In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Bridget spends much of the episode with Solomon, trying to retrace the Siobhan's steps before her "death." He's helping her, because Bridget-as-Shiv (or Bridget-as-Shiv-as-Cora) tells him she's newly clean and sober, and has a lot of holes in her memory. This is one of the truer things anyone says, all episode long. Meanwhile, Siobhan works on repairing her relationship with Henry -- with lies, when she should be using duct tape. Andrew, Catherine, and an attorney prepare Juliet to give her testimony against Mr. "Logan Echolls" Carpenter.
In a courthouse bathroom, Tessa cries to Juliet she can't testify against Logan, because he never did anything to her. She was just lying to get revenge on him for siding with Juliet in their feud. When Tessa leaves, Juliet runs after her, and Andrea then exits one of the stalls. She's overheard the whole thing. She runs to Andrew and tells him what Tessa said.
Since Tessa won't testify against Logan, the case is dropped. Later, the attorney tells Andrew that Logan plans to sue him for defamation of character. Incensed, Andrew wants to countersue, but the attorney advises against it. Catherine thinks Andrew should settle, for Juliet's sake. Later, Bridget-as-Siobhan says the same thing.
Bridget's Siobhan-search leads her to Shiv's secret Harlem office, where Shiv is hiding in a storage closet, gun in hand! Although Bridget gets the closet opened, she doesn't see Shiv, and Shiv doesn't shoot her. Before Bridget leaves, she finds a key taped under Shiv's desk, so she takes it, along with a Main Street address (which Solomon can't identify). Before the episode is over, Shiv sneaks into Park Ave., has an awkward moment with Andrew, and retrieves the key.
Solomon takes Bridget to a book and coffee shop, where Shiv used to spend hours sitting at a chess table. The table has a secret compartment. The waitress explains that customers write down wishes and slip them in the table. It's a tradition, she says. It's a stupid one, I say. Bridget jimmies open the compartment and finds Shiv's wish: "I wish I could forgive my sister, but I can't." Remembering their last day together, and Shiv's assurance that she was already forgiven, Bridget is devastated.
The day, Solomon takes Bridget to the place where Shiv used to go for target practice. She sees a picture of NA Charlie/John Delario up on the wall. She asks Solomon if she was afraid of John. To the contrary, Solomon assures her John was her friend. Bridget is confused, since, in his Charlie persona, John introduced himself to her at N.A. Because Solomon used to be in the Special Forces, Bridget asks him to work with her and protect her. She's afraid someone is still out to kill her (i.e. kill Shiv). He agrees. Back at the Harlem office, he points out a set of woman's footprints in the closet, and says the way they're positioned suggests someone was watching her.
Meanwhile, Olivia has strong-armed Henry into getting her a meeting with Tim Arbogast -- Gemma's filthy rich father. Her leverage? A picture of Henry and Shiv being all snuggly-wuggly in bed (and it is not the picture we saw Olivia snag from Henry's phone, however long ago). After Arbogast agrees to do some business with Martin/Charles, Olivia meets privately with Henry and lets him delete the picture from her phone. He then drops the phone into a pitcher of water, for good measure. But from the smile on Olivia's face, it's pretty clear she has back-ups. Shiv is horrified when she learns Henry steered Arbogast to Martin Charles, and says he should have run it by her, first. With the mystery key in hand, she takes him to a safety deposit box. Inside, is some sort of recording. We don't get to hear it, but when Henry listens, his head nearly explodes.
As some of our forum members have been suggesting all along, Juliet's allegations against Logan are not only a ruse -- they're a ruse he is in on, along with Tessa Troublemaker. The three of them celebrate, together, as they anticipate getting Juliet's trust-fund monies back, in this new fashioned way.
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where someone is always watching you.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Dirty Confession: I fell asleep during this week's Ringer broadcast. I had to wake up early the morning and watch the rest of it to write up the recaplet. I settled down Wednesday afternoon, to watch it all the way through, and fell asleep again. I put it on Wednesday night, and fell asleep, again. Despite its twists and reveals, this episode is the best thing that's ever happened to my insomnia. I dragged myself out of bed at 4:00 AM to watch and finish this write up. The kids will be getting up for school at 6:00, so I figure even if I fall asleep, they'll wake me up, because that's their gift.
