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We learn that Michael rigged Mahone's Scylla model so that it was supposed to explode once his mother got a hold of it. But that bomb fails until Mahone triggers it, so by the middle of the finale, Michael is 0-for-2 on bombs that are supposed to blow up his mom. Good thing he went to jail for armed robbery instead! Anyway, Linc and Mahone manage to escape after the blast, and they meet up with Dr. Sara and Michael.
BUT I am merely stalling to whet your appetite for the good stuff. Sucre and C-Note come back! And they come riding to Michael's rescue! WITH KELLERMAN! (Quoth Mr. Sobell, "I have never seen you light up like that for any man." Also, I believe my delighted squeals were responsible for several local dogs howling in agony.) Kellerman's working with Aldo's old buddies, and he's arranged for the U.N. to have Scylla since no one country should have that much power.
So. Michael has Linc again -- and the poor guy needs medical care. There is an attempted caper at a hospital, but Mahone gets arrested by the agents who are babysitting Don Self. That's the only win those agents get. While Don Self manages to survive his chemically-induced heart attack, he tells the agents to kiss his ass in terms of giving them help. So their incentive to get him any medical care is gone.
And while that is going on, the receding-hair henchman convinces Dr. Sara and Michael that perhaps they should head back to the condo, where General Von Baldy makes more dire threats and it's all very repetitive until Sucre and C-Note drop in all ninja-like, exhibit heretofore unseen marksmanship, and rescue the non-bad guys.
Then Michael is planning to kill General Von Baldy, but Dr. Sara and Sucre manage to talk him out of it, because they're convinced that Kellerman has the power to clear everyone's names. As they're all leaving the condo, Sucre nobly sacrifices himself to be arrested by local law enforcement so everyone else can escape. Michael is appropriately agonized. What an emotional rollercoaster he's on!
Especially since his mom shows up at Michael's secret hideout, guns a-blazing. Christina grabs Scylla from the kitchen cabinet where it's been hiding. And then she correctly pegs Michael as someone who is completely incapable of killing anyone when they need killing. But -- ha ha HA -- while Christina is busy taunting Michael, Dr. Sara manages to sneak up behind him and drop her future mother-in-law. This is the second person that she's killed for Michael. It's turning into a habit between these two.
Dr. Sara then ushers Michael out the door to drop off Scylla with Kellerman. Naturally, he gets abducted by two gun-wielding flunkies. Except -- ha ha HA! -- they are Kellerman's gun-wielding thugs. And Deus Ex Kellerman tells Michael everyone has been exonerated. Hooray! It's a happy ending for everyone.
And indeed, here is how it all ends: General Von Baldy is arrested, presumably for war crimes. Michael, Linc, Dr. Sara, Sucre, C-Note and Mahone all get to sign magical get-out-of-jail-free agreements. Then they vote on T-Bag's fate: he gets to go back to prison. But he gets gum!
Then Michael and Dr. Sara are walking on the beach and he tells her, "I want you to know, I will totally be a hands-on dad." And it's really adorable, right up to the moment his nose begins bleeding again. Stupid One World Conspiracy doctors and their inability to remove tumors right the first time!
Four years later ... Mahone mails Pam a birthday card, because we see he's moved on to Lang. The man has great taste. Linc has a surf shop in Panama, and he's happily settled down in Panama. Sucre's an adoring hands-on daddy. Don Self is a vegetable. Also, something appears to have happened to his mental acuity. C-Note is now gainfully employed as a UPS deliveryman. Kellerman has become a congressman -- you just know when the CIA comes to brief them on waterboarding, he'll tell them how to do it better. General Von Baldy's getting the chair, and dying with no dignity whatsoever. T-Bag's in Fox River, terrorizing inmates who are talking about the captivity of negativity. And we see that Dr. Sara's a radiant single mother; she and Michael had a son, who is also named Michael.
Then we see that Sucre, Linc, Mahone and Dr. Sara have met up at Michael's beachside grave in what I assume to be Panama. Linc then makes me a little teary by placing a white origami swan atop Michael's tombstone. Then everyone walks off into the sunset one by one, and we read the stone: Michael J. Scofield, 10/8/1974 - 11/4/2005. Husband, Father, Brother, Uncle, Friend. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!So the episode starts with Michael and Dr. Sara merrily burning off an entire Triassic age's worth of fossils in their SUV as they sigh over how happy they are. Michael promises, "Some day, weeks will go by -- maybe even years -- when it won't even cross our minds." Dr. Sara adds, "We'll come home and talk about work. And what we want for dinner. Movies --" "Nursery schools," Michael interjects. Dr. Sara is like, That's right -- I AM pregnant! and she gets a look of bug-eyed panic for a moment before remembering that assembling the crib will be no problem thanks to Michael's supergenius spatial skills. The upshot of this scene is they're both really looking forward to family life.
