Tommy drives his truck down his street, and realizes that there are a bunch of fire trucks and other emergency vehicles parked in front of his house. He stops the truck and runs over to Janet's house, which is on fire. Chief runs out and grabs Tommy, pushing him back from the house. Chief says that they brought Tommy's kids over to the ambulance, and that they're all right. Once Chief gets Tommy back near the ambulance, he admits that the kids are dead, and that Janet is too, because "nobody helped them." He adds that it was an arsonist. Chief and another firefighter are unable to restrain Tommy, who runs over to the police car, where the arsonist is sitting in the back seat. The cop tries to restrain Tommy, but Tommy pounds on the window and yells at the arsonist to look at him. The arsonist pulls down the hood on his sweatshirt and...it's Tommy! Which was not really that shocking.
Also not shocking? That the whole first scene was a dream. Tommy wakes up in the firehouse as the alarm goes off. Franco asks Mike if this is his first "West side highway call," and explains that they get a lot of them. Tommy explains that kids from Jersey come to Manhattan to go to the clubs, and then drive home at top speed to try to make curfew. Mike asks why they don't put cops out there. Franco says you can't keep kids from doing what they want, and Tommy adds that it "keep the population of Jersey in check, which I think we're all in favor of." Bill walks by, laughing uproariously. Franco tells him that it wasn't that funny, and Bill says that he was laughing about something else. Bill? Losing it.
In the truck on the way to the accident, Garrity asks Chief if he read about the guy in the paper. Chief thinks he's talking about the guy in Queens who ate his in-laws. Garrity says that some guy from another house retired and came out of the closet, and says that there's "a secret society within the brotherhood of the FDNY" and that "twenty guys that died on 9/11...were gay." Lou wonders how you prove that twenty of the dead firefighters were gay. Tommy says that you look at a poster of all the dead firefighters and pick the twenty best-looking guys. Tommy's theory is that the gay guys always claim that "handsome sons of bitches" like "Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt" are gay, but they never want to claim "Donald Trump or Dennis Franz or Jim Belushi." Clueless Mike asks, "Donald Trump's gay?" Everyone just looks at him, and Tommy deadpans, "Get out of the truck."
The trucks arrive at the accident scene, where another crew is extinguishing the car fire. As they exit the truck, Franco comments to Tommy that he read somewhere that 10% of the population is gay, which would mean that at least one member of their crew is gay. The crew stops and watches as a screaming teen girl exits the burning car, crying for someone to help. Chief orders Tommy to go check it out. Tommy gets closer and sees the driver of the car, a young girl, who has been propelled through the windshield. She's also got a piece of rebar through her midsection. As Tommy walks up, the girl lifts her head and says in a terrified voice, "I want to go home." Chief walks up and Tommy looks back at the girl to see that she's dead, and has been dead all along.
Behind the fire truck, Tommy takes a swig from a liquor bottle. He might want to think about investing in a flask. Franco walks up and asks if he's okay. Tommy lies that he feels a cold coming on, and that he's using the "Irish remedy." Franco pretends he believes that and walks away. Tommy looks busted and puts the bottle back into his compartment in the truck, and then leans against the truck and stares into space.
In the firehouse, Chief is disgusted as he reads the Post story about the gay firefighter, complaining that the guy didn't even think about all the widows and children he's hurt by his allegations. Lou still can't figure out how the guy knew that there were other gay firefighters, and wonders if there was a secret handshake. Chief says he's never known a gay firefighter in twenty years on the squad. Wow, I can't imagine why a gay firefighter might hide his orientation from people like Chief, especially given what transpires later in this episode. Garrity suggests that maybe the alleged gays weren't actually gay, but instead "dressed nice and were well groomed and into fashion." You'd think Garrity would have learned by now to just not talk. Lou, Franco, Chief, and Tommy are all confused. Garrity explains that the alleged gay guys might have been metrosexuals. Ah, the summer of 2004. I remember you. Although I think that term was pretty played even then. Tommy says that his younger daughter used that word last week. Chief asks, "What in the sweet chocolate Christ is a metrosexual?" Huh. No matter how played out a term it is, it's still not in my Word dictionary. Right-click and add. I'm going to need that with this episode.
