It's the first half of the finale this week. The designers go to their respective corners and get to work. They all get a visit from Tim Gunn, who arrives at each of their homes driving a kicky Saturn. First, he visits Michael, who is a charming host. His designs, however, are looking pretty crapola. They have dinner at Michael's family's home, where Michael's father expresses relief that his son is not a "beautician." , Tim goes to Uli's Miami condo. Uli tells us about growing up in East Germany and how America is the land of dreams and it's absolutely endearing. Her designs are looking very "Uli," which is debatable qualitatively. At Jeffrey's, we hear more about Jeffrey's monster of a father and his troubled druggy youth. His kid is really cute and his girlfriend looks like she could kick some serious ass. As well, Jeffrey lives in a really kick-ass home and has a HUGE workspace. He could make Mardi Gras floats in that workspace. His collection is coming along beautifully, and Tim is duly impressed. At Laura's place in Manhattan, we meet her little boys, who all seem really cute. One of them offers Tim Gunn some turtle feces, which Tim responds to with Sturm und Drang. Laura's stuff is what you might expect, and Tim gives her praise as well as some criticism.
Then the designers are back in New York, sharing a suite. Since the airing of the show, it's apparent that Laura really doesn't like Jeffrey, not that there was much love to lose there in the first place. They all start getting to work, all except for Jeffrey. He is totally, 100 percent finished, which arouses suspicion from Laura. Uli and Michael agree, only they're quieter about it. Finally, Laura tells Tim her problem with Jeffrey's stuff â essentially, he was a crappy sewer during the competitions and now his work is flawlessly completed. She thinks he had help sewing that was against the rules. Then she tells Jeffrey that she broached the subject with Tim. He gets really antsy and anxious, especially after Tim tells him that they will be investigating his process.
Four designers are going to Fashion Week! All of the designers are sitting by the runway at Parsons for some reason. There's a shot of Uli and Michael sitting beside each other. Heidi enters the runway carrying the lovely black velvet button bag. She reminds us that all four of the designers are going to Olympus Fashion Week. Then she asks them if they are excited. Oddly, they couldn't care less. I'm lying. They are going to have to create twelve looks to complete their collections. They will be using the models they had from the last challenge, which means that Laura has Camilla, Jeffrey has Marilinda, Uli has Nazri, and Michael has busted Clarissa. Heidi reviews the list of rewards that the winner will receive, and it looks like the Saturn Sky Roadster gets the biggest response. Unless, of course, we see them reacting to something different altogether, which could very well be the case. Likewise, maybe this whole universe is just an atom that's a part of a molecule that's a part of, I don't know, a dog or something; and we're all just living in this tiny atom and right to us there's a whole other universe. But it's all so insignificant, because we're really just part of some dog. Makes you a little crazy to think about, eh? That's how I feel when I start thinking about the editing too much. It's like I'm just a tiny part of a dog and that's not great for my self-image. So, they're thrilled about the Saturn Sky Roadster.
Then Heidi introduces a "very special guest." It's Tim Gunn. I understand that the pomp and circumstance is a refined sort of presentation or whatever, but... sweet Jesus. I'm seriously so over the champagne toasts and very special guests. They're asking a lot of the acting talents of these fashion designers, to diminishing returns. With each champagne toast and very special guest, the "Woo!"s and "Oh my God!"s have gotten a little less rowdy, a little more ironic.
Tim tells the designers that Fashion Week is a big deal, so they need to do work up to the quality he and the judges know that they can offer. Heidi adds that they shouldn't be safe. "Amaze us." Why am I so irritated by this whole runway moment? Anyway, she tells them to pack their bags. She will see them again in two months. Then she and Tim walk backstage arm in arm. She brought the lovely black velvet button bag out there and never used it.
We see Laura and Uli packing, and Laura announces that she is not only a great sewer, but also a great packer. It's probably more rewarding to pack when you're using vintage Louis Vuitton cases. My Samsonite duffel doesn't really provide the same charge. She interviews that showing at Bryant Park is a huge career opportunity for her. She is not daunted by the task before her because, as she says, "I produced a whole line of kids. Why can't I produce a whole line of dresses?" And I hear far fewer episiotomies are performed during the production of dresses than the production of babies. Except for Michael Kors. Don't ask.