Then Mahone calls, all panicky, and Michael tells him he'll just have to trigger the detonator manually. Mahone swallows his panic and manages Christina's temper tantrum while also managing to launch the bomb. He really is cool under pressure when he's focused. Christina eventually concludes that Mahone's lying about Scylla and orders Slick to "kill the junkie." Unfortunately, she doesn't know that Mahone's had the same One World Conspiracy combat training Slick has. Within seconds, Mahone has armed the bomb, kicked both evildoers to the ground and taken shelter with Linc. And the bomb goes boom.
As does General Von Baldy's temper when he comes back to the loft, and discovers Dr. Sara gone. He's revived T-Bag for the express purpose of berating him, then prepares to kill him. But first, an employee evaluation: "Men in my employ anticipate. They cover their bases. They refuse to fail, which you seem to be with unyielding consistency --" And we are all saved by the bell. It's Dr. Sara's phone. T-Bag answers and Sucre confusedly asks, "Who the hell is this?" Where are his phone manners?
Well, they're not in Miami, which is where C-Note and Sucre happen to be now. T-Bag spins a yarn about how Michael, Dr. Sara and Linc are all being held hostage by evil mastermind Christina Scofield, and if C-Note and Sucre meet him in a certain park at a certain time, he will give them the whole sad story: "We should get together and pool our resources." T-Bag manages to bargain for his life by pointing out, "I do have a sit-down with Scofield's friends in an hour. You got no better hand, General."
Michael and Dr. Sara have just swung by Christina's office to behold the carnage. They also pick up Linc -- who, even with his collapsed lung, manages to insist, "No hospitals! Hospitals mean jail!" -- and Mahone. The latter is pretty sure that bomb took out Christina and Slick. However, Christina had pulled Slick on top of her in the face of the blast, so we see now that her fingers are twitching. OF COURSE.
T-Bag is now at the park, his One World Conspiracy back-up stooge sitting a discreet distance away, and he hails Sucre with, "You are a sight for sore eyes, my friend." Sucre cuts him off with "Can the reunion. Where can I find Michael and Lincoln?" T-Bag drawls, "Admittedly, they're in dire straits." Sucre asks incredulously, "Are you deaf?" and T-Bag lets his hubris wreck his advantage for the second time in a day with, "Unlikely, amigo -- I just heard the dime drop on your sorry ass. From the bench over my left shoulder? The gentleman in the Wayfarers? Just like in Fox River: you never thought things through. Now are you gonna name the friend who said he'd show up and help out the brothers?" Sucre calmly says, "No. You're gonna hand over Sara's phone, or I'll break your face." T-Bag crows, "You accuse me of being deaf, but you're the one who's going blind, Puerto Rican. The man's a [One World Conspiracy] operative trained assassin." Sucre cocks a skeptical eyebrow and we see that in the time it took T-Bag to get that feeble insult out, someone has either put the man under with the Vulcan nerve pinch or rabbit-chopped his neck. And now C-Note's got a gun in T-Bag's back; he says hello with, "What's up, Jetho?" T-Bag does not ask why discriminating against poor, uncultured and predominately rural Caucasians is apparently America's last acceptable prejudice. Sucre tells him, "We're a long way from Fox River, T-Bag. Let's go." And C-Note calls Paul to tell him they've now got Tancredi's phone.
Just in case you were excited about this forward momentum on the plot, hold on: the show has thoughtfully provided you a break in the form of finding out that Don Self did not, as one previously hoped, die. He is being labored over by a team of medical professionals while the two most competent federal agents ever to appear on this show have managed to assemble and digest a complete roster on Team Scylla. "Self was into something nasty," they conclude. Really? Don Self indicates via finger waggling that he can hear Agent Franco's questioning, so Franco barks at the medical team that Don Self isn't going anywhere. (I find this odd only because when I was in the hospital last month, one of the first things the nurses had me do after I came out of my brain surgery and shook off the anesthesia was to walk up and down the corridors, so they could see how well I was recovering. And as I slowly sauntered back and forth I passed a hospital room in which a patient was handcuffed to the bed while one officer stood guard on the door and the other hung out at the bed while the doctors and nurses did their jobs. So I'm thinking the whole law enforcement/medical treatment thing is not so much the either/or situation depicted here.
