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Jeff Long is staying at a place where they don't have cable. What kind of place is that? Not a very fun one, if you ask me. He'll return to civilization in time to do the full recap, but in the meantime, let's have at the happenings of last night.
The designers get stuck on a group challenge where they have to design a collection. That's six looks for a thousand smackers, and it should combine elements from the season. Michael C., Ivy, AJ, Gretchen, Andy and Christopher make up one team… which quickly becomes Team Gretchen. Like anyone couldn't have seen that coming. They opt for Menswear as Women's clothing for the theme with the color of camel, and instead of having each person do one of the six looks, they assign out various elements to each designer. They completely ignore Michael C., who looks increasingly grateful for having immunity.
Over on the underdog team, where not a soul among them has won a challenge, are April, Mondo, Casanova, Peach, Michael D. and Valerie. They've opted for a military-inspired collection, with lace as their fabric of choice. Oh, too bad April didn't have the lace last week for her layered panties. They decide that they want each person to do their own look that has some similar elements.
At Mood, Gretchen is a nightmare, and I'm surprised that the staff hasn't killed her, but adorable puppy Swatch is there, so that's redeeming. Tim doesn't really seem all that impressed with either team's strategy, and this causes Casanova to have a meltdown and threaten to leave. His model talks him off the ledge.
After chaos, they start putting out the collections with Georgina Chapman (designer and co-founder of Marchesa) as this week's guest judge. I kind of love the team that is dubbed Military and Lace. In fact, for all his crying, Casanova's outfit is actually great, with a backless lace shirt and a sexy-as-hell pair of white pants. Naturally, Gretchen says that their collection doesn't go together, but there are metal zippers or hardwear on all of them and some bright tights and matching hair that actually coordinates. Shut up, Gretchen.
Team Luxe (wonder who came up with that name). AJ doesn't see himself in his own collection, but thinks that strong tailoring makes up for that. It's a cohesive collection, but lacks a bit of personality., since there are 21 pieces that have all been tossed together. Christopher is happy that they worked together and didn't slit each other's throats. I guess that's something.
Team Military and Lace is the winning team. Go, little island of misfit toys. The other team looks hella pissed about losing, except Michael C with his immunity. Georgina really likes that they work together. While Casanova and Peach are getting kudos for their looks, the other team is in the back trying to formulate a strategy Guess who is panicking? Not such a fearless leader now are we, Gretchen?
Once she's out on the runway defending their collection, she starts crying and says that they all really worked really hard and couldn't the judges take pity on them. You can tell she wishes she could throw Michael C. under the bus. Ivy chimes in with this fake-ass baby cry about how being told they are losers is like having a baby and being told it is ugly. Michael Kors rolls his eyes along with me. Gretchen then asks to talk more. Heidi indulges her… or gives her enough rope. Either way. She babbles about how they'd like the judges to keep the person they want to see more of. Nina complains about proportion and unsexiness. Ivy's look (she's the only one who did a complete one) is called out by Heidi as the worst. Gretchen starts singing a different tune and says that she was stuck styling a crappy collection. And then she throws Michael under the bus (even after Georgina calls Michael's blouse perfect). Everyone then says that Michael is the worst stylist in their collection and that they all should stick around. Heidi says that it is easy to point fingers at the person who is safe. They all seem surprised that they aren't somehow going to take away his immunity.
Gretchen sasses that they want a martyr and the judges have had just about enough of her snippiness. Frankly, is this what we're getting with this extra half an hour? I could really live without it. Finally, someone gets them to show which individual pieces they made. The judges discuss, and eventually Casanova wins (he should thank his model), Michael C. cries because the bullies ganged up on him, Gretchen is in the bottom two and A.J .goes home. Instead of just wishing A.J. well, Tim comes in and basically says that they shouldn't have listened to Gretchen the manipulative bitch and that they all basically behaved like brats on the runway and A.J. took the bullet. Tim Gunn, you rule! More of that please. -- Angel Cohn
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously: The challenge was to create a look to wear with a Philip Treacy hat. Other Michael barely escaped disaster and created a look that the judges, if not every other person in America, nay the world, found only OK. He won the challenge. Kristin got shown the door. Fine, the dress was crap. I'm just upset that Other Michael won.
