Previously on Real World: Annoying picks up the middle-aged keyboard player for a local band, and he spends the night. Wonder Bread says, "Every time a guy is presented to our household, Amaya falls for him. How does one's heart go from man to man so easily?" I wonder why he can't talk like a normal human being. Maybe he's been hanging around Tetanus Girl too much -- but wait, that comes later. Annoying talks to her parents on the phone about Ruthie. Ruthie tells us that Annoying is shutting her out. Annoying says Ruthie is being petty and lame.
Colin has another friend visiting. Have you noticed that Colin and Ruthie are the only ones who have friends come to visit? If I were in Hawaii, I think all of my friends would come out, you know? Anyway, Colin is showing him around the house, and we find out the visitor's name is Tony and that he and Colin have known one another since the sixth grade. Colin introduces Tony to Annoying. Big mistake. Huge. In a confessional, Annoying says, "Tony's cute. He's got that lean, almost swimmery [sic]-looking physique." Tony and Colin are getting the surfboards to go hit the beach and Annoying is hanging out in the hammock, watching them. Boy, she's not subtle at all, is she? She tells us that she's getting "wonderful, wonderful vibrations" from Tony and then says, "Oh my God, that sounds sooooo bad!" I can't believe she actually has a sense of shame after last week's vaginal blister episode. I mean, I would far rather say that someone gave me good vibrations than discuss genitalia problems. Colin and Tony head off to the beach and I notice that carved on the railing, it says "R (HEART) K." Is that Ruthie loves Kaia? Did Ruthie do that when she was drunk one night?
Tony and Colin surf. Little girls squeal at the sight of Colin with no shirt. In a confessional, Colin says that his advice to Tony regarding Annoying was, "Yeah" (as he makes a big thumbs-up sign and then turns it upside down) "Not really! She is a big negative. Don't do it."
Ruthie is on the phone with Malo, who invites Ruthie over to pick up a present. Ruthie tries to guess what the present is while Teck totally listens in on the conversation. These people need to get a cordless phone so they can go hide in the closet while on the phone or something. I know the producers can tap the phone lines. I wonder if they can also read e-mail? They must. I'm surprised that hasn't come up. Anyway, Ruthie guesses that Malo got her a car and then agrees to come over and see what it is. Teck says he wants nothing to do with Malo, and hopes she and Ruthie are happy, unless of course Malo flirts with him. I think the crew cracked up when Teck said that. That's the last time we see Teck until the closing credits. Ruthie goes to Malo's apartment and Malo gives her a CD single of the song "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer. Anyway, Ruthie plays the CD and they lie in bed and talk without making any sense, as usual. Then Ruthie gets up and tells us in a voice-over that any relationship is out of the question right now, and she leaves the building. Also, Malo looks exactly like Laura Ballard from Homicide.
Annoying and Tony are eating cereal and reading horoscopes out of some magazine. What is with Annoying and the astrology? Meanwhile, Colin is sitting at the computer, trying to ignore them. To everything Annoying says, Tony replies, "That's kinda true." He doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that she clicked with Tony instantly. Colin tells us that it's obvious to him that those two are going to hook up. They read horoscopes some more.
Tony and Annoying walk along the wall in the surf. My boyfriend thought they were going to be sucked out to sea and he started cheering. Alas, they reach the beach safely. In a confessional, Colin tells us that Tony becomes idiotic around women. Then he says, "You don't stand in line for seconds. Your best friend's already been there. He puts women in front of his friends and that's pathetic." I do think it was mean of Tony to ignore Colin when he was supposed to be visiting him, but Colin is getting a little too fired up about this for someone who doesn't care anymore. Tony also may be missing the top of his skull. You wouldn't know because he always wears a baseball cap.
Colin, Annoying and Tony swim in the pool. Annoying tells us that Colin liked her but he couldn't open up to her about it so it's hard for him to see his friend show interest. Keep telling yourself that, Annoying. Colin tries to put out the poolside volcano by yelling at it. Believe it or not, he is not successful. Annoying tells us she doesn't want to hurt Colin, but that he's slowly getting bitter. Colin says, "It doesn't take a lot to attract Amaya to a guy. It's amusing to hear her say, 'I don't know, we just clicked.' You click with anybody with a twig and berries." Hee! It's sad but true. That night, Annoying is in the bed in the middle of the living room and Tony crawls in while Colin is on the phone. Colin goes to bed as well. Annoying says (again) that she isn't trying to make him jealous. The lights go out and we hear Annoying giggling, then some kissing noises and then Annoying kind of moans and it's a good thing there's a commercial because I run to the bathroom and get sick.
The morning, the alarm clock goes off and Annoying turns it off. Annoying tells us that they fell asleep talking and nothing happened. Annoying and Tony get up and get dressed. Tony goes in to say goodbye to Colin, who is dead asleep. I find it kind of strange that Annoying is taking him to the airport or wherever. In a confessional, Colin tells us that Tony's hooking up with Amaya isn't a big deal, but he told him not to and he did it anyway. He hopes that Tony will learn not to put women before friends. While I agree that friendship is important and Tony acted like a jerk, I think Colin is a little too attached to his male friends. Annoying drives Tony somewhere (it doesn't look like the airport) and they hug goodbye.