"Atlas, you've been good to us," Michael says to the building as he and Jeffrey are leaving the apartment. As they all carry their luggage outside of the building, Laura announces that she's walking home, and off she goes. Michael, Jeffrey, and Uli laugh as she does a little knock-kneed jig for their benefit.
Uli hugs Michael and Jeffrey and gets into a cab. She interviews that winning the last challenge has allowed her to create her Fashion Week collection with confidence. She acknowledges that a lot of people think that she's just happy-go-lucky and nonchalant about the whole experience, but she says, "Maybe I'm the one who's going to end up on top." The mannequins are like, "Eh, I don't think so. You're sweet, though!"
Michael has some sort of cliché handbook with him and just recites a bunch of empty shit in his interview. The roller coaster has been worth it; his collection is going to be hot, the shit, the bomb; he's out for blood. And "au revoir" to Jeffrey. Michael's in a taxi and is off.
Jeffrey interviews that having the opportunity to send his own vision down the runway at Bryant Park is his dream. All the effort has been worth it. Then he gives a goofy goodbye to the Atlas Building and he's off in a taxi.
Fast-mo to a month later -- we see a plane landing. I bet Tim Gunn's on that plane. Pay up, I'm right. He's in Atlanta and driving a Saturn Sky Roadster to visit Michael Knight's house. The screen says there are four weeks until Fashion Week. Cameras inside the house film Michael opening his door to greet Tim. They hug very warmly (though a little awkwardly) and Michael invites Tim inside. Michael interviews that seeing Tim was like seeing an old friend. He also acknowledges that he has braces now. "I'm a brace-face, America." He looks pretty adorable with the braces, and it looks like they've already done a pretty good job.
Tim tells Michael that he thinks his house looks nice. He and Michael go into Michael's workroom. He has, like, a Fisher Price sewing machine. It's miniscule. Tim asks to see what Michael has been working on for his collection, and Michael looks a little nervous. Um, for good reason. It's not looking good. He explains that his theme is "Street Safari," and Tim's grooving on the title, but... the first dress we see is seriously lacking in the taste department. It's taste bankrupt. It's this Elvira-looking get-up that's wrong wrong wrong. Oh, but we just got started. His look is like Uli with Histrionic Personality Disorder. It's this trashed-up black-and-orange print. And it's floor-length. Where's the sportswear that they told him was his specialty? Tim doesn't even touch the taste level of the garment; rather, he tells Michael that he needs to work on the cohesiveness of his collection. It looks pretty cohesive to me; looks like a bunch of ugly is holding it together. At least, the three of the twelve pieces that he has done are not good. And there's only a month left. Sounds like someone should have spent a little less time in the orthodontist's chair and a little more time on his My First Sewing Machine.
, Michael takes Tim to his cousin's house, where his entire family has gathered to meet the silver fox. Apparently, Michael's going to do the cooking too. What a catch, this guy. We meet Michael's father, Michael. Tim gives a big hug to Michael's mother, Pamela, who's still a cutie.
Michael explains that he grew up an Army brat. Voicing over a montage of photos from Michael's childhood, including one where he has a huge fro and another where he's modeling and striking his best Blue Steel, Michael tells us that he started designing at the age of nine. His talent was God-given, he explains modestly. And his parents have been very supportive of him. We then see a moment where Michael Sr. tells Tim that, as Michael Jr. developed, they assumed he would one day become a beautician. But he faked them out and became a fashion designer. Cooking, fashion designing, beauticizing Michael is sounding more and more heterosexual all the time. I read somewhere that he was, like, shocked that people assumed he might be gay. Fine, we shouldn't label... but come on. People raised in a dark cage in a basement? If they were brought into the light and introduced to Michael with, "Basement Guy, meet Michael. He's a fashion designer. He's also great with make-up. And his Coq Au Vin is divine!" If that happened? Basement guy would be like, "Nice to meet you. And who's the lucky man? The light! My eyes! Grunt." It doesn't take a huge leap. And let's all agree to not keep people trapped in our basements. Anyway, Tim totally loves Michael Sr. for being so supportive of his son.
