Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sweet Disposition
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 15 | Aired on 01.31.2011
Ella and Byron have been reminiscing all the way to the museum, about the killswitch and the weird smell and the fact that like their junky marriage, they can dropkick the junky car now too, and they finally pull up and thank God Aria and Ezra are douching it up inside, for not just the obvious reason but also the total makeout session this just turned into. Sometimes your only option is to burn it all down and take your cues from Phil Collins: I'm not leaving unless you come with me. Walk away from the wreckage holding hands and figure out something new. Those two crazy kids!
Mrs. Edna Garrett is looking pretty great for a thousand-year-old lady, and clearly enjoying her role as the batty old bead lady. She digs through shit at length and talks Spencer's ear off and finally produces the receipt for the bracelets, and guess who bought them? Somebody named... Spencer Hastings. Wily, wily A. Spencer's face is like, "I scarfed down a pizza in the middle of the afternoon for this shit?" On the other hand, if her blood sugar dropped right now she'd probably just take Mrs. G out altogether for disappointing her. Boom!
Tomorrow. Hanna's been avoiding Aria because of Aria trying to kill her with eyebrow lasers yesterday, but finally she appears to make penance for what she assumes was the destruction of Aria's life and family... But Aria's like, "I'm so glad we're still friends! And PS, last night was super awesome." So they make up, but only in practice, because they're actually having two separate conversations and only Hanna knows that. So once again Hanna doesn't even have to tell anybody about her A-rrangement, which I'm thinking is over? But who knows what will happen there, honestly; I'd be fine either way.
A pretty lady song plays us through to the next scene, which is slow-motion Emily doing laps, alone, because her life is just Chariots Of Fire all the time now, and it's so calm and peaceful that you know when she gets to the end of her lane, Paige is gonna hold Emily's head underwater until she is like dead. Emily's still being awesome, though: She immediately recovers and goes, "What the hell!" Dude, if Emily's going to be this cool every time somebody comes after her, I hope they all do. She can be the new Hanna, and just have cars and psychos constantly coming at her from every direction.
So Paige obliges, and tells her what the hell: Emily's replaced her as "relay anchor" and clearly this is the work of a lesbian conspiracy that can only be overcome through watery murder. Emily's like, "Well don't fucking drown me about it, Psycho! Go bitch at Coach!" Paige is like, "I've got enough crazy for everybody, honey. Don't you worry."