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This episode starts out so beautifully. The designers wake up and there are little stacks of sports gear for each of them, with their names on them. Bert is standing right in front of them and can't see them. So, there's this moment where Anthony, from his bed is like, "Hey, Bert, see those boxes?" And Bert can't! And they both get so frustrated and it's amazing and Anthony is kind of adorable and Bert is the Ghost of Jeff's Future warning me to maybe chill the hell out.
Cecilia is angry that she wasn't sent home, instead of Julie. She probably should have expressed that. Heidi explains that they will be working in groups of three. Anthony and Viktor both explain that they don't want to work with Bert. Bert doesn't want to work with any of them. They decide team captains with a race and, damn, Cecilia is having none of it. Frankly, she has never been so interesting and she's been fairly interesting the entire season. Well, she's not having it. She drops out of the competition right there. Everybody thinks she's crazy and Heidi kind of gets in her face, which is frightening, but she persists. She's gone. Then, they start running and Olivier totally face plants. The team leaders end up being Josh, Bryce, Anthony and Viktor. A medic helps Olivier with his boo-boo knee and it's a good thing, because he's also there to assist when Olivier passes the fuck out. He recovers quickly and says it was a panic attack.
So, they choose teams and Bert is on Anthony's team, because he is the last chosen. Viktor gets to choose any of the eliminated designers because Cecilia just left and the competition is still in the early stages. Everyone whispers, "JOSH C." to them and Viktor's like, "Let me think for myself!" Then, he chooses Josh C.! Yay! The challenge is to create three looks to go with Heidi's New Balance sneakers. She says "basic with a twist" which kind of describes everything that's not basic, right? Also, they have to use denim or suede. The winning look will be sold along with Heidi's shoes.
Tim says, "Caucus!" It has been ages. Becky and Bert both feel like rejects inside of their groups. Josh C. returns and everyone is super thrilled, which is lovely to see. Josh M. is a complete asshole to Becky and treats her like she's some sort of slave seamstress. Bert loses me. He lets his hurt feelings get the best of him and really acts immaturely. I get the hurt, but come on. Heidi comes in for consultations and tells Olivier that she thinks his long skirt is too quaint and he interviews that he thinks he can prove her wrong. Also, Heidi gives them an extra seven hours to work on their looks!
OK, Josh M. is a total dick and cruelly insults Becky's design aesthetic to her face, without any real provocation. It seriously upsets Becky and sends her to the bathroom in tears and Josh M. apologizes, but I think the damage is done. She thinks, because of the weird cliquey qualities of this season's designers, that everyone else thinks she's not cool, like Josh M. expressed. Bert and Josh M. get into a shouting match over a sewing machine and a future year of my life fell asleep and died.
Erin Wasson, erstwhile supermodel and apparent designer, is the guest judge. Viktor's team does a kick-ass job and Olivier keeps that damn skirt. I think it looks pretty cool. Bryce's team doesn't really suck either. Anthony's team is a disaster. Josh M.'s team is kind of meh. Heidi says that there were looks inside of each team that were good and bad, so there won't be a winning and losing team. Anthony and Laura get slammed for their looks and Bert is openly happy. Josh M. and Becky also go at it, but the judges at least feel they had a cohesive collection. They still don't like Olivier's skirt. They don't like neither Danielle's top nor Kimberly's shorts. Michael thinks that Bert and Anthony had the roughest group dynamic in the show's history. The judges really go at it -- Heidi is anti-Anthony while Nina and Michael want to boot Danielle.
Before elimination, Heidi tells Viktor and Josh M. that they are the winners of the challenge. Their designs will be sold online. Danielle and Anthony are the bottom two. Heidi says it was split decision. Anthony is crying as she tells him that he is...in. She also says that, if the decision had been hers alone, he would have gone home. Danielle is out.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The designers had to create a look for Nina. God chose a scowl and Bryce chose a cowl. Nina scowls at cowls. Bert and Viktor had a really hard time working together on a challenge. Viktor says that Bert is very stubborn. Kimberly won the challenge! Cecilia and Julie ended up in the bottom and Julie was sent home.
It's morning in New York City. At the Atlas Building, the designers are still tucked away in their beds. We see that people have broken into their apartments during the night and placed little piles of clothing about with name placards on top. First of all, I hadn't really considered that part of the program. People just coming in and out of your living space as they please. No privacy is one thing. Having strangers walk around while you're trying to sleep? I mean, I'm borderline narcoleptic and probably wouldn't have much of a zzzzz. See, I did it just there. But I can imagine other people feeling a little vulnerable and uncomfortable. B of all, no wonder they're tired. It's probably never quiet and they have to sleep with one eye open lest Chet the sound guy gets a little handsy.