Michael says that he wants to win to make his parents proud. Then he has a momentary freak-out where he says he hopes that he doesn't eat his words. Some meditation follows, and then we see a shot of Michael's family eating with Tim Gunn. It's very sweet. Michael seems like a really stand-up, nice guy.
, we see Tim from a security monitor. The monitor is in Laura's apartment in New York and Tim's buzzing to get in. "Apartment" is the wrong word... "warehouse." Tim enters Laura's warehouse. Laura's super-pregnant at this point. She tells us that the baby is going to be a boy, which will be her fifth boy in a row. She figures that the odds of that happening are about the same as someone making it on Project Runway. Five more boys and she'll give birth to Daniel Franco. We see a sculpture of a torso of a nude pregnant woman. I can only assume that's Laura. It seems stupid to pay for someone else to pose when you've had your own naked pregnant torso to work from for over four years of your own life. I know the body's beautiful and Demi Moore and all that shit... I just -- I wouldn't want to be one of those boys bringing over friends when I was in junior high. No elaboration necessary. Except to say that I would totally accidentally break it with a hockey stick or my book bag and if one of them doesn't know what to do with the naked statue of Mom, I hope they read this recap. But Laura should probably be doing a better job of monitoring their web time than to let them read this smut.
Laura shows Tim photos of her with her grandmother. She was a painter, and Laura spent a lot of time with her. Laura was a cute little girl. We see her being held by her mother, who was totally gorgeous. Also, we see her in a dance recital costume. And there's a photo of her from the late eighties looking like Cybill Shepherd and holding her oldest child -- the girl. She tells us that her mother was a sewing teacher when Laura was growing up, which was a huge influence.
Laura starts to show Tim her collection, and he is stunned at the amount of progress she has made. She explains that none of the dresses are finished, but she wanted to start on everything so she'd have something to discuss with Tim when he got there. He approves. She starts showing her stuff, all of which has a pretty familiar silhouette. The stuff looks really expensive, though. Laura interviews that she felt that, for her collection, she should stick with her signature strengths. Plus, she thinks that eveningwear will make for a better show. She tells him that the collection is split into four groups, and I guess she's talking about color schemes, because the shapes of the dresses all seem fairly similar to me. Tim can see how the collection is cohesive, but feels that she needs to make sure her styling for the show is very young. There's the potential for her collection to look old, which is apparently a very bad thing. If only politicians geared their campaigns toward the young. Maybe then I'd have fewer daunting student loans and fewer open container liquor laws to worry about. My kingdom for a White Russian while on an afternoon stroll. There's a chartreuse number with a ruffle-y belted coat that Tim finds particularly troublesome. "That's a lotta look." She's stepping out of her comfort zone with the green dress, Laura says. She doesn't think she'll win by being safe. Tim sidesteps calling the dress ugly by asking, "Is it even pretty? I'm not certain it is."
Laura says that she has become very competitive and really wants to win the competition. She tells Tim that she has a lot of hand-sewing to complete on her collection and Tim jokes, "How adept are the boys?"
And then we meet the boys. You know, I know that Laura has been painted as a little bit of a rich bitch, but if I had a ton of money, the first thing I'd do is get me a mess of kids. Of course, there are large families with armies of nannies and people to raise their children for them, but she seems to like being in the thick of it. I just like that. Her luggage may be expensive and she wears cocktail dresses to breakfast, but she seems like good people to me. And, given the opportunity, I'd make a lot of the same choices as her. Her boys seem really happy too. They meet Tim, and the littlest one offers Tim a turtle turd. Tim does not seem amused. He's laughing and all, but I bet he was ready to quit the show. Like, "I do not need this sort of Sturm und Drang in my life! Mitigate THIS!" Laura interviews that her son was welcoming Tim to their gang. With poop. The family goes on a continent-wide search for the turtle, Frank, that almost crosses the entire span of their freaking monster apartment.
we meet Laura's husband, Peter, who is pocket-sized and adorable. He's like a nicely groomed Albert Einstein. Tim has been in their apartment for thirty minutes and he's already exhausted. Laura replies that the place seems weird without all of the noise. They find Frank -- thanks for the extra drama, Project Runway. Now missing turtles are fodder for your little circus? What ? Nuns? World leaders? Have some restraint, you trash.
