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Shiv's frenemy Greer is raising funds for Juliet's public [shudder] school, so Bridget (who is sporting bangs that I either love, love-to-hate or just plain hate) hosts a benefit at the Park Ave. pad. Juliet gets trashed during the party, so Andrew sends her to her room. When Bridget checks on her, she learns Juliet is trying to avoid Mr. "Logan" Carpenter and why, so Bridget turns into Buffy and punches him in the face, which would have worked better for me, had it not been teased five years ago, when the episode of Ringer aired.
By the way, Greer knows about Henry (Tool Belt) and Shiv's affair. Bridget-as-Shiv tells Greer it's over. But meanwhile...Siobhan is still in town, and she tells Henry they're not broken up any more. It's all so confusing. Shiv sneaks into Andrew's office, and then later sneaks into the Park. Ave pad, because she's trying to steal more information about Martin/Charles Financial. She can't help but peek at herself (well, Bridget) in the shower, though, which is really kind of creepy. She also steals the big rock Andrew gave Bridget on the anniversary of his wedding to Shiv. Poor Nice Buffy. Mean Buffy is totes the reason she can't have nice things (except, of course, for all the nice things Nice Buffy is currently enjoying as she assumes Mean Buffy's life).
Now that Gemma is actually dead, Tool Belt cares about her a lot, so he's cooperating with Agent Victor "Guyliner" Machado, in the Bridget Kelly investigation. Also? Malcolm gets at job at Andrew's firm, in order to keep an eye on him. Who can blame you, Mal? I like keeping both eyes on Andrew.
I suddenly feel like I have to watch all eleven episodes again, to even remember what the heck is going on with this show. All I know for sure is that it was a bad scheduling decision to let a new show go so long without any new episodes. When the last episode bowed, I was all squeeful about this show. Now, I'm just trying to remember who is who.
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, but please don't steal our jewelry.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome back, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the hiatus, even though it was three weeks longer than we were promised, when Ringer aired its "mid-season finale." Eyeballing the ratings, it seems, "Out of sight, out of mind," is the applicable cliché. I thought I would be thrilled to have Ringer back on my screen, but expecting it to return January 10, and then having to wait until January 31, sort of burst my soapy little bubble. I imagine network scheduling must be a nightmare on even the best days, but I do not understand the wisdom behind the choice to delay Ringer's return. It's a baby show, still finding its audience. Oh well, let's get right to it, shall we?
Park Ave, Day: Bridget, getting ready to shower, removes the boulder of a rock that Andrew gave her for his six year anniversary with Siobhan. She smiles as she carefully lays the ring on a clean, empty soap dish. She gets in the shower, but her hair is still up in a clip. My mother calls. "Why isn't that dirty thing washing her hair?" We debate this, and I point out the new, heavy bangs, and mention I think Sarah Michelle Gellar (SMG) is wearing a wig now, for her Bridget role. Mum isn't interested in metatextual decisions, and finally offers this fanwank: "Well, she has so much money now, she probably gets her hair done every day."
While Bridget is showering, Siobhan enters the bathroom. Don't worry, as I read (maybe on our boards, I can't remember) nobody living in the Park Ave pad has any peripheral vision. Bridget's back is to the door, so she never sees her twin just standing there, staring at her. I've read dozens of Psycho references to this scene, so I'm guessing you have, too. Commercial. Yikes. Save me. It's that JC Penney ad where all they do is scream. Oh, yes! Salvation arrives in the form of a phone call. It's mum, again. "Oh c'mon. Bridget never sensed someone was in the room?" I should just ask mum to write this up for me, and be done with it.
New York City, Evening, Two Days Earlier: Bridget and Andrew are laughing cozily in a restaurant, when they're joined by their friends Jeffrey (Brody Hutzler) and Greer Sheridan (Mädchen Amick). As then men shake hands, Greer hands Bridget a bouquet of peonies and we flashback to Malcolm and Bridget going through NA Charlie/John's things, and finding an envelope. On it is a note with Siobhan's first name, then "Pivoine 419." Cut to Bridget doing a web search and learning pivoine is French for peony. Back in the present, Bridget eyes Greer, suspiciously. Greer is a catty little baggage, but she's the kind of catty that often escapes men, and seldom escapes women. While the men chitchat, Bridget makes a comment about peonies being out of season. "You must have gone to a lot of trouble to get these." When Greer smarms, "Oh, anything for you," Bridget's expression hardens. Greer: "You really want to do this, now?" Andrew and Jeffrey remain clueless. Bridget remains silent.
