Previously on The Real World: Colin admires Ruthie's strength and is glad she came back. Ruthie is curious to know what her other roommates think about her, but she won't ask them. Annoying definitely doesn't want Colin anymore. So this episode will be about Colin and Ruthie's friendship, and Annoying's attempts to move on. I would also like to say how pleased I am that this season is almost over, because I don't know how much more of these morons I could take. Also, if you missed any episodes, MTV is holding a marathon on November 6th, so check your local listings.
The episode opens with a band playing at Local Motion. The band is called "The Hawaiian Style Band" and they play a song called "Hawaiian Style." Annoying tells us that she spotted "a very nice young man" playing keyboards in the band. I don't know who she's looking at, but the man I'm looking at is definitely not young. I would guess he's thirty-five at the outside, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was forty. Not that forty is old, but it's definitely not young. Unless you're Wonder Bread, the seventy-five-year-old man. But I digress. The "young" man's name is Michael. Tetanus Girl tells us that she will "check out this dude" for Annoying. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that she and Tetanus Girl are very different people. Annoying is more of a "maternal soccer mom." As opposed to a paternal soccer mom, I guess. Tetanus Girl is more of a "crystal lady." But they are allies, now. I find it telling that she said "allies" instead of friends, since it seems they have united to defeat a common enemy -- Ruthie! When Michael the "young" keyboard player wraps up his show, Annoying takes off at a full sprint to catch up with him. She asks him when his birthday is. He says September 12, so he's a Virgo. Hey, me too! Annoying says she's really cheesy, and I laugh and laugh. But I guess she meant she was cheesy because she believes in astrology. Well, that's true too. Annoying tells Michael that she's going to give him her phone number, and then they'll go out to dinner, and then run wildly away together. Really, she said that. I thought I was bossy! Michael agrees. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that she's been avoiding other guys who have been asking her out, and put her life on hold, and she thought she had a good reason. In case we missed the point, they show a shot of Colin. Tetanus Girl tells her to "get on that, girl," and Annoying yells as loudly as she can, "I'll get on that!" and then looks around to make sure Colin heard her.
True to her word, Annoying is washing her sheets. Wonder Bread is doing dishes and being all nosy, as usual. He asks when her follow-up date is. Annoying says that it might be tonight. Wonder Bread asks, "No standard three-day break?" Is that one of The Rules? I never heard of the three-day break. Annoying says "Whatever." In a confessional, Wonder Bread tells us that Annoying is trying to move beyond Colin and has gone from a "tear-filled reaction" to "strong, heartfelt attraction" to the keyboardist. Wonder Bread tells Annoying she should invite Michael over for dinner and Annoying suggests they clean up before having people over. Wonder Bread tries (and fails) to kill a bug. They go on a big cleaning spree, which includes Wonder Bread vacuuming the pool table.
Annoying invites Michael over for margaritas. Michael says, "Margaritas?" Annoying says that their house looks quite inviting now. Michael says, "Quite inviting?" Is there an echo in there? Michael comes over. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that she feels "like a school. Girl." She pauses for a long time between "school" and "girl" and it's annoying. She tells Wonder Bread that she's moving on while she puts the clean sheets on her bed. Michael arrives and accepts a margarita. Annoying asks him who wrote a particular song done by his band that she likes, and he admits that he did. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that Michael's shy. Even though she normally talks a lot, she talks even more around him. Back at the house, Annoying blabbers on some more about Virgos and relationships. In a confessional, she tells us that it's refreshing because he doesn't insult her like someone "I was retardedly [sic] involved with." They go outside and sit on the wall. Annoying says that she's buzzed and Michael says he is too. Annoying tells him he can spend the night. In a confessional, Annoying says that he's sweet and she remembers why she likes going out with older guys. Yeah, a lot older. They go into the bedroom and get in bed together, and Michael is still fully dressed.
Colin and Ruthie wake up and go snorkeling. Colin says he enjoys having a good time with Ruthie because "there's no BS." How many times in this episode has Colin told us that he has a good time with Ruthie? Answer: Too many.
Annoying looks pouty and tells Tetanus Girl that she has a bad feeling. In a confessional, Annoying says she has a personal problem and that Tetanus Girl is someone she really needs right now. I don't get what she means by personal problem. She's constipated? What? Annoying tells Tetanus Girl that she has never seen "anything like that before." What? A mole? Tetanus Girl says maybe it would ease her fears to talk about it. Annoying says she has a blister. Well, I get those all the time! See, I bought these new sandals and...oh wait, I think she means something very different. Tetanus Girl asks if she wants to show it to her (ew!) and Annoying says no, that she will get an appointment.