Back at Michael's lair, everyone is sort of like, "Holy crap! We've blown up Christina and Linc's still got a collapsed lung and oh my gosh, Michael, whatsoever shall we do with Scylla?" Michael's like, "What the hell -- let's destroy Scylla." Linc is like, "Sold! WHEEEZE." Just before Michael smashes it to Kingdom Come, his phone rings. We hear the coolly amused tones of the awesome Paul Kellerman saying, "Hello, Michael. You're a tough man to get a hold of." Michael and I both exclaim, "Kellerman!" Now guess which one of us is spitting venom and which one of us is cooing happily.
Michael rasps, "I heard you were dead," to which Kellerman blithely replies, "Those rumors were greatly exaggerated. I was freed by a group working against the [One World Conspiracy], the same group your father founded." Michael pissily, albeit correctly, points out that he really could have used a hand from the group. Kellerman shrugs all, Bad timing, eh? and asks if Michael has Scylla. If Michael does -- which Kellerman is willing to bet on -- there is a U.N. attaché in Miami who would be happy to take Scylla off Michael's hands. Well, this is a development that will certainly confuse apocalypse-minded wingnuts, as they're used to thinking of the United Nations as being proof of the One World Conspiracy, not being the enemy of said vast and amoral global cabal. Michael asks, "Why should I trust a word that's coming out of your mouth?" and Kellerman says, "I assume you know that what you have can -- and this is no exaggeration -- change the world for the better. All you have to do is deliver it. And you don't have to trust me. Just trust the people that work at the United Nations." He hangs up -- or is hung up upon -- and looks reflective. Is he wondering when he turned into such a people-loving peacenik? Because that's what I'm wondering.
Michael comments, "The phone died" right as Lincoln coughs up a gusher of blood. "He's not getting any better," Mahone says. Look, there are those keen observational skills that helped make him a superstar at the FBI! Dr. Sara's like, "Right. Let's go knock over a hospital so I can get some doctorin' supplies."
We cut to C-Note and Sucre, who already have a Miami safe house that will be just perfect for torturing T-Bag. And after getting the season four backstory from Kellerman via his still-working phone, C-Note is in the mood to visit unto T-Bag a new world of hurt. Sucre plays good cop, though, telling T-Bag that if he gives up the General's location, he can help put T-Bag's name on an immunity list. Despite being tied up and facing a certain beatdown from C-Note, T-Bag refuses: "From where I'm sitting, albeit momentarily compromised, you're backing the wrong horse. Scofield cannot pull this out. You help me get him to the General and we are set for life!" C-Note's all, "I don't have time for this," and the crunchy beatdown commences.
We cut to the General, who is getting an update from the ever-loyal Receding Hairline Goon on how T-Bag has probably been captured, as there is no way his minder goon would have let him escape. The General muses, "So we're exposed here. Is this the end? Whimpering?" Receding Hairline Goon says, "There's no shame in retreating to regroup, sir." Translation: I will love you forever and ever, amen. Do you like Randy Travis songs? Because that's how I feel every time I look at your face, even the flambéed side. The General is not receptive to his subtle message. Aaaand, it turns out that the One World Conspiracy just locked on to Linc's cell phone in a location downtown.
Michael and Linc are sitting outside the hospital having a chat/wheeze over whether or not to trust Kellerman and turn over Scylla. Linc points out that the whole point was to be free, and if this is what does it, then he's for it. Michael's clearly thinking it over, and Linc says, "If you have to leave, Michael, you should." Michael sets him straight: "I'm not leaving you, Linc. You're my brother." Linc says, "Not according to Christina." "Don't let her mess with your head ... it doesn't matter what she said. It doesn't change anything. You are stuck with me whether you like it or not," Michael says. Awww! I am going to assume the brothers are so overwhelmed by emotion, they can't stand to look at each other.