It's morning at the Atlas Building and Casanova, Mondo and Christopher are lounging. Christopher is still shocked that Other Michael won the last challenge. Mondo says that he thinks Christopher should have won and Christopher, this is so polite of him, agrees. He says that Other Michael's skill level is far below the other designers. In the other boy apartment, Other Michael is getting his morning coffee fix with the boys. He interviews that none of the designers really seemed excited for him, which disappointed him. That's very sad for you, Other Michael. Don't think that you will get even a little bit of sympathy from me. I'm not falling into that trap. The girls are still shocked that he won the challenge too. Valerie says that April was lucky to not get eliminated, because everyone made elaborate designs whilst she created a diaper. It was not a diaper. April jokes to Peach that everything is sad because no one understood her diaper (her choice of word). Peach laughs along as April dryly says that she has no idea what is going on in this competition. She says that the only thing she can do is be herself and let the other stuff happen has it may. Peach tells April that the both of them have targets on their backs. That's dangerous.
On the runway, Heidi greets everyone. She tells the designers that, for the challenge, they will be working in teams of six. Other Michael gets to choose his first teammate. He chooses Gretchen. April interviews that he's an idiot for choosing her, which she says is akin to hiring Hitler. April believes that Gretchen will "put her foot" on every idea that the team has. Well, let's hope their ideas call for footprints. Heidi pulls a name out of a back to decide who will be choosing teams for the other side. It's April. Valerie interviews "Crap!" She doesn't want to be with Other Michael, but she's not crazy about working with April either. Huh? I think April seems really talented and easy-going, diaper notwithstanding. You make one diaper and the world hates you. And, not to go back to yesterday's news, but doesn't it seem like people always get slammed for doing stuff like hot pants on this show? I understand that they're hard to pull off, but...whatevs. Like any of us would want to live in a world where hot pants were not welcomed at least somewhere. April chooses Mondo.
Gretchen gets to choose for her team and she goes with Christopher. Mondo chooses Cute Michael. Christopher chooses Andy who interviews that he feels good about Christopher being on his team. He feels that the team could be very strong. Cute Michael chooses Cleveland's main girl, Valerie. Andy goes with Ivy. Valerie chooses Casanova. He interviews that being in the bottom three for two challenges makes him look like he's one of the worst designers there. He wants to prove himself on this challenge. The mannequins do NOT even know what to say about the low slung chartreuse blouse the he's wearing. Well, let me try. What the? No, Casanova. Yes, Romeo and I have never been friends, but you should know that the cut and color of that garment are not your friends either. Ivy chooses A.J., which leaves Peach for April's team. That can't ever feel good. She looks around comically to see if anyone's behind her. She's a great sport. She runs onstage to join her team.
Peach interviews that the other team are all of the "self-proclaimed superstars." They are the folks that have won challenges. In fact, Lifetime shows us a little graphic of the number of wins that Other Michael's team has. 4. Hmm, well, we've only had four episodes, so that must mean that Peach's team has not won a single challenge. She says that they are the underdogs. Other Michael says that he's happy with his team because they are all the best of the best. April interviews that the other team is a clusterfuck of personalities and all of those egos are going to clash.
At Parson's, Tim greets the designers and is joined by Peter Butler, consulting stylist for Garnier. Tim says that the challenge is for each team to create a six piece collection that is on trend for Fall 2010. Ivy's all, "An entire collection. Seriously?!" Luckily, the designers are getting a little help with the "on trend" part from the producers. There is a poster board with columns for themes and textiles. Are we going to trust Lifetime to seriously know what the hot looks for Fall are going to be? The list of themes are Minimalism, Retro '50s and Lady-like Shapes, Menswear for Women and Military. On the textiles side, we have gold and other metallics, camel, leopard and cheetah prints (too soon), plaid and "of course" lace. "Of course" lace? I love the way Tim says that. The groups will select one choice from each column. Apparently, there are also hair trends. Peter says that hair will fall just below the shoulders and it will be both voluminous and soft. It's a revolution. I'm sure there's a pipeline for these trends, but do we really just sit around and talk about the thing that's not happening yet and exactly what's going to happen when it happens? That said, can't wait to see some hair right below the shoulder. I am PSYCHED for some trendy hair right below the shoulder.
