It's the day after the big Karamo/MJ blowout. Sarah and MJ walk home from the store, and MJ complains about the events of the night. MJ interviews that any one of them could have been accused of having a gun. Yeah, but “any one of them” wasn't. I don't think it's a coincidence that the black guy was targeted, and it really bothers me that MJ won't even consider that race might be a factor in the situation. MJ says that the cops wouldn't even let him talk to Karamo, and Sarah says that MJ had no right to be pissed. MJ interviews that he's never been in Karamo's situation, so all he can do is try to help, but Karamo won't let him. Yeah, if by "help," you mean "blame the victim." Shut up, MJ. And shut up MJ's wonky eye. MJ concludes that they all need to talk about it.
Back at the house, Karamo explains the situation to his friend Ray on the phone. Karamo interviews that things like this happen to him and his friends constantly, but that he didn't think it would happen in Philadelphia. Karamo tells Ray how MJ thought Karamo overreacted. Ray can only say, "What? Whaaaaaaat?" Karamo adds that his roommates are trying to explain it away by saying it could have happened to anyone. Ray points out that it didn't, and that it happened to the tall black guy. Ray says that karma will get them in the end. For a minute, I thought he said that Karamo would get them in the end. Hee!
MJ and Landon walk down the street and a car goes by. Someone in the car yells, "You suck!" and throws something out the window. Landon jokes that Philadelphia loves them. I've never understood that. I didn't understand it in Seattle, and I didn't understand it in Chicago, and I don't understand it now. I can get hating the show, or hating MTV, or whatever. But what good does it do to take it out on the roommates with physical violence and yelling? What does that prove? It's just foolishness. I'm not saying that people have to embrace the production, but just ignore it, or protest it through the proper channels. And by proper channels, I don't mean throwing CDs from a moving car. If only because, now you're on tape committing assault, dumb-ass. MJ tries to console Landon, but he can barely get a sentence out before someone else yells that they suck. And then we wonder why the roommates seem to hang out at their house all the time and rarely go out and see the sights. Landon and MJ go into a bar. Landon goes up to the bar to get some drinks. MJ interviews that some guy walked over and tossed a stool at him. Hee! "Stool." We don't see the incident on tape. MJ explains that Security got the guy, and that maybe people in Philadelphia are jealous. Oh, MJ. You had me and then you lost me. They're not jealous. They're just idiots.
Later that night, Sarah lies on top of Landon, who relays MJ's stool experience. Hee. "Stool." That never stops being funny to me. In a confessional, Sarah says that she doesn't understand the violence. Landon says that they had three CDs thrown at them by people driving by. Landon asks Karamo whether he's talked to MJ yet, and talks about the stool-throwing incident. Karamo gets all sarcastic, pretending he's concerned. Landon misses the sarcasm and keeps complaining about their shitty night, and Karamo just laughs. In a confessional, Karamo says that he's finding it hard to be empathetic or sympathetic.
Karamo walks into the kitchen, and MJ says he's sure Karamo heard about the night's drama, but MJ says it in a tone that suggests he's expecting Karamo to relate to the experience or something. It's so not the same thing. When it happened, the cops didn't come and immediately blame MJ, pulling him out of the bar and patting him down. MJ interviews that he was physically assaulted, but that he didn't blow up or create a scene, and that you have to learn to get over stuff. I'm going to raise my "Shut up, MJ" to a "Fuck off, MJ." Karamo mumbles that karma's a bitch. MJ doesn't hear it, and Karamo pretends he was talking about strawberry jelly. Karamo smirks to himself as he walks away.
Some other day, a package arrives for the roommates and they wait for everyone to gather before they tear into it. Sarah notes that the return address reads, "Soul Arena Football." MJ interviews that he played college football, but that he wasn't drafted by the pros. Karamo opens the box, and everyone grabs the football jerseys inside. Karamo reads the letter, which explains that they'll be working for the Philadelphia Soul arena football team. They get jerseys and an introductory DVD, as well as tickets to a game. Melanie interviews that she was excited, and that football is a new thing for her. The roommates sit down to watch the DVD, and Jon Bon Jovi is on it, because he's a co-owner of the team. MJ interviews that he doesn't know if he's more excited about "working for the team or getting to meet Bon Jovi and his feathered bangs." Okay, heh. Also, Bon Jovi is the band. Jon Bon Jovi is the person. If you don't know the difference, I think Tico Torres would like to have a word with you. And Tico is scary.
