This program may contain scenes of violence, strong language, adult situations, and nudity and therefore may be unsuitable for children under seventeen. Viewer discretion is advised. I know when I see that warning, all I can think is, "Hell, yeah! Bring it ooooooon!"
Tommy Gavin (I'm not going to pretend not to know the character names) walks into his bathroom, which is fairly grimy and features some God-awful teal and turquoise tile. It's kind of funny that the first time you see Tommy, he's about to pee, since Glark is so obsessed with Denis Leary's pee-colored hair. ["Not just Glark. Denis Leary's hair is the exact colour of morning urine! It's freaky!" -- Wing Chun] As Tommy prepares to do his business, smoke starts coming out of the showerhead behind him. Smoke fills the toilet bowl. Smoke comes out of the sink. Smoke comes out of the heat vent. Tommy starts coughing, and tries to open the door of the now smoke-filled room, which is locked. He yells at someone to check the bathroom.
Tommy wakes with a start on his couch. He lets go a nice smoker's cough. He makes his way to the kitchen and swigs some orange juice from the container.
Cut to Tommy addressing a probie class of firefighters, who are all standing at attention in front of the Manhattan skyline. I'm just going to transcribe this speech, which I won't do that often, but it really sets the tone. Plus, there's not much more to the scene than the speech, and why describe what he's saying when I could just transcribe it? Tommy says, "You want to know how big my balls are? My balls are bigger than two of your heads duct-taped together. I've been in the middle of shit that would make you piss your pants right now. Uptown, downtown, Harlem, Brooklyn. But there ain't no medals on my chest, assholes. 'Cause I ain't no hero. I'm a fireman. We're not in the business of making heroes here. We're in the business of discovering cowards. 'Cause that's what you are if you can't take the heat. You're a pussy. And there ain't no room for pussies in the FDNY."
One of the probies turns and looks at someone behind him, making a face like he's about to crack up. Tommy gets right in the kid's face and asks what he's laughing at, and when the kid tries to answer, Tommy tells him not to speak unless he's spoken to. Um, didn't Tommy just ask him a direct question?
Tommy continues, "You pussies better pray you don't get assigned to my firehouse, because I have seen it all. I knew sixty men who gave their lives at Ground Zero. Sixty! Four of 'em from my house." Tommy turns and gestures to some photos sitting on a table in front of him. "Vito Costello. Found him almost whole. Ricky Davis. Found him almost whole, hugging a civilian woman. Bobby Vincent. Found his head. And my cousin, Jimmy Keefe. My best friend. Know what they found of him? What I was able to bring back, give to his parents? A finger. That's all. A finger. These four men were better human beings and better firefighters than any of you will ever be." The probies looks down, humbled. Tommy walks off without looking back as the instructor orders the class to thank him.
Tommy gets into his truck and sighs. His cousin, Jimmy, is sitting in the passenger seat. Jimmy says that what Tommy said about him was really nice, and then adds that the probies wouldn't think Tommy was so tough if they knew he was talking to a dead guy. Tommy just glares at him. Jimmy asks what they're going to do now, and suggests going home, or perhaps going to the cemetery to stare at Jimmy's headstone again. Tommy shakes his head and starts, "You know what, Jimmy?" When he looks over, the passenger seat is empty. Tommy spits, "Asshole."
Sometimes it's hard to believe that the theme song ("C'mon, C'mon" by the Von Bondies) wasn't written specifically for the show. It's just that perfect.
The firehouse. Tommy walks in and talks to Garrity and Franco about how they are getting their new probie today, and which prank they should pull on him first. Chief Grinch (as the men refer to him) walks through and reminds Tommy that he owes the city a tour, and that if he doesn't take care of it soon, he'll be suspended. Grinch also tells Garrity to get a box from his office and bring it outside. Poor, dumb Garrity is like, "A box?" Grinch responds, "I'm in kind of a rush here. I don't have time to explain what a box is, retard. Just do it!"
After Grinch leaves, Tommy and Franco share a couple of choice epithets about him. Franco says that if the city sends a shrink over, he's going to tell them that Grinch touched him in the shower. Tommy hasn't heard about the shrinks, so Franco explains that a friend from another firehouse told him that the city sent a shrink over to talk to the guys. Tommy doesn't think too highly of that idea: "Know what I'm gonna do? If they send a shrink over here? I'm going to kick his ass." Franco thinks that might raise a red flag at headquarters.
