I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving and/or week off from the show. My husband, kids, mother and I went Disney World -- a first for all of us. While in sunny Florida, we also had a lovely Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's house. We just got back Monday night. It was a fantastic trip, and I've never been so tired in my life, so this is going to be a quick and dirty recaplet of this crazy "mid-season finale." I'll hit all the details in tomorrow's weecap, okay? Okay.
Our show is fully behind my quick and dirty plan, because just minutes in, Andrew and Bridget hit the sheets for what must be their first time. Andrew has filled his Park Ave. home with white roses and strewn petals all about the place, too, because he's just that perfect. He and "Shiv" will be celebrating their six year anniversary. When he asks Bridget if she can believe it's been six years, she cracks that it feels more like six weeks. Heh. Don't lose your sense of humor, B.
When last we met, Malcolm broke into NA Charlie/John's real house -- the one in which he was holding Gemma prisoner. Remember? While there, Mal snagged a cell phone. In this episode, he charges it up only to find it's not John's, but Gemma Butler's. John knows Bridget and Malcolm are onto him, so he calls Siobhan (who is in Paris trying to make nice with boy-toy/sugar daddy/pawn Tyler, and has blackened her own eye in a failed attempt to win Ty's sympathy) and tells her he's going to get rid of Gemma. Shiv, surprisingly, is not down with this plan, but since she can't immediately come up with the funds to pay John double what she promised him, he says he's doing things his way.
Malcolm convinces Bridget that they need to notify the police about Gemma's phone. They do, and the cops search John's real house, but he's already moved Gemma. Since John is an ex-cop, and Malcolm has only been clean for about six days, the cops are more inclined to believe John's lies. Bridget goes to Henry, to update him on what they know about Gemma. Henry tells "Shiv" that she's making matters worse. She should just stay out of it, and let the cops do their job.
At school, Juliet is still mooning over Mr. "Logan" Carpenter. When my cable feed goes all pixelated during one of his scenes, I swear I am so not paying my bill, this month. Anyhow, their story ends with Juliet telling a friend Logan raped her. What?
Meanwhile Agent Guyliner returns to Why-Oh-Why Wyoming, because another one of his sources, Bridget's stripper-friend, Mary Curtis (Amber Benson, who played Tara, on Buffy), has been offed. Poor girl is always getting shot by someone. In a flashback, Tara tells Guyliner that Macawi has an inside man on the police force. His code name? The Matador. [I'm a comfortador, also. --Xander] Guyliner confides this to Officer Jimmy who -- remember -- has connections to John and Siobhan. Officer Jimmy is, of course, the Matador. Oh, the cheese!
Bridget returns to Park Ave. to find John having tea with Andrew (I wanna have tea with Andrew). Once Andrew is gone, John tells Bridget that if she comes up with some dough, he'll return Gemma, unharmed. Bridget enlists Andrew's help. They arrive at Penn Station to make the money drop, but Henry's been not following his own advice and has involved the cops. John recognizes the cops on the scene. He shoots Gemma, who he has been keeping in the trunk of his car, and takes her body to a storage place, but when he opens the trunk, Gemma isn't dead. She pops up, knocks him over the head, and disses his aim, but in the end, he shoots her again.
But wait. It gets crazier. Real Siobhan (who must have had Willow cast a teleportation spell and a John-locator spell) shows up in New York and shoots John. When she's taking a cab ride away from the scene of the crime, like you do, she gets a call from Tyler. He paid her hotel bill and cleaned her things out of the room, including the positive pregnancy test.
Bridget and Mal go to John's fake apartment to get Mal's stuff. While there, they find an envelope bearing Siobhan's name and an address -- in France. Bridget is sure there is more going on, here. Gee, ya think?
I'll be back with the full weecap, tomorrow. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the show thread. Andrew has left a trail of rose petals to mark your path.