We open with a montage of the "highlights" of the season, most of which feature two roommates (and sometimes three) making out in various combinations. After the credits, Hilarie Burton welcomes us to the reunion and introduces all of the roommates, minus Trishelle. Hilarie pronounces Irulan "Air-lahn" which cracked me up for some reason, and also reinforces the fact that she didn't actually watch the season and is just reading questions that someone else wrote. Why oh why can't they get someone to host these reunions that has actually watched the season? Hilarie claims that Trishelle is "out of the country," and that's all we get on her situation.
Hilarie opens up the questioning by saying something about "Sin City" and then asking if the roommates think that this was the "raciest" season ever. Silence. Brynn finally breaks in and says that she does, because she realized at one point that she had kissed all of her roommates. She did? I guess if she was in more than five episodes throughout the season, we might know that. Hilarie asks who was the best kisser. Brynn says that it was Irulan, and everyone cheers because two chicks kissing is cool. Hilarie asks Alton if he wants to back that up, and Alton just smiles. So is she trying to say that Alton has also kissed everyone in the house? Because that would actually be interesting. Hilarie uses this opportunity to introduce a montage of the dirtiest moments of the season. They are: Trishelle and Steven hooking up, Alton hooking up in the tub, the girls topless in Australia, Frank getting a lap dance, Brynn and Trishelle hooking up with Steven at the same time, discussion of Alton's giant penis, Frank hooking up with that skank, Trishelle and Brynn making out, and Arissa saying that she's in a porn she can't escape.
Hilarie asks the roommates what they were thinking, since they knew their antics were being taped. Steven jokes that it was all done in the editing and no one actually hooked up. Hilarie asks if the Vegas setting made the show "spicy." Steven says it was, but also the fact that his roommates were so beautiful. Everyone applauds. Hilarie keeps trying to work the "Vegas is crazy" angle for some reason, and Brynn finally agrees that Vegas may have had something to do with it. Hilarie asks Frank specifically how he felt in Vegas, since he comes from a small town. Frank says that he thought they would probably party a lot, like every weekend. Everyone laughs as Frank says they partied every night and day. Hilarie says that Arissa behaved herself, and Steven says, "Except the last day." They show a clip of Arissa and Steven kissing, but Hilarie doesn't ask any follow-ups about that -- not that there is anything interesting to be gleaned at this point, but then why bring it up?
Hilarie introduces the fight scenes montage by saying something about boxing. We see: Frank calling Arissa a "bitchy black chick," Alton and Irulan's wrestling match, the aftermath of Brynn's forking, Arissa getting her head hit by the confessional door, Arissa and Steven swearing at each other, Arissa hitting that girl in the club, and one final clip of Alton and Irulan's fight where he has her in a figure-four leglock and I swear to God she has her thumb up his ass. Ew.
Hilarie comments that everyone seems to get along now. Brynn jokes that she always carries a fork with her. Steven says that he wishes that fight had never happened and he's glad Brynn stayed. Brynn says that she doesn't take it back, because she learned from it. Irulan says that if she were in a fight with Alton, she would still give him the elbow drop. Steven says that he learned that it only takes a 105-lb. girl to hold him back as we see Arissa holding him back from Brynn. Hilarie asks why there weren't any fights with Trishelle. Steven jokes that Trishelle is tough, and someone else says that she was scary. Hilarie stupidly asks if they're serious. Shut up, Hilarie. Also, spell your name right. Hilarie brings up Frank and Arissa's fight and how Arissa wouldn't even hug Frank afterwards. Arissa says that feels she could have "taken it in another direction," but once you do or say something, it's out there and you can't take it back.
Hilarie points out that they all had to be over twenty-one to live in the casino, so they were all of legal drinking age. This sets up a drunky montage: people drinking, people drinking, people stumbling, people puking, people making out (mostly Steven and Trishelle), Alton fighting with Frank, people dancing, Frank and his skank, Brynn doing shots, everyone toasting, and Brynn puking. Fascinating.
Hilarie asks if the drinking was the leading factor for the mayhem in Vegas. Didn't she just ask if being in Vegas was what made them act so crazy, and everyone said yes? So now it's not Vegas, it's the alcohol? Stupid, stupid questions. Everyone talks at once. Hilarie asks how they maintained their jobs and their relationships while being surrounded by temptation. Frank says they didn't really do their job, and Irulan says that they got drunk every day and went to the spa. Frank says their job was to go out and get drunk and party. Hilarie asks if they have any regrets regarding drunken behavior. Arissa says she doesn't remember. Hilarie thinks Frank looks sheepish, and everyone laughs. Frank says that he agreed to be on the show while he was drunk, which he regrets. Ha ha. Ha? I thought Frank was the funny one. I also just noticed that when trying to segue, Hilarie always says, "Okay, very cool," or some variant of that. It's very annoying. But if I were going to do a spoof of her, that would be one of the things I would use.
