Okay, a little different from reunions. People were required to make asses of themselves without the assistance of alcohol, but there was still some good stuff. For instance, Bradley Baumkirchner has now cornered the market on geek cute with beard and sans. Keith Michael was given a chance to redeem himself for being a big cheater, yet instead decided to cook up a ridiculous tale of espionage. He says that there was nothing in the contract saying they couldn't have pattern books, andâ¦oh yeah, somebody planted those books anyway. He's a fool forever now. Angela and Jeffrey rehashed Momgate, and Jeffrey said that it was never his intention to make Darlene cry, which, surprisingly, I found convincing. As well, Laura sort of took up for Jeffrey, saying that the other moms were easier to deal with.
Vincent is the guy that came out looking like poo. He got bashed for calling everyone amateurish, an opinion he supported withâ¦a riddle. Seriously, it was unintelligible. And they played the craziest clip of him screaming at the crew for screwing up his laundry. Now, whether he was right or wrong to be upset, he was unhinged. Michael, now sporting braces which make him look so cute it's almost nauseating (in a good way), won the audience favorite prize and took home an oversized check for $10,000. They completed the episode with the usual poll of the designers. Who do they think will win? They were pretty evenly split. It feels like Michael may be the guy to beat.
It's my favorite time of year. The leaves start changing. Nighttime, and its accompanying coziness, arrives faster each day. And another rip-roaring Project Runway reunion takes place. Time again to ponder why I love them so much. Of course, a lot of the appeal is seeing how the show has changed them. There's always the designer who looks like s/he's taking presentation tips from a new publicist or something. There's also the thrill of the transparency of a reunion show structure. They're all sitting in a line-up, and I will see Designer A's reaction to Designer B's comment without any fear of editing tricks diluting the truth of the moment. There's excitement in the chance that one of the designers will hold another accountable for some dastardly moment during the season. And everyone's blown out and made-up for the reunion -- can't hate that. Mostly, though, I enjoy the opportunity to watch these people react to and be changed by what we've all been watching. We've shared the experience -- if not as participants, than as viewers. So, in a way, the reunion is communion. We are one with the designers. And with that ridiculous statement, you've hopefully forgotten that this is the first reunion to take place in the fall. I just really wanted to say something about leaves changing. Admit it, you were moved.
Okay, so Heidi does a quick overview of the season. She reminds us that four designers are going to Fashion Week. She says that we're going to see new footage, and I'm assuming we're seeing a clip of the new stuff as she says this. Vincent is screaming at some guy. No one said it would be unexpected unseen footage. And we see a Mr. Keith Michael walking up some stairs, as if into a reunion of people who don't like him. Oh God, please let that be good. Really.
It begins with Heidi and Tim Gunn sitting in director's chairs and the designers, except the four finalists and Keith Michael, sitting on couches. They're at Parsons. So, unless someone has snuck in a flask (Bonnie, you're our only hope), we're not going to see any embarrassing drunken shenanigans like years prior. That's hugely disappointing.
Heidi welcomes the designers back to Parsons, their "home away from home." She says that everyone is looking good, which segues into her introduction of another good-looking guy, Tim Gunn. Tim robotically announces that they will be looking at highlights from the season as well answering questions sent into Bravo's website. Tim's stilted delivery is comforting to me. It just proves his authenticity during non-scripted moments.
Everybody pretty much looks the same. Stacey Estrella looks really nice. Katie's still dumpy. Alison is the same, though I think I don't really like her much anymore. What I had thought was a kind of coquettish demeanor now looks haughty. Kayne of Many Colors has beard stubble and looks like he's lost a few (more) pounds. His shirt is predictably over the top -- bright vertical stripes with some sort of pattern on them. And -- wait. Excuse me, Bradley Baumkirchner, is that you? Don't think you can hide back there. His hair is short? And there's not a beard? It hasn't been confirmed, but I think it's safe to say that he's still the cutest boy ever. Let's dance, Brad.
