The show opens on a red carpet, somewhere in Los Angeles, with tons (okay, dozens) of screaming fans perched alongside it. The camera pans to Cynthia and Dan from the Miami season, who welcome us. Hey, what happened to the Hip, Squiggly Font of Character Introduction? They've changed it! Oh, this just won't do. I hate this special already. Dan tells us that they are at a club called Blue, and a close-up shot of the Pepsi sign on the wall explains why they are able to air this ninety-minute special with no commercials. Did you hear me? Ninety minutes of former Real World cast members with no commercials! I am in recapping hell. I think I should get combat pay.
So then we get quick shots of people walking down the red carpet. I was just going to gloss over this, but since this is the only time you actually see some of the attendees on camera, I decided to slo-mo it and try to tell you who is there. First is Mike from Miami and some blond woman who is definitely not Old Heather. In fact, Mike is looking more and more like Old Heather every time I see him. up is Sharon from London, arriving with Mike from London and some other random guy. In other words, Mike couldn't get a date, so he glommed on to Sharon and her date. David from L.A. waves to the crowd. Judd and Pam from San Francisco walk in together. Amaya from Hawaii walks in by herself, wearing a red top and with weird flyaway hair.
As Cynthia voice-overs that not only were all the cast members invited, celebrities will also be there, David from L.A. yuks it up with Pauly Shore. Hee! That's the best celebrity they could come up with? Awesome. Dan talks to Andy Dick, who is clearly only there because MTV blackmailed him. Then there is a quick shot of some young, female groupies, and I am sad for them. Kat from London walks in, looking really cute, and greets the crowd. Jon from L.A. stops and talks to the camera, and they have to use the Hip But Not Squiggly Font to introduce him, because he's packed on some pounds. I mean, he was practically a teenager when he was on the show, so it makes sense that he's filled out a little. But apparently, it all went to his face. Jon tells the camera that he wants to bring in all the people waiting outside. Dan talks to Rachel from San Francisco and Sean from Boston, the official Real World married couple. Lindsay from Seattle talks to the camera as her date waits to her. Elka from Boston laughs. Amaya from Hawaii and Nathan from Seattle greet each other with a kiss. Becky from New York (who looks a lot like Sarah from Road Rules: Latin America) hangs out with Eric from New York and Jo from San Francisco. Andre from New York is actually there. That's kind of exciting. Syrus from Boston yells about something. Sarah from Miami smiles at the camera and ducks her head, and then hides her face with her hands. More people cheer outside. Cynthia suggests that we head outside to the red carpet and see who is arriving. Cynthia still has those scary dragon-lady nails, but she is also just as cute as ever. I love her.
Elka and Kameelah from Boston arrive, even though we've already seen Elka once. It wouldn't be a Real World special without bad continuity. Andre walks in with his date. Beth S. from L.A. is looking more and more like Ellen DeGeneres. Jon sings his "true story" bit from the L.A. season's opening credits, and it sounds exactly the same. Kelley from New Orleans arrives with Peter. Dan asks one of the gathered fans what her favorite season was, and she says it was -- totally by coincidence, I'm sure -- Miami. Dan slips her a twenty and a promise that he'll get her Syrus's phone number. David from New Orleans arrives, wearing a white polo shirt and a backwards visor. Way to dress up, dude. Dan dances on the red carpet. Rachel shakes the fans' hands. Some random fan says that he was hoping to see Dan. Why? I've never met anyone who claimed that Dan was his or her favorite cast member ever. Dan mugs for the camera with Danny from New Orleans, who is as cute as ever. Teck from Hawaii walks down the red carpet. Jamie from New Orleans walks in with the woman I guess is his girlfriend, who is holding her stomach in a way she might want to stop doing if she wants to prevent the spread of pregnancy rumors.
