Episode Report Card Sobell: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's All Over But the Monologuing
By Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.15.2009
e: we do see the hand of "Paul" wearing an academy ring like our beloved barracuda.We hurtle back east to Miami, where General Von Baldy is hustling off to go get Scylla. We then zip over to Michael, who also has a Scylla case.
Oh, lord, more of T-Bag yammering on at Dr. Sara, and I have no patience for this whatsoever. The scene finally reaches its main point when T-Bag admits, "I was thinking, the way I would get my revenge was I was finally going to get to kill him. Just driving that knife right into his bleeding heart. And now, standing here, looking at you, I'm thinking there's something worse than death for him ... I'll return you in one piece, but that piece is gonna be a little used, that's all. And every time he looks at you, every time he wants to be with you, he's going to see me." We cut to Dr. Sara, who is supposed to be looking disgusted and frightened, but appears instead to be thinking, Yes, yes, T-Bag wants to be acknowledged as Michael's professional, social and intellectual equal, and if he has to Single White Female his way to that conclusion, he will. CONSIDER THE POINT GOTTEN. Your work here is done, whomever was nurturing the T-Bag tragedy arc.
We then find out that Michael merely ... left a case in the parking lot, and he is, in fact, busy back at the building where the loft is. How busy? He's attempting to rappel up it without attracting the attention of the conspiracy stooges stationed at the front door. Sadly for Michael, it would appear that spending seven months in prison or on the run, getting a few toes lopped off, enduring full-body dermabrasion, getting radical experimental brain surgery and escaping during the post-op attempt to brainwash you, then flinging yourself out of a moving truck post-abduction attempt do not give you the upper-body strength you'll need to do the job without looking silly.
Speaking of silly-looking things, it's Don Self calling Michael yet again and leaving an awkward-sounding voicemail. The agents are impatient, and as they leave per a doctor's request, Don Self calls. "He's going to call back. Just be patient, okay?" And then the doctor monkeys with one of Don Self's IVs and we see -- it's Slick! And he appears to have poisoned Don Self, or fed him some chemical that turns him into even more of a drooling vegetable than usual.
And now, even more of T-Bag droning on and on and on and on and ... you get the picture. He handcuffs Dr Sara spread-eagle to the patio door, and while he's carrying on about how he's feeling pretty good about his pending rape, Dr. Sara is trying to wiggle loose the handle of the door. She distracts T-Bag by smirking, and says, "While you and the other cons were taking care of yourselves, [Nurse Gossipson] and I were going over your medical records trying to figure out how to best manage your care, figure out what makes you tick. The thing I remember about you, Theodore? Nothing makes you tick. You can't ... tick. The reason you rape and kill and make pain is you can't make love. You've got neurologic [erectile dysfunction], probably caused by injuries you sustained during your own childhood sexual abuse." T-Bag insists, childlike, that she's lying. Dr. Sara spits out contemptuously, "Talk about what you're going to do to me all you want, Theodore. You and I both know there is very little you can actually do." Her expression is completely contemptuous. T-Bag is really shaken, and he insists, like a child, "You are going to take back every word you just said. You hear me? You hear me!" Dr. Sara coolly tells him, "There's no reason to be ashamed of it, Teddy. So many men suffer from --" "SHUT UP!" T-Bag roars, right as Dr. Sara rips free the handle and attempts to attack T-Bag with it. However, she's overmatched by his pure shame and rage, and she's still handcuffed to another door handle, so he quickly subdues her and tries to regain the upper hand: "I don't know what is more insulting: you thinking I'm erectorially challenged, or you thinking I'm going to let you break out of here. Hmm -- let me think about that. I'm going to go with the first one. Now, I'm going to show just how functional I -- [thud]." And with that, he goes down, courtesy of Michael whacking him in the back of the head with a crowbar. Michael raises his arm to deliver another killing blow and Dr. Sara whimpers, "Michael, please." She does not add, "Please use this sledgehammer; it'll provide the killer torque your noodle-like arms lack" or "Please use this gun so we have solid proof T-Bag's brains are on the floor." Indeed, neither she nor Michael think it's a good idea to just finish off the abusive, torturing rapist-murderer who has so bedeviled them. I do not get it. Michael was willing to kill Sammy for a lot less. Dr. Sara dropped Agent Kim in a heartbeat. But T-Bag, whose trail of collateral damage they are more personally acquainted with, whose vendetta they are assured of? Oh, waaaah, let's not kill him! Idiot wuss move, you two. Let's hope the kid gets some of Aldo and Christina's ruthlessness. Maybe it skips a generation.
Mahone meets up with Christina outside her office building, and she bids him to show her. We see Scylla -- or part of it, anyway -- and she asks him to come inside, as "We have a lot to talk about." Mahone, however, requires proof that Pam is safe. Christina smoothly tells him, "We have an asset located in the [One World Conspiracy] room who is able to access her location and the position of her bird-dog." Mahone says, "That's great. That's not good enough -- I need to know she's still in the clear." Christina demands Scylla, and Mahone points out that he's actually far more motivated by the fear of the General, so please to move Pam out of danger. Christina's not having it, so Mahone hands over the case with a stony glare.
Michael and Dr. Sara repair to his lair, where he shows her the guts of Scylla. "You've been busy," she observes. "Where's the rest of it?" We go to ...
... Christina's office, where Mahone demands, "I've kept my end of the deal. You keep yours -- make the call, and Lincoln and I will be on our way." Again, Christina's not having it. So she throws Mahone into the room where she's keeping Linc. The bleeding beefcake asks Mahone what he's doing there, and Mahone replies, "Saving your ass." So we zip to ...
... Michael, who is whispering to Dr. Sara, "I couldn't make a choice. I had to save you both." We flash back to the Mind Mates' departure scene, and then, as Mahone's leaving, Michael calls out, "Alex, there may be a way we can save everyone." Then we quick cut/flash back to Michael saying, "The bad news is, my mother can read my every move. She says it's because she knows me. The good news is, she doesn't know you." In the present, Michael is telling Dr. Sara, "I knew the General would never honor his end of the arrangement ... so I did what I had to do." And what Michael had to do was turn the Scylla-case that Mahone is carrying into a bomb that is "big enough to end all this." Michael continues, "So we can start something new. I mean, if that's what you're feeling." If this is Michael's idea of offering to make Dr. Sara an honest woman, it blows. But Dr. Sara's okay with it, so that's all that matters.