This was a waste of a half hour. Jose keeps trying to get his crush, Jessica, to come over to the house. After much cajoling and conniving with her roommate Zachary, Jose somehow convinces Jessica to come over and he kisses her. Scintillating. Janelle's boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend Kasib also comes out to visit. Within fifteen hours of his arrival, he flirts with some other girls at a bar and invites them to the house, causing Janelle to kick him out once they (minus the girls, none of whom actually come over) get home. Seriously, that's it. The one really great thing about this half hour is that Tyler is in it for only thirty seconds or so.
Previously...Janelle and Svet became super-friends, Jose took a long walk, Tyler was a dink, and Speedo got ripped off.
Janelle is on the phone with Kasib, her currently off-again boyfriend. In a merciful mostly Tyler-free episode, his one glorious line is that he gets nervous when she talks to Kasib on the phone. In an interview, Janelle says that Kasib's really wanted to come out and visit. And I am just sure that has nothing to do with wanting to get himself on TV. NOTHING. She says that she's not sure whether it's a good idea, since all they do is fight, and when she says this on the phone, he says that she's acting like a "jackass." Wow, I can't see why these two broke up. Janelle says that she wants Kasib to talk to her with respect, and, sounding shocked, he says, "What? I'm talking to you!" Yeah, but without the respect. Jackass this, dude. She tells him how much he ticks her off, he condescendingly says goodbye, and she hangs up.
Janelle tells the roommates how difficult Kasib is, and John adds that it's easier to ignore that kind of behavior than it is to put your foot down and stop it. True, but if these two aren't a couple right now, I have to wonder why she should bother to put her foot down when she could just stop talking to him altogether. Although functional relationships have never been known to get anyone on to The Real World.
Jose's out at a bar talking to his crush, Jessica. In a not-at-all confusing coincidence, Jose knows someone else named Zach -- the chyrons refer to him as "Zachary," but no one actually calls him that. Zach2 apparently went to high school with Jessica, and has told Jose what a great girl she is. They hug, and it's all very chaste and un-Real World.
In the car on the way home, Zach can see that Jose's in a "euphoric state" over Jessica, and asks him what's up. Jose says that he likes her, but he's not "calling it right now" because it's early. Apparently, there's also one more interesting little Jose detail: in what can only be called a really wise and sound decision, he lives with his ex-girlfriend Irene. Well, that can't go wrong AT ALL. Jessica knows that he talks to Irene, but he's forgotten to mention the little matter of them still sharing a home.
morning, Janelle is back on the phone with Kasib and somehow apologizes for her behavior. Of course, he graciously accepts, and shows it by asking her whether she's busy Saturday, because he's still planning on coming out. Hold on a second, what? Now he's just invited himself there and already has a plane ticket? Janelle tries to cover sounding surprised and never mentions this as being strange, which puts her in the "pushover" category.
The morning, Janelle voices over that she's "nervous" and "apprehensive" about seeing Kasib. This just gets better and better. MTV artfully establishes the airport with some shots of the "Active unloading or loading ONLY" signs.
When Kasib walks out, Janelle's happy greeting is, "What's up? You've only got two bags?" That's what I call happiness at seeing an old friend. One of his bags is Louis Vuitton, and I'm going to guess knockoff. Recapper Confession Time: I got stuck with someone visiting like this one time when I didn't want him to, and that ended in some serious tears and him threatening to make a scene at my friend's wedding reception. So yeah, it's true that you can somehow get swept up in someone visiting and not be able to say no. But at least I wasn't playing out our problems on national television, and I also learned from it and never spoke to him again. I'd wager a guess that what's going to play out between these two is not going to be their Maiden Voyage of Ugly Fighting. (Whoops, I didn't just spoil anyone, did I?)
Kasib comes into the house and meets all the roommates, and John gets the Quote of the Episode: "Kasib seems like a really chill guy; they've been, I guess, on and off for quite some time now. [Janelle]'s bringing him into this environment to try and rekindle a dysfunctional relationship, and I think it's gonna turn out to be pretty interesting." Janelle and Kasib head to her room, and while John predicts that they'll be getting "cardiovascular," she's reading a magazine and he's lying there as she says she misses him. It really rings true since she's reading as she says it. They do eventually curl up under the blanket.
While making dinner, Kasib asks if he's got a curfew, too, and Janelle says that she's got a curfew for him. In a voice over, she wonders why he even cares if he's there to see her. Not quite a brain surgeon, this one. Zach witnesses the whole thing and wisely doesn't get involved. Kasib just seems like a jackass.
Back out at a club, the gang plus Kasib meets up with Jessica. Jose tells Zach2 that he wants to make sure Jessica comes over to the house afterward, though she's protesting about work. Not a good sign -- take it from a girl who's used the same excuse.
Meanwhile, Janelle is standing around looking pissed as Kasib chats up everyone in the bar, and then decides to invite some girls back to the house. Class-ay. Predictably, Janelle yells at him. Kasib brushes it off and tells her to back off; she acts all of pissed, surprised, and hurt that he would do this. These two are wasting precious moments of my life. Outside, Janelle starts crying, and so Kasib helps the situation by telling her that she's got a bad attitude. Eventually, Kasib tells Janelle that he doesn't want to listen anymore, and she declares that the night is over. "This is just how it is between him and me," she says. Then it's your own damn faul, moron. Sheesh, I've typed that word so many times these past two weeks that I've set it to auto-complete in Word.
Oh, so now they decide to blur Kasib's mock-designer luggage. Maybe they checked the certificate of authenticity when they were out at the bar. Janelle and Kasib fight; they yell the very same things over and over, and the only thing worth pointing out is that when they're arguing about the girls he invited over, he actually yells, "Did I invite them?" as if Janelle only assumed that and it's not on camera for America to see. Eventually he decides to leave, muttering that he should have stayed at home. Well...yeah. Tyler says something so that they can give him a moment of screen time, calling this "the most expensive booty call [he's] ever seen." He's not entirely wrong, but it pains me to say that.
