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As we begin, Anya and Josh M. are expressing some anxiety about not winning more (or any) challenges, though they haven't really received a lot of criticism. Heidi tells the designers that they will be working in two teams of five and everyone is unexcited. She also says that no one will be the leader. Anthony gets first choice because he won the last challenge. He gets first choice, so he chooses Anya. Heidi chooses a button from the button bag for the first person on the second team and it's Josh. He asks if he's the leader. No, bitch. Everybody's starting to hate him. Get in line. He chooses Laura. Anya chooses Viktor. Laura chooses Kimberly (she's not excited). Viktor chooses Olivier. Kimberly chooses Becky (she's not excited). Olivier chooses Bryce, which means that Bert is last choice. Heidi is sad for him. Bert is not excited to be working with Josh and Laura.
Tim tells the designers that they will be creating textiles from their designs. The challenge is to create five looks for a collection, then create a full-fledged fashion show, with all of the trappings (i.e. music, projections, human sacrifices, etc.). At least three of the looks from each collection need to include the textile designs and they need to be prominent. Betsey Johnson is a guest! She tells the designers that "the girl" is where she starts. What is that girl like, what does she like to do?
The Josh team is a disaster from the get-go, while Anthony's team is on fire. Josh M. needs a fucking spanking. He is so crazy with Bert, who is not a teddy bear, but COME ON. He's all like, "I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!" Everybody seems to know that he's being an asshole though. So crazy. Everyone seems to think his mother's death is the reason for his behavior? Seriously, the other team is in heaven. People go out in the city with video cameras to capture footage for the fashion shows. Josh films Laura in lots of shoes. I hate him so much, but he does apologize at the end of the day for his crazy behavior. Bert is skeptical but accepts the apology.
Laura talks some smack about Becky's design and things get tense quickly. Tim comes in and really senses the cohesion amongst the Anthony team. The other team doesn't fare as well, obviously. Tim asks them to join hands and like pray or something. It's heavy. Josh calls his dad and we find out that his late mother's birthday had just passed. Ugh -- this is sad. He's got a lot of shit going on.
Olivier is slow again. He spends all of his time on his jacket and freaks his teammates out by procrastinating with his pants. The guest judges are Rachel Roy (gorgeous) and Rose Byrne (don't even get me started, she's so freaking gorgeous). Team Nuts & Bolts (Josh's team) does a really good job with their projections, but their collection is questionable. Kimberly, who chose not to use any of the team textiles, made the best look, per Jeff's opinion. You know though? It's pretty cohesive, this collection. Team Chaos (Anthony's team) NA-hails it. But, let's see what the judges think. Team Chaos wins. Michael says that the tailoring on Olivier's jacket is some of the best he has ever seen on the show. He loves the projection they used (influenced by Anya's suggestions). He doesn't love Bryce's look. Nina echoes Michael's sentiments about Olivier's jacket. She also finds it very personal. All of them choose themselves as the person who should win the challenge (except for Bryce, who chooses Anya). Heidi thinks that Team N& B was too busy. Michael thinks that their prints were too literal. Rachel thinks that they manifested their theme with bad energy. They thought the projection looked like a dumb commercial. Rose didn't think the looks were flattering. Michael doesn't like Becky's look, minus the well-made jacket. Anya wins the challenge! Josh and Becky are the bottom two and Becky goes home.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers worked with some really talented high school students. Josh M. let us know that his mother passed away recently. Also, he had conflicts with both Bert and Becky. Anthony won the challenge and poor Josh C. was sent home for the second time.
It's morning at the Atlas Building and Anthony is in a great mood. He tells us that he loves having immunity but he would like to win again. Anya is applying her make-up and remarks that they are essentially the same group as a couple of weeks ago, just without Josh C. again. She interviews that she has been in the top- never in the bottom- and is starting to feel some pressure to achieve. Josh M. tells Bryce that he woke up pissed off that he didn't win the challenge. This is not a good attitude to have. Just be happy to be where you are, dude. But, Josh is always so eager to say something provocative, I can't imagine that he'll be chilling out any time soon.
