In the "Tonight on The Real World" segment, we are introduced to the seven roommates. In case you missed the preview episode last week, here they are again. Steven, twenty-three, is from San Marcos, Texas and is a straight man who works in a gay bar. Trishelle, twenty-two, is from Cutoff, Louisiana. She thinks the good thing about coming from a small town is that you get creative about what you do in your spare time (masturbation). Oops, that was an aside from Subliminal Kim. Irulan, twenty-one, is from the Bronx. She has a boyfriend named Gabe, but they have an open relationship. Alton, twenty-two, from San Diego, California plays the violin and likes outdoorsy activities. Frank, twenty-two, is from central Pennsylvania and is in the process of applying to graduate schools. Frank informs us that he won't get accepted to Cornell because he's a loser. Frank has self-esteem issues. If he didn't get accepted at, like, Central Pennsylvania Community College or something, then he's a loser. Cornell? Not so much. Arissa, twenty-two, is from Boston. She couldn't wait to get out of the Projects, and doesn't plan to return. Brynn, twenty-one, from Portland, Oregon, gets brave when she's drunk and hooks up with men. That takes courage? Brynn also breakdances. I kind of hate her already.
The credits are the standard fare, but this season they have been "picked to live in a casino." Bitches.
Trishelle sits on a curb at a motel just outside Las Vegas. She's all Elisabeth Shue, waiting for Nicolas Cage to die an alcoholic death. Did I just call Trishelle a whore? Well, if the leopard-skin leggings and platform shoes fit. In an interview, Trishelle says that, golly, she hasn't ever been away from Cutoff, and heck, she heard that Las Vegas is called Sin City, so that must mean they have a lot of sin there. Trishelle is clearly not the brightest bulb on the Strip.
Steven rides alone in the back of a limo. In an interview, Steven says that sex is important to him, and that beautiful women are his weakness. Unlike most men, who absolutely hate beautiful women. Not. And yet most of them manage to keep it in their pants. I hate Steven already. Steven's limo stops and picks up Trishelle. They are happy to see each other, and introductions are exchanged. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's excited to meet new men because she's been seeing the same ones for the past five years. As someone who comes from a small town, I understand what she means. Sort of. Trishelle voice-overs that she's attracted to men who are romantic and nice, but not too nice, and that sex isn't that important to her. Until she gets a few drinks in her, and then she's attracted to men who have penises. Penii? ["The word is 'penes,' but I only know that because Sars told me. How does she know? You'd have to ask her." -- Wing Chun] Anyway.
Steven tells Trishelle that he's lived in five different states and been to twenty-four schools. He just made that up. I can believe the states thing, but twenty-four schools? Come on. Trishelle guesses that he's probably never had a girlfriend before. Steven admits that he's had a few, and that he's actually married right now. At first, I was surprised that Trishelle wasn't more shocked, but then I realized that in Cutoff, most people probably have a couple of ex-spouses by the age of thirty, so it's no big deal to her. Steven says that he was supposed to be divorced last month, but doesn't supply why it didn't happen, and adds that he got married at the Paris Hotel in Vegas. Trishelle asks if he was drunk when they got married. Heh. Steven says that he and his wife planned the whole thing out and even invited friends and family along. In an interview, Steven says that his wife's name is Christy. Steven tells Trishelle that one day he came home from school and found a note from his wife. Trishelle laughs because Steven got a Dear John letter. Yeah, that's hilarious! His marriage broke up! Ha ha ha! Ha? Steven points out where he got married. Steven and Trishelle decide to stick their heads out of the sunroof to see the sights of Vegas.