Somehow, Jose is at home and apparently couldn't get Jessica to come home with him, because he's on the phone trying to convince her to come over. He does, even though she's following every single rule for "trying to let a guy know you aren't interested in him That Way without having to say it to his face." Zach2 gets on the phone to tell Jose, "It's a good thing I like you." How very dad-like of him.
Zach, John and some other friend named Justin are in the Jacuzzi drinking beers and drunkenly going over the whole Janelle thing in that special clipped-sentence drunken manner. Basically, John thinks that Janelle "insulted [Kasib's] manhood" and was a bitch to send him packing. Way to choose sides without knowing what was going on, buddy. Zach2 comes out and grabs a beer, telling the guys how much Jose owes him for getting Jessica there. John seems to be the narrator for the hour, saying that Jessica has been against coming to the house since they met her.
There's some shots of Jessica looking for Zach2, hugging her cardigan tight around her, and she clearly seems not to want to be alone with Jose. At least, I'm certain that's what the Us Weekly body language expert would say. Jessica and Jose sit at the end of the dock and discuss relationships awkwardly, like we all have done at some point in our lives. Jose still likes her, blah blah blah.
Phone rings. It's Kasib calling for Janelle. After a little voice-over from Tyler about how Janelle says that her relationships end because she's selfish, Kasib tells her that all the hotels are sold out, so he orders her to come pick him up and won't listen to whatever she wants to say. She agrees, but says that he has to get a cab since it's after curfew. Kasib gets pissed off, and Janelle suggests that he just go to the airport. I can see it: a little bit of a spine is starting to form. I'd say her relationships end because she's a big old doormat rather than selfish, but potato, potahto. Kasib yells at her, they argue, and Janelle says, "I don't have time to deal with other people's BS." Neither do I, lady; just hang up on him and never speak to him again. Done, finito, easy as pie. Kasib says that he's coming over, but she tells him not to bother; she'll have Production call the police. Kasib tells her to go right ahead, since he's coming. This is not good for my rage, people. Maybe these two are truly meant for each other if they keep dealing with all of this bullshit.
Jessica and Jose are still talking about relationships when a cab carrying Kasib is turned away from the house, as promised. Kasib calls Janelle from the car to ask whether she's enjoying this, and then actually asks, "Are you sane right now?" I wish he were right here to just punch him in the face, but I have a feeling he's like Tyler in that it wouldn't make a difference and he'd never actually realize what a self-absorbed dipshit he really is. This argument is so dumb it's not even worth the typing that I'm doing to tell you about it. Janelle tells him not to come over just to disrespect her. Kasib says that's fine; he has no words. She replies that that's a problem, too. He's all shocked, and then asks whether he's just supposed to walk to the airport. Did he not just arrive in a cab? My brain hurts. Janelle says that she'll call him a cab, Kasib decides to cuss her out, and she finally has the wherewithal to hang up on him. Zach ends up unplugging the phone. Kasib seems to have figured out how to call a cab on his own, heads to the airport, and sleeps on a bench. Aw, poor baby. It's not quite as glamorous to be called out on TV as it is to look like a pimp, is it?
Back at the house, Zach2 has left, but comes back when he realizes that Jessica has his housekeys. When Zach2 tells them about having gone home in a taxi, it turns out that Kasib was in the cab. Ah, so that's why it left! It's all coming together. The way these kids work, they need their very own Key West taxi service -- that would have made more sense than Mystic Tan. Jose the comic quips, "Flight from San Jose to Key West? $750. Buying a new wardrobe because you're going to see Janelle? $250. Getting kicked out in less than fifteen hours? Priceless." The joke is played, but that doesn't mean it's not funny. Back to more pressing issues, Jose asks Zach2 in a whisper why he came back, and it turns out Zach2's work keys are also in the car, and he has to go to work in the morning. Either that, or he and Jessica had an escape plan so that she didn't have to stay over -- not that I'm speaking AT ALL from personal experience; I'm just throwing it out there. Jose manages to make a move and give Jessica a single kiss before she leaves with Zach2 amid all sorts of jokes for him to keep his hands off Jessica. Methinks someone is a bit insecure.
The morning, Jose is on the phone with Irene having a State of the Non-Relationship talk. He wants to make sure they're "on the same page." He admits to feeling guilty about possibly giving Irene hope when he's interested in Jessica, so on the phone, he makes her state what she understands their status to be. How about saying "We're not dating anymore, so it's probably not a good idea for us to live together"? Balls, dude. Use them. After Irene says that she knows they are just friends, Jose tells her that he's kissed someone, and the tone of the whole conversation gets icy with a single pause from Irene. She quickly tries to end the conversation by saying that it's fine when he finally does point out that they aren't' together. After some whining, they decide that they don't want to talk about it anymore -- a sure sign that someone is going to make an upset drunk dial within, I'd say, a week or so -- and Jose tells her to have a good flight. Wait, is Irene visiting? Did they give each of the kids Bad Idea Jeans when they moved in, or were they on the required packing list?
Janelle is debriefing Tyler on the night before and basically says that it's her fault for letting Kasib come visit. She cares about him, but they just don't get along. She sounds so sane now, but I can't help thinking that later they'll be yelling at each other on the phone again. "It's embarrassing to have my ex-boyfriend come out here and act like a complete ass," says Janelle. "I feel like it's my job for myself to take the control back. I've played vulnerable with him for too long. Not anymore. No." Although she grates on me, I hope she sticks to that, but I'm sure she won't. Good luck, Janelle.