Probie tries to explain that it refers to someone who isn't gay but does things that might be considered gay. Garrity says that the probie has it all wrong, and that it really means "a straight guy who also happens to like shopping and, and get facials and stuff." Tommy swallows hard; the other guys are still very confused. Garrity says that Franco must know what it is, and Franco says, "Uh, that would be a huge goddamn no." Oh, come on. Franco is totally a metrosexual. Mostly due to the pretty. Probie tries to help by saying that it's "straight, regular guys who get face lifts and bikini waxes." Garrity adds that they're male bikini waxes. Chief has heard enough and yells, "Nobody in this firehouse goes shopping anymore, unless it's for underwear, or boots, or a pair of goddamn gloves. And nobody, and I mean nobody, goes and gets a facial unless that means putting water on your face to clean it up after you catch a job. And the word 'metrosexual' from this point on is banned from these quarters." Chief nods, pleased with himself, and storms out. My spellcheck is happy as well.
Lou asks what a male bikini wax is, and Garrity says that it's when they take the hair off your scrotum. Franco asks how and Lou asks why. Probie says that chicks dig it, and Garrity adds that they apply hot wax and "yank it off and the ball hair comes with it, along with the pubic hair." This may be naïve of me to say, but isn't ball hair the same as pubic hair? No, I don't want to know. Seriously. I don't. Tommy chuckles and jokes that he had that procedure done, back in the '70s, by the Sisters of St. Mary. He points at Garrity and Probie and tells them, "You ladies better shut this shit down."
Tommy walks up to his front door and finds a note from Janet saying that they need to talk, and that it's urgent. He walks over to her house, where she's arranging flowers in the kitchen. She asks if Connor's lunchbox is at his house, because she can't find it and he's already lost two others this year. Tommy can't believe this is the urgent issue they had to discuss. Janet apologizes and says that it's making her crazy, and that she thinks Connor is doing it on purpose to get back at her for their separation. She's thinking of calling a therapist, and Tommy asks, "For him or for you?" They both chuckle, but the moment is interrupted by Roger's arrival. Tommy suggests that Roger stole the lunchbox, and Janet pretends to laugh.
Roger walks into the kitchen and it's awkward. Janet introduces Roger to Tommy and they shake hands while Tommy glares. Janet leaves to get dressed, and Tommy starts to walk out the door, but Roger wants to make small talk. Tommy gets a look on his face like, "Can you believe this asshole?," but turns around anyway. Roger compliments Tommy on the work he does as a firefighter, and says that he feels like a wuss in his suit and all. Tommy bristles and says that "wuss" isn't the word he would've picked, but that it'll do. Tommy tries to leave again, but Roger pulls out his checkbook to make a donation to the Widows and Orphans Fund. I always thought that was a made-up fund for firefighters to use for taking bribes and such. Roger hands Tommy a check. Tommy thanks him and then asks quietly if Roger is in love with Janet. Roger stammers and says he doesn’t know how to respond. Tommy smiles and says that's all he wanted to hear, and then leaves. In the driveway, Tommy walks by Roger's Porsche and looks at the check, which is for $100. Tommy calls Roger a cheap prick. And, seriously. If he's going to make the big gesture and whip out the checkbook in some sort of dick-measuring contest, he needs to put in at least a grand.