Bert is the first up and making coffee. Anthony sees the piles of clothing from his bed and asks Bert what they are. He doesn't see them. They're right in front of them. Well, he sees the piles of clothing but not the name placards. Damn. Anthony's all "one, two, three, four" piles of clothing, fucking Bert! These guys don't know how to communicate with each other. There are running clothes and shoes, so Anthony deduces that this will be an athletic wear challenge.
Becky tries to rouse Cecilia with thrill of new workout clothes but she's not having it. Bryce is not excited when he sees the clothes. Becky reads to Cecilia a note that was left for them. It's from Heidi. They have to wear their new clothes and meet her and Tim and some track center up in Washington Heights. Laura doesn't like her blue shorts. Anya takes them instead which makes me love her even more than I already did. I'd have been all over those blue shorts. Workout clothes should not be austere. They should be in colors that elevate your mood enough that you don't try jumping out a window because working out sucks so much. Unless you're one of those people who just loves to work out, in which case, wear burlap, I don't care. You stink.
Cecilia is still in bed. She interviews that she was angry when she woke up. She feels that the judges should have sent her home instead of Julie, because she doesn't want to be there. Cecilia says that she's not wearing the new clothes and poor Becky is super fucking confused.
In the other girl apartment, Kimberly ponders what the challenge could be. Maybe designing for people who need to lose weight? Weird. She interviews that she is not resting on her immunity. She wants to make something good. Danielle interviews that she was surprised to be in the bottom three during the last challenge. Cecilia finally gets into her gear, however grumpily, and they all make their way to this track place.
Heidi and Tim greet the approaching designers. Josh interviews that he hopes it is a running challenge, because he will just WAIL on those other designers. I can't figure out if he's joking half of the time. Is this really him? We'll be getting to the eyebrows soon. It's still forming. The mannequins are like, "Just...a...little more...and we'll be able to...turn around."
Tim tells the designers that they will be working in teams of three for this challenge. Anthony interviews that, whatever happens, he doesn't want Bert. For his part, Bert is not happy about another team challenge either. He feels that he doesn't relate to any of the designers on multiple levels. Like, he doesn't understand you up there and he doesn't understand you down there. Lots of different places, he doesn't relate to you. Viktor says that he wants to win the opportunity to choose his teammates, at which time he will not be picking Bert. To decide the team leaders, they are going to run 200 meters. The top four runners will be the leaders and will choose their teams. Cecilia is not happy. She interviews that she doesn't want to be there.
Cecilia interviews that she feels it's unfair to her colleagues for her to be there and decides to speak with Tim. Anya says that when she saw them talking, she knew something was up. Tim tells Heidi that Cecilia is thinking of not continuing in the competition. Heidi gets really German on her and it's very punishing. She's all, do you just not want to run? Cecilia says that she's not worried about the challenges. Heidi says that everyone in the competition sees this as a great opportunity and if she doesn't and thinks it's too hard, she can leave, but she has to decide right then. Heidi, remind me to never come to you to talk through any shit. Jesus. She's a sledgehammer. Cecilia is going home. She tells the designers that they're all winners and she wishes them luck. Anthony can't understand how she could work so hard to get there then just give up, but Cecilia interviews that she took a long time to become the woman that she wanted to be and she's not changing that for anyone. Sounds an awful lot like she just chose her dignity over whatever she could get from this show and I really admire that. I doubt I'd make the same choice and would instead choose to really REALLY go down in flames, but I can respect her position. She tried it and she didn't like it. Move on. Becky says that, if it's true that Cecilia feels the way that she says she does, it's good that she's gone.
Well, GOOD MORNING, designers! Laura looks freaked out right now. Heidi does not care. It's time to run. And, they're off. Josh is the leader from the beginning. Tim is impressed with how quickly Danielle is running. Then, Olivier flies onto his face. Like, the face plant of face plants. This is on film forever. Maybe he'll share a cab to the airport with Cecilia? Danielle feels bad for him, because he could have been a team leader...had he not flown through the air legs akimbo and landed on his face. Josh passes the finish line first. He interviews that he chose to win the race because he knows he can do an amazing job as team leader. Like that -- I mean, is he totally serious? Joking at least a little? Bryce is . Anthony, probably due to the fact that he is running with a lack of excess baggage, is third. Viktor is fourth. Girls are slow. Viktor says that he never runs, unless someone is chasing him with a gun. Oh, Viktor? That's you? Um, long time, no...see. Heidi makes fun of Bert being so old and fat and unable to run. She runs his last few meters with him, in high heels, in order to further shame him for having lived so long. The designers applaud him when he crosses the finish line.