Jason from Boston is wearing a toque, because true artists don't comb their hair. I would also like to point out that his "date" is a guy. I'm sure they're just friends. As Jason walks away, Cynthia says into the microphone, "He's hella cute, y'all." Kaia from Hawaii walks in alone, dressed all in black. Hope you enjoyed that glimpse of her, because you won't be seeing her again tonight. ["Good." -- Wing Chun] Neil from London walks in with, I presume, the mother of his child. Justin from Hawaii walks in, and I say out loud, "Who the hell is that?" I seriously did not recognize him. The only reason I figured it out is because Dan announces that it's time for "the Gay Brigade" and, by process of elimination, I was able to figure it out. Also involved in said Gay Brigade is Ruthie from Hawaii. Mike from Miami asks Cynthia whether their season is up for an Oscar tonight. Shut up, Mike. Also, his date is wearing red leather pants.
Dan asks Becky from New York (who is still looking like Sarah from Road Rules) whether she's excited to go inside and see who gained weight and who got ugly. Heh. That's why I'm watching. Becky says (sarcastically) that she expects to be the hottest one there. Dan assures her that she will be. Somebody (Kelley?) turns her back to the camera and shakes her ass. Montana from Boston walks in wearing a really ugly dress that is somewhat reminiscent of the one Sarah Michelle Gellar wore to the Golden Globes this year. Flora from Miami shakes her breasts at the camera. The camera pans up Kameelah's body. Cynthia asks Beth S. who she is wearing; the answer is "BCBG and Landry." I don't even know what that means. My fashion comes from Target and Old Navy, y'all. Heh. I made that joke, and then Norm from New York came on and said his shirt was from Target. Cynthia does a little strutting spin, and she looks good. Syrus from Boston explains that his sunglasses are from Chanel. Melissa from New Orleans says that her dress is vintage. Or it must be just her skirt, because she's wearing an apron top that looks pretty new. Overall she looks great, though. Sharon shows off her Gucci shoes. Stephen from Seattle brags about his "Dolce" outfit. Cut to Dan asking Becky from New York what is wrong. Becky replies that she's "in shock" because she's not the hottest one in there. She explains that "the younger Real World girls are hotter than [she]." Cut to a shot of Amaya and Kat waving to the camera, all hair and teeth. Ruthie walks by. Becky, mock-crying now, begs Dan to tell her that she's beautiful. Dan says, with a totally straight face, "Well, you've got great boobs." Heh.
In "a studio somewhere in Los Angeles," a crew sets up a huge scaffolding. John Norris voice-overs that they invited all of the cast members back for "the definitive photo." We see various cast members arriving. John Norris tells us, "This is the only time all nine seasons have ever been together in one room." Eric greets Andre, saying that he hasn't seen Andre in "ten years!" Danny gets makeup. L.A. David greets Eric. Jon gives Syrus a copy of his CD, saying that he's going to "turn [Syrus] country." Becky and Kevin can't believe that Andre showed up. Andre hears them and smiles. Jon signs his CD for Syrus. Becky hugs Andre, and Kevin tells them that Julie (from New York) can't come because she's about to have a baby. Aw, I love the New York cast. They seem genuinely happy to be together. I wish New York Julie were there.
The New York cast (minus pregnant Julie) get their picture taken. Heather B. tells us that she just completed her CD, called Eternal Affair. L.A. Irene shows pictures of her seven-year-old kid to Beth S. New Orleans Matt begins his campaign of annoyance by asking Irene whether she's the one on whom Jon had a crush. Like, if you know who Jon is, you clearly watched the L.A. season, so why would you not know that? I hate Matt. Irene tells us that her daughters are still too young to understand, but she wants them to know that "their mommy was cool at one time." She was never cool.
The London cast (minus Jay and Jacinda) sits around chatting. London Mike has a normal haircut now. The cameramen surprise Kat, and Neil scolds the camera. London Mike tells us that he still loves racing, but that he doesn't get to drive as much as he used to. Then, because we apparently are supposed to care even more about this subject, Melissa asks Mike whether he's still driving, and Mike says that he owns a racecar team. Translation: Daddy bought me a racecar team. Kameelah is standing there talking to L.A. Irene and some others when suddenly she screams and runs away. Not because she's bored, although I can see why you'd think that. It's because Rebecca (her Challenge teammate) has arrived. Kameelah gives Rebecca a big hug.