That night, Tommy doles out dinner to his kids while he calls his cop brother, John, played by Dean Winters. I do love that Ryan O'Reily. John reports that he checked Roger's credit report: he makes $2 million a year, and just made a down payment on a three-bedroom house in San Jose. John also found out that Roger has two DWIs from ten years earlier, in addition to a public lewdness charge. Tommy asks what the last charge means, and John says it could be anything from gay sex in the park to a blowjob in a car, but because Roger pled down, the details aren't available. They speculate on whether or not Roger is gay, and if so, what he's doing with Janet. John gets another call, from Jimmy's teenaged son, Damien, who reports that he sent a virus to Roger's office computer, and also shut down his credit and debit cards, preventing him from getting cash for at least a day. John swigs some Pepto Bismol and voices his approval, and then goes back to his call with Tommy and reports Damien's activities. Tommy tells John to keep digging; John promises to, and asks Tommy to call their father.
Tommy hangs up and Jimmy is there. He disapproves that Tommy is using Jimmy's son to do the dirty work. Tommy defends his actions by explaining that his wife is thinking of moving to California with their kids, so he has to check it out. Jimmy asks how Damien's doing. Tommy says swiftly that Damien's a geek as he sets out two glasses and gets out a bottle of something. Aren't his kids going to wonder why he has two glasses? And won't they notice that he's drinking when he's supposed to be sober and all? Tommy says that another dead person talked to him last night. Jimmy notes, "So this starting-to-drink-again thing is really working out well for you, huh?" Tommy laughs sarcastically. Jimmy asks what she wanted, and Tommy says she wanted to go home. Jimmy tells her to join the club, and Tommy asks what that means. Jimmy wonders if he's really supposed to spend eternity arguing with Tommy and listening to Tommy's secret evil plans to recapture his wife and kids. Tommy thinks it might be. Jimmy suggests that he's a figment of Tommy's imagination. Tommy says that if that were true, Jimmy would be helping him to solve the problem. Jimmy asks if he means his wife problem, his drinking problem, or his ghost problem.
Tommy's younger daughter comes in and complains about her siblings, and Tommy yells at his other kids from the kitchen. Once she's gone, Jimmy tells Tommy that he'll try to help out, but that he wants Tommy to check on Sheila, his wife, and make sure she's not dating anyone. Tommy wonders why Jimmy can't just fly over ten blocks and materialize in Sheila's living room. Jimmy says he just can't. Tommy agrees to check in with Sheila, but he needs Jimmy to keep an eye on Janet's house.
The phone rings. It's the Chief. He tells Tommy that he found out the gay guy is named Bobby Teff, and wonders if Tommy knows what company he retired out of. Tommy thinks the name sounds familiar, and says that he was in Mikey Brown's crew, and was a pain in the ass. Chief wants Tommy to get some information, because he just wants to have a talk with him. Tommy wonders why gay people are suddenly everywhere, and brings up same-sex marriage. Chief says, "Same-sex marriage? Hey, right now I'd settle for a some-sex marriage." Tommy chuckles and hangs up.
The day, Tommy parks his truck outside of Sheila's house, and peers through the window in the door. He spies Sheila sitting at the kitchen table, and he's about to knock, when another woman comes into view and puts her hand on Sheila's shoulder. Sheila turns and smiles, and the scene seems quite intimate. The woman starts giving Sheila a neck rub. Tommy's seen enough, so he turns and walks back to his truck.
Roger's in his office, schmoozing some guy on the phone. He hangs up and turns to his computer, where he finds a demon laughing at him. He walks out to report it to his secretary, who informs him that it's on everyone's computer, and that the tech guys said it's a virus. Roger wonders why it's happening to them, and his secretary suggests that it's aimed at Roger, since the demon is now wearing a name tag with Roger's name on it.
In the firehouse, Garrity calls Franco over and asks if he looks different. Probie stands nearby, grinning. Franco is annoyed and says he doesn't see anything. Probie reveals that Garrity got "a ball wax." Garrity explains that he was talking about it with "this chick [he's] been banging" and she said it made sex better, so he got out the Yellow Pages and found a place. Franco asks, "So, this place. Did you find it under 'ball' or 'wax'?" Probie giggles and says it's called Invincible, and that it's an all-male spa. Franco doesn't seem impressed, and asks how it feels. Garrity says it hurt, but now he feels free. Franco points out that Garrity is "itching [his] teabag every ten seconds." Garrity denies it while scratching his...teabag. Franco smirks and walks away. Probie urges Garrity to cut it out, and Garrity goes in for a deeper scratch while he says that he can't.
