Before the episode starts, the screen goes black, and we see the following message: "Tonight's Real World deals with the complex issue of race relations in a frank manner. After the show, join us for an online chat. www.mtv.com." I think Melissa was the announcer, but I'm not sure. So, I'm expecting there to be big fireworks, and lots of heated conversations on tonight's episode, right? Or was that just a plug for MTV's website?
Previously, on the Real World: Melissa says she's always the weird one in the group. Does she mean because she's biracial, or because she's just plain weird? Jamie says that they all come from "really, really, really different walks of life." Melissa tells David that if he's going to like her, he has to know that she's half black, because to deny her father would bring on "a world of guilt."
In homage to last week's disaster of an episode, this one begins with a woman scatting while we see shots of the streets of New Orleans. At Belfort, Melissa is sitting on Jamie's lap at the computer desk. She tells him that she was talking to her friend on the phone, and telling her about Jamie, that she loves him and that he is a "beautiful, white, multi-millionaire" and Melissa is just "a brown piece of crap." Do you think Melissa has self-esteem issues? Also, in this scene, Jamie's head looks even larger than usual, probably because Melissa is so petite. Melissa continues recounting how her friend asked if she has tried anything with Jamie and Melissa told her she hasn't, and her friend said she was stupid. Then the gravitational pull of Jamie's Leery-esque head becomes too great for her, and she is drawn towards it, but she covers it up by kissing him on the forehead, so he doesn't feel bad about his deformity. That was kind of her. In an interview that we have seen before, Melissa says, "Why am I attracted to Jamie, aside from physical appearance?" and covers her face in embarrassment. Then she says she has to clean her glasses because they got so fogged up from sweating. I think she was sweating because she was nervous that she had to make up something attractive about Jamie to say. Back at the computer desk, Melissa says her friend asked her if her attraction to Jamie was bad, and Melissa replied, "It's bad, girl. I love him." This is getting embarrassing, especially since Jamie is just sitting there lapping it up, and not reciprocating in any way. It's almost as bad as Julie's googly eyes for Matt, but not quite. Jamie gives her a tiny kiss back. In an interview, Melissa finally answers the question posed earlier, and says that Jamie is "fun and spontaneous." Melissa teases Jamie that you can tell he doesn't have a girlfriend because he squirms when you touch his neck and ears, and that's what a girlfriend does. They do? Clearly, I have been lacking in my duties. I hope my boyfriend doesn't find out. Jamie relents and lets Melissa touch his neck while he studiously ignores her. She calls him a faker and reaches down and grabs his package. That part looked awfully familiar to me, so I rewind my tape to the "Melissa and Kelley vie for Jamie's affections" episode of a few weeks ago. Lo and behold, that last part was shown over the credits, just before Melissa chases the kilt-wearing Jamie around the house, singing, "Twig and berries!" Nothing like recycled footage to start off an episode on the right note.
It might be the day, or it might be two weeks later, or it might be two weeks earlier. I've given up on keeping track. But the producers showed the moon and then the sun, so they want you to think it's the day. Jamie tells Melissa to come outside and throw the football with him. Melissa says she's not dressed for it, but Jamie says it doesn't take any skill. First of all, thanks, and second of all, she didn't say she didn't have any skill. She said she wasn't dressed appropriately. Melissa is (as usual) desperate for attention from a man, so she follows him out the door, whining, "I don't want to play. It's hard." Jamie tells her that "nature sensei" says she has to throw the ball at least ten times. In an interview, Jamie says that Melissa thinks he knows everything about the outdoors. In another interview, Melissa explains that sensei means "someone who has mastered something," so she calls Jamie "nature sensei" because he has mastered nature. I did a little research, and although the term is usually used to refer to the head of a martial arts school, it can also mean "teacher" or "learned one," so I'll let it slide. Although, I am sure that their experience with the term sensei, like mine, comes from the Karate Kid movies. Outside, Melissa throws the football surprisingly well. Jamie says that her throw was "solid" and that she throws better than Kelley, which I guess was supposed to be a compliment. He throws the ball back, and Melissa makes the rookie mistake of reaching out for the ball instead of absorbing it into your body. I'm sorry, I can't help it. My father was a football coach. Anyway, Melissa jokes that she probably catches better than Kelley too, since the ball bounced off her outstretched hands. Melissa makes one last throw and says she's going in, and Jamie races her up the steps. He blocks the door so she can't get in, and she tells him he's "mean" and "a big, nasty bully." Oh, those crazy kids.