Heidi asks everyone how they are enjoying their fresh celebrity status. Then she directs the question to Bradley and we see that, indeed, he is still the cutest boy in the world. Only now, instead of "American Apparel model," he looks more "Icelandic ambient musician." I can't really complain. Bradley says that no one recognizes him now that he's cleaned up, but Tim declares that they will after the reunion show airs.
Maybe Bonnie did sneak in some hooch. She tells a story about how a girl came up to her and asked her if she was on Project Runway. After she confirmed it, the girl screamed, "Oh my God! Oh my God! You SUCKED!" Then, she ran off. Bonnie continues, "I was like... Then, I was like... Then, I was kinda like... " First of all, how horrible. And, random girl who harassed Bonnie Dominguez, if you're reading this -- your breath stinks. I don't know, something. What a rude thing to say to someone who has already been eliminated from the damn contest. Secondly, Bonnie actually seemed a little drunk just then.
Heidi asks Vincent to respond to the question and he replies, "Knowing who your fans are and why they like you is a beautiful thing." I have a problem with previously unknown (except to mental health professionals) reality TV show contestants talking about their "fans" when the season of the show introducing them hasn't even concluded. It hurts. Heidi asks Vincent, "Did it turn you on? I know you get turned on by a lot of things." Heidi must have an earpiece in or something. She's working the segues like a pro and I didn't think she had it in her. Vincent laughs and does his best Welcome Back, Kotter and replies, "I can't help but be turned on!" He's so weird. Everyone seems to get a kick out of this or, like me, is uncomfortable and laughing to drown out the screams in their heads.
Heidi asks Malan how things have been for him. They've been going very well. Tim even points out that Malan showed at Fashion Week. Did Malan never have eyes? I don't remember him being so laugh-y eyed. Anyway, good for him and his Fashion Week show. That's pretty remarkable. Everybody agrees and applauds Malan.
, the same question is posed to Angela, who answers, "Wow." That's not really an answer to that question, but I'm honestly not surprised about that. Essentially, Angela had planned to answer whatever question was asked her with a story about how people felt sorry for her because Jeffrey was shitty to her mom. She says that she can't "walk down the streets of L.A. without being mobbed." So much for off the grid in Ohio, huh? That was fast. But she says she's loving every second of her notoriety and that seems pretty sincere. Still, she's just kind of annoying, isn't she? She always says the clunky thing and in general is just kind of embarrassing. I wish the shit hadn't gone down with her mom so I could hate her unfettered. ["You're a better man than I." -- Sars]
Heidi is ready to bring out the final four designers, but first she would like to know which of the eliminated designers they thought would have made it to the end. Katie says Alison. She thinks that she has a unique point of view that would be popular with a lot of women. Fat Minnie Mice everywhere agree. Vincent says that he thought Kayne of Many Colors would have made it. He feels that his presentation is terrific and his product is unique and he's going to do very well. I'm actually a little bit shocked by that. I don't think we witnessed his admiration for KoMC's work during the season, but Vincent looks like he feels very strongly about what he just said. Nice little surprise. Love is all around us.
Stacey says that she thought Robert would have made it. He laughs and says that he thought he was going to make it too and was shocked when he was auf'd. I've missed Robert.
OK, Heidi's ready to get down to business. She introduces "Fraulein Uli Herzner." In German, that means "Fraulein Uli Herzner." Uli enters from behind the Project Runway scrim and greets everyone. I hardly recognize her, as she is wearing an uncharacteristic flowy print blouse. , Tim says it's the youngest designer in the final four, Michael Knight. Michael gets a hoot or two from the designers as he enters. It looks like he has gotten braces. Good for him.
Heidi introduces Jeffrey as "outspoken" and "colorful." Tim, sounding as off-the-cuff as TEX, the automated registration system at the University of Texas at Austin ("Goodbye and... good luck"), introduces Laura as someone who makes a statement with her personal style and with her "unsparing choice of words." Laura enters. She's very pregnant. Girl looks good, though.
I'm just going to transcribe the following interaction, because... it's funny and I want to.
Heidi: Wow.
Laura: What are you talking about?
Heidi: You grew bigger since the last time I saw you.
Laura: You grew bigger too.
Heidi: You look great.
Laura: You do too.