At Parson's, Heidi tells the designers that they will be working in two teams of five for this challenge. Everyone seems immediately fatigued. She says that there will be no team leaders. Since Anthony won the last challenge, he gets to choose the first team member. He interviews that he wanted to choose someone who would complement is aesthetic, so he chooses Anya. Good call. Heidi chooses a button from the button bag to determine who will be the first member of the second team. It's Josh. He asks if that means he gets to be the leader, because he apparently didn't catch what Heidi Klum, standing in front of him on a runway, said about there being no leaders for this challenge. She, as well as several of the designers, repeats that information for him. He struts up to the runway as Kimberly interviews that Josh has been bossy from the beginning and bullies people that he thinks are weaker than him. He chooses Laura first. Then, Anya chooses Viktor. Laura chooses Kimberly and she interviews that she didn't want to be chosen for that team because of the attitudes and "stuff." Kimberly chooses Becky. Oh Lord. Becky, naturally, is not excited about working with Josh again. That leaves Bert and Bryce. Olivier chooses Bryce. Laura interviews that they were left with Bert. Heidi is sad for Bert that he is always the last chosen. Bert says that the group on the show is not made of people that he'd really enjoy working in groups with. He finds Laura and Josh to be clique-y, which they are. Heidi tells Bert to join his new team and he mumbles, "That's the bad news." Heidi asks him if he said that sucks and he says that he didn't. She says that she must be hearing things. Now, Bert does love to say shit under his breath, doesn't he? That's not helping him. Josh says that Bert is just waiting to annoy the crap out of him. I'm starting to have a problem figuring Josh out. Like, he seemed to start this competition as a reality show savvy bitch who wanted to be the dude that dropped the lines all the time. Now, though, he seems like maybe he's an incredibly high-strung crazy person who is full of unfocused rage. Anya says that Josh, Bert and Becky on one team is a disaster waiting to happen.
The designers meet Tim in the workroom. This is the HP/Intel challenge. They're going to be using lots of fancy computer. They get to create textile designs from scratch, which really excites Anthony because his background is in graphic design. Each team will create a five look collection as well as designing and producing a full-fledged fashion show. Viktor asks what that means and Tim says that they will choose music and projections and whatnot for their show. Fun! At least three designs from each collection need to prominently display the textile designs. Becky is nervous about getting all of this done in two days, along with also having to appear as if they have their shit together. Tim says that the technology that they're using is really special and HP/Intel has sent someone to give them advice about it. It's Betsey Johnson! She's rad. Laura interviews that she always says that she's the love child of Betsey Johnson and Oscar de la Renta...if they were to have a baby. It would be hard to be their love child otherwise, but I'm just being ornery. I think I've stopped liking her. There's something really bitchy and kind of stupid about her that just rubs me the wrong way. Here's Viktor in another one of his cute tees. He loves Betsey's hair. She says that her first task when creating a show is to think of the girl -- who is she? Is she tough, cool, etc? They watch a video of one of Betsey's shows. The projection is of the Brooklyn Bridge and there's even a dotted line on the runway to mimic the walkway on the bridge. Cool! We even get to see Betsey's trademark cartwheel. Crossing my fingers that Bert decides that he'd like a handspring to be his trademark. Betsey says that people have to throw away their egos and work for the team. Heh. I'm sure that she has no idea. Becky interviews that she's pumped now and thinks that they can do this.
Betsey somersaults out of the door and Tim tells them that they will have some time to caucus, then some time to design their textiles. The digital files will be sent away and they'll see the designs the day. So, the groups get together and Anthony proposes that they use ink blotting similar to Rorschach tests as a theme. Anya is totally on board and the rest seem to agree as well. That would be very helpful clothing. If you were wearing a certain pattern and someone else was reminded of their mother or of wood chippers or mud or poison ivy or something, you'd know to get the hell away from them as quickly as possible. At least that's what my zero knowledge of Rorschach testing tells me. I'm glad we had this time together.
And, then there's the other team. Josh M. says that he's thinking circus and carnival. Of course he is. Laura says that she's gaining inspiration from sea amoeba. I know, right? Bert's like, "Who?" I wonder if all of these people can see the elements of their failure at social interaction as well as we can. Because, it's clear that Josh M., while clearly imperious and overall just plain shitty, is also a little nervous. And, Bert, with his complete stillness, is entirely dismissive which can only feed those nerves. Laura seems nervous too, which only makes her speak more directly to Josh M. which feeds the clique-y impression that Bert has of them. Poor Becky is just trying to hang on, so I'm not even sure how much effect she's having on this motley crew. That said, Bert is probably acting like this as a defense because he's been steamrolled so many times when he tried to express an idea. But also, he needs to stop being so sensitive and actually PROCESS the thing that he keeps talking about -- he comes from a different world than these designers. So, logic would dictate that, if you come from a different world, chances are you express yourself in different ways. Maybe someone doesn't think you're stupid or washed-up; instead, they just talk loud and with lots of stupid one-liners and the most crazily drawn-on eyebrows this side of Jafar in Aladdin. Becky suggests that they do something gritty and Josh's arrives at The Village People. And, Laura actually entertains the idea and has the gall to interview that Bert and Becky were offering nothing creatively. I, uh, recommend that they take part in some Rorschach testing. Becky says that their lack of ability to come up with a cohesive idea is depressing.
