As Sam ends his shift at The Bench, WiseGuy shows up to purchase a toolbox. Sam suspects it's the vessel, but WiseGuy duhs that it's just a toolbox. He has a plumbing project for Sam. Sam gripes that being the Devil's handyman wasn't part of the deal. WiseGuy assures him that this -- and anything he deems necessary -- is, in fact, part of the deal. Cheer up, Sam, it's just for the rest of eternity!
Sam arrives to plumb, and who opens the door but Julie Cooper? In a pink satin teddy, no less. Her name is Mimi. She explains that she tried to use the dishwasher to wash her clothes since her washing machine was broken. Now Sam has to extricate her unmentionables from the dishwasher's motor. As he works, Sam asks her how she was referred to the Work Bench. She says her boyfriend, "Jerry," referred her. She shows Sam a picture of their trip to Cabo. To Sam's surprise, "Jerry" is, in fact, WiseGuy -- in a tropical shirt…holding a girly cocktail…with a pineapple garnish.
Back at The Bench, The Stooges clean up the food court and discuss Mimi Cooper. JBL totally gets it; he thinks WiseGuy, né "Jerry," is living the dream, and aspires to be a Duke of Darkness with a mistress on every continent some day. He asks Sam to set up an internship. Ben shifts the conversation to Andi. Sam hasn't talked to her since the affair of the boyfriend necklace. Ben asks if Sam knows what his status is, and Sam says he doesn't have a clue. Despite all the clues Andi has dropped, such as flat-out telling him she doesn't want to be his girlfriend. Just sayin'.
Andi walks up and says The Stooges must have really effed up if they're cleaning the food court. It comes out (wait for it…) that they put Tedager's picture on a bi-curious website. Andi asks Sam to cover her shift tomorrow, and he agrees. She leaves, and The Stooges go back and forth over whether their last encounter was such a big deal after all. JBL comments that she's acting like a dude and Sam's acting like a chick. The guys walk off, leaving Sam to clean up.
Sam squeezes under a counter, then is suddenly transported to what we discover is a coffin. He screams out that knows it's WiseGuy and he's tired of these shenanigans. He turns, sees a corpse, and shrieks in terror. WiseGuy lets Sam out. Sam tells a smug WiseGuy that that was an a-hole thing to do. Then he moves on to Mimi Cooper. WiseGuy shrugs it off and tells Sam not to mention it again. He brings out a paper and shows Sam the latest reap -- former funeral director Dennis Grayson. Grayson used to sell corpse's body parts before cremating them. Now he's back, but he, too, was cremated, so Sam won't be able to see him. They walk into a visitation, and WiseGuy shows seemingly atypical generosity by handing Sam a list of people the soul is after. He suggests Sam prioritize a woman named Sarah Negly. But first, Sam must return to Mimi Cooper's and repair her washing machine.
At Mimi Cooper's, Sam asks how she met "Jerry." She swoons over his "Old World charm," then perks up when the phone rings because it might be him. It isn't, and Sam accidentally lets it slip that he knows "Jerry." She starts digging for information, promising she won't tell "Jerry" because "he would kill us." Sam squirms.
Back at The Bench, Sam plops down the vessel box and rues the fact that he just spent hours praising "Jerry." He says he felt sorry for Mimi Cooper and couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. He opens up the box, and…it's a blow dryer. They head out to find Sarah Negly. On the way, Ben suggests they take the back exit because Tedager might see them. Sam says Tedager's at a linoleum conference, but he's interrupted when a Latina woman screams out to Ben. It's Ben's grandma. JBL and Sam introduce themselves; she responds with the coldest stare ever known to man. Ben shuffles The Stooges off as she continues with her death stare.
On the way out, The Stooges ask why Grandma has no idea who they are, and why they weren't invited to his family party. Ben explains that Grandma has "the eye" -- she can predict the future and see evil spirits. Not so good for Sam. They reach the Negly residence, and JBL is still talking about "the eye" while Sam is still miffed that Ben is hiding them from his family. After some prodding, Ben reveals that he's embarrassed by Sam and JBL.
Sam rings the doorbell, and a man opens up. Sam asks for Sarah Negly, who, it turns out, was the man's mother. Also, she died years ago. Sam asks if she was cremated, and is shown her urn. Sam asks if Negly knew Grayson, and Negly gets huffy. Suddenly, the ground quakes, and Sarah Negly's urn flies off the mantle, shattering. The ashes inside swirl up into a ghostly shape, and all the house's windows and doors slam shut, locking The Stooges out. They peek in and see Negly getting strangled by the specter. They run in once the door opens, but Negly's a goner.
