Previously, on The Real World: Colin and Annoying had a weekend away together, but it definitely was not romantic. Teck brought home a skank and Wonder Bread popped a boner. Wonder Bread asked Ruthie if and when she is moving back into the house.
Colin is on the phone with his friend Trevor, and he once again uses the phrase "musical chairs of roommates" [sic] which is not really grammatically correct, and wasn't that funny the first five times he said it last week. Colin says that now that Justin's gone, he can move into the bottom bunk. Annoying, who is sitting to him and totally eavesdropping on his phone conversation, says that she is going to move into his bedroom. Colin says she's not. She says she is. Repeat ad nauseum, and I mean that literally. Colin says he deserves a single room because he got stuck with the top bunk for so long. They fight some more and then Annoying mumbles about what a brat Colin is. I don't think he's really a brat for not wanting her to move in. But they didn't ask me. They should have! Annoying follows Colin into the kitchen, and asks him seriously if she can move into the room and he yells, "I was joking! God!" and then says she can move in. I didn't think he was joking at all -- I think he just said yes to get her off his back. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that "sometimes you have to be a little more dramatic to get your way in life". I would've never guessed that was her philosophy of life. Annoying immediately starts scoping out the room to figure out how they can divide up the shelf space and Colin looks like he immediately regrets having caved in.
That night, Annoying is sleeping in the top bunk and Colin is sleeping in the bottom bunk (but for how long? For...how...long?). Annoying is sleeping with a Teletubby. Oh for cripes' sake. I don't have a problem with someone over the age of 4 actually owning a Teletubby. ["Good." -- Wing Chun] But sleeping with it? Colin tries to grab it from her because it's making a really annoying noise, and she practically starts crying. Yeah, this sleeping arrangement is going to work out really well. After he turns out the light, she starts badgering him to "kiss her bunny". She means her stuffed bunny, of course. I think. In a confessional, Colin tells us that he constantly has to tell Annoying no, and that she takes it as him being "mean". He makes the quotation marks with his fingers. To prove his point, we see Annoying tell Colin he's being mean. He says it's too hot in the room, and she replies that he's too hot in the room. Oh, brother. Thank God this season is almost over.
Wonder Bread and Tetanus Girl are having one of WB's famous lunches to talk about another housemate behind his or her back. In this case, they are discussing Annoying's continued abuse by Colin. Wonder Bread starts out: "She can take constant...ah, constant..." and Tetanus Girl fills in "berating," which isn't really the right word, but it works. Basically, they discuss how Annoying just laughs it off when Colin is mean to her, but then comes and complains about it to them. You didn't think they really cared about her, did you? They are just sick of hearing her whine. Wonder Bread tries to pretend differently, when he says, "I can't have one of my housemates constantly the butt of jokes", to which I say, "Fine, then I'll make jokes about all of them."
Wonder Bread and Tetanus Girl are having a little intervention with Annoying in the kitchen. Wonder Bread tells her that Colin "dishes on her" and then five minutes later, she forgives him. Annoying says she's used to it, and that it's made her a forgiving person, which is dumb. Tetanus Girl says, "You have to be forgiving if you're being dished on." Okay, I was willing to let it slide once, but I have to comment. I have never heard someone using "dished" to mean "made fun of" or "yelled at". Dissed? Sure. I would've even accepted "dishes it out". But "dished on" is not acceptable, and I really wish they would stop saying it.
In a confessional, Tetanus Girl tells us that Annoying "feels caught and takes whatever angle she can because she's really, really needy." I want to point out that the first part of that sentence doesn't make any sense and I think the editors just put it in for the second part. WB and Tet Girl tell Annoying that she doesn't respect herself. WB says he respects her intelligence (and that makes one of us). He continues, "I will never say 'Amaya's not intelligent' but I will say 'Amaya doesn't have strength as a character. She doesn't stand up for herself.' Quite often, you walk through life weak, foolish, and feeble." Hey, that was kinda mean. Annoying tears up and tells us in a confessional that she wanted to be challenged, but maybe she's not as strong as she thought she was. She tells her roommates: "I am really, really tired of being walked on, and I am really, really tired of you all not thinking I'm a smart person." Wonder Bread says he's glad that she is at a point where she's tired of it and that she's seeing it. He tells her to just do it and show people that it's not going to happen anymore. Annoying says she's tired of being insignificant, or thought of as insignificant, and she's going to make a change. Is anyone else humming "Man In the Mirror"?
