Previously, on the Real World: We start the theme of the episode off quickly (the theme being: no respect for continuity) with a clip of Melissa which has never been seen previously. She is whining on the phone to someone, saying that she doesn't know what to do. Then David says in an interview that Melissa's moods are strange. Then we get to see Melissa saying, "Time the fuck out!" and throwing the chair again, but I'm annoyed because I don't think that was an example of Melissa being strange; I think it was an example of Melissa having a warranted reaction to David's idiocy. In a confessional, Kelley says that if Melissa wants to get mad, she'll get mad. Julie adds, in a confessional, that Melissa is like a roller coaster, as she makes a helpful waving motion with her arm, for those of you who don't know what a roller coaster is. I guess probably Julie doesn't have newfangled technology like roller coasters or tilt-a-whirls in Provo, or Delafield, or the planet Neptune, which is where I'm convinced she grew up. Melissa shows her bloomers to the crowd in a bar, which was far from the worst thing she's done in public, and you'd think if they wanted to show how "crazy" she is, they would have used the footage of her stripping, holding dollar bills to her chest. In a confessional, Melissa says she is sad sometimes and happy sometimes.
So, this was mentioned in the forums, and it reminded me that I keep meaning to mention it in the recap. During the last bit of the opening credits, when the entire cast is dancing to the Dixieland-style band, Julie is not only wearing a ridiculous outfit, but her dancing style is scarily reminiscent of Elaine on Seinfeld. Did Matt give her dance lessons before the shoot?
The episode begins with some creepy electronic music, just to set the mood. I'm guessing they couldn't get the rights to "Crazy" by Patsy Cline or "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. Whatever happened to Jamiroquai anyway? He seemed like such a nice boy with that crazy hat and the Stevie Wonder rip-off vocals. We see the confessional, empty, and then suddenly Melissa is in it. But it's not the "current" Melissa -- it's the Melissa of about five episodes ago, with long hair. She's looking sad, and confused. Then they cut to the empty confessional again. Sad Melissa. Empty confessional. Confused Melissa. Empty confessional. What the fuck was that? I think someone has been watching too many Jim Jarmusch films or something. Longhaired Melissa is back, and she says that things in her life aren't always great, and that she's learned to cope with problems by suppressing them. Melissa and Kelley are watching a tape of Melissa's audition video. In a confessional, Melissa says that she is always laughing about her problems and making other people laugh about them, without ever really exposing the problem.
Julie has joined the other two in watching the audition tape. Audition Melissa says that growing up with her parents was funny, and that her father is a cross between the dad on Friday and George Jefferson. Then, the director actually employs a fade into a confessional scene, like maybe they should spend less time on their scene transitions and more time and money on getting someone to oversee continuity within and between episodes. In the confessional, longhaired Melissa is saying that she loves her father and he's all she wants, and she loves the good and the bad. Audition Melissa (can you keep all these Melissas straight?) is saying that she doesn't know how her parents stay together because their whole relationship is based on her dad making fun of her mom, and then her mom laughing it off or sometimes crying. Whew! What's that smell? Oh, it's Melissa's family's dirty laundry. Apparently, she's airing it out in public. Another film-school fade to a confessional, where Melissa says that her mother is the most selfless person in the world, and she loves her too. Back at the video-watching party, Julie points out that Melissa is totally ripping on her family. Man, the editors are working overtime this week. In that one scene, there were like three different Melissas from three different time periods.
Melissa and Jamie are eating at a restaurant. Melissa says that her father was "a very bad alcoholic," as opposed to those good alcoholics you see running around in the streets. This happened when she was young, and it meant that her home environment was "not exactly loving," and was "very traumatic." You know, all week when they kept showing that comment in the promos, I kept thinking that Melissa was going to disclose some sort of sexual molestation or something, but I couldn't figure out why I thought that. It's not like she said anything to give me that impression. I finally realized while watching the episode that it's because the restaurant they're in has that cheesy seventies rec room faux-wood paneling, much like the controversial Calvin Klein ads of yore that were pulled because they seemed too much like child pornography. I realize that I'm the only person whose brain works that way. I'm just relieved that there was some sort of actual cue to make me think that. Anyway, to give us some hints as to exactly how traumatic Melissa's childhood was, we see a traffic light turn red, then a shot of Melissa, then another red light, then Melissa. The editors are really scrounging for material this week. I guess another shot of a streetcar just wouldn't cut it. In an interview, Melissa says that her siblings and mother always had a "healthy fear" of her father when he was drunk, but she never did. Her sentence totally gets cut off practically in mid-word, leading me to believe that there was a lot more to that sentence which we will never see. Melissa tells Jamie that in the morning after her father had been drinking, they were a happy family again, and they didn't talk about it or ask for an apology, but just went on with their lives.
In an interview, Jamie says that Melissa's "roots are like nothing [he's] ever heard before" and that her "relationship with her parents is complete whacked." Jamie must be really sheltered. I mean, just about every friend I had growing up had an alcoholic in the family -- a brother, a father, a brother-in-law. And all of their stories sound eerily similar to Melissa's. I'm not saying that makes the situation any less traumatic for a child. I'm just saying that I've heard it before, many times. Melissa tells Jamie that her situation explains why she constantly tries to be funny, because it's her means of survival and the only way she has to deal with the things that plague her. Jamie says it's a "humor defense." I remember this from my high-school psychology class many moons past -- Melissa is exhibiting "mascot" behavior, trying to be funny or clever to deflect attention from the real problem and to keep people from getting angry. It's like Dysfunction Junction over there in Tampa. Melissa says that her father has given her so much, and that he's a good dad who has a problem. Frankly, if she can separate the behavior from the person, she's already doing a good job of healing, I think. Or, she's been to an Al-Anon meeting or five. Jamie tries to break open a crab of some sort and spurts it all over the place, lightening the mood. In an interview, Melissa says that Jamie makes her forget that she has problems and reminds her that she's a fun person. But isn't that what got her into this mess in the first place?