Back in The Bench break room, Sam reckons the soul uses the ashes to exact his revenge on his victims' families. His complaints about the reap spur JBL to advise Sam to channel his negativity into "positive-ity." He non-sequiturs that Sam should ask Andi out again…and again…and again…until she relents. He gives Sam a shoulder massage and sends Sam on his mission with a ceremonious slap on the ass.
Sam approaches Andi, who's stocking shelves with Ben. We must all behold the awkwardness as Sam asks Andi out, she says no, he asks about the weekend, she says no, and he strides off, trying to look confident but actually grimacing. You know the drill. Ben suggests Andi figure out what she wants and make a move one way or another. She admits she's frustrated and confused. Ben asks if Sam still has a chance, and she says maybe. Ben concedes that that's better than no.
The Stooges carry a carpet out to the parking lot, and Sam updates them on Grayson -- his chop shop was eventually found out, sued, and shut down, so he killed himself. Sam's afraid the families of all the people will die if they don't collect all the ashes. Ben says that would be an impossible task, but JBL says nothing is impossible. Methinks hijinks are a-comin'.
The Stooges arrive at the house of one of Grayson's victims' family members, and finagle their way in under the guise that she won a carpeting contest at The Bench. JBL distracts her while Sam and Ben grab the urn and pour its contents into a plastic bag. A montage follows in which Glad bags are filled and old folks rub various body parts on the carpet samples. One by one, the names are marked off the list.
After the hard work, JBL proposes they down some tequila, but Ben says he has family obligations. The guys harass him about not inviting them to his family party, but explains that his grandmother is an unforgiving matriarch. He is worried that he's the family's black sheep, since he was supposed to be a priest but instead works at The Bench. The guys promise they won't go to the party. Yeah, right. As they pile into JBL's car, Sam makes sure to set the record straight that JBL is more embarrassing than he is.
JBL drives Sam home. Sam tries to get the ashes from him, but JBL promises to store them properly. Then he peels out of the driveway, inspiring no confidence at all. WiseGuy startles Sam as he heads inside. WiseGuy is pissed at Sam for desecrating people's remains. Sam gives WiseGuy his rationale, but WiseGuy tells him to find the soul and put him away, stat. He warns Sam to stop worrying about the living and start concentrating on the dead.
Sam tries to curtail this talking-to, but WiseGuy continues that he's been under the gun with Mimi Cooper. He asks what Sam has been telling her. Sam calls WiseGuy out for letting Mimi Cooper put her life on hold for him. WiseGuy says his conscience is clean, but Sam counters that he has none. Then, WiseGuy menacingly tells Sam to stay out of it, do his job, and keep his mouth shut -- "or I will shut it for you." To wit, Sam's mouth is briefly stitched closed. When it reopens, WiseGuy has vanished.
Inside 667, Sam's dad (remember him?) enters Sam's room. Sam is holding the necklace he tried to give to Andi, and they discuss Sam's self-professed state of limbo. Dad encourages Sam to keep with it. But when Sam says they've known each other for five years, even Dad has to admit that his son is kind of a spineless loser. He says Sam can always hope for a miracle. Sam asks if he should wait, but Dad is reluctant to say one way or another.
A little later over at Mimi Cooper's, Sam grumbles about the reap while JBL twirls Mimi Cooper's underthings around his finger and harrumphs that they should be at Ben's party. Sam realizes that they should be at the party because they can use Ben's grandma's prophetic powers. Heading out, they find Mimi Cooper crying and drinking scotch. "Jerry" has stood her up, as usual. JBL gives her a pep talk in which he calls her a "big plate of 'Yes!'" and invites her for some beer bong action.
Two Stooges and Mimi Cooper show up at the community center for Ben's party. Natch, Ben is less than pleased. Ben reminds JBL and Sam that he could be living in The Bench if they step out of line, but Sam is focused on using Grandma's eye to crack the case. Ben says he doesn't even know if she can help, but Sam says it's his only shot. Ben reluctantly submits.
JBL and Mimi Cooper dance at the party. She says "Jerry" never takes her dancing, to which JBL suggests he might be into dudes. She laughs it off, then mentions that "Jerry" has a horrible temper and would go crazy if he saw them. JBL slips away as she spins around to the sounds of generic Latin music.