There's just something enjoyable about that. Heidi hasn't really talked about this, her third pregnancy this month. She's like this big golden fertile goddess.
First, we're going to hear from viewers who wrote in questions at the Bravo website. Someone from Irvine, California wants to know if Laura owns a pair of jeans. Damn, that's a good question. Laura says that riding pants and boots are her version of jeans. Laura is hardcore.
Heidi tells Tim that she has never seen him in a pair of jeans and he's all, "I do have jeans!" Heidi thinks that Tim always looks like James Bond, and he thanks her. And by the way, whatever happened to that gay James Bond movie with Rupert Everett that was in development for like the last ten years? I was kind of looking forward to that. I guess plain old James Bond is gay enough these days. Anyway, Tim thanks Heidi for the James Bond comparison but assures her that he owns jeans. All of the designers are politely laughing at everything and it's a little weird and I don't know why. They look like Scientologists... WHICH ISN'T NECESSARILY A BAD THING (please don't kill me Kirstie Alley).
Tim reminds everyone that there are four finalists instead of three, and they screen a clip of the final runway judging. We see the designers reacting to the footage and they all have fairly bland smiles on their faces. Alison does a little tomahawk move to the score, which I appreciate. After it's over, KoMC gives a weak "yay" and leads all of the designers in applauding the finalists.
Heidi asks them how they felt during the judging and Michael says that he's still sweating watching it. He was very nervous. They were all, including Tim, surprised that four were passed through to Fashion Week. Tim asks the other designers how they feel about that development and Bonnie says that she was glad "they were nice for once." I'm assuming she means the producers and judges -- she can't be talking about the designers, because she would be including Jeffrey. You could maybe say he wasn't the devil. I don't think you could get away with calling him "nice." KoMC thinks that the final four is "perfect." Jeffrey says that it "could have been any four and it would have been interesting." Hmm, that's funny, because I could have sworn he's been saying that everyone but him sucks since the very first fucking episode. I should have my memory checked. Of course, three sucky designers and him wouldn't preclude a finale being "interesting."
Heidi says that there was one person who, at the beginning of the season, they thought would make it to the finals. Oh my God, I knew Daniel Franco had to be in this season. Somewhere! It wouldn't be Project Runway without him. Wait a second, Heidi says the person in question was disqualified. Keith Michael. Eh, Daniel Franco, Keith Michael -- what's the difference? Keith is there, and Heidi introduces him.
Keith enters to polite applause. Alison is beaming at him. He sits beside her. Heidi asks him how he's doing and he's fine and has a really forced smile on his face. Heidi reminds him that he thought he would be a laughingstock to all of his friends and she asks if that has been the case. No, Keith underestimated his friends. Alison gives his shoulder a squeeze. They were never going to laugh in his face. Who does that? I bet at least a few of his friends are laughing at home right now, though. Keith is cute -- strong chin -- but I wish he wouldn't talk.
Tim says that the episode in which Keith was eliminated has been one of the most talked about in the series' history. They air clips of the whole Keith saga. We watch the designers watching the clips, but no one does anything interesting. Alison wipes her nose and I think we're supposed to imagine that she's crying. I think it's more likely that she's got some Lindsay Lohan party powder.
After the clips, Heidi asks everyone if they thought Keith's elimination was fair. Robert says that he thinks it was indeed fair. Heidi reminds Alison that she was upset when Keith was eliminated, and she says that he was one of the designers that she "related to the most."
Kayne of Many Colors says that he was sorry Keith was disqualified, but they all signed a contract stating what they could and couldn't bring to the show. They couldn't even have magazines. That seems a little strict. How am I supposed to function without my subscription to Popular Winning Project Runway Weekly? I wouldn't want to live in a world without it, is all I'm saying.