Bridget-as-Shiv takes on the Cora persona for a day of discovery with discreet driver, Solomon, who is ex-military -- Special Forces. When Solomon asks why she's asking him so many questions about her own life, Bridget says she's recently sober and can't remember big chunks of time. As I mentioned in the recaplet that might be the truest thing uttered all episode. Per her request, Solomon checks his records and tells her the last time he drove her anywhere was September 8, 2011. She's thrown by the date and admits that something happened around then to someone she really loved and asks to retrace her steps from that day.
Bridget's first stop is at Shiv's secret Harlem office. The security guard comments that, as per her request, her name has never gone up on the building index, but he's surprised to see her come through the front, because Shiv-as-Cora always snuck in the back, Jack. Bridget pretends she lost her keys and gets the guard to let her in Shiv's office. Seated at the desk, she finds a Post-it note that reads 1947 Main Street. The real Siobhan is watching from the closet. And? She's packing heat. Title card.
Bridget finds a small key on a boat keyring, taped under the desk. Looking around to see what it might open, she notices the closet door is ajar. Don't go in there, NICE BUFFY. MEAN BUFFY WILL KILL YOU. Bridget opens the closet door. Shiv slinks into the shadows. Since the closet seems to contain nothing but boxes of records, Bridget closes it and returns to the car.
Solomon doesn't recognize the key or that Main Street address, so she asks him to take her to her stop. He's surprised she's sitting in front and cracks that she sure is different... sober. I think of something fresh to say, but yesterday, my mother told me she is going to start tsking me when I get bawdy in my recaps, "...because you're better than that, Cindy." I remind her I am a product of my heredity and environment, and she's partially responsible for both. She doesn't care, and tsks me, for the heck of it. I REALLY CAN'T TAKE THE STRESS, MUM!
Gramercy Park West: Shiv is with Henry (Tool Belt), feeding him a pack of lies. She says Bridget convinced her to switch lives and a whole bunch of blah blah. Tool Belt, of all people, accuses Shiv of not thinking. Shiv perpetuates the idea that Bridget and NA Charlie/John got greedy and kidnapped Gemma. She also tells him that while she was in Paris, she got some dirt on Andrew. Her prenup with Andrew is iron-clad. She gets nothing if they divorce, but she thinks she's figured out a way for her to run away with Tool Belt on Andrew's dime. She has something to show him, but she needs the key Bridget stole from the Harlem office. She promises that when she gets the key back, everything will make sense.
Park Ave: Andrew and Catherine are present as their attorney preps Juliet for her testimony against Mr. "Logan Echolls" Carpenter. Catherine snaps about the little inconsistencies in Juliet's story. (Did he grab her left arm, or her right -- stuff like that.) Andrew tells Catherine to calm down, but the attorney says consistency is important. Andrew asks the women to leave the room, so he can talk privately with Juliet. The attorney and Catherine leave the room, but mere walls can't keep Catherine from interfering. When she shouts from the other room, Andrew threatens to put her on the plane to Miami. I'm shouting from my living room, Andrew. Can I go Miami, please? Juliet cries as she asks her parents to stop fighting and promises she will get her testimony right.
Gramercy Park West: Olivia stops by to give Tool Belt some "Egyptian Cotton" jammies for his twins. Tool Belt: "This is so unnecessary." Right? Because they're invisible. Who cares what they wear to bed? When Olivia asks if Tool Belt is going to invite her in, he says, "Do I need to? Are you a vampire?" A lot of people liked this little Buffy the Vampire Slayer shout-out, but it didn't work for me, since Olivia is actually a vampire. I mean, how bad does she suck? She's really there to get Henry to introduce her to his father-in-law, Tim Arbogast -- a millionaire many times over. Henry refuses. Olivia pulls out her cell phone and shows Henry a picture of him and Shiv in bed, as she says, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this." See? Vampire. (Also note, it's not the same, relatively innocuous picture we saw Olivia steal from Henry's phone however long ago.) Olivia lies that this is the only picture she has. If Tool Belt will get her Arbogast, Olivia says that she will hit delete.
