Clark and Chloe are all dressed up for a big charity event hosted by Oliver. They talk about how much time Clark is spending with Chloe, but it doesn't last long because Oliver shows up in a bad state. Everyone thinks he's drunk as he loses focus and stumbles around, but Oliver tells Clark, as he falls into his strong arms that it's actually poison and he has 12 hours to live. Clark and Chloe rush him to Isis, where Davis shows up to help keep Ollie alive. Meanwhile, Tess and Lois face off on whether she's qualified to cover this sudden Metropolis nightlife scandal. Tess knows all about Lois and Oliver's history, but astoundingly still assigns Lois to report on the story just because they broke up a long time ago. Yep. You can't trust The Daily Planet.
While he's unconscious, Oliver has flashbacks to a shipwreck when he was stuck on an island for two years. It was a magical island in that he didn't grow a single whisker of facial hair the whole time. Tom Hanks is jealous. While on the island, Oliver learns to use a bow and arrow and resists eating centipedes. He's also poisoned by an exotic pink flower. He wakes up, nursed by none other than Tess Mercer, known back in the day as "Mercy." Tess was a marine biologist who got kidnapped by pirates with her best friend. Oliver, nursed back to health by Tess and some leeches, helps Tess escape, but unfortunately Tess's best friend gets killed by the pirates, who were planning on holding rich-boy Oliver hostage.
In the present day, Oliver's date from the party, who was also poisoned, dies in the hospital. We learn that the poison is misdiagnosed by modern medicine. Chloe finds a cure herself with her giant new brain. Clark discovers Chloe's intelligence secret and we discover that it happened because of Chloe getting attacked by Brainiac. Chloe defends her new powers while Clark whines. Davis also discovers along the way that Chloe's super-smart, and is wondering why Jimmy isn't in the loop about it. They find that an antidote to the poison is held by LuthorCorp. Clark goes to Tess and asks for her help, but she says the antidote is too far away to help Oliver. Lucky for Oliver, his own labs have an antidote nearby. Oliver is saved.
Tess is attacked by the surviving pirate, who was also the person who poisoned Oliver and his date. She manages to hold her own for a bit, but Clark steps in to stop the guy from killing her. Tess doesn't see Clark's rescue, but does find it very strange that she was saved.
Lois confronts her feelings about her breakup with Oliver while Oliver confronts the way he and Tess broke up after their island love. He meets with her at LuthorCorp and we find out that after their breakup, Tess joined LuthorCorp and rose in the ranks. Oliver thinks that's what motivates her. Tess proves to be much the hardass these days. But she cares enough about Oliver to give him a document that seems to provide proof that Papa Luthor killed his parents. Oliver drowns his sorrows while Tess posts bail for the pirate and then poisons him with the toxic flower. She drives away in a car with the license plate, "NOMERCY."
Metropolis at night! Awwwww yeah! I'm gonna get my urban blight on! We hover over the city for a bit and then cut to something called the "Rainforest Preservation Foundation." We just had a major hurricane, the economy is in the men's urinal and nobody can afford gas. Let's save the rainforest! It's a gala party with a jungle theme. Some people are dressed in loincloths and flowers. Guess who's crashing the party? Chloe, wearing a nice strapless dress, and Clark, wearing a surprisingly sharp suit, are at the bar. Clark is wearing his press pass on his breast pocket. Yet, he's drinking a martini on the job. No, Clark! Bad journalist! Chloe jokes that global warming is just an excuse for taking your clothes off. You don't need an excuse, Chloe. Clark wisely hands the martini to Chloe instead of drinking it himself. He says that Oliver has raised a lot of money for this event. It's $500 a plate. $1,000 if you want food on it. Chloe says she's happy to hang with Clark, but surprised that Lois disengaged Clark from her hip. Clark says they're not always together. Chloe says that Clark sees Lois more than she sees Jimmy. Maybe it's because Jimmy has been missing for two episodes. Clark asks what Chloe is trying to say. Chloe gives a wistful, "Never mind." She says she always thought she'd be the one circling Clark's typos. Oh, I'm sure there are plenty to go around. And also: shut up, Chloe. You're the one who gave up journalism for counseling. Clark says that Lois doesn't circle typos, she underlines them two or three times. Oh, my AP Stylebook hurts. Clark says that Lois couldn't leave early because she already pissed off the boss, Tess. Chloe calls her a "Luthor wannabe." Clark says that Tess may be a Lex supporter, but that she's been civil with him so far. Chloe thinks Clark's opinion has something to do with Tess being a total hottie. Clark says that Lex knows his secret and that if Tess is following Lex's footsteps, she may find it, too. Chloe adds that if Lex chose Tess to carry on in his name, she must be dealt with carefully. Chloe notices that Oliver is walking in with a very attractive, very tiny model who is wearing a stunning blood red dress. Photographers, who are somehow inside the party instead of on the red carpet outside, snap tons of photos. Oliver raises a glass as his model friend walks away. Oliver takes a sip as the photos continue. He tries to put his drink on a tray, but stumbles and almost falls. Nice one, Chevy Chase. Chloe jokes that Oliver's party must have started in the limo. Clark doesn't think Oliver would show up drunk to his own party. Oliver doesn't look so great. From his point-of-view, we see the flashing cameras dance around in a drunken haze. Oliver touches his tie, then stumbles again, landing on a nearby gentleman. He hits the ground. Clark helps Oliver up as Chloe tells the paparazzi to back off. Clark says he knows Oliver's not drunk. Clark wants to get Oliver to a hospital. Oliver, sweaty, says, "No! No hospital!" Clark asks what's wrong. Too... many... hospital scenes... on this show! Please! I'm begging you! Take him somewhere else! "Poison," Oliver says. Dramatic music plays. Oliver says he has 12 hours to live. That's half a season! Oh, wait. He probably means in episode-time.