Melissa is on the phone making a hair appointment for Jamie because she thinks his hair looks ugly. It certainly looks better than it does in the opening credits. In an interview, Jamie says that "nature sensei" evolved into "beauty sensei," and Melissa is the latter. Melissa gets off the phone and tells Jamie he has an appointment, and that he'll pay twenty-five dollars, and give the stylist a five-dollar tip. I am once again angered by how much cheaper it is for men to get their hair cut than women, even if the length is the same. Don't even get me started on dry-cleaning. ["I feel you." -- Sars] Jamie protests that the price is "highway robbery." Where does he usually go, Supercuts? Actually, judging by his hair, he probably does. Melissa tells him that the hairdresser fit him in, and plus his hair is ugly, so he will pay, and then tells him to change his outfit. "Beauty sensei" Melissa is a lot bossier than regular Melissa. They pull out in their "company car." Suddenly, Jamie is in the hairdresser's chair, and she asks what prompted the haircut, which seems like a weird question. I don't know, because his hair was too long? Because he wanted a change? Why does anyone get a haircut, ever? Melissa sighs, "Finally, nature sensei takes time out for beauty."
In an interview, Jamie says his relationship with Melissa is different than any he's ever had, probably because she's a girl and he isn't sleeping with her, or ignoring her. He says their relationship is "weird and dynamic," but he likes it. We see a shot of Jamie in the chair again, and he has a huge zit underneath his ear. I'm sorry, but it's huge! I couldn't help but notice. In an interview, Melissa says that when she's with Jamie, "it's like free therapy," because she just lets go, and she loves him for that. They leave the salon, and Jamie says he likes his haircut. Melissa says in a faux-Asian accent, "Beauty sensei would not fail you." Jamie replies in the same vein, "I never doubt beauty sensei." I start to wonder if that's the "frank" discussion of "race relations" I was promised in the opening -- a white guy and a biracial girl doing Asian accents.
Jamie and Melissa (who are clearly the focus of this episode, since every scene thus far has been all about them) go to the airport, because Jamie's friends are coming to town for the weekend. In an interview, Jamie tells us that they are a "tight-knit crew" and they have "known each other since [they] were shorties." Did he just say "shorties"? I had to rewind the tape a few times to make sure. I thought "shorties" meant chicks, but I guess it means little kids too. Regardless, Jamie is way too white to say that non-ironically. At the airport, Melissa is introduced to Jamie's friends. In an interview, Melissa says that Jamie has a "network of boys who are his friends" and he never needed girls, "so why start now?" Suddenly, they are all in a bar somewhere, and one of Jamie's friends does a toast to the roommates for letting them stay. That scene was pointless.
Melissa, Julie, and Kelley are in the kitchen. Melissa tells Julie to get her a pudding. Julie does, and says that in her house, if someone asked you to do something like that, they would reply, "What color do I look?" Melissa asks if everyone in her house is fine with that, while Kelley says at the same time, "Out loud?" like it's okay to think that, but not to say it out loud. Julie doesn't seem to understand that it's not a cool thing to say at first. She says that if Melissa said it, it would be fine. Melissa replies that she "owns [her] blackness" and that Julie wouldn't say "the n-word" and she wouldn't say "the n-word," but when black people do it, Melissa doesn't have a problem with it. Julie asks why she can't say it, but Melissa can. In an interview, Melissa says that there are a lot of things that Julie doesn't know about other cultures or races because they are "not prevalent where she grew up." In another interview, Julie says that there are things she doesn't know, and that's why she came there, because she wanted to learn.