The teams have an hour to sketch. The budget for each team is a grand. Peach interviews that she's excited because she's never had the luxury of that much money for supplies. As they begin, Cute Michael says that he thinks it's important for them to all respect each other, be kind and listen. Hold on, I need to pick up my heart, which just BURST OUT OF MY CHEST. Everyone agrees with Cutie because they are not insane. Meanwhile, Ivy and someone else (?) -- who knows since she was so loud that I could only really hear her -- scream at Other Michael that they don't need the easel that he brought to their meeting. They will not be practicing the respecting, listening and kinding on this team. Gretchen informs everyone that the gods have convened in her brain and insisted that they go with the menswear trend and the leopard and animal prints. Peach tells her team that she doesn't want to do menswear, because she thinks it could fall flat. April ads that she likes military, but it's actually a trend right now, so they would need to put a spin on it.
Gretchen's team decides to go with menswear. Their color story will be camel, which Christopher seems a little unexcited about in his interview. April's team calmly votes and it looks like they are going with military. There are a few holdouts, like Valerie and Peach. To them, April says that they don't have to make the collection "straight-up military." Their central textile is lace. Casanova says that both of these things are favorites of his. They all begin to sketch on his team. Their strategy is to all create their own designs and make sure that they have details that make the collection cohesive. They are going to be using black lace.
The other team decides to assign projects to different designers, instead of each of them creating their own looks. Hmm. This is coming from a negative place. Christopher seems like he gets it and thrives in a team environment, but the others (mostly Gretchen) seem like they're using the "project" scheme as a way to weed out the work from others that she doesn't deem worthy. She says that they should consider a "winter short," which seems like a real bore coming from her. She adds that the other team is all "cuckoo drama," so they should work on being tailored and clean. A.J. insists that he can clean up his stuff. He tells us that he wouldn't want to make something that stood out too much in the collection. That's very reasonable of him. Everyone ignores Other Michael and he's aware of it. I almost think that winning the last challenge was the worst thing that could have happened to him. Well, there's getting eliminated. That would be worse. Ivy interviews that the real challenge will be making sure that Other Michael does the work that he is supposed to do. Then, we see her tell him that he shouldn't use his immunity as a crutch because they are depending on him. So, Ivy is the mouth this season, yes? I'm ready for her to zip it.
Gretchen dramatically grabs her face with her hands and says that she's so proud of them for working so well and it's blowing her mind. Ivy says that they don't have time for that kind of talk right now. I recently just worked on a project with a group of people and I was talking about those individuals who create problems so that they can solve them and appear to be problem solvers. Instead of, you know, just enduring the rigor of solving the actual inherent problems of the project. My example was someone saying something like, "Hey, that lady over there, don't punch her in the face." And, you're like, "That's insane. I would never just punch someone." But, they're like, "Well, good. Problem SOLVED." Anyway, Ivy's jokey push forward with the meeting there was the only real example, but I'm feeling that from this group. Lots of people desperate to talk when they should maybe listen and tackle the problems that have already been addressed, instead of just listing new problems.
Peach is getting tense. She doesn't feel like they are working towards a cohesive collection. More specifically, she interviews that she believes that everyone on her team already thinks that they are going to be in the bottom and everyone is jockeying to make sure they don't go home. Valerie notices that Peach is nervous and wonders if it's because she's not as edgy as the others. She asks Peach to tell her what she wants to do and Peach snaps that she doesn't want to do that. This feels a little like a meltdown. Valerie interviews that Peach's behavior is bothering her because they all want to do well and want her to do well. Their team name is Team Military & Lace. Descriptive!
Christopher says that he's getting a cashmere feeling and everyone loves the idea. Their team is Team Luxe. A big bill to fit. A.J. congratulates them again for agreeing with each other. Tim enters and tells them that it's time to hit the road for Mood.
At Mood, it looks like many of the members of Team M&L work to make Peach feel comfortable and part of the team. Meanwhile, Gretchen tells Other Michael that there's no time to collaborate. She's horribly bossy with him and tells A.J. that she won't let him fuck up the project, because she will kill him first. She is a freaking monster. Meanwhile, M&L are working calmly and efficiently. Gretchen and A.J. do what appears to be a premature dance of victory. A.J. is a much worse dancer than I would have pegged him, given the gold lamè jacket he is sporting. Swatch, the Mood dog, seems really bored by all of this.