Anything but depressing is Team Chaos, the name of Anthony's team. They're sailing along and all in agreement. The other team decides to go with clocks as their theme, which apparently Laura thinks is stupid. She recommends a black and white palette but Becky wonders if they want a color pop in there somewhere. Josh replies that, since they're making their own prints, Becky can put all the goddamn color she wants on her print. Wow. Becky, expert of human behavior that she is, deduces that Josh may not give a shit about this challenge. Josh interviews that he plans to be putting his own collection together in a few weeks and he'll be doing it all by his lonesome. Um, unless you completely screw up this challenge? Right? They are Team Nuts & Bolts, which is very close to what I would name them, minus the Bolts, of course. He laments that he's not the team leader, as if that were ever a possibility. I'm not sure his ears work so well, perhaps the result of years of pomade clogging them? Use your Brillcream responsibly, kids.
They get to work on their textile designs. Becky makes a print with lots of cogs and wheels. Bert makes some abstract pocket watches, which are pretty cool. Bryce is feeling a little bit of judgment from his fellow designers because he has yet to win a challenge, though I would argue it's because they have seen his designs. I mean, who the hell is Bryce, right? I still see him as the guy who makes boring, silly clothes out of pee-pee pads. Becky notes that her design is less casual than those of the other designers, which creates a lack of cohesion. Bert can't get his design to print out, but Laura wants to go ahead and vote on the designs. He's understandably frustrated -- probably a combination of technology-fatigue and having his contribution deemed inessential by her behavior. Becky's not the only one who knows people around here, folks. Well, no one helps the poor bastard print out his design and they choose which ones are going to be represented. He says, lowly, "So much for the friggin' clocks" and Josh asks him to repeat himself. He says that they fucking clocks didn't print out. Then, HELP ME, Josh interviews that people who use dirty language are not intelligent. But, I'm guessing people that find The Village People source material for a relevant, fashion-forward collection are? This shit is seriously writing itself. There's a ghost in the machine. Not touching keyboard.
Josh goes crazy. He "asks" Bert if these are the undertones that people talk about with him on the runway -- the mumbling under his breath. Bert is not trying to fight here. He tries to explain but Josh says that he Will. Not. Have it. Bert continues to try to calm him down and steps toward him and Josh tells him that he needs to back up. BECAUSE BERT IS SOME KIND OF PHYSICAL THREAT, RIGHT? I'm not sure that if I were Bert I'd want people to treat me like this in a competition, but, much like an aversion to dirty talk, which I'm assuming Josh learned from family, I was taught to respect my elders. Now, you don't have to like the man or even really tolerate aggression or whatever from him, but to take that tone with someone for whom you should at least show a little respect because they've been chugging away on this fucking (clearly I've lost the aversion to the cursing) planet significantly longer than you -- I just find it appalling. There's this whole thing in the gay community about the generation gap and how younger gays don't show enough respect for the trailblazing that folks of Bert's generation did for us regarding civil rights and just generally being able to live as tweezed and bronzed assholes out in the open. I'm not sure this Josh jag-off is even smart enough to get it, but he should be ashamed of himself. Like, Anthony a few weeks ago? He clearly was at odds with Bert during their group challenge and he spoke his mind and it even got incredibly heated, but I never felt the complete absence of respect on his part. This just really chaps my lips and I wish Tim Gunn were there to see it. Gretchen don't got NOTHING on the smackdown that needs to happen right here.
Josh is so unreasonable that it's not even a real conversation to put together. Bert seems really perplexed. Becky thinks that Josh has something going on that he's not talking about. He really won't let go of Bert having said the F-word and I just don't recall him ever being so clean in his speech. Didn't he just say goddamn? That's not exactly tea time talk. Bert even tries to say that he's fine with the patterns that they have, but Josh stomps off saying that he's ready to forfeit. Seriously, I feel like there's a whole other show that we're not seeing. Because this doesn't even really fit in the show we're watching. Kimberly thinks that all of this is unnecessary. Let's hear it for the non-totally damaged grown-up on this year's season! Bert finds the drama amateurish and beneath him. Laura follows Josh to talk about what's up. Becky susses out that it may be about the recent death of Josh's mother. Josh tells Laura that he wants to work on the video with her and the other can go to Mood. I just really hate him, y'all. I'm sure he's got some grief stirring, but he's so much drama. Laura says that she can handle Josh and is fine working with him.