Olivier is getting attention from a medic. He's a really good sport about it. Tim says that they're dropping like flies on Project Runway and Heidi is BORED. She perks up a bit when Tim points out that Olivier, with the medic still attending to his knee, passes out. Shit's getting real. Commercials!
When we return, Olivier is still sprawled on the track. He interviews from beyond the grave that he felt dizzy and short of breath and he couldn't feel his arms and legs. He says he was having a panic attack. Bryce says that he felt bad for Olivier and I'm beginning to notice a trend. Something was weird about when Danielle said she felt bad for Olivier and Bryce is identical and you know what's happening? They're TRYING NOT TO LAUGH. Shameful. Heidi doesn't have time to waste though. She asks Olivier if he'll be able to join them and he drags himself to his feet. He's still in the game. Heidi congratulates the winners and Bert says that he doesn't want to be on Viktor's team, because of their last experience together. He also doesn't want to work with Josh because he finds him far too full of himself. He's not wrong. But, still, Bert how have you made it this far? Without just imploding or something. You CANNOT be this sensitive. Also, can we TALK about Anya's legs for a moment!? Tell me I'm not the only one who is falling more in love with her every time she floats across the screen. She is my Miss Universe and damn the judges who didn't make it official. Who were they? In 2008, her year to compete, they included Donald Trump, Jr., Nadine Velazquez and Roberto Cavalli. She'll show Cavalli, I'm frankly disappointed in Nadine and I wouldn't expect anything different from a Trump.
Josh chooses first and goes with Anya. Bryce chooses Kimberly. She does a moderately effective grounded Herkie and Heidi acts like she's a freaking daredevil. Anthony chooses Laura. Those two are a great team. She's thrilled. Viktor chooses Olivier because he says he's an "Olivier Fan." Olivier says that he would have liked to have been a team captain but instead has to "feel like a bitch." His Columbus is coming out. That talk don't fly in Milan.
Bert says to Becky and Danielle that this feels like volleyball in junior high -- the last to be chosen. Danielle is pretending that she doesn't hear him. Josh chooses Becky. Bryce chooses Danielle. Which means that Anthony gets Bert. Nobody's happy. Anthony notes that Bert is stubborn and childish. You know, I think he has some reason to have hurt feelings, but this is not an unfair assessment. Viktor was a bit of a dick to Bert though, and Anthony is a pretty nice guy (Southern boys unite!), so this could all be fine. Anthony says it could be a complete disaster. Heidi explains to Viktor that, since it's early in the competition and Cecilia dropped out, he can choose anyone who has been eliminated up to this point. Choose Cecilia! Wait. That person will be in the competition again. Everyone starts saying Josh C. (ugh, this means I'm going to have to put C.'s and M.'s behind all the damn Joshes again. Why?) and Viktor's all "Shhhhhhh!" Then, he chooses Josh C. I'm kind of excited about that. Viktor says that Josh C. still wants to learn new things, so he thinks he deserves a second chance. Heidi says that he will be back later in the day.
Then, Heidi tells us about how she's a big bad designer for some New Balance now. Their challenge will be for each team to create three looks for Heidi's New Balance sneakers. She says that it doesn't have to just be work-out clothes. It can be a dress. Or a suit? They should think "basic with a twist." Also, they have to use materials that are used in her sneakers -- denim and suede. Ew. Is this the Reba challenge? Not that I wouldn't love that, but this is a no. The winning look will be manufactured and sold exclusively on Amazon.com, everyone's first stop for fashion. It will be part of Heidi's New Balance line. I'm impressed again with how hard a business fashion is when I see how excited everyone gets. Designing some pretty clothes is one thing -- getting them made and available to the public is maybe the hardest part. Anya reminds us that they're all here to make something that sells and having that opportunity now is almost impossible for her to wrap her head around.