All the remaining housemates want to have a house meeting but Tetanus Girl is on the phone with Ruthie, telling her about India. Gee, don't rub it in or anything that she didn't get to go. WB tells us that no one knows what is up with Ruthie. Tetanus Girl tells us that she tried to find out while on the phone, but no luck.
Tetanus Girl, Wonder Bread and Colin are in the van. A lot of this show took place in the van, I'm noticing. Tetanus Girl relays that Ruthie met a stripper who knows Teck. It turns out that after Teck and Ruthie had their showdown the night she broke the glass, Teck went to this stripper's house. Wonder Bread tells us, "Ruthie enjoys strippers and nightclub queens. Teck enjoys strippers and nightclub queens. Mix that together and you're going to get two roommates at each other's throats." When he said nightclub queens, I thought he meant drag queens. Also, this is another example of a confessional that was probably filmed later and inserted here to seem like foreshadowing.
Tetanus Girl and Teck lie on a bed and talk about Ruthie. Tetanus Girl tells Teck that Ruthie met that stripper. We flash back to Teck calling Ruthie a bitch over and over again. Wow, they didn't show that in the original episode, did they? I remember feeling a little sympathy for Teck, when really he was kind of mean. Teck says after that he went to Malo's house. Tetanus Girl tells us that Teck has described this woman as crazy in the past, and she could have a malevolent agenda. Again, faux foreshadowing. Teck says he has to get married because he doesn't want a woman to be his downfall. Like most of what Teck says, that doesn't make sense in any way possible. Then he says, "What goes around, comes around. If you put out that you're a butthole, you'll get buttholes coming by you." Who is the butthole in this scenario?
Ruthie is on the phone with WB and, of course, he's wearing that green shirt. She tells him she's coming back to the house on Friday or Saturday. I never thought I'd say this, but thank God. I can't take much more of Annoying and Colin. WB says he feels the same way: "I welcome Ruthie's wild presence to stir things up." Ruthie tells WB not to say anything to Teck about her coming home. WB promises not to, and Ruthie says she's heard his promises before. WB says his heart was in the right place. Whatever.
Annoying is sitting on the wall by the ocean as Colin prepares to go out surfing. They don't acknowledge one another in any way. In a confessional, Annoying tells us that she doesn't want or need Colin, and that she's tired of him.
Now they show the same phone call from last week. I mean, Annoying is talking to her friend Pam and she's wearing the exact same boobalicious sweater, and Colin is wearing the same clothes, so it must be the same call -- which took place before she and Colin went to Kauai together. But they pretend like it happened afterwards. Anyway, Annoying tells Pam that she stood up to Colin. Pam asks what Colin did that was so irritating -- grabbed her breasts? Huh? Where did that come from? Annoying says that Colin makes her feel stupid and she called him on it and he got mad and she doesn't care. Again. How many times have we heard this tonight?
Teck, Annoying and Wonder Bread are going skydiving. Annoying gets instructions and admits to a fear of heights. They all jump out of the plane. WB makes the "surf's up" gesture AGAIN! I hate him. Annoying says that her jump made her think about her life. Teck says Annoying's cool because she takes risks and isn't chicken. Annoying says she's realized that there is a lot out there for her and that she shouldn't be down on herself. Since I'm usually so mean, I will say that while skydiving and in the interview they showed afterward, Annoying looked really pretty and happy. So there.
Annoying is sitting on the wall, writing a letter to Colin. She reads it to us: "It seems like we're constantly moving in circles. We'll be great for a while, then things turn to shit again. I'm so tired of this. I know you understand what this feels like. As I came down, looking at the earth below me, I realized I don't need you. I don't even want you. Don't try to hook up. Me." I hope that was just the highlights, because it didn't make a lot of sense. And again, haven't we heard this before? As she walks in the house, Annoying tells us that she and Colin no longer have a romantic relationship, and she has no desire to be romantic with Colin. All right, already! She puts the note on his bed. Oh thank God that's over.
week: Ruthie's back and she brings her new girlfriend: Teck's stripper friend Malo! It's not clear whether they mean girlfriend as in pal or girlfriend as in lover. Regardless, Teck thinks she is just there "to get at Teck money," as he puts it. Over the credits, we see Teck and a bunch of women again.