Hilarie awkwardly segues between Steven being drunk and his hooking up with Trishelle. It's the horny drunken montage, in which we see: Steven and Trishelle humping, Steven and Trishelle making out, Steen and Trishelle feeling each other up, Steven burying his face in Trishelle's boobs, Steven saying they should just be friends, Steven feeling Trishelle up, Steven telling Trishelle he loves her and then regretting it, Frank getting in the middle of the Steven/Trishelle relationship but not in the way he would like, Trishelle saying she won't be "the chaser," and Steven expressing regret about their relationship.
When the montage ends, Steven yells out that he does love Trishelle and that she's a great friend and he wouldn't change anything. Hilarie asks if they are still good friends. Steven says she lives three streets away from him. Hilarie asks how often they get together, and Steven says they don't "get together" anymore, but they do hang out. Hilarie is glad to hear that, and asks what they think when they look back at this footage. What, is Steven supposed to answer for Trishelle too? Steven says he thinks he's a lucky guy that Trishelle was dumb enough to hook up with him. Oh, Steven and his false modesty. How I haven't missed it. Hilarie asks if they wish they had waited a little longer before hooking up. Steven says they should have waited at least forty-eight hours, and everyone laughs. Hilarie asks if it was stressful hooking up with a roommate. Steven says it was, and everyone agrees that at first it was annoying and weird, but then they got used to it.
Hilarie says that Frank broke her heart because she thought it was going to happen for him. All this to introduce a montage of "Frank being dismissed," which is basically a recap of the first episode where Steven encourages Frank to go for it with Trishelle and then Steven hooks up with Trishelle himself. Then Frank gets a visit from Emily and starts a relationship with her, and then kisses Trishelle, and then breaks up with Emily. Hilarie says that Frank is noble. Frank says he regrets the first thirty-six hours because he doesn't feel left out or betrayed, and he went on to become great friends with Steven and Trishelle. Frank adds that he broke up with Emily because they weren't getting along, and kissing Trishelle had nothing to do with it. Frank does a strange robot dance while saying this, and Steven and Arissa totally mock him.
Hilarie has some questions from the internet. Someone asks Frank if he has more luck with the ladies now that he's semi-famous. Frank says it doesn't hurt, but that you can tell when someone is only interested in you because you were on television.
Hilarie brings up the other big couple of the season, Irulan and Alton. This leads to a montage of Irulan and Alton making out a lot, Gabe coming to visit, Alton feeling weird about it, the whole tent thing, Irulan lying to Gabe about it, Alton claiming he had a threesome in Australia, Irulan screaming at Alton for lying about it, and Alton and Irulan getting back together. Wow, that made about as much sense as it did the first time I saw all of those clips. That is to say, no sense at all.
Hilarie asks Alton and Irulan if they are still together, and they admit that they are. Hilarie asks for a round of applause, and people actually clap. Fuck off, audience members. Why are you applauding? Hilarie asks if they are living together. Irulan says they are living together in California, and Alton adds that they have a dog. I can't think of two people less equipped to take care of another living being than Alton and Irulan. I imagine their dog is the type that bites people, and probably when they break up in six months, they will take the dog to the pound. I hate them. Hilarie asks what made their relationship different than Steven and Trishelle's relationship. Alton says it was a relationship, and everyone laughs. Alton babbles about communication, which is hilarious. Hilarie asks how long it took them to finally realize that they wanted to be together. Irulan says it took their whole time in Vegas to figure it out. Steven says it took too long, and Arissa agrees. Hilarie asks why they tortured each other. Because they are both drama queens? Alton and Irulan blame it on the cameras and the roommates and blah blah blah.
Hilarie brings up Alton's threesome, and here's what Alton says: "That goes down, at least for me, with the alcohol and just like, I walked into the room, really drunk. The problem was, I forgot that I ever said that. Like, 'I never said that! I never said that!' And I'm like, 'Oh shit. I did say that. My bad.' You know? So that was the big problem." So did he or did he not have a threesome? And how shitty is it that Hilarie doesn't ask a follow-up question there? Hilarie asks Irulan how she felt about the situation after seeing the episodes. Irulan says she hated it, but they are in a different place now. People in the audience go, "Awww!" and I really hate the people in the audience right now. Hilarie asks another internet question, in which someone wants to know if Alton and Irulan will ever get married. They both cringe and say they're just taking it one day at a time.
Hilarie says that we're going to watch a montage of Brynn's relationships. We see: Brynn talking about Austin, Brynn hooking up with Mo, Austin arriving for a visit, Brynn telling Austin about Mo, Arissa bringing Mo for a visit while Austin is there, Brynn getting mad because Irulan sat on Mo's lap, and Brynn talking about how much she cares about Austin.