Opening credits. Commercials. Nick and Norah's Infinite Blah Blah I Don't Care. I'm too old for this shit.
Isis Foundation. Chloe, Clark and Oliver have arrived. Clark, carrying Oliver in by the arm, says he's getting worse and that they need to get him to a hospital. Oliver's shirt is untucked and his tie is undone. He looks like he could be rolling with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Oliver makes it over to a psychiatry patient chair and lies down. Chloe says Davis is on the way. Sammy Davis, Jr.? Clark insists that they need a doctor. Chloe pulls him aside to say that if Oliver wanted no doctors, he must have had a good reason. "I'm not gonna stand here and watch my friend die!" Clark bellows, for no good reason. Right, but you think Chloe will let him die? Chloe, heavy with the eyeliner, says that she's worked side-by-side with Oliver and that when he says to do something, it's for a good reason. Clark tries to argue again, but Chloe shuts him down by saying she'd do whatever Clark asked, down to the letter, if he was in the same position. "Now, trust him!" she says. Clark offers to check Oliver's phone to find his date's number. A bit early to start moving in on the girlfriend-widow, isn't it, Clark? Davis arrives, wearing his paramedic gear. "Thank God," Chloe says, rushing to him. Davis gets to work. He says Oliver looks a lot worse than he was expecting. Thanks? Davis says Oliver's pulse is racing and he has a fever. Davis offers to set up a heart monitor, but will only wait an hour before he'll take Oliver to the hospital. That was about a five-second examination. Chloe thanks Davis and says that he can trust her. Davis sighs heavily. He goes to get the monitor and asks that they call him if anything should change. Clark uses Oliver's phone to figure out that his date was named Adriana. He tried to call her, but she won't pick up and hasn't tried calling since Oliver left the party. Clark says that he's going to the bar to look for her. Chloe is left alone with Oliver. She's stressed.
Daily Planet, same night. Lois walks into Tess Mercer's office, hollering, "Latest dish with a side order of spellcheck!" Oh, Lord. It's like an SNL sketch about Mel's Diner. Lois says there were some grisly murders down on Hampton. Tess, who is looking at some papers with an assistant, looks supremely annoyed to be bothered by this harpy. Lois just smiles. Tess wins my heart by saying, "Lois Lane. I haven't fired you yet?" Do it! DO IT! Lois says that Tess must be too busy printing her stories. Tess takes the paper that Lois is holding and puts it on her desk without looking at it. Lois notices a contact sheet of photos from Oliver's party on Tess's desk. She asks what's up with the collage. Tess acts like Lois should have already heard about what happened. She says that for a renowned party boy, that guy sure doesn't know how to hold his liquor. Lois can't believe that Tess is more concerned with "Smearing a humanitarian" than investigating the city's own version of Jack the Ripper. She asks if Tess even knows Oliver Queen. Tess flinches the tiniest bit and says quietly, "Not like you do." Tess asks if Lois doesn't take a little twinge of pleasure seeing her ex take a public nosedive. All of this will make sense later. Sort of. Lois says that Oliver is a good person who stands up against corruption. Tess says she was going to offer Lois the story, but after that testimonial, Lois isn't objective enough. So it would have been all right if she harbored deep, unfair resentment instead? Forget what I said about Tess. She's as shitty an editor/publisher as Lois is a shitty reporter. Lois says it's not news that someone gets drunk at a club. Tess thinks something awesome must have happened after the club exit. She says she needs someone to get to the bottom of this without suffering an emotional meltdown. Lois says she and Oliver were through a long time ago. She wants the story. Noooo! You do not cover your ex boyfriend as a news story for the world's greatest newspaper. GAAAHHH! Lois walks out, having decided what she's doing. Tess gives her a weak, "OK."
