Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 38 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Don't Actually Know What You Did Last Labor Day
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 03.04.2014
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Tanner and Holbrook bring Hanna the note Paige slipped them last week about Alison still being alive, so -- when not being a bad date for good sport Travis -- she eventually figures out that Paige sold Ali out to the cops. Of course, nobody believes it, so the detectives continue to think that Hanna, and probably the whole Liars club, is involved in some kind of mess. Mostly it was nice to see Tanner again, as well as getting to hear Holbrook talk with his mouth -- and to see Hanna face up and apologize for jumping on him last week. By episode's end, Hanna's comfortable confronting Emily about Paige's indiscretion, which looks like it'll have major consequences next week. But continuing her streak of being the solidest kid on the block, Hanna's actually the only Liar that spends this week on anything other than a fucking rampage.
Emily stares into the eyes of a returned Mr. Fitz with the incinerating power of a million unblinking Pam Fieldses until he breaks down in the middle of school, which is gorgeous. Then, after Mikey shows up at the Brew cry-voicing about how Mona dumped him, she comes after Mona like a T-1000, nailing her to the wall and getting her to admit two interesting things: Number one, she's been Ezra's unwilling accomplice in his true crime project ever since we came back from break, extorted into spying re: the many bad deeds she did as A and even dating Mikey until his awesomeness got to her. And number two -- corroborated in different ways by the rest of the Liars -- Ezra's got a very convincing theory on who took over the A-Team game while Mona was in Radley.
Aria's been dealing with her heartbreak by drinking hard and hooking up with a fellow prospie at Byron's college, Syracuse University. The guy Riley is adorable, and perfect for Aria: Imagine waking up to a shirtless guy playing the guitar in a necklace and skinny jeans, and you can see what she's working with. Eventually he convinces her to head back to Rosewood with a punch in the head for Ezra, and their "move out of town" conversation is pretty hellish. She does get a copy of the manuscript -- which he says he's no longer pursuing, and in fact went to NYC last week to shut the whole thing down -- and learns here too of Ezra's theory.
After a short stint in rehab, the Hastingses have decided to take the amazing step of purchasing a hottie for Spencer, live-in drug counselor Dean. He looks like Andrew Garfield, wears rollneck cardigans that would impress even Rufus Humphrey, and generally is a perfect human being in all respects. He gets all life-coach up in Spencer's grill and gradually wins her over, but his post-rehab regimen brings up lots of random memories about that time Spencer clobbered Alison over the head in front of CeCe Drake and Jessica DiLaurentis, which may or may not be real. Also real-or-not-real: Jessica doing creepy-as-shit things all over the Hastings house of darkness that only Spencer is picking up on.
What is very real though is the renewed interest of A in Spencer's life, now that Toby's off to London (?) and homegirl's on house arrest... And that Mona and Ezra (and basically everybody but Emily, to one extent or another) believe Jessica to be the new A. Why would she be working against the Liars, if her only goal is bringing her daughter home? And why's Alison so afraid of her? I don't know. But with two weeks left in the season, I know we've got at least one more episode of prime Jessica DiLaurentis nonsense coming, and that pleases me beyond measure.
Next Week: Another Jessica DiLaurentis fashion show means the dubstep demons may return; Spencer somehow falls off a cliff in wedding dress like can sometimes happen to you if you are not careful with fashion; Emily goes after Paige for endangering Alison yet again and trying to be the boss of her yet again and generally messing things up like always yet again; and everybody deals with Spencer's idea that maybe Alison is afraid of her for trying to kill her that one time. I say you gotta come at that bitch with more than a shovel before she's gonna take you seriously, that's what I think.
Yeah, I said it: Even a shovel.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Hanna is spending her post-Caleb time kissin' both officers and gentlemen. Aria was all offended just because her entire relationship with Ezra Fitz was a skeevy creepy exploitative lie, and then he lied on top of the lie about how he wasn't going to publish his book about Alison but in fact went to New York to do so last week. Emily stupidly told Paige that Alison is alive, causing Paige to instantly try and get Alison killed again for the fourth or fifth time. Spencer probably killed Ali one of the times that somebody killed Ali, and also she went to rehab between episodes.
POST-REHAB
Veronica: "So nothing happened at rehab? This isn't going to be like you're going to say midway through next season, Oh did I not mention that a woman got pushed down some stairs while I was in rehab? I was standing right there, saw the whole thing."
Spencer: "I don't want to go into it. I'm mad about everything! Because of detox, and rehab, and my life being in constant peril."
Veronica: "Well, you are certainly being a bitch about it."
Spencer: "That's because of my flashback I'm having about this time I murdered Alison."
Veronica: "Do you want some leftover carbonara? Or a salad, if you'd like something lighter? Or some soup, if you would prefer something more liquid? Or bread pudding, if you would prefer something lumpy?"
Spencer: "Hang on, I am still having this flashback."
Veronica: "Then I'll just go straight to hell, I guess. Nice having you home. Oh, tomorrow morning is going to be a shitshow. Just fair warning."
But first: A bunch of grave dirt under Spencer's sheets, with a note about Spencer digging Alison's grave, because shovel shovel shovel shovel, guess what, shovel. Two can keep a shovel if one of them is shovel.
NEXT AM
Spencer: "Hey, good morning! Back to life, back to reality. Where's my keys?"
Veronica: "You don't have keys. What you do have is a hot boy we bought you."
Kol Mikaelson: "Hey, I look like Spiderman. Maybe I am thirteen or maybe I am thirty. I live here now. Is that cool?"
Veronica: "Also now home is jail. No phone, no friends, no computer. Just you and this super-hot boy that is still unexplained, monitoring your habits."
Spiderman: "Maybe I am a life coach. Maybe I am a spy. Maybe I am some kind of brownie that lives in the backyard and does simple chores in exchange for a bowl of milk each night."