Brynn wipes away tears as the montage ends. Hilarie asks her if Austin is still in the picture. Brynn says that she's engaged, and points to her ring. Everyone claps. Hilarie asks if it was lonely for Brynn to go to Vegas without Austin. Brynn says she only met Austin a week before she left, so when he came to visit, they barely knew each other. Brynn adds that she and Mo were just friends and never did anything more than kiss while drunk. Um, didn't we just see a shot in that montage of Brynn and Mo in bed together looking fairly naked? I think someone is writing some revisionist history now. Hilarie asks Brynn if she's grown from her experience in Vegas. Brynn says that the past year has been intense for her, and the show was "a growing experience." Hilarie brings up that Brynn was jealous of Steven and Trishelle. Brynn says it had more to do with her insecurity and loneliness. Brynn says that she was insecure because of how beautiful the other girls in the house are, but they taught her to be more sure of herself. Hilarie congratulates Brynn on her engagement. Hmm -- no mention of Brynn's pregnancy, though. Interesting.
Now for some questions from the audience. The first person asks if it bothers them that the show was based on hookups instead of their personalities. Irulan says that it's a TV show and they have to try to get ratings. Frank complains that they never show his volunteer work for children's orphanages, and everyone laughs. The second person asks how often they thought about their actions being filmed. Frank says that they only thought of that after they had done something. Irulan says you get wrapped up in living your life. Brynn says that there was one hot cameraman, so they used to purposely not wear underwear when he had to mike them. What? That definitely deserves a follow-up question, but of course we don't get one. I'd love to hear the crew's impressions of each roommate. Steven jokes that the guy loved when he and Frank didn't wear underwear. Hilarie lamely takes us to commercial.
Hilarie welcomes us back by telling us that we're "knee-deep" in this special, and I have to take a few moments off to cry a little bit. After pulling myself together, I return to the show as Hilarie tells Arissa that she's not off the hook. The Arissa montage includes: Arissa talking about how much she loves Dario, Arissa getting jealous when Dario talks to another woman, Arissa saying that she can't change overnight, Arissa deciding that she's too dependent on Dario for her happiness, Arissa telling Dario she needs space, Dario telling Arissa that she sucks and Arissa getting pissed and turning into her mother a little bit, Arissa's mother drunk-calling Frank, Arissa fighting with her mother, Arissa having second thoughts about breaking up with Dario, Arissa finding out that Dario knocked up some other chick, and Arissa telling Dario he's pathetic and burning all of their pictures. I have to say that when they put it all in a montage like that, Arissa's storyline seemed kind of interesting. It was all of the crap in between that was boring.
Hilarie says that everyone liked the fire, and asks if the hotel manager knew about it. Everyone says that the manager knows now. Hilarie asks if Arissa still speaks to Dario and how their relationship stands. Arissa says she does speak to Dario, and it's mostly friendly but there is some drama. An audience member asks Arissa if she regrets anything she said about her family on television. Arissa says she doesn't regret it because she meant it at the time, and that she gets along with her mother really well now, especially since she lives across the country from her. Hilarie buys into the storyline of Arissa's big change and asks if her roommates played a part in that. Arissa says that all of her roommates are great and they all taught her something. Hilarie asks the others about the biggest change they saw in Arissa. Arissa answers, "That she's not crazy," and gets a big laugh. Steven says that Arissa was really defensive when she arrived in Vegas, but she realized that she had to change and was amazing. Irulan and Alton pipe up to say that Arissa was amazing from the beginning, which was kind of a slam on Steven, wasn't it? Frank says he didn't talk to Arissa much the first month they lived together, but it all came to a head (no pun intended?) when she busted him hooking up in the confessional. Frank says that after that, they have been good friends.
Hilarie introduces a confessional montage, and we see: people wrestling, Alton and Irulan having sex, Frank and some chick making out, Alton playing the violin, Irulan fixing her boobs, Irulan stating that she's drunk, Arissa slurring that her tape can never be shown, and in the most interesting and unexplained segment, Brynn sitting in the chair in front of Irulan, gasping, while Steven's head bobs in and out of the bottom of the frame. Was he going down on her? While Irulan was sitting there too? And if so, why was that not shown in an episode?
Hilarie asks if they didn't realize that the confessionals were being taped. Irulan says that they didn't know the tape was always rolling, because they thought they controlled the camera. Oh, silly Real World people. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- always assume that you're on camera when you're in the suite. Hilarie laughs that they didn't know about it. Irulan points out that their bedrooms didn't have doors, so the confessional was the only room with a door. Brynn claims that she doesn't remember the scene with her, Steven, and Irulan. She says that she remembers that he pretended to go down on her, but then everyone else told her that he really did it. There's mass confusion, and Hilarie yells out, "Wait, did he or didn't he?" Through shitty editing, all we see is Brynn shrugging, and we never get an answer. I hate MTV.
