They sit in the grass, among the butterflies, and with butterflies in the stomach, she VOs. They make harmless chit-chat -- he's had a house in the Hamptons for three years; last year his ex planted a garden, but instead of "fresh salads" the garden is a reminder of "fresh pain." She can relate, 'cause when she and Aidan broke up she couldn't walk within a six-block radius of his furniture store. She goes on and on about break-ups and the pain and how difficult it is, and how does one go on after this because, since she isn't a youngster anymore, she doesn't "date people that are wildly inappropriate anymore" so it isn't a "whew!" relief when the relationship ends, et cetera. Berger's face makes the range of expression from mild interest to extreme fear. He announces he has to go, and grabs his jacket out from under Carrie's bum. She sort of falls off, and watches him speed away (after a few false starts) on his motorcycle. Yup, you screwed that one up, Bradshaw. Maybe you should have shut up? Just my suggestion. Every week.
Sam marches into Richard's kitchen, pleased with the progression of the party. She becomes less pleased when she sees the boobie crew poking around, asking for Tab and rice krispie treats. Sam says she bought the food and the drinks, and the only things the girls paid for at the party are their breasts. The one with the biggest boobies sticks them out and asks salaciously, "Jealous?" Sam grabs two nearby cantaloupes, positions them at chest-level, and says, "Oh yeah, I want to look like this!" The other girl says that maybe if Sam did, Richard would be here with Sam now. They giggle meanly and high-five each other, one yelling, "Snap!" ["Shout-out?" -- Sars] Sam becomes enraged and hurls a melon at the two hoochies. They duck, and the melon shatters the sliding glass door right behind them. They skitter out, scared of the jealous wrath Sam's exhibiting. Everyone out at the party stares at Sam, who tries to laugh it off all ha ha, I just threw fruit at two hoochies, ha! Nothing to see here!
Mir and Carrie enjoy brunch at Stanford and Marcus's place. Carrie bemoans her stupidity with Berger. I bemoan the high duh levels this scenario produces. Carrie says her problem was that she "revealed too much too soon. [She] was emotionally slutty." Yeah. Plus, you bitched about break-ups, when you're supposedly trying to get your mack on with this new guy, who just came off a break-up himself. She says maybe Bitsy has the right idea, since she's "stopped looking for a great relationship and [has] settled for a fine one." Mir says she'd marry Steve in a second if he were gay. Okay, it's official: I don't get anyone on this show. Stanford walks up, takes the compliment that his coffee is good, and listens as Carrie gushes that he's got it all -- the house, the good man, the life everyone else is chasing. Stanford says he and Marcus haven't had sex since they bought the Cynthia Rowley china. Carrie collapses and says she is "so relieved." Carrie? Shut up.
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