Matt walks into the house with a large package. The music says, "Oh my love, it's you I've been missing," so I think it must be something for his computer, especially since he was talking about making love to it in episodes. Come on -- if it was revealed that Matt was actually a cyborg, you wouldn't really be surprised, would you? Have we seen the "man" show an emotion yet? Besides smugness? Because that can be programmed. Anyway, the package contains Matt's low-rider bike, which is just sad in so many ways. Then it gets even sadder when he reveals that he has shoes to match his banana bike seat. Seriously, if I saw him riding that thing down the street, I would probably wet myself laughing. Can you imagine Matt, replete in coonskin coat and supa-fly sunglasses, riding that bike down the street? Then we never actually get to see Matt riding the bike (except the shot in the opening credits, which is not nearly long enough for entertainment purposes). Instead, Matt explains how he first saw that style of bike in a video, and the song for which the video was made was some sort of want-ad for a girl, and Matt feels like it was a want-ad he himself could have posted. And because I love you all so much, and because I'm honestly curious, and because you know I'm all about the research, I found the lyrics to the song. Here they are:
Melissa is now talking to Danny about her problems. She says that she has suppressed everything for twenty years, and that things happened in her childhood to make her who she is today. In an interview that we actually haven't seen before, Danny says that Melissa had a bad relationship with her dad and covered it up, and now that she has time to sit around and think about it, it's getting to her and she's going off the deep end. Melissa tells Danny that she tells herself not to be sad, and that she's scared to be sad, and when it happens, it freaks her out. To illustrate how freaked out she is, we get some more shots of red traffic lights, and then some crosses. Hope you enjoyed Danny this week, because that's about the extent of his appearance in this episode.
Melissa is on the phone with her mom. She says, "I can't help it." Then there's a voiceover, but they're kind of trying to make it out like she's saying it on the phone. She says that she thought she was strong enough to be funny the whole time. Then she really does ask her mom if she's going to die and puts her head down on the desk, revealing what looks like a gigantic bald spot. I tried to convince myself that it was just a matted down place in her hair, but I didn't really succeed. ["Maybe that's why she changed her hairstyle?" -- Sars] In a confessional, Melissa says that her problem is bigger than her, and she has allowed it to fester into something disgustingly big, bigger than anything she can handle. We get another film-school fade to Melissa telling her mom that she just wants to pack her shit and leave.
Melissa tells Kelley and Julie that she's comfortable enough in the house to really be herself, and that she doesn't like being herself. Which would mean that she's not comfortable, right? I've given up on trying to make sense of anything Melissa says at this point. Because she's crazy. In an interview, Kelley says that Melissa is dealing with issues in her life for the first time, and she's having a hard time accepting that she has problems to work out. Melissa asks Kelley if something would be missing from the house if she left. Kelley and Julie both say yes. I agree -- who would explain to Julie why it's bad to say "colored"? In an interview, Julie says that Melissa is a "dramatic personality," and that she gets upset about things quickly. Gee, thanks for the news flash. I didn't get that from her "time the fuck out" eruption. Julie tells Melissa that she can't leave.
Melissa and Kelley are sitting in the bedroom with a metric ton of makeup on the floor. Melissa says she was happy until she started dealing with this shit. Kelley says that she sees Melissa being happy, but then hears Melissa saying that she's unhappy, and she doesn't understand. Melissa says that she's happy when she's making other people happy, but she is not happy herself. Kelley doesn't feel that Melissa wants to solve the problem (i.e. she would rather just complain about it to everyone ad nauseam). Melissa says she hasn't dealt with the problem for twenty-three years and it's built up. Kelley mentions that Melissa thought she was depressed, but that Kelley has been depressed, and she went and got help and medication, and she's telling Melissa this so that she can see that people are going to be okay. That little tidbit just made me more interested in Kelley than ever before. In an interview, Kelley says that she doesn't have very high tolerance for people who aren't willing to try to change what the problem is. I like Kelley. I keep waiting every week to hate her, but it's not happening. Yet. Kelley tells Melissa that she is so wrapped up in herself that she's missing out on other things going on. Melissa realizes that her problem is bigger than herself. Go, Kelley! You tell her!
Melissa is talking to her sister Marlene on the phone. She says that the little things pile up and she freaks out, and she realizes it's not because she's having a bad day, but because her life is not in order. She's going to get help and doesn't want Marlene to tell their parents. Marlene asks why not, and Melissa says that she loves her dad and it would kill him if she told him that his alcoholism in her childhood affected her adulthood. Okay, that was actually kind of touching.
Melissa and Jamie are sitting by the phone, and Melissa wants to call a psychiatrist. In a confessional, Melissa says that she is trying to understand why she feels she has to have happiness all the time, and that it's wrong to be sad. Melissa gets on the phone and leaves a message saying that she needs a psychiatric evaluation ASAP because she's about to have a nervous breakdown. Okay, maybe that was a little melodramatic, but I bet she got a call back pretty quickly. Melissa arrives for her appointment and is led down some hallways. In a confessional, Melissa says that her goals are to work on loving herself for who she is. Yup, setting goals in the first session -- definitely therapy. Melissa continues, saying that "self-discovery is a bitch" and that it's a necessary evil so that she can be a happy person. She finally arrives at the office and the door is closed right in the camera, with a big sign that says private. Thank God, because I was so mad when the camera went into Ruthie's sessions last season. Good for Melissa for getting professional help. Nothing to be ashamed of there.