Clark at the club. The party is still going. Oliver who? Clark dials Oliver's phone, then uses his superhearing to hear where the other end of the line is ringing. Everything goes neon and fuzzy. Clark hears that the ringing phone is going off outside. The phone is on top of a purse, which is on top of a woman, who is on top of a stretcher being led out to an ambulance. Clark rushes outside and asks a police officer what happened. Without even glancing at Clark's press badge, the officer says the woman was found in the bathroom and she'd OD'd on something. He says she'll be lucky to make it to the hospital alive. Thank you for your discretion and for your positivity, officer. You are truly one of Metropolis's finest.
Isis. Oliver is now hooked up to a heart monitor. It goes, "Ping!" Chloe tries to encourage Oliver to fight whatever's ailing him. We zoom in on Oliver's damp face. His eyes are moving rapidly under the lids. It's flashback time!
Quick cuts of an island and a guy, presumably FutureOliver, shooting an arrow. Then we see Oliver washed up on a beach. He's wearing a white see-through dress shirt. The camera pulls back. Angels sing. He rolls over. Crawls up on the rocks and sand. He is evolving. Soon, he won't need fins or gills at all. He sees broken pieces of wood and a nearby jungle. The sun is setting. Oliver stands up. He yells, "Hello! Can anyone hear me?" No, dude. I think you need more bars in more places from Sprint. The camera pulls back, way back, until we see an island and some clouds. I think he's alone now.
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Oliver at Isis. He lolls his head around. We don't linger long. Soon, we flash right back to the island where we left off. Oliver, looking more grizzled (but with no facial hair) is crawling through a very fake-looking jungle. Once you've watched Lost for a few seasons, it's very hard to look at other so-called jungles on TV. Oliver has caught a giant caterpillar. He starts talking to it, explaining that he normally wouldn't eat something with more than 99 legs. But, he says, he hasn't eaten for days. Oh, just eat it. Stop playing with your food. Oliver decides it's a bummer and he'd rather let the thing go than allow himself to survive. Dumbass. "You win," he says and puts the creature down. He notices something else, though, as silly jungle drums play. A boar is nearby. Oliver tries to chase it clumsily. It gets away, of course. No bacon for you, slowpoke!
I think we need a ... MONTAGE! Oliver is on the beach, sharpening some bits of metal. Then he's whittling some wood and refining the ends of some arrows. Then he has somehow crafted himself a hood to wear on the steaming hot beach. More whittling. With the help of a rock, Oliver puts together a bow by stretching a long stick and tying some string on it. Triumphant music plays as if this is the pinnacle of human achievement. Is he going to build a spacecraft ? We skip ahead to Oliver carving a circular target on a tree. Oliver starts shooting arrows. He misses several times. He gets a little better until he finally starts landing some arrows in the middle. Months pass. By this point, Oliver should be dead from starvation and the boar would have died of old age. Oliver fires one more arrow. In slow-motion, it hits dead center. He fires another. This one seems to have some real mojo behind it because it splits the earlier arrow. I guess he got good. We see Oliver wearing his ridiculous hood, but with no shirt. He takes off a blindfold, meant to impress his imaginary friends. Oh, I get it. He did it blindfolded. Well done. Now what's for dinner? Oliver hears some movement nearby. He runs toward it. It sounds like people talking. Oliver pushes a branch aside and his hand touches a pretty pink flower. Oliver sees some people camped out nearby, but almost immediately, the flower has begun to affect him. He blinks and looks at his hand. It's all black and pink from the plant. Oliver falls over. We see him lying on the ground. You'll never get to eat fresh, delicious pork at this rate.
That brings us back to Oliver lying down at Isis. Chloe is still by his side. A knock. Chloe answers the door. Lois is there, asking if she's seen Ollie. Lois notices Oliver lying down with his shirt open. She asks if he's been partying with Mötley Crüe. Lois is 43 years old. No joke. Chloe says it's not what she thinks. Sorry, Chloe, but I'm not convinced that Lois thinks. Lois ignores her and tells Chloe to go to the store and get a sports drink, as much Vitamin B as she can find and a dill pickle. I don't even want to ask what the pickle is for, but it sure sounds funny. "Let's go, tick-tock!" Lois says. Chloe assures her that Oliver isn't hung over. Lois finally notices the heart monitor. She asks what's up. Monitoring. Of the heart. No mention of you in there. Sorry. Chloe tells her that he's been poisoned. Lois goes to Oliver's side to tell him that she's here. His head moves, but he doesn't wake up. Chloe has to have the same argument about not taking Oliver to the hospital that she had with Clark. Lois agrees that Oliver must know what he's talking about when he requested no doctors. She says she knows him better than anyone, which I think is just Lois talking bullshit. Lois goes to him. He whispers in his sleep, "Mercy." He repeats the word. As in, "Please show me mercy and get Lois the fuck out of here so I can die in peace." The camera gets shaky as we look at Lois from Oliver's point-of-view. We go to another flashback.