Tim gives them 30 minutes to caucus. Music to my ears. You know, it's been quite a while since Tim has mentioned caucusing. Too long. Now it's time to get our caucus on. Let's hope everyone is safe. Becky interviews that she is very excited because she has designed looks that "go with this." I don't know if she just means sneakers or Heidi Klum's actual line, but I guess they both mean essentially the same thing. She explains to Josh M. that it's knitwear that bridges the gap between fashion and sportswear. OK. She proposes an off-the-shoulder dress that could be worn with leggings. Josh pounces. Absolutely no leggings. Leggings are over. Then, she proposes a strap on a dress that mimics an "N" for New Balance. Strike Two. Josh interviews that he chose Becky because of her energy and sewing skills, however, he doesn't think of her as some sort of "style icon." This one. He just really goes for the nasty place whenever he can. I still wonder if this is all a joke and he's really like a stagehand from Toledo or something and has been putting together this performance from years of watching costumers from touring shows of Oklahoma! and Wicked roll through town. Then, Becky proposes ruching on the sides of a dress and Josh shuts her down again. Anya, my angel, interviews that it must not feel very good to have both of your teammates reject your ideas. Quickly: This is why Anya is doing so well and my new pick for at least fourth place (granted, experience says that means she'll get kicked off week). She's ingratiating and empathetic without being manipulative -- so everyone is going to help her. I'm sure, at some point, someone's going to refuse to do something for her, but I bet someone else will step in or she'll just find another way of getting her job done. Also, she's cool as a cucumber. People who know how to sew better than her (i.e. Bryce) are getting in their own way with nerves, while Anya's just chugging along with her four months of sewing experience. She's a new type on this show and I'm LOVING it.
Viktor and Olivier agree that they want to try casual but chic. Olivier proposes a long skirt and Viktor is worried about that being active wear. Olivier reminds him that Heidi told them that it could be a suit. "Think fashion! Think fashion!" That's the most excited he has ever gotten and I'm worried about him fainting again. He maintains consciousness. For now.
Bryce describes this cowl-necked hoodie that could be used as a dress as well? I'm confused, but I watched it four times and I'm clearly not going to understand it any better. He interviews that he wants to be a leader and show good ideas. Danielle is going to make a jacket and Kimberly will make a dress.
Anthony and Laura are sitting hip to hip, while Bert is off to the side. Bert proposes a dress and Laura doesn't seem to dig it. He proposes another dress and says it could be worn with pantyhose and Laura nixes that, because of the shoe. So, Bert is done. He says that they are working as a team and he's a tag-on. We've all been in a situation where other people in a group connect more than we do to them. GET OVER IT. Let's think big picture here, Bert.
It's time for everyone to get into their street clothes before heading for Mood. Once there, shopping commences. Josh M. tells Becky that he doesn't want to get too sporty with the fabric. She interviews that Josh is the team leader and she will do what she can, even though her ideas keep getting vetoed. See, that's a better attitude. He's not buying your muffins. Who cares? Someone else will. Josh ends up choosing fabrics with Anya. Becky isn't even there. You know, he's the leader and that's ultimately fine, but I get the sense that he's going out of his way to be a little brutal to Becky. There are ways to do this stuff without hurting anyone's feelings. He's either behaving this way for the cameras or he's just a dick. Viktor feels that it's an advantage that it's just him and Olivier at this point. Laura and Anthony find a fabric that they like and Bert is not into it. But, they at least made him a part of the selection. He pouts about how he's being forced to work with this fabric. This close to being so completely over him. Tim barks about time running out and says sadly, to no one in particular, "I'm such a nag." We never found love for Tim Gunn, did we?
At the workroom, Tim reminds the designers that they have to use denim and suede in their looks, though it doesn't have to dominate them. Then, he tells them that they have until 11 PM to work, though it's already almost 3:30 PM. Kimberly asks what's wrong with midnight. Tim just replies that they should have fun with this. "It's Heidi's challenge!" I'm not sure if that means it should be fun or if he's saying they should be like, "Fuck it, it's Heidi's challenge."
The groups begin to work and right off the bat, Josh M. is breathing down Becky's neck about how there will be no ruching. She's just thinking, Joan. Sorry, he's completely Mommie Dearest with the no ruching and the eyebrows. Bryce and Danielle are looking over her design and he offers some advice, adding that he just wants her to be successful. He interviews that he and Danielle really want to make it far in the competition. They're frustrated about being the underdogs and I think it's so interesting how that happens. It's like a metaphor for what happens to people in schools when they're perceived as troublemakers or something, so they eventually start fulfilling the perception. I feel like, especially with Danielle, she came into the competition with a lot of promise and stumbled a little bit and now she's thought of as a fuck-up and she's really not that. But, I'm not sure that she will be able to overcome that perception. She too is worried about what she and Bryce will be able to present.
Then, Tim brings Josh C. back! This is so exciting! He's completely ecstatic and smiling and laughing. It's so sweet. He says that every day that he has been gone he has thought that he would move heaven and earth to be back in the competition, huh, and all he needed to do was make Cecilia lose her mind. Laura says that Josh C. is a really good person and deserves this rare second chance. This is fun. I'm glad for him. After quick hugs, everybody gets back to work.
Without Becky's input, Josh M. and Anya discuss making her romper a maxi dress. Her feelings are hurt. That said, Anya's got some style. She describes a maxi dress and sneakers as the ultimate I'm-going-to-the-market-but-I-still-look-hot look. Becky tries to speak up and volunteer to make a bag, but Josh M. just shushes her and sends her back to the basement. Seriously, this guy's a prick. He interviews that he needs her to be sewing and finishing his garments, not having ideas.