Tommy asks Franco to switch shifts with him, because his ex-wife has a date tonight. Franco can't, because he has a thing. He says that it had better be more successful than the thing he had the night before, when he went out with "the chick with a friend." He adds that it was "goddamned disgraceful," because the chick never showed, so it was just him and the friend, "and the friend had a face like [his] ass, only [his] ass ain't as hairy." Tommy can't believe she had a hairy face. Franco says it wasn't obvious, but when she turned her head, you could see "chick sideburns." Tommy takes a moment from the conversation to tell Garrity, who's walking by with a J.C. Penney shopping bag, "That's not a box." Garrity scoffs and walks back from where he came. Franco continues his story, and says that after dinner and drinks, he made his move, and the friend blew him off. Tommy can't believe that Franco made a move on a chick with sideburns. Franco says, "It's getting slow out there. All that pussy I was getting after 9/11? Now, nothing. People forget." Tommy sympathizes, "Yeah. Sad commentary." He claps Franco on the shoulder and walks off.
Tommy walks over to his locker, and when he opens it, Bobby Vincent's head is inside. He asks, "Hey, Tommy. What's the plan, man?" Tommy looks horrified and slams his locker shut quickly. The Chief walks up and starts complaining to Tommy about the Giants, and how they lost a game because they couldn't score from the four-yard line. He says that he lost a lot of money, so he's decided to find out where the Giants players live, set their houses on fire, and then tell them that he can't put it out because he only brought four yards of hose. Tommy chuckles, and then starts to tell Chief what Grinch said. Chief says that Grinch can "kiss [his] fat, white, Irish ass," and that Tommy should do the opposite of what Grinch told him to do. Tommy asks if he can get someone to cover his shift, because of his wife Janet's date. The Chief is sympathetic, and asks Tommy what the odds are of him and Janet actually breaking up. Tommy glares at him and asks, "There's a pool on my divorce?" The Chief says no, but then says that he'll give Tommy the night off if he gives him the odds. Tommy says it's 60-40 divorce right now. The Chief is psyched, but then apologizes, and thanks Tommy for the info.
Tommy walks back over to his locker and opens it slowly. The head is gone. Garrity sneaks up and scares the shit out of Tommy, who yells at him. Garrity says that Lou is in the can, crying. Tommy is surprised, and Garrity swears on his mother's grave. Tommy reminds him that his mother is still alive. Garrity says, "Well no, I meant when she dies, God forbid. Knock on wood. Shit. Uh, all right. My father's grave. How's that?" Tommy is taken aback to hear that Garrity's father is dead, and Garrity says that it happened years ago, and that it was "ass cancer." Tommy asks about that, and Garrity says, "Yeah, you know. Postrate [sic]?" Tommy stares at him for a second, and then says, "Yeah. Sorry, bro," and walks off.
Tommy finds Lou and asks if he's okay. Lou wipes some tears, and blames it on the onions, explaining that he's helping the probie make his first meal. Tommy gets his first look at their probie, Mike. Tommy complains that there are two many "Mike"s around there, and lists them off with the help of his co-workers: "Polish Mike, Irish Mike, Mike the Mick, Big Mike, Little Mike." Tommy asks if the probie is Jewish, because he could be Mike the Kike. The probie says he's Italian, and Garrity says that they already have a Guinea Mike, as well as a Mike the Wop. Lou declares that the probie shall be known as New Mike, and Tommy agrees. New Mike looks worried and asks what will happen if he's there for ten years. Tommy says it won't be a problem, and orders the kid to get him a coffee.
Tommy notices a list posted on the bulletin board, and reads off names like Liza Minnelli, Geraldo Rivera, and Donald Trump. Lou explains that Billy went in for his first full physical ever, including "a camera up the ass," and that if they find some kind of cancer, he's going to kill everyone on that list. Tommy asks, "In this order? Come on. Liza has to go first, Bill? Hasn't she suffered enough?" Bill just shakes his head. Garrity leans forward and says that the "ass camera" is really important, because his dad wouldn't let them do it, and now he's dead. Garrity asks if the camera was uncomfortable. Bill says, "It wasn't really the camera I minded. It was the crew." Garrity doesn't get it, but Tommy cracks up.