Annoying is on the phone with Pam and tells her she has to get an appointment. I wish she would just say "gynecologist." Annoying says that "something cropped up." Wonder Bread is sitting there, totally eavesdropping on her conversation and I don't know why Annoying doesn't give him a "Do you mind?" Wonder Bread goes skipping into Tetanus Girl's room and asks why women go to the gynecologist. If I were her, I would've said something like, "They go when they have nosy roommates who don't mind their own beeswax." Instead, Tetanus Girl says, "To find out if something they're feeling or experiencing is strange." Wonder Bread asks her to be more specific. Instead of telling him to get out of her face, Tetanus Girl continues, "Pregnancy..." and Teck interrupts, "Vagina infection." Heh. Wonder Bread asks why you would need to go to a doctor right away and Teck says, "Burning sensation. Blood in the urinary tract. I know about gynecologists." I think he meant blood in the urine, but whatever. Tetanus Girl finally tells Wonder Bread that he's jumping to conclusions and Wonder Bread says that he is an "inquiring mind at the moment." "At the moment"? Try "all the freaking time." In a confessional, Wonder Bread says, "I'm confused. How does one's heart go from man to man so easily and why are you not being more responsible with your genitalia?" First, why would he say "genitalia"? Second, judgmental much? And third, shut up Wonder Bread. As much as I dislike Annoying, if it was Teck I doubt you would be this judgmental about it. Annoying is crying on Tetanus Girl's bed while Wonder Bread is lying in the other bed listening to their conversation. He might want to try leaving the house once in a while.
Ruthie and Colin are still camping. Ruthie think that people use the word "friends" too loosely, and that not everyone is genuine. You mean, people lie sometimes? Say it ain't so! Ruthie says that she always trusts people and it ends up getting thrown back in her face. For example, Matt seemed genuine but he's not. Colin tells us that if you force your assistance on someone and then betray them, that's even worse, and that's how Ruthie feels about Wonder Bread. Ruthie asks how Colin could feel unsafe since that's the reason he gave for kicking her out. She would never do anything to her housemates or their friends. Colin says he didn't think that. Clearly, he did, since that's what he said during the intervention. Ruthie asks why she was a threat. Colin says he didn't know what was going to happen . I really wish he would say something about her being drunk all the time, but he doesn't. In a confessional, Colin says that it felt good to clear things up that Ruthie might have misconstrued. Back at the tent, Colin tells Ruthie that she could've brought someone home and he didn't trust her, and she probably didn't trust him. The whole situation was screwed up, but that's how he felt, he says. Ruthie tells us that Colin is "straight-up" with her. Colin says that he doesn't know now if what they did was right, but that Ruthie said she needed that month to reflect. In a confessional, Ruthie says a bunch of psychobabble that ends with her trying to choose the positive, whatever that means. Colin tells her that the whole situation has no downside -- she came back and he got to know her. They realize it's late and go to bed. The day, they come home and Ruthie tells Tetanus Girl what a great time they had.
Some flowers are delivered to the house for Annoying, and they are from Michael. She calls Pam to tell her, because apparently now Annoying doesn't have a mind of her own and needs to check with a friend via telephone to find out what her reaction should be to any given situation. Pam tells her to call Michael and thank him. Duh! Annoying says she will after she gets some more sleep and then parenthetically we find out that she's relieved because she doesn't have an STD. In a confessional, Annoying says, "It's negative, so I'm in the clear!" and gives us a big thumbs-up. She tells us, "It's been a life lesson. It makes me think of a quote from Alanis Morrisette -- 'It took a health scare to reprioritize.' I've reprioritized." I know whenever I learn a life lesson, I try to find an appropriate quote from Alanis. Annoying is reading an article titled, "Can Sex Make You Sick?" I would find meaning in that, if every women's magazine didn't have some variation of that article.
Annoying is singing, sort of to herself and Tetanus Girl asks how she is. Annoying says she's fine. Tetanus Girl is all mad that Annoying didn't let her know the test results. She says, "I feel like there was a lot of drama involved in that and you were like 'Oh, by the way, I need your support' and I gave it to you and I wouldn't have if I didn't give a shit. Just be careful, huh?" and Annoying is all, "I can handle myself." I can see Tetanus Girl's point. I have had friends call me with the latest crisis du jour, and you give your energy and time and then the day they act like it wasn't any big deal.
week: Colin's friend comes to visit and Annoying hooks up with him. Then, everyone hates her.
I can't really talk about what happened during the credits. Let's just say it involved Colin, Annoying and Wonder Bread, and the word "coital" was used a LOT. And Wonder Bread says that he's awful at sex, which again is no shocker.