Inside that very same hospital, the FBI agents are debating the ethics of treating Don Self promptly versus withholding treatment until they get what they want from him. Don Self more or less settles the debate for them when, instead of writing down anything useful on the little notepad he's been given, he scribbles, "Kiss my ass." I could almost pity Don Self, as even before this accident, he was not what we like to call a strong long-term thinker, and his bullheaded stupidity now has really done him in this time.
Unfortunately for Mahone and Dr. Sara, they end up nearly running into two pissed-off FBI agents who a) have just reviewed dossiers on Team Scylla and b) are looking for a consolation prize since Don Self will soon be sporting a bucket of tapioca where his brain used to be. Dr. Sara manages to boost some medical supplies and head out undetected, but Mahone is arrested in a freakishly short interval.
Dr. Sara heads out to the car, breaks the news about Mahone's arrest, and Michael's sense of obligation pushes him to make his decision: "If we give Scylla to Kellerman, Mahone gets exonerated. He's fine. He's fine." Yes, but Lincoln is not; his lung is currently filled with fluid, which is a problem for anyone who's not equipped with gills. Dr. Sara does some doctoring, and that distracts Michael from noticing the two One World Conspiracy goons who just snuck up on the SUV and busted out the passenger windows. Receding Hairline Goon cheerily asks, "Mind if I drive."
Oooh, the suspense! Exacerbated because we go to a truly funky shot of T-Bag being suspended upside down. All the blood is apparently rushing to his head, as C-Note is busy telling him, "In two minutes, your eyeballs are going to pop out of your head. Now, that's worse than death." T-Bag gasps out, "I can't betray. My destiny is to be a respected gentleman." Then he begins screaming in pain, frustration and heartbreak. Perhaps the blood finally overwhelmed that part of his brain reserved for obsessing on Scofield and it's occurred to T-Bag that really, the cards have been stacked against him from birth and his bad decisions never really made matters any better. And while we're here, let me note: I love how the writers have delicately constructed and spooled out this most secret and impossible aspiration of T-Bag's over all four seasons. I have very little love for most of T-Bag's hijinks, but I have thoroughly enjoyed how his collision with Michael brought all his inchoate desires for legitimacy and respect into sharp and painful yearning. It's the real tragedy of T-Bag: that he so completely lacks the personal traits necessary to realize his aspirations, and he is actually aware of all that he's missing.
Moving on: Michael, Linc and Dr. Sara are back at the loft and we learn that General Von Baldy is prone to bad judgment -- like, T-Bag-level bad judgment -- by gassing on and on about how thoroughly he's beaten them instead of just killing everyone and moving on to the "cleaning up the mess Christina made" portion of events.
We cut to the FBI agents attempting to interrogate Mahone and coming to all the wrong conclusions about who assassinated Bannerjee, Jr. Mahone is all, "I see that the IQ of the agency dropped by ten points when I left," then points out in all sincerity, "Lincoln didn't kill Bannerjee. He was set up ... It was the [One World Conspiracy]. They've developed a device called Scylla. Listen to what's right in front of your face! The brothers didn't kill anybody. Listen to me. Listen to what I'm telling you." Alas, the same agents who were so right to call Don Self out on his punk-ass punkness do not follow their instincts on this, and so all Mahone can do is stare in bemusement at these tool-using primates whom his former employer has put on the payroll.
Back at the loft, General Von Baldy is still gassing on and on and man, how long until someone effects a dramatic rescue? 3 ... 2 ... 1. There we are! Who knew Sucre and C-Note were so capable of scaling buildings and taking people out with one or two well-aimed bullets. Michael then aims a gun at General Von Baldy's head and says, "This is where we say goodbye." And AGAIN, Dr. Sara is like, "Michael, no." And it's not because she's like, "Let me -- he did kill my dad and sic his mistress on me." ARGH. They end up handcuffing General Von Baldy to a staircase and taking off with Sucre and C-Note. And I must say that I am very disappointed in this scene for two reasons. First, because nobody in that room has the stones to kill the old bastard. And second, because Michael and Sucre do not hug at all. Which is just wrong, because damn, greater love hath no papi for his cellie than what Sucre just showed.
So then we hear sirens and Dr. Sara snaps, "Gentlemen, we have to leave." Sucre and C-Note carry Linc down to an SUV that is not all shot out, and everyone scrambles to get in, except -- oh, no! The cops are there now! Sucre heroically gets into another car and provides a roadblock/distraction to buy everyone else time to escape. He screams to Michael, "Go! Go!" As the cops arrest Sucre, we hear his theme and I can't help but remember: this is, like, the second time Sucre's let himself get arrested so Michael can escape. At least Michael looked a little torn up when he drove off, but I ask you, where is the love? Forum posters, I command you to deliver it to Sucre, since Michael so obviously cannot.