Melissa asks David, who just wandered into the kitchen, if he knows what she means, and that you have to own your blackness in order to use that word. Julie asks if she can "own her whiteness." David says she can say anything white she wants. Kelley is still in the room, but she does not say one word throughout this conversation. In a confessional, Julie says that this is a "good situation" because she has "six wonderful teachers and mentors." Melissa asks David if he thinks there is a difference between "N-I-G-G-E-R" and "N-I-G-G-A," and David says he does. Julie asks what the difference is. At this point, I cannot believe how uninformed she is, but it only gets worse. Plus, they are eating Valentine's Day candy, so my continuity meter goes off again. David says that the second one has been "adapted by the black community as communicatory-type stuff." Okay, "communicatory" is hardly a word. It's in the dictionary, and all, but come on. And following it with "-type stuff" negates the impact of using a big word in the first place. I wish someone had bought David a dictionary for Valentine's Day. Oh, I forgot, playas don't get Valentine's Day presents. David explains that by using the term, the community has turned a negative into a positive. There is so much more to this issue than what David explains, which frustrates me, and he could give examples like the gay community reclaiming words like "fag," or the hearing-impaired community reclaiming "deaf." Instead, he gives the example of him saying, "What's up, nigga? How you living?" being okay, but if Julie said, "What's up, niggerrrrrr," it would not be okay. Julie asks if it's okay for her to say, "What's up, nigga?" No, it's definitely not, and not just because it's offensive. See Jamie's use of "shorties" above. David says that when she says the word, it's "canceled out." Melissa explains that when she says it, she's no longer "a white girl," but the "oppressor, and people get in attack mode." Julie nods and starts to say something else, but stops. In an interview, David says there are lots of black people in the world, and Julie has not known any of them. Melissa has walked over to the phone, and we get our one glimpse of Matt in this episode, lurking in the background as usual. Julie says to David that her only exposure to "colored people" is on the television. David chuckles and says, "They do exist," but he doesn't correct her at all. I don't understand how Julie has watched television, or read a newspaper, or a book, or even had an American history lesson, and doesn't understand that the word "colored" is antiquated and offensive. Did she not learn about segregation? Hasn't every television show ever had an episode dealing with racism, no matter how heavy-handed it may have been? My God, even Little House on the Prairie had the episodes where Hester Sue was subject to racism. Even Sesame Street deals with these issues. What shows was she watching? Let me guess -- The Donny and Marie Show?
Then we see some shots of the art around the house, much of which features figures of black people, and I find these shots kind of offensive. Are they trying to say, "See, the producers aren't racist, because look at the artwork"? Are they trying to say, "Julie is surrounded by this artwork all the time, so why hasn't she had these realizations sooner"? Or are they just killing time? I guess we'll never know. Julie and Melissa are lying on Melissa's bed, continuing the conversation. Julie is telling some story about how whenever her family saw "a colored person" walking down the street, they would cross to the other side. Melissa interrupts to say that it's "insane" that Julie still uses the word colored. Julie asks if it's bad. Melissa says it is "archaic and horrible." In an interview, Melissa says that her first reaction is to say, "Where have you been living?" In another interview, Julie says that it's frustrating to be the only one in the house that is constantly having to look like an idiot as she's exposed to more and more new things that she doesn't understand. What is up with all the back-to-back interviews in this episode? That's like the third one. Melissa says that she has an understanding that Julie has "no clue about blackness." In an interview, Julie says that she doesn't know anything about so many things, and she doesn't understand why that is. Julie tells Melissa that she's learning more in this conversation than she did in four years of high school and three years of college, and "that's disgusting." In an interview, they make it out like Melissa is responding to what Julie just said, as she says, "Damn right!" and then says that she would be upset too if she discovered that she knows nothing. Melissa says that Julie is twenty years old and that there are things that are "common American knowledge" that her community shut out. Julie starts crying. Melissa says that now that Julie knows, it's her responsibility to reach out and find the information. Julie cries, "I feel like I've been cheated." Then she says some other stuff, and finishes up with that popular five-year-old's closer, "It's just not fair!" Melissa agrees that she has been cheated and that it isn't fair. Julie says she doesn't think she's closed-minded, and then breaks into sobs, while the song in the background says subtly, "We are so much alike." Julie manages to say, again, "But it's not fair!" The one little part of my heart that is not black as coal feels bad for her, because it honestly isn't her fault. But the rest of my dark, dark soul just thinks she's being a big, whiny baby.