Cynthia grabs Kevin's hands to check for a wedding ring, and doesn't find one. Heh. Cynthia tells us that she's had several jobs, but hasn't found one with which she's totally happy yet. Join the club. ["Dude, I'm sitting right here. Don't spit in my face." -- Wing Chun] I mean, except recapping, but that's not full-time. Rebecca tells us that she's singing. Well, so am I -- in the shower. New Orleans David says that he's got an album deal with "Skrewface Records." Is that label named after the faces he makes when he sings? Beth S. is producing her first feature film. Miami Mike has worked as a private investigator with his family. Jamie was arrested for bungee jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. Heh. I love how they still refuse to pimp his stupid website. L.A. David, who is looking even skinnier than usual, pimps his website, but he uses a few too many W's. Kevin still can't believe that "the mighty 'Dre is here." Andre looks really uncomfortable and asks what he's doing there. Andre compares an interview to getting drilled at the dentist. Jason asks Jo what season she was on. Heh. New Orleans Matt is all explaining who she is while Judd stands by, useless as usual. Jason clearly still doesn't remember her. Judd explains that his roommates "voted somebody off the island" which is such a stupid thing to say and I hate Judd. Jo asks where Puck is, and Judd hopes he's not coming. Jo thinks he'll be there. Kevin asks the camera whether Puck is coming. I am so sick of Puck at this point -- he only acts like an idiot because it gets him attention.
Cue Puck approaching, like, how much longer are BMP and Puck going to milk this "Puck is a bad boy" thing? Isn't Puck, like, forty now? Puck kicks open the door because he is a bad-ass. In an interview, Puck says that the first season in New York was "pretty raw." Cut to a clip montage featuring Becky being called a racist, Eric's semi-naked photo shoot, Julie asking whether Eric's girlfriend is a skeezer, and Eric and Heather rapping in a recording studio. Puck explains that he had "a special introspective [sic] into it" because he dated Eric's sister. Andre asks Eric whether his sister is really dating Puck; Eric denies it and laughs.
Now, Puck talks about L.A. This montage includes David talking about the Confederate flag, the Great Styrofoam War, and of course, David pulling the blanket off Tami. Puck says that when David got kicked off the show, it bummed Puck out. David explains to the camera that his season started the trend of kicking people off the show.
Puck feels that "San Francisco is the best, hands down." Why am I not surprised? This montage includes Pedro giving his ultimatum to Puck, and the roommates deciding that Puck should leave. Puck now explains, "When it happened, it didn't feel good," because people he trusted betrayed him.
Now it's time to take a look at London. We see Lars and Jacinda meeting for the first time. Puck says there are "people on the London show that [he] just can't stand." Somewhere, Gustave nods in agreement, which is probably the only time he will agree with Puck, ever. Puck offers up Neil as an example, and claims that Neil's band is horrible. Wow, I can't believe how much I'm agreeing with Puck. We revisit Neil getting his tongue bitten, which we've already seen once, but really, not much else happened during the season. As evidence, I offer up the fact that the London montage is now over.
The Miami season is introduced with a montage of all the businesses they thought up and then failed to open during a meeting with Landon. Puck explains that they got $50,000 to start a business, and that BMP thought that would bring great ratings. Cut to Flora saying, "The business is not going to happen." Puck channels everyone on the forums when he says that if you gave him $50,000, he would make "so much money." In a current interview, Mike says that they may have lost the money, but that Puck taught him how to get high by licking a frog's ass. What? What does that have to do with anything? Flora laughs at Mike.