Solomon brings Bridget to a shop called, "Hot Coffee & Cool Books." Bridget says it doesn't look like her kind of place, but Solomon assures her she used to spend hours there, sitting at the chess table. The chess table has a secret compartment. The waitress explains that customers write down wishes, put their name and the date on them [You're welcome. -- Contrivance Fairy] and slip them into the slot on the table. It's a hokey tradition, she says. And a stupid one, I say. The key doesn't fit the compartment lock, which is clearly meant for a skeleton key, so Bridget jimmies it open with a butter knife. She soon finds Shiv's wish, ever so thoughtfully written on note-sized paper with a S M stamped or doodled on the side. [I really didn't expect to feature so heavily, this early in the episode. --Contrivance Fairy] Siobhan's wish reads: I wish I could forgive my sister, but I can't. It's dated 9-8-11.
Flashing back to their last day together and Shiv's assurance that Bridget was already forgiven (for whatever that Sean business was), Bridget is devastated. Solomon comes in just then with her purse, which she left behind in the limo. I can't decide if that's important or not, but it seems like it should happen for a reason. He sees Bridget crumple up the wish and close the table compartment. He also notices how upset she looks and asks if she's okay. Bridget: "No. My sister lied to me. I wonder what else she lied to me about." Pretty much everything, NICE BUFFY.
Restaurant. Tool Belt meets with Tim Arbogast (Gregory Harrison, who is still looking good). Arbogast talks about his heart attack, but admits he's still smoking. They talk about how hard Gemma's death has been and Arbogast notes the two men haven't been alone together, since the day Tool Belt asked to marry Gemma. I can't decide if that's weird or not. I mean, my dad and Scott didn't go places together, but surely there were times when we were visiting my folks, or they were visiting us that they were alone watching a game or something while my mother and I were in the kitchen. Anyhow, Tool Belt apologizes for not reaching out sooner. When Arbogast asks what business Henry has to discuss, Henry takes a huge swig of his drink. Arbogast: "I may be stubborn, but I'm not blind. I know what I'm doing here." Tool Belt gulps. "You do?" Arbogast: "You wanted to stay connected to Gemma. And you can. I'll always... love her. And I feel the same way about you, Henry." You do??? Oh, I hope you are setting up Tool Belt, Arbogast. I truly do. Anyhow, Henry suggests a meeting with Martin/Charles.
Park Ave: Catherine is trying to figure out what Juliet should wear when she testifies. Juliet: "Why don't I just wear a nun's habit?" Catherine stresses that this is serious and suggests Chanel. "It's classic. It's elegant. It's almost heroic. I mean virgins wear Chanel, don't they?" Juliet flops on her bed and tells Catherine, "Whatever you want." Catherine tells her to sit up and give her a hug, then adds, "I think I have some pearls at the hotel." When Bridget appears at the bedroom door, Catherine leaves the room. The two women manage not to claw out each other's eyes.
Once she's alone with Juliet, Bridget says she has pearls Juliet can wear. Juliet doesn't want one mother mothering her, never mind two. Bridget quietly says she was just trying to help and starts to leave the room. Juliet apologizes. Catherine is just making her feel like she's going to screw up. Bridget assures her she won't. After commenting that Catherine is a bitch, Juliet wishes she had a normal mother -- one who wouldn't make her feel like she's making a mistake for "doing this." Bridget compliments Juliet on her courage and assures her she doesn't have to be afraid. She's touched when Juliet says, "I really need you there, tomorrow." The two hug.
Siobhan's Hotel Room is pretty lush. Henry and Shiv are lying on the bed, in matching robes. He asks how she can afford her digs. Shiv: "I said I was on a budget, not destitute." When she leaves the room, a call from Tyler Barrett (Boytoy) comes in over her lap top. Tool Belt hits the ignore key. When a second call comes in, Henry decides to take it. It's a video call, and Boytoy is surprised to see Tool Belt lying there in a robe. He asks for Shiv. Tool Belt asks to take a message. Boytoy says he's Tyler Barrett and Shiv will know why he's calling. Once Tyler ends the call, Shiv returns to the bedroom. Henry asks who Tyler Barrett is. Shiv is not so good at hiding that she's thrown, but once Tool Belt says, "He's a good looking guy, wouldn't you say," Shiv rolls her eyes at him and sits down on the bed. She explains that Tyler is in charge of Martin/Charles European operations and has been helping her get incriminating goods on Andrew's business dealings. There's some blah blahing from them, which ends with Shiv swearing she never once strayed from her plan to be with him. They each say, "I love you," and are kissing when the camera cuts away.