Arissa gets into a limo bus and meets up with Frank. She asks where he's from, and he tells her that he's from Lewisburg, Pennsylvania. Frank explains that it's "no place big at all," and that Vegas is quite a change for him. Arissa looks uncomfortable as she twirls her hair. I think Frank is creepy. He's got dead eyes, like a shark, and he stares a minute too long. He's also very bony. His face is all right angles. In an interview, Frank says that the only things in his town are "cows, Amish people, and lots of people just like [him]." That sounds pretty cool, except for the last part. Imagine a town full of creepy Franks. That's so Village of the Damned. Arissa says that she's from Boston, which is "not anything big." Boston? Isn't big? Hello? Frank shares my incredulity, and explains that there are only six stoplights in his town. He lists them off. Six? Dude, my hometown has zero stoplights. There's a big monument in the middle of town that confuses visitors to no end, but not one stoplight. I think there's a flashing yellow in the town over, but that's as good as it gets. I'm not even sure there's a four-way stop. Arissa can't believe it. About Frank's town, not mine.
Arissa asks Frank if he's a Mormon. He says he's not, and she laughs. Frank tells her that it was a good question, because there are tons of Mormons and Amish people near his town. Frank says that when he's in traffic, the other cars are actually horses and buggies. Arissa is shocked. In an interview, Arissa says, "Okay, Jebediah." Amish jokes are always funny to me, so Arissa gets a point right there. Arissa thinks that Frank has "a great sense of humor and he's really funny." Arissa asks Frank if there are any strip clubs in his town. Frank says that there are, and he thinks the women are beautiful, but he's not into watching women take off their clothes, because it seems trashy. Arissa deadpans that she's a stripper. Frank starts apologizing all over the place, until Arissa admits that she was kidding. In an interview, Frank says that he's enjoying talking to Arissa because they joke around and Arissa makes fun of him. Frank looks out the window and wonders if one of the roommates is going to turn out to be a heavy gambler. Wouldn't it be ironic if one of the roommates had a gambling problem or something? Arissa says that she'll be in a casino drunk and upset that she has no money. Frank jokes that she'll ask him for money. Arissa says that she'll flirt with rich, old guys to get their money. Frank has this annoying habit, when he gets caught misunderstanding something, of saying, "I know!" When really he didn't know. I realize that is something that probably only bothers me, but I had to mention it.
Back to Steven and Trishelle. Steven is excited to meet the other roommates and find out where they are going to live. Trishelle is nervous. Insert enough shots of the Palms Casino that I feel like I've suddenly started watching an infomercial. Finally, Trishelle and Steven's limo pulls up out front. A bellhop welcomes them and takes their bags as they enter the casino. In an interview, Trishelle says that, gosh, she's never seen anything like this before. More infomercial casino shots. The bellhop asks them if they're staying for a while, and they say they don't know. He gives them room keys and they get in the elevator and head to the twenty-eighth floor. They arrive and do the typical oohing and aahing over the place. The décor is a lot nicer this year than years. In an interview, Trishelle says that her house in Cutoff is a country house and, dang, this is a city house. Except it's not a house. It's a hotel. But whatever. Steven and Trishelle happen upon a giant bowl of condoms. Steven starts reading the directions and Trishelle stashes one in her purse. Wouldn't it be ironic if one or both of them had sex without a condom and got pregnant? It's like foreshadowing.
Irulan arrives at the Palms. The bellhop asks if she's much of a gambler, and she says that she's not so far. In an interview, Irulan says that the hotel is beautiful, and more than she hoped for. Irulan enters the suite and meets Trishelle. They exchange names and there's a funny beat where they're both clearly like, "What the fuck was your momma thinking?" And they're both right. In an interview, Trishelle says that she's excited to live with people of other races because, gosh, they don't have black folks in Cutoff. Steven says that he's already feeling uncomfortable because he's with two beautiful women, like, keep it in your pants there, Steve Sanders.
Arissa and Frank arrive at the hotel. Arissa says that she needs her family to wire her $800. In an interview, Arissa says that she has $14 in her pocket and no clue when she's getting money again. Frank and Arissa get into the elevator and it doesn't move. They can't figure out how to work the elevator, but at least they have the grace to be embarrassed by that fact. Frank punches floors six and seven for some unknown reason. I don't know why he didn't just hit the button for the twenty-eighth floor. Arissa refuses to take the stairs, and they finally get the elevator figured out. Frank says that you have to be like John Nash to figure out the elevator. Or hit the button for the correct floor. They finally get to the suite and meet Steven, Trishelle, and Irulan. Steven says that he's already nervous because there are three pretty girls. God! How annoying is he? He seems a little too anxious to proclaim how much he likes chicks. We get it, Steven! You dig vaginas. Awesome. Can we move on? Frank admits that he just broke up with a girlfriend, and Trishelle says that they are all single people. Well, Steven is technically still married. Steven thinks they should wait until the final two roommates arrive to choose bedrooms. Everyone agrees.