Valerie, who is rapidly becoming an obsession of mine, interviews that their plan of attack is to do their draping before they cut, so they can confirm that everyone has the right amount of fabric. Then, she notices that she said "plan of attack" and their theme is military. Then, we see another moment of Gretchen completely shutting Other Michael down. Ivy is the only person making a complete look, while the others are making pieces. Ivy cuts something and opines about how beautiful it is. Valerie jokes that she should get over herself, then says that she's glad that Ivy finds her work beautiful. God, I love her! I need Valerie in my life. It gets better. She interviews that "someone" saw their team planning and she knows that they are working on pieces instead of looks. She thinks that this is a disaster akin to having the runs and the pukes at the same time. You're screwed. I'm not even sure I grasp the analogy, but I love it. She tells April that she thinks this challenge is totally her. April interviews that she's not sure if her view of Valerie has changed. She still doesn't trust her. I don't remember her not trusting Valerie in the first place, but I'm assuming that was a thing.
We see Gretchen ask Christopher how A.J. is doing and if he's checked up on him. He replies that he believes A.J. is sewing. She interviews that she's worried about A.J. because his craftsmanship is not up to par. He interviews that this challenge is indeed difficult for him.
Casanova shows Valerie his updated design and she says that she thinks it's too safe. She liked his original concept better. Casanova tells us that the judges have been telling him that his work is too busy. He will retain his style in this challenge, but wants to create something softer. Of course, he says all of this with all manner of accent.
Now, I'm starting to feel bad for Other Michael. Ivy tells him brusquely that he doesn't need another piece of fabric for the piece that he's making. Then, she interviews that she does not have the TIME to teach Other Michael the fundamentals of construction. Wow. She's being a real asshole even if she has a point. Frankly, their team is acting more like what Peach is afraid of, with the covering of asses instead of working together. Other Michael tells Ivy that he's able to do the thing that they are discussing and she reminds him that he couldn't do the last thing that he said he could do. Asshole. He interviews that she's gonna get it-he's gonna explode. Do it, Other.
He kinda stomps off and Christopher notices the exchange and suggests to Gretchen that they nurture him a little bit. She hears that as "coddle." Nice thought, Christopher, but there is no team leader and you could just take the initiative and do the nurturing yourself. Gretchen says that they are not going to lose from one bad look, then interviews that Other Michael is a huge "time suck." Do actual human beings qualify as being time sucks? The DMV is a time suck. Happening upon a marathon of Hoarders is (ironically) a time suck. People? I'm not sure. Gretchen says that she's not playing no game with some boy who doesn't know how to sew. Generous. She interviews that she's freaking out because Other Michael is the weak link.
Tim comes back with Peter Butler, who is so very ginger. Two members of each team will consult with him. April and Valerie are the reps from their team. Peter translates military and lace as masculine and feminine. Garnier Gender Roles, coming to a restrictive society near you. Valerie presented this idea of french braids and faux-hawks, but Peter finds it too busy. He gives them this soft, yet messy, militaristic look that is pretty modern. Gretchen and Andy rep their team and Peter, who's wearing a green tank and t-shirt combo that I'm loving, gives them a modernized old Hollywood look. A low part on the side is apparently the modern part. Anyway, the model looks gorgeous and Gretchen is further convinced that they are going to win.
Back in the workroom, Tim visits and consults them as teams. He starts with Military & Lace. They all seem terrified. He likes Mondo's look and gives some constructive critique to Peach and April. Other Michael looks over and interviews that their collection looks bordello-inspired and is not going to be pretty. Nose to the grindstone, dude. People are out for your blood. Casanova is the most worried because Tim always says something negative to him and it really seems to be getting to him. And, this is no different. Tim tells him that his look seems like the mother of all of the other looks. Dejected, he interviews, "Once again, Casanova, you make another senior citizen garment." This is very funny to me. Then, he says he doesn't know what happened to his taste and it's sad to hear someone unsure of themselves like that. Lord knows we've all been there. Well, except for Gretchen. Tim advises them to keep helping each other, then moves on.