Julie, Kelley, and Danny are at the "Audubon Zoological Garden," sitting at a picnic table and eating some ice cream. Kelley asks Danny if the girls' or boys' soccer team turned him on more (in high school, presumably). Danny says that he wasn't thinking about it then. Julie suggests that he was "asexual." Danny says that's not it, that he just went with the flow and that the other guys liked girls, so he did too. It never crossed his mind until he was in college that he might be gay. Julie suggests that he didn't recognize that he wasn't "feeling intensely" for women because he didn't know what it was supposed to feel like, which is surprisingly perceptive for her. Danny says he had never experienced being with guys, and how "awesome" that was. In an interview, Julie says that Danny has opened her mind to his "lifestyle," and that she never would have tried to understand before she met him. She earns a deduction for use of the word "lifestyle," but at least she didn't say "agenda." In another interview, Danny says that hopefully by the end of "The Process," Julie will be as comfortable with him as the rest of them. Back at the zoo, Julie and Danny wade into the fountain. Then, they leave and Julie's pants are soaking wet, but she doesn't care because she learned something today.
Julie, Kelley, and Danny are preparing for bed. Julie asks Danny if he's sleeping with her. He gets in her bed, under the covers, and Julie jokes that she wishes he wouldn't sleep with her tonight because he's "so rank." He rests his head on her chest and grabs some part of her under the covers, causing her to squeal and tell him to "watch his paws." Kelley rolls her eyes. Julie giggles and pretends to slap Danny, calling him a "bad homosexual." Danny rolls his eyes and says, "Somebody, please shoot me." Brother, I feel you. Then he mocks Julie, saying "bad homosexual" in a high-pitched voice. Julie giggles some more, and you can tell she thinks she is really, really bad right now because she is in bed with not just a man, but a gay man. She puts her pillow in between them, calling it "the chastity pillow," like doesn't she get that Danny is not about to make a move on her? In a confessional, Kelley says that she thinks Julie is someone who is open-minded and really came there to grow. They show one final shot of Julie and Danny in bed, and Julie still has her jeans on, plus she is practically falling out of bed in her desire to be as far away from Danny as possible. I think she still has some growing to do.
Melissa, Julie, Jamie, and Jamie's friends get into the company car. Melissa says she wants to sit by boys. Shut up, Melissa! In an interview, Jamie says that when he and his friends go somewhere, they want to do whatever is local. Because they are authentic. They like flavor. Or should that be "flava"? We see shots of rural Louisiana, including two inexplicable shots of very old African-American men. Jamie voice-overs that they are going to "cruise out" to take an airboat swamp tour. Melissa says that their surroundings look like "Huckleberry Finn" and then says that all she sees are "barefoot white children with Kool-Aid moustaches and no front teeth" and then she says something about how their teeth are never going to grow in. Again, shut up, Melissa! This episode is starting to reach the Melissa breaking point where funny Melissa morphs into annoying Melissa. Jamie points out a Confederate flag, and Melissa says that she knew she shouldn't have come. Dude, you can practically hear "Dueling Banjos" start up. I don't think Melissa is the one who needs to watch her ass, if you know what I mean. Although I would get some sort of sick satisfaction from seeing Jamie being made to squeal like a pig.
They arrive at the swamp boat tour place. Melissa tells Julie that there are too many animals around. They meet their guide, and strangely all there is to him is a torso, arms and a head! I can't believe no one commented on this! Then the light changes a little, and it is revealed that he is wearing camouflage pants. Oh, that explains why I couldn't see his legs. Those camouflage pants are tricky. Jamie asks Camo Guy if anyone has ever died on these tours. Camo Guys says that the only people who get bitten are the ones that steal alligator eggs, like he does. He is getting increasingly charming by the minute. Melissa says that she would rather have a Pap smear than go on this tour. Oh, okay. Heh. They are all loaded onto the boat, and the cameramen must have made Jamie, Melissa, and Julie sit in the front, because who cares about Jamie's friends? They are speeding along the swamp, and Melissa has her eyes covered while zydeco music plays. Jamie tries to get Melissa to look. They see a woodchuck, and the guy doubles back and starts poking the woodchuck's hole with a stick. Suddenly, he sticks his arm in there and pulls it out by the tail, then holds it up in the air. Jesus, and PETA is worried about Survivor! Melissa screams. Camo Guy says that the animal has big front teeth. Julie thinks this must mean it's part of her family tree, and she whips out her camera to take pictures. In an interview, Jamie says that Camo Guy was talking about some birds in the swamp, and he said, "That's a red-beaked nigger stork." Jamie must watch a lot of Ally McBeal, because he uses their "needle scratching across a record" scene-stopping example. But we never actually see the footage of Camo Guy saying that. In true Bunim-Murray tradition, since it would be easier to actually see what happened, they don't show it, and instead give us ten different versions of the story. I refuse to believe that they didn't get it on tape, because they get Melissa's immediate reaction, which is to tell Jamie that the ride is now free, because she's offended.