When Jeffrey proposes ordering a bottle of wine, Bridget refuses, so Henry follows suit. The Sheridans seem surprised by the Martins teetotaling. Talk turns to the couples' children. Andrew mentions Juliet is now attending *GASP* public school -- Zachary Secor High. Greer says that her "Foundation" is doing a charity auction to benefit the school, because she has a Foundation, dahling. Greer is shocked that "Shiv" turns out to be an advocate of public schools. Bridget offers to help Greer with a fund-raising project. I'm already bored.
Gramercy Park: Henry (Tool Belt) welcomes Agent Victor Machado (Guyliner) into his home. Tool belt says that the NYPD has been less than helpful and are treating the case as closed. He knows NA Charlie/John shot and killed Gemma and then killed himself, so I guess Gemma is dead (although, you know the rules). He then adds, "But that's not everything. I mean there's more evidence. They found Bridget's fingerprints." I think he means the prints that Bridget planted on vase, but who can tell? Henry: "The gun that was used to kill Gemma was traced back to Bridget, so why aren't they looking for her?" Guyliner can't get into the details but assures Tool Belt he's doing everything he can to find Bridget. He speculates that perhaps Bridget needed money and kidnapping her sister's rich friend might have seemed easy. Tool Belt: "Siobhan. Of course. It all comes back to her." Oh Tool Belt -- right church, wrong pew.
Park Ave Pad: Andrew is pleased "Shiv" will be working on a fund-raiser with Greer, whom she usually avoids "like the plague." Bridget tries to prod Andrew for more information on Siobhan's history with Greer, but she doesn't get anything from him. After she says they should let the past stay in the past, Bridget asks Andrew if anything seems off with Juliet, but again, he knows nothing, because our wonderful Welshman has a case of the Him-Dims. As the couple climbs in bed, Bridget removes her boulder. Andrew teases that if she doesn't like the ring, she can exchange it. She laughs at him and says it just keeps sliding off, so she needs the band resized. "Then the fit will be as perfect as the rest of it." They smooch and we leave them their privacy.
Martin/Charles Financial, Morning: Siobhan is still in New York! She lets herself into Andrew's office and is trying to hack into his computer when Tyler Boytoy call her. Shiv is trying to explain her absence when she is surprised by Andrew's assistant, Claudine. She leaves Tyler hanging on the other end of the line as she rises to her feet. Shiv lies that she wants to throw a surprise party for Andrew, but can't get into his address book. She asks Claudine if she knows his password, but Claudine can't help. And while it makes sense Claudine wouldn't know Andrew's password, it makes no sense at all that she couldn't provide Siobhan with a list of Andrew's contacts. Since we all know Siobhan isn't there for the contacts anyhow, I guess the writers decided not to belabor the point.
Park Ave: What in the name of all that's holy is SMG wearing? It's a red shirt, but the sleeves are separated from the shoulder straps and droop as though they too lost their interest over the hiatus. In the middle of the bodice there is metallic beading, that I think weighs more than SMG. It's on some sort of black background. Bridget's wig o' bangs is as droopy as her sleeves. If she getting her hair done every day, as mum suggests, she is being ripped off. She is wearing this monstrosity atop black leather pants. The Buffiness of her choice in bottoms should make me happy, but somehow, it just rubs salt in the wound.
Bridget walks into the living room to find Juliet drinking coffee all by herself. Bridget asks if she's all right. Juliet lies that she's fine, but when Andrew comes in and says it's time to get to school, Juliet tries to pretend she has a stomach bug. Andrew insists she get herself off to school and breezes out of the room. When Juliet rises, I get a good look at her necklace. It's a long, gold chain that reaches past her rib cage, and on that chain is a ginormous key. It's so big, it could contain Dawn Summers, herself. ["The key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God." --Random Knight of Byzantium]
Malcolm calls Bridget. He can't make it to NA today, because he has a job interview. If he doesn't find something soon, he may have to move on. Bridget tells him Andrew needs a computer guy. Malcolm sneers that he's a "prof" not a "tech." Bridget says, "It's one afternoon. I'll text you his number."
ZSHS: Andrea can't believe Juliet is back in school, and hasn't told her parents that Mr. "Logan" Carpenter forced himself on her. Juliet denies she needs any help. She wants to forget it happened, and move on. When she sees Logan in the hall, she stops dead in her tracks.
Sidebar: We don't get any firm evidence on whether or not Juliet lied when she told Andrea that Logan forced himself on her, so here's my theory du jour: Logan did not force himself on her. He rejected her, and once they were alone, told her off good and proper. Juliet was humiliated. (And maybe she later saw him and another student, perhaps Tessa Troublemaker, getting a little too cozy-wozy.) I think she lied to Andrea, not because she wanted to get Logan in trouble, but just to save face, and now she's trapped in this lie.