The guys arrive at a fire. A cop pulls Chief aside and says that everyone has been accounted for except an older couple on the second floor and a guy who lives alone on the third floor. Chief orders Franco and Probie to head for the third floor while Tommy, Billy, and Lou go to the second. The guys head inside while Chief radios that there is smoke coming out of the both floors.
The guys head up the stairs. On the second floor, Tommy enters an apartment and finds an older man blockading an interior door with some boards and nails. He tells the firefighters that they can go, because everything's fine and he was just making toast. Tommy tells Lou, "Well, this is interesting." Up on the third floor, Franco and Probie prepare to check all the apartments. Probie struggles to open a door, and when he gets it open, he finds a guy unconscious on the other side.
Lou starts questioning the old man about why he barricaded the door: "Did you do this to keep the toast on the other side? Did it become violent when you burned it? Help us out here." Billy uses a crowbar to start removing the boards, and the old man tells him that he can't go in there yet. Tommy says that they have to go in there, because there's a missing woman involved. The old man says that she's not missing, because he left her on the couch, soaked in kerosene. He adds that he put up with her yapping for forty-two years, but today he decided it had to stop. Garrity and Billy remove the final board and open the door.
Upstairs, Probie struggles to drag the unconscious guy out of the apartment. Probie carries the guy on his back toward the stairs.
Billy uses an extinguisher to put out the fire, and the men all exclaim over how disgusting this is. Tommy says, "Yeah, I'm not going to be ordering the crispy beef from the Chinese place any time soon." Franco stops in and asks what's going on. Lou explains, "Well, this is the husband. This is the wood he used to barricade the door, to stop us from rescuing his wife, who was inside on fire. And this is what gay couples who insist on getting married have to look forward to." Franco just shakes his head.
Outside, the cop escorts the old man down the stairs as the old man repeats, "No more yapping!" Tommy smokes, and Franco walks up and says that he thought Tommy quit. Tommy says, "Right now, it's not a cigarette; it's a flotation device." Franco agrees and bums one. Lou asks the cop if he knows what the old couple was arguing about, and the cop says it was about "wet socks on the bed." Well, she was clearly right. Who would put wet socks anywhere and think that was acceptable? Chief tells the assembled firefighters that "marriage is a beast" that has "claws and nails and teeth that grow longer and sharper every day." He adds that you can't fight back or "the beast will snap your spine in two piece" so you give in, and "sit in front of the tube, sipping a beer, hoping and praying that she'll fall asleep first, or that you'll die of a truly sudden and massive heart attack." Dude. Get some Prozac. That's no way to live. And I also hate the implication that these men are trapped in loveless marriages, like, why don't they try cooking dinner or washing their own shit-stained underwear once in a while and see how that goes. Lou deadpans that he can't wait to get home to the little missus tonight.
Franco points out that Probie got "his first grab." Tommy asks if the rescued man was married or single, and Probie says he was single. Tommy thinks Probie did him a favor. Yeah, Tommy hates marriage so much that he spends every waking moment dreaming up ways to get his wife back. Garrity is still scratching his balls, and Tommy notices and asks if Garrity is allergic to his pants. Garrity says no, and Franco starts laughing. Garrity admits to Probie that it's starting to sting now. Tommy finds Chief and says that he talked to Mikey Brown and found out that Teff, the gay firefighter, hangs out a bar called Hathaway's. Tommy tells Chief to be careful.