Alton pulls up in a white stretch limo. I kind of like Alton already because he shakes the hand of his limo driver and his bellhop, and then helps his bellhop with the luggage. In an interview, Alton says that he's overwhelmed by the size of the casino. Alton enters the suite and everyone cheers. Frank creepily shakes Alton's hand. Alton checks the place out. In an interview, Frank says that he's wondering about the seventh roommate. Because every season, B/M has to try to isolate one person, they have Brynn arrive last, and alone. You know they totally orchestrate the order of the arrivals, and who travels in pairs and such. So they know that insecure Brynn is likely to feel left out when all of the others have already met and bonded, and thus arrange it for her to arrive last. Genius. Brynn, unlike Alton, barely speaks to her limo driver. The bellhop asks Brynn if she's much of a gambler, like obviously that's the standard bellhop question to new arrivals. Brynn says that she's more of a party animal. ["That's the first time anyone has used the expression 'party animal' since 1986." -- Wing Chun] In an interview, Brynn says that she's a bit of a troublemaker. She's already imagining that one of the female roommates will be really hot, and that Brynn and the hypothetical hot female roommate will compete for one of the hot male roommates. Brynn admits that she's fought with roommates before over guys. Yep. My initial impression is confirmed. I hate her. I hate her stupid tongue piercing and her million little pigtails and her low self-esteem and need for attention.
Brynn walks in and introduces herself around, but she's clearly not listening to the others' names, instead focusing on saying her own name as loudly as possible. In an interview, Brynn says that all she sees are "these pretty little skinny girls," and she's "kind of jealous." Drink every time Brynn says that she's jealous. Alton answers a knock at the door. It's room service! The waitress wheels in a cart with champagne and glasses, and a letter from the owner of the casino. Frank reads the letter aloud, which reveals that they are invited to a cocktail reception, dinner, and then they'll get free spa treatments. The women are all fired up about the spa treatments. Frank says that they have to be there in twenty-five minutes, dressed in dinner attire. Steven says they have to pick rooms, but first, they do a champagne toast. Because there's always time for champagne, especially when you're in Vegas.
Steven suggests putting numbers in a hat to assign rooms. In an interview, Frank explains that process to us. Thanks, creepy Frank. Each roommate picks a number. In an interview, Irulan says that she really wanted to room with Arissa because she feels like they have a lot in common. Brynn and Trishelle end up in the Zebra Room, so named due to the zebra bedspreads. They are both excited about that. In an interview, Trishelle says that she thinks their room will see "lots of excitement." (Hot sex.) Steven, Frank, and Irulan end up together, and Alton and Arissa are in the third room. I don't know why they didn't just say that the three boys should room together and let the ladies battle it out for the other two rooms. I'm not saying I don't think it's possible for men and women to room together, but the number just work out that way. In an interview, Alton says that he knew it would be easier if he just traded places with Irulan and let her room with Arissa. The roommates break off to claim their beds. Alton offers to swap with Irulan, and she accepts. That was done with a minimum of drama. So far. Still kind of liking Alton. I'm very curious about the giant framed picture Steven is carrying. It looks like a picture of some man. Anyway.
Arissa talks to her boyfriend, Dario, on the phone. I thought they were all single? Arissa tells him about their living situation, and says that she won't be able to go back and settle for the Projects again. In an interview, Arissa says that coming to Vegas is her ticket out of the Projects, and her boyfriend believes that she'll leave him because she wants bigger and better things.