Siobhan is in a coffee shop when she finally returns Tyler Boytoy's call. He doesn't trust her and with good reason, (even when Shiv plays the pregnancy card, which she readily does) but he does want to know if Andrew is up to anything illegal, because if so, he wants to leave Martin/Charles, before the whole thing comes crashing down and Siobhan exposes him. Shiv thinks there's got to be a second set of books, but can't find them, because office security is too tight. Tyler advises her that home security is usually more lax than office security. She thanks him and cuts the phone call short, when she sees Henry passing by.
Shiv runs outside and calls out to Henry. When she's all, "I miss you," he's all, "You know who I miss? My wife. You brought Bridget Kelly into our lives, and if it wasn't for you, Gemma would be here, today." Shiv begs him to let her explain everything. It's so disappointing that she cares this deeply about this moron. What kind of Evil Twin is she?
After the break, Tool Belt claims he's too busy to meet, but Shiv keeps pushing it. Finally, he relents and agrees to make some time for her on Friday, at 10:00 AM. Shiv: "Usual place?" Tool Belt: "Yeah, we don't have the usual place, anymore." (Their hotel room.) They agree to meet at the Martins' loft.
Fed Shed: The writers make Agent Guyliner do their retconning, as if poor Nestor Carbonell hasn't been misused enough. He tells Agent Otherguy that the trajectory of NA Charlie/John Delario's supposedly self-inflicted gunshot wound is off. And that part is fine. But then he says, "Delario's hands tested positive for powder residue, but trace amounts, which point to him having fired the gun hours before, and yet he died instantaneously." I'm sorry, there were not hours between the two times NA Charlie shot Gemma, and the one time Shiv shot him. The angle of the gun was off. That's enough. Why muck it up with this crap?
Guyliner says the NYPD is only happy with the suicide explanation because Delario was one of their own and they want the whole thing buried. He can't figure out why Bridget would kill Delario. The woman he knew back in Wyoming was no kidnapper and no killer. Guyliner just wants to figure out how and why Bridget and Delario teamed up. But wait, the NYPD already knows that Delario was serving as Malcolm's sponsor. Surely you know that too, Guyliner. Right? I mean I know that's not the answer, but wouldn't you start there? Ugh. Agent Otherguy gives Guyliner photos from a traffic camera. They show Delario driving into the Hamptons the same weekend Bridget came to town -- September 8. Guyliner smiles like maybe he thinks he's getting somewhere. Frankly, I'm shocked he finds his way out of bed in the morning.
Martin/Charles: Andrew makes a presentation on Martin/Charles growth. When an investor asks for a 10 year projection, Malcolm runs a quick program and shows that buy 10 years, their growth will be off the charts. Oh yeah, someone's cooking the books.
Park Ave: Greer and Bridget go over their plans for the fund-raising party Bridget is throwing for ZSHS. She feels out Greer on the strain between them and says she wants things to be better. Greer is less catty and more vulnerable, here. It seems Greer saw Shiv and Tool Belt together. Shiv threatened Greer into silence. Greer doesn't want to talk about it, but reminds Shiv she kept her mouth shut. They're interrupted when Juliet returns home from school. As Greer leaves, Bridget tells her she'd like to revisit their discussion, sometime. Greer walks away. The giant black and white portrait of Siobhan that's looming in the hall, suddenly sprouts hands and twirls its handlebar mustache.
Once they're alone, Juliet tries to beg off attending the benefit party, but Bridget expects her to put in an appearance. Juliet freaks when she learns Mr. Carpenter will be there, and insists she won't attend. Suspicious Bridget's suspicion grows suspiciously fast.
Martin/Charles; Andrew is impressed by Malcolm's work and tells him that if he ever wants to change fields, he should give him a call.
NYC Streets: Shiv watches as Bridget and her bangs make her way down the street. Henry soon runs out of the building and gets into his car. Once the car drives off, Shiv calls Henry and tells him she might be a few minutes late, but she'll be there. She asks him to wait for her.
Park Ave: Siobhan nods approvingly at the giant photographic monument to her ego and makes her way to Andrew's computer. On the way, she grabs one of her scarfs that Bridget has left lying on the back of a chair. Shiv clutches it to her bosom, as if it is her dearest friend. She tries a couple of passwords: Arsenal, Juliet, but they don't work. She then spots a new picture on the desk. It is Henry and Bridget, happily embracing one another under and New Year's 2012 banner. Siobhan rolls her eyes, then types her own name into the password field. Ta da! Grabbing a USB stick out of her purse, Shiv inserts it into the drive and starts her download. A second later, the elevator dings. Shiv jumps up and into Commercial.