Kimberly has made this sheath-like item that Bryce says looks like a lambskin condom. He is not incorrect. Viktor, who I think looks pretty adorable in his striped tee, red shorts and boat shoes, tells Olivier that his long skirt is going to be a problem with the judges. They're going to say Amish. He just knows they're going to say Amish. I mean, that's what they usually say about long skirts. That or some prairie bullshit. Josh C. says that Viktor is doing an awesome job as team captain.
Then, there's Bert. Anthony says that a team leader has to keep the peace and it's hard to do that with Bert. We see Laura ask him what he thinks about his design and he just says that he doesn't like it very much. He's just being shitty. Then, we see him cursing under his breath while he's at a dress form. Something about blankety-blank hardball blank. I don't know. I think we've got a dry drunk on our hands. The rage in this guy. I mean, he fell off the face of the earth decades ago, so he can't feel super-entitled, can he? I mean, he knows how fleeting success is. So, it just sounds like he's this crazy rageball to me. Then, he asks Laura a question about "Andy" when he's talking about Anthony. He interviews that he only learns a few names because he doesn't find the other designers important. Also known as early onset dementia, but I respect the attempt at saving face. This guy should know better and I'm officially off his team. I don't think he really threw the first punches in this whole World vs. Bert match, but I definitely feel he has done the most to make it horrible and hurtful.
Anya tells Becky that she has never sewn jersey before, so she'll be sewing the jersey. She interviews that she feels like an intern who is there to sew. Um, you are NOT far off with that. Josh M., who is really starting to offend me, says that, if Becky's not getting the picture he'll have to paint it for her. She'll be his bitch for this challenge and for the challenge, she can go back to doing what she does, not what he and Anya do. It's that little bit of anger that he's showing that bothers me the most. As if he can't understand how a designer would be unhappy being treated like a tool. You can't tell me he wouldn't have a problem if the same thing were happening to him.
Heidi comes in for a consultation. Josh C. calls her the Queen of Doom and says that she's ruthless. Bryce says that she's the toughest judge when you're on the runway. He presents to Heidi his cowl-hoodie and she doesn't think it's cool or fashion-forward. Or, she questions whether it is and he takes that as a poo-poo. Heidi also doesn't like the boxiness of Kimberly's dress. Bryce feels screwed. Laura says that Bryce is a sunken ship and it's time for him to go home. She likes him a lot as a person though! She thinks he should have hung back in the race and let someone direct him. She's not wrong about that last part.
Heidi welcomes Josh C. back to the competition and he seems terrified. She makes fun of Olivier's skirt calling it "farm-y." She tries it on and Viktor tells her that it actually looks pretty cute with her jacket. Then, like a complete asshole, she says that they don't HAVE her jacket. As if everyone is going to dress head-to-toe in Heidi New Balance?!! Dumb. The skirt is cute, get over it. Tim thinks that it doesn't work with the leather jacket that Viktor is making, which may have some element of truth ("Auntie Em is not going to be getting on a motorcycle"), but I think they're missing something. There is something on trend and pretty chic about that long skirt. Stuff like that is happening or maybe is about to happen. Olivier -- and I really admire this -- says that he thinks he can prove her wrong regarding the skirt. Hmm. That's really interesting.
The consultation with Anthony's group is a mess. All of Heidi's questions are meant to instill fear and maybe that's a good thing, I don't know. I feel more like she just confuses people. Anthony tries to describe this jumper that he's making and, by the end, it sounds like he's making a salad. Bert's dress is to fancy. She asks some veiled question about the neckline on Laura's garment that makes it sound like she hates it.
Josh M. sort of get his ass handed to him by Heidi. She points out that he keeps on making dresses that have to panels on the side. Then, she looks at the dress with the sexy racer back and accurately identifies it as Anya's aesthetic. Heidi asks Becky what she's doing and she says that she has sewed and patterned. Is that all she's doing? "So far." Josh shoots her some side eye, but bitch ain't lying. Tim warns her that, if her role in the group is trivialized enough, she could be, how does he say it? -- thrown under the bus. Why, Tim? I expected more from you. Anyway, Becky says that she hadn't considered that as a possible outcome.
As Heidi is leaving, she notes that there are only two more hours left in their work day. She says that she's worried, so...she's giving them until 4am to work! Everyone is thrilled! Anthony says that Heidi is really messing with them.