Oliver wakes up in another memory. He's on the island, being tended to by a very pretty redhead. It takes a moment for us to realize it's Tess Mercer. We have reason to be distracted: There are leeches crawling all over Oliver's bare chest. Tess, who has some hair down on her face, all nice and tousled, tells Oliver he can't take the leeches off yet. Oliver hates leeches! He's no leech-lover. He would like to be leechless. Oliver is inside a giant tent, one large enough to play a regulation football game inside of. There's a woman lying nearby and a man just outside the tent holding a shotgun. Oliver asks what's going on. Tess, who is wearing some very flattering white island wear, says she promised "Them" that she could save Oliver. She says the leeches produce a curing enzyme. It's leechy-keen. Tess says that Oliver was affected by a very toxic plant. Oliver is skeptical, but Tess assures him that she's a marine biologist. She says they study this stuff. Also: frogs. She says that he would be dead in 12 hours and that a hospital would misdiagnose the problem, shoot him full of adrenaline and kill him. There's a hospital nearby? "I guess you're lucky," she says. Oliver asks if he should feel lucky about the guard at the door. Tess, in a breathy, halting voice, says she and her friend have been kidnapped. Close-up on Oliver.
Metropolis General Hospital. Different city. Same hospital bullshit. Davis is at the supply shelf taking containers of adrenaline. Clark, still wearing his blue shirt and striped tie, walks into the room and calls for Davis. He tells the paramedic he's looking for Oliver's date. Davis says he has to bring Oliver in. So what are you doing here? Do you just like driving back and forth from Isis to the hospital over and over again? Davis thinks Oliver and his ladyfriend were poisoned by something they drank in the limo on the way to the party. Clark asks if she was a victim as well. "Was a victim," Davis says. She's in a hospital bed, drinking some water, looking healthy. Davis says they gave her adrenaline and she evened out. Davis thinks the girl is proof that Oliver doesn't know what he's talking about. That thought doesn't last long because just as Clark and Davis are walking away, the girl crashes. "Code blue!" Davis yells. He runs into the room and takes charge instead of letting a doctor handle this. He does tell someone to get a doctor, but they must all be on break because no one ever shows up. Davis checks the girl's eyes. She's shaking, going into shock. Davis tries to take her neck pulse, but she goes under. Davis doesn't try to revive her after she flatlines. Davis and Clark just stare at each other instead of trying to do something. "Oh shit, oh shit!" "Do you know how to revive a dead person?" "No, I just have super strength and heat and stuff!" "Oh shit, oh shit!" "Lets' get out of here!" Go team Davis!
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Oliver's memories. We flash from Oliver at Isis to the increasingly steamy island. Oliver is leaning up, still shirtless, as Tess is tending to his leech wounds. He jokes that this isn't quite the scenario he pictured if he ever ran into a woman on this island. Oh, isn't it? I think you're making out pretty well here. The only way things could be any better was if you met a giant woman who was very buoyant and shaped like a boat. Tess doesn't crack a smile. She tells him to be glad that the treatment worked. Oliver, who has grown a bit of stubble, asks what they did to Tess. She says they were in Fiji doing some marine research (and tequila shots) when a speedboat came out of nowhere and attacked them. She says her guide and three classmates were killed. Oliver asks how many bad guys they're up against. She says there's the guy with the shotgun and another guy named Marcos. Two? That's it? They were on their way to Thailand, but stopped on the island to make a repair on their boat. And then set up this massive tent and medical center. They're not very efficient travelers. Oliver asks about Tess's friend. The friend is lying on her side, eyes open, her hands bound with rope. Don't worry, she has no lines. Tess says they'll all be all right if they can just get out of here. Marcos, who comes in looking pretty pissed off, asks how their golden goose is doing. Dude, I've only seen boar on this island and centipedes and... oh. You mean me. The guy knows who Oliver is. Oliver pretends that he's not Oliver Queen, which seems a bit silly at this point. Marcos recounts the famous story that Oliver took off with some friends on his yacht and got shipwrecked. Oliver survived while the others were shark-bait. Oliver, mad, gets up. But his hands are tied and Marcos has a big knife. You lose. Marcos holds the knife to Oliver's neck and grabs the back of his hair. Oliver asks Marcos to let the girls go. Marcos has a better idea. He throws Oliver down, pulls out a gun and shoots Tess's friend. Tess runs to her, crying. Marcos is about to shoot Tess as well, but Oliver gets in front of her. Marcos plans to ransom Oliver for millions, so he's not keen on killing the pretty boy. Oliver complains that he's been on this "Godforsaken island" for two years and that if he's going to die, it's going to be for a good cause. Could you kill him and send his gold fillings to the March of Dimes? Marcos does not shoot. Instead, he says that the boat is almost done so they'll soon be out of there. Oliver sweats and breathes heavily.