John Norris is back, telling us that, after the season airs, the cast members are no longer anonymous. At the People's Choice Awards, the crowd chants, "Real World! Real World!" Who are these people? Danny says that he thought there would be some hype, and then it would be over, but he "had no idea Hollywood would come knocking on [his] door." An interviewer asks Danny what he's working on, and Danny says he'll be "running away from the public." Teck, on the other hand, loves the attention. We see a clip of Teck hosting Direct Effect. Teck says he wants to make records and movies someday, so he needs people to like him. Teck directly addresses the audience, telling us that he loves us and he appreciates the attention, but that he wishes we wouldn't rip his clothes or grab his butt. I pledge right now never to grab Teck's butt. Danny says that he "got sucked into the entertainment biz," and we see footage of his turn onDawson's Creek. Danny says that his DC character was straight, and he knows that some people in the gay community were disappointed that he played a straight character, but "it's called acting." Teck did an MTV movie called Lovesong, and we see some footage of that. Teck knows that he's blessed every day, and he really does seem grateful. Danny has become a poster boy for the gay community, which is good, but also he likes his privacy, and he's not the type of person to be speaking out at all times.
Andre, Becky, and Kevin all continue to talk at the photo shoot. Andre says that he's changed a lot. Becky points out that there was a lot of backlash when they started it, and now there isn't. Well, I don't think that's true. She should talk to someone from a recent season who has tried to get a record deal or an acting gig. Kevin says that people think he became a writer because of MTV, and the others agree. Kevin brings up the fact that people thought that Andre's band was created by MTV. If MTV were going to make a band, don't you think they could do better than Reigndance?
At the Christian virgin conference, Jon says that he thought people might recognize him occasionally, but that after two episodes aired, everyone recognized him. Kameelah tells a story to Neil and Kevin about being at Stanford when some friends of hers overheard a tour group of kids being asked whether they wanted to meet Chelsea Clinton or Kameelah from The Real World, and they all picked Kameelah. They all laugh. Kameelah still can't believe that the kids would rather meet her than the President's daughter.
John Norris voice-overs an introduction to television and movies inspired by The Real World, and we see a clip from EdTV. At the Christian virgin conference, Julie says that she related to the movie a lot, and Jon agrees. Elka points out that their situation was even weirder, because EdTV only had one cameraman, while they had many. We see some footage of the casts being filmed, and there are just tons of camera people and boom operators. I don't know how they can claim that they forget about the cameras. Julie says that people always ask her how it feels to have fans for doing nothing, and she gets a little offended, because she feels like she did something. Really? What, exactly? Okay, then. Julie doesn't like "people trivializing [her] life." Why is her life more important than anyone else's? I hate Julie.
weird photo shoot: Heather, Lindsay, and Sarah. John Norris says that the show "became a target for jokes and parodies." Look, I really don't mind that I got cut out of this special. Really. But this is the dumbest waste of time segment, and I can't believe it made the cut over me. It features parodies like "The Real Old World" with senior citizens, "The Surreal World" with a Star Wars theme, and "The Small World" featuring little people. I think they were all public-access shows. Then they show practically the entire Celebrity Deathmatch episode featuring Puck versus Jon. Puck complains about the person who did his voice, even though it sounds just like him. Puck says that Jon had to win, because in monster movies, virgins can't be killed. Jon brags that he won, like that means something. ["They didn't show the SNL parody with Bob Dole? Damn." -- Wing Chun]
Melissa and Eric are back to introduce the #5 moment in Real World history. It's Heather taking a big digger while walking the dog. That's probably my favorite moment, actually, but I like the funny stuff more than the drama. ["That was pretty funny." -- Wing Chun] Aw, I miss New York Julie.