Laura explains that, since she has been raising all these kids, she has never had time to concentrate on her own design career. Time and money were never available for her own business, so she hopes that winning the competition will give her the chance to make a go of it. As Frank eats some Cheerios, Laura says that her family has rallied around her. She wants to "take those other designers down."
Now Tim's coasting in another Saturn Sky Roadster in Miami. He's there to visit Uli. Uli opens the door of her apartment and greets Tim warmly. She has a view of the beautiful water in Miami and she announces that it's the "dream of America." She says that now Tim can understand why all of her designs are tropical. She interviews that she loves everything about Miami.
She tells Tim that her collection is going to be "Tropical Safari." She shows him her collection, which is mostly same-old-Uli. Tim tells her that it's all lovely, but it's not enough to win. She's in danger of looking like a one-note to the judges. Then she shows him a short little number that she's working on. He loves it. She should remember that; every time she does something short, she nails it.
Uli and Tim go for a walk on the beach. Tim's jacket is off and his sleeves are rolled up and I must admit that I find the extra Tim skin a little titillating. However, they're in the sun and he's translucent and I'm immediately afraid that he's going to fry.
Uli tells Tim that she grew up in East Germany. Because they didn't have much, she learned to make clothes from an early age. She also loves her crazy prints because of how colorless the damn Commies were when she was a kid. Odd, since we call them Reds.
She explains that East Germany was very dangerous and she would always dream of getting out, but then one day it was opened. The idea of America is that you can arrive here a nobody and become something special in a short time. And she feels like she's living that dream and she doesn't believe that it could have happened in another country. Something about Uli kind of breaks my heart. I mean, clearly that's a touching story, but something extra about her just really makes me want to cry sometimes. "Dreams can happen." That's why Uli says people come to this country. At least they did before we stopped letting them get in.
Tim drives his car to see Jeffrey in Los Angeles. Jeffrey's house looks really cute. He greets Tim at the door with his girlfriend, Melanie, and his son, Harrison. Melanie and Jeffrey look like a good match. She's got a punk aesthetic and is really pretty cute, though I'd imagine that Jeffrey would have a hard time designing clothes for her -- if you know what I mean. Jeffrey says that he is anxious to see Tim because he doesn't feel that he has been able to convince Tim of his point of view. It's hard to have a convincing point of view when you're busy posing and trash-talking. He tells the story of how he and Melanie met and how she got pregnant five months later. In case you were thinking that Jeffrey loved you more than he loves his son, he doesn't. He loves Harrison "more than anything or anyone." Revolutionary. I know it's not an odd sentiment to love your child more than anything, but it's like he's saying that he loves his kid more than you love your kid.
Jeffrey describes for Tim how his fashion business took off very quickly. In fact, he has a studio away from his home now. All of the success is due to his sobriety. His dad left their family when Jeffrey was 8, and he was a real jerk before he left. Jeffrey blamed himself for his dad abandoning them and his adolescence basically consisted of a deep descent into drug use. About five years ago, he had reached his limit and was going to hang himself. Luckily, a roommate of his had just gotten fired from her job and came home and found Jeffrey and saved him. I can't think of a better "things happen for a reason" moment than saving someone's life after you got fired. The day, Jeffrey went into rehab and has been sober ever since. Good for him. He says that he gets so upset when Harrison falls down that he can't imagine what it must feel like to have your kid become a junkie. Poor Pam.
Tim asks Jeffrey how life has been since the show started airing, and it sound like he has been super-busy. He interviews that he really wants to win. He wants to make a future for Harrison.
They go to Jeffrey's design space in downtown L.A. It's massive. He says that his inspiration for his collection was Japanese ghost stories. They are childlike, colorful, sophisticated, and scary. Tim is impressed. He hugs Jeffrey and says that he's thrilled.
Two weeks later, they return to New York. We see Michael in the airport with five days to go until the Bryant Park. He interviews that his collection is "nasty." That means it's good. One of the mannequins was like, "I was kind of confused there for a minute, but I think I've got it."