Teck tells us he doesn't need alcohol or drugs to have a good time, just women. We see him dancing with many different women in nightspots. And I'm sure the cameras have nothing to do with it because Teck is so darned attractive. Oh wait, actually he's the opposite of that. Teck claims there are no problems with his lifestyle, as we see him bringing a woman home and booting Tetanus Girl to the bed in the living room. Tetanus Girl tells him he could at least help her carry her bedding out there, and for some reason she is wearing sunglasses. As they set up the bed for Tetanus Girl, she asks him why he doesn't just kick her out for good and push the two beds together. Teck laughs, and Tetanus Girl says it's a trade-off because Teck really isn't home that often.
Wonder Bread, Tetanus Girl and Annoying are in the van. Annoying says that Teck doesn't realize how small the island is, and that his many women are going to clash at some point. Tetanus Girl says Teck enjoys the drama. In that really scary, way-too-close confessional from the Ruthie intervention episode, Wonder Bread says that every women he meets knows Teck, has a friend who slept with Teck, or has slept with Teck herself, and that Teck is going to get a reputation. Then he'll never get a date to the homecoming dance! Back in the van, Wonder Bread tells us that Teck doesn't exactly exercise caution. Tetanus Girl says, "The whole point of life is that no matter what happens, things build upon themselves." It's a good thing I have Tetanus Girl around to tell me what the point of life is. I've been going about it all wrong. Tetanus Girl predicts that Teck will soon have women hunting him down.
At this point, I was wondering why they were emphasizing Teck's women so much, and how the castmates were able to predict what will happen to Teck so accurately. It's almost like the editors took events that happened later, and inserted the scenes here in an attempt at foreshadowing. Oh wait, that's exactly what they did.
Colin is lying on his bed in his boxers and Annoying wakes him up. He tells her to go away. She asks if he's going to Chili's with them. In a confessional, Colin says, "Take your stuff and move it back to the cave room. Nobody wants you in my room and by nobody, I mean me!" Look, Annoying is clearly not my favorite, but maybe Colin should have stuck to his guns instead of telling her she could move in, when he knew it would be a mistake. Anyway, Annoying jumps on him in the bed and starts swinging her hair in his face and pinching his nostrils closed -- no, I'm not making that up. I am really mean when I first wake up, so I can relate to Colin's grouchiness here. In a confessional, Colin tells us that he tries to be upfront and tell Annoying they are just friends, and that they aren't going to hook up. She keeps trying and he has to be blunt and say, "I don't want you." Then she gets hurt, but she shouldn't put him in that position in the first place. That's pretty true, actually. But he still shouldn't have let her move in. Talk about your mixed messages. Annoying tells us she is a glutton for punishment, and that's why she puts up with it. She has this masochistic streak in her blood and she just has to take abuse. You know, I'm really not feeling sorry for her at this point. Teck comes in and tells her to leave Colin alone.
Wonder Bread and Tetanus Girl are having one of WB's famous lunches to talk about another housemate behind his or her back. In this case, they are discussing Annoying's continued abuse by Colin. Wonder Bread starts out: "She can take constant...ah, constant..." and Tetanus Girl fills in "berating," which isn't really the right word, but it works. Basically, they discuss how Annoying just laughs it off when Colin is mean to her, but then comes and complains about it to them. You didn't think they really cared about her, did you? They are just sick of hearing her whine. Wonder Bread tries to pretend differently, when he says, "I can't have one of my housemates constantly the butt of jokes", to which I say, "Fine, then I'll make jokes about all of them."
Wonder Bread and Tetanus Girl are having a little intervention with Annoying in the kitchen. Wonder Bread tells her that Colin "dishes on her" and then five minutes later, she forgives him. Annoying says she's used to it, and that it's made her a forgiving person, which is dumb. Tetanus Girl says, "You have to be forgiving if you're being dished on." Okay, I was willing to let it slide once, but I have to comment. I have never heard someone using "dished" to mean "made fun of" or "yelled at". Dissed? Sure. I would've even accepted "dishes it out". But "dished on" is not acceptable, and I really wish they would stop saying it.
In a confessional, Tetanus Girl tells us that Annoying "feels caught and takes whatever angle she can because she's really, really needy." I want to point out that the first part of that sentence doesn't make any sense and I think the editors just put it in for the second part. WB and Tet Girl tell Annoying that she doesn't respect herself. WB says he respects her intelligence (and that makes one of us). He continues, "I will never say 'Amaya's not intelligent' but I will say 'Amaya doesn't have strength as a character. She doesn't stand up for herself.' Quite often, you walk through life weak, foolish, and feeble." Hey, that was kinda mean. Annoying tears up and tells us in a confessional that she wanted to be challenged, but maybe she's not as strong as she thought she was. She tells her roommates: "I am really, really tired of being walked on, and I am really, really tired of you all not thinking I'm a smart person." Wonder Bread says he's glad that she is at a point where she's tired of it and that she's seeing it. He tells her to just do it and show people that it's not going to happen anymore. Annoying says she's tired of being insignificant, or thought of as insignificant, and she's going to make a change. Is anyone else humming "Man In the Mirror"?