On Team No Wire Hangers, Anya says that Josh's dress, the one that Heidi has already seen for weeks, would make a great mini-skirt. Becky suggests that Anya help her design a top for the dress and Josh, probably because he's embarrassed that he just got called out for repeating himself, tells Becky that she designs dowdy dresses. Wow. You don't say that sort of shit in front of their colleagues. She's outta there. Josh says to Anya that Becky's demographic is "40 to death." And yours is Herpes to Chlamydia. Anya just tells him to fix it and I think that Josh thinks she's talking about the dress. She's talking about the team.
Josh and Anya follow Becky into the sewing room where she's slaving over a machine. This kid, he tells her that it wasn't meant as a bad thing. What a moron. She replies, "How is dowdy a good word, in any situation?" I mean, really. He replies, "Style-wise!" with a stupid smile in his voice and acting like he's some sort of idiot. Anya, sensing that this isn't going well, tries to gently mediate, but Becky is now pissed. She tells Josh that he asked her to make a princess-seam dress, which is what she did. So, he can't blame her for the dress being dumpy or not cool. Well...Still though, what an asshole. He tells her, in front of the whole room, that he's not going to have drama with her and she can cry or whatever she needs to do because he's not going to console her like a baby because she's a grown woman. No, what's expected is a fucking apology, beef jerky. Anya tells Becky to breathe and stop sewing, which she does because she's in tears. Sometimes, when people cry, I think that we think that they're babies or something. Sometimes though, it's because they are not people who get treated like shit a lot, because they really don't deserve it (not that anyone does). They're crying from the shock of having some little twerp with maybe the most ridiculous eyebrows on basic cable attack them with an actual deep-seated vitriol. I mean, seriously, boring though she may be, Becky doesn't strike me as the kind of girl who walks around asking for this sort of response from people. Quite the contrary, actually. Josh isn't done. He tells her to take a nap if she needs to and he'll do the sewing himself. God help the poor soul who finds himself hitched to this guy. Can you imagine if you ever got sick? "I don't feel like getting Gatorade for you right now! Just drink the Emergen-C!" Becky goes to the bathroom and sobs. Some camera guy follows her into a stall and she says, "Oh God!" and slams it shut.
Anya comes into the bathroom and asks Becky if she can talk to her or if she would prefer that she leave. I mean, come on! Is she perfect or what? Honestly, I feel like she's really making a case for the pageant world and the skills that you maybe learn there. Confidence and empathy are a difficult combination to obtain and I can see how the Miss Universe world could teach you both of those things. Is that crazy? Josh enters and says that he did not mean for his statements to come off the way they did. Sometimes his mouth is going before his head registers what it is saying. Becky just sort of nods. She interviews that there is a lot of cliquey behavior amongst the designers and she has been made to feel as if everyone thinks that she's not fresh and edgy enough. She hasn't had a voice in this challenge and she's frustrated by that. Becky is recovering and Anya gives her a hug. Josh decides that it will be a group hug and he has to comment on how gross girly part cleaning items are, as he's standing in a fucking ladies' room. He interviews that he means his apology and hopes that Becky accepts it...but now it's time to sew. I do seriously think that he's a pretty shitty person.
It's time for a model-fitting! Olivier loves his long skirt when his model is wearing it. Bert shows his look and Laura is worried that the skirt is a problem. He's not having any of it. Anthony says that, if there's a problem on the runway and Bert's look is in question, he won't be "throwing him under the bus" if he mentions that he didn't like Bert's look to begin with. Bert interviews that he's not going to make something contrived and Midwest like Laura and Anthony. Laura tells Anthony that she can't go home over this challenge and he says that Bert is the one who is going home if shit goes wrong.
Everybody starts sewing like mad. Danielle says that the extra time is kind of a curse because it raises expectations. Josh M. decides that they will add a vertical red strip to the front of the maxi-dress. Everybody is exhausted, but they make it to the end of the day.
The day, they're up and at 'em. Anthony says that he doesn't feel well and is running a fever. That makes me a little nervous. Right? He thinks the design of his look is a mess. Kimberly is contemplating making a new suede skirt on the fly. Tim comes in and starts the two-hour countdown to the runway.
The fittings begin. And, ah, this thing happens. Bert is on a sewing machine and Josh M. asks him if he's going to be on it for long. He says that he did not see Josh M.'s name on that particular machine. Problem solved! No. Josh picks up something that was at that station -- his own thread or something -- and walks away saying that Bert has no courtesy. Bert's barking back about how Josh thinks everything is about him. Neither are wrong, both are jerks. Bert tells him to drop dead and Josh replies that Bert is closer to death than he is. Bert finishes by saying that death might be a relief with Josh around. Just pure tension. This has to be really punishing for everyone to witness. Bert interviews that he believes Josh tries to intimidate people with his brashness, but he is not intimidated. In fact, he's embarrassed for Josh. He calls him a "self-centered prick" under his breath.