Back at the hideaway, Dr. Sara frets about Linc's health. Michael calls Kellerman and rasps, "You'd better come through for us in the end." C-Note thinks he will, but Michael dismissively points out, "We know him a little better than you." Linc gasps that they need to turn off the phone, as that's how General Von Baldy found them, and C-Note looks out the window to observe. "Somebody already has." He helps hustle Linc and Dr. Sara out of the room, then flees in advance of the gun-toting thugs. These are, as it turns out, Christina's thugs. Her makeup, by the way, is remarkably durable for a woman who was in the direct blast radius of an office-shattering bomb.
Meanwhile, Agent Franco is trying to get Sucre to drop a dime on Michael, apparently unaware of Sucre's tremendous obstinancy and willingness to go to jail for his friends. Agent Wright adds, "This is your last chance before we take this deal to Mahone." Sucre says, "If Mahone was talking, you guys wouldn't be here." Wright sputters at that, but his arguments are dashed against Sucre's story about a One World Conspiracy. Agent Wright concludes Sucre is dumber than he looks while we viewers at home chortle that it's Wright who is really the fool here.
Back to Christina, who's managed to find Scylla in the kitchen cabinet where Michael hastily stowed it. As she prepares to head out, a gun-toting Michael pops up from his hiding place and orders his mom to turn around slowly. "Drop the gun," he orders. Christina summons the waterworks and quavers, "Michael, when you were eight years old --" "I don't care. Drop the gun, put Scylla on the ground, and I'll let you walk out of here," he says coldly. Christina tries again: "You can't kill your mother, Michael." He says, "You were never my mother. And I'm no longer your son." This sets Christina off, and she calls Michael's bluff. She correctly concludes: "You can't do it, can you. You were born a Scofield, but you'll die a Burrows." And she'll die from being shot from behind by Dr. Sara, who fires just as Christina does. Dr. Sara's shot is better -- hers gets Christina, while Christina's just grazes Michael. However, Michael has no time to say anything like, "You know, if you didn't want to see my family at Thanksgiving, we could have talked about it first," because he's got a date to keep with Kellerman. Dr. Sara's like, "Right. And I'm getting Linc to the hospital. Muchas smoochas!"
So then Michael's walking to the rendezvous point, sort of bleeding and clutching Scylla to his side, when he gets surrounded by a new set of gun-toting goons. Poor Michael's got a WHAT NOW? look on his face as they frog-march him across a pedestrian bridge.
We then see Michael being marched into a conference room at gunpoint, which is pretty much how I have to be induced into attending staff meetings, and Michael sits down, clutching Scylla to his chest in a manner not unlike a first-grader holding his Buzz Lightyear lunchbox. Kellerman comes in and apologizes: "Sorry about all of that. I had to make sure you weren't followed." He then introduces his compadre as "Solomon Okella, United Nations. He's the man who will get this thing all done." Michael rattles off names: "Lincoln, Sara, Mahone, Sucre --" "Exonerated. All of them," Kellerman tells him. Thrilled as I am to see Kellerman, there is something strangely muted about his presence. Don't tell me he's been neutered by his tenure in an alternate universe where he's allegedly a pediatrician? Michael reluctantly hands over the case, and Okella plugs Scylla into his computer. It fails to fire up, and Okella snaps, "There's a piece missing."
Kellerman turns to Michael to delicately inquire as to what the hell Michael thinks he's doing. Michael asks how a U.N. representative is going to get the U.S. to drop any charges. "The U.S. doesn't even pay its U.N. dues!" he does not add, although it is just sort of hanging there. Kellerman grits that Michael's wasting time and putting lives in danger: "I've been telling everybody what a genius you are. Don't get stupid on me now." Okella is not putting up with these reindeer games, and shrugs, "I'm not waiting around. Either you have it or you don't." Kellerman hands the hardware back to Michael and says, "If you have it, please give it to me. You can be done with all of this, finally. And if you don't, fine. Just tell me so we can hurry up and run for our lives." And that is what finally unmans Michael. He goes limp with resignation and says, "I don't want to run anymore." "Neither do I," Kellerman says, fixing Michael with disconcertingly moist-eyed sympathy.