Wonder Bread, Tetanus Girl, Annoying and Colin are in the van. Annoying is telling a story about how bad her public school was and Colin cuts her off, saying that he's heard that one before and he knows all her stories. Annoying says he should let her finish because he always interrupts her to make "quips" (and she really used the word "quip," which I found impressive). Colin says, "Just stop talking because I don't want to listen to you at all." Wow, what a dick! In case we missed it, Wonder Bread the omniscient narrator tells us that Annoying's character is being tested. Colin tells her to quit giving him attitude because he wasn't mean. Um, yes you were. Annoying says he never lets her finish a thought, and that he makes rude comment in front of others so that she looks stupid and he looks great. I would insert a joke here about the viewers not needing Colin's comments to make Annoying look stupid, but...oh, look at that. I did. Colin tells us in a confessional that he wasn't the one attacking, raising his voice and cussing. I guess from his perspective that attack did come out of nowhere, since he wasn't in on the intervention. Back in the van, Colin tells Annoying that if anyone else said the same things he does, she wouldn't get mad. She says that's not true and Tetanus Girl is grimacing in pain. Colin asks to be dropped off at the gym, and Tetanus Girl whispers, "You did it!" to Annoying. She couldn't have waited two minutes until he was out the door? As soon as Colin leaves, Annoying makes the noise of a whip cracking. Well, don't get too high and mighty there. You stood up to him, but you hardly shut him down. She tells Tetanus Girl that it felt good to say those things.
Back at the house, Annoying tells Colin they need to talk. Colin says, "Don't give me attitude. Don't try what we talked about earlier." Clearly, they had a conversation about sex earlier but don't want to admit it in front of the cameras. I know this because Annoying says, "I don't want that because I'm disgusted." Colin says, "That's like the fifteenth time I've heard that. Not that I don't believe you" and walks out. Annoying presses her hand to her face and cries in a dramatic fashion, but he had a point.
I can't really talk about this segment. Let's just say that Wonder Bread and Teck go to a strip club. The only other information you need to know are that WB continually made the "surf's up" gesture and wore sunglasses throughout, and then the strippers ripped off Teck's underwear. See, even that was too much.
Now they show the same phone call from last week. I mean, Annoying is talking to her friend Pam and she's wearing the exact same boobalicious sweater, and Colin is wearing the same clothes, so it must be the same call -- which took place before she and Colin went to Kauai together. But they pretend like it happened afterwards. Anyway, Annoying tells Pam that she stood up to Colin. Pam asks what Colin did that was so irritating -- grabbed her breasts? Huh? Where did that come from? Annoying says that Colin makes her feel stupid and she called him on it and he got mad and she doesn't care. Again. How many times have we heard this tonight?
Teck, Annoying and Wonder Bread are going skydiving. Annoying gets instructions and admits to a fear of heights. They all jump out of the plane. WB makes the "surf's up" gesture AGAIN! I hate him. Annoying says that her jump made her think about her life. Teck says Annoying's cool because she takes risks and isn't chicken. Annoying says she's realized that there is a lot out there for her and that she shouldn't be down on herself. Since I'm usually so mean, I will say that while skydiving and in the interview they showed afterward, Annoying looked really pretty and happy. So there.
Annoying is sitting on the wall, writing a letter to Colin. She reads it to us: "It seems like we're constantly moving in circles. We'll be great for a while, then things turn to shit again. I'm so tired of this. I know you understand what this feels like. As I came down, looking at the earth below me, I realized I don't need you. I don't even want you. Don't try to hook up. Me." I hope that was just the highlights, because it didn't make a lot of sense. And again, haven't we heard this before? As she walks in the house, Annoying tells us that she and Colin no longer have a romantic relationship, and she has no desire to be romantic with Colin. All right, already! She puts the note on his bed. Oh thank God that's over.
week: Ruthie's back and she brings her new girlfriend: Teck's stripper friend Malo! It's not clear whether they mean girlfriend as in pal or girlfriend as in lover. Regardless, Teck thinks she is just there "to get at Teck money," as he puts it. Over the credits, we see Teck and a bunch of women again.