Montage of the roommates showering and getting dressed. Arissa tosses a pair of handcuffs out of her bag, and the camera lingers on them. Steven sprays two tons of hairspray into his hair. In an interview, Brynn says that "Trishelle has awesome boobs," and that she's jealous of women with big boobs. Drink! Frank reminds everyone that they're already ten minutes late. Brynn can't believe she's actually there. In an interview, Frank says he thinks that all of the girls are hot, and that he can't wait to go out and show off that he's friends with them. I'm torn between feeling sorry for Frank and being scared of him. The roommates do all look great, though.
The roommates head down to the Ghost Bar for cocktails. Irulan and Alton walk arm in arm. In an interview, Alton says that he's attracted to Irulan, but he doesn't know if she knows. The roommates discover a skylight in the roof, and the girls take turns standing on it so people can see up their dresses. Would that ever occur to you? If you saw a window in the ground, and people below, would it ever occur to you to stand on it so people could see up your dress? For the first of what will be many times this evening, I ask, "What is wrong with these people?"
Brynn asks Irulan what she thinks of the other roommates. Irulan says she doesn't know yet, but that she really likes Alton and thinks he is polite. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Alton comes over and puts his arm around Irulan. In an interview, Irulan says that she thinks Alton is great and she has a good time with him, so she's excited to get to know more about him. The roommates walk into the restaurant and sit down at a table. Steven says it's weird that no one is "a racist jerk-off." Irulan and Arissa both grimace and say that none of them knows that yet. Trishelle insists that she's not racist, y'all, and that she's always wanted to know black folks but never got the chance. In an interview, Trishelle says she's afraid that her roommates will think that she's just "a dumb girl from the South." Well, if the blacked-out front tooth and hayseed in your mouth fit. Trishelle says a bunch of times that she's excited to learn about other people. In an interview, Frank says that Trishelle is gorgeous and has a great personality. He can tell all this from spending like two hours with her? Oh, Frank. He stares at her across the table, and they suddenly cut to a shot of Steven, sighing. It's almost like they're trying to make us think these three will get into a love triangle.
The roommates go to the salon. The women all get naked and drink champagne in the hot tub. Yeah, that's what I like to do with people I've known for three hours. I usually meet people, find out their names, ask where they're from, what they do for a living, and then say, "Hey! Let's take our clothes off and jump into the hot tub!" Again, what is wrong with these people? Brynn asks to see Irulan's tattoos, so Irulan stands up, fully naked, and shows them off. Man, these girls are so skinny. They've got more visible ribs than a barbecue joint. In an interview, Trishelle says that Brynn is an attractive girl who gives off a lot of sexual energy. In an interview, Brynn says that she's had sex with a girl before and it was fun. Wow, thank you for telling me that. Brynn tells the others that she's going to get in trouble in the house and kiss someone. Trishelle asks whom Brynn will kiss, and Brynn answers, "Probably you." In an interview, Trishelle says she was thinking that Brynn was conceited, but she was also thinking that she was right. Again. What. Is wrong. With these people? Am I that old? Or that uptight? I just don't get it. I mean, yay, explore your sexuality, blah blah blah. But really. On national television? With people you've known for half a day?
In an interview, Brynn says that the girls were hoping the boys would show up, and suddenly the boys showed up with towels around their waists. The guys walk to the edge of the hot tub. In an interview, Brynn says that she was excited to "see stuff." Alton orders the girls to close their eyes, and then he pulls off his towel to reveal...shorts. All of the guys are wearing shorts. On the one hand, thank God that they are semi-normal. On the other hand, that hardly seems fair. In an interview, Arissa seems shocked that she lives with people who have no problem getting down in a Jacuzzi "with mad people watching." On the one hand, right on. On the other hand, she doesn't exactly have a bathing suit on at the moment. The roommates get out of the hot tub while trying to show minimal skin, and then report for their massages.