Time to go back to the party. Dan talks to Heather and Norm. Dan asks Norm whether he still has the dog, but Gouda has "gone to doggy heaven." Cynthia asks how Jason compares The Real World to other reality shows. Jason somehow transformed into Seth Green's character in Can't Hardly Wait, and I can't understand his answer. Norm tells Dan that he's proud to be "part of this whole shebang," and he's kind of shocked that it went beyond the first season, "but it's actually really nice." Heather agrees. Cut to people dancing, including Rebecca looking more and more drunk as the night goes on. Dan asks New Orleans Julie whether she's gone to church lately. Julie is shocked that he'd even have to ask; she says that her boyfriend is Mormon too, and that she's still a virgin, but then agrees with Dan that it's nobody's business. Cynthia gets the scoop from Lindsay, who is doing a radio show in Atlanta. Lindsay really needs to stop tanning, stat. Her skin is looking pretty bad. And she still looks like a Muppet with all that hair. Dan tells Julie that she's done the best at taking all the attention in stride. He must be drunk, because she so has not. Julie is glad she did it, and met everyone. Cynthia talks to Jason, who is so annoying that I can't listen to him. Dan talks to Beth A. about her wife and daughter. Her daughter is two. Dan and Beth A. talk about how the show has helped "alternative lifestyles" to be accepted. They both congratulate themselves a lot.
John Norris introduces the Pedro segment. What can I say about it? Mohammed says that Pedro was always getting letters from people around the world, and that he always replied to all of them. Judd says that President Clinton called Pedro at home, and that says something. We hear a recording of that call, in which Clinton expresses his appreciation for all Pedro had done to raise awareness. At a press conference after Pedro's death, a doctor reminds us that Pedro's legacy is that we shouldn't forget all of the other HIV-positive people. We see footage of the funeral, which I really didn't need to see. I know he died. President Clinton challenges us to continue Pedro's battle. Mohammed says that he learned from Pedro to live every minute. We see some footage from a speech Pedro gave, in which he wondered who would pick up his torch. Cut to footage of a party for Judd's book, Pedro & Me. I'm going to refrain from commenting on that. Pam says that she works in HIV prevention and care because of Pedro. Okay, this is kind of tasteless. Pam says that Pedro knew before he died that she and Judd were getting together. Like, way to spoil the Pedro tribute with news about yourself. Judd says that he and Pam are getting married in August. Pam jokes that they thought about naming a child Pedro, but it sounds strange: Pedro Ling-Winick. Yes, that does sound strange. Please don't allow Judd to reproduce.
It's time for #4 of the greatest moments in Real World history. Melissa and Eric tease Ruthie about her actions on the first day there. Ruthie makes a joke about Teck's penis, and I'm going to throw up, so they cut right to the moment: Teck and Ruthie jumping naked into the swimming pool.
And we're back to the party. Dan asks Judd and Pam about their wedding, but I already talked about that a few paragraphs back, and I don't want to think about it anymore. Teck asks Cynthia whether she's married or engaged, and Cynthia says it's just a plain old ring. Teck's drunk. Eric and Jo do a confessional together where they discuss the color of their eyes. Are they hooking up? Pam shows off her engagement ring. Eric and Jo read a question that says, "Do you have a secret crush on anyone from another cast?" They look at each other and crack up. I don't really like either of them, but it was a cute moment. Then, tragedy happens and my tape cuts out for a minute, and they aren't repeating these party segments when the show this special again. We come back to see Dan asking Stephen if he's dating men or women now. Stephen says that's a good question, but doesn't answer. Teck and Cynthia flirt some more. Dan calls Ruthie one of the hottest women in the room. Lars asks why they never pick any hot chicks to be on the show. Flora flashes her bra. Classy. Amaya and Melissa dance. Becky mugs for the camera. Ruthie says that Rebecca just hit on her. Rebecca? Still really drunk. Lindsay tells the confessional camera that she went to high school with Jamie, and that she had a big crush on him back then. Lindsay claims that she was only a year ahead of him, which doesn't seem right, but I did the math and it works. Jamie was twenty-two when he was cast in 2000, so he was probably born in 1978. Lindsay was still in college when she was on the show in 1998, so she was probably 21, meaning that she was born in 1977. It's just hard to believe because Lindsay looks about eighty years old now. Dan asks Ruthie whether it's hard to have a relationship with all the media attention, and Ruthie babbles something dumb. Jon says he still has a crush on Irene, but she's married with a kid. Irene is still a cop and still boring. Jon could do better, double chin and all.