Tommy strolls through the grocery store but stops short when he sees Sheila and her lady friend giggling in one of the aisles. He hides behind an endcap and spies on them until a clerk comes up and asks if he needs help. The clerk explains that he goes to school with Colleen, Tommy's older daughter, and that Tommy looked like he needed something. Tommy, trying to get rid of the guy, grabs the first thing he can find on the shelf, which happens to be a box of tampons. They both look embarrassed, until the clerk says that "a lot of women like the ones with wings better." That line was clearly written by a man, because tampons don't have wings, so that doesn't even make sense. Tommy says that Colleen likes the kind he got and walks off, noticing that Sheila and her friend are gone.
But when Tommy gets to the aisle, he nearly runs right into them, so he turns around and pretends to be very interested in a display of Metamucil. He tries to watch Sheila while returning a can to the display, and ends up knocking the whole thing over, noisily. Sheila turns and sees Tommy, then calls out to him. She helps him pick up the Metamucil, and Tommy says it's for his mom. Then he gestures to the tampons and says, "These aren't." Heh. Sheila introduces Tommy to her friend, Lisa, explaining that Tommy is Jimmy's cousin. Tommy just stares at them awkwardly and tries to make small talk by suggesting that they should get together and have dinner. Sheila seems taken aback, and Tommy says that all three of them could go. Sheila, who has no social graces, asks why he would want Lisa to go too. Tommy tries to back out of it, and Lisa says that it might be better if Tommy and Sheila went alone, to catch up. I'm glad someone in this group has social skills. Sheila tells Tommy to call her, and Tommy says goodbye. Lisa gives him a final look, but I'm not sure what that was about, and neither does Tommy. He tries to put the Metamucil and tampons back, but knocks everything over again.
Roger's office. Roger stomps in and yells at his secretary that his credit cards were declined at lunch, making him look like an idiot in front of his clients. He orders the secretary to call the bank and find out what's going on, and then stomps into his office. What a dillweed.
Funeral mass for the dead girl Tommy talked to at the accident scene. Does every church have that same wood sign with the plastic numbers they slide in to indicate which page to look at in your hymnal? I've been to various churches in my day, and they all have that same sign. Is there a catalog for church accessories? Is there a lot of competition in that market, or does everyone order from the same place? Do they have online shopping? I'm suddenly fascinated by this niche market. Anyway. Tommy walks into the church and takes a seat near the back. The dead girl sits behind him and asks what he's doing there. Tommy sees one of the girl's relatives totally losing it, and walks out.
Tommy arrives home and sees Jimmy sitting on the stoop. Jimmy says he was getting some air and thinking about Sheila. Tommy reluctantly admits that he ran into her at the store. Jimmy is eager for information, and Tommy says that Sheila was "with this kind of dykey-looking chick" who she introduced as her friend, but paused before saying "my friend." Jimmy wants details. Tommy says that the friend kept giving him weird looks, and that her handshake lasted too long. Tommy concludes, "It was troubling," and starts to walk in the house. Jimmy thinks it might be nothing, and Tommy says, "Yeah," although he's clearly thinking, "Yeah, I doubt it." Also, you could totally see Jimmy's "missing" finger in that scene, so they might want to watch that.
Chief walks into Hathaway's, the bar Tommy told him about. He takes a seat at the bar and a guy named Vinny sits to him and introduces himself. He asks if Chief is looking for someone; Chief says he isn't, and then orders a draft. Vinny asks if Chief is a fireman, and if he's a friend of Bobby Teff's. Chief says he was a comrade. Vinny remarks, "Good old Tefflon. Nothing sticks to him." Chief chuckles along. Vinny asks if Chief was there when Teff swung off a roof on a rope and grabbed a guy. Chief says it wasn't Teff who did that, but Vinny disagrees, and says that Chief can asks Teff himself, because he usually comes in about now. Chief lights a cigar, and Vinny takes off. The bartender tells Chief that he can't smoke in there, and Chief suggests that he call the fire department.