Frank tells Steven that he saw the girls get out of the hot tub, naked. Steven asks whom, and Frank says that it was mostly Trishelle, and he wasn't exactly protesting. Frank says that Trishelle is hot. Steven assures Frank that Trishelle is "on [his] jock." Okay, Tone Loc. In a confessional, Steven says that Frank and Trishelle have "a little thing for each other," and that he thinks it's cute. (Jealous.) Frank says that he'll be crying in the confessional when Steven hooks up with Trishelle. Steven assures Frank that Trishelle likes him.
In an interview, Frank says that he doesn't know if things will work out between him and Trishelle, because he's not aggressive. Frank and Trishelle hang out on a bed and talk. Frank puts his hand on the back of her thigh. Normally, I would think that was a pretty bold move for the first night, in a roommate situation. But later events will make me realize that I was sadly mistaken.
Morning. It could be the morning. It could be like three weeks later. Who knows? The guys go to the gym to work out while Elvis Presley sings about "Girls, Girls, Girls." Alton and Steven get Frank to admit that he likes Trishelle. Steven agrees to pass Trishelle a note after recess. Alton thinks that Frank and Trishelle have a connection. Steven demonstrates how Trishelle's body language suggests that she's into Frank. Steven must have been doing a lot of staring at Trishelle to be able to replicate her body language like that. In an interview, Steven says that Trishelle is a very sexy girl. Steven continues to assure Frank that Trishelle is into him. Frank says he's fine with that. Cue montage of Frank and Trishelle talking for, like, two seconds. Yeah, she's totally into him. In a confessional, Frank says that Trishelle is gorgeous, and he wouldn't be opposed to "doing something with her." Dude is so out of his league.
Brynn and Trishelle ride in a cab somewhere. Trishelle asks Brynn what she thinks about Frank. Brynn thinks he's a nice guy, and asks what Trishelle thinks. Trishelle -- who brought it up -- gets all offended that everyone thinks she's into Frank. ["That reminds me of this girl at my high school who was pale and short and had dark hair and would come up to you and go, 'Do I look like Winona Ryder?' And you'd go, 'Sure, I guess.' And she'd get all huffy and whine, 'Everyone always tells me that!' Really? Like, when you ask them directly? I hate that shit. But at least she was in high school at the time. Trishelle has no excuse." -- Wing Chun] Brynn says that Steven thinks Trishelle and Frank are cute together. So we've heard. In an interview, Trishelle says that Frank is a nice guy and has a lot of qualities she likes. That's known as damning with faint praise. Meanwhile, Steven (who is way too into this) assures Frank again that Frank's hooking up with Trishelle is a done deal. Frank looks like he wants to believe it but doesn't dare. Steven says that if Frank and Trishelle hook up, it will keep Steven out of trouble. In an interview, Steven (with a terrible hairstyle) says that hanging out with the guys will keep him out of trouble. Maybe that's why he works in a gay bar -- so he won't be forced to cheat on his wife. Trishelle tells Brynn that when she first saw Steven, she thought he was hot, but then she talked to him. Heh. In an interview, Trishelle says that Steven doesn't have all of the qualities she wants in a guy, but that he's cute. In an interview, Steven laughs and says that if he's hanging out with the guys, he won't be sticking his...nose in places where it doesn't belong. I've never seen a guy so in need of a cold shower.
Back at the suite, Arissa and Irulan have a chat. Arissa says that she's been employed since she was fourteen, and has never been fired, so she knows what it takes to get out there and work. I think she's the first Real World roommate with an actual work ethic. Arissa says she feels stuck because she doesn't have any money. Irulan tells her not to worry, because they are all broke, and they're in it together. In an interview, Irulan says (again) that she thinks she has a lot in common with Arissa. Irulan assures Arissa that she can always borrow twenty bucks or whatever, because Irulan grew up in the Projects too, and knows what it's like. In an interview, Arissa says that it feels better to share and know that she's not alone. Arissa says that she never thought she would meet someone so like her. Aw, I like the scenes of burgeoning friendships. Even though you know it will all go to shit in about ten more episodes, if that long.