Jesus, how long is this thing? John Norris says that the show has dealt with pressing social issues. We revisit Tami's abortion during the L.A. season. At the first reunion, Tami reveals that she was given the choice whether or not to show the abortion decision on camera. She decided to show it so that young people could see the consequences of unsafe sex. I don't even think they showed that footage in the first reunion -- I couldn't find it in the recap anyway. up: Lindsay's reaction to Suicide Bill's death. Jesus, I just recapped this. Do I have to watch it again? It's painful to watch. John Norris tells us that the show is one of the few aimed at young people to deal with religion. Cut to the Christian virgin panel, where Julie says she felt like she was "representing for Mormonism." Elka asks whether Julie's going to continue Mormonism, and Julie says that her faith is as much a part of her as her last name is. Sigh. Still don't care about Julie's religion.
John Norris tells us that nothing has fueled as many fights on the show as race relations. Flashback to Kevin and Julie's fight about racism. In present day, Kevin says he didn't have emotional maturity then. ["No!" -- Wing Chun] Kameelah says that it took place right around the Rodney King incident, and she needed to hear that other black people were angry too. Mohammed tells Beth A. that he feels like he represents the whole black culture. Beth A. says she doesn't mind, because that's why she went on the show. John Norris also claims that the show was one of the first to deal with homosexual issues. Hey, what about Soap and Three's Company? Oh, he probably didn't mean sitcoms. Flashback to Norm worrying about his roommates' reaction to his sexuality. In an interview, Dan talks about how he was influenced by seeing Norm on television. Flashback to the little girl at the CCC in Boston saying that she hates gay people, and Kameelah giving her a lesson while Genesis cries. Back at the present day, Kameelah says that she learned that things on the show could open up conversations among the viewers. Neil talks about the possibility of one kid in the Midwest not getting beat up because of something that was represented on the show. And I know on the forums we all make fun of people learning about differences from this show, and how dumb that is, but you know what? It happens. I remember arguing about Norm's being gay, and whether or not homosexuality is a sin, when the New York season aired and I was at a Catholic college. Would we have had that conversation anyway? Maybe. Maybe not. But it happens. Even if they are being a little too self-congratulatory about it.
Eric and Melissa are back to introduce #3 on the countdown of greatest moments. Melissa doesn't want to talk about it, but it's when she got drunk and stripped in New Orleans. Hee! That was funny. It's funnier now that I've seen the whole season and can appreciate how out of character it was for Melissa to get so drunk.
Back at the party, Dan brings up Melissa stripping. How many times are we going to hear this? Kat and Sharon go to a confessional and discuss Brazilian bikini waxes. Cynthia is lying on top of Kevin on a couch somewhere. Dan calls Flora "the pioneering spirit in the bitch reality TV movement" and asks if she's "a positive role model for the bitch community in America." Hee! Flora is honored to be called a bitch. Eric says that they are the only people in entertainment to be themselves all the time. Shut up, Eric. Sharon tells the viewers only to go on the show if they are certifiably insane. Flora claims that she's a very nice person. Teck does a rap in the confessional. Then comes the "my CD is coming out soon" montage. Heather B. has a CD coming out. So does Stephen. So does Jon, who actually has a copy in hand. Ruthie has a song coming out. Mohammed has a studio in his house. Rebecca has a CD out. New Orleans David has a CD out. I'm sure they will all be available soon in bargain bins everywhere.
John Norris introduces the "production crew crosses the line" segment. First up: Becky and Bill in New York. Now Becky says that she's not proud but she's not ashamed. At the first reunion, Becky tells an audience member that she does feel a little responsible for Bill getting fired. Yet another segment that wasn't in the reunion special we saw. Heather tells Jon and Rachel about Becky's affair. Heather reveals that the affair was going on for a while, but didn't really blossom until the girls went to Jamaica. John Norris voice-overs that after Becky and Bill, the production staff had to sign contracts saying that they wouldn't get involved with the cast, "but that didn't stop Kira and David." Montage of David being really fucking dramatic. At the 2000 reunion, David says that he doesn't regret the relationship. At the Christian virgin conference, Julie brings up when David said, "You don't even know!" Hey, I thought she never watched the show before she went on it! Julie says that you aren't allowed to talk to production, so it's really naughty to think about someone having a relationship. Elka says that after she went to see her mother's grave, the director thanked her for sharing that moment. Jon says that the show is about having your life touch people.