Then, with an orchestral swell of music, Michael snaps in a chip, hands the hardware over to Okella, and boom! Scylla's on the screen. Okella says, "I'll make the call," and exits, stage left.
And that's it: Scylla has been handed over to the United Nations. In theory, the UN will then ... bury the technology in a trillion working committees for fifty years, so by the time it's implemented, another One World Conspiracy will have arisen from the ashes of the old, and a new generation of mad scientists will have come up with even more awesome technology. Or is that too cynical?
Anyway, Kellerman turns to Michael and says softly, "You did it. It's over." Then he vanishes, leaving Michael alone at the conference table. Michael rests his head in his bloodied hands for a moment, completely overwhelmed and alone.
Back at the loft, General Von Baldy's liberating himself from his handcuffs when four cops burst in, guns drawn. A detective asks, "Jonathan Kranz?" "General Jonathan Kranz," Von Baldy replies pissily. The detective's like, "Good luck enforcing rank in prison, sir" and cuffs Von Baldy again. I would love to know exactly what charges they're bringing him up on. Violating the building's code by flinging disgraced government agents from the balcony? Violating code by permitting escaped convicts to climb the walls? Violating code by torturing people at the breakfast bar?
Then we cut to Christina laying face-down in a pool of her own blood. A paramedic covers her with a sheet while the detectives snap photos and gather evidence. The sheet billows out and the screen's covered in white ...
Then we see time-lapse footage of Miami, so we can infer that a day or two has passed. We then see another conference room: Mahone, C-Note, Sucre, Dr. Sara and Linc are all seated around a table and a suit-clad Kellerman stands at its head. An anonymous man in a suit drops some triplicate forms in front of everyone, with some pens, and Kellerman exposits that once these forms are signed, "There will be some follow-up interviews, but this is it. Sign it, and you're free to go." Everyone eagerly sets to, except Michael and Dr. Sara -- both of them are looking very nonplussed at this most recent development. However, Michael clicks his pen and signs. One by one, the other guys do too. As orchestral music swells, we see: Michael and Linc hugging (by the way, Linc's shirt is open to, like, his navel and we see nary a bandage left from having been shot a few days ago); Sucre and C-Note hugging; Mahone staring out a window all broodily. Sucre asks if he can keep the pen, which is very sweet, but then he walks over to Michael and Michael is busy hugging Dr. Sara. So we are denied a Michael/Sucre moment and that is just wrong, my friends. Kellerman continues his "Surprise! I'm Santa!" tour by telling Mahone and Linc that their respective loved ones are no longer likely to get popped by whatever remains of the One World Conspiracy. Then he reminds everyone they have one last bit of business: "Bagwell, T-Bag ... claims he helped find Scylla. He was helpful here in Miami. He wants exoneration as well." Inexplicably, we cut to Lincoln and not, say, Dr. Sara or Michael. It's just as well, as I'd be busy shouting at the TV, "If you chumps had dropped the serial killer after his attempted rape of a pregnant lady, this wouldn't even be an issue." Kellerman than tells everyone they get to decide what happens to T-Bag.
We cut to Michael and Lincoln striding down the hall to the bench where two cops are babysitting the hand-and-stumpcuffed T-Bag. The batamweight pervert immediately says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 -- let's forgive each other, Michael, Lincoln. In God's name, 'cause there's too much pain. There's too much hate in our hearts." Hilariously, in the background, we hear the faint swells of organ music, as if we are but a chord or two away from a full-on gospel choir led by singing nun Whoopi Goldberg. Linc says, "We took a vote. You're in luck." T-Bag begins weeping in relief. Linc digs in his pocket and says, "What we voted on was whether or not you took a stick of gum on the van ride back to prison." He stuffs a stick of Juicyfruit in T-Bag's mouth and walks off. Michael lingers for one last glower (that would not have even been necessary if he had dropped T-Bag like FOX dropped this show back in the condo), but heads off before he has time to hear T-Bag screaming about how he hopes Michael and Linc rot in hell. So much for that forgiving one another thing, eh?