Nurse Lois is tending to present-day Oliver. She's put a washcloth to his forehead. "Look at us, the noble couple," she says. She tells Oliver that she let him go so he could go save the world. She doesn't think this is saving the world. She thinks he backed out of their deal. Oliver can't hear her. Lois wonders if they didn't have it wrong and that neither of them is a hero. Lois, about to cry, says she wonders if she should have let Oliver go. Clark shows up. He asks how Oliver's doing. Lois just shakes her head without turning around. Clark puts a hand on her shoulder. Chloe shows up behind Clark. This is the scene where everybody sneaks up on everybody else. Chloe asks if she can talk to Clark. She shows Clark a bunch of papers and files lying on a table. They start talking about finding an antidote. Clark asks how they can find an antidote to a poison that's not in any public database. Chloe says they'll have to name it themselves. You can call it, "Lameacillin." Chloe rattles off stuff about cyanobacterias, chloroplasts and robodimensional paradoxes (sorry, my mind wandered) and presents Clark with a solution: she's found a flower that matches. This is when Chloe goes into hyperverbal mode, going through papers on the table and completely confusing Clark. Does she not know that you can completely stymie Clark's brain for days just by asking, "Penny for your thoughts?" Chloe takes a quick breath and stops. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Because you're scary? Clark says he feels like he's at a Met U. lecture. Oh, like you've ever been to a lecture at Metropolis University. Clark already thought she was the smartest person he knew, but he wonders how Chloe was able to trace a few chemicals to an obscure flower. It's Season Eight: Season of the Lightswitch. Chloe insists it's no big deal; she's just expanding her knowledge base. "You're getting smarter!" Clark says, like it's an accusation. What is she, running for president? Being too smart is a bad thing all of a sudden? Chloe says she doesn't have time to talk about this right now. At least not with someone as dumb as Clark. She walks into Lana's command center. Images are flashing on each of the many monitors in the room. Clark asks, "What is all this?" Data, Clark. Breathe it in. Thanks to Lex's obsession with toxins, LuthorCorp has the most comprehensive collection of organic material, Chloe says. Oh, just like Vivid Video has one of the world's most expansive collections of orgasmic material. The images on the screens start to speed up as Chloe absorbs them. Check out the big brain on Chloe! Clark is pretty scared. Clark circles around until he's standing in front of Chloe. Hey, dumbass! You make a lousy superwindow. Down in front! "You're reading all this, aren't you?" Clark asks. Again, he's incredibly suspicious of Chloe's intellectual pursuits. You should take advantage, dude. It's time for a Vegas road trip. Chloe pushes the space bar on her keyboard and stops on a picture of the pink flower. I'm just glad she didn't hit any Whammies. Chloe says that LuthorCorp has the flower, so they must have the antidote. Clark is still upset. He says that this must all be due to Braniac. Chloe admits that after Braniac attacked her, her hacking skills went from analog to digital. She admits she can now process data at lightning speed. She asks Clark not to feel like he somehow has to take the blame for this. Clark says they don't know what can happen since Braniac was behind this. Chloe counters that they don't know, so they shouldn't worry about it right now. She's grateful that something good came out of something horrible. She's looking at it as a gift that can save Oliver's life. She asks for Clark's trust. Chloe hands Clark a printout of the LuthorCorp data sheet. She thinks Clark should call in that favor with his new boss. Clark reluctantly nods.
Daily Planet. Tess is working very late. Clark walks into her office. "It does bring out your eyes," she says. Long pause. "That tie." Oh, mercy. I mean, Mercy! She wants you, Clark. I'd say this is quite a bit of an upgrade from Lana, like going from a Hyundai to a Mercedes. Clark takes a moment with that, then moves on to tell Tess that his friend was poisoned and that he thinks LuthorCorp has manufactured an antidote. Tess says she's sorry, but she doesn't have some secret stash of toxins and antidotes. At least not without calling a guy she knows downtown named Dimebag Willie. Clark says Lex never abandons a project. Pointedly, Tess says, "He doesn't, does he?" Tess says flatly that she's still catching up on the projects named after constellations, but she's not aware of a lab. Clark tells Tess that he knows her job requires secrecy, but that the antidote to this plant could save someone's life. He presents the LuthorCorp printout that Chloe gave him. Tess has a gut reaction to seeing the photo of the flower. "Who exactly is your friend?" she asks. Clark says it's Oliver Queen and that he's going to die soon. Tess takes a few steps away. She says she's not going to lie to Clark. Unless you mean lies of omission. She says the lab was relocated to Brazil. She doesn't think they could get the antidote in time even if she made a call. Clark just stares at her. Hmm, Brazil. Yes, getting something shipped from Southwest Asia would certainly take a while.