So, hair and makeup happens. I'd like to talk a little more about that hot daddy who's running the makeup room these days. I don't know how any of these people can get a thought out with him around. Muy Caliente! El Toro Loco! I don't know Spanish. Bert really doesn't like having to learn anything. The poor hair guy is suggesting that Bert wants texture on his girl's head and he really abruptly demands, "When you say texture, what do you mean?" It's not like he's slapping people or anything but he's clearly really uncomfortable not knowing stuff.
Tim starts calling everyone to the runway. He comments on Viktor's jacket, saying it's very cute. Laura is sewing until the last minute. She feels like her fate is out of her hands. It always sort of is. Learn that now.
And, here we are on the runway. Heidi comes onstage to greet the designers. She's wearing this strapless, sparkly jumpsuit and...sneakers, I believe? I can't really see them but she sort of gestures to them at one point. Anyway, she welcomes Josh C. back to the runway. He says that he's thrilled to be there. Heidi then introduces the judges, including Erin Wasson, who I know as a model but apparently is also a designer now. Aren't we all? And, the show begins.
First up is Team Viktor and leading is Viktor's look. It's a short gray dress that's crinkly and cinched at the waist. It's really cute and I could actually see someone rocking the heck out of that with some sneakers. It's topped with this three-quarter sleeved motorcycle jacket that looks super expensive. Viktor is very happy with it. Anya whispers to Becky that the jacket is crazy and Becky agrees that it's awesome. up is Josh's look. It's pencil slacks with an off-center v-neck t-shirt. He has added these straps to the shoulder that give it a sort of Matrix look, though surprisingly comfortable. Altogether a nice showing for his return to the competition! Olivier presents his long skirt with a sleeveless top and I don't think it looks bad. Though there's no color anywhere, this is a cohesive collection and all the pieces belong together and on a very Chekovian and severe woman.
Here's Team Bryce. Bryce's look is first and he made this sleek little minidress with a boat neck and no sleeves. He says it's his favorite of his team. is a pair of shorts and a tank with a neat little jacket on top. The jacket is the only thing that remained after Heidi's consultation. Then, Danielle's look is a green chiffon Henley over a high-waisted skirt. Not really cool at all. However, she notes that she contributed a lot to her team as a whole.
Oh my God. Anthony's look is and it is a disaster! It's a satin romper and it seriously looks like she was just wrapped in a sheet. I can't even really see a single design element good or bad save for this patch of gray on her shoulder. This is bad news. What happened? He feels like he didn't stick with his gut. How fucking quiet your gut must have been to let you turn away from it and make THAT. Laura made a bland skirt and top with this sleeveless vest over it. The vest is cool, but the rest is blah and she knows it. I'm still not exactly sure where they fucked this all up. I think they let the consultation with Heidi influence them too much. Bert made an off-the-shoulder shirt and top that seems completely wrong with sneakers. That said, it's well made, which is not really something you can say about the other garments in his team. He thinks it looks amazingly fresh and young and that's just stupid. Other than the length of the skirt, this is totes mother of the bride. Somebody whispers that she looks like she's on the way to work and didn't want to wear heels, which is frankly what this whole challenge looks like to me. Seriously though, I have to return to Anthony's look for a second. Wow. It's so bad. The model looks like she's being dragged down the runway.
Here is Team Joshua. Josh made a tank and shorts and this fringe vest thing. It's OK, but more basic without the twist. He, of course, is talking it up. Here's that dress of Josh's with a new camisole top. The top doesn't look quite right, though the neckline is kind of charming. People chose some jacked prints for this challenge, right? I don't find a single good quality in most of them. That weird bottom-of-the-swimming-pool print on Anthony's team? What were they thinking? Here's the maxi-dress. It's simply made but I think it's a pretty fresh idea. I can totally see a cute girl like Anya rocking this and some sneakers and no bra and still being the hottest girl at the dry cleaner. Anya feels like the design needs to be tweaked to make it more like sportswear, so she's feeling a little anxiety. However, she does think the dress is something that people would wear.