Brynn, Steven, Frank, and Trishelle have lunch together. Boy, this isn't awkward. Frank is totally making eyes at Trishelle, who is staring at Steven. And then there's Brynn. Frank says that he just wants to have a great time for the four and a half months. Trishelle says that she wants to fall in love and have her heart broken. Everyone is like, "Why?" Trishelle says, "Oh, no reason. I just wanted everyone to pay attention to me." Okay, she didn't say that, but you know that's the reason. Brynn says that Trishelle should want to break hearts, not have her heart broken. Trishelle says that she has broken some in the past. In a confessional, Steven says he thinks that Frank and Trishelle will hook up. Steven tells Trishelle and Frank that he thinks they have a thing for each other, and that it's cute. I really hate him. He could not be more transparent. He knows that Trishelle is a bit rebellious, and doesn't ever want to do what people expect her to do. So if he keeps telling her that everyone expects her to hook up with Frank, she won't. He's driving a wedge. Crafty, but transparent. In an interview, Trishelle says she doesn't want to hook up with a roommate, but "if it happens, it's something that's out of [her] control. Hormones." Way to take responsibility for your life. Wouldn't it be great to watch these episodes with a commentary track by Dr. Phil? Sigh. Brynn guarantees that someone in the house will hook up. Steven says he knows it won't be him. Brynn says that she can seduce him. Steven says that if Brynn were walking around naked and told him to fuck her, he would. And even though Brynn's hot and has a beautiful body, she's not...Trishelle supplies, "...your type?" Do they realize that Brynn is sitting right there? Steven says that he's just not feeling it. In an interview, Brynn says that Steven rejected her and she's crushed. Who cares? He's a loser! Brynn wonders what is wrong with her. Haven't I been asking that for a while now?
Alton and Steven hang out in their bedroom and gossip like girls. Steven says that Brynn hates him now. Steven says that if he were single, he would sleep with all of the women in the house. Wait. I thought he was getting a divorce. So is he available? Steven says that he doesn't have chemistry with any of the women, but he'd still sleep with them. Alton agrees that Steven is a man. Ugh. Alton just went down, like, a notch. Brynn tells a friend on the phone about the Steven situation. In an interview, Brynn says that Steven thinks she's beautiful but that there's no chemistry, and it pissed her off because she can't handle rejection. But didn't Steven say he doesn't have chemistry with any of the women in the house? It's not like it's just Brynn. Well, apparently in Brynn's world, it is just her. It's all about her. Frank pretends he knows anything about women as he opines that Brynn is pissed off because Steven took away "the option," and now Brynn has lost control of the situation. The men agree that it's a power game. Brynn walks into the room, and they all shut up. Brynn dives into the bed with Alton, and he pretends to make out with her. In an interview, Alton says that there is definitely chemistry in the house, and that it's a matter of time before it is exposed. In an interview, Brynn says that she could turn Steven's head in "a million different directions." Ouch. That sounds painful. Steven tries to downplay his rejection. Brynn says that it's okay. In an interview, Brynn says that when she sees something she wants, she will have it. Brynn smiles. Steven smiles. I vomit.
The roommates page through Steven's wedding album. It's all romantic, which is kind of sad, and yet kind of funny. In an interview, Steven says, "My ex-wife gave me the tools to be happy for the rest of my life and gave me the desire to be a better person. That's better than anything." I don't even know what that means. In an interview, Brynn says she doesn't care that Steven was married and doesn't want to see "his bride." Because she's jealous. She doesn't say it, but you know that's why. Go ahead and take a drink. Trishelle asks why Steven got divorced, and he flippantly says that he knew he was going to meet Trishelle someday, so there was no reason for him to stay married. Trishelle giggles and asks Steven to help her off the bed. What is she, Anna Nicole Smith all of a sudden that she can't stand up under her own power? In an interview, Trishelle says that she can't believe that Steven was married, because he seems like such a player.