Jimmy grills on Tommy's patio as Tommy walks out and says that Jimmy should be happy that his wife's a lesbian: "What would you prefer, her sucking on a couple of tits or her hanging around with some hungry, horny, hopped-up-on-Viagra shithead who's got two secret gym bags full of DVD porn?" Jimmy concedes the point. Tommy claims that he's pro-lesbian, and that he wishes his daughters were both lesbians. Tommy also thinks that gay guys have it made because they're both guys, so they both like sex and sports: "It's all blowjobs and ballgames." Jimmy thinks that all long-term relationships are the same; they all end in "burning, mutual resentment" with "ongoing arguments about the division of household labor and secret, evil plans to piss each other off."
Bobby Teff swaggers into Hathaway's, where Chief has clearly been waiting for a while. Chief checks his paper to make sure it's the right guy, then walks up and introduces himself. He asks Teff to think before he shoots his mouth off, because the dead firemen's "kids, widows, and parents...don't need to read that garbage." Teff turns his back and asks the bartender for a drink. Chief protests this treatment, and Teff says that he isn't "a chubby chaser" and asks Chief to leave. Teff adds that he told the truth. Chief reminds him about the children and parents of the deceased, and Teff reminds him that the deceased also had lovers. Chief doesn't like to hear that, and Teff says, "Listen, old man. Unless you want your fat ass kicked by a faggot..." Teff shoves Chief, who shoves right back, and they start fighting. Teff shoves Chief to the floor and turns back to the bar, thinking the matter is over. Chief gets up and sucker-punches Teff in the kidney, then in the face, and then slams Teff's head against the bar a few times for good measure. Chief throws Teff to the floor and starts kicking him in the ribs before the other patrons intervene. Chief is dragged out the door, issuing threats to Teff the whole time. Someone yells at the bartender to call an ambulance as Chief is thrown out the door.
At the firehouse, Probie bursts into the kitchen with some supplies for a clearly-in-pain Garrity. He got powder, medicated spray, and...cooking spray. Garrity takes the power and starts dumping it down his pants, making a huge mess. He waits a moment, and then reports that it's not helping. He goes for one of the sprays . This one works, and he starts groaning with pleasure while Probie giggles. Lou walks in and witnesses Garrity spraying something into his pants and groaning. Lou slowly walks over to the counter and asks, "Is that cocaine?" Probie and Garrity immediately say no and Lou replies, "Good. Because if it was, you're doing it wrong." Garrity waits a minute, and then continues spraying away.
Tommy asks Chief if he beat the shit out of Bobby Teff last night. Chief asks who said that. Tommy lists off a couple of names and says that everyone is talking about it. Chief wonders how everyone found out. Tommy advises him not to give out his house number and name right before beating the shit out of somebody. Chief says he only meant to talk to the guy, but that Teff ended up being a prick, and now he went to the cops. Tommy says Teff gave up Chief's name right before they had to put him into a medically-induced coma. Tommy promises to keep Chief up-to-date, and advises him to lie low.
Tommy pulls into his driveway just as Janet is pulling into hers. He goes over to offer her a hand with her groceries, and she refuses. Tommy picks a fight instead. Janet asks if he found Connor's lunchbox, and Tommy says he hasn't looked, because he's been preoccupied with the thought of his family moving to California. Janet says she's just exploring their options. Tommy points out that any judge would require that she keep the kids within a reasonable distance of Tommy, so she might as well give up on her "pipe dream." Janet says she needs to get away: "Every other house on the block has a dead hero dad. Every other kid at school has lost a father or an uncle. And you know what's worse than the guys that died that day? The rest of you, walking around like everything's fine, when you're dead inside." Tommy snaps that they've talked about this, and that he can't fix what happened to him by going to a shrink or a spa. He adds that she knew his job when she married him. Janet says she's sick of it, and that she wants her kids to have a normal life. Tommy yells that she asked to stay home, so he took two side jobs to make that happen, and then she was upset that he was never home. They start screaming over each other. Janet yells that even when Tommy was home, he wasn't home, and that she raised their three kids by herself. They both retreat, seething. Janet says that she'll do whatever she has to do to take care of her kids. Tommy promises to fight her in court, and Janet tells him that that the court always sides with the mother. Tommy gets right in her face and points a finger, and she tells him not to threaten her. Tommy says with quiet anger, "If I want to threaten you, I will, okay? You start a shitstorm about my kids with me, you take them anywhere you want, I will hunt you down and I will find you. Four corners of the earth, I will find you and I will take those kids back. That's not a threat. That's a goddamn promise, bitch." Tommy walks across the street to his own house. Fine acting by both people in that scene, but I felt the final "bitch" was gratuitous and unnecessary, because up to that point, Tommy was kind of sympathetic in a fucked-up way. And I didn't think that a guy like Tommy would call the mother of his children a bitch. But maybe that's the point -- that he's so unhinged and angry that he's losing it.