Tim asks Keith if he thinks the outcome was fair, and he says that we can see in face and eyes that he's upset. ["Which we couldn't, really, because he's a sociopath, but okay, Keith." -- Sars] And no, he doesn't think it was fair. Uh, Keith says that it wasn't in the contract that you couldn't bring books, which gets an immediate smackdown from the other designers, including Stacey Estrella, a lawyer. Of course, if her lawyering skills are anything like her designing, what the fuck does she know? She adds that looking at a pattern in a book, even if it isn't copied, gives a designer an edge because of its suggestions. That tactic isn't working, so Keith says that he gave the producers the books when he arrived at the show. Then, later, they were placed back in his room. Everyone is silent and Keith says, "Uncomfortable, isn't it?" Wrong "un-." I was thinking "unbelievable."
Tim says the producers don't play "hanky-panky." Keith, more insistent and starting to sweat, says that "somehow" the books were returned to his room. Tim ain't having it. He says he has worked with those producers for three years and. when they are not building homes for tsunami victims and giving orphans piggyback rides, they are producing Project Runway with integrity. But Keith says that he is not saying anybody did anything -- he's just saying the books showed up.
Heidi asks Jeffrey what he thinks and he says that Keith handled the situation poorly. He shouldn't have left the set. Heidi asks Keith where he went. So, he talks about how everyone was mad at him and whispering about him the day he left the set, like that was the reason he had to leave. Heidi, in her most triumphant moment yet on this whole show, asks him if he thinks that it would have been smarter to stick around. She compares it to being in a car accident; you don't leave the scene if you think you're innocent. Heidi Matlock, that's what I'm gonna start calling her. And Keith forever looks like a total fucking idiot with this bit. So, he was uncomfortable on the set. He goes to a PRODUCTION ASSISTANT and tells her that he wants to leave. And "she points to the door." So, he left. That's four million hot-ass degrees of ignoramus. First of all, I'm not trying to knock anyone's importance here, but production assistants are seriously a fucking dime a dozen. I mean, for a big studio movie they might be paid a decent salary, but they are still the bottom of the totem pole. One level of craft services above an extra. And on a basic cable TV show? The PAs are probably like barely paid interns! So, that's where Keith Michael is placing the blame for the misunderstanding with his early exit? Well, he and the PA can fight it out at the restaurant where they're both probably waiting tables nights. Second, she didn't give you permission. She pointed at a door. Laura totally rolls her eyes at Keith's stupid fucking story. You roll your eyes for all of us, Laura.
Heidi's not done. She doesn't even believe that the PA said that. Uli says that they couldn't even go to the bathroom without someone following them. And they weren't allowed to make phone calls without someone monitoring them. Keith, in what I would consider a masterstroke of passive-aggression if he hadn't already irrevocably fucked everything all to hell, says, "Regardless, you're just asking me what the story is. That's the story. I'm not gonna just roll over like a puppy." Apparently, Tim said that about Keith's reaction to being kicked off. Tim, who is not afraid, says that he had expected Keith to put up a fight when he was told that he was disqualified, but instead he rolled over, much like a puppy. Then Tim says that they need to move on. And Keith, with much delusion, thinking he's getting the last word, says, "Okay, I thought so." Yeah, Keith. Take your fucking lumps, cheater.
Heidi shows a series of clips where Tim Gunn uses big words. Okay, I didn't know "faux bois" meant "fake wood." "Sturm and Drang" is an old opera term. Thanks, Music History! Sorry for talking so much in class. I love it when Tim says "caucus." Several of the designers look like they're going to fall down because they heard a big word. Dear God.
Heidi reads a website question for Tim. Does he design clothing? Another good question. Go Jen in Portland! No, Tim does not design. He is a "Design Educator." He does, however, sculpt. Anyone else hearing "Unchained Melody"?
Tim introduces clips of several of the designers repeating their own little catchphrases. Laura called things "serious ugly" a whole bunch. Robert called himself boring over and over again. It was pretty funny for the most part. Vincent, of course, is shown saying that everything turns him on. Yeah, I don't really need to hear that. They show my boy Bradley making weird noises that are captioned as "?????" I love you, Bradley.
