The show starts off with Samantha talking to a young girl who is dressed up like she thinks she is thirty. The girl tells Samantha, "I want it all, I want it now, and I want you to get it for me." Carrie tells us that the girl is Jenny Brier, the daughter of a wealthy NY restaurateur, and that after firing two other firms, she wants Samantha to do the PR for her Bat Mitzvah party. Jenny tells her she wants Vanity Fair, Carson Daly, People, Teen People, and *NSync at her party. Samantha tells Jenny that she doesn't do kids' parties, and Jenny tells her that her father has invited "over three hundred of his most powerful friends" and that they would be spending at least a million dollars on the party. Samantha's eyes flash dollar signs, and she smiles and tells Jenny that they won't be able to get *NSync.
The girls meet for lunch at what Carrie tells us is "haute cafeteria cuisine," and as they sit down with their trays of food, Miranda stands around and looks at someone at another table. She tells the girls that she thought a cute guy was looking at her. Because they all have the maturity of middle-school girls, they all turn around and look at the guy and make "ooohhh!" noises at Miranda. Apparently, Helen Keller now designs for Chanel, because Carrie is sporting a blouse that only a blind person who can't hear people yell "What in the hell are you doing with those hideous colors patched together!" would design. With the appropriately mismatched do-rag on her head and the big "Carrie" hoop earrings, she sort of looks like Rae Dawn Chong in Beat Street. Miranda then tells the girls that she went to the doctor about her headaches and he told her that she is a tongue thruster, which means that when she sleeps, she pushes her front teeth with her tongue, so her bite is off; she is going to go to the orthodontist the day. Carrie doesn't really care, because she wants Miranda to go over to the cute guy and give him her phone number. Miranda refuses to act like she is thirteen, so Carrie does it for her. The cute guy gives Carrie his business card to give to Miranda. Gee, maybe they can go on a group date and go to Friendly's for some ice cream and then to the movies, where they can try to sneak into a rated-R movie!
Carrie is walking down the street drinking bottled water, and she tells us that she decided to brave the heat and go to her shoe repairman to have him work on her soles. She goes to where the shoe repair shop should be, but it is now a comic book store. She goes into the store and asks the guy behind the counter where the shoe repair guy went. He tells her that the shoe guy closed the shop because he couldn't afford the rent. Comic book boy and Carrie have small talk about writing comics and writing newspaper columns, Wonder Woman, blah blah blah flirtcakes. He shows her a comic he drew called Power Lad. She decides to buy a comic from him.
Carrie tells us that she never got her shoes fixed, but a week later she got a new pair of boots. Phew! I was worried she wouldn't have proper footwear! Not. She opens an envelope from work with letters and other correspondence in it, and she finds a drawing of herself as Wonder Woman on the phone calling Power Lad. She tells us she felt compelled to call him and thank him. Then she tells us that Charlotte went surfing on the Internet to find out a way to fix Kyle's problem. She finds a site about erectile dysfunction and a hydraulic pump, so Kyle could turn into a bionic man.
Carrie meets Power Lad at Bar Code, which is a trendy bar that has expensive video games. Carrie wonders what happened to Frogger and Ms. Pacman. PL tells her Ms. Pacman married Pacman, and Carrie thinks that is the greatest thing to ever happen. PL asks her to go on a video ride with her, and she accepts, and as she climbs into the ride, she tells us, "Without ever leaving the building, Power Lad took me to furthest reaches of the galaxy, and right back to seventh grade." Um, Carrie, you have been living in the seventh grade for a few weeks now. At least you know it now, and knowing is half the battle.
Charlotte is in bed looking at a book, but she really has a printout of the bionic penis pump hidden in front of the pages, and she is listening to Kyle talk about his wacky wine-ordering antics with his friends. Kyle asks her how her day was, and she tells him she went to the gallery and the framer's, then went on the Internet. She then slides the penis-pump printout over to him, and he looks at it and gets disgusted. She tells him that they have tried everything else and she thought he would at least try it. He gets upset and doesn't want to talk about it.
Carrie tells us, "Five beers, four video games, 102 degrees outside later" I don't know what part of New York City Carrie is living in, but the city has been pretty cool lately. I guess the writers just assumed that there would be an Indian summer in the city and it would stay hot and sticky later into September. Carrie walks out of the bar and onto the sidewalk, and PL follows her and unfolds the scooter from his backpack. Carrie thinks it is too hot to scoot, so PL invites her to his apartment since there is a nice breeze on his terrace. Carrie tells him she doesn't "scoot to a guy's terrace on the first date." Is that what the young people are calling it nowadays? Carrie usually waits until the second date to scoot her legs open. PL tells her he has central air, so she lets all her morals go to the wayside and hops on his scooter to go to his place. ["And how come she can't afford a window unit if she can afford Blahniks? Go to PC Richard, woman!" -- Sars]
Up on PL's terrace, Carrie is loving the view and the breeze, and PL goes to get them some beers. As Carrie wonders how he can afford such a great place, a middle-aged woman comes out and says hello. PL introduces Carrie to his mother, Mrs. Adams (and PL happens to have two bottles of Sam Adams in his hand. Coincidence?). Mrs. Adams decides to go to bed and tells PL not to stay up too late. PL looks embarrassed, and Carrie looks confused.
Carrie and Samantha are having lunch at Commune, which is owned by Jenny's father. She tells Samantha about PL living with his parents, and Samantha gives Carrie her cell phone to call PL and dump him. Carrie tells her PL put all his money into the comic book store and is saving his money to get a place of his own. Miranda joins them and shows off her new braces -- she has to wear them for a year because of the tongue thrusting. A waitress brings over a bottle of Dom Perignon and tells Samantha it is compliments of Jenny. Samantha gets all pissed off because a thirteen-year-old is buying her $200 bottles of champagne, and when she was thirteen she bought nothing, because she was poor and had to work at Dairy Queen. Obviously Jenny doesn't care about saving money, because you can easily buy a bottle of Dom Perignon for $89 at Sam's Club. I know, because I've done it. Yummy! Samantha is all "Where is she? Where's that little Brat Mitzvah beast?!" as Jenny and two friends prance on over to where the girls are, looking like thirteen-year-old versions of the Fab Four with their outrageous designer outfits that should never really be worn off a catwalk. Jenny sees Carrie and is all "YOU! Are so fucking fabulous!" and then tells Carrie how her column on secret sex was all about her life, since her last boyfriend was all about sex when they were alone, but when they were in school he didn't want anything to do with her. The grown-ups and I look mortified, and then someone's cell phone rings. As the Mini-Fab Three check to see whose phone is ringing, Miranda notices that one of the girls has blue braces. She asks the girl about them, and the girl tells her that they are sapphire. She then notices Miranda's regular braces and gasps, not realizing that they still made old-fashioned braces anymore. Miranda looks really embarrassed, and I would be too, since you can get clear braces now or even some clear retainer-looking thing that I just started seeing commercials for. Jenny tells them they have to go, and as they are leaving, she tells Carrie again that she is fucking fabulous before they sashay off. Carrie can't believe that the girls dress and sound just like them.
Carrie is in her apartment, and wonders if the teenagers are trying to act her age, or are women her age trying to act like teenagers? No, Carrie, it's just you, made worse by the fact that you dress like a mentally challenged seven-year-old. She types on her laptop, "Are the women of my generation growing into mature responsible adults, or are we 34 going on 13?" I'd say you are a lot older than thirty-four and trying to fool us by acting like you're thirteen.