Everyone's onstage. Heidi says that the show was all over the place. Every team had high and low points, so there's no winning team. Everyone gets judged. Teams Viktor and Bryce get to leave while the first two teams are questioned. Anthony describes the looks on his team, admitting that he didn't like his own look very much. He says that Bert didn't want to work with them, but Bert disagrees. Anthony says that he doesn't like Bert's look because it looks like a cocktail waitress and he expressed that to Bert. Bert stubbornly stands by the idea that it was everybody else's fault. I really don't like him now. Seriously, Anthony looks like he's about to collapse and that dude is just trying to stab him. Anthony calls Bert on a "fucking lie" and Bert just plays a "I know you are, but what am I?" That's becoming quite the theme this season, isn't it? So, I hate Bert. Wasted a lot of time trying to defend him before. Joe R., YOU WERE RIGHT. Finally, the judges suggest that Anthony should have spent more time worrying about his own look than about Bert's. Yes. This is true. Nina thinks it looks like pajamas. Michael says that he achieved baggy and tight at the same time. They're droopy, yet with camel toe. This makes Bert laugh, while standing right to Anthony. This guy is such an asshole. Anthony was never rude to him. They didn't see eye to eye, but Anthony was never rude to him. When the model turns around, Bert says that she has "camel butt" too. Now, who ever heard of a damn camel butt? This guy needs to shut his mouth. When they criticize Laura's top, Bert clenches his fists in glee. I just don't understand this fucker. They say that Bert's is the only decent look onstage, though it's also wrong for the challenge. Anthony says that he just got caught up trying to work with everyone. Bert mumbles something about not needing their kind of help. I have so many nasty things that I would say if I were Laura but she is SUCH bigger person than me and just lets it all slide.
Heidi doesn't like the stripe on the maxi-dress. It's Heidi's favorite look though. Heidi doesn't like the vest on Josh's look, but Nina is rather fond of it. Erin likes the detailing on Josh's look. Nina slams "Becky's" look and she agrees with Nina. The whole Becky/Josh fight comes out and she says that she was picked as a seamstress. Josh says he won the race and got to tell people what to do. Michael says that fighting aside, their collection is more cohesive than Team Anthony's. Erin says it's an accomplishment to achieve such synchronicity.
The other teams trade places with these guys. Backstage, Laura says that she feels bad for Anthony. He looks pretty sick right now. He says to Bert that he's not easy to work with and he tried to be nice to him. Bert says that they just don't click and every time he speaks, someone laughs. Hmm, Anthony reminds him that on stage, JUST NOW, he was laughing at what the judges said about him and Laura. Anthony tells us that he hasn't been this pissed since he had cancer. Me neither! Wait.
Heidi says that Viktor's is her favorite look. Michael loves the jacket too. Heidi and Michael are still not buying Olivier's skirt. Heidi and Erin love the holster on Josh's tee. Nina loves it too. Viktor says the theme came from him and his motorcycle jacket.
Michael loves Bryce's dress. He doesn't like the other two. He hates Danielle's top. Heidi says that she keeps on making that top. She tells them that she made a knit liner for a silk blouse, which Michael says was a big no-no. They do like the jacket that Danielle made.
The judges confer. Michael says this may have been the biggest group dust-ups that he has seen. He also points out that Anthony was trying to control the bus and lost control of his outfit. They respect Josh for being honest about choosing Becky for her sewing skill. Nina thinks that Viktor's team was really urban. They think the skirt was the only weak link. Nina thinks that Viktor has already come a long way. Michael loves Bryce's dress again. He thinks the shape is flattering. Nina thinks that Danielle is ambitious, but doesn't deliver. Erin thinks that Anthony's look was the worst. Nina thinks that he has more promise than Danielle. Heidi is having none of it.
The designers come back to the stage. Heidi has a twist, she says. She declares Viktor the winner! Then, she says that Josh M. is the winner too. I hate him. Becky hugs him though. Viktor is excited about his look being sold on Amazon and Heidi says it's nice to see him smile for a change. The winners have immunity and their teams are safe. Fucking Josh, man. He goes backstage and tells Anya that he couldn't have done it without her then he's like, oh, and Kimberly too. KIMBERLY. Becky doesn't even take offense because I'm sure she just wants to conserve her energy at this point. For real though. That jagoff. Anya hugs Viktor backstage.
Bert is in. Laura is in. Kimberly is in. Bryce is in. That leaves Danielle and Anthony. This is sad. I like both of them. Heidi says that it was not an easy decision, nor was it unanimous. She says that Danielle was boring and Anthony completely fell apart. Anthony is...in. He starts crying. Heidi says that, were it up to her, he would be out. He hugs Danielle before he leaves. Backstage, Laura hugs him. Danielle gets her kisses and leaves. She says that she's sad to leave the designers and the competition. Bryce hugs her and says he's sorry. Tim comes in and says that he's proud of everyone for telling the truth on the runway. Danielle tells everyone it was an honor to work with them and she'll miss them. She says she has no regrets and she doesn't think that her look was the worst on the runway.
Jeff Long is a performer/writer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com