Easy Come, Easy Go

S03E09

Samantha and Bobby are at a health food restaurant, and they get little cups of wheatgrass juice. Carrie tells us in VO that Samantha got the idea of going there to eat from a healthy sperm website. They drink the juice, and Bobby tells her the juice tastes funky. Carrie tells us that Samantha had to fight the urge to tell him he didn't know from funky. Samantha asks the waiter how long it takes for the wheatgrass juice to work its way into the system. The waiter tells her it takes about an hour and a half. Carrie tells us, "An hour and a half, two wheatgrass shots and a ginger melon smoothie later…" Samantha is sitting on the ground with her back to a mirror, giving Bobby a hummer, and Bobby yells out that he is coming. Again, Samantha has an "ew, nasty" look on her face. I guess that was supposed to be funny.

Kyle and Charlotte are in a restaurant having salad, and Kyle doesn't like his salad dressing. He asks the waitress for another salad, and Charlotte puts her hand on his arm like his mother did and suggests the tomato and basil salad. Kyle goes into the "All righty!" trance, then tells her that his mother liked her and that she is a dream come true. He looks into her eyes and says, "Charlotte?" Charlotte's eyes get all big and she leans in and says, "Yes?" and as he is about to say something, the waitress comes with the new salad and Kyle starts eating. He tells her she always knows what he wants, and she puts her hand on his arm again and says, "Maybe we should get married." Kyle says, "All righty!" and keeps on eating. Charlotte sort of looks mortified.

Charlotte is at Carrie's door, looking shocked, and tells Carrie, "I'm engaged. I proposed to myself." She tells Carrie how she suggested a tomato salad, and then suggested they get married. Carrie asks what Kyle said, and Charlotte tells her, "'All righty.'" Carrie is all, "'All righty'? Now I'm thinking the upsetting thing isn't that you proposed, but that you proposed to a guy who says 'all righty'!" Yeah, because that is so much worse than someone who says "go with the flow." Oh, wait, it isn't. Pot(belly) calling kettle black? Charlotte is upset that there was no kneeling and no ring. She thinks it is an awful engagement story because it was so unromantic. Honey, you want to hear an unromantic engagement story? Let me tell you one. My now-husband and I went to St. Maarten and he bought me a lovely diamond ring. I asked him if we were now engaged, and he said no. So all week long I was wearing this ring, and I came home from vacation and went to work and everyone thought I was engaged, but I wasn't. My parents called me and asked me if I was now engaged, and I had to completely confuse them by telling them I had a ring, but my man had not proposed. The weekend my man asked me if I wanted to go to this waterfall in the mountains, and I told him I wasn't interested because it had been raining all week and I knew it was going to be all muddy by the waterfalls. All weekend my man asked me to go to certain places in the mountains and I kept telling him I had no intention of going to the mountains because it was all muddy and buggy. Finally, he decided to open a bottle of champagne while I was taking a shower and propose to me in our home on Sunday night. After I got out of the shower, my best friend called me and I talked to her for over an hour, talking about how bizarre it was that I had a ring but no engagement. After I got off the phone, I decided to go to bed, but I needed to go downstairs to get something out of the dryer. When I came downstairs my man asked me to watch a movie with him on cable -- it just happened to be the first movie we had ever watched together. So I sat down with him and watched the movie, and somewhere in the middle of the movie he leaned over and asked me to marry him. I said yes, and he ran over to the freezer to get the two glasses of champagne he had poured for us almost two hours ago and had put away in the freezer while I was on the phone, and by the time we got to drink them they had become like slushies. So we celebrated our engagement -- finally -- with champagne slushies. I can't wait to tell my grandkids that little ditty.