Heidi asks the designers how they like working with Tim, and Uli says that he was like a father, and even if she lives to be ninety-five, she will always remember Tim. That's sweet. Heidi says that Vincent said in an interview that he wouldn't "bow down" to Tim, and now Tim is "bad-mouthing" him. Vincent says that he has been hearing that Tim was talking shit about him in "blog spots." Welcome to the '90s, Vincent. Tim says that, on his blog, he would only talk about Vincent's designs. I don't know if that's entirely true. I think it's pretty common knowledge that Tim didn't really care for Vincent. Heidi continues the grill. In the same interview, Vincent said that he was the only real designer and all of the others were amateurs. Michael says that if he's an amateur, so is Vincent. I find this kind of stupid. Isn't Vincent an easy target? Why can't we talk about Jeffrey?
Vincent says some mumbo-jumbo about what "amateur" means and Tim interrupts him to ask Laura what she thinks. She thinks Vincent is delusional, which gets a laugh from the designers, and to which Vincent responds, "You said that already." She says that she thinks it's great that Vincent likes his own work, but she doesn't agree with his classification for who's an amateur. Then he repeats that there's a "prerequisite" for not being an amateur. Hey, Vincent -- you don't have to join the fucking Freemasons to be a professional designer. What the hell are you talking about? Uli jumps in and asks why he isn't a hugely successful designer, then, if the rest of them are all amateurs. Robert adds that amateurish behavior is "dogging other people's work." But Vincent doesn't think that he's being negative. "It takes a certain level to be at a certain level of design." Which would be fine if he didn't create heaping piles of shit for most of the challenges. Anyway, Tim giggles and says he doesn't know what Vincent means. Everyone agrees with Tim.
Tim shows some clips of Kayne of Many Colors talking really quickly. They show a word count of him talking to Tara Conner, Miss USA. It was 932 to 7. Afterwards, he says he wanted to tell himself to shut up. Then KoMC takes us into commercials. Quickly.
Tim says that he is often asked about Malan. Malan says he has gotten two million emails. Damn, that's unbelievable. He says that he didn't get a lot of support from his family after the show. Heidi asks why, and he thinks it's because of fears that they had when he was young of being gay. They were so afraid that he would be something socially unacceptable that they never took the opportunity to nurture him. That's really sad. So, they aren't afraid that he's gay now? He's a fashion designer! It doesn't get gayer than that. Just kidding, Malan. But, really, go throw a football around or something. Tim reads a question from the website. Where is Malan's accent from? He lived in Taiwan, Hong Kong, Australia, and the U.S. Otherwise, it's totally made up. Then Malan laughs, and it's crazy. Heidi makes fun of his laugh, then shows a clip show of Malan laughing and all of the designers making fun of it.
Tim asks the designers what challenge they liked the most. Alison says the dog challenge, because "animals make [her] happy."
So, what was the hardest challenge? They all think the mom challenge was the hardest. Robert explains that designing for a plus-size woman was out of his skill set. As well, you're working with someone's mother and "except for some people, you don't want to make them cry." By the way, he meant Jeffrey. At least, he pointed at him with both hands.
They look at a clip of Jeffrey being a total buttmunch to Angela's mother. Jeffrey looks a little embarrassed watching the clip. Afterwards, Jeffrey says he doesn't feel any differently about the way things happened. Angela says that she doesn't know what to say. Jeffrey does say that he didn't intend to make Darlene cry, which I frankly find at least a little comforting, big jackass that he still is. He says that what bothered him was that Darlene never said anything about not liking the dress to him, so he assumes that she was just going to talk shit about him on the runway. Angela says that his assumption is a reflection of his character, not her mother's. Not a bad comeback. Robert says that Jeffrey shouldn't have spoken to Darlene the way he did, and he thinks Jeffrey knows that. Jeffrey kind of shrugs at that, but doesn't say anything. Robert adds that you wouldn't speak to any client the way that Jeffrey did to Darlene. Laura then says that Darlene was more invested in the outcome of the design than the other mothers were and that made it harder for Jeffrey. What the -- whose side are you on here, Laura?
