Previously on The Real World: It was just sick and sad.
Trishelle talks on the phone to Bryan, her brother-in-law. She says that she's been too busy to talk to "Daddy." "Daddy"? That's foreshadowing, right there. Trishelle runs down her roommates, and says that all of the girls are pretty, and that all of the boys are cute. Then she admits that, on the first night, she hooked up with one of her roommates, even though she swore she wouldn't do that. It even entered her mind beforehand? Like she consciously thought, "Trishelle, now, you can't go hooking up with one of your roommates! No matter how drunk you get!" That would never even enter my mind. Especially knowing that it would be broadcast on national television. In an interview, Trishelle says that her sister Buffy (and seriously, what is wrong with their parents and the names?) is her best friend and gives her advice. Clearly, not enough. Trishelle says that Buffy is her older sister, so Buffy "knows what's going on." Have you ever noticed the completely vacant look in Trishelle's eyes? There is just nothing going on in there. Trishelle and Bryan giggle about how mad Buffy will be about the hookup. Hee! I made an ass of myself on national television. Isn't that hilarious?
Trishelle begs Frank not to get into the big shower, because she needs to use it. Frank parades around in his boxers like he's the shit. When really, as we all read on The Smoking Gun this week, he just enjoys taking shits in fraternity houses and then getting arrested. Brynn yells that Frank should get in the smaller shower, and then she and Trishelle can shower together in the bigger one. Would that ever occur to you? Is it me? Am I just missing something here? Would you ever ask your roommate of less than a week to shower with you? Screw that "less than a week" crap. Would you ever, as an adult, take a shower with someone you are not romantically involved with? On national television? If so, I saw a commercial saying that they are casting for the season of this show right now. Send in your tape. In an interview, Brynn says that she and Trishelle are a lot alike, but that Brynn is a lot crazier. Crazy, hmmm? Interesting choice of words there. Brynn and Trishelle shower together. Irulan runs up and peeks through the shower door to see what's going on. In an interview, Brynn says that she thinks she could corrupt Trishelle, not that she wants to, except that she kind of does.
Trishelle, Arissa, Irulan, and Brynn lie around and talk. Trishelle says that when she told her father she had made it on the show, he said that he was disappointed in her. That's exactly what I would say. Score one for Mr. Trishelle. Trishelle says that her father hurts her feelings a lot, and often tells her that she's a screw-up. Well, she is. I mean, maybe he could be a bit more supportive, but it's not like he's a liar. In an interview, Trishelle has the fattest face ever. I don't know what the story is with that. Anyway, she says she feels like her daddy wasn't there for her when her mother died, and she feels like he should have been there "to guide [her] or whatever." So far in this episode, Trishelle has told us about two people that she needs to guide her. Can she think for herself? She's twenty-two years old. Brynn starts bragging about how great her father is, and how he brags about her. Wow, way to make Trishelle feel better. Trishelle says that she doesn't have anyone to be proud of her now. What about Buffy? And Bryan? In an interview, Irulan must be a psych major because she says that losing her mother in early adolescence clearly affected Trishelle's confidence. Irulan thinks Trishelle "sees herself through her father's eyes, and her father has made her feel like a second-class citizen." Okay, but she's an adult now. Get some therapy and move on like the rest of us. Trishelle stares vacantly at her pillow.
Alton tells Irulan about his potential baby, and that Melissa is mad at him for ragging on her about birth control. Irulan says that it's Melissa's responsibility to make sure she's pregnant before calling Alton up and involving him. Of course, Irulan doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant, because she doesn't have enough body fat to menstruate. Seriously, she is the skinniest little thing ever. Alton says that Melissa made a doctor's appointment in a week, and he thinks she should go buy an EPT right now. In the most weirdly edited audio ever, Irulan asks if Melissa would keep the baby, and Alton says that she would. But his sentence was clearly cut off right in the middle, and now I'm all wondering what else he said there. Alton and Irulan go down to the bar. Alton raves about how great his relationship with Melissa was. In an interview, Alton says that Melissa was his first true love. Alton tells Irulan that their relationship changed. In an interview, Irulan says that Alton really misses Melissa, and that he must really love her. Irulan says that she doesn't expect boyfriends to buy her things. What does that have to do with anything? Irulan is totally digging on Alton, by the way.
In an interview, Steven delivers the news that Las Vegas is a great place to party. Really? I hadn't heard that before. The roommates go out to a club again. Just watching them go out all the time is making me really tired. I couldn't tell you the last time I was in a bar. My friend Molly and I were just talking about this the other day. Now that I'm an old lady, hanging out in bars is just not entertaining anymore. I probably haven't been inside a bar in a year, and even then it was just to see my friend's band play. So you can see how I have trouble relating to these people. Brynn dances up a storm and Steven bites her butt. No, he really bites it. In an interview, Steven says he thinks it's great when women are bisexual. Ugh. Shut up, Steven. Brynn and Trishelle dance together. Another woman puts her arm around Brynn, and Trishelle tells her that Brynn is her girlfriend. Just something I thought I would point out in light of later events: Trishelle was flirting with Brynn all along. Trishelle hugs Brynn and says she loves her. In an interview, Brynn says that Trishelle won't make the first move, but Brynn will. Brynn suggests a kiss to Trishelle and they start making out right there on the dance floor. Mary-Ellis must have wet herself when she saw this footage.