Team Luxe describes their collection. Tim seems a little confused about the making different pieces within each other's looks concept. But, Gretchen really sells it, because she doesn't have wrong thoughts and this was a thought of hers. April interviews that their collection looks really boring. After their presentation, Tim concurs. He tells them that, after looking at the other team's work, theirs looks "ho hum." Ouchie.
Tim leaves and Casanova decides that he needs to take a break. He goes to lie down. Valerie interviews that he has a major diva moment, then we see her counseling him. He's really frustrated about all of the bad criticism he has gotten. It gets worse. He's not just taking a nap, he's thinking about leaving. It stands to reason, the judges haven't really liked anything that he's done and he feels like he's getting fat. But, Valerie points out that he's not just making a decision for himself but also for the rest of the team. Cute Michael is there too and tells Casanova that his work is breathtaking. They leave him to rest and Valerie says that they need to finish his dress. She also interviews that he needs to put his panties back on and finish what he started, presumably because having an artistic temperament means that you have a vagina and that you wear panties. Maybe he's just taking a time out, Valerie?
The models come in for fittings and Casanova's model, Sarae, goes to find him. He's in the middle of a tearful phone convo with his Aunt Lucy when he arrives. She asks him how he's doing and she tells him that he shouldn't let other people's words get to him. He has to make what he thinks is beautiful. This works for him. He thinks that maybe he's being too sensitive and gets back to work.
Meanwhile, A.J. doesn't have anything for his girl to try on. Gretchen is disappointed that he and Other Michael are so fucking stupid. Man, this girl is a piece of work. Even though she's right, the boldness in which she states her righteousness is just off-putting in the extreme. Casanova, who seems much lighter now, wonders aloud if maybe he's too old-fashioned for this show. Maybe he can only work with sluts? This gets a big laugh from April. He says that he needs to make it work and it looks like it's starting to happen. Gretchen, however, is spazzing by the time the day is over.
The morning, April tells Peach that she feels like their team is in a good position because they are all so creative, while the other team is all Gretchen. Cut to: Gretchen telling Ivy that she woke up at 4 AM tossing and turning and made a LIST of everything they needed to accomplish. What did I tell you? Like people don't know what they need to finish, right? It's clothing. It's pretty clear when you are not wearing it. But, here's Gretchen with her list of redundancy. THAT'S gonna save the day. That said, the team feels fairly refreshed by the list. Maybe because their spirits have all been crushed and they are no longer capable of thinking for themselves.
Team M&L seems super chill and confident, while Luxe is scrambling. Gretchen screams at Other Michael about not being able to understand some construction stuff she's talking about. Jesus, no one learns that way. OK, so their whole team really goes crazy, especially Ivy. She's running all around and totally shows her underwear when she tries to get something off of a table. Valerie is visibly disgusted. She says that their team is totally "cray cray" and she's glad she's not working with them. April thinks it's a "clusterfuck mess" and I agree with her.
Tim arrives and gives his usual spiel. So, Christopher is sporting a wedding band. BACKGROUND, LIFETIME. We need it. So, Luxe starts asking their models for help sewing. Wow. I guess it has happened before, but it feels really crazy right now. The hair people make a joke about Mondo having the same hair as the look for his team's models. He doesn't really laugh at it, which I respect. Who is developing some major love for Mondo? Dude's a badass, right? With 10 minutes, Luxe is still sewing. M&L are polishing their girls and ready to go. Valerie interviews that the Bad News Bears might pull this one out. Gretchen says that the M&L collection looks related but doesn't flow. Huh? She believes that the Luxe work looks like a collection. A.J. says that their work was ambitious and it doesn't surprise him that his team HAS the winning collection. Has. Meanwhile, his girls are still getting dressed and it's actually time to start the show. Ivy thinks the other team doesn't have a chance. This is followed by Cute Michael in his countertenor most amazing voice, "They have a sweater called the 'Grandpa Sweater'" What the fuck?!"