Tommy storms into his house. He opens a cabinet, and takes out a child's lunchbox. He opens the oven, and takes out two more. He sets them all on the counter. Then he reaches in the drawer for a hammer. Who keeps a hammer in a kitchen drawer? Then again, who keeps a plastic lunchbox in the stove? Every time I keep a pizza box in the stove, I accidentally turn it on a day later and can't figure out what's burning. Tommy grabs the hammer and whacks the shit out of the lunchboxes until they have shattered into small pieces. He tosses the hammer on the counter as the camera pans over to reveal Connor's name written on one of the lunchboxes.
Probie walks out of the house, his shift over. A guy is waiting for him. He runs up and introduces himself as Andrew, the guy Probie saved in the fire. Andrew presents Probie with a bottle of Dom Perignon to thank Probie for saving his life. They shake hands, and Andrew compliments Probie's soft hands. Probie looks uncomfortable as Andrew goes on about Probie's soft yet strong hands. Andrew concludes, "You saved my life." Probie says he's just doing his job. Andrew starts crying and says that his mom died last April and that he's been thinking about it a lot. Probie says he's sorry, and Andrew asks if he can take Probie out to dinner. Probie says he can't tonight, and Andrew apologizes for bothering him. Probie feels bad, and suggests lunch. Andrew thanks Probie again and hugs him, and then holds on a little too long before walking off.
Tommy sits in his truck, drinking, and places a call to Janet. She wakes up and answers the phone. He asks if Roger is there, and she sighs that she's in bed. Tommy says he's been thinking about it, and wonders if they can't come to some kind of agreement on "this California thing." Tommy asks her to pick a place that's closer, and he promises to help her out financially. Janet asks if he's been drinking. Tommy says he's driving, and Janet says that he sounds drunk. Tommy says, "Yeah, yeah, I'm drunk. I'm drinking and I'm driving, and I just smoked some crack and I'm getting ready to roll a nice, big, fat joint." Janet misses that little speech because she hangs up on him. Tommy grunts in frustration and then says she's lucky he's not kidnapping his own kids. He pulls a phone number out of his pocket and dials it. A blonde answers the phone, and he explains that it's Tommy, the firefighter. She smiles that she thought he lost her number. Tommy says that he's been busy, but that he just got off work and he's wired, so he thought he'd call. Blondie says it's late, and Tommy apologizes and says he'll call the day. Tommy starts making up some story about a horrible fire they had tonight in the Projects, where they saved everyone. He adds that it was "such an evil thing" that he "wanted to think of something sweet," so he called her. Blondie giggles, and I don't know where in the hell she lives, but it's completely dark where Tommy is, and Janet was in bed, yet there's a shaft of sunlight coming through Blondie's window.
Cut to Tommy and Blondie going at it in her apartment. They start doing it doggy-style. Tommy glances at the TV and sees the girl from the car accident, who turns and tells him, "I want to go home." This flows into a montage: Teff in a coma in the hospital; Sheila looking through photo albums, crying, and downing some pills; Chief watching television alone; Janet in bed with Roger looking unhappy; and Tommy putting on his clothes in Blondie's apartment. He leaves while she's still sleeping.