Lou asks Mike if he brought his hepatitis kit back. Mike doesn't know what he's talking about. Tommy says that Mike's class at the academy had an outbreak of Hepatitis B, so Mike needs to leave a urine and stool sample on Chief's desk by the end of the week, or the Chief will be pissed. Mike says that no one told him. Lou and Tommy pretend to be really worried that Mike never got a kit, and Tommy promises to get him one.
The alarm rings, and a woman's voice calls out, "Engine. Ladder. Battalion." Lou complains that the automated system has a woman's voice, calling it "politically correct bullshit." As they all exit, Lou declares, "That voice is the closest thing I'm ever going to come to working with a broad."
The trucks roar down the street. Franco spots a hot chick walking down the street, and Chief says into his radio that they have "a possible Bo Derek." The guys all check her out, and Tommy says that she's more like a Heidi Klum. Chief doesn't know who that is. He clearly hasn't been checking out Project Runway. And he should be.
When they arrive at the fire, some random guy walks by and says that the smell is horrible. Chief tells Tommy, Garrity, and Mike to take Stairway A, and Lou and Franco to take Stairway B. Tommy walks inside and immediately complains about the horrible smell. Garrity asks what it is, and Tommy says with disgust, "It's piss! It's a river of piss. Jesus." Mike asks, "So, there's no fire?" Garrity says that they have to go up, and Tommy agrees that they have to "shoot the rapids." As they start up the stairway, Tommy sees a young African-American boy standing on the landing. He stares, until Billy breaks his reverie and Tommy realizes he was imagining the boy.
Outside on the street, the random guy from earlier complains to Chief that if the building's residents were white, the firefighters would have gotten there in three seconds flat. Chief says that's a technical impossibility. The random guy says that he knows about technology, and that white people don't want to give the technology to the black man. Chief agrees with the guy to get him to shut up. Tommy radios down to say that the river was caused by "fifteen or twenty large jars of piss someone dumped down the stairs." Chief asks if it's human piss. Tommy tells Mike to taste it and tell him if it's human. Mike laughs, but no one else is laughing with him. They just stare, and Tommy says, "Sometime today would be nice."
Chief talks to an older gentleman who admits to pouring the urine down the stairway. Lou asks where he got the twenty giant jars of urine from in the first place. The guy says it's his. He explains that his landlord told him seven or eight months ago that he had to move because he was acting crazy, so he decided to show them what crazy was. Chief agrees that it's pretty crazy, as the cops show up to take the guy downtown.
Tommy and Franco walk back to the truck. Franco tells Tommy how Lou went out to Aspen for some retreat related to the 9/11 widows. Lou got talking to some shrink over beers, and the shrink told him to start writing poetry to deal with his emotions, and Lou's doing it. Tommy doesn't believe it. Franco insists that someone from another house read it and told him about it. Lou walks up and asks what they're doing, and Franco says, "Nothing." Lou tells them, "You've got that down to a goddamn science." I love Lou. He orders various people to help get the truck packed back up. Lou complains that the deputy mayor was quoted in the paper saying that firefighters don't deserve a raise because they spend 95% of their time sleeping, and the other 5% fighting fires. Lou concludes, "Goddamn Jew bag. Christ. I mean, any moron could see we spend at least 2% of our time cleaning up piss." Tommy asks Lou how he's doing, and Lou says he's fine. Tommy keeps asking, and Lou gets suspicious and asks why Tommy's busting his balls. They get into a bit of a fight about it before Lou leaves to finish packing up the truck. Tommy hears a little girl nearby, and then sees her standing there, holding a cat. She thanks him for saving her cat. Tommy looks around to see if anyone else is witnessing this, and when he turns back, the girl is gone.
Tommy walks into Janet's house and calls out, "Honey! I'm home!" Janet reminds him that he has to knock now, and wait for her to answer the door. Tommy starts going through some papers on the desk. He finds a booklet advertising properties in California and starts leafing through it. Janet walks into the room and grabs it from him while complaining that he's late. Tommy starts an argument, which Janet interrupts by calling for the kids. Tommy grabs a cookie from the plate on the table and takes a big bite. Janet reports that Tommy's mother is doing better, and Tommy says he talked to his brother Johnny, but his thought is interrupted when he realizes that the cookies suck. Janet laughs and tells him to pretend they are great, because his daughter Katie made them for Tommy and his co-workers. Katie shows up, and Tommy gives her a big hug and tells her that she makes the best cookies in the world. He tells her to get her books, and then spits the rest of the cookie into the sink.