As mentioned before (and not originally by me) no one in this joint has the benefit of peripheral vision, so Andrew never spots Shiv, even though she's standing in the very room where he finds his briefcase. When he's distracted by a phone call from Olivia, it gives Shiv a place to hide (okay, she's only behind a curtain, but it's better than when she was standing out in the open). She takes her own cell phone out and looks at the time. She's 37 minutes late for her 10:00 AM with Tool Belt. We cut to the loft, where he's cursing Siobhan's name, and then back to Park Ave. Bridget arrives with the dry cleaning, and is surprised to find Andrew home. Shiv seems a little put out that Bridget and Andrew can make such easy conversation about Juliet, the party, dress selections and the new boulder of a ring. She gapes as she watches her sister kiss her husband. When the couple walks out of the room, Shiv makes her way out of hiding and finishes downloading the files and makes to leave. The elevator dings, but the noise that stops Shiv is the sound of the shower.
We're back to where we were at the top of the hour. Bridget is getting ready for the shower in which she washes neither her hair nor face (you never pointed that out, mum). She lays down the ring, disrobes and gets in. Shiv enters the bathroom, gets way too close for comfort and stares at her nekkid sister (as well as her own reflection in the glass shower doors). The shortest shower on record comes to an end. Did you just have some dirt on your belly, B? Bridget turns around. Shiv is gone. Bridget wraps herself in a towel and walks by the vanity, not noticing the soap dish which is now shockingly devoid of her bling.
Outside, Shiv slips on the ring and calls Henry, but her call goes straight to voicemail. Inside, Bridget returns to the bathroom and finds the ring gone. She gasps and fiddles with the drain stopper. Her phone rings. It's the doorman, announcing the caterers have arrived. Bridget asks him to find her a plumber.
Party, Night: Andrew compliments Bridget, but notices she's not wearing her ring. She lies that she took it to get resized. "It fell off again, today. I should have taken it yesterday." Why lie about the resizing, Bridget? No one complicates your life more than you do, honey. Not even your sister.
In Juliet's room, Andrea peeks out the door and confirms that Mr. Carpenter is there. Andrea is still counseling Juliet to tell her parents what happened. Juliet says she has done a lot of crappy stuff and doesn't want to screw things up with them. She talks about the trouble between her and Shiv, and then gets to utter yet another episode title (is anyone keeping count): "It just got normal." She wants it to stay that way. Andrew pops his head on and tells Juliet to hustle and get out to the party.
After the girls have spent a little while at the party, Andrea suggests they congratulate Shiv and disappear, but Juliet says it's not the right time. What it is the right time for, is grabbing someone else's half-consumed Martini and swilling. When Andrea gives Juliet a look, Juliet says, "Don't judge. Support. It's the only way I'll get through tonight."
Tool Belt barges in, grabs Bridget by the arm and starts talking to her like she's Shiv, because he thinks she is. He is loud and inappropriate as he tells her he doesn't want to see or talk to her again. "You stay out of my life." Jeffrey and Greer watch with wide eyes. As Juliet and Andrea pour themselves some champagne, we cut to the...
Terrace: Bridget is just wrapping herself in a pashmina when Greer comes out and asks if she's okay. Greer finds a second pashmina just lying on one of the chairs. It coincidentally matches her dress. Now that's some darned find party planning, B! Did the invites go out with pashmina swatches? They talk about Henry seeming upset. When Greer asks "Shiv" if she's still with Tool Belt, Bridget says she ended it. Greer: "Did Andrew find out?" Bridget: "No. Greer, I know I have no right to ask you this, but I..." Greer: "If I didn't say anything after that weekend, I'm not going to, now." Greer says that finding out about the affair not only ruined the friendship between the two of them, it made it impossible to be friends with Gemma. "I couldn't look her in the eye, after that." Bridget understands and apologizes. Greer throws her a bone, saying it's been great to work together on this party. Bridget asks about the flowers Greer brought her at dinner. Greer: "I was just being a bitch. I couldn't believe that you actually said yes to dinner and I wanted to throw you off your game." She can't look at peonies without thinking about "that" weekend. "They were all over the hotel, remember? Hotel Pivoine." Bridget flashes back on the envelope in NA Charlie's apartment. Greer continues: "You know, I go to Boston all the time and I don't go anywhere near that hotel anymore."