The roommates pile into an SUV and head for the stadium. Willie is excited to make money. They arrive at the stadium and head to a suite to watch the game. MJ interviews that seeing the team together is hard for him, because he misses that. The team actually has fans who, like, dress up and stuff. Who knew? Shavonda interviews that arena football is a scaled-down version of regular football, and that she thinks it's "more ballsier [sic]" than regular football. Heh. Yeah, that's why all the premium college athletes go right into the arena league. Fuck the NFL!
Craig Nelson, one of the team's owners, greets the roommates and invites them into a room to explain their job. Craig is joined by Ron, the President, and Mimi, the CFO. Landon interviews that they are all impressive. Have you ever noticed that Landon has the same hair as Kenickie from Grease? With, like, a pompadour and shit? That shit's not right. Mimi explains that the roommates will be helping out with the community service aspect of the team.
Karamo drives home and gets lost. He ends up in the ghetto. Karamo interviews that part of him feels more comfortable in the ghetto because it's "his people." Landon asks where they are, and says that they're going the wrong way. This is suddenly like a really, really, really bad episode of The Amazing Race. Shavonda interviews that they're lost because Karamo won't listen to them. MJ tells Karamo to take a right, and Karamo goes left instead. Shavonda interviews that there are bullet holes in cars, and that everyone is scared. Karamo refuses to take instruction, and insists that he'll stop and ask for directions. It doesn't look so much scary as deserted -- which is also scary, I guess. Although you'd have to wonder who would be dumb enough to try something with the cameras rolling. Then again, see the CD-throwers from earlier. Melanie interviews that Karamo likes to make the roommates anxious. Karamo starts laughing and says that everyone's faces are funny. Landon looks terrified.
MJ and Sarah discuss what Karamo's problem is. Sarah interviews that Karamo isn't ready to talk to MJ yet. Why is this Sarah's problem, again? Willie thinks that Karamo is mad because MJ wasn't "his boy." Melanie points out that it's tough when someone is surrounded by cops. Shut up, Melanie. You weren't there. Willie does a hilarious MJ imitation. Willie interviews that Karamo feels like MJ doesn't have his back. Melanie says she heard Karamo say that karma's a bitch. MJ adds that Karamo told Shavonda that he wishes MJ would have four more chairs thrown at him. Shavonda is quite the tattletale. MJ interviews that he just wants to be there for Karamo, but that until Karamo talks to him, he can't do anything. All the roommates continue to discuss the issue, and Karamo arrives home. Busted! Willie actually does the slightly mature thing and yells that they want Karamo to come and talk to MJ. Karamo blows him off. In that situation, I would have totally tried to pretend I wasn't talking shit, so I commend Willie for his attempt, however ill-advised.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week happened during Wife Swap. If you're not familiar with the premise, it's pretty much all in the title. Two women swap lives for two weeks. In the first week, they have to abide by the rules of their host family, and in the second week, the women get to make the rules. So, of course, since it's reality television, the producers choose women who have diametrically opposed lifestyles. So this week, a Southern woman who loves family and whose husband likes to hunt and fish swapped places with an Arkansas environmentalist and animal rights activist who hasn't seen her family in years. So the first awesome part was when the environmentalist was looking around her new home, and she came upon a mounted deer head, and she started SOBBING! And she was, like, petting the deer, and apologizing to the deer, and the woman was just bonkers. I mean, I like animals, and I'm not a big gun person or hunter, but the deer was already dead, and frankly, deer have few if any natural predators, so if it weren't for hunters, we'd be overrun. So anyway, at the end of the episode, the two couples meet and discuss what they've learned, and most weeks the couples manage to keep it barely civil, but this week, they were just totally bitchy to each other, and when the environmentalist woman found out that her dogs were made to sleep outside, she just lost it! And she was screaming and crying about how her dogs were ADOPTED and you can't make them sleep OUTSIDE and so on and so on. And pretty much everyone involved was kind of an asshole, but this woman was just stark raving mad, which was awesome.