Hilarie asks if they ever worried about their roommates seeing stuff that was said about them when the episodes aired. Irulan says she wasn't, because they "kept it pretty real" and talked to each other when they had problems. Maybe that's why the season was so boring. Although I think Trishelle might beg to differ, since all of the other girls totally accused her of having an eating disorder behind her back. Brynn says that the cameras helped her be more honest, because after her interviews, she would talk to the roommate in question and tell them what she said. Arissa says the producers had to tell her that she hadn't done a confessional in two weeks, so she would just go in there drunk with Irulan or she would go in and say nothing.
A member of the audience asks who hasn't had sex in the confessional. All the roommates but Irulan and Alton raise their hands. Arissa tries to get Frank to put his hand down. Hilarie says that it depends on your definition of sex. Irulan says that some people are lying, and Alton agrees. Hilarie asks who's lying and tells Arissa to point it out. Arissa pointedly looks at both Frank and Steven, and everyone laughs.
An audience member asks how they dealt with the cameras following them everywhere. Arissa says that she tried to escape them, and talks about a hidden room that they went into called "The Labyrinth." We see a quick shot of someone disappearing into a small door in a hallway. Everyone starts talking at once. Hilarie asks where the room was, and Arissa explains that it was one of two rooms that production didn't use, and one time she busted in and found a cameraman sleeping. See, now that was interesting to me. I would have liked a tour of The Labyrinth and more information about it.
Hilarie introduces some of the footage that didn't make it into the show. The first few scenes are people running into cameras, which isn't that funny unless someone falls down. Like, if you've seen the shot of CJP taking a digger on the Real World You Never Saw: Chicago DVD, you know what I'm talking about. Frank asks the other boys if their room smells, and they all agree that it does not. Montage of the guys smelling their clothes. Frank tries to drive a stick shift and fails miserably. Steven dumps Trishelle into Alton's bed and rubs her around in it. The boys take all of the furniture apart and rearrange it. People fart. Brynn sprays Frank with shaving cream. Frank dumps a glass of water on the floor and then Alton follows suit, and Frank announces that the drama alarm is going to go off. Steven does a confessional about his remote control car, saying that he charged it up and it only ran for thirty seconds. Frank says he's had sex for longer than the car was alive. Frank's mom tells him to wash his sheets at least once a month. Frank says he does every four and a half months. She says that you're supposed to do it once a week. Frank protests that he doesn't sweat on them, and his mom gives him a look like, "Please don't let America think that I raised a stinky slob." Hilarie plugs the season's DVD.
Hilarie asks the roommates what they thought about the footage, and if there was anything that should have been on there. Steven brings up the possum attack in Australia, which he also talked about at length in the book, and I think he's the only one who thinks this was funny or a big deal. Long story short, Steven got a possum drunk in Australia and it bit his finger and wouldn't let go. I kind of wish it had bitten his face. Frank claims that the possum bit him as well, but it really didn't hurt. Steven yells this story at the top of his lungs.
Hilarie asks if there's anything the roommates want to get off their chests. Arissa says that she really doesn't cry that much; nor does she claim that she has to change that much. Frank says he's not Amish. Who thought he was Amish? Irulan says she was having a mousse problem early on in the season and she looked like Rick James. They put up a split screen of Irulan and Rick James, and they do kind of look alike.
An audience members asks everyone what they miss the most about Vegas. Brynn says the free rent and free car were great. Someone says the spa privileges were great. Another audience member asks if they would still go on the show if they had it to do over. Steven says he's gotten to do so many amazing things during and after the show, and it was a great experience. Brynn says she would do it again if she could, but she would lie and be fake. She feels that "MTV represented [her] but not the way that [she] truly [is]." First of all, I don't think MTV had much to do with the editing, from what I understand. Of this reunion, yes, but not of the show proper. Brynn says that she feels like she got the shaft because she wasn't on the show much. Well, you have to actually do interesting things to get on the show. Okay, scratch that. This season, you had to either hook up with a roommate, or cry a lot, or get in fights. Brynn did that early on, and she was on the show, but then she calmed down, and she wasn't. In conclusion, whatever. Arissa says that it's cool to have four months of her life on tape. Alton says you can give it to your kids. Who would show this to their kids? Frank says that he regrets eating the sink pizza. Steven says that people are confused about his marital status, and that he and his ex-wife were separated when he went on the show and his ex-wife is getting remarried soon. Hilarie wraps things up. I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of missed Trishelle.