Janet walks over and says that she needs money. Tommy says he's doing a porch this weekend with Lou and Franco, and Janet rolls her eyes and gives him the big "whatever." Tommy shakes his head and says that the "'whatever' thing" is annoying, because he's working his ass off at three jobs. Janet says that she has three jobs too, but their fight is cut short by the arrival of their kids. Tommy gets Katie, his son Connor, and his oldest daughter Colleen, ready to go. Janet reminds Connor of his homework, and reports that Colleen has lost her phone privileges for the night. Colleen complains that the punishment should only apply to Janet's house. Tommy rolls his eyes and asks what happened. Janet says that he snuck a boy in her room. Tommy is suddenly interested and asks what boy. Janet says it was the oldest Murphy boy, the one with the pierced eyebrow. Colleen protests that they were studying. Janet gives her the big "whatever." Tommy tells Colleen not to make that face at her mother, and then complains that her pants are too low.
At Tommy's house, Katie works on some homework at the dining-room table. Tommy walks in and sets some cash down on the table, then calls the other kids into the room. When they arrive, he announces that they're going to play a game so that he can get information about Mommy's new boyfriend. The kids clam up, until Katie says that Mom doesn't want them to talk about it while they're there. Tommy explains that's where the money comes in. He starts off by asking if any of them knows anything about the idea of moving to California. He stares at each kid in turn, and when none of them responds, he says that's the $50 question. He moves on to a $5 question: what is the new boyfriend's name? Connor reports that it's Roger, and Tommy hands over the cash. Tommy offers $10 for Roger's address. Colleen says they don't know, but that it's nearby. Tommy asks what Roger does for a living. Colleen says that he works for "a finance thing, like a group. A financial group." Tommy hands over more cash. Tommy returns to the original question and asks if anybody knows about moving to California. All three kids raise their hand like they're Horshack and Tommy is Mr. Kotter. Colleen takes the money and says that Roger is getting transferred there month, and that their mom has been trying to sell them on how great California is. Connor adds that she promised they could go to Disneyland. Tommy hands out the rest of the cash to his kids.
Tommy hears a noise outside and runs to the window. Colleen follows him, but he orders her back as he peeks from behind the curtain. He spies Roger walking up to the house and walking in. Tommy can't believe that Roger doesn't have to knock. Colleen says he has a key. Tommy asks, "He has a key to my house?" Colleen reminds him that he's in his house right now, and that Roger just walked into Janet's house. Tommy says they're both his houses. He spots Janet and Roger kissing hello, and tells the kids that it's time for them to go to bed. They all protest, and Tommy offers them $20 to go to bed right now.
Tommy sneaks over to Roger's car and opens the door. He looks through some papers and grabs some stuff. After looking at his find, he's happy to have Roger's full name and occupation. He hears a noise and drops the flashlight that he was holding in his mouth. It rolls down a sewer grate. Tommy spots Roger inside the house, and moves to the window to get a closer look. He jumps up to try to see inside. Roger walks over to the window and lights a cigarette, then pockets the FDNY Zippo. Tommy calls him a "goddamn thief" under his breath, and runs around the corner, tripping over a potted plant in the process.
Tommy sneaks over to another window, but Connor walks up behind him and scares him. Connor says that he was thirsty, and Tommy tells him, "Shh! There's water in the house. It's in the kitchen, in the bathroom, all over the goddamned place." Connor says he couldn't find his dad, and thought maybe he came to see Janet. Tommy asks why he would do that. Janet hears the noise outside and opens the window to ask what they're doing. Tommy lies that Connor wanted "some Star Wars thing" and Tommy told him not to come over, but he came anyway. Janet asks what thing Connor wanted, and Connor says he doesn't know. Tommy tries to blow it off and directs Connor back to his house. Janet calls out (to Connor), "Good night, honey!" Tommy calls back, "Good night, sweetheart." Janet says she was talking to Connor.