MJ finds Karamo and asks if he wants to talk. Karamo interviews that he walked in the door and people were yelling at him to talk to MJ, so he felt attacked, and when he feels attacked, he shuts down. In the kitchen, Sarah and Willie try to plead MJ's case, but Karamo just laughs and blows them off. MJ keeps trying to talk, and Karamo keeps blowing him off. Karamo interviews that he doesn't need to resolve conflicts. MJ follows Karamo around and keeps bugging him to talk, and Karamo keeps trying to say things are fine between them. MJ interviews that there's nothing you can do in that situation. MJ asks for a dap, and Karamo walks away. Karamo interviews that he's not good at forgiveness, because if someone betrays him once, he doesn't want to be betrayed again.
The roommates get ready for the game that night. Some weird version of "Wanted: Dead or Alive" plays as the roommates arrive at the stadium. MJ interviews that it's fan appreciation day, and that they'll be going out on the field to throw t-shirts and such into the stands. Jon Bon Jovi wanders down the hall, and when did he turns into such a gaylord? I mean, he was always cheesy, but he didn't use to look like a woman, did he? I will confess that I had not one but two posters of Jon Bon Jovi on my walls as a teenager, and that in one, he was definitely wearing purple snakeskin lace-up pants. Jon greets the roommates, and Landon gets very anxious. Landon interviews that "something tightens up" inside him. Oh, dear. I'll let you all draw your own conclusions on that one. Jon sits down and says that he wants the roommates to help make an impact in the city, and that they want to build a playground in a disadvantaged area. Melanie interviews that she's seen the facilities for children in Philadelphia, and that they're depressing. When did Melanie become the Chief Playground Inspector? Jon says that building the playground is the kind of impact the team wants to have. Then he signs some of the swag for the fans. MJ interviews that he was totally awestruck, and that "his feathered bangs looked good and those jeans were tight as hell." Okay, MJ. You won me back a little bit with that one. Don't ruin it.
The roommates go out on the field during halftime of the game and throw t-shirts into the crowd. They even get to use a giant slingshot, which is kind of cool.
Karamo works out at the gym. He interviews that he was trying to figure out how to discuss issues with his roommates without coming off as angry or upset. He knows that he needs to say something, but he doesn't want to deal with people who have attacked him in the past. He admits that he's trying to grow, but he knows he has a lot of issues.
The roommates go out to a bar. Karamo tells Sarah that he expected everyone to understand him, even though he judged everyone. Karamo interviews that he has trust issues, and that it has affected his relationship with MJ. Karamo tells Sarah that he didn't want to come off as the aggressive, angry black guy. Sarah thinks Karamo is defining himself by his race. In a confessional, Sarah interviews that she sees a change in Karamo, and that he's letting her in. Karamo says that he doesn't know what to do about MJ. Sarah says that it takes a strong person to forgive the right people.
Drunken Karamo and Drunken MJ have a discussion outside a parking garage about the incident. Karamo says that he wanted MJ to be like his boys at home. MJ tries to explain why he couldn't talk to Karamo, and Karamo says he just wanted MJ to be empathetic and sympathetic. That's what MJ doesn't seem to get. If, afterward, he had just said, "Hey, man. That totally sucked that you were targeted like that," I think that would have gone a long way. Karamo interviews that he doesn't want to harbor any bad feelings. Karamo says that they need to just look to the future, and start at that moment with a clean slate. They hug, and agree to treat this as day one. Karamo interviews that it's weird to forgive, because he usually writes people off entirely. MJ, near tears, asks if Karamo really wants people to throw more chairs at him. Hee! He's kind of a girl. Karamo promises that if anyone came after MJ, Karamo would go after them. MJ interviews that he and Karamo have come a long way, and they need mutual respect. Karamo and MJ hug again and both conclude with, "I love you, man!"