Back at the suite, all the girls get into bikinis and hop into the Jacuzzi. As you do. The funniest part about this scene to me is that they don't even have, like, a proper hot tub like most other seasons have had. They have a Jacuzzi tub that looks like it's maybe meant for three or four people tops, and yet they all hang out and pile into it. All four girls and Steven hang out in the Jacuzzi while Frank sits on the outside and stares creepily. Suddenly, Brynn is sitting on Steven's lap, facing Trishelle. Irulan takes pictures. In an interview, Brynn says that all of her roommates were in the bathtub, and it was sweet. Steven and Trishelle make fuck-me eyes at each other over Brynn's shoulder. Frank stares at them creepily. Trishelle's boob is right in Brynn's face. Steven starts kissing Brynn's neck and shoulders. Okay, I have to stop with the detail because this is a family site. Not really, but it's just too much. In an interview, Irulan says that she would expect this behavior from Steven and Brynn, but that Trishelle surprised her. Sometimes Trishelle looks like Mary-Louise Parker in her death scene in Fried Green Tomatoes. (Hope I didn't spoil that one for you.) In an interview, Frank says that he's a pretty wild person in his hometown, but in Vegas he's tame. Oh, Frank. You're tame at home, too. Vandalizing a fraternity house and taking a dump on the floor are not wild acts. Stupid acts? Yes. But not wild. In an interview, Frank gets off a funny line when he says that he's not the type of person who would hook up in a hot tub that is filled with "disease and infestation." I notice the disease didn't bother him when he was staring creepily. Steven and Trishelle start swallowing each other's faces and totally ignoring Brynn, so Brynn pretends she's happy just lying there while they make out on top of her, because she has no choice. The other roommates are still all sitting there watching, which I just don't get. At the first kiss, I would have been so out of there.
Trishelle gets out of the tub and slurs something about how she's never done a three-way. Steven follows her into her room, leaving Brynn sitting there alone. Trishelle whispers to Steven that she's pretty innocent and hasn't been with that many people, but now she's going wild. Suddenly, Steven is lying on top of Trishelle and they are making out. Irulan sneaks over and takes a picture of them. Brynn scampers into the bedroom and tries to get in on it. Brynn, they don't want you. You are extraneous. Frank, Irulan, and Arissa stand outside the door and listen in. Brynn, Steven, and Trishelle hop into the same bed and pull up the covers. Brynn says that Trishelle is naked, and Trishelle slurs that she's not. She's all Anna Nicole Smith over there with the slurring. In a confessional, Arissa sits on Irulan's lap and says that she doesn't know what's going on, but she's stuck in a porno. Isn't that a U2 song? "You've got to get yourself together, you've been stuck in a porno, and you can't get out of it." Meanwhile, Steven and Trishelle totally love each other up and Steven has his back to Brynn. No one wants her there. This is the least sexy threesome ever. It's really just a twosome and then Brynn.
In a confessional, Trishelle says that she feels like tonight was really crazy, and that stuff happened that she didn't want to happen, and she feels like she didn't stick up for herself enough. Oh, take some responsibility. This just comes off like she did want to do it, but is just now realizing (as she sobers up) how bad it's going to make her look. What, did she trip and fall onto Brynn's mouth at the club? Was she making out with Brynn and Steven in the tub while Frank held a gun to her head? Or did they handcuff her to the bed so she couldn't get up and leave? Wait, don't answer that last one. In the kitchen, Trishelle tells Irulan that she feels like the night was overwhelming. Brynn says that she's in it for the fun and games. In an interview, Brynn says that Trishelle and Steve were in his bed, and that she went in and made out with Steve, and then Trishelle, and then she walked out. They show the footage again, and it still looks very much like Steven and Trishelle were doing something and Brynn was just lying there trying to join in. In a confessional, Trishelle says that she doesn't like that Steven hooked up with her and then immediately hooked up with Brynn. So is she ashamed of being in the threesome or mad at Steven for hooking up with someone else? Also, way to shift responsibility to Steven.
Frank tells Arissa (who is wearing two tons of makeup) and Steven that he thinks Trishelle really wants to "do exciting stuff like that" with Steven but "she brings this, like, innocence to the table." I thought Frank was debunked of that "innocence" notion in the last episode. In a confessional, Frank say that, at first, he thought Trishelle was a lot like him, but now he realizes that she doesn't care about or respect herself. And as much as I kind of agree with him on the lack of self-respect issue, something about the way he says it with such disgust makes me think he has major issues with female sexuality. In a confessional, Trishelle says that she wishes she could rewind the night because she would have done things differently. Here's an idea: stop getting so drunk that you make poor decisions.