Back at the party, Cynthia introduces the DJ for the party. It's Lars. People dance. Dan interviews Sean and Rachel, who reveal that they just flew in from Wisconsin. Heather and Cynthia agree that "it's a blessing to have everyone together like this." Cory tells Dan that she is teaching in Costa Rica, and flew home just for the party. She looks great, by the way. Sean reveals that Rachel is pregnant with their second kid. Dan interviews Andy Dick, asking him which season was his favorite. Andy Dick says that he mixes them all up in his head, and he thinks Puck was on with the guy who slapped that bitch. Dan says that Stephen went through anger management. Lindsay whispers something that I can't hear and it's not captioned on my tape. Dan asks Stephen whether, with all the buzz about the slap, it's difficult to move beyond the incident. Stephen responds, "I love the buzz, but who's Irene?" I hate him. Dan replies, "Maybe if you smacked me around a little bit, I could remember." I love Dan. Andy Dick claims that Stephen introduced himself as "that guy who slapped that bitch." ["I hope that's true, and that some incredibly crazed Irene fan Valerie Solanases Stephen's punk ass." -- Wing Chun]
Dan asks Amaya about Colin's and Matt's not being there. Amaya says it's not really her problem. Teck says he's not surprised, since they didn't come to the reunion either. Ruthie says that if you want to ask about that, you watch too much television. Dan asks L.A. David whether the stigma of being the first person kicked off a reality television show will ever wear off. David says he started "the tribal council." Dan, at a loss for words, responds, "Well, you've gotta be proud of something." Heh. In a confessional, Andre holds up a fist with the word "PUCK" written on his knuckles, one letter per finger. Andre says that Puck has "a lot of misguided anger." When did Andre turn into a fatter Johnny Depp? Rachel and Sean reveal that they have one of Puck's dogs. Syrus yells that Puck is a rock star. Dan asks Miami Mike what their deal was with not starting a business. Mike says it meant nothing, and that they never could have started a business; they joke about keeping the money, which they totally didn't get to do. Mike is really drunk. Sarah tells Cynthia that she feels very uncomfortable there. Wouldn't you be? I mean, besides the people from your own season, you don't know these people, and you're instantly supposed to be friends with them. David from New Orleans talks so fast that I can't understand him, but I think he said something about learning from his mistakes. Melissa and Kelley from New Orleans say that they've made up and are friends. New Orleans David says that being on the show allows you to be yourself, and to find out whether you like who you are. Or, you could just have a semblance of self-awareness and find that out without going on the show.
Eric and Melissa are back, but before they reveal the top moment in Real World history, they have to go to New York. Then they are somehow magically transported to New York, and they're in the Season Ten New York house. We don't get to see much of it, but it's huge. Finally, they reveal that the #1 moment in Real World history was the Miami three-way. It still cracks me up when Flora tries to hoist her ass through the window. After watching the footage, Melissa asks Miami Mike for the truth on what happened. Mike claims that he "took a back seat and watched the two of them do a little spanky sucky." AAARGH! Too much information.
