So, that was exciting, wasn't it? Having a week off we didn't expect. With my time, I spent ten minutes going, "What the fuck? It's not on?" And then the twenty minutes going, "Hell yeah, it's not on!!!" I hope your time was as well spent. I don't know whether we have Aaliyah to thank or what, but my Forty is tipped to whoever it was. Mazel tov.
"Previously...." Ellen and Adam are in the upper Tioga compartment saying, "Now we can make out," and giggling their Dual Giggles of Annoying. Adam says that it's not his leg she's massaging. Adam hugs Ellen, and Katie then floats that within ten minutes of getting on the RV, she realized that Adam and Ellen had a "thing," whether or not they admit it. Ask us whether or not we care. Now that's a different question. A different question: where's the pizza I ordered an hour ago? I miss when pizza guys were all running over kids to get your pizza to your house within thirty minutes lest it come out of their paychecks. Ah, those were the days, by crackie!
Credits. Elimination. Scenes. Pictures. Names. Jisela is gone, replaced by Katie. Adam with his voice-over. Crest. Done.
Dancing. The kids dance. Drink. Drink. Talk. Adam floats that, at the beginning, he thought that Ellen was someone with whom he could have a relationship. Ellen speaks the word of the mistaken, lifting the wool up from over her eyes just long enough to tell us that she knows Adam cares about her because of some stuff he's said. More dancing. Ellen whores all over the dance floor, throwing her pussy on Adam. Slo-mo dancing. Crap dancing. That's it.
Tioga. Morning. Blair stands in front of the RV camera-talking, "It seems that after everybody goes to bed, Adam and Ellen enjoy performing oral sex on each other...three feet away from me...which is disgusting." Whatwhatwhat!? How does Blair know that they "enjoy" it? You know, I don't want to know but, damn. Diz-amn! One point for B/M for kicking it up a notch. Katie then floats that Adam has even told her that they have sex, revealing that Ellen tries to get loud and sometimes he has to cover her mouth. Yeah, she probably keeps asking, "Do you like me? Do you like me? Adam, are you sure you like me?"
And then B/M just rolls right over this most interesting of revelations by having someone deliver their instructions to the Tioga. Katie reads that at 1:45 they have to contact a local baker because he has a "tall order to fill" and needs help. So for those who haven't been following the oh-so-complicated nature of this season: sometimes they get missions; sometimes they get jobs. This is a job. Katie further explains, very helpfully and insightfully, that they don't know how much they're getting paid for this job, but she hopes that it is enough that they'll be able to eat comfortably -- now this is the complicated part -- until they get their job. Wow! Thanks, Katie. (Hey, when do they get to boot someone else?) Steve (hi, Steve!) floats that he loves cooking and he's more than happy to put on the chef hat and apron. Okay. It's sad that these domestic revelations are what B/M has limited the actually-very-funny Steve to. Bye, Msteve! Try not to piss off B/M so much time. Sophia explains, just in case you haven't gotten it, that they really need the money. She says that they've been eating other people's food. Yuck. They down with OPF!
Tioga. Driving. Day. Water. Beautiful. Me. Tired. Hungry. Fucking Dominos. Now Ellen and Katie sit talking by the water. Ellen is babbling nonsense about that's how she feels and that's how Adam feels and so they acted on their feelings and now she goes floaty, whoring that she and Adam are two people who found "something in each other" they liked (I'll leave that one alone), and that she didn't expect a relationship but she's glad it's happened with Adam. "He's an awesome guy," says Katie. Ellen says, "Adam is already taken," and Katie freaks out, repeating how she doesn't believe she just said that and she then tells us that Ellen is possessive of Adam and it goes on and I lose the point...and the will to go on.
City. Buildings. Old buildings. The kids fuck around on some street and Katie tells Adam that he's "attached" and she goes on -- what a bitch -- that Ellen told her just today that Adam is taken. Adam looks stunned behind his stupid red sunglasses, which is kind of funny. Lots of babbling I can't understand. Unsure what to say, Adam deadpans, "Stakes have been laid. Territory has been claimed." Stee has been bored. Moving on.
Tioga. Night. Driving. Adam, off his meds, babbles that he's let his standards drop, and from now on he's only dating centerfolds. Ellen, taking the bait like some fucking King Salmon that after eating the shiny thing and getting the hook one thousand times still does not learn because it has a brain the size of a fucking M&M, turns around and says, "Reaaally?" Katie floats that she doesn't think Adam's ADD has anything to do with how crappily he treats Ellen. Katie gets another gold star in her book of Telling Us Shit We Already Know. (Just five more and she wins a watch that reads, "It's No One Gives A Fuck O'Clock.") Adam goes on to say that if you're going to bang, you might as well bang well. Steve -- hi, Steve! -- floats that Ellen takes Adam's shit, so too bad for her. Adam goes on about dating sisters of supermodels and whatever. People laugh. Ellen whispers, "What a jackass" for the five-hundredth time this trip. But that's all she says in response. She's probably not saying much because she has to rest her jaw for later that night.