Trishelle tells Brynn that she doesn't know why, but she felt uncomfortable. Brynn asks if she's referring to the threesome. Trishelle is, but she says she was also uncomfortable seeing Brynn and Steven together. Frank opines that Trishelle uses drunkenness as an excuse, and says that it wasn't her doing those things. In an interview, Arissa says that she thinks Trishelle uses drinking as "an excuse to possibly let out her true self." Trishelle says that she doesn't want Steven to think she likes him, because during the day (when she's sober, natch), she doesn't. Trishelle asks, "Is that the alcohol, or is that me? I mean, I don't understand." She makes me tired. Brynn tells Trishelle that it's her, not the alcohol. Out in the hall, Arissa says that she almost feels bad for Trishelle, because she has "some serious issues that she might not be ready to face."
Trishelle talks to her sister Buffy on the phone. Buffy is all bubbly and says that Trishelle sounds depressed. Trishelle says that there is crazy stuff going on. In an interview, Trishelle says that she feels closest to her sister, and that her sister is a lot like her mom. She adds that her sister looks out for her and knows what's best for her. Which is nice and all, but again, isn't it time Trishelle started figuring out what's best for herself instead of putting that responsibility on others? I really want Dr. Phil to do a show with these people. That would be awesome. Trishelle tells her sister that she already hooked up with one of her roommates, and that last night she hooked up with a different roommate, and this roommate wasn't a boy. Buffy is kind of shocked, but manages to be pretty cool about it, considering. Buffy says that Trishelle can make her own decisions, and that Buffy might not agree with them, but that she'll always be supportive. Trishelle asks Buffy to tell their dad about it. You know, I think that's a conversation I would wait on. Obviously, she wants to tell him before it's broadcast on national television, but does he need to know right now? In an interview, Trishelle says that she wants Buffy to tell her dad because she's scared of his reaction. Buffy closes the conversation by admonishing Trishelle to be careful.
Alton sits and plays his violin while looking out the window. In an interview, he says he's not ready to be a father. Alton talks about it with Steven. In a confessional, Alton says that if he and Melissa do have a baby, maybe it will be "that motivative force" that will make him handle all his business. I don't know what that means. Steven asks Alton how his religion feels about this. One of these roommates has a religion? Could've fooled me. Alton says that, at first, he was thinking there was no way he wanted Melissa to keep the baby, but now he's thinking she should. In a confessional, Alton says that he was planning on going to medical school to become a veterinarian, but if Melissa is pregnant, that's probably not going to happen. He still could. I mean, it would be really hard, but it's not like it hasn't been done before. Alton says that it's just a crazy situation. Alton talks to Melissa on the phone and finds out that she started her period. He's greatly relieved, but says that he has mixed emotions. Alton voice-overs that when all is said and done, he hopes to get back together with Melissa and marry her. What? Where did that come from? Steven congratulates Alton on his news, as does Irulan.
Trishelle talks to her father on the phone. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's expecting her dad to hit the roof and refuse to talk to her anymore, and also to make her come home. Frankly, I think those would all be fairly reasonable reactions. Big Daddy says that Buffy called him and told him about Trishelle's adventures. Trishelle assures him that things are better now, and that she's not going to do that again. Big Daddy says he doesn't think Trishelle is gay, and Trishelle says that she's not. Big Daddy urges her not to do it again. Trishelle asks if that's why he called. He reminds her of how much Buffy has helped her, and how much he has helped her, and asks if Trishelle would do something to shame them and bring misery to the whole family. Trishelle voice-overs that her father has to realize that she's growing up (hardly), and she's doing okay (yeah, right), and she'll be fine whether she takes his advice or not. Big Daddy asks Trishelle if she wants to hurt people who unconditionally love her. Trishelle says no. Big Daddy says that she will hurt them if she continues to act this way. Trishelle brats, "Is that all?" Big Daddy says that he hopes so, and he hopes that the time they speak, "it will be a lot more jovial." They hang up. Okay, based on Trishelle's description, I was expecting a monster. Taking into consideration that I don't know the whole family history, I didn't think her father said anything wrong or mean. He expressed concern, and he reminded her that what she does in front of the cameras will affect her family, too. Which it will. If she were just off at college somewhere doing these things, then it wouldn't be a big deal. But she knows it's going to be aired, and I think that's what he's talking about here. I know I'm old when I start agreeing with the parents' side of things.
In an interview, Trishelle says that she feels like her dad has certain ideas about who she should be, and she's not living up to them. Well, he's a parent. Of course he has hopes and dreams and expectations. Trishelle charges in and tells Brynn and Alton that she hates her father and that he's an asshole for shaming her. In an interview, Brynn says that Trishelle is trying to become more open (slutty), and she's also becoming more aware of what she's doing and how it reflects on her family. Trishelle cries that her father doesn't even love her. Brynn hugs her. I think she just copped a feel. In an interview, Trishelle says that she wants her father to accept her no matter what she does, and be proud of her no matter what. Didn't he just tell her that he loves her unconditionally? I think she only hears the negative things her father says. Trishelle says that she feels like she doesn't have anyone and "people need to have family." What about Buffy? Trishelle is seriously wacked. She lies on her bed and cries.
week: They start their job, which is to throw parties. Irulan and Frank get in a fight.