's greeted by the DDS guys. They want to speak with her, but Lois refuses without her lawyer. They level taser guns at her and she turns on her heel. Clark whooshes in to snatch her away and superzip her back to the farm.
Lois says he shouldn't be there with everyone looking for him, but he says in a few moments everything will be over. He explains: "I have a ring that allows me to go to any moment in time." She accepts this wordlessly. Clark plans to go back to before Linda wrote the article because the world isn't ready to accept him. Lois wants him to stay and fight back, give people a chance to see the real him. She tells him some people spend their lives trying to stand out, to be called special. She says, "When you first told me who you were, my thought was, 'Anyone but Clark.'" He tells her she doesn't have to explain, that he gets it, but she goes on: "How can someone with X-ray vision be so blind?" Normally, I think Erica Durance's acting is fairly wooden, but she's doing a decent job here with what she's been given. Lois says this was different from her other experiences with heroes. How? Why? Because the script says so. Clark promises, "This time, it will be different." No one's going to remember who he is. Lois realizes he's not going to tell her his secret the time around. Sad string music plays. He apologizes for about the hundredth time this episode. She replies, with what seems like some badly timed passive-aggressiveness, "It's OK. Why should I think I'm special?" But he says it's because she's special that he won't tell her. At first this didn't make sense to me, but I've thought this over and I've had my Kahlua now and this is the conclusion I've come to: She's "special" because she's never been suspicious or curious about him. Lana pressed him for years to tell her his secret. Lex knew instinctively he was unusual. Chloe did, too. Even random one-shot characters are curious about him. Why? Because they all have more than two brain cells to rub together, whereas this "slow", seemingly "high" Lois is completely clueless. She can remember weirdness after the fact, as she did in the office reveal scene, but it doesn't register as weird as it's happening. It would almost be endearing if she weren't so annoying. After this bad experience of outing himself as an alien, Clark can seem human to this one person. In a way, he really does suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome, because he still wants to hang on to the same false idea of normalcy that he's had since childhood. Lois unwittingly helps him with that and it helps the show keep him in development limbo. Or else "you're special" is just a quick way for Clark to get through the scene. Either way. Back to the action: Clark goes to get the Legion ring from the toolbox, but finds a big hunk of Kryptonite instead. He falls and the glowing rock comes down with him. Lois rushes over to him, but Linda is there to whack her with a plank of wood. How the hell did she get there so fast? Is water that fast? Linda lords the ring over a sweaty and helpless Clark: "Looking for this?" Well, duh. Commercials.
Back from the break at the Isis Foundation: Chloe is deleting a bunch of files off the computer and shredding info about Clark when Davis comes stumbling through the door. Oh, my God, I just noticed the file cabinets are hideously pink. Chloe sees Davis and realizes something's wrong. She rushes to help him to a chair and he immediately starts apologizing. "It's all a lie. I thought I could stop it." She offers to get him some help, but he growls, "No!" He says nothing helps. He fumbles for a pack of his antipsychotic pills, but says he's built up a tolerance. "I can't control it anymore." When she asks what it is, he whispers: "The beast." Chloe looks at him with confusion, so he takes her arm in his hands and starts explaining about everything that happened when he and Chloe were in the Arctic. She told him it was his destiny to kill the other Kryptonian, but this just makes her more confused because the only Kryptonian there is Clark. Davis haltingly says he's Kryptonian, too. Chloe realizes he's Doomsday. "I was sent to this planet to kill Clark," he says, and Sam Witwer is really selling the pain here. Chloe warns him to stay away and Davis agrees: "You have to warn him." He thought it was Chloe drawing him back here, but it was Clark. He looks down, and when he looks up again his eyes are red. Bony spikes start pushing out of his skin. With his increasingly monstrous voice, he tells her to get out of there. Chloe runs, leaving a voicemail for Lois about Davis as she does so. She makes it to her car, but so does Doomsday. The whole thing shakes violently and then he rips the door off its hinges. Chloe stares up at a fully beasted-out Doomsday, and she looks both afraid and resigned. The show leaves it up to the imagination as to what happens .
Back at the barn, Lois's phone lies on the ground beside her. Linda is admiring the Legion ring and going off on how she thought rings would bring her happiness, but there's no such thing as true happiness. Clark, still suffering from Kryptonite exposure, says, "Not when you only see the bad in people." Linda crouches down beside him and muses on how quickly people turn on you. But she doesn't care, because she has the ring, which is better than the Blur. Clark warns her it's dangerous. She has a different opinion: "This ring is every journalist's dream. I'll know stories before break. The entire world will know me." At hearing the last, Lois gathers herself up off the floor and charges her, knocking her over a work table piled high with odds and ends. Linda fights back with a huge wrench, but Lois ducks and kicks her in the gut. She punches until Linda falls back onto the stairs, eyes closed. That really is a lot of eyeshadow. Lois rushes over to help Clark, who tells her to get rid of the rock. She tosses it across the barn, and Clark gets up. Finally, Lois is able to hear Chloe's voicemail. She goes to tell Clark: "You're not going to believe this, but Davis--" But by this point, Clark has found the ring and puts it on, so he doesn't hear the rest as he disappears in a flash of bright pink light.