Ben takes Sam over to see Grandma. Sam says he needs her help. Grandma says she needs more information and wants to look at Sam's palm. She engages her death stare as she probes him. Then, out of nowhere, she stabs his palm with a fork. JBL hops into action, full-on tackling her while Sam yanks the fork out of his hand. Ben looks on in horror.
Sam escorts Mimi Cooper back to her house. She invites him inside to put iodine on his hand. He tries to leave, but she ropes him in to ask if she should break up with "Jerry." Sam sputters out an eventual yes, then grabs his mouth to see if the stitches have reappeared. They have not, but the earthquake begins again. JBL runs toward the house, and Mimi Cooper reveals that her mother was cremated a few years ago. JBL and Sam run to fetch the ashes.
As Sam and JBL frantically search the house, suddenly all the doors slam shut. Sam remembers leaving the vessel at the party. He finally spots the urn as it falls and dives to catch it, but the house's shaking knocks it from his hands. The ashes rise up in front of JBL, and Sam gets the idea to douse them in water. They fall down, and JBL sucks them up with a power vacuum. Scariness dispensed and only easily misconstrued weirdness remaining, the doors open, and Mimi Cooper walks in. The Stooges concoct an excuse and head out.
As they run (like little girls) to the car, Sam wonders how they didn't know Mimi Cooper was involved. They huck the vacuum into the trunk with the other ashes -- great idea! -- and speed off. On the way to the community center, Sam calls Ben and tells him to get the keys and meet them there. The trunk of the car starts to jump as the soul tries to escape, and Sam realizes that the ashes in the trunk are allowing Grayson to form a super-clump of spiritual vengeance. As Grayson's spirit struggles in the trunk, the car swerves wildly.
Ben and Grandma have arrived at the community center. She is characteristically silent. Ben gets out and sees JBL's car screeching up. They scram into the community center, grab the vessel, and put on bandit-style face coverings. At the same time, the ashes break free from the trunk and swirl toward them as Grandma looks on with her eye.
The soul enters the front door and takes super-sized ash monster form. They crank up the blow dryer and battle with the ash-demon for a while until the dryer sucks in the soul and spits out the ashes on them at the other end. Reap completed, The Stooges are left coughing up human remains. Grandma comes up and makes crosses in the ashes on The Stooges' foreheads. She whispers into Ben's ear that he is doing God's work and has her blessing. Oh, and by the way, says Ben, she's worth millions.
The day at The Bench, WiseGuy golf-claps Sam's job well done. His sarcasm bleeds through, though, because he's irked that Mimi Cooper is leaving him to move to New Mexico. Sam feigns sympathy, but WiseGuy knows he was the instigator. Sam notes that WiseGuy is actually upset, but WiseGuy says his emotion is borne out of practicality -- he invested a lot of time corrupting and breaking her down. Sam says he's lying, and that WiseGuy sent Sam to Mimi Cooper's house to protect her from the soul because he actually cares. WiseGuy says he'll show Sam how much he cares. He snaps his fingers and says that she's dead. Sam gets up in arms about it, but WiseGuy cracks a smile and says he's just screwing with Sam. Mimi Cooper's fine.
Sam heads over to Mimi Cooper's house. She's having a going-away yard sale. He grabs a video, and a young coquette walks up to him and strikes up a conversation. She eventually moseys off, and Mimi Cooper walks up. She asks if "Jerry" is upset that she's leaving, but says she's never been more sure of anything, and thanks Sam for pushing her to realize what she was missing. She calls over her daughter Cady, and it's the same girl Sam was just flirting with. She says Sam should keep an eye on Cady (wink, wink) since she won't be moving to New Mexico with Mimi Cooper. Cady says she'll see Sam around. Sam turns back to Mimi Cooper and asks how long she knew "Jerry." She says on and off for 20 years. He looks over at Cady, who appears to be…oh, let's say 19 or so.
The Stooges hang out on the bay shore and ponder whether Cady is WiseGuy's daughter. Sam doesn't want to believe that Cady is a Devil Child, but JBL says this is likely another one of WiseGuy's tricks. Sam says he's going to call Cady. Ben asks about Andi, but Sam has learned a lesson from Mimi Cooper and decides not to wait around and miss out on life. Which would be a good idea…if he didn't suspect Cady were the spawn of Satan! They break from the sentimentality to spray the ashes into the bay.
week: Sam sparks a romance with Cady, though questions of her lineage still remain…and though she says freaky crap like "I like to bite the heads off of live chickens." JBL dubs her "Beelzebabe," and I'm going to use that.