Court House: Juliet has just given her testimony. Her attorney deals with the press, while Bridget reminds Juliet the hard part is over. Catherine sneers at Bridget. Andrea comes up and hugs Juliet. Andrew notes that Mr. DeLuca wants to ask Juliet some questions before Tessa Troublemaker's testimony. I gather DeLuca must be Tessa's attorney, and here's what throws me: is this is trial or a civil suit? I mean, Juliet's got her own attorney. It sounds like Tessa has one, too. I suppose Juliet could just have her own attorney because Andrew is rich and he wants someone working with his daughter privately, beyond whatever the D.A. is doing, to ensure her testimony is sound.
Recapper's Husband: You realize you're putting more thought into this than the writers, right? Don't you have an 8:00 AM deadline?
Recapper: Point taken and yep.
Recapper's Husband: Well it's 7:00 AM, and the kids don't even leave for another half-hour. Why the heck are you wasting time asking me questions like this? As soon as this show is over, I forget all about it. I'M A GUY!
Recapper: I always liked that about you.
Recapper's Husband: I don't think I've seen this episode all the way through yet. I keep falling asleep. It's like televised NyQuil.
Recapper: Right?
So anyhow, once Catherine and Bridget are alone, Catherine comes at Bridget for always trying to one up her. Bridget assures Catherine she's not trying to do that, and she's not working an angle. She does think, however, that Catherine is too hard on Juliet. She suggests Catherine and Juliet spend some time alone together, and says that when they went ice skating over the holidays Juliet seemed to like it. Catherine's expression softens as she remembers taking Juliet skating when she was little. Bridget promises to give mother and daughter some space. Catherine: "Siobhan, thanks for not being a bitch." Bridget gives a fake smile to this and walks off. I wonder how she is not getting the message that her sainted twin was a nasty piece of work. I mean, has anyone -- other than Tool Belt (and the poor, late, Gemma) -- not hated Shiv for one reason or another?
Sidebar: The ice skating mention was, to me, a better Buffy shout-out. Buffy (like Sarah Michelle Gellar herself) loved ice skating. Angel once hired out a rink, and took her. She loved going to ice shows, and was devastated when her father stood her up for their usual Ice Capades (or similar) date on one of her birthdays. Okay. It's 7:13 AM, now. No time for sentimental Buffy Stuffy.
Juliet seems to be composing herself, in a courthouse bathroom when Tessa Troublemaker enters and cries to Juliet she can't testify against Logan, because he never did anything to her. She was just lying to get revenge on him for siding with Juliet in their feud. When Tessa leaves, Juliet runs after her. Andrea then exits one of the stalls. She's overheard the whole thing. Commercial.
Park Ave. The attorney explains to Andrew and Catherine that once Tessa admitted she was going to lie on the stand, they had to drop the case, because it was a he said/she said situation once again. Carpenter's reputation is "sterling." (Yeah, Roger Sterling, maybe.) Juliet's? Not so much. The hybrid DA/Private Attorney then informs Andrew that Carpenter is suing him for defamation of character. No, I'm not going to try to figure this out. Andrew refuses to pay a cent. He wants to countersue. Catherine says Andrew should just settle, for Juliet's sake. Andrew says the suit is for millions of dollars. Catherine stands by her opinion and asks the Hybrid Lawyerly Person if the amount named isn't just a starting point. The Hybrid agrees it is. Catherine says they've screwed up Juliet's life enough. She's not wrong.
Meanwhile, Bridget is riding around with Solomon. He mentions how shaken up she seemed yesterday. She confides that September 8th was the day before her sister killed herself. She was hoping that retracing her steps from that day might give her some insight. "My sister and I'd had a falling out, but I thought she'd forgiven me before she died. Turns out that I was wrong. That's why I called you. I need to finish what I started."