John Norris thanks us for voting online. Now it's time to find out what the show meant to the cast members. Becky says she's happy she did it. Heather says she shares a connection with her former roommates. Nathan says that the show gives you the opportunity to change, because you see yourself. Syrus says that being on the show "touches each and every sense that you have as a human being." Janet, who wasn't at the photo shoot nor at the party, somehow appears in an interview, where she says that life isn't supposed to be the way it is on television, and it's not a twenty-two-minute up-and-down experience. John Norris voice-overs that, while in New York, Eric shared an experience with the cameras. Eric and Melissa get all serious in Central Park. Eric explains that he went into show business because he had no other options without a college degree. Wow, I was unaware that not going to college meant that you have to go into show business. Eric says that he hosted The Grind and he got a manager who had power of attorney and handled all of his business. ["Kim, why did you stop recapping the anniversary special and start recapping the MC Hammer episode of Behind the Music?" -- Wing Chun] Just when I think he's going to start talking about "the bad touch," Eric reveals that his manager stole a quarter of a million dollars from him. Wait, Eric had a quarter of a million dollars at one point? Couldn't his NBA referee dad have hooked him up with a lawyer? Anyway, this caused Eric to consider suicide, but he decided to rebuild himself. This is a sad story and everything, but it's Eric! I can't take him seriously. Eric claims that the experience has caused him to be "a responsible, respectful, and humble human being." Heh.
At the Christian virgin conference, Julie tells Elka that she was really inspired by watching the Boston season. She was the only one. And again, I thought that Julie wasn't allowed to watch the show before she went to New Orleans. At the other mini-conference, Kevin says that the show reminds him of college: he doesn't want to go back, but he's glad he had the experience. He knows it changed his life and has affected people he will never meet. Neil says that once you've been that exposed, you can't lie anymore, even when you're not being filmed. Kevin agrees. Neil says that the show lets you see that human beings are different, but still connect.
Before you get too warm and fuzzy, Puck picks a fight with Nathan during the big photo shoot. Everyone heckles him. Puck grabs a megaphone and starts yelling. In an interview, Puck says that he didn't get any money from the show, and that he didn't do the show to be famous. Instead, he went on the show so that his family could see him and know how he really is. Puck goes over to his mom, who he brought to the photo shoot; she gives him a sip of beer and tells him to go get his picture taken. John Norris voice-overs that the show is big enough to include everyone. The photographer counts down and takes the big group photo. I like Pam's monkey t-shirt. John Norris refers to the show as "the story of a generation." Come fucking on. John Norris finally -- God, finally -- wraps it up and says goodbye.
But it's not over. First, we see a slow-motion montage of footage from all the seasons interspersed with footage from the photo shoot. Aw, Dom. I wish you were there. We finally get to see the final photo, and learn that it was taken on May 17, 2001.
Back at the party, everyone is really drunk. Dan signs off. Elka says that the show is about being able to go out and make something of yourself, and being able to come back years later and say, "This is what The Real World has done for me." Cynthia says that everyone has changed. Dan says that everyone is the same. Syrus says that the show has helped him in ways he can't express, and he can share his personal life with the world. Teck says that once you are on the show, things change. Sharon, Kat, and Cory yell over each other. Sharon hopes we appreciate "the balls that it took to give [themselves] to [us]." Kat says that we called them fat, ugly, and boring. Clearly, these girls have visited MBTV. Lindsay rasps that people are trying to figure out who they are. Jon thinks that he's changed the least because he doesn't drink and listens to country music. Cory says that doing the show transforms your life and opens you to new ideas and experiences. I wonder how the rest of us manage to live without going on the show. Lars is my hero, because he wishes he had never done the show. New Orleans David says that they came together as a family this time. Cory babbles more about growth and change. Lindsay says that being on the show makes you a better person. Please! Stop talking! I want to end this recap before the summer is over! Andre holds up his hand, and the word "You" is written on his palm. He closes his hand and says, "Don't believe the hype." How many drugs did he do at that party, anyway? Cynthia says goodnight and I think it's really over! Hooray!
Over the credits, Pam tells a story about working in the jail ward at a psychiatric hospital. She was alone in a locked room, and there was a guy outside banging on the window, chanting, "I want my medicine!" Finally she told him she didn't have it, and he said, "Hey, you're from The Real World!" Then he said he wanted to talk to her for five minutes, and started chanting, "Just five minutes!" Pam is cute. Why is she with Judd, again? ["Maybe working in a psychiatric hospital made her feel sorry for mentally challenged people like Judd." -- Wing Chun] Also, my name is in the credits, under "Thanks To:" along with about a million other people. I'm so proud. And so glad this is over!