Clark rematerializes in the barn two days earlier. I wish at this point he had gone to find himself and tell himself what a dolt he is. Instead, he superzips over to wherever it is that Linda's writing her "Truth About Clark Kent" article. It looks like some kind of low-rent office, with some electrical wire things and a fuse box in plain sight. "I know what you're planning," he announces. She turns, not seeming surprised to see him. He says she's not going to run his story. He shows her his own article (when did he write that?) about all the murders she's committed. She takes it and looks it over. I thought upon first viewing that he was working out a deal with her where they each kept quiet about the other. How sad is it that I didn't even pause to think maybe the future Superman wouldn't make such a deal with a murderer? He says her word will mean nothing and everyone will know who she really is. "You're going to jail," he says. She doesn't think so. But then he pulls out the electrical wires in a hail of sparks and jabs her in the belly with them. He pushes her against a window and she erupts into water, but as he continues to shock her, she resolidifies. She stays in her human form, damp but whole, and he pulls the wires away. Her eyes close and she collapses to the floor as frantic music plays. Clark says, rather eerily, "No one can ever know my name."
Thanks to the reset, we're back at the rainy opening scene. This time, though, Clark has picked up Lois in his red truck. She gets out, saying, "Some things never change. I've been gone a month and you still drive in the granny lane." So she's only been gone a month? Does that mean Lana's only been gone a week or less? Lois notes he didn't say much on the drive home and only left her three voicemails while she was gone. They walk into the Daily Planet basement. Clark says things got a little crazy after the wedding. Lois laughs: "Things got a little crazy before all hell broke loose, let's face it." Then she realizes that she's brought up the almost-kiss, and offers not to face it and just forget it. Clark agrees: "I think it's a pretty complicated conversation, Lois." She mentions she's going to be at the café later that night. She says, "If you want to come by for coffee, cool, if not then let's say I get it." He looks either confused or worried; I can't tell which. But he says, "OK," which makes her happy, or not, or whatever. She goes to work.
Outside. Chloe and Clark buy coffee from the same guy who gave Clark the free newspaper in the other timeline. It's... not the most hygienic coffee station I've ever seen. Chloe, beaming, says she would have loved to see Clark as a celebrity. Clark says it wasn't a pretty sight. Chloe thinks she must have had some perks as a part of his entourage. She's obviously never seen this show. Clark mentions the invasion of privacy Chloe had to suffer. "Though there was this one moment right after I told Lois the truth about me, I thought everything would be OK." He thought he could have it all, but he can't. Wait - -how is Clark remembering any of this? For him, none of that will have happened because the other him stopped Linda early, thus wiping out the reality where he told Lois. Right? Aw, screw it; the episode's almost over and I'm out of booze. Chloe looks thoughtful, then basically suggests the whole dual identity thing to him, not for the first time. Clark is dubious, but Chloe thinks it's a way for him to be able to tell Lois the truth and still know how she'd react. Clark says, "All of this made one thing very clear, Chloe. Lois can never know who I really am." Chloe wonders if it's a way of protecting himself from getting hurt. Clark changes the subject: "I destroyed the Legion ring." Even the normally quick-thinking Chloe seems a little thrown by the abrupt shift. Clark explains it's too dangerous, the whole controlling time thing. "It always comes at a price." Chloe wonders what might have changed this time around. Clark looks worried.
Well, I'll tell you what changed: Janey walks into the dispensary and sees Davis getting the pills like before. But this time when she learns his name, she says there's a patient looking for him. This time, he goes down the hall and uses his key card to let himself into the Criminal Containment Ward, where who else but Linda Lake is waiting for him. She's strapped to a gurney with some glowing restraints around her wrists and ankles. Davis thinks there must be some mistake; he doesn't know her. She says she's been "puddling around Metropolis" (I hope she had the Detrol discussion with her doctor) and stumbled upon his dirty secret. She mentions his "unsightly bone protrusions" like she's explaining something delightful to an infomercial audience. At this point, he closes and locks the door behind him. His hand shakes. "You don't know what you're talking about." "Right," she says, "you just have a terrible skin condition." See? Infomercial. He aks what she wants from him. "I want you to release the beast and break me out of these restraints." He resists because that's not how it works, and starts grappling with a pack of pills. She threatens to tell Chloe about him because she doesn't want to spend another second in a cell. He looks like he's been hit hard and drops to the floor. His eyes go red. Linda taunts him. He begs her to stop. "Let it go," she coos. He shouts at her to shut up and she shouts back to set her free. He bolts up from the floor, grabs the pillow underneath her head and shoves it so hard against her face that the folding top of the gurney slams flat. She struggles as he suffocates her, but he grows calmer and calmer. As her movements still, he pulls the pillow away and his eyes go from beast red to human brown. He seems horrified when he realizes what he's done, or maybe amazed, or maybe both. He rather gently lifts up her head and slides the pillow back under it. He quickly leaves, pausing for a moment to look at his normal, totally Davis face in the reflective surface of the door. He throws a handful of pill packets into the trash and leaves.
Café. It's night, and Lois is sitting outside, in the cold, waiting for Clark. "Dreamer" by Uh Huh Her plays, and it's a very "Clark and Lana in the early days" kind of song which doesn't bode well for the future if you were already tired of that. Clark watches from behind, unseen, as Lois sips her coffee and scans the distance for him. He messages her: Sorry swamped with work, can't make it. She messages back with a lie: Chasing a lead, couldn't make it anyway. They both look sad and lonely and I'm not really feeling at all sad for them because it's just this made-up angst for the sake of angst. As much as the show is trying to make it seem like the two of them are ships passing in the night, it's just coming across more like a couple of dinghies tied up at the docks.
week: There's some kind of trouble with a plane. If Lois spends the whole episode complaining about it, I'll feel sorry for Omar.
Tippi Blevins usually writes for the Moviefile here at TWoP, but she's also written and published many stories and a comic book miniseries. She can be contacted at b_tippi@yahoo.com.
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