Henry is arrested for Tyler's murder, but gets out on bail. Trying to make things better, Actual-Shiv bribes Oksana (the maid who let Henry into Tyler Boytoy's hotel room) into recanting. Oksana takes the money, but brings it and the incriminating information right to New York's finest. The cops haul Bridget-as-Shiv in for questioning. Poor Bridget didn't bribe the maid, so she has no clue what's going on, but she now suspects Tool Belt is responsible for Boytoy's murder.
Meanwhile, Tim Arbogast has gotten Child Protective Services to remove the invisi-twins from Henry's home and place them in his own. Our poor old Tool Belt confronts his father-in-law, learns Tim knows about Henry's affair with Siobhan and suspects him in Gemma's death. In other news, Tim brings the flash drive to Andrew and tells him he's going to save Martin/Charles.
Catherine tries to kill herself, either because she's afraid she's going to be caught, or maybe just because it's Tuesday. It's certainly not because she feels bad for manipulating her child into making a fake rape claim, just to rip of Andrew to the tune of ten million bucks. Juliet gets to say the episode title to Mommy though, so it's all good.
When Cattie is discharged from the hospital, her doctor says she either needs to be admitted to Bellevue or have 24/7 in-home care. Andrew and Bridget, of course, take her in. This gives Catherine a bird's eye view of the still-suspended Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado's investigation into the attempts on Bridget-as-Shiv's life. By episode's end, Catherine drugs Bridget's tea. Stumbling around in a stupor, Bridget finds the missing cell phone (which belonged to the hit man Bridget killed early in the season), but she passes out cold before she can do anything about it. Catherine scatters pills all over Bridget's unconscious face. Meanwhile, Machado has found evidence implicating Cattie and tries to warn Bridget, but Guyliner is no Richard Alpert on this show, so he's too darned late.
There are only two more episodes left in this season (and smart money says the same is true for the series). I know writers can't write as if their show is definitely canceled, but the near miss between Bridget and Shiv has me worried that we will get no satisfaction by season's end. What do you think?
I'll be back tomorrow with the full weecap of "If You're Just An Evil Bitch Then Get Over It." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where it's tea time.