In the car on the way home, Jamie says that their guide was "a nice man." Melissa says sarcastically, "Yeah, aside from the racial slurs, he was great." In an interview, Jamie says that the guy was really nice, and he doesn't think the slur was directed at anyone. Oh, like that makes it okay. If I walk down the street shouting out racial epithets, it's fine, as long as I don't direct them at anyone. I'll be sure to try that sometime soon. Jamie tells Melissa that she always has "a bias" and that it bugs him. Jamie is totally trying to be the big man in front of his friends. Melissa says that maybe it doesn't offend him that "people throw around 'nigger' on a tour that you pay for" but it offends her. I don't know what the fact that they had to pay for it has to do with anything. If they had gotten a free tour, does that mean that it's open season on minorities?
In an interview, Melissa says that Jamie was making an "impossible request" that she forget everything she's ever known "about the n-word" and "just go with the flow," but she can't do that. Melissa tells the carload of people that "there is no excuse for that type of language, especially when he's living in a community where black people co-exist with him." I think she was trying to subtly let Julie know that she's still cool with her. But really, I think there is no excuse for that type of language, ever. I don't understand how you can live in this country and not know that it's not okay. It's like when I was in college, and we used to have these black squirrels on campus, and one day this idiotic girl whom I barely knew saw one, and squealed, "It's a nigger squirrel!" I turned to her and said, "Why would you think it's okay to say that?" Because really, why would she? I just don't get it. But I digress. Jamie says that he doesn't think Melissa should let it ruin her day. The weird thing is, Jamie's voice says this, but you can see him sitting behind Melissa and his mouth moves, but it doesn't match the words. I rewound like five times to check, and it's true. So I don't know what was up with the editing there, but it was messed up. In an interview, Melissa says that the fact that Jamie brushes it off hurts her, and she doesn't want to deal with him anymore.
They arrive back at Belfort, where Danny and Kelley are sitting on the steps. Jamie's friend tells them that they went "alligator hunting," which is only true if by "hunting" you mean "looking for but not finding." And I guess it does mean that, in a sense. Melissa brushes past them and says that they went on an airboat tour and the driver of the boat was "a complete racist asshole." Jamie's other friend comes back out, wearing a Burger King crown, and gives Kelley and Danny the story, but his attitude is kind of like, "It was no big deal and I don't know why Melissa is so upset." He even says that she was "going crazy." Here's my take. I think Melissa was shocked and upset when the guy said it, but if everyone else had been upset too, she would have been fine. When everyone else kept telling her to blow it off, she just felt worse, and that's why she got so upset. And I don't blame her. Friends are supposed to be supportive.
Melissa and Julie are in Melissa's bedroom. Melissa says that everyone should have been offended by the tour, and that if you understand that racism is bad, then there was nothing funny about what that man said. In an interview, Julie says that the "pain and hurt" in Melissa's eyes made her realize that she has to "deal with it all the time" and it "became so real." Julie says that this is stuff she never thought about. Melissa says that the man doesn't bother her as much as Jamie's inability to understand why it offends her, lending credence to my theory. In an interview, Melissa says that what Jamie did really hurt her and the fact that he can't understand it hurts her more. Danny is suddenly in the bedroom too. I guess it is his bedroom, though. He says that when you are "of the majority," you can't understand the minority. He's been on both sides, and earlier in his life he was on "the lucky side," but then he stepped to the minority side and now he understands. In an interview, Julie says she was having "flashbacks of things [she] said before she came" and they "make [her] really sick." Melissa says that ignorance is inexcusable, and that she's had to excuse so many people in her life, and it gets tiring. Julie asks slowly if it's someone's fault that they don't know, like she's not talking about herself.