Can someone tell me why this show is so long yet there doesn't seem to be any extra content? Drop Dead Diva. No. Heidi greets the designers on the runway. So, you guys must be digging her bangs? No one has agreed with me about her Dorothy Hamill haircut. Perhaps I'm just suffering from Heidi Fatigue and her hair is just fine. I don't think that's it though. BANGS. She introduces the judges, including the guest judge, the insanely pretty Georgina Chapman.
The show begins with Team Military & Lace's work. Mondo's look is first. It's this short fitted sleeveless dress with epaulets and orange leggings. I could totally see a pop star wearing this to the airport or something. It's very cool. Peach's look is . The skirt, which is high-waisted and blue with chains at the top is not my favorite. But, the color is pretty. It's just kind of blah otherwise. The top though is really cool. It's black lace with red underneath. Pretty and flattering. April made this military vest and slacks that are very young and fun. I could see some ladies running the Meatpacking District and drinking their assholetinis in this get up. Valerie made a white suit with some military buttons and shaping and stuff. There's blue leggings and a blue blouse underneath. It has some epaulet action too. Gretchen whispers that Valerie's outfit has little relationship to the last look and she thinks they've got it.
Then, OMG, Casanova did it. His girl is wearing cream pants with brass buttons up the sides of them. And, she's wearing a black lace top that has a cutout in the back. It's pretty freaking rad. Like, Georgina Chapman would approve of the silhouette of that blouse. Valerie tells Casanova that she wants his pants for herself. Also, the cream pants bring Valerie's look right back into the fold. It all connects. Cute Michael made this intricate black lace dress that's got hardware on the waist. I think it's very cute. All of the stuff from this team is looking very polished too. Cutie says that he sees Georgina staring at his outfit and it makes him happy. All of the models walk one last time and Gretchen repeats that it doesn't look like a cohesive collection and I think she's wrong. Collections often run the gamut and the two at either end of said gamut aren't going to look alike, but they are most certainly all connected. Stupid Gretchen needs to shut it 'fore I cut it.
And, here's Team Luxe. Look 1 is the shirt dress that A.J. worked on. There are multi-colored tights underneath, which I guess are camel? The fabric seems to sheer to me. And, I don't like the tights. The cut of the shirt isn't so bad though. Look 2 is tailored camel slacks and this halter top with pleating at the neck. It's mostly backless too. There's a little cape that goes over it. It's all very elegant. The slacks were the only part that approached menswear though. And, it was maybe a little boring. The look is a gray skirt, a pleated blouse and a belted cream jacket that I guess is the menswear element. Boring. Casanova says to Valerie that it looks sophisticated but she replies that it looks big. The jacket did look like it was belted to reign in the volume. up are shorts and this big blouse with a vest. The shorts look really well made, but I don't know. It's a little bulky.
Ivy says that she's proud of their team for completing 21 pieces. is a cowl neck blouse with gray slacks and a blazer with the tiniest lapels ever. It's belted. The slacks are OK, but I'm not really a fan of anything up top. Here's a maroon skirt, with a matching blouse with a cutout on the décolletage. Meh. There's a little camel blazer that flares at the waist that I like. Gretchen says that fashion isn't just about embellishments and drama. It's also about thoughtfulness. She's so insipid. The collection comes out for a final walk. Boring.
After the show... Team M&L wins! They're ecstatic. Luxe leaves the runway. Backstage, they're really mopey. They are all surprised. Onstage, Valerie says that they wanted to balance between hard and soft. Heidi likes the collection. Georgina thinks that it's all cohesive, but each garment has it's own personality. Backstage, Gretchen says that the lace was the only thing that held the M&L collection together. Ivy says that it wasn't cohesive. God, get over it you group of bitches. Michael Kors thinks that M&L managed to mix military with lace without making their designs look like a costume. All of them love the hair.
Then, Heidi asks who made Casanova's look and seems a little stunned to hear that it was his. Michael says that Casanova's couture background came in handy today. He also loves the edging on Peach's blouse. Nina thinks that it's one of the best things that Peach has shown. Backstage, Team Luxe all agree to stand by their work and not throw someone under the bus. Mondo and Valerie both think that Casanova should win the challenge. Casanova thinks that it should go to Peach.