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Oliver's hairless chest. He's still lying in Isis. Is that like lying in stasis? Lois is putting big plastic bags of ice across his stomach and chest. She holds his hand tightly. Davis comes in. "You must be Lois," he says. She responds, "You must be the one who's actually qualified to do this." Clunk! Oh, the dialogue. "He's dying," Davis says. Lois really didn't want to hear that. She gets mad. She grabs Davis by the arm, pulls him away from Oliver and demands that "Dimples" pull out some miracle from his tackle box. "Oliver Queen does not die today!" she says fiercely. Davis shakes his head. He thinks all he can do is keep Oliver alive a few minutes longer. Lois tells him to do it. Davis checks the eyes of Oliver, his go-to paramedic move. The bright light makes Oliver go into another flashback. Luckily, we get to go with him.
Oliver is still being held captive. He finds something hanging from a net. Whatever it is, it's sharp. He goes to Tess, who is kneeling over her dead friend. Tess says she gave her friend Megan a bracelet for her birthday. It's a very pretty diamond bracelet. "She was my best friend," Tess whispers, sniffling. She breaks down when she remembers Megan promised to wear the bracelet 'til the day she died. Tess tries to take off the bracelet, but she's shaking. Oliver helps her. Tess breaks down. Oliver hugs her tightly. He says he's sorry. As he hugs her, Oliver pulls off the band that's holding her hair up in a ponytail. Just like her, I thought Oliver was getting frisky. "What are you doing?" she asks. "They'll kill us," he says. He holds up the rubber band in plain view while he explains that he swore to change if he ever got off this island. He doesn't want to waste his life. He gives Tess a very serious look. "That starts now," he says. Great! But my dead friend... bracelet. Did I mention I'm a marine biologist? We could maybe train some turtles to attack those guys... It should only take a year or two. The thug with the shotgun says the boat is ready. They're about to go. Tess and Oliver go outside. Oliver plays with his rubber band and the sharp object he acquired. As they walk by some shrubbery, Marcos warns them to be careful because the flowers are poisonous. Yeah, I think they know about that. Oliver springs into action. He elbows Shotgun Dude, then punches him out. Marcos tries to get his own gun ready, but Oliver is quicker. He puts a protective arm over Tess, bends down and lets loose a little dart. We watch it fly in CGI-motion, then hit Marcos. He falls over, subdued. Oliver apparently put some poison flower on the tip of his long dart. Oliver and Tess rush over. Oliver takes the gun away. "You're not gonna leave me here to die," Marcos says weakly, poisoned. Oliver tells him to crawl down to the leech pond if he wants to live. "Make some new friends," he says. Tess grabs the keys. "You ready to go home?" Oliver asks her. She nods. Triumphant!
Back at Isis, Lois notices Oliver's temperature reaches 106. "He's on fire!" she announces. He is pretty hot, isn't he? Davis says it's just like Adriana. How so? She lingered for hours and had a fever? I thought she seemed fine then went into sudden cardiac arrest. This isn't similar at all, you dolt. Davis says they need more ice and towels. Are they delivering an ice baby? Lois keeps patting Oliver's head with a face towel. Oliver starts to convulse. The heart monitor reports a flatline. "Out of the way!" Davis says. But he needs Lois to breathe for him as he does chest compressions on Oliver. Clark walks in. They stop what they're doing to tell Clark that he's dying. Clark holds out a giant syringe. "Use it," he says. It's pure liquid Deus Ex Machina! Davis takes the syringe and plunges it into Oliver's tit. It looks like lemon-lime Gatorade. After a few seconds, Oliver wakes up. Everyone sighs in relief. Davis says he doesn't get it. He says this antidote doesn't exist. Clark lies, saying that Queen Industries has a lab nearby. One that Oliver wouldn't have known about? "Mercy," Oliver says, as he starts to wake up, "you have to go find Mercy!" He says that Tess Mercer is in danger. Whoever did this, he says, is going to go after her . "You know Tess," Clark deduces. Oliver yells that there's no time. Clark wastes more time by saying she's working late at The Daily Planet. Oliver falls back, completely annoyed with Clark's dilly-dallying. Hey, I may not be dying from poison anymore, but life's still too fucking short for us mortals, Clark.