Tim asks Jeffrey what he would have done if a designer had been having similar problems with his own mother. He says he would have walked over and tried to diffuse the situation. Tim asks Jeffrey if he apologized to Darlene, and he says he didn't have the opportunity. Angela says that's not true -- the morning of the runway show, she asked Jeffrey to apologize to her mom and he refused. Jeffrey replies that he was stressed out. Whatever, bitch. ["And why couldn't he have just done it there and then, at the reunion? Just suck it up, dude." -- Sars] Angela says that it was unfortunate that her mom got thrown into it. Good. Done. Way to finally stand up for your old lady, Angie. Oh, she's not done. Then she tells Jeffrey that they would have probably been friends under other circumstances and he has a look on his face like, "On no fucking planet would that ever happen."
Tim shows some unseen footage. It's apparently scary. Vincent's ranting about his clothes being laundered instead of dry-cleaned. Michael and KoMC are outside talking about how crazy Vincent is. It goes on for a while. Lots of cursing. You know, he's crazy and all, but if they fucked up his clothes -- I hope they fixed it. For some reason, I don't find that clip shocking. The poll this week is "Who's the biggest drama queen or king?" Angela, Jeffrey, Keith, or Vincent. I love how they put "king" to protect anyone's delicate gender-assignment sensibilities.
Heidi has "two special guests," but first we hear who the fan favorite is. It's Michael Knight. Everyone seems happy for him. Michael Kors and Nina Garcia bring out a giant check for $10,000. Laura calls it a "big, obnoxious poster check." Michael says very graciously that he appreciates it.
Heidi explains the scoring of the runway show. Everyone gets a one through five, with five being the highest. Nothing too scientific. Nina tries to judge based on what the challenge is. Michael says that he doesn't design based on someone's entire body of work. They open the floor for questions.
Angela asks if they would have responded differently to her dog challenge design if she hadn't had such a ridiculous story. They laugh at her and say no, which I find a little disingenuous. It was a horrible outfit, but it was worse for being so inappropriate for her challenge. Another story could only have helped. I think it should have been a trapeze artist who just got invited to a ball.
KoMC asks if he would have gotten a better response if his couture dress had been in a different color, because he has gotten a lot of good response for that dress. Michael essentially tells him that some people just like trash, so that would explain people liking that dress.
Tim asks Alison how she felt about her elimination. She liked her outfit before it was on the model. Michael Kors tells her that she should have been able to stand back and make adjustments, once she realized that her model was so portly.
Laura asks them if they feel like they made any mistakes in judging. Michael's quick with a "No." He has time to let it sink in, so he has no regrets. Then Heidi shows a clip of a fire alarm going off in the middle of a runway judging. Zac Posen is NOT pleased.
Then there's the weirdest sequence of models fainting. Amanda apparently swooned every time she was in the bottom three. "You have that a lot," says Heidi to Amanda during one of her spells. "Why do you have that a lot?" she whispers. That's funny.
And, uh, ew. There's a clip of Jeffrey farting. They're backstage, so you just hear it. Vincent's all, "Who did that?" And Jeffrey says, "It's my work." I'd agree that it's quite similar to a lot of his work. But who thought we would hear juicy farting on a fucking fashion reality show. I want to vomit. Jeffrey at least seems a little embarrassed.
America finds Vincent to be the biggest drama queen or king. With ANGELA in second. Keith? No, he's third. Man, Angela has not rubbed America the right way. We are a genie that will remain in the bottle.
The four finalists are gone, and Heidi asks for predictions. Bonnie says Uli, Robert says Laura, Katie says Michael, Alison says Jeffrey and Michael, KoMC says Michael and Laura, Keith thinks Jeffrey is the most innovative but he likes Uli too, Angela says some shit about whoever responds best to pressure, and Vincent doesn't know who's going to win.
, we see a clip of designers from seasons. Jay thinks Michael's going to win because he was the gay white one, Chloe was the Asian immigrant, and so they have to go with the black guy now? Oh, Jay, you are so damn edgy. It just won't stop. Chloe wants Michael to win. Kara Janx likes Uli, and so does cutie Daniel Vosovic. Daniel Franco thinks Laura is the winner. ... Robert Plotkin, what a blast from the past. Damn, he's looking good. He thinks that Daniel Franco's going to win. That's funny.
Heidi thanks everyone and says "auf wiedersehen" to the camera. Does that mean we've been auf'd?