When Annoying returns, Tetanus Girl and Wonder Bread are waiting for her. As soon as she's in the door, Tetanus Girl asks her what she did last night. Tetanus Girl is lying on the hardwood floor -- yeah, that looks comfy. Annoying says that she "chilled." Wonder Bread says, "Chilled -- a word which means many, many things in this house." Hey, Wonder Bread, who asked ya? Annoying says she went in the hot tub. Tetanus Girl says, "Not alone." Why are they all in her business? If Colin wanted to be, that would make sense. But I don't know who appointed these two the hookup police. Annoying says she doesn't know if she was alone, trying to evade the question. Tetanus Girl says, really meanly, "You do know -- either you did or you didn't." Okay, counselor, could you approach the bench? Why is Annoying on trial? And why am I defending her? Oh, I can't wait until this season is over. Anyway, Annoying says she did go in the hot tub alone. Tetanus Girl tells us in a confessional that Annoying purposely tried to hurt Colin and it disgusts her. What. Ever. Annoying looks shocked at the busybodiness of her housemates.
Ruthie, Colin, Tetanus Girl and Wonder Bread are eating lunch at some restaurant. It appears they have called to order the first meeting of the "Trash Amaya" club. ["I assume that Kim's invitation was lost in the mail." -- Wing Chun] Colin says that he assumes that people are smart enough to see through her crap. Wonder Bread says it took him a while because he gave Annoying every opportunity and tried to be nice and then found out about that she "talks crap." ["Considering the source, that is very ironic." -- Wing Chun] Colin thinks that most people in the house have tried to be nice but it doesn't work. Wonder Bread says that he was nice but it turned negative. Actually, he is usually pretty mean to Amaya. The only time he was remotely nice is when he was trying to tell her that Colin was dicking her around. Colin says that every opportunity to be nice turns into Annoying's talking trash about you or her trying to screw you. While I do think Amaya is Annoying, I don't think she is particularly vindictive, and I don't get where all this is coming from. Tetanus Girl tells us that Colin is happy he learned a lesson, but he's upset that it was in front of others. Throughout this episode, Tetanus Girl tells us what Colin is thinking. What, does she have some sort of Being John Malkovich pipeline to his brain? Wonder Bread says that "Tony the Tiger was all for cuddling." Matt, shut up. Tetanus Girl has on a halter top that ties around the neck with a regular bra so that the straps are hanging right out. That looks classy. She says, "It wasn't like...no one was confused it was like, a special moment." Again, what the hell is she talking about? Wonder Bread says, "You don't cuddle with a guy frequently, like the guy, and then the moment his friend comes to town, attempt to bang around with him." This morality lesson has been brought to you by Wonder Bread.
Annoying turns to Tetanus Girl, who acts like she wants nothing less than to have a conversation with Annoying, yet she didn't leave the room. Instead, she stood right there while Annoying was talking to Wonder Bread, just waiting for her chance to get some camera time. Tetanus Girl proceeds to act all fake-dramatic, I think on purpose to make fun of Annoying. It bugs me. Annoying asks what she has done to Tetanus Girl that is causing something so negative. In a confessional, (and one that was used extensively at the beginning of the season I might point out), Tetanus Girl says something about being sick of Annoying and Colin and all the drama. Tetanus Girl and Wonder Bread start joking around as if Annoying isn't even standing there, talking about how no one wants to talk to her. In a confessional, Tetanus Girl says that she's acted this way all along and she is surprised that Annoying is shocked. Annoying talks to Colin who says she shouldn't talk about him behind his back because no one likes her and they will always take his side. Could they be any meaner at this point? Colin says that he kept his complaints about their relationship to himself and she should have as well. Annoying says she wasn't trying to make Colin look bad, and that doing so was never her intention. Then she lays it all out on the table: "I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry. I want to be your friend again." Colin says he accepts her apology but he doesn't want to be her friend. Annoying says, "I can't believe this. I cannot believe this." A sign flashes on the screen: To Be Continued...
week: Wonder Bread thinks the last show at Local Motion should be about "us," but I don't know what that means. Annoying is ready to go home, and she demonstrates it by hiding behind ugly curtains. Wonder Bread and Tetanus Girl have a secret: they're actually robots. Or they are having some sort of relationship and I'm just warning you right now -- they kissed in the preview! Ew! Ew! They are all sitting around and Colin yells that Tetanus Girl wants Wonder Bread and everyone laughs and Wonder Bread is wearing the GREEN SHIRT! I swear, they put that episode together just so that I would have a rough last recap.
Over the credits: Tetanus Girl takes photos of Teck (in his second appearance this episode) jumping into the pool, and he flashes her.