Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sweet Disposition
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 01.31.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Aria has been up all night -- dressed like if the Hamburglar joined Bananarama -- because that picture of the somebody chasing Alison from That Night was totally taken from Alison's bedroom. So they send Spencer to speak to funny-talking/hot brother Jason DiLaurentis, who gets the photo tested but later admits he could have taken it. He was fucked up that night because that whole year he was doing drugs with Ian, whom btw he and all the other drug guys knew was boning Alison, which is gross on all levels. Spencer figures out at some point during the episode that it's actually herself in the picture -- because of that time she murdered Alison for warning her about Melissa finding out about Ian in a way that seemed like a threat -- but then they see Jason skulking around in Maya/Alison's bedroom and they all scream!
Hanna's stuff this week is amazing. Turns out that old lady is coming back to the bank early, which means Ashley is shitting herself, so A sends Hanna this awesome Mother's Day card and drawn on the front a comic balloon coming out of the mommy's mouth that says, "I NEED MONEY!" which I think just might be the greatest A message of the entire show, it's so fucking beautiful. Well done.
So the deal is that Hanna's supposed to get Ella to figure out her daughter is sleeping with Fitz, by sending her to this out-of-town museum opening that Ezra and Aria are attending as a real-life couple. After Spencer accidentally compares Hanna's A-rrangement to the annexation of Poland, she realizes you shouldn't give into bullies -- for real -- but when she tries to warn Aria off, girlfriend just bushies her eyebrows and calls Hanna a hater some more. All of which gets fixed later; the important thing is that both Aria and Ezra look hotter than the fucking sun on their date.
Thanks to secret helping by Caleb the Cyberwolf, Ella's car breaks down, and she ends up hitching a ride with Estranged Byron and then boning him in the museum parking lot! YES! The cagey way Mom acts and lies about this to Aria the next day just confuses the issue for everybody, but the point is: A was defied. That should turn out well. Oh, and then further irony: Mrs. Potter drops dead minutes before her appointment, so the whole Hanna/Aria throwdown thing was even more of a useless farce than it seemed. Which is nice, because I don't like it when Hanna is sad.
Feeling bad about her memories of killing Alison in the yard that time, or at least yelling at her and being photographed in the yard that time, Spencer spends the episode running around being like twice as Spencery as usual: When Emily gets menaced and gay-bullied by her competition on the swim team, Paige McCullers who wears Selma Blair's old haircut and a shitload of cardigans, Spencer calls a PE coach tribunal that causes Emily to nearly take her head off. Oh, and then Paige tries to drown Emily and it's awesome.
Also, they follow up on the maker of those bracelets they always wear and stare at all the time, and it is Mrs. Garrett rocking some short white hair and support for Geri Jewell's sexuality. She says A bought the bracelets under Spencer's name, so it's a dead end, but then in the creepy tag we find her making tea for A, remarking on her "interesting eyes," and Renfielding around about how she told Spencer the lie she was supposed to. Oooo!
Next week: Running around, screaming, Spencer finally makes an ally of Toby.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Fairly touching scene where Hanna comes downstairs to find her mommy sitting in a very cool-lit kitchen, looking quite small and sad. The brittle reality of Ashley Marin goes both ways, and it's really sad to see her looking so jacked up about everything. She tells Hanna this story while making pancakes -- carbs, it must be real bad -- about how when she was in the hospital they wanted to shave part of Hanna's head and Ashley wouldn't let them, and then breaks down pretty much altogether: "I want you to know that no matter what happens you will always... Be my baby girl, and I will always figure out a way to take care of you. You want some bacon? I'll make some bacon."
Oh, it's rough! Maybe it's the ponytail or the cable cardigan but she's never seemed more like a strong mom/good woman. Hanna just goes real soft and then hard and you're like, if A told her to cut off one of Aria's toes today probably she would do that, and frankly I wouldn't even really blame her after that, so ruining Ella Montgomery's already-ruined life seems tiny in comparison.
Hey Paige? Don't touch Emily's bra. The reason homophobe = homosexual is such a cliché is because it is true: Other people are just the parts of yourself you said no to. So Paige gets up in Emily's grill and tells her she'll never be team captain -- which you don't know Emily at all if you think that's something that would ever interest her -- and finally Paige is all, "Being so into the breast stroke could really end up hurting you. We all know what team you really play for."
Ugly, ugly. Ugly haircut, ugly boxy business suit-looking outfit, ugly wordplay. But it gets better, and I mean if we never see Maya again at least she taught Emily to step outside the box before committing to an emotion, because check out this awesome Spencer-spiced greatness right here: "You know what, Paige? You need to suck it up. If you want to beat me, work harder."
So Hanna drops off Ella's ticket -- under the pretense that it's a gift from the Rosewood PTA for her help with the dance, like, "Hey Lonely! Take in some art!" -- and then immediately spots Aria and Ezra being... Adorable. Yeah, I know! But she spots him in the hallway and gives a funny grin and runs her hand down an imaginary necktie and he grins so fucking goofy and shruggy and blushy and it's just... Maybe it's just for this week. But I said the same thing last week -- how it's okay to not totally hate Aria sometimes -- so who knows what's going on with me.