Back in the workroom, Laura tells the others what she wants from Mood. Bert is glad to be going to Mood with Becky and Kimberly. Laura is still not excited about clocks. Team Chaos is having a great time. They talk about things that they want to capture for their video and Bryce jokes that they should just film Viktor booty-shaking. Viktor demonstrates. Fun! Somebody's having fun! Becky longingly admires Team Chaos' team spirit.
Viktor and Bryce go out and shoot a bunch of chaotic New York moments in Times Square. Meanwhile, the others are at Mood. Everything seems to be going smoothly. Josh decides that their video is going to be about a girl wearing a lot of shoes. Laura is the girl, though Josh is sure to direct her as to how to be the proper woman. He's so tired. Laura and Josh finally decide to shoot a few clocks. Back at the workroom, the Team Chaos video is clearly more inspiring. Anya suggests a kaleidoscopic split-screen for the video that everyone seems to like.
Everyone starts working on their designs when Josh stops the room to make an announcement, which Bert regards as typical of his behavior. He apologizes for his earlier outburst and they hug it out. Bert wishes that he'd come to him privately and figures that he's backtracking in preparation for his future appearance on the runway.
The day, the textiles arrive. Everyone seems excited. Kimberly says that she and Laura are the bolts, everyone else on her team is nuts. Right now, it looks like everything is moving pretty smoothly with the designs. Kimberly doesn't want to use any of the textiles, because she thinks they're ugly.
Anya and Laura talk over a meal. Anya eats? I guess nobody's perfect. Laura says that Becky's look is boring. She takes issue with Becky calling herself rock-a-billy, when she thinks she's more "Judy Jetson with a vacuum cleaner." I think she means Jane Jetson. Judy really didn't do a lot of chores. And, anyway, there were mostly robots and stuff to do that, except for the things that Jane did because she's a woman and, even in a crazy technologically advanced age, needs to be chained to her house. A prisoner. Laura calls out to Becky that she thinks that Becky's skirt with the number print is boring, so Becky says that she can make a skirt out of all of the prints and they'll decide which is best. She interviews that it's suspicious that Laura is talking about her to Anya, instead of her.
Tim comes in and feels the positive energy from Team Chaos. Laura says that she agrees with Tim and likes their prints better than her own team's. Nuts & Bolts presents to Tim and he says that he doesn't like Laura's jumpsuit. He questions why Bert didn't make a princess seam for his dress. He doesn't like Becky's original skirt. He thinks that Kimberly's fabric for her skirt looks like faux poodle. Josh hasn't even designed a top for his look and Viktor overhears and displays a look of horror. Tim asks him where his girl is going and he says that the doesn't like the idea that you have to think of where the girl is going. I mean, that's not completely unreasonable, what he's saying, but that's the name of the game. Get over it. Tim tells him to drop his ego and work as a team, because they are not showing any sort of "wow" moment at the present time. Tim asks them to join hands. There's a "wow" moment. Tim just called the Big Guy in to the workroom.
Later, Josh says to Laura that he hasn't had a critique from Tim that went that poorly. Then, he tearfully says in an interview that he works very hard at what he does and getting a bad critique is hurtful. He says that he comes from a humble family and doesn't get to visit home a lot. He wants all of the moments he has missed with his family to matter one day. I totally get that, but it doesn't mean you are the only one going through that. And, being able to follow your dream is a blessing, not a punishment (not actually sure about that, but I'm saying it -- eek! Get back to me). He calls his dad and says that he misses his mom. Her birthday just passed. He really starts sobbing in an interview and says that he didn't get to make it back from New York to see his dying mother. That's fucking rough. He just wants it to be worth it. I feel horrible for him, but stuff like that should make you a better person, not more of a nightmare.
The models come in for a fitting. Josh still doesn't have a top. He interviews that he felt ugly when he freaked out at Bert. He's really complimentary to Bert about his design and Bert seems to appreciate the attempts at teamwork. Anya is not crazy about Bryce's look. Anthony is worried that Olivier is spending too much time on his jacket.
Later, at the Atlas Building, the girls discuss that their team has come back together. We'll see how long that lasts. The day, they're all back at work. Josh tells Laura that he doesn't even know how to feel. He's wearing the most ridiculous shirt that I have ever seen. Anthony is still worried about Olivier. Hair and make-up! Still no fighting. Even up to Tim leading the designers out of the workroom and to the runway, everyone seems remarkably placid. I'm terrified. Josh reveals that his shirt is designed to distract, in case things don't go well.