He arrives at a suite at Flatotel. He says he's exhausted from not having slept in two days, and he crashes. Laura arrives and says that she feels confident about her collection. She wants to win almost as much as she wants Jeffrey to lose. When she enters, she wakes Michael and hugs him.
Uli arrives and hugs the other two. When Jeffrey arrives, he says that he has gotten everything done for his collection, because he's sure there's going to be some twist in the competition. He wants to be prepared. When he enters the suite, Uli and Michael hug him -- but Laura doesn't, which she acknowledges in her interview. Uli asks Jeffrey if people are throwing eggs at him, and he seems surprised by the question. He tells them that his business is very busy. Then they all go to bed. Jeffrey says that he's "ready to bring the pain."
The day, they all go to their new workspace. Laura is happy to work with the other designers again, even "with the tension that Jeffrey tries to create." Michael describes how everyone was trying to surreptitiously inspect each other's collections. Laura tells Jeffrey that it looks like he has a lot of three-piece outfits, and he says that it must be the effect of the plastic bags around the clothing. It just makes her think she's seeing more pieces.
Tim enters and congratulates the designers for making it to Bryant Park. Then he inspects each of the designers' progress. Jeffrey's first. He tells Tim that he is completely finished. Tim seems impressed.
Uli is . Tim tells her that he's worried about the proportions of some of her outfits. As well, he misses her prints.
Laura shows Tim a dress that really makes him happy. He loves the detailing in her work. Also, she got rid of the chartreuse number from before and he is very happy about that. He thinks that she has a cohesive twelve-piece collection. It's really funny watching the designers eavesdrop on Tim's conversations with each of the others.
Tim's still not feeling Michael's stuff. It looks pretty tacky. There's one see-through shirt with sequins all over it. It's a mess. Tim tells Michael that he's either got to go over the top with the whickety-whack or start taking away. Either way, he needs to pull his collection together and make it look like something that would belong in the closet of the same tasteless woman. "It's 'make it work' time, Michael."
Tim asks for everyone's receipts for their collection. The editors do a nice job of suggesting something fishy -- we see Jeffrey apparently searching for all of his receipts. But then we see him hand Tim a very neat envelope. So just remember, we may all be a tiny part of a dog.
Tim leaves, and they all start getting to work. Michael decides to go over the top with his stuff. He'd rather do that than be boring. Uli says that it's important that she pick the right models for her clothes.
Model casting. John Pfeiffer, a modeling casting agent, is present at the proceedings. We see Laura exclaim that a model has hips and she's taking her. Michael says that he wants a "strong walker," which always sounds a little ridiculous to me when I hear it, but I know it's important. Laura tried to think differently about girls for each dress that she had.
Amanda auditions! Uli says they just need her card -- they don't need to see her walk. I guess she was obnoxious, but I hope she gets cast.
Jeffrey says that he wanted models who were the right size and skin tone. Uli tells one girl that they all want her and are going to have to fight over her.
, they have a hair consultation with Nathanial Hawkins of Tresemme. ["Which, if I'm not mistaken, was misspelled onscreen as 'Tresseme.' Ouch -- trouble in sponsor paradise?" -- Sars] Laura wants all of her girls to look pretty. Michael wants bouncy hair. Jeffrey has blonde Veronica Lake wigs for all of his girls because he wants them to look like a blank slate. Uli wants her girls to have a soft look.
The day, the models they've chosen start arriving for fittings. Laura tells one girl that she has the dress for her -- it's one that calls for bosoms. She interviews that Jeffrey's having an easy time with fittings. Most of his dresses are full at the bottom, so not a lot of alterations have to happen. However, something seems off to her about the fact that all the finishing on Jeffrey's garments is completed.
The poll this week is "Whose collection are you most excited to see?"
Later that day, they have a make-up consultation with Collier Strong. Michael has Clarissa with him. They are going to go for an animal look. Jeffrey wants his girls to shine, which could look really cute with those blond wigs. Laura thinks that she might like for her girls to have "a strong eye." Collier counters that a youthful look might be for the girls to be wearing very little make-up in the first place. He thinks a bronze and glowing look will work best for Uli's collection.