The Luxe losers return to the stage. Gretchen, of course, speaks for the team. She says that they wanted to work as a team. Heidi asks who the weak link was and Gretchen starts to cry and says that there was no weak link and she would like the judges to be MINDFUL of the fact that they all worked really hard. Ivy, crying as well, says that it's like having a baby and someone saying that it's ugly. I don't believe her at all. Michael Kors wants to punch something. Heidi reminds them that Other Michael has immunity and Gretchen has just one more thing she would like the judges to be MINDFUL of. Lotta nerve, this one. But, she says that she just wants the judges to choose a loser by choosing the people they want to see more of. Hmm, it sounds suspiciously like she's trying to add Other Michael to the group of possibly eliminated. He grabs her hand to comfort her, but she doesn't look like she's having it.
Michael Kors tells them that fashion is nasty and there's no time for this bullshit. Georgina thought the collection was boring. Nina felt that there were a lot of proportion problems and the colors were "ghastly." Michael Kors doesn't think that there is anything luxurious about this collection. They hate A.J.'s dress. It's not sexy or proportionate. Gretchen says that they realized late in the game that the collection maybe looked a little old. Wait, tune changing and Heidi notices. Nina thinks the styling is ridonk and Gretchen takes the blame but then says that she had to style a crappy collection. Uh, this is a whole different radio station. Heidi's all wha? And Nina's all like Heidi's right.
At this point, Gretchen just fucking nails Other Michael. She says that she spent so much time helping him that she couldn't be proud of her own work. Other Michael shows the blouse that he made and Georgina says it's perfect. Then, every other designer, save A.J., agrees with Gretchen's view of Other Michael. In fact, Ivy even says that she's not sure if his problem is laziness or ignorance. Um, have fun working together in the future. Heidi, who has never seemed more German than at this very moment, says that Other Michael has immunity, so this conversation is pointless. This is about the rest of them. Andy says that they'll have to decide based on their past work, but Michael says that's not how it works. Have they never watched this show before? So, they begin pointing out every garment they worked on. Then, they go backstage, where Other Michael sits alone. Gretchen describes backstage why they chose Other Michael as their weak link. Valerie asks him how he feels about that and he seems really sad. He doesn't feel the same way, but he'll agree if everyone else feels that way. Gretchen, sounding self-aware for a moment, says the final point is that they failed.
The judges confer. They are happy that M&L, mostly losers, did so well today. Heidi is really excited for Casanova, while Nina and Michael are excited about Peach. Heidi is shocked by Luxe. Michael thinks that Gretchen spoke too much. Nina mocks her crying, which is amazing. They hate Ivy's look. Michael felt that A.J. gave up his design aesthetic, while only making one piece. Heidi points out that Gretchen was the team leader.
Everyone returns to the stage. The winner is... Casanova! He's so excited. They leave the stage. He thanks his teammates backstage. Oh God, let's lose Gretchen. Michael is in. He wishes everyone luck before he leaves, which I find pretty damn big of him. He goes backstage and starts crying about how everyone was going after him. Shit, maybe I have to sort of like him or something now. Christopher is in. Ivy is in. Really? Andy is in. It's down to Gretchen and A.J. Gretchen is... in. She nods approvingly and leaves the stage. Backstage, she says that she takes responsibility for the things she was called out for. That's A.J. then. He interviews that he wishes he'd gone home for something that was his own aesthetic.
Tim enters and asks A.J. to sit for a minute. He tells Team Luxe that he does not understand their behavior on the runway. He wonders why they let Gretchen manipulate the situation and bully them. This is amazing. The worst shaming of maybe all time. Bully? That's better than I would have thought of. No one is eager to disagree with Tim because they're all such bitchy sheep. Like this little snake, Ivy. She interviews that she really trusts Tim and what he said was "an 'aha' moment." Like, "New person to vilify!" I'm totes over Ivy. Gretchen cries in an interview that Tim really hurt her feelings and she's not manipulative and A.J. could have made a not boring shirt dress. April is tearful as A.J. leaves. She interviews that Gretchen should be going home because she manipulated him. I don't know if that's true, but he certainly would have been better suited with another trend.
A.J. says this was an amazing experience. He thinks this will make him better in the future.
Jeff Long is a manipulative bully in Brooklyn. He also writes and acts. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com
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