Later, Tommy sits in the window of his house and uses binoculars to spy as Janet walks Roger to his car. His cousin Jimmy shows up and remarks that Roger is a good-looking guy. Tommy thinks Roger is an asshole. Jimmy says that the sooner Janet falls in love with Roger, the sooner she'll divorce Tommy, and that he'll be off the hook, financially speaking. Jimmy struggles to open a can of beer, since he's missing the finger Tommy recovered. Tommy pours himself a whiskey, and Jimmy asks what he's doing. Tommy says he's having a drink. Jimmy asks what happened with AA, and Tommy says he was sober for fourteen months. Jimmy doesn't want Tommy to drink. Tommy says, "The way I figure it, you're dead, right? So this conversation probably isn't happening. Which means that this [gestures to whiskey] probably isn't happening. So, stick around a while, pal."
Jimmy asks if Tommy really wants to do that, and Tommy says that no one deserves it more than he does, since he has to watch his wife with Roger. He has to? Who is forcing him to? Jimmy says that Janet is Tommy's ex-wife, and Tommy says that she's not yet. Jimmy says that the divorce is happening, and then realizes that Tommy is still in love with Janet. He says that Tommy is the asshole, not Roger. Tommy says that he's not in love with Janet, but that he has feelings for her as the mother of his children. He wants her to fall in love with somebody else, but he wants it to happen "in a normal amount of time -- like, three, four years tops." Jimmy wants to bring us all up to speed, so he asks why they've separated. Tommy says that, according to Janet, he couldn't open up or be emotionally available. Jimmy asks if it's true, and Tommy says that it's true of Jimmy too. Jimmy reminds him that he's dead, so he has an excuse. Tommy thinks that's a cheap shot. Katie comes out and asks Tommy whom he's talking to. Tommy says he was just watching television.
Firehouse. A bunch of guys watch a football game. Tommy tells Franco that Roger stole his FDNY lighter. Franco asks about the lighter, and Tommy says that his cousin Jimmy gave it to him when he quit smoking, because he won't accept medals. Franco thinks Tommy has bigger things to worry about, and reminds him that when he and Janet split, he bragged to everyone that it was going to be "booze, broads, and blowjobs, blah blah blah." But now Tommy sits home and spies on his ex. Tommy reminds Franco about "that blonde at the club last week." Flashback to Tommy talking to some young blonde. Franco admits that the chick was hot, but reminds Tommy that when they have sex with women who aren't their wives, they share all the details with the guys. Tommy says, "Maybe I'm a gentleman." Chief walks by and says, "Oh, yeah? Maybe I'm growing tits." Tommy retorts, "Hey, check a mirror, pal."
Once Chief is out of earshot, Franco asks Tommy if he banged the broad, and Tommy says he did it three times. Franco asks if he used Viagra, and Tommy says that it was all natural. Flashback to Tommy standing outside the club, telling the blonde that he's "in a transitional type of situation type of thing." Tommy stammers his way through an explanation of why he's conflicted. The blonde just slips him her phone number and goes on her way. Franco wants more details than that. Before Tommy can make something up, the alarm goes off. Chief complains, "Lick me blind! This computerized broad is running my life! I got two hundred bucks on this game."
The trucks drive down the street. Tommy sits inside, and remembers digging through the wreckage on September 11th. He's looking for Bobby Vincent when he hears a voice. He finds Bobby's disembodied head. Bobby asks where Jimmy is, and then says he can't feel his legs.
The trucks arrive at the fire. Franco helps Mike to grab a ladder as Garrity comments that "Probie's gonna get his cherry popped tonight." On the other side of the truck, Tommy takes a swig of liquor from a miniature bottle and tells himself, "Come on, asshole. Be a man. Right now." Lou walks over to two guys who are struggling to open a fire hydrant. Billy tells them about another location for water, and they take off to find it. He rattles off the locations so quickly, that one of the other firefighters refers to him as "Rain Man."
Inside the building, people are being evacuated. Tommy leads the guys up the stairs as they get information over the radio that there are people in apartment 4B. Tommy hands his axe to Mike and busts down the door to an apartment. The place is filled with smoke. Tommy crawls through the apartment. After a few moments, Mike starts panicking and calling out for Tommy. Downstairs, Franco says an "Our Father." Tommy finds Mike and yells at him for not staying close. Tommy finds a bed and looks underneath. He pulls out a kid. Downstairs, Franco is still praying. Tommy makes his way to a closet, where he finds another kid. Franco radios up to find out what's going on, and Tommy reports that he found two kids.