Then we cut to Michael and Dr. Sara waling on the beach together. Michael says, "I want you to know, I'm totally going to be a hands-on dad." Dr. Sara grins as she says, "Okay ..." and Michael adds, "Like, if the baby needs a bottle in the middle of the night, I will totally keep your side of the bed warm until you get back." Dr. Sara starts giggling. And I am all about rooting for these two again because this was the kind of season one chemistry that had me making regular visits to the Prison of Love. Michael and Dr. Sara then chat a little about how not-at-all-baby-literate they are, and Michael says, "We better get some baby books, because I plan on being the most overinformed dad in Chicago." Oh, it's all very amusing, and then it gets a little schmoopy with Dr. Sara facing Michael on the beach and beaming, "I'm happy right now." He whispers, "So am I," except Dr. Sara is no longer happy, because guess whose nose has started bleeding again? I suppose the same flexible space-time continuum laws that have powered the Prison Break universe for the last four seasons have also decreed that Michael and Dr. Sara are only allowed THIRTY SECONDS OF HAPPINESS PER SEASON ON AVERAGE. Michael and Dr. Sara soberly embrace and exchange "I love you's" and I would be lying if I didn't admit to being a little misty-eyed when watching. We transition to the waves breaking on the beach, one gray swell after another cresting ...
And then we transition to a big, bleached-gray building and the legend "FOUR YEARS LATER." Mahone seals a birthday card in an envelope, and shortly before he drops it in the mail, we see that a) it bears no return address (which is either creepy or annoying, depending on whether you're a stickler for form) and b) it's to "Pam Larson" of Chico, California. So she has moved on -- or taken back her maiden name. And then, as Mahone walks away from the mailbox, we see that he has too. He's hooked with Lang! And they're kissing! He's about to head out on a trip. Well, since Lang appears to be fond of renovation projects, perhaps she's also got something she can do around the house.
Then we cut to a surf shop on the shore somewhere, and Sofia and Linc are walking out, holding hands as they explain away LJ's total absence in the finale with the ol' "he had exams" excuse. Linc then hops in a jeep and promises to be back soon. Sofia watches him go, looking completely smitten. Aww!
Then we cut to Sucre entering a little girl's room. He drops his duffel on the ground and cuddles a small, preschool-aged girl. She is looking up at him, eyes utterly limpid with devotion. I don't blame her -- if Sucre's turning a blazing smile on anything with an XX chromosome set, they're in a puddle on the floor. Sucre promises, "Daddy's going to come back in two days, okay?" And then there's a gentle popping sound heard across the continent as the thousands of women watching this all ovulate spontaneously.
And THAT line of thought gets stopped in its tracks because we're now looking at a vegetative Don Self in some rest facility. And ... so what? I'd rather find out how Gretchen's doing.
Then "Lay It Down Slow" by Spiritualized begins playing, and we see a newspaper hit a well-manicured suburban lawn. A UPS guy steps out to pick it up, and we see that it's C-Note. He waves to a neighbor, then stands on his lawn, breathing deeply and turning his face to the sun. It's all very sweet but I'd love to read a h
eadline that subtly updated us on whether or not Scylla's been implemented worldwide ("DROUGHT ENDS IN EASTERN AFRICA," for example) and I can't tell if he's wearing a wedding ring or not.
And then, we get the steps of a big building, and we find out that Kellerman's apparently become ... a Congressman? Whomever ran against him should sue their opposition researchers for gross incompetence. Even if you can't pin a dozen different murders on the guy, what about him testifying to being part of a massive One World Conspiracy? I mean, Jack Ryan lost a senate seat once it was revealed he liked sex clubs and that is small potatoes compared to someone cheerfully committing the following to public record: " I planted evidence, I procured a body, I lured Lincoln Burrows into that parking garage on that evening on the false premises of a different hit. From the ground up, we framed him. So Lincoln Burrows gets executed, people forget about Terrence Steadman, the controversy surrounding him and the presidency, and nobody ever knows about the [One World Conspiracy]." I guess the voters of Illinois will forgive corruption more easily than they do kink. Anyway, some voter is telling Congressman Kellerman, "You fight those bastards in Washington. You don't let them give you any guff." Kellerman chortles and assures her he won't. Because the voters have given him a license to kill, it seems. Right before Kellerman gets in his car, the widow of Danny Hale (the partner Kellerman killed in season one) stops by to introduce herself and spit in Kellerman's face. And we learn that he really has changed because he does not immediately break her neck or anything. Once in the car, Kellerman sits and sighs, looking regretful.