Solomon pulls the limo down an alleyway. He tells Bridget that the last time he drove her this this spot she "disappeared behind that door." Bridget enters. It's a shooting range. She asks the guy at the desk if he remembers her. He does, but says it's been a while. "You're a pretty good shot. For a girl." Slay him, Buffy. Slay him. She doesn't listen. Instead, she decides to try out the mystery key on some of the lockers.
Shiv's Room: She video-calls Tyler back. He's miffed that Tool Belt answered his call. Shiv handily lies that Henry is her brother and tells him he has to trust her. The cojones on this one, is what I'm sayin'... Tyler says he called because an IT guy has started asking questions about why Tyler is accessing confidential Martin/Charles documents. The people in the show thread wonder if this could be Malcolm. I hope so, because he so hardly matters to the story right now. Anyhow, Boytoy says if IT Guy noticed, others will too, so he's not so sure he can keep doing this. Shiv plays the baby card, because Bad Buffy has no shame.
Shooting Range: The mystery key doesn't work on any of the lockers, but when Bridget turns to leave, she notices a bunch of photos on the wall. Among them is one of NA Charlie/John. The plaque under his photo reads: "Marksman of the Month, John Delario. December 2009." Marksman of the month? Remember that time he shot Gemma? In the head? At point blank range? And missed? Yeah, well, apparently the show has forgotten. Anyhow, Bridget is freaked out. She takes a picture of his picture and runs outside, to show it to Solomon. She asks if she could have been coming to the shooting range to protect herself from John. Solomon says she used to meet John there. "He's your friend." She flashes back to meeting John at NA. "I didn't introduce myself. The name's Charlie. Been sober 4 years."
Back in the present, Bridget steps away to make a phone call. Bridget: "Are you there, God Malcolm's Voicemail? It's me, Margaret, Bridget." She leaves a message telling him that Shiv and John were friends. Since he introduced himself, that means he had to know Bridget was Bridget, not Shiv. It doesn't make any sense. "Oh my God. If John wasn't the killer, then does that mean there's someone still after me?" Malcolm's Voicemail: "You still don't get how voicemail works, do you?"
Park Ave. Night. Bridget snuggles up with Andrew on the couch. He tells her that Catherine thinks he should settle. He has no intention of rewarding the monster who assaulted his daughter. Bridget understands and while she hates saying it, she thinks Catherine is right. They should settle and let Juliet have the fresh start she needs. Just then, Juliet comes in, glowing. She had a great day with her mom, ice skating. She even reaches out to Bridget, and says, "We should go, sometime." Once they're alone, Andrew tells Bridget he'll call the attorney in the morning, and agree to a settlement. Bridget says, "It's the right thing."
Martin/Charles Financial: Olivia makes her case for Arbogast to invest with them, and asks if he has any questions. Arbogast: "Can you assure me..." -- he turns his gaze to Tool Belt -- "...my money is in good hands?" Olivia starts to answer, but Arbogast wants the answer from Henry. Tool Belt gulps. "The numbers don't lie, Tim." Arbogast rises to his feet. "We'll start with a reasonable amount, and work our way up." Olivia's smile says, "Bernie Madoff has nothing on me, because I'm a vampire." Tim leaves the room, which seems weird, because wouldn't he expect his loving son-in-law to walk out, with him? Anyhow, Tool Belt demands the photo. Olivia takes out her phone. "This is the only one. You can erase it yourself, if you like." Tool Belt: "Why should I believe you?" Olivia: "I may be opportunistic, but I'm not a liar." Me: "LIAR!" Olivia tells Tool Belt to check the "sent-history" on her phone. "No one's seen this photo, except for you." Right, because no one ever, ever clears the history on their electronic devices. Tool Belt swipes at the phone, deletes the photo, then drops Olivia's phone into a pitcher of water, and walks out without a word. Once she's alone, a playful, satisfied expression plays at the corner of Olivia's eyes.
The day, Bridget meets up with Solomon again. She spoke to his former C.O. and hears he's a true war hero. She wanted a recommendation, because she needs to know if she can trust him. She wants to hire him to protect her. "Somebody's trying to kill me. [...] I took this ride to get answers, but all I got is more questions. What do you say? Will you help me, Solomon?"