The roommates sit around and watch Alton remove polish from Brynn's toenails. I don't know. Trishelle says she wants to take a nap, and Frank says that he does, too. Steven nods like, "It is awwwwwn!" Trishelle invites Frank to take a nap in her room. Frank says he won't be able to sleep. Dude! I don't think she actually wanted to sleep. What a doofus. Steven yells, "You want to take a nap?" and jumps around on the bed like a monkey. He is way too excited about this. Trishelle gets up and walks out to take her nap. The other guys push Frank out of the room after her. In an interview, Alton says that Frank has no game, and Alton doesn't know what's up with that. Alton? Word. Trishelle and Frank get into bed together, fully clothed. Irulan stops by and teases them. In an interview, Irulan says, "Poor little Frank, with the puppy-dog eyes." In an interview, Frank says that taking naps with a girl is "flirtatious." You think? He is really just clueless. Frank hops into bed. Trishelle shows him a picture. He makes an inane comment about how she resembles a girl he knows from college. Trishelle's all ready for some spooning and rubbing and undercover action, but Frank completely misses the signals and keeps talking. Irulan tells Arissa that Frank and Trishelle are getting in bed together. Alton and Brynn get in bed together. Brynn says that guys are all about the nookie. Alton says that it's just about thinking about the nookie. Steven looks concerned. Steven jokes that it's not about sex, and that girls always make you have sex with them. Brynn totally misses that it's a joke. In an interview, Steven says that it's great just to hold women. Back to Frank and Trishelle. Frank is still talking. In an interview, Trishelle says that Frank always tells stories. Trishelle literally tells him to shut up, and Frank keeps talking. And talking. Trishelle falls asleep, and Frank is still talking. At one point, he starts talking about his dead grandmother. That's just sad. In so many ways.
The roommates get ready to go out. Trishelle asks Frank to cut a string that's hanging from her dress. They are going to Rain to "boogie down." The roommates all dance together. Frank and Alton head to the bar. Steven and Trishelle start dancing together, and then suddenly they're just making out. Not like a little kiss, but like full-on passionately making out. They break apart. Trishelle looks shocked. Steven points at her as if to say, "That was all you." Frank and Alton are still over by the bar. Steven and Trishelle start making out again. Brynn spots them and starts screaming. In an interview, Brynn says that she can't believe that Trishelle got Steven before she did. In an interview, Frank says that he and Alton were talking about what a great guy Steven was, and Frank was about to buy him a shot, and then he headed back to give the shot to Steven. Cut to a room where Frank is sitting between Trishelle and Steven on a couch. Steven and Trishelle are talking over Frank, who keeps looking directly into the camera like, "Kill me now." Trishelle says that she didn't do anything. Steven yells that he's drunk, and Trishelle kissed him. In an interview, Frank says that they were discussing how Steven kissed Trishelle, and then Steven said that Frank might not have seen them hook up. Mid-sentence, Steven just lunges over Frank and starts making out again with Trishelle, who isn't exactly resisting. Behind them, Frank looks at the camera and makes a motion as if he's shooting himself in the head. Trishelle is totally on her back on the couch, and Steven is lying on top of her, kissing her, while Frank looks on, disgusted. Finally, Frank pushes them apart as he gets up and leaves, slamming the door on his way out. I don't blame him for being pissed. Not that he owned Trishelle or something, but Steven was the one encouraging Frank to go for it and everything. What a dick move. I don't care if he was drunk. It was still a dick move. Again, I ask you: what is wrong with these people?
Frank stands in the bathroom and clenches his jaw. There's practically steam shooting out of his ears. The funniest part is that, behind him in the mirror, you can see some old dude at the urinal. I wonder if that guy signed a release. Frank stomps out of the bathroom. In a confessional, Frank says he thought that Trishelle was digging him, but it fell apart like everything else in his life. He has a lot of buried rage. Steven and Trishelle are still making out. In a confessional, Frank says that he completely misjudged Trishelle and Steven because "[Trishelle] is trash and Steven is trash." They intercut shots of Steven and Trishelle on the dance floor with some kind of bizarre sex show on stage. Steven tells Trishelle that they are going to hell.