Then we cut to General Von Baldy, who is trembling and choking back tears as he is being strapped into an electric chair. After only four years? Wouldn't someone who was the head of a vast criminal conspiracy, with buckets of gold doubloons and agents in every powerful place on the planet, be able to muster enough legal help to tie up the appeals process for at least a decade? This is ... well, it makes "Congressman Kellerman" look plausible. Anyway, a priest asks, "Are you ready, my son?" and Von Baldy quavers, "Semper peratus." I can only hope we're going to get a wide reveal on the scene and discover T-Bag strapped into the chair to him as someone reads off a yard-long scroll of all the people T-Bag killed while he was on the lam.
No, wait ... the ESCAPED FUGITIVE who racked up a body count that requires two (attached) hands is apparently back at Fox River and up to the same-old, same-old. And I suppose I should write about how this scene reminds him of his time when he was Cole Pfeiffer and a respected man, yada-yada, but I think that letting T-Bag live behind bars is a bullshit move that panders to fans in entirely the wrong way. So I refuse to say any more about it. Robert Knepper does a wonderful job as a character who has more in common with Milton's Satan than he'll ever know, but that character deserved to come to an ignominious and sticky end.
Then we cut to a long-haired redhead in a spaghetti-strap sundress, sporting a big scar along her right shoulder. (Did Gretchen give Dr. Sara that, courtesy of their brief time together in Panama?) She's in an open-air market someplace where English is not the first language, and she's picking out a bouquet of calla lilies. The lady turns around and it is Dr. Sara. She chortles and says, "Michael, we gotta go." And we see that Michael ... has apparently traveled back in time and is now a sulky four-year-old child. Still working that Blue Steel, though.
Dr. Sara tears the child away from the fake-tattoo artist with nary an inquiry as to whether or not Michael's inking plans to break out of his room during naptime. And then she says, "Let's go see your daddy," so it appears that we're not exploring a television adaptation of Benjamin Button after all, but rather, this child is what Michael's DNA hath wrought. There is a cute sequence where Dr. Sara and Michael-the-child go skipping through the town square and we see that she is still prone to carrying gigantic handbags with her. I can only hope that parenthood made her more organized, and am obliquely grateful we never had any nerve-wracking sequences wherein she spent hours searching for the Lasinoh at the bottom of the diaper bag.
Then Dr. Sara and Michael-the-child are at the edge of a beach, and the child goes running toward Uncle Linc for a big hug. We see that Mahone and Sucre are there too, and there are hugs and kisses all around for Dr. Sara, and that she is wearing a wedding ring. Hmmmm. Still carrying the child -- and giving Sucre a run for the money in the "bald guys who could Get Some Anywhere, Anytime, so long as there is a toddler with them" category -- Linc leads the little group down to the beach. And then ...
They stop in front of a headstone. Michael-the-child lays down the flowers, and everyone takes a moment of silence. And then Linc puts a white origami swan on top of the headstone and walks off. One by one, everyone touches the tombstone and walks off into the sunset. Seriously -- there is a beach, there is a sunset, there are Mahone and Sucre acting oddly huggy in the background. And there is the legend on the tombstone: MICHAEL J. SCOFIELD. 10.8.1974 -- 11.5.2005. Husband. Father. Brother, Uncle. Friend. Be the change you want to see in the world. The camera pulls close to the swan and that's our final image, of the fragile little bird letting us all know that no matter what, Lincoln and Michael will always be brothers.
And that's it -- an off-screen death for one of the series heroes, and a sort of "Michael Scofield died for your sins" vibe draped around the survivors. Mr. Sobell and I argued about this ending for half an hour -- he says "it wasn't earned" and I argued that I love epilogues and the only thing wrong was that this wasn't done Animal House or American Graffiti style. But here is how Prison Break ends -- four people with ordinary lives gathering to remember an extraordinary person and the extraordinary experiences they had because of him. I like it.
And now for the goopy stuff from your recapper, which you are free to skip ...
It's a novel experience to recap a show from beginning to end -- at least novel by the standards of American television -- and I am grateful to Sars for assigning me this show, and to Angel Cohn and Daniel Manu for giving me the opportunity to see it through to completion. I am also very grateful to all of you who read the recaps and posted in the forums. It has been a privilege to have such a smart and engaged audience. I really enjoyed this show, and I enjoyed having the job of examining each episode and looking at it over and over again. It was a great gig, and I thank everyone who was along for the ride.
Discuss the finale in the Prison Break forums!