Metropolis buildings, nighttime. Tess is walking out to her car, alone. She can't get someone from security to come with her? Or one of her many minions? Tess bends down as she says, "Dammit." Someone has stuck a dagger in the driver's side front wheel of her car. She takes way too long just staring at it instead of rushing right back inside the building. Foreboding music plays. Tess looks to her right. She looks back to her left, Marcos is right there behind her, grabbing her neck. "Miss me?" he says in a heavy accent. His cheek is rubbing against hers. He throws her against a wall. "You left me on that island to die," he says. To be fair, you were being a real dick. He moves his knife to her neck. He says she's not that easy to track down. She's in charge of the world's most popular newspaper and head of LuthorCorp and he couldn't find her? How is she hard to find? He taunts her, saying she's still that scared little girl. He leers at her and leans close. "You haven't changed a bit," he says. "You'd be surprised," she tells him. Tess head-butts Marcos, then kicks him in the gut. He staggers back. She says she was going to send him a thank-you postcard. She punches him across the face. She credits him for being one of the men in her life who taught her to fight back. She tries to throw another punch, but Marcos counters, hitting her in the side. He smacks her across the face, sending her onto the pavement. He picks up the knife again. We see a blue streak sail toward the scene on a nearby street. Clark is there. He sees Marcos walking with the knife toward Tess. Instead of just zipping over, grabbing the knife and knocking Marcos aside, Clark decides to do some urban damage. He sees a power line grid above. Clark eyejaculates at it, knocking the array down and sending it sailing toward Marcos. The steel hits him and sends him sailing. It really looks incredibly goofy. And now 50,000 people have no power. Marcos lies unconscious. Clark zips away as Tess starts to get up. She stares long and hard at Marcos, trying to figure out what went down. It's not worth thinking about, I promise.
Commercials. If firefighters were really in charge of everything, I would hope I'd have enough clout to get them to hose down people who piss me off.
Stately Non-Luthor Manor. Tess is sitting at Lex's old desk, staring at a laptop screen. She's wearing the diamond bracelet on her left hand. Someone puts a newspaper on her desk, surprising her. How is she surprised to have someone just show up? Is her security as bad as Lex's was? Oliver is standing in front of her, half-smiling. The headline on the newspaper says, "Billionaire bender." A photo shows Oliver stumbling. "Really?" is all he says. Ha. Tess asks what happened to the party boy who hung up his beer bong so he could do good in the world. Oliver says he's not the guy in that article anymore. Tess is skeptical. "You're Oliver Queen. World-famous Samaritan," she says sarcastically. "And I was his first save," she adds. As she comes around the desk, Oliver takes her left hand and looks at the bracelet. Tess is taken aback. Oliver says she was much more than that. Tess says she's glad Oliver is all right. She changes the vibe to say that she needs the head of Queen Industries alive if LuthorCorp is going to keep its competitive edge. She goes to the cart to get herself a drink. Oliver, frustrated, throws up his hands a little. "Happy to help," he says. He looks around the office, remarking that it's a few pay grades up from her days studying jellyfish and protesting whaling ships. Oliver says that Tess plays to win and that he discovered how ruthless she is a long time ago. Tess ain't having that. She says that after what Oliver did to her, she wasn't going to just sit around and eat ice cream. Oliver accuses her of working for his worst enemy and then twisting the knife further by taking the entire company over. Oh, just merge! Tess, angry, says that Oliver's got some balls thinking all she's doing is dedicating her life to his downfall. She says she did it all for herself. Oliver starts to leave, saying their business is done here. Tess says it was done when Oliver said goodbye. "Oh wait," she says, "you never actually did, did you?" Oliver comes back at her, saying that the word is on the tip of his tongue. Tess says she didn't call him here for that. She wanted to give him something. She hands over a red folder. She says that Papa Luthor may be dead and buried (harrumph.), but that maybe this will help Oliver sleep at night. Oliver takes a look. He can't believe it, whatever it is.
Daily Planet. Clark walks in to the basement wearing a full suit and carrying a coffee cup. He sets it down as he sits to Lois at her desk. She takes the coffee from him and tells him he's getting the hang of things. The way they're handling the cup, it's obvious there's no real hot coffee inside. Clark starts to protest that Lois took his drink, but gives up. Clark says Chloe told him Lois never came home the night before. Lois says it's not what he's thinking. She played nurse, but not doctor. She says she's been working all night. Clark picks up a piece of paper from her desk. "Pet adoption fair? This Sunday?" Lois gives Clark a dirty look. Clark asks if she gave up her Oliver article for this. Lois doesn't answer. Maybe she finally got some sense knocked into that empty head of hers. Clark says it doesn't sound like her. Thank God. He thinks she might be a little shaken up from the night before. Lois acknowledges she's pretty messed up about it. Clark doesn't think she should have to bury herself in her work. I think that would be bad for all of us. Lois defends her pet adoption story, before dropping the façade and saying she's realizing her relationship with Oliver is over. Clark says the feelings don't go away. He admits to watching the goodbye video from Lana more than once. Ugh. Lois says what we're thinking: she doesn't want to be part of the Clark/Lana rollercoaster. Preach it, sister. Lois says she has a delicate ego and isn't cut out to date a guy with a hero complex. What if it's a hero simple? Lois tries to be self-deprecating. She says Oliver is an icon, a "Man of Tomorrow" and she's just someone who writes about it. Clark says there's nothing wrong with that. Lois offers some wisdom about knowing that you broke up for a reason. Clark agrees without really knowing what she's talking about. Lois says that advice is free, but she pawns (or paws?) off her pets story to Clark. She says she's allergic to cats. "Get to work. Chop-chop," she says. No court would convict Clark if he threw her to Canada right now. Lois drinks Clark's coffee just to be a little more annoying.