Instead of seeing Melissa's answer, they cut to a totally different time, because everyone is in different positions in the room, and Danny is saying that his attitude is "Screw 'em" because he has no time for ignorance. Julie says that she thinks that mentality won't get anyone anywhere, and they will never have a positive influence if they are just like, "Screw 'em!" Melissa says she doesn't have time to fight ignorance or change people who are ignorant, and that she has "tried and tried and tried with no results." Julie says emotionally, "What are you talking about, no results? Look at me!" Danny says that she's "one percent of the population." Julie sits up and says, "One person makes a difference, don't you understand that? Look at the influence you have on one person. It's profound." First, when did Julie become such a little drama queen? I think she's been hanging around Melissa too much. Second, I dig what Julie is saying, and I understand why she might be a little offended even, but she's not looking at the bigger picture. If Melissa had tried to tell the boat driver that she was offended, would it have had any effect? Most likely not. He might have even apologized, but you know in the back of his head, he would have had his worst stereotypes confirmed. Some people are never going to change. One of the reasons Danny and Melissa can have such an influence on Julie is because she is getting to know them outside of their minority status. Melissa isn't just "Biracial Girl" to her -- she's a funny and sassy friend, but that happened over a matter of weeks. Oh, for crying out loud, why am I giving you a lecture in a recap? Go watch American History X or something, if you want something that will provoke thoughts about race in America. I'm going to stick to the funny stuff. Melissa says something that was really long, but basically boils down to that she always goes to bed feeling oppressed and that ignorance is here to stay. She emphasizes the words "here to stay" but hitting her hand on the nightstand real hard.
Melissa is on the phone with her father, Shorty. Maybe that's who Jamie was referring to earlier? Melissa tells her father that the man who ran the swamp boat was racist, and repeats the whole story. Her father says that might have been the bird's name. Melissa insists that it wasn't, and seems kind of disappointed that her father isn't more upset. Not that Melissa's distress wasn't real, and I think she has every right to be offended, but given her father's age, he's probably seen incidents of racism that she can't even imagine. Melissa says that the other people on the boat "thought it was bad of him to say," but they thought it was funny, and there's nothing funny about that, and that no matter what you are, you should be offended. Her father says that she should talk to her friends. In an interview, Melissa says that at first, she was planning on only having fun with Jamie, because "he has no way to discuss negative things," but then she thought that might not be fair, so she decided to approach him.
Which lead us to our scene, with Jamie and Melissa talking in a bedroom. Melissa says that it was a ridiculous request for her to "laugh it off," because she can't. She thinks Jamie is "so smart and well-read, and [he] might even be black on the inside" but he can't understand why she would be upset about this incident, and she's scared. Jamie grunts something in response. Melissa says she's scared of what his response will be. Jamie says he's sorry if he wasn't "compassionate and understanding," but he doesn't want to see her sad or angry, or let it get to her because if it ruins her time and experience, "it's like the racist mind won." He can understand why she has to be angry -- not deeply understand it, but he's getting there. In an interview, Jamie says he "doesn't completely understand the feeling a person gets as a minority and the subject of racism," but he's trying. I actually liked Jamie there for a minute. I'm sure it'll pass, though. ["Me too. And...me too." -- Sars] Melissa says that she really likes him and she thought it was asking a lot of her to not talk about it, because it's part of her life. In an interview, Melissa says that the whole racial situation was a catalyst for her understanding how Jamie feels about her, and how she feels about him. They sit across from each other and hold hands. Are we supposed to think they are like a couple now? What did that mean? Melissa tells him she was disappointed that it came from him because she likes him. Do you think Melissa likes Jamie? I'm not sure, but I wish she would say something if she does. In an interview, Jamie says that she's shown him that people are sad, angry and have these feelings and they're justifiable. I expect to see a closing message that goes something like this: So concludes today's after-school special, "Racism Is Bad." Join us in coming weeks for more subtlety, when we air shows like "Sexism Is Bad" and "Homophobia Is Bad." Then, join us for a chat on mtv.com, where hundreds of users with handles like "EL33T_KR3W" and "LUV_BSB" will post inane and poorly-spelled sentences, and will most assuredly abbreviate "too" as "2" and "for" as "4." I'm sure that will improve race relations in this country.
week: David is producing the episode of their show. Danny complains that he's not telling them what to do, or even what the show is about. David says that his roommates want him to fail. Wait, you mean David is doing something wrong and then turning it around and blaming everyone but himself? Stop the presses! Danny says that David is being a huge hypocrite, and then tells David that nobody in the room will lecture him.
Over the credits, Danny gets a boner at the zoo, and can't stand up. Kelley catches on pretty quickly, but unsurprisingly, it takes Julie like ten minutes to figure out what's going on.