Downstairs, Tommy hands over the kids. Franco tells him that there are still people in 4B. Mike thinks that was amazing, and sits down. Tommy says it's not over. Chief reports that there's a family of ten in 5A. Franco says that Lou heard noises in 6F. They all head back in.
Lou and Billy stand in a blackened apartment, looking for an ashtray. Chief walks in, and they report that the primary search is complete. He tells them to start a secondary search. He spots a grubby TV and asks someone what channel the game is on.
Tommy and Mike bust into another apartment, and a naked guy attacks them with a baseball bat. Mike tries to hand Tommy a spatula, and Tommy asks, "You wanna flip him? He's a junkie, not an omelet." Tommy finally manages to get in two or three good punches, but the guy doesn't even flinch. The guy hits Tommy with the bat, and Tommy grabs it. The guy charges him, and Tommy swings the bat into his side. You could totally tell it was a rubber bat. It bent, like, in half. Anyway, the guy falls to the ground, and Mike and Tommy prepare to drag him outside.
Chief wipes the ash off the television screen and checks out the score on the game. Lou shows up to report that the fire is under control, and Chief sends him away.
Down on the street, Lou comes over and yells at Mike about something. Franco asks where Tommy is, and Lou thinks he's taking a piss. Franco asks about Chief, and Lou says he never came out.
Cut to Chief in a bar somewhere, watching the game, complaining about how much money he's losing. A guy at the bar says that Chief is doing some serious gambling. Chief says, "Hey, pal. I'm a New York City fireman. My whole life's a goddamn gamble." The bartender comes up with a garbage bag, and Chief stuffs a dead dog inside so the owner won't have to see it.
Franco and Garrity sit on the back of the truck. Franco says there was a single mother on the third floor, and that he might offer her his bed since she needs a place to stay now. Billy walks over and starts taking off his gear, when they all hear a noise coming from the building. They look up and see a little girl looking out the window. Franco says he thought Billy said the building was clear, and Billy says that he thought it was. They start to run over, but the girl jumps and lands on the pavement. Garrity gets there first and says, "Dammit, Tommy!" It's a doll. Tommy watches from the window and chuckles.
Tommy turns back into the room, and Jimmy is standing there. Jimmy points out that Tommy couldn't even come into the building without a couple of hits from his flask. Another fireman comes in and asks Tommy if he needs a hand. Tommy says he's fine.
Hello, naked firefighters. Franco and Garrity are in the locker room after a shower. I always miss the good parts. They hear someone puking in a stall, and ignore it. Garrity says that with his family history, he's thinking about having a doctor put a camera up his colon. Franco points out that he's only twenty-eight. Garrity says he's "going crazy wondering what's going on inside of [his] ass." Aren't we all, Garrity? Aren't we all? Franco tells Garrity, "Forget about your ass. Have him stick a camera in one of your ears and find out what the hell kind of brain damage we're dealing with here." Garrity leaves. Mike walks out of the stall, having finished puking. Franco tells him that there's an old saying in the FDNY: "If you aint' scared, you're crazy." He also says that Mike has some puke on his chin, and hands him a towel.
Tommy walks into the locker room and hands Mike his hepatitis kit – a coffee mug and a plastic bag. He tells Mike to piss in the cup and shit in the bag, and then put both on Grinch's desk. Mike is doubtful. Tommy asks Garrity what he's doing, and Garrity says, "What? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about my ass, you know, cancer-wise." Hee! Tommy gives him a long look, and then shakes his head and leaves. Denis Leary has great reaction shots.
In the firehouse, the guys watch a nature show that I think I've seen. Or maybe it's the one that was on that episode of The Sopranos Uncle Junior was watching. The guys place bets on the lion versus the hyena.