Isis. Chloe walks in, checking mail. She notices that the door to the command center is open. She walks over to find Davis standing there. Davis was checking in on Oliver. He says the guy has a great crew of friends. Chloe tries to pick up the papers on the table as Davis stares at them. He knew she did well on her SATs, but thought she only studied journalism. Davis asks if she's some kind of genius, then realizes she's embarrassed. Davis says there's nothing wrong with being smart. Thank you! Jeez. Chloe says that it's a problem when your wedding seating chart looks more to you like a Euclidean algorithm, it kind of is. Chloe dumps papers into a filing cabinet. Davis asks what Chloe's fiancé thinks. Chloe says it just happened. She asks Davis to keep it a secret. Davis says we all have a secret part of ourselves below the surface. He says he does too. Chloe smiles, but warning music plays.
Ace of Clubs. Oliver is at the bar, downing shots. Clark, still in his suit, finds him there. Oliver thanks Clark for helping Tess the night before. Her attacker is in jail, he says. Clark asks why Oliver never mentioned he knew Tess Mercer. He says it was in the past and he wasn't proud of how things turned out. Clark asks if it's a good idea to drink when he's just had poison in his body. Oliver tells Clark to stick to his milkshakes. He passes over the red file to Clark. Clark reads it. "Lionel Luthor killed my parents," Oliver says. Clark asks if he figured that out just based on flight records. Oliver says there were LuthorCorp employees on the maintenance logs. Clark asks if he thinks Papa Luthor paid to have the plane sabotaged. Oliver asks if Clark knew about this. Clark looks away. Oliver is upset. He knows Papa Luthor knew everything about Clark and thinks Clark must have known some of the old man's dirty secrets. Oliver can't believe Clark kept that from him. Clark says he was afraid Oliver would do something he'd regret. Raising his voice, Oliver asks if Clark thought he would kill the guy. "I wouldn't have killed him!" he says. Not very convincingly. He says he survived two years on an island by himself. He says when it wasn't pouring rain it was blistering sun. It looked pretty comfortable based on the bits we saw. "There were mosquitoes that ate me alive!" Oliver hollers. Oh, God, the mosquitoes! They were six feet tall and carried spears! They would pick you up and drop you in a volcano and steal your girlfriend! They would take the cooked boar right out of your hands and laugh at you! These were MOSQUITOES FROM HELL! Clark tries not to laugh. Oliver says it made him strong. Especially the mosquito bites. Stronger! Oliver thinks Clark is invincible, but not fearless. Yeah, that's Batman, dude. Oliver says Clark is afraid to trust his friends and afraid to accept his destiny. "You're afraid of everything," Oliver says. Pretty much. Oliver thinks Clark hasn't really been put to the test. Maybe, he says, Clark's island is still out there. With big motherfucking mosquitoes! They will EAT YOU ALIVE! You might even enjoy it.
Taxi. Nighttime. A city street in Metropolis. Marcos, freed from jail, is asking the cabbie to take him to the airport. As Marcos's hand sits on the car door's window frame, someone wearing gloves rubs a flower across his hand. "What the Hell...?" Marcos says. Tess leans in. "You," Marcos says. No, "Tess." She says, "Who do you think paid your bail? Jail's too good for you." His vision starts to go blurry. He sputters and falls on his side in the car seat. Tess tells the cabbie to take the guy to the hospital since he's having a heart attack. "What am I, an ambulance?" he asks. Tess says they'll know what to do with him. The cab drives off. Tess stands up, defiant. A movie marquee is behind her, glowing. Tess drops the flower in slow motion from her gloved hands. She walks away. A car drives over the tropical flower. We see that it's Tess's vehicle, a Porsche. She drives off and we see her license plate: "NOMERCY."
week: Clark gets some action! Maybe.
-- Omar G. is a journalist and comic living in New Braunfels, Texas. You can find him on Terribly Happy, Space Monkeys! and at Videogamey.com.
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