Park Ave. Shiv sneaks into her former home, but I never see her look at her ginormous photo, which is sad. I'm feeling a little cheese deficient. She finds the mystery key, after a little bit of rifling around. Just then, Andrew returns. He tells her, "We settled." Shiv has no clue what he's talking about, but Andrew continues, and thanks her for talking him into it. "I agree. It's the right thing to do." She is taken aback when he kisses her, and of course she doesn't respond as Bridget would. He asks her if she's okay, and says she doesn't look too good. Shiv: "Excuse me?" Andrew babbles nervously about how he meant no offense. The trial has been hard on all of them. He proposes they have dinner with Juliet, that night. And? Shiv just leaves without a word. Poor Andrew. I must go to him.
Hotel Room: Juliet is raiding the mini-bar and throws some candy to Tessa Troublemaker, and mocks her as "ghetto" for not knowing what marzipan is. There's a knock at the door. It's Mr. Carpenter. [That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo. --Buffy Bot]
Sidebar: I envy the people who were shocked by this twist. I wasn't shocked at all, neither am I particularly pleased. Okay, hey, I'm really glad Logan isn't forcing himself on teenaged girls. Clearly, though, his character is corrupt, and Jason Dohring, if he ever gets some decent screen time, will give us great rogue. I don't know. I'm nearly out of time, so let me sum it up.
Tessa, Juliet, and Carpenter set up this whole thing, to get some money out of Andrew. Okay, Tessa's poor and a trouble maker. Juliet lost her trust fund and is a trouble maker. Both characters are teenagers. I can see them going in for a plan like this. But Carpenter? He's an adult and a teacher. He let himself get drawn into a complicated plan, with two obviously unstable kids? This is hard to swallow. My tsk tsking mother agrees. Anyhow, we get a flashback to the courthouse. Juliet and Tessa wait until Andrea enters into the bathroom. Juliet follows -- then Tessa. They put on their performance about Tessa deciding not to testify, because she lied about Carpenter. In a flashback, we see Andrea after exiting the stall. She runs to Andrew with what she's just overheard.
Back in the present, Logan talks about them splitting the money three ways. But when he's a little playful with the drunken Tessa, the relatively sober Juliet is clearly displeased. Logan plays obtuse and reminds her she's getting back her trust fund money and encourages her to celebrate. This will not end well.
Back at Park Ave., Bridget can't find the mystery key, since Shiv stole it and all. Henry asks her if she's all right and mentions how distant she seemed earlier. This doesn't ping Bridget, even though it should, so she just apologizes and says she's been distracted. She lays a long, soft smooch on Andrew, and eases his mind.
At a bank, Shiv takes out a safety deposit box. Tool Belt is with her and she tells him she's going to have to return to Paris, because Bridget is getting too close to the truth. "I'm going to have to get that information from Tyler." Tool Belt says he's going with her, but Shiv insists he's got to stay and keep an eye on Bridget. Changing the subject, she asks how drinks went with his father-in-law. Tool Belt says they were good and then says, "I got him to invest in Martin/Charles." Shiv: "You did what?" Tool Belt: "What, even though you've already told me that you've got some sort of dirt on Andrew, how is this in any way a bad idea?" That might be a paraphrase. Tool Belt explains about the blackmail photo. Shiv: "You should have come to me, first."
In Paris, Tyler Boytoy takes out a business card. In part, it reads: "Everett Lanfair. Securities Exchange Commission." On it is a New York number and address. Tyler makes a call, introduces himself to Lanfair and reminds him he audited the firm a few months ago. "I have reason to believe there might be some less than scrupulous activity going on in my company."
Harlem Office. Bridget and Solomon enter. She's looking for clues as to who might want to kill her. She says she'll start with the desk and asks Solomon to start with the closet. He finds some dusty woman's footprints, and says the way they're positioned suggests someone was watching her.
Back at the bank, Shiv tells Henry that Arbogast is about to lose a lot of money. Henry's all, "Siobhan, what are you talking about?" Shiv uses the mystery key on the safety deposit box. She hands Tool Belt some ear buds. He puts one in his ear. Shiv presses a button. Tool Belt listens for a few seconds, then takes out the ear bud. "Oh my God." Fade to black. Grrr Argh.
I am flat out of time. I'll see you week. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, where someone is always watching you.
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