Back at the workspace, they all get to work -- everyone but Jeffrey. Laura interviews that she has been thinking about it, and she has serious doubts that Jeffrey sewed his collection by himself. When he's out of the room, she confides her suspicions to the other designers. Michael immediately agrees with her. Laura further interviews that she doesn't really have a problem with Jeffrey (which isn't really true) and she believes that the designs are his, but "you don't just pull craftsmanship like that out of your ass." And ouch if you did. Laura really believes that something is up. Uli goes over to his collection and tells Laura that it's really not that perfect. Laura finds another garment, some white jeans, and points at the finishing on them. Michael interviews that the jeans had also made him suspicious because they'd never seen work like that from Jeffrey before.
Uli says that they should tell Jeffrey their suspicions when he returns. Michael agrees, because "This is not what I do." "This is not what I do either, Michael," responds Laura. Damn.
Right on time, Tim enters and asks how everything is going. Laura and Tim step outside, and she expresses her concerns about Jeffrey's work. She repeats that she believes the designs are his, but she never saw craftsmanship like that from him before. She feels like she needed to say this stuff for the record. Tim explains that it can be impossible to prove wrongdoing in a situation like this, but he's "taking it to the producers."
Tim bids them all a "carry on" and leaves. Laura interviews that she is sure everyone will think she's a bitch for saying anything, but she is convinced that Jeffrey did not sew that collection by himself. I mean, that's not the rule, though, is it? It's that you not pay them more than eight thousand dollars to help you.
America has spoken. It would like to see Jeffrey's collection most. Back in the workroom, Laura very flatly tells Jeffrey that she told Tim Gunn that, due to the increase in quality of construction of his garments, she felt like he had outside help. He looks really stunned. Michael jumps in and says that he also felt some suspicion about them. Jeffrey says that of course it's perfect, it's his Bryant Park collection. He gets really defensive, which I guess would be natural... EXCEPT, if you didn't do anything, why would you care? Really, though, no one has ever been prosecuted for being too good of a sewer. If it's your work, you'll be fine. Just consider it a supreme compliment and move on. I really can't see that false allegations of him cheating could hurt his reputation any worse that acting like a total and complete asshole in front of the world for months would -- and that hasn't struck him as a huge concern. For that matter, I can't even see how actually cheating would hurt him that much, since he'll probably never really have to sew again after this show.
My thesis: I think he cheated. Because: why so upset otherwise? If he's concerned about his honor, I find that very disingenuous considering he made someone's mom cry and never apologized or even cared to. I don't think his reputation is an issue, since no one would care in the first place. I mean, Liz Claiborne worships Satan and she's still cranking out the duds. What's the big deal? And also, if you were at this stage of the competition, and you saw something that seemed a little off, and you didn't say anything? And the person you thought was cheating won? Wouldn't you feel like an ass?
Laura tells Jeffrey that she had something to say, so she said it. Now she's done. He's so pissed. If someone's better than Laura, they must be cheating! That's what he thinks, amidst a lot of fucking bleeps.
The day, still lying in bed, Laura says that Jeffrey's reaction was what she expected. "What the hell, bitch? I made this stuff myself. Shut up." Seriously, I know Americans hate a tattletale, but we also love a good mimic. That was a really good Jeffrey. She hopes there won't be too much tension in the workroom.
Jeffrey explains that he made his business sewing one-of-a-kind pieces for celebrities. When is the dude gonna can the fucking celebrity talk? Anyway, he can't sew perfectly at a quick pace, but he's "more than perfect" if he has time. Well, that explains that. Case closed. Tim enters and takes Jeffrey aside. He starts by telling Jeffrey that he's innocent until proven guilty. Case opened. Questions have been raised about Jeffrey work. Tim gives Jeffrey an opportunity to declare that he had help, and Jeffrey answers no. He sent some garments for pleating, but that's all. He interviews that he made the collection, but is scared that he's not going to be showing at Bryant Park. Why? How could you POSSIBLY be falsely convicted of having someone else sew your shit? If you didn't do it, you didn't do it! Joe McCarthy is not going to be the detective here.