Frank tells Alton what happened, and Alton can't believe it. Frank has red spots on his cheeks because he's so angry. In a confessional, Frank says that Steven only cares about himself. Frank asks Alton why Steven would shame him like that. Alton walks over and pulls Steven off Trishelle, who makes a "whatever" face. Alton tells Steven that Frank hates Steven right now. Steven screeches, "I'm drunk!" Alton says that Frank is "a real-ass person." Steven says he didn't mean any disrespect and wants to talk to Frank. Alton doesn't advise that. Steven rubs his nose a lot, and I'm not going to make any allegations, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions there. In an interview, Steven says that he's stupid and weak when it comes to women. Well, that's a choice that he makes.
Back up in the suite, Steven and Frank have a screaming match in the confessional. Trishelle listens outside. Frank says it's obvious that Trishelle wasn't into him, and that they don't need to debate that. Steven keeps asking if Frank thinks he meant to disrespect him. Yes? Frank says that Steven values hooking up with a good-looking girl more than his friendship with Frank. ["His deep, meaningful two-day friendship with Frank." -- Wing Chun] Trishelle walks in and asks them to stop. They all stare at each other for a while. Trishelle and Steven smile at each other goonily. They talk some more, but we unfortunately don't get to hear the conversation. Trishelle voice-overs that she doesn't want Frank to be hurt more than he already is. Frank asks why they made out not just in front of him, but also on top of him. In an interview, Steven says he's not sorry about his actions, but he's sorry about the way it happened. Shut up, Steven. Trishelle says that they're all just friends. Well, she missed out on the amount of time Steven spent convincing Frank that Trishelle was into him. Trishelle says that she's trying to be honest, and that they should be able to kiss whoever they want to. Trishelle grabs Steven's face and says that "it's there." They nearly start making out again. Frank says that he doesn't want them to be uncomfortable or feel like they have to hide anything from him. Steven points out that they weren't hiding anything. Frank asks them to leave so that he can piss himself and cry. Aw. And also, ew.
Irulan and Arissa are hanging out with some middle-aged guy who claims that he's "happily divorced." Well, if he wasn't before, I'm sure he will be as of 9 AM tomorrow. The guy bankrolls Arissa and Irulan at the blackjack table. They win money. I kind of thought Arissa was kidding about that older-rich-man thing. In an interview, Irulan says that she and Arissa have the potential to have an "amazing bond." The girls cash in their chips and each walk away with around $75. They return upstairs and share their good news.
Meanwhile, Trishelle and Steven are making out in the confessional. Trishelle sucks on Steven's thumb. This is like porn. Trishelle asks Steven if he wants to go to bed. She leads the way into her bedroom, wearing a black teddy. They slide into bed and start kissing. Frank angrily drinks a glass of water in the bathroom. I didn't know it was possible to drink a glass of water angrily, but I have seen it with my own eyes. Steven and Trishelle make out some more. In an interview, Frank says he thinks that sex should be shared between people who care about each other a lot. ["Or, at the most, three. And a camera crew. Oh, and a sound guy. And a tape logger. Actually, never mind." -- Wing Chun] Arissa walks through and comments on the sex noises coming from Trishelle's room. The girls go in and pull the blankets off the couple, who giggle and protest. Arissa points out that there are "mad cameras," so they should go ahead and "make [their] porn." So they can't say they weren't warned. Steven and Trishelle protest. In an interview, Steven says that Trishelle is sweet and beautiful. Brynn tosses a handful of condoms under the curtain in the doorway, and then stands outside and listens in. Frank angrily drinks some more water.
This season: Steven likes Trishelle because she's adventurous. Trishelle, Brynn, and Steven make out while people watch. Steven says you should always use condoms. Someone takes a pregnancy test. Steven says he's not ready to be a father. The roommates have a job where they throw parties. Surprisingly, they get docked pay and are told they have a terrible work ethic. They travel to Australia. Brynn might hook up with Irulan. Alton might be in love with Irulan. Alton hooks up with another chick. Brynn and Steven get in a fight. Brynn tells her mom that she threw a fork at one of her roommates. Steven tells Brynn that he wants her gone. Ooooooh! Looks like a winner. I leave you with one question. What the fuck is wrong with these people?