A well-dressed woman walks into the room and asks for Chief. She introduces herself as Dr. Goldberg, and Chief says that she's the shrink. She corrects him and says that she's a psychotherapist. Chief explains that they can use her to "get [their] feelings off [their] chest," and makes a face that reveals how ridiculous he finds the idea. Dr. Goldberg sits down and says that the effects of 9/11 are still being felt. The guys ignore her and continue watching and commenting on the nature show. Dr. Goldberg says she's there to help if anyone would like to talk. Franco asks if they have to talk to her if they don't want to. Dr. Goldberg says no. Franco gets up and leaves, and the other guys quickly follow suit, except Tommy.
Tommy starts to explain, but Dr. Goldberg says that she got the same reaction at another firehouse the night. Tommy says that the guys are not going to talk to a psychotherapist, especially a female one. She asks about the female firefighters, and if Tommy is threatened by women. The other guys are all listening in from outside the door. Tommy says he's not. Dr. Goldberg says that Tommy doesn't seem to think that a woman can be a firefighter. Tommy says it's not about being a man or a woman, it's about doing the job and him getting home safely to his kids. He adds, "You got a woman who can do the job? Bring her on. You got a Martian, or a cyborg, or a Chinaman that can do the job? Bring them on too." Dr. Goldberg asks if there are any Chinese firefighters. Tommy says there probably are, in China. Dr. Goldberg senses a lot of hostility, and Tommy tells her that she's perceptive.
Tommy clears his throat and asks if she wants them to talk about their feelings. Tommy tells her to forget about 9/11: "Five years ago. Black kid. Ten years old. Pulled him out of a closet. Hot fire, all around. He's burnt. He's scared. And he's slipping and sliding around in my arms like a goddamned baby seal. And I almost get him outside, and his skin...he's wearing nothing but underwear. And his skin peels off like wrapping paper off a Christmas present. He slips right out of my arms and onto the floor. Pick him up, get him outside. A few months later, he dies in the Burn Center."
Tommy takes a deep breath and starts again: "Three years ago. Project fire. Six stories up. One bedroom apartment, fifteen people living in it. I find a little girl, hurt pretty bad, holding a kitten. So I bring it down. Six stories, six goddamned stories. And I'm switching my mask off with her, and the kitten, and her, and the kitten, and me, her, and the kitten, and me. She's crying up at me the whole time, saying, 'Please, Mr. Fireman. Please don't let anything happen to my kitten, Mr. Fireman.' And I'm biting my tongue, because I hate cats. I think they suck. I come from a dog family. Anyways, long story short. Cat lived. She didn't."
Tommy continues: "9/11, we lost four guys from this house. One of them was my cousin Jimmy." Tommy starts to choke up. "My best friend. Best goddamned fireman I ever worked with. Good family man. Dedicated American blah blah blah. And every day I gotta drive to work, I drive through my neighborhood, I see drunken assholes, guys I went to high school with, who stand on the corner, high, having a great time. And I gotta wonder why these assholes are still wandering around when Jimmy Keefe ain't." Outside the room, the guys have stopped laughing. Lou looks like he might be crying. Tommy sniffs and says, "My cousin the priest says that it's all part of God's plan, that God's got a plan. You know what? If there is a God, he's got a whole shitload of explaining to do." Tommy hears the guys outside the room. He kicks the table and walks out, leaving Dr. Goldberg alone.
Tommy drives home in his truck, smoking.
Franco works the heavy bag in the gym.
Lou writes a poem on his computer.
Tommy walks out to the beach.
Mike finds Billy and says that his doctor is on the phone.
Tommy watches the sunrise on the beach and drinks straight from the bottle.
Billy answers the phone.
Lou finshes a poem called "Ode to the Heroes" that it truly awful, and chokes back tears.
Tommy pulls out his wallet and finds his AA chip. He throws it into the ocean.
Billy goes over to the bulletin board and takes down his list as Mike watches.
Tommy walks off the beach, and Jimmy, the two kids, and the three other firefighters from his house who died sit nearby. Tommy walks up a dune, and his ghosts follow him.
In the tag after the closing credits, Grinch is in his office, talking to some higher-up on the phone about overtime. He spots a plate of cookies that Tommy left for him, with a note explaining that his daughter made them. Grinch takes a big bite, and then spits it out. He grabs his coffee mug, and takes a big swig, then spits that out too. He spots a plastic bag on his desk, and it takes a minute to figure out what it is. He spots the note attached, explaining that it's Mike's urine and stool sample. He drank pee! Hey, you need something kind of light after the heavy final ten minutes of this episode.