Back inside the party, Juliet is three sheets to the wind, so when she spots Mr. Carpenter chatting up an attractive woman, she yells across the room, "Are you sure she's young enough for you...'cause I know your type and she's not it." Andrea tries to stop Juliet, but Juliet slaps her off. Logan approaches and suggests they talk. When he reaches for her arm, she swings away from him. In the process, she knocks a bunch of things off a table. "Don't touch me!" Andrew swoops in, tells Andrea to go home and banishes Juliet to her room.
Bridget knocks on Juliet's door before she enters. When Juliet starts to apologize for ruining the party, Bridget tells her she doesn't care about that. She knows something is going on. "Please try and talk to me." When Juliet doesn't say anything, Bridget brings up Juliet's reaction the other day, when Mr. Carpenter's name came up. Juliet sits up. Her eyes are full of tears. Bridget: "Did something happen between you two?" Juliet presses her lips together and nods.
Cut back to the party. Buffy (no, it's not Bridget, it's Buffy, m'kay) strides over to Logan. "Carpenter?" When he turns to face her, she gives him a right hook to the face and he falls to the floor! And while I love me some Jason Dohring and some Logan Echolls (and so far, Carpenter is okay, although I don't yet know his game), I have been waiting years for some woman, particularly a tiny blonde, to deck him like that. Go Buffy! Commercial.
After the break, Logan rises to his feet and asks Bridget what her problem is. Bridget orders him out of her house and then, I am afraid, foreshadows his fate. "If you come near my step-daughter again, I will kill you." Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think Bridget is going to kill Logan, but that was an awfully public threat on a very twisty show. I will not be surprised if Logan bites it and Bridget-as-Shiv becomes the prime suspect.
Anyhow, Juliet is frozen as she looks on. When Logan spots her in the doorway, he says, "Juliet, what is she talking about?" Juliet looks around the room in horror. Bridget yells at Logan, "Get out, now." Andrew turns to his "wife": "What the hell is going on?"
Later, Andrew and Bridget enter Juliet's room. Juliet can't believe "Shiv" did "that" in front of all those people. Bridget apologizes profusely and says she was just so angry she couldn't see straight. Juliet: "No kidding. Just get out." When Bridget leaves Andrew alone with Juliet, she asks him to leave her alone, too. He hesitates as he walks out the door, closing it behind him.
East Hampton, Day: Agent Guyliner asks a waitress about NA Charlie/John. He shows her pictures of John and Bridget and asks if she remembers seeing them together, back in September. The waitress says, "They were in here once, but not in September. May." Guyliner says Bridget was back in Wyoming in May, and asks the waitress if she's sure. Waitress: "I'm positive. It was on my birthday. She was a bitch -- waved me down every two seconds and then stiffed me on the tip." When Guyliner asks if she remembers anything else, the waitress says, "The guy said her name once, and she shut him down quick. He called her something weird. I never heard it before." Ha. Guyliner: "Did he call her Siobhan?" The waitress's eyes light up. "That's it. What kind of a name is that?" Hee. (It's Irish for Joan.)
Park Ave: Bridget does a web search on the Hotel Pivoine. The one in Boston is closed for renovations, but on the website, there's link to its sister hotel -- the Paris Pivoine. When Andrew arrives home, Bridget shuts the laptop and asks how things went at the police station. Andrew begs off the topic for now and says he wants to speak with Juliet. Bridget apologizes for decking Carpenter. She just felt protective. Andrew's expression softens. "Like a mother would. I'm not angry at you, Siobhan. I'm the one who failed her. I should have seen what was going on." Bridget reminds him Juliet was trying to keep it secret, but he reminds her he couldn't even see something was amiss. Bridget promises him they'll get through this as a family. Andrew's eyes are a million miles away as he holds Bridget in his arms.
Gramercy Park: Siobhan shows up at Tool Belt's house. She wearing the scarf she swiped from Park Ave. She apologizes for acting like a different person, and for yesterday, the day before and the last few months. "And Gemma. Henry, if I could change any of it -- take it back, I would. I miss you so much." Henry: "That's funny, because yesterday, you wanted nothing to do with me." Shiv is desperate as she tells him, "It wasn't supposed to be like this, but I'm going to fix it, I promise." Tool Belt says she's in charge, but she needs to choose him or Andrew. When she insists she loves him, Henry says, "Let's say that that's the truth, that you really love me -- then I want to know one thing, because it's not the same person who is standing in front of me right now. Tell me. Who the hell are you?" Nooooooo! If Tool Belt figures out what's going on first, I'm going to have to find him a new nickname.
I'll be back week with coverage of episode 1-12. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread, but please don't steal our jewelry.