On the runway, Heidi introduces the judges, including guests Rachel Roy and Rose Byrne. No, I do not know why they're doing this together. Those ladies are seriously good-looking. The show begins with Team Nuts & Bolts. Bleh. That name doesn't get any less stupid the more you write it. The first look is Josh's. It's a pair of slacks in one of their textiles. They are black and white with some sort of writing on them that I can't really make out. Above is a midnight blue camisole under a short black and white jacket. The lapels are like cogs that fit into the other side of the jacket. The back meets in the same way and there are vents underneath which you can see more of the fabric with the writing. This isn't horrible, but it feels dissonant. Josh says that he's happy with his execution of the blazer.
is Becky's look. She made a short skirt in the same material that Josh used. On top is a chartreuse camisole and a short black blazer. Also dissonant. Boring too. Becky is worried about the top.
Bert's dress is . It's pretty cute. A one-shouldered dress in the cog fabric that Becky designed. The dress is a tiny bit shorter than tea length and the model is wearing ankle boots, which is a problem. Anya whispers that the length is horrible, but I think it's the styling that's really suffering here.
Kimberly's look is and it's a short skirt with some cloud-like volume, in a black and silver fabric. On top is a chartreuse blouse. It's really cute, though Kimberly is worried about the skirt being too short. There's a blue belt that has some of the cog action going on. They're achieving some sort of cohesion in this collection, but the agent is BOREDOM.
Laura's jumpsuit is . It's not great. She made a belt with the textile design with the writing on it. Bleh. It's just not modern and not pretty. Their projection had some clock action as well as Laura running around in shoes.
Team Chaos begins with Anya's piece. It's a short dress in an ink-blotted fabric, with short black sleeves. There's a thin black belt at the waist. It looks good. The back has a cut-out that has a squareness to it. Their projection is really... chaotic. In fact, it serves to make you focus on the clothes more.
Bryce's look is and it's a slouchy red top with a pair of short shorts in another blotty fabric. Anthony's look follows and it's adorable. It's a white skirt with a little bit of a bubble to it and some black spots at the bottom. It's topped by a short-sleeved blouse in some of their signature textile, with a little red bow at the neck. He's super proud of his look. Olivier's look is and you can see all of his tailoring. It's this jacket with a plunging neckline. Beautiful. Paired with pants in one of the textiles. He's incredibly proud of it, as he should be. Viktor is and he made an evening gown. There is blotting on the bodice. It is skin tight and beautiful. He can't believe he made it.
Afterwards, Heidi tells Team Chaos that they are the... who are we kidding? No suspense here. Team Chaos won this shit. Backstage, Team N&B sits silently. Kimberly asks Josh why he's being so quiet, suddenly, for once. Becky says that he wants her and Bert to go home so he can "have his fun" with everyone. That was stupid. Bad attempt at confrontation. Josh says that this is not about fun, it's about creating a product that people will want. He thinks he can do that and he doesn't think Becky can.
Onstage, the judges are loving all of it. Michael thinks that Olivier made the best-tailored piece in the history of the show. Heidi thinks it's one of the best runway shows that the show has ever seen. Heidi asks each of them who they think should be the winner and they all choose themselves, except for Bryce who chooses Anya.
Team N&B is on the grill. Kimberly tries her damnedest to sell this theme, but she's not a superhero. So, the fabric with the writing that everyone is wearing says "cancelled" and "delayed" and Rachel thinks that's bad energy and something people wouldn't want to wear. They hated Josh's shoe idea in the video. Michael thinks that their styling is cohesive. Rose thought that the looks weren't attractive. Becky explains that she made her skirt three times. Michael hates everything but the jacket in Becky's outfit. He likes the cut of Bert's dress though. Bert explains that Josh was a nightmare, though he says that Josh apologized. Heidi remembers that Josh also fought with Becky. Becky agrees. Josh says that his design was still good, but Nina says that all of the prints are bad. Heidi asks who should go home. Laura says Bert. Bert and Becky say Josh. Josh and Kimberly say Becky.
The judges confer and the designers return to the stage. Anya wins the challenge! She's thrilled that she got to use all of her skills as a designer, finally. Laura is in. Kimberly is in. Bert is in. Down to the two. God, Josh's shirt is really horrible. Heidi says that Becky has to make her own choices in the real world. And, she's... out. She interviews that she thinks she's a good designer, though she maybe be more commercial than the others. This show made her realize how many designers are out there and, sometimes, people are better than you. Wow, that's a hard pill to swallow. She tells all of the other designers that she wishes them the best of luck, though it doesn't really look like Josh is part of the group she is talking to. Tim comes in and says that this is all getting emotional. She interviews that she didn't get to do what she set out to do, because she came here to win. I like Becky. I hope she finds her niche. She says